Lynn's diary

>Dear diary.
>Huh, I never tried this before, am I doing it right?
>Well, Leni said that I could use it to drop all of my thoughts and such in it.
>Probably shouldn't have written all of this down.
>Well whatever.
>Dear diary, since you're a new member of the Loud house, let me present myself to you.
>I'm Lynn Loud, I'm 13 years old, I'm totally the best athlete ever, hehe, and I love my annoying family.
>Well not all of them, but we'll get to that, alright?
>I do love all my younger sisters and I don't hate the older ones.
>And then, there's Lincoln, my little brother.
>I still remember the day he was born.
>I may have been a toddler but, I remember every small detail of that small baby.
>His white hair, his small everything and how delicate, so fragile he looked.
>I was fascinated, my baby brother was so, cute~!
>And so helpless.
>He would always cry for every single thing: because he was hungry, cold or scared.
>After a while, I realized that I had to be a strong sister for the little guy.
>Well, this is a secret so don't tell this to anyone, alright?
>I love sports a lot.
>But the reason I started playing them was, well it was him.
>Not only to be a tough sister that could protect Lincoln, but to have something in common when he grew up.
>Boys like sports, don't they?
>But he's such a pansy! He sits around in his room reading comics or playing video games all day.
>Good thing I'm so good at sports or I would've wasted my time, right?
>Still, I can't be angry with him, I love that guy.
>...
>Hey, can you keep a secret?
>Well, I mean, I guess you can but, I'll just have to hide you well.
>Little by little, my feelings for Lincoln changed.
>When I realized it, I couldn't stop thinking about Lincoln.
>Not as the little brother I had to protect, but as a boy.
>Ok, no, both as a brother AND as a boy.
>Weird, I know, but hear me out...
>Or, read me out. Dang it, I need to stop treating you as a person.

>The day came when I just couldn't stand seeing him with our older sisters.
>Lincoln is so nice with them and they don't appreciate it.
>Lori was always bossy with him.
>Luna kept blasting her music at him. Doesn't she understand that he is a delicate boy?
>Luan drags him into her stupid presentations and Leni, well she doesn't do anything, but that angers me even more.
>And that's the problem, you see?
>I mean, I said that they were ungrateful with him but, I don't know, I hate when they show any kindness to him.
>When I see them hugging him or pecking him on the cheek or making him laugh, I feel something hurting.
>Like if they were trying to rip my insides apart.
>I was always able to distract me from these feelings, though.
>Go play with this ball or punch my sandbag.
>That made the pain go away, especially thinking about how much I love my sisters.
>But everything changed when that ugly and stupid ass came into his life.
>Ronnie.
>Even her name is dumb, right?
>The moment I heard she was bullying my precious brother, something changed inside me.
>Up until now, I was the only one that punched him or kicked him, but that was for his own good, you know?
>To toughen the little guy up!
>Knowing that this stupid, piece of nothing was making Lincoln suffer.
>The small kid I decided to protect since the first day I set my eyes on him.
>Something got ahold of me.
>I was wrathful.
>That's when I learned what hate actually meant.
>Hate isn't avoiding someone because you don't want to see her.
>Hate is more than wanting to sit away from her.
>Hate is, for a fraction of a second, feeling a heat inside of your stomach that burns you. A heat that controls your body and silences your mind.
>A heat that makes you act like an animal, making you want to bite the responsible with all your might as if they were a piece of meat so that you can tear apart again and again.
>That person stops being a person to become a nameless piece of stinky meat that needs to be butchered.
>And that fraction of a second repeats itself every time you hear their name.
>That was what I felt when I heard someone was bullying my little Lincoln.
>But when I learned that the culprit was a girl and not a boy? That only meant one thing, they were a female that wanted to take him away from us, take away my Lincoln from ME!
>I didn't just want to bite that piece of meat, I wanted to claw it, snap it, step on it, kick it and very slowly squeeze it with my hands and feel it slowly going cold.

>That was a good description of how I felt, wasn't it?
>I actually stole it from one of Lucy's poems.
>I know I know, stealing is bad, but when I heard that description, it clicked with me, you know?
>Who doesn't want to bite meat?
>Anyways, when I heard from Lori that these two had something, I didn't want to know about it.
>Feeling desperate, I needed to be alone, but it is impossible to have peace in this loud house.
>Haha, get it?
>Sorry, that sucked.
>Every single room was occupied.
>Lucy was in our room, Luna was in the garage, Luan was in her room watching her videos, mom was in the kitchen, etc etc.
>That's when I remembered that there was only one room with not a single soul.
>Without thinking about it, I ran and locked myself in Lincoln's room.
>He was with Clyde and wasn't going to come home until night, so it was the only safe haven of privacy I could find.
>The only quiet spot in this madhouse.
>All the noise from the house sounded like faraway echoes while in his room.
>Isn't it amazing? Even when he's not around, he still finds a way to take care of me.
>That little brother of mine, how much I love him~
>But you already know that, don't you?
>I need to confess something. When I get to find some alone time, I like to relax a little bit.
>Remember that I'm also a girl and for a moment, feel smaller than what I'm actually are.
>Feel like a delicate flower, cry a little bit, hug my knees, you know?
>It's not like I am girly or all that jazz! But sometimes I need to cry and feel fragile, especially at that moment.
>Don't tell anybody I said that alright?!
>So, in that room, laying on his bed and quietly sobbing, I noticed that I was on top of a used shirt of his.
>A strange thought came to me, I don't know what happened, but I sniffed it a little bit.
>Sounds weird, I know! But please, don't judge me.
>It made me feel a little better.
>At first, it was just a tiny itty bitty sniff.
>But I ended taking some of the deepest of breaths I've ever taken while holding it with my hands.
>"Oh~ Lincoln!" I said.
>I felt my body numb, the echo from the house relaxed me and his scent flooded my entire head.
>That's when I noticed I was in the mood for, well...
>You know, that.
>Well ok, you're a book, you wouldn't know about it but, when a girl thinks about her special someone, she has some needs, you know?
>That's what Lori said that time she didn't lock the bathroom door.

>Is it weird that I like doing it with my clothes on?
>I mean, I hope not.
>I normally like to go slow.
>One of the great things about being an athlete like me is that your body is in great shape.
>So, I really like to slowly caress it.
>From my neck to my thighs, I love rubbing my whole body with the tip of my fingers.
>I took my time not only because I was really in the mood, but because I had only one hand available.
>The other one was holding his shirt.
>Going down to my stomach, my waist and hips, I caressed all those curves all the way down to my inner thighs.
>I was breathing heavily.
>I couldn't believe what I was doing, I was going to touch myself in Lincoln's room!
>That was so wrong, yet it felt sooo good.
>Before I noticed it, the image of Lincoln caressing my body sent a shock throughout my entire body.
>I closed my eyes and I imagined his fingers doing it instead of mine.
>Lincoln spread the lips and he slowly pushed one of his fingers inside of me.
>My breathing got even heavier, maybe because was breathing with his shirt on my face.
>But I couldn't contain myself, I could almost hear his voice speaking sweet words into my ear.
>Unconsciously, my hand increased its speed and the wet sounds could be clearly heard.
>I remember a couple of moans escaped my mouth while I tried to clench my teeth.
>I could only remember myself thinking how much I loved Lincoln and how bad I wanted him to make me his.
>When it finally happened, my body tensed so much, that my hips raised and I screamed, trying to muffle myself with his shirt.
>"Wow, that was something else." I said, huffing and puffing on his bed.
>I took a couple of minutes to recover, looking at the ceiling, thinking about nothing.
>That's when I realized how much I desired him.
>I wanted to be his girl, his woman.
>But I finally understood how much I hated Ronnie.
>She needs to go.
>Ronnie, she will hurt him, I know she will hurt him.
>I needed to butcher that piece of meat.
>"I won't let you touch MY Lincoln ever again."
>Now this is the embarrassing part.
>Just as I pull my shorts up and noticed all the, well all the juice on Lincoln's bed, I heard someone knocking on the door.
>"Hey! Lynn, Lincoln needs his bedroom!"
>I thought he was coming later that day, but nope, I was super wrong.
>"Oh! J-just a minute, mom!"
>"No, open now, we need to talk!"
>"Dang it, no time to clean now." I thought to myself, so I put his shirt on top of the wet blanket and quickly opened the door.
>Out there, some of my sisters were staring at me. Lori and Luan were giggling, my mother was softly shaking her head and Lincoln was there, looking at the floor while rubbing his arm and fidgeting with his foot.
>"Is... everything alright?" I asked.
>Well it turns out, I wasn't aware of how loud I actually was!
>That was so embarrassing.
>I could feel my face getting as red as a tomato.
>When Lincoln arrived home and he walked up the stairs to his room, he heard some of the sounds going inside his room.
>"Lynn, honey, I think it's time to have the talk." My mother said.
>"Am I in trouble?" I asked. You have no idea how worried I was.
>"Of course not! We just need to have a lady talk." She answered.
>I couldn't even look Lincoln in the face when mom pulled me to her bedroom.
>"Well... I think I'll be in my room now." Lincoln said before getting in, closing the door and screaming aloud "what is this?!"
>I still get so red after remembering that!
>And then, the "talk" happened.
>"As your body grows, I understand you have some needs. I'm not angry at you." My mother went on and on.
>Couldn't she see I wanted to die? The last thing I needed was this!
>After an hour, she finally let me go but she said to me "You need to go and apologize to him."
>The last thing I wanted to do was talk to Lincoln.
>"Please no, everything but that!" I begged.
>"Trust me, the faster "I force" you to talk to him, the quicker it'll stop being awkward." After that, I had to go knock on his door.

>I remember walking up the stairs and down the hallway to his room and feeling like it was such a long trip.
>It felt like that one time I broke a window at school and they sent me to the principal's office.
>But a lot scarier.
>I tried to back off, but if mom found out I didn't apologize to him, I would be trouble.
>I felt like I was stuck in between a sword and a wall.
>I don't know which one was the sword, though.
>With every step, I could feel my throat clogging more and more with tears.
>It's not like I was going to cry, you know?
>But I really, really wanted to at that moment.
>I finally got to his door and stared at the doorknob.
>And stared.
>And stared.
>Just when I was about to reach it, I heard a voice behind me.
>"Hey Lynn, wet's up? Haha! Got ya!"
>She took me by surprised, so I screamed.
>"Luan! Not now! I'm trying to do something!"
>"Aww, I'm sorry, I didn't want to rub you the wrong way. Haha! Get it?"
>"Luan, stop."
>"What? I just want to please you!"
>I could feel my face hotter than ever before and my body trembling.
>Just as I was about to scream my lungs out, the door to Lincoln's room opened.
>"What are you girls doing outside my room?! I'm trying to do something!" Lincoln said.
>When I saw him, I could feel all the heat on my face and body be replaced by a very cold sensation.
>"...Hi, Lincoln..." I remember I stuttered those words.
>I was feeling dizzy, like I wanted to throw up, just like when you exercise in the morning without taking your breakfast.
>"Hey Lynn..."
>I hate awkward moments like that so much.
>It felt like an eternity, I wasn't able to look him in the eyes.
>"Hey, what's wrong? Did the pussy get your tongue? Oh wow, I'm on fire!"
>"Ok, that's it. Luan, get into our room, now!" Luna said while walking out of her door and pulling Luan back.
>"Aww, but I still have more jokes!"

>"So, is it alright if we talk in your room? I don't want to hear any more of Luan's jokes." I finally said.
>"Yeah, sure come on in."
>As he closed the door behind us, I felt like I was making a huge mistake.
>Thinking about it, Luan was the perfect distraction.
>But inside his room? Only him and myself?
>Sometimes I rub my arm when I feel nervous or sad, so that's exactly what I started doing.
>I always tried so hard to never be vulnerable in front of him and that was what I was doing.
>I needed to say something quick but I was locked in place.
>"Hey, Lil' bro, how's it going?" Finally broken the silence.
>Just as I said that I finally tried to look him in the eyes and noticed that he was also dodging my gaze.
>"Oh, nothing much. I was about to take out the laundry basket."
>"Ah, I see..."
>More silence.
>That's when I noticed the top bed sheet was in the basket.
>And that's when it started. I began crying in front of Lincoln.
>The only thing I didn't want to do, ever, and I started doing it.
>"Oh, Lincoln, I'm so, sorry, I didn't want to, to..." I was tripping over my own words and I wasn't able to say a thing, you know?
>"No no! Lynn, it's alright! Oh, jeez, I'm not mad, I swear!" He said.
>"But you were the last person I... I... because of you..." I don't know what I was thinking back there, but I couldn't control my words.
>I kept weeping, I don't know why, but it felt like he discovered the deepest feelings I had for him.
>"I get it, I get it, don't worry about it, Lynn. I know it must have been really embarrassing for your only brother to notice that you were doing it but... uh... you don't have to worry about it, alright? Come here."
>And then, he hugged me while he caressed the back of my head.
>"Please don't cry, my strong sister would never cry, would she?"
>I instantly hugged the little guy with all my strength.
>This wasn't a normal hug, this was something else, I could feel it.
>It was so, so juicy.
>Dang it, I'm not Lucy so I can't come up with good descriptions but the only thing I knew is that I didn't want it to end.
>It felt good to cry in front of him, like, it felt just right to show him this hidden side of me.

>"I'm sorry Linc, I'm so sorry". I said.
>Look, this is a secret, alright? But I wasn't apologizing just for having fun on his bed, but for having these feelings for him.
>"...That's great... now finish this hug please..."
>"No, not yet, please."
>It turns out I was kind of asphyxiating him, but he's fine, nothing bad happened to him.
>Anyways, after releasing him we talk for a little bit.
>I never felt so connected with him. Like there was something special between us after that chat that none of our other sisters had.
>And especially not with Lincoln.
>"Let me take this downstairs for you, Linc."
>"Thanks, Lynn. Oh, and if you need to talk about anything, I'll be here for you, alright?"
>Let me repeat that.
>He said he was going to be here for me.
>FOR ME.
>My heart skipped a beat when he said that and I could feel a stupid grin draw on my face.
>Making sure he wasn't looking at my face, I softly said.
>"If... if I ever need to cry, c-can I come to you?"
>A short silence almost made me regret saying those words, but then said.
>"Of course! You're big sister, but I'm still your brother and will never think less of you. You can come here anytime!"
>"Yes, thank you! I'll take that offer!"
>Closing the door behind me, I took the basket to where Lori was washing our clothes and left it with her.
>"You're awfully happy, Lynn." She remarked.
>"Well, I had a nice chat with Lincoln just now."
>But for some reason she didn't want to let it go.
>"That's not the kind of attitude I was expecting you to have."
>"What are you talking about?"
>"Well, your family found out you were pleasuring yourself, mom had an hour long talk with you and you had to apologize with Lincoln who now knows you touch yourself. I would've thought you would be a lot more exhausted than this."
>"Yes, and? Is there something wrong? Maybe I liked talking with mom and Lincoln."
>"I just find it, weird."
>Why does she always have to be so salty about everything?
>If she's not with her dumb boyfriend then she is always in a bad mood.
>I'm glad that she's not my only sister or she would drive me nuts all the time.
>But anyways, diary, I did understand a couple of things.
>Lincoln likes me and cares about me and I can always expect him to be with me all the time.
>Maybe, maybe I have something in here, maybe I can do something, don't you think?
>What do you think, diary?
>Oh, right, I keep forgetting.

-----

>Dear diary.
>Sorry if I left you by yourself for the last couple of weeks, but I keep forgetting you exist.
>Sorry.
>But I promise that I will tell you all about these two weeks, alright?
>The next day during breakfast, I sat together with Lincoln and we talked about everything and nothing.
>He was so happy to see me smile, I couldn't stop from hugging him again and again.
>I never felt so close to him before and I could feel he was the same with me.
>"Hey, Lincoln! Mom is in the bathroom, can you make a sandwich?" Lola screamed.
>"Not now, Lola, we are having a nice chat." I told her.
>"But I want a sandwich!" She kept going on and on.
>"It's ok, Lynn, I can make her-"
>"Lola! Stop being so annoying!" I finally screamed.
>I didn't notice how loud I was but everyone immediately got quiet.
>Lola's eyes looked like two plates and it took a while for her to process what just happened.
>And then, tears began to appear on her eyes.
>"I... I just wanted a sandwich, Lynn... you didn't have to scold me!" After saying that, she began to cry.
>The rest of the girls glared at me and they began yelling at me.
>All of them, except Lori.
>"Lynn, you didn't have to be so mean!" Lincoln finally said. "It wouldn't have taken me more than a minute to do it."
>He quickly pulled himself away from me and went to hug Lola.
>"Don't cry, Lola. I'll make you your sandwich and give you a couple of cookies. We can have a tea party when we come back from school, deal?"
>"You... you mean it?"
>"Of course!"
>That broke my heart. I finally got something special with Lincoln and I messed up big time.
>"I'm... I'm sorry, Lincoln, I didn't mean to-" I tried to say, feeling tears gulping in my throat again.
>... I swear I'm not a crybaby, but I didn't want Lincoln to be angry at me.
>"Well don't apologize to me, apologize to Lola!"

>"Yes, Lincoln, anything you want. Lola? Lola, I'm sorry for screaming at you."
>She was looking at me with tears running down her cheeks, her arms cross and angry eyes.
>"Well I don't forgive you, you meanie!" Lola said, while she grabbed Lincoln's hand.
>You know how hard it was to not show any kind of emotion? I felt like a knife was stabbing my heart.
>"Lola, don't be like that." Lincoln begged.
>But she kept glaring at me.
>"Let's go, Lincoln. We need to prepare for school." Lola finally said, pulling our brother by the hand.
>When they walked upstairs, the rest of our sisters didn't stop judging me.
>"That was, like, totes not cool, you didn't have to act like that!" Leni said.
>"Yeah, what's your damage?" Luna asked.
>"Well I'm-... I'm sorry, alright? I don't know why did it, it was an accident!" I clumsily answered.
>"In that case, I hope it doesn't happen again." Luan said, as the sisters walked upstairs.
>All, except for Lori, who kept staring at me with blank eyes.
>"... what's wrong?"
>"Nothing much. I'm just thinking."
>Her eyes scared me.
>They didn't show any kind of anger but, well, they didn't show anything.
>I didn't know what she was thinking!
>As I slowly walked backwards, her eyes kept following me.
>"W-what?! Lori, you are s-scaring me!"
>"Don't you have to brush your teeth Lynn?" She finally said.
>Next thing I know, I was running upstairs, trying to escape those judging eyes.
>I didn't want to see them ever again. If you were under them, then you'd understand how creepy and painful they were.
>Anyways, I was on the line to get into the bathroom, behind my other sisters, who didn't even look at me.
>After a while, Lola and Lincoln walked out of the door and she was still angry with me.
>Lincoln didn't say anything, but he softly shook his head.
>That made me hug my arms while I tried to dodge his gaze.
>I didn't know which eyes hurt me the most back then.

>After that horrible experience, we all got into Vanzilla and dad drove us to school.
>It was an uneventful day, nothing much happened.
>I was mostly thinking on Lincoln and what to do to get him to stop being angry with me.
>I sighed as much as Lucy throughout the day.
>When the bell rang, I didn't go to practice.
>Wasn't in the mood for all that jazz.
>"Honey, what are you doing here?" Dad asked me.
>"Nothing! I just... had an accident and I can't stay to practice."
>"Oh! Right, right! Sorry to hear that."
>It's always funny when he gets like this, he is is such a dork.
>Just like Lincoln.
>Lincoln.
>Thinking about it, I shouldn't have scolded Lola for just a sandwich.
>I was just scared and excited, you know?
>Yes, I did overreact and I'm sorry about that.
>But, she was screaming at Lincoln like she always does, couldn't she at least say please?
>Ugh, but still, it was bad on my part.
>I hate hindsight.

>Anyways, when we all arrived home, everyone but Lola, Lincoln and Lori chilled down with me.
>Lola was still puffing her cheeks when she saw me.
>Lincoln wasn't angry but, he wasn't talking with me like he was in the morning.
>And Lori, she still had those eyes when she looked at me.
>"Hey, Lola." I finally said "Look, I'm really sorry for losing it during breakfast. Can you please forgive me? I promise I'll go to your tea party together with Lincoln."
>"I'm sorry, Lynn. But the guest list is always full. However, we do need a butler to serve us tea."
>Wearing a butler's suit? Well, I'll do anything to make her stop and by extension, Lincoln being mad at me.
>"Alright, alright, I'll be your butler, Lola."
>"Lola?! Is that how a servant directs herself towards a different class?!"
>"Ugh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Loud."
>"Much better. Now, chop chop! Put on your suit!"
>"But we're about to eat lunch!"
>"You want to be part of the tea party, yes or no?!"
>And so, I sat on the table wearing that stupid suit.

>So I had to stand up there, besides Lincoln, Lola and a bunch of stuffed animals making the sound of tea pouring down.
>It was embarrassing to have Lincoln look at me.
>But when he laughed, not at me, but at the whole situation, I smiled.
>Lincoln was finally happy with me!
>Everything went great.
>Lola wasn't angry with me either, so that's a plus.
>When we were done and I was finally able to take off the butler outfit, I crashed in his room.
>"That was awfully nice of you, Lynn."
>"Oh well, that was nothing. Everything to make one of our sisters happy, right?"
>"Haha, yeah, that's exactly what I say."
>I sat next to him on his bed, our shoulders almost touching.
>"Why did you do it, Lynn?"
>"Huh?"
>"Why did you scold Lola this morning?"
>"Oh! I, uh... I was having one of those mornings, you know? I was irritated after I woke up.
>"... but you were smiling until she asked for that sandwich."
>"Oh... I mean, come on, Lil' bro! Why do you have to ask your big sister about private stuff?" I said while hugging his shoulders and sitting a little closer to him.
>"Private? Oh! Oh, Lynn, I'm sorry! I didn't know it was a, well, special situation... Oh jeez, I'm making this worse, aren't I?"
>Such a cute dork.
>"It's ok Linc, it's ok."
>I chose that opportunity to hug him with my other arm and rest my head on his shoulder.
>"I could never be angry at you for such a stupid reason. You are my cute little brother after all~."
>"Oh, that's a relief."
>Hugging him in this position felt so nice.
>It was such an intimate moment for us, I could feel him suddenly get a little nervous and after a couple of minutes he said something to break the ice.
>"Yeah... It's nice that Lola isn't angry with you anymore, right?"
>"Mhm~"
>"Yeah... So how are things going at your school?"
>"Pretty well, Linc, thanks for asking."
>I was wishing he wouldn't say another word and enjoy my embrace.
>"So, umm... Hey, Lynn..."
>"Mmm?"

>"Lincoln! Hey, Lincoln!"
>Luan.
>Why did she have to ruin it for me?
>What was so important that she needed his attention, taking him away from me?
>"Oh, hey, Lynn! Luan needs me, be right back!"
>He stood up, broke the hug and walked out of the door.
>I just sat there, crossing my arms and sighing.
>"Ugh, this is not fair." I said without noticing it.
>"What's not fair?"
>Why does Lucy keep doing this? Appearing behind us is super creepy.
>"Nothing, Lucy, nothing."
>"Are you going to use Lincoln's room again?"
>Why is this girl so blunt? When she said that, my face got super, super red.
>"What?! Lucy, no! Please, don't say that. It's embarrassing!"
>"Oh. Then why are you here?"
>"I'm waiting for Lincoln to come back. He is with Luan right now."
>"He won't be coming back soon. Luan took him to one of her presentations."
>"What?! Didn't she know he was busy with me?!"
>As I said that, Lucy stared at me.
>"...what."
>"You are doing it again."
>"Lucy, what are you talking about."
>"Just like with Lola, you are doing this again."
>I felt my blood going cold after she said that.
>"Is something wrong, Lynn?"
>I had to get out of there, I needed some air.
>"Oh, would you look at the time! We still have a lot of sunlight left, I'm going to ride my bike for a while, Lucy. See you around."
>"I thought you were on your days."
>"I..."
>"Wasn't that the reason you didn't go to practice today?"
>"Lucy, I don't want to talk about it."
>And then, I ran away.
>That's when I knew I had to be a little more careful.
>I couldn't go around screaming at my sisters, right?
>I needed to vent out.
>Nothing like good old exercise for that.
>And so, I pedaled all the way to the park as fast as I could.
>"I needed that!" I remember saying after huffing for a little bit.
>"Don't get jealous, Lynn Loud, she's your sister, she also deserves his time."
>"Besides" I giggled while saying. "The one with the special connection with him is you, right? Not her. Let her get the scraps."

>Once my thoughts calmed themselves down, they felt like a nice breeze inside my head.
>They began to flow and I was relaxed.
>I was about to take a couple of laps around the park to enjoy the scenery but then.
>There she was.
>That stupid fart of a girl, that Ronnie Anne was playing on the swings all by herself.
>Remember what I said about the hate and the meat?
>I wanted to bite so hard.
>She had such a stupid grin on her face that I wanted to step on it.
>She was obviously thinking on my Lincoln.
>I don't know why but my legs took me towards her.
>"Hey! Lynn Loud!" She screamed.
>Her annoying voice made me cringe but I kept walking.
>"How's it going?"
>"Doing fine, all fine." I answered, trying to hide my emotions "You look awfully happy."
>"How could I not be? Today was such a great day."
>"Oh?"
>"I don't know what you guys do, but you raise a fantastic brother."
>The biting sensation slapped me at full force.
>"W-why do you say t-that." I stuttered. I could feel the anger trying to come out of my voice.
>"Why wouldn't I say that? The guy is funny, loves videogames and, don't tell him I said this, but he is kind of cute."
>I didn't answer, I was only able to look at her.
>"Hey, can you push me? I want to see how high I can get on this thing."
>It was weird, you know?
>I wanted to grab her by the neck and squeeze it.
>See her pathetic face grasp for air, her ugly eyes release tears of pain and blood coming out of her nose from how hard I was holding her.
>I and know I could do it, I am way too strong.
>But I knew that Lincoln cared for this rat.
>If there was a small chance that he would hate me just because I touched her, then I would never do it.
>Even if she deserved it.
>I knew I had to do something about it.
>But what? That was the question.
>Well, my dear friend, I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I think II came up with something pretty cool.

>"Yes, of course Ronnie. I'll push you all the way into the moon.
>"Haha, yes, that's the spirit, Lynn!"
>So I pushed again and again.
>I was trying to throw her all the way across the park but she always came back.
>Her smelly body kept going up and coming down.
>The harder I pushed, the harder it came back towards me.
>With my anger fueling my strength, I push her so hard, that I wasn't prepared for when it came back and it hit me on the stomach.
>She sent me into the floor and I felt like a boxer punched me with all of his strength.
>Trying to recover myself, Ronnie Anne ran towards me.
>"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, are you alright? I didn't want to hit you!"
>If only I wasn't paralyzed, I can assure you I would've slapped her super, super hard.
>But my eyes were not focused on her, I was looking at the swing slowly losing speed and momentum until it finally stayed still.
>"Lynn?"
>I had a revelation.
>The stronger I pushed, the harder the recoil would be towards me.
>"Yeah... I think I feel just fine now. Come on, let's keep going."
>"Are you sure? You don't look so good."
>"No, I have an idea, why don't you push me this time?"
>"Yeah, okay."
>It was a very soft swing, she was obviously trying to take care of me.
>But what if she pushed me so hard, with so much hate, that I would come back to hurt her? Just like it happened to me?
>That's when it hit me.
>I couldn't be the one to do it, she had to push me if I wanted to hurt her.
>She had to be the one to bite me with all her strength.
>It was so clear now, it all made so much sense.
>And I knew the best way to start with it.
>"I... I don't feel so good."
>"Lynn?"
>"I need to go, sorry, Ronnie."
>I got off the swing and I limped to my bike.
>I wasn't actually that hurt, but she didn't know that.
>If I wanted her away from Lincoln, I had to make her hurt me.
>I had to force her to push me so far away, that she would be digging her own tomb.

>I pedaled all the way home.
>The pain was fading away, but I had to use that to my advantage.
>When I arrived, I punched me in the guts so hard, that I fell on the ground, face first.
>Tears came out and my moans were real.
>In hindsight, I guess I could've just pretended I was hurting more than I was, but I always act before thinking first.
>Anyways, when I opened the door, Leni, who was watching TV, saw me twisting in pain.
>"Oh my gosh, Lynn, what happened?!"
>"Ronnie Anne... I was pushing her on the swings and she... she came back really hard to hit me in the guts. She did it on purpose, Leni..."
>She quickly took me by the hand and helped me to my room.
>Once we were there, I may have told her a couple of things that didn't actually happen.
>Like how she laughed after she hit me and how she walked away.
>But she believed me.
>"That girl is, like, totally not good, Lynn!"
>And so, the bait was set.
>"We- I mean, I need to tell Lincoln about this, is he home yet?"
>"No, he is still out with Luan."
>"Ok... Thank you, Leni, you are the best."
>She left a couple of tears out and hugged me.
>"Oh, I hate seeing my little sisters hurt like this. Please be a lot more careful from now on."
>After almost an hour, Lincoln arrived with Luan and Leni quickly told him what happened.
>I was so happy to hear him run upstairs to see me, but I had to contain me joy.
>Well, when I saw him, I couldn't.
>"Lincoln! Welcome back!"
>"Lynn! What happened, did Ronnie did this?"
>"Yes, Linc. She hit me in the guts with the swing on purpose."
>"I know she can be very rude, but this is too much, I need to talk to her."
>"Wait!" I said and grabbed his hand. Though I left out a small moan, I did it a little too fast.
>"No, Lincoln, I don't want you to be angry with her- ouch..."
>That's when I saw it in his eyes. A small hint of anger when he saw me in pain.
>"It's okay, Lynn, don't worry about it, alright? I got this."
>I remembering grinning at his words.
>"I trust you, then."

>I would say that it was a mistake to punch myself since it left me on my bed.
>But I didn't care about the pain because he was with me all the time.
>I grabbed his hand and didn't let go while we kept chatting, for almost hours.
>I was so happy, this was almost as good as when I was in his room a couple of hours ago.
>Almost, if only I had the strength to hug him.
>"Hey, Lynn. Let me read you one of my poems. Emotional pain will hide the physical one."
>As always, Lucy came out of nowhere.
>"Wha- Nah, don't worry about it, Lucy. With Lincoln at my side, I'll be feeling better in no time."
>She looked at me with a strange look. Even if I couldn't see her eyes, a strange sensation overtook me.
>It was the same gaze Lori gave me that morning.
>"I-I mean... It's just that, he is making me smile and stuff, you know? I d-don't think being sad would help me right now, I just need some laughter."
>"Did someone say, laughter?"
>And that's when Luan got into the room.
>"Don't worry about it, Lynn! I got just the thing to beat the pain out of your system! Haha!"
>We all looked at her without saying a thing.
>"That's a little tasteless, Luan." Lincoln said.
>"Relax, Linc, with me on her side, she will swing her mood in no time!"
>"I think you are hurting her more than I could with my poems, Luan. I'm jealous." Lucy said.
>At that moment, I could hear mom clapping her hands.
>"Alright, alright! Everybody out, you are disturbing Lynn!"
>"Alright, I'll see you later, Lynn!" Lincoln said.
>"No wait! Uh..." With nothing else to say, I sighed.
>"Okay, Linc, I hope to see you soon."
>He is such a nice brother, don't you think?
>Oh, also my sisters, they tried to make me feel better but, they aren't as good as Linc.
>No one is as good as he is.
>Well, that's what happened on that day. What a rollercoaster, right?
>But wait, that was just the first day, I can assure you, it gets better.

>On Tuesday, I went to school as normal.
>Yesterday's morning repeated itself, me chatting with Lincoln and having a blast with him.
>I was able to hug him and sat beside him during all breakfast.
>"Really, you don't need to talk to Ronnie Anne, just ignore her, Linc." I said.
>"She's my friend, Lynn. I need to straighten things up with her."
>I sighed, not wanting to make a scene like yesterday.
>"Ok, bro, as you wish."
>I gave him a small peck on his cheek.
>"L-Lynn!"
>"Aww, are you embarrassed? You're so cute, Lil' Bro!"
>"Say, you two are getting rather well as of late, don't you?" Lori suddenly said.
>Remembering yesterday's encounter with her, I avoided her gaze.
>"Yeah, I guess you could say that. What's wrong, Lori, jealous?~" Lincoln playfully said.
>But Lori didn't even answer, she stared at him with those scary eyes.
>"... sorry, Lori, I guess it wasn't a funny joke."
>"Don't worry about it, Lincoln." She answered. "Come on, why don't you give your big sister a hug?"
>I quickly looked at her, not knowing what she was planning.
>"Aww shucks, it's been a while since you gave me one. What's the ocassion?"
>"Can't a sister show some love to her favorite little brother? Come here."
>Lyncoln quickly pulled himself away from me and walked towards Lori, embracing her.
>"I am definitely the luckiest boy in the world, having so many loving sisters!"
>The rest of the girls released a super cute "Aww!" after he said that.
>But it felt like a knife stabbed me in the heart.
>He was supposed to be hugging me, not her!
>But worst of all I knew that it wasn't just a casual hug.
>She did that on purpose.
>When I looked at her face to say something, I met those eyes once again.
>They were studying me, waiting for me to say something.
>"What's wrong, Lynn?" Lori said to me. "Jealous?"
>You have no idea how much those words scared me, I actually took a step back.
>"N-no! W-why should I be? You're my sister after all! hehe..."
>"Relax, Lynn, it was just a joke." Lincoln said.
>That's when I noticed how hard I was clenching my fists in fear of Lori.

>"Come on, girls, group hug!" Lincoln finally said.
>All of our sisters quickly gathered around both of them and embraced each other.
>"What's wrong, Lynn? Get over here!" Leni said.
>Honestly, I don't know why I hesitated at first.
>But I shook those thoughts off and hurried to be part of that hug.
>Sadly, Lincoln was under too many arms, so I wasn't able to touch my Lil' bro.
>After a couple of minutes, the hug finally broke and everyone was ready to brush their teeth and get ready for school.
>I was relieved, I couldn't wait to be with Lincoln again.
>But just as I was about to hug him myself, I noticed that Lori didn't stop.
>Her long arms were still embracing him by his neck.
>"Oh? Why are you still here, Lynn? You need to get ready for school."
>"B-but... Lincoln is-"
>"What, do you need him to get ready? Does he brush your teeth or your hair?"
>"Come on, Lori, you don't need to be so mean with Lynn." Lincoln said.
>"Don't you worry about her, alright? It's been a while since I've been with my little brother like this, I kind of missed it." Lori said while rubbing his hair.
>"Hey! Stop it, I'm not a kid anymore!" Lincoln said while giggling.
>Seeing that, him so happy with someone else than me.
>I felt like my heart sank into my stomach.
>Wasn't I the one with the special connection with him?
>Yes, yes that's right! Lori said it herself, it has been a while since they were together like this.
>She lost her chance to be close with him.
>That thought calmed my mind and after a deep breath, I was able to walk up the stairs.
>But I still heard them playing downstairs, laughing.
>I remember biting my lower lip so hard that I actually split my lip.
>You know how much that hurt?
>But well, for a brief moment that gave me another thing to think besides those two.

>Once we were in Vanzilla, I was able to sit beside Lincoln.
>My mind was calm with him at my side.
>We were chatting for a while, our hands brushing against each other on the seats.
>The entire world disappeared and we were trapped in a bubble of love where nothing bad happened.
>"Wait, Lynn, hold on." He suddenly said.
>He reached my face and softly caressed my lower lip.
>"Did Ronnie Anne do this to you too? Why didn't I notice it before."
>His touch, it hypnotized me.
>I didn't want to move away from his grasp, I closed my eyes and tried to feel more of Lincoln.
>"Uh... Lynn? Are you alright?" he asked.
>"Huh?"
>"Why are you breathing so hard?"
>"Wh-what? Oh! I... uh... look! We are at school now!"
>He almost caught me sniffing his sweet hand! That would've been very embarrassing.
>The van parked beside the sidewalk and we were all dropped off.
>"Alright, Lynn, take it easy, alright?" Lincoln said.
>"Yes, anything for you, Linc!" I said as I hugged him.
>"What? No, it's more about you. You're still hurt, remember? Don't overdo it."
>"Hey you two, stop it, you'll be late for class!"
>"Sorry, Lori. Come on, Lynn, we have to go!"
>Lincoln quickly broke my hug and ran to his class.
>Just as I was about to do the same, Lori shouted my name.
>I didn't really want to talk to her.
>"Yeah? What's up, Lori?"
>"We're going to talk after classes, so if you have any plans, cancel them."
>"What? b-but-"
>"Well then, in that case, we'll do it here. What's going on between you and Lincoln?"
>That took my by surprise.
>"Don't think I didn't notice it, Lynn Jr. You've been acting quite strange around him, creepy, possessive even."
>Her judging eyes, they kept looking inside of me.
>"I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and maybe you just want to be a better sister with him. If that's the case, then tone it down. If it's something else, well..."
>"...well what..."
>"Go to your class, Lynn." Lori finally said before turning on Vanzilla and driving away.

>I would tell you more of what happened at school, but my mind is completely blank.
>I don't remember anything that happened after Lori spoke those words.
>I didn't notice I was alive until we were in Vanzilla again with Lincoln sitting beside me.
>"Can you believe that Ronnie Anne? She told me that it was an accident and that she didn't insult you! Why would she lie like that?"
>"..."
>"But she was really upset when I confronted her. Lynn, are you sure it wasn't an accident? Lynn?"
>But I didn't answer his words.
>"Hey, are you alright?"
>And then, I felt his hand holding my arm.
>His gentle and caring touch, felt like electricity slowly moving across my entire body.
>Making sure that Lori wasn't looking directly at me, I decided to grab his hand with my own.
>And it felt, amazing.
>I gently crossed my fingers with him and left our hands outside Lori's view.
>After a while, I turned to face Lincoln and I noticed that his face showed nothing but concern for me.
>I'm not sure what kind of expression he saw on me, but he immediately retracted his question.
>"I see, I'm sorry for doubting you, Lynn. Are you feeling better now? Does your stomach still hurt?"
>I just nodded for a little bit.
>Look, I wasn't lying, it still hurt when I ran or ducked, so it still counts.
>And that made him squeeze my hand.
>"I'm so sorry, Lynn. Gosh, I don't know what to do to make you feel better."
>In return, I squeezed his hand too.
>I saw it in his expression, relief.
>I didn't need to talk, that small gesture said everything we both needed.
>We kept holding hands throughout the entire trip under Lori's gaze.
>Being this close to Lincoln and the thrill of hiding our connection was intoxicating.
>That's when I finally learned that I couldn't be this close to Lincoln or my sisters would be jealous.
>Low profile, not my style but, I had to do it.

>Once we arrived home, Lincoln rubbed my head and told me everything was going to be alright.
>I hid my eyes behind my bangs and I smiled, before letting his fingers slip through my hands.
>It hurt, but it had to be done.
>We all walked into our house and nothing much happened.
>I decided to rest on the couch while we waited for lunch to be made.
>Lincoln was in his room, Lucy in ours and the rest were scattered everywhere else.
>I was feeling tired for a reason. I wasn't sweaty so I didn't play at school. Besides, the pain on my stomach wouldn't have let me do anything.
>But I couldn't keep my eyes open.
>I remember having this strange dream.
>I was walking down the street with Lincoln and we were holding hands.
>We were both happy, he was telling me how much he loved me.
>But then, the girls all appeared in front of me.
>"Hey" Lori said, "We need him to come with us."
>Before I could say anything, she punched me on the face and they threw themselves on him.
>I could see them ripping Lincoln apart like feral animals.
>I tried to scream and move, but to no avail.
>Finally, all of them except for Lori ran away on their four legs, carrying a piece of Lincoln on their mouth.
>Lori then walked towards me and said while laughing on my face "You don't mind sharing Lincoln with us, do you? We are a family after all!"
>And then, she was gone.
>That's when I was finally able to move.
>I ran across empty streets and buildings, calling for Lincoln and to forgive me for letting him go.
>I ran for weeks, months and years, but he didn't appear.
>I began questioning myself if Lincoln actually existed and if those animals that ate him alive were real.
>My stomach began to hurt, but I kept running.
>Looking for my lover.
>At one point, I wasn't able to contain my pain and I threw myself on the floor, crying and screaming my lungs out.
>When I was able to wake up, I found Lily on top of me, softly hitting my stomach with her hands.
>"Wake up, Lynn!" A voice whispered.

>It was hard to breathe with Lily on top of me.
>She may be small, but when your stomach is hurting as bad as mine, then she can be very uncomfortable.
>"Lynn!" Said the voice "It's time to eat!"
>When my mind finally adjusted itself to reality, I realized Leni was the one trying to wake me up.
>"Please take Lily off from me." I said.
>"Aww, but she wanted to play with you. Alright then, but mom is waiting for you."
>She took Lily and left me alone for a bit, giving me a little time to collect myself.
>I still had that dream fresh on my mind.
>The more I thought about it, the crazier and more senseless it actually was for me.
>My sisters as animals eating Linc? What kind of crazy thing was that?
>As I slowly got up from the couch to walk towards the dining room, I could only think how much time I wanted to spend with Lincoln.
>Lunch was uneventful and I was the first one to finish.
>"May I leave? I want to start early with my homework."
>"Sure Lynn."
>After taking the dishes to the dishwasher, I grabbed my school bag and took it upstairs to Lincoln's room.
>I know how it looks like, but his room is the best one to work on our homework.
>I'm not the only one to take it there, you know?
>Anyways, I looked through my notes to see if I'd actually written something down and thankfully, I did.
>There was nothing much to do, a couple of math exercises and read a chapter from my history book, no big deal.
>Once I finished them, I laid on the bed again.
>"I'm still a little sleepy, maybe I should take another nap."
>Just as I was about to drift off once again, I heard someone knocking on the door.
>"Hey, Lynn? I don't want to disturb you, but, are you... busy? If so I can come back later."
>That was the worst, I could feel my face go super red.
>"No! Lincoln! I was just doing my homework, I swear! Nothing bad happening in here!"
>"Oh! Ok! Can I... come in then?

>"Oh jeez, yes..."
>Lincoln walked into the room looking at his feet.
>"So, was your homework hard?"
>"Lincoln." I finally said, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards me.
>"Nothing shady happened, alright? Just myself, my books and you. Please, look me in the eye."
>"Alright alright, I won't."
>He then looked straight into my face.
>Those beautiful eyes and that innocent look.
>I couldn't get enough of it.
>He is a drug for me, I cannot live without Lincoln.
>"Promise?" I begged.
>"Yes, promise, Lynn."
>After that, I sweeped my stuff off his bed and into my backpack, closed the door, and sat besides him.
>"So, are you going to read one of your comics?"
>"Yeh, Ace Savvy is the best. Wanna see?"
>"I'd love to!" I said "Buut, I'm still a little tired. Do you mind if I take a nap on your bed?"
>"Huh? I mean, sure, you can. But I think you'd be a little bit more comfortable in your room."
>I took off my shoes, laid on the bed and put my head on his shoulder.
>"Not if we cuddle like this.~"
>He just smiled.
>"You know, Lynn. This past couple of days you've shown me a different side of you. It feels nice, I feel like we're getting closer."
>I rubbed my nose against his shoulder and curled myself against his body.
>And that's when I finally said it.
>"I love you, Lincoln."
>"I love you too, Lynn."
>He said it!
>He said he loved me!
>He said he loves Lynn!
>I could feel tears running out of my eyes, but I tried to keep them shut, I didn't want him to think I was sad.
>And then, to top it all off, he scratched my head with one of his hands.
>Oh, I was in heaven!
>It felt like I was his little kitten and he was my master.
>And he was rewarding me for being a good pet.
>... Ok, that sounded a lot creepier than I expected.
>But still it was so nice!
>It didn't take me long before I took that wonderful nap beside him.

>In my dream, I was floating in a violet sky with orange and blue clouds surrounding me.
>I was at peace, I could listen and feel a calm breathing across the entire universe.
>The leaves of the trees dancing at its pace and the clouds slowly walking to where it was pointed for them to go.
>I don't remember if I was able to move or not, I didn't really try to.
>I was at peace, so I left the rythmic wind take me towards wherever it wanted me to go.
>Despite the force of the winds, I wasn't cold, a very comfortable warmth sourrounded me.
>If the landscape wasn't so beautiful, I'm sure I would've tried to sleep once again.
>I wonder, do you think you could sleep in your own dream?
>And if you could, what would you dream in it?
>I don't really think about this kind of stuff, so I hope I don't sound stupid.
>Anyways, I do remember waking up slowly to a soft giggle.
>I didn't want to move an inch of my body so I stayed there with my eyes closed.
>There was somebody hugging me with his arm and his head was on top of mine.
>His calm breathing brought a strange joy for me.
>While listening closely, I noticed that there were two more people in the room.
>It was Luan and Leni.
>"Oh my gosh!" Leni said "Remember when we found them like this years ago?"
>"Yes! It was so adorable! I'm so glad that I recorded that one time too!"
>After a couple of minutes of their whispering, they quietly left the room and closed the door.
>After they were gone, I slowly opened my eyes and I discovered the most amazing thing in the entire world.
>Lincoln was sleeping on top of me, protecting me.
>Not trying to wake him up, I moved away so I could see his sleeping face.
>So calm.
>So cute.
>I turned towards the door but it was closed.
>And then, wait for it.
>I stole a kiss from his sleeping face!
>Even now, when I close my eyes and rub my lips, I can taste his sweetness.

>After that, well, I wasn't going to waste this opportunity.
>I carefully went back to my previous position, safe under him.
>I was completely sure that nothing could've hurt me or him in this place.
>Safe in his sanctuary, both of us embracing each other, what could pull us apart?
>What could destroy this eternal moment of happiness?
>Well, only one person was cruel enough to do that.
>Minutes after I got under his arm, the door was loudly opened.
>With heavy steps, someone got inside the room, while two other followed.
>"What are you doing?!" One of them, Luan, whispered "Just let them sleep!"
>"Please, let them be!" Leni followed.
>But this ruthless person didn't care for their pleads.
>"Hey, twerp! Wake up!"
>And just like that, Lori broke my safe space.
>She violently shook Lincoln around until he was fully awaken.
>"Wha-what?! What happened?!" He said.
>"Have you seen my phone?" She asked.
>Can you believe that Lori? She woke up Lincoln from his deep slumber, just to ask about her stupid phone! Or at least, that's what she said.
>"Your- your phone? No, I haven't seen it." Lincoln answered, still trying to understand what was going on.
>"Oh. Well, come, help me find it."
>Lori grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him out of the room.
>By then, I already opened my eyes and was about to say something, but Leni spoke first.
>"I can't believe it! You are such a jerk!"
>"Yeah, how could you wake them up like that? I can't believe you, Lori!" Luan followed.
>"Are you going to help me find my phone, yes or no?"
>Lori's words clearly offended my two sisters, who didn't even answer back and instead walked to their rooms.
>"Oh come on, Lori, I was sleeping." Lincoln protested.
>"You will have a lot more time to sleep at night, now help me find it."
>Just as they walked downstairs, I saw Lori glare at me from the corner of her eye.
>And for the first time in my life, I glared back at her.
>She ruined everything.

>I was really, really angry.
>Like, you had no idea.
>I wanted to follow Lori and scream right on her face.
>But I didn't want Lincoln to be in the middle of that.
>So the only thing I did was squeeze my fists as hard as I could and scream on Lincoln's pillow.
>After a couple of seconds, his scent calmed me down.
>I wasn't furious anymore, but I was still pretty mad.
>Still, his scent, it was so sweet and just like that time I had my fun with his shirt, his smell made my head spin with pleasure.
>I needed more.
>So, I looked on his basket for some of his used clothes and grabbed another shirt.
>But just as I was about to leave, a red spot called my attention.
>My lower lip trembled and my hands were shaking with fear and excitement.
>His victory undies.
>I didn't even think about it, my body acted on its own.
>So I grabbed these two pieces and ran into the bathroom, making sure I locked myself in.
>I was breathing heavily and not because I ran, you know I would never get tired this easily.
>But I couldn't control my breathing.
>I slowly looked at the used red fabric and admired it.
>I could sense the smallest faint on Lincoln in those.
>I was excited, I needed to do this.
>And without a second thought, I slammed them against my face.
>It didn't matter that I hit my nose and it hurt me for the next couple of minutes.
>The moment I breathe through his undies, I felt my entire body tensing and then going weak.
>This is embarrassing to say, but after doing that, it felt like I peed myself.
>I quickly took a look but, nah, it wasn't pee, it was something else, something that felt really good.
>That gave me an idea, a very naughty idea.
>I took off my shorts and undies and after making sure that the door was lock and there were no one in the vents, I put his victory undies on.
>No wonder he like them so much, they are very comfortable.
>But besides that, wearing something so personal, so close to him, was a fantastic sensation.

>But I needed more.
>I quickly took off my shirt and my training bra and put on his shirt.
>And then, feeling my body weak, I decided to sit on the toilet.
>I could feel every single fiber of his used clothes touching my skin.
>His scent was invading both my senses of smell and taste.
>I threw my head backwards and closed my eyes, trying to savor this moment.
>Without touching myself, I felt the undies getting wetter every second and my legs twisting with pleasure.
>But I needed more.
>I pulled his shirt up to my nose and took a massive breath.
>It felt like my brain was breaking down while my senses exploded.
>That's when I came hard, really hard.
>Like never before.
>It lasted for several seconds, my whole body tensing to the point that I had cramps on my legs, but I didn't care.
>I won't lie, the next couple of minutes are a little fuzzy in my mind.
>The only thing I remember is sitting on the toilet, his shirt covering my nose, my arms hanging dead while I was looking at the ceiling.
>"Lincoln..."
>"Lincoln..."
>That's the only thing coming out of my mouth if I recall correctly.
>Crazy, am I right?
>I guess, when I lose myself I really, really lose myself.
>However, once I fully recovered my senses I was filled with guilt.
>Small tears began to form in my eyes and I quickly threw the shirt on the floor.
>"Oh god, what am I doing."
>I grabbed my face with both of my hands and tried to cover my sobbing.
>"I'm... I'm sorry, Lincoln. I'm sorry for being this messed up."
>I always knew it, you know? How fucked up my feelings were.
>Until that point, they felt right, pure.
>Yet, after this demonstration, after how much I enjoyed doing something like this.
>Just because I needed to vent myself when he was taken away from my grasp for a couple of minutes.
>I finally saw how sick I was.
>But I couldn't help it.
>I can't help it.
>I love Lincoln more than anything in this world.
>I need him.
>I can't live without him, I would rather die than lose him or have him taken away from me.

>I kept staring at the ceiling for a couple of minutes.
>I was tired of being in this position, so I slowly stood up and decided to take off his underwear.
>When I brushed the fabric with my finger, I noticed how moist his undies were.
>It was like I threw them on the bathtub by accident and have been wearing them after that.
>I took them off and quickly put the rest of my clothes on.
>When I finally came out of the door, I decided to hid his clothes in my room until they were... you know... dry.
>Quickly looking through the hallway to see if any of my sisters was around, I ran to my room when I got sure the coast was clear.
>I threw his clothes under my bed and sat on it.
>After calming myself, I realized that I haven't exercised for a while.
>That's when I took out my dumbbells and began working out.
>After a while, I felt the pain on my stomach returning.
>I was so tired of it, I didn't want to bear with it anymore.
>After finishing one of my series, I walked back into the bathroom and looked at my stomach in front of the mirror.
>"Ouch, that looks really bad."
>Up until that point I didn't pay attention to my injure, but while looking at it, I realized how disgusting it was.
>It was a gigantic bruise caused by Ronnie Anne's hit.
>And a smaller part of it was even blacker, with the outline of my own fist.
>"Ugh, why did I hit myself! I was so stupid!" I remember saying out loud.
>"Hit yourself?"
>Lucy.
>I didn't jump or was even surprised by those words.
>I remember slowly closing my eyes and deeply exhaled when I heard her voice.
>She was in the bathtub.
>"What do you mean by that, Lynn?"
>I didn't answer immediately.
>While I tried to not get angry for being spied on, I came up with an idea.
>"On school, I accidentaly punched the tetherball way too hard and it punched me right in the gut."
>"Oh, I see." Lucy said. "You should be a lot more careful, you've been hurting yourself a lot recently."

>I was so glad she believed me.
>"By the way, Lucy. Do you know where Lincoln is?"
>"Lincoln? After Lori forced him to look for her cell phone for five minutes, she finally let him go after she remembered she left it on her bed."
>"I see. Is he back in his room?"
>"Yes, but I think he is talking with Clyde right now."
>Dissapointed, I decided to go back to my room to keep on with my routine.
>"Oh, Lucy. You should lock the door even if you're not using the toilet. What if someone got in and used it while you were hidden in there?"
>"It has happened before, I'm used to it."
>Trust me when I say this, diary. I love my sister, but she can be super creepy at times.
>Anyways, when I was done with the dumbbells, our mother called us downstairs to for dinner.
>I thought it would be nice for me to wait for Lincoln outside his door, but when I saw all of our sisters walk down the hallway, I remembered what I said to myself.
>"Low profile, Lynn, remember."
>So I took a deep breath and forced myself to walk down the stairs.
>When I sat down on the table, I realized that there was another seat beside me.
>It took me a while to realize what that meant.
>"Wait, mom?" I asked. "Is Lincoln sitting with us today?"
>"Yeah." She said. "I think it's time for him to sit with us again."
>I felt a grin drawing on my face until I noticed Lori walking out of the kitchen.
>I decided to ignore her and focus on something else.
>Once everything was served and Lincoln sat with us, I tried my hardest to first focus on my food and then try to be part of the conversation.
>That's when I noticed how fast I ate.
>"Wow, Lynn. Were you that hungry? You left your plate clean!" Dad said.
>"Oh! Yeah, I've been super tired and super hungry for a while."
>"Well, why don't you sit with us for a little bit? Let's chat while the rest finish."
>I was feeling uncomfortable, I didn't want to be in the same room with Lincoln AND Lori.

>"Oh, by the way, honey, should we tell them about the think Luan showed us?"
>Both Luan and Leni, who were still angry with Lori, looked at each other with a smile on their face.
>Mom giggled and looked at us with a very heartwarming smile.
>"Oh, I don't know. Should we?"
>"What are you talking about?" Lincoln said.
>"My adorable little man. You are growing so fast, but you are still so adorable." She said in a very infantile tone.
>"Come on, mom, don't embarrass me!"
>"But Linc, you are so cute!" Leni said.
>"You are definitely the little man of this house! Haha!"
>Lincoln cringed a little bit, shrinking on his chair.
>I could hear him mumble while he was blushing "I don't know why I came here if they still treat me like a child."
>"Hey, chill." I finally said "You will always be our little brother! And I'll always love you, Linc."
>"Yeah, Lynn is right, you may be an adult someday, but you'll still be our little guy, bro!" Luna continued.
>He crossed his arms in front of him, but we all could see a hidden smile on his lips.
>"Look at him, look at him! He wants to crack a smile!" Luan screamed.
>"Oh jeez, stop it guys!" Lincoln said while hiding his face on his arms. "Please, stop embarrassing me!"
>"Aww!" We all said.
>When I looked at the rest of the table, the only one that wasn't even showing any kind of emotion was Lori.
>Of course, it had to be her.
>"Say, do you guys think he is ready?" She finally said, cutting in the middle of our good time. "Look at him, he is still a kid."
>"Again, Lori? Seriously? Why do you have to be such a party pooper!" Luan said with a frown on her face.
>"Oh, don't get me wrong!" Lori answered. "You know I love Lincoln."
>She stood up and walked towards him.
>That's when I felt her hit me with her elbow as she walked behind me.
>However, no one noticed it.
>"It's just that he is so adorable! Aren't you still my baby brother?"
>She then hugged him just like she did this morning.
>Looking at me from the corner of her eye.

>"Hey, Lynn." She finally said. "Do you mind if I sit beside Lincoln while I finish the rest of my dinner?"
>"Wha-"
>"It's just that, I've been thinking about how I haven't been a good sister recently and I want to change that. Please?"
>I look at my parents and at my sisters.
>"Come on, Lynn, just this once, alright, honey?" Mom said.
>I gulped and took my dishes back to the kitchen to make space for Lori.
>Before I came back, I felt the atmosphere of the dining room get a lot happier.
>Lori began to laugh just as we were doing it before.
>She cracked a couple of jokes and everybody else was laughing too.
>I don't know why, but I stayed for a little longer on the kitchen, to see if someone would remember me.
>But they were too occupied laughing at Lori.
>At that moment, I felt a very familiar sensation.
>A painful burnt inside of me the moment I thought of Lori.
>When I realized what I was feeling, I quickly shook that sensation and, without them noticing me, I walked upstairs and hid myself in my room.
>"W-What was that?!"
>"No! I- Not for her! It was just... I'm just angry at her, nothing else!"
>You probably know what I'm talking about, diary, so I won't repeat it.
>I still feel bad about it, for feeling that way.
>But she kept getting in between Lincoln and me and she hit me on the back of my head on purpose!
>I remember sitting on my bed while I hugged my legs.
>I closed my eyes so that I could shut myself away from the world.
>And then, I heard a knock on the door.
>I didn't answer but they open the door anyways.
>"Lynn?" The voice said.
>"...what do you want?"
>"Lynn..." I heard from the doorframe as the door was closed, then felt the weight of someone sitting beside me.
>"Look, we need to talk." Lori finally said.
>"Talk about what, how you want to push Lincoln away from me?" I said, without even thinking on what I said.
>I could see Lori sighing, trying to not get angry.
>"This is exactly what we need to talk about, sister to sister."

>"There is nothing we have to talk about."
>"Yes we do, Lynn. Look, Lincoln is an amazing brother. I mean, sure, he always messes up big time, but he always finds a way to fix it. And when he doesn't, he's always trying to be the best brother he can be."
>I smiled thinking on all the times he was there for me.
>"That's why I need you to tell me this, Lynn. Do you..."
>I could hear her struggling to speak what was in her mind.
>After taking a deep breath, she continued.
>"Do you have a crush on Lincoln?"
>I didn't move.
>I didn't breathe.
>I just closed my eyes and tried to ignore how much those words hurt me.
>"I know, you probably hate me for even bringing this up. You're probably feeling disgusting by what I just said but, if there is one small chance that it is true, I need you to tell me."
>"...If...if that was the case, then what would you do?"
>I felt Lori's hand resting on my shoulder.
>"I... don't know. But if it is the case, it can't go on. You know very well that you shouldn't... oh what am I saying? Lynn, just answer the question. I don't care if I end up looking like the biggest fool ever, but please tell me, I need to know."
>"No, I don't have a crush on my brother. That's disgusting."
>When I opened my eyes and looked at Lori, I could almost feel a weight being taken off her shoulders.
>"Alright, in that case, I'm sorry for being so mean to you and suspecting something so horrible was going on. Can you forgive me?"
>I nodded.
>Lori got close to me so that she could give me a hug and whispered. "You know I love you, Lynn, I love you all the same."
>She stood up and walked outside the room.
>"Do you want me to close the door?"
>"Yes, please. I want to go to sleep."
>Lori nodded and closed it down.
>I felt relieved, she wasn't going to be an obstacle anymore.
>I grin and, feeling tears bottle in my throat, I whispered to myself.
>"But it's ok, because I'm also disgusting, Lori."

>Dang it, I really brought the mood down, didn't I?
>I'm sorry, diary, but for the rest of the week, everything went great.
>For starters, Lori stopped getting in my way whenever I was with Lincoln.
>No more pulling him away from me, storming into the room while the door was closed or hitting me.
>Next, Lincoln was still angry with Ronnie Anne for what she did to me.
>But to top it all off, Lincoln was almost all the time with me.
>If I could tell you every single thing that happened in that week.
>But I would never finish!
>However, you have to trust me, it was magical.
>Once we woke up, we would talk about everything and nothing in the line to the bathroom.
>Then, I would wait for him outside his door for him to come out and then we would go downstairs to eat breakfast.
>After brushing our teeth, we would sat beside each other in Vanzilla until we arrived at school.
>At first, I would count every single minute for the bell to ring so I could meet with Lincoln once again but, I realized I wasn't paying attention to my classes and I didn't want to fail.
>It was so hard! I never understood why Lori always drew stupid hearts on her notes, but after Lincoln stole my heart, it feels super nice.
>Hehe, you may have noticed that you are also covered in them, right?
>I tried to control myself, but my hand doodled by itself.
>But I came with a set of rules that are super handy.
>No hearts or doodles, unless I finish all my exercises first.
>Well, I don't want to brag but, I became a better student because of that.
>Thanks to Lincoln.
>Once classes were finally done, I ran to the van and waited for everyone else to come back.
>"Don't you have practice today?" Lori asked.
>"Oh, yeah but... my stomach still hurts a little bit." I mean this part was true.
>But I really wanted to see Lincoln.
>I just wish Lincoln wouldn't walk home, it's a ride that could be a lot funner if he was with me.

>Sadly I had to go back to practice after that day.
>I need to be strong and athletic for him, to protect my little brother.
>Anyways, once we arrived, every single time I ran up to his room and wait for him.
>So that no one in the house suspected about me, I always did my homework in it.
>No need to brag again but I do it super fast.
>I don't want to waste precious time I can use to be with Lincoln.
>Finally, the moment I waited for several hours, him opening the door to greet me.
>The first couple of times he was surprised to see me, but then he got used to seeing me there.
>I always ran and hugged him really tight.
>I needed his essence, it gave me life.
>For the rest of the days, I crashed his room, only coming out to eat or letting him work on his homework.
>I mean, sure, I didn't talk with him all that time.
>Whenever he needed to read his comics or played his video games, I would sit on the floor waiting for him to finish in complete silence.
>I didn't want to disturb him, you know?
>That would've been rude.
>Every now and then I would sit beside him trying to read one of his comics.
>I can't believe how much I want to be with him.
>The closer I was to him, the more I wanted.
>Sitting beside him, I embraced his shoulders or sometimes from behind, trying to close myself to him.
>"Oh, Lynn!" He would say "Interested in my comic?"
>"Mhm~"
>"You know, I can share the first volumes of Ace Savvy to you if you want to get into it."
>"Nah, don't worry about it."
>And that would kill the conversation for both of us to enjoy the embrace.
>I had to leave his room an hour before dinner was ready because I had to take a small jog across the neighborhood.
>It pained my heart to leave him there, but I had to do it, for Lincoln.
>But I also needed to do it for me, a great exercise makes me think clearer.

>Once I'm done, I get back into the house, take a shower and get ready for dinner.
>By that point I'm starving, I could eat a whole cow by myself.
>Once dinner is served, I take as long as Lincoln to eat it.
>Since that awkward encounter with Lori, dinner has been a lot tamer, funner.
>In the end, after we take our dishes to the sink, we go back to his room and spend the rest of the day inside until we go back to sleep.
>However, a couple of times I did ask Linc if I could sleep with him.
>"Are you angry with Lucy again?"
>"What? No! Of course not! It's just that, I watched a horror movie and between you and me, I don't want our little sister to think I'm a coward. Please Lincoln, please?"
>"Oh alright."
>And that's how we would spend the night.
>You see, diary, those were great nights because I always waited for him to sleep.
>Once I was sure he was completely out, I carefully grabbed Bunbun from his hands and with the mastery only a ninja could have I covered myself with his arms.
>Those were the best nights I ever had.
>With us, embracing each other in a pure and magical bubble.
>The silence of the night, its darkness, and his slow breathing captured me.
>I know I shouldn't do it, but I liked to spend an entire hour without sleeping, only feeling him.
>Just the two of us, alone in the entire world.
>I smelled his hair and brushed his back with the tip of my fingers, feeling his every muscle and bone.
>"If only he knew." I thought over and over again.
>"If only he was awake and spoiled me rotten just as much as I do."
>Little by little, I felt my eyelids feel heavier by the minute.
>As much as I wanted to stay like this for the entire night, I wasn't capable of doing so.
>So, with just a couple of seconds left before I fell asleep, I gave him one kiss on his lips.
>"I wish I could see your reaction when you wake up." I remember being my last thought before I finally slept.

>That first night I spent with him, when I woke up, Lincoln was nowhere to be found.
>I looked at his clock and it was T- 5 before the alarm rang.
>I slowly walked out of the bed and took a peek into the hallway.
>"Maybe he is sleeping in the bathtub? Jeez, I better apologize to him."
>Just as I was about to walk to the bathroom, I heard a noise coming from the kitchen.
>Walking down the stairs, I saw him cooking something.
>"Linc? What are you doing?"
>"Hey Lynn! I'm just trying to do something nice for everybody, you know? So I got super early to make pancakes for everyone."
>"Wow, thanks a lot!"
>"You're welcome."
>I walked towards him and hugged him from behind.
>"You're one of a kind, Linc." I whispered in his ear.
>"T-thanks, Lynn. You've been a little too huggy as of late, haven't you?"
>"Oh? What do you mean?"
>"Well... No, nevermind. Since you are here, can you help me and prepare some coffee?"
>"Sure!" I said while pecking him on the cheek.
>After a couple of minutes, of us in the kitchen, I let my imagination fly.
>Both of us alone in the kitchen, working on our breakfast.
>It was like we were a couple waking up from a happy night.
>And well, who says we aren't?
>We spent the night together, hugging each other!
>Awesome, right?
>At that time I wondered if I should tell him about what was in my heart.
>What I felt when I was near him.
>"Hey, Lincoln..."
>"Yes?"
>"You know... I-I have to..."
>But as words left my mouth, fear overcame me.
>What if, what if he hated me after that?
>What if I lost him?
>What if he thinks I'm filthy?
>What if he hates me?
>I felt my legs tremble and my heart pump faster by every second.
>"I-I... I have to go to the bathroom!"
>And I dashed upstairs.
>I closed the door behind me and went to the toilet.
>I kneeled in front of it and threw up.
>Even now, I cannot think of a time I was this scared, ever.

>After a couple of minutes, I was able to breathe normally.
>I stood up and walked towards the mirror to look at myself.
>Wow."
>I was even paler than Lucy.
>And she uses talcum powder on her skin.
>The best thing to do was to brush my teeth and cover my breath.
>The last thing I wanted was for Lincoln to be worried about me.
>"Lynn? Are you alright?"
>"Dang it, I thought." He was outside the door.
>"I heard you throwing up. Is everything alright?"
>"Yes, Lincoln everything is fine. I guess something I ate yesterday made me a little sick. Maybe..."
>"If you want, I'll tell mom and dad that you can't go to school today."
>"No, it's fine! Really! I just need to rest for a bit. Alright?"
>I could hear him sighing.
>"Ok then. Don't overdo it, Lynn."
>"Promise, Lincoln. I'll be downstairs in a bit, alright?"
>I could hear his steps slowly going to the kitchen.
>I turned back to the mirror and waited for my face to get a little bit colorful once more.
>That's when I decided to not tell him about what I felt.
>At least not yet, I need to prepare my heart and I need to be sure he wouldn't run away from me.
>That thought of him leaving me? Never again.
>Eventually, I was able to walk out of the door, but instead of going downstairs, I decided to take a quick bath.
>Hey, it's not always when I can be the first one in line, right?
>After that, life went back to normal.
>Everyone else woke up and the noise came back to the Loud house.
>Lincoln received everyone with some pancakes and they were ecstatic.
>Especially Lana and Lola, they were very happy to eat them.
>That's when it caught my attention, I didn't realize how good Lincoln was with children.
>He was so thoughtful with them, playing and paying attention to them.
>I bet he would be a great father one day.
>A father.
>I wonder if I could ever be a good mother.
>Well, I mean, he could always teach me how to be half as good as he is.

>That's when I heard someone saying from behind.
>"Earth to Lynn, are you ok?"
>Luna began to shake my shoulder.
>"Hey, sis, sis, sis."
>"Ok, Luna, I heard you! What's up?"
>"Are you going to eat those pancakes?"
>"Wha- Of course I'm going to eat them! Lincoln made them for me with so much love!"
>"Well then, hurry up, everyone is done with theirs and you have barely touched them, sis."
>That's when I noticed only Luna, Lincoln and myself where on the table.
>"Lynn, are you still feeling sick?"
>Oh, his worried face is so cute.
>"No! I mean, it's alright, I'll eat them now."
>"Can I have a bite?" Luna said.
>I was about to get angry but, seeing Lincoln in there, I decided to calm down.
>"Ugh, alright. Have one of them."
>"Awesome! You rock, sis!"
>I regret giving her that pancake, they were actually good.
>I wish I could have Lincoln cook for me every single day.
>That's pretty romantic, right?
>Me, getting home from practice and Lincoln already cooked everything for us.
>We would talk about our days.
>Our fingers would entangle as our eyes stuck together.
>The food would go cold because we would be so busy with each other.
>And when we finally notice, the lights in the sky would have died out.
>"Guess, it's time to take a bath, huh?" I'd say.
>"Yeah. I haven't take one either so... Maybe we can share?" He would answer, squeezing my hand.
>I would smile, nod and we would walk together to the bathtub, hugging each other.
>Oh, yes.
>Wait, I got lost a little bit back there.
>Anyways, not much happened after that.
>The same old routine, we got into Vanzilla, Lori drove us to school, I stayed for soccer practice and then I crashed Linc's room.
>That was pretty much what happened these past two weeks.
>I can feel it, diary.
>The bond I built with Lincoln is slowly getting stronger.
>However, yesterday, that disgusting rat came back to his life.

>Last night, I was with Lincoln in his room, talking him into trying to practice soccer.
>"I don't know, Lynn."
>"Come on, Linc, it's the easiest and cheapest sport in the world! You only need one ball, another person and you are good to go! I can help you practice."
>When mom called him downstairs.
>"I'll be right back, Lynn."
>So I waited.
>And waited.
>And waited.
>I didn't like it, there was something strange, something scary about this silence.
>When suddenly, he appeared on the door.
>"Hey, guess what, Lynn!" He said, with an enormous smile on his face.
>And behind him, there she was.
>Looking at the floor, like the roach she was.
>"R-Ronnie?! W-what are you doing here?"
>"Relax, Lynn. She has something to say to you."
>She slowly walked towards me and muttered a couple of words.
>"I'm... I'm sorry, Lynn, if I hurt you. If I said something that angered you after I hit you, please forgive me. I know I can be stupid and rude but, I really, really didn't mean to harm you. And-"
>"No. I don't want you to be here."
>"What? But..."
>"No! My stomach hurt for days after you hit me, I won't forgive you!"
>"Lynn." Lincoln said while gently stroking my arm. "Please, Lynn. I know Ronnie Anne, trust me, when she says she is sorry, she truly means it. Forgive her already, I'm sure she regrets it as much as she says."
>I looked at Lincoln.
>How can he do this? How can she forgive her for what she did to me?
>I thought that he cared for me.
>I thought that we had something special.
>And then, he brought her in here?
>In front of me?
>But.
>But Lincoln is Lincoln and I love him.
>I looked at him with tears forming in my eyes and then at that horrible rat.
>I just nodded.
>Her ugly face showed a small smile.
>"Thank you, lynn! I promise I'll always be good with you and Lincoln!"
>Hearing her say his name made me want to gag.
>I didn't want to be in that room so I excused me and walked towards the bathroom.

>Once I got out of the bathroom, I saw the door close.
>They pushed me away, like if I was nothing.
>A piece of a dirty napkin.
>That made me bit my lip so hard that it bled again.
>Just like that one time.
>I got into my room and ordered Lucy to get into the vents.
>"You don't have to order me, I was going to do it anyways."
>And I laid on my bed without saying a single word.
>I could hear them.
>Their giggle.
>Their awkward silences.
>Their whispering.
>Every single sound coming out of her nasty mouth.
>Poisoning his ears.
>Little by little chewing into his heart.
>Charming him with her vulgar moves.
>I felt like a caged animal.
>I could hear her words, but I could not see what she was doing.
>Where she was holding him.
>What she was planning to do.
>Soil my precious Linc.
>It felt like I was defeated.
>Like, if they beat me up, chained me and forced me to look at them kiss each other.
>I was desperate, I wanted to scream and run away.
>But I needed to be sure that nothing happened, that she didn't do anything to him.
>The hate feeling returned once again.
>And it burnt me so much.
>I wanted to get in that room and bite her, bite that piece of flesh and rip it apart.
>But I knew better.
>I knew that sometimes, you had to be on the offensive and other times on the defensive.
>That's when I realized something.
>I didn't make her push me with enough strength.
>I knew what I had to do.
>I walked out of my room and knocked on his room.
>"Hey, Lynn! What's wrong? I thought you were never coming back!"
>"Hi. Say, do you guys want to go to the park tomorrow?"
>Both said yes.
>Now, diary, we're about to go to the park in 20 minutes.
>Here goes nothing, either she pushes me so hard that she makes me fly off the swing, or she's the one that bites me so hard, that she won't be able to recover, ever.
>Wish me luck.

>Hey.
>It's been a while.
>Three days, right?
>Sorry if I wasn't able to talk to you in a while.
>But I did it.
>She pushed it too far.
>I made her bite me and rip me apart.
>But Lincoln is mine now.
>I won this game and this tourney.
>She won't bother Lincoln or me ever again.
>Still, my everything hurts.
>It's been hurting ever since.
>Hehe, I suppose you want to know what happened, right?
>Well, I have all the time in the world right now so, you just have to wait.
>You see, after we left our home to go to meet that Rat at the park, things ran as smooth as they could.
>"Hey, Lincoln." I said, "Since you can sit at the grownups table, I bet you feel like you're an adult, right?"
>"Yep! I'm mature enough!"
>"Oh? Mature enough to hold your sister from her hand?"
>So that's what I did! I held his hand!
>He was so adorable, I could see him getting super red.
>"Lynn! I'm not a kid, anymore!"
>"Aww what's wrong? Don't you love your big sister?"
>"Of course I love you, Lynn! But, this is embarrassing!"
>He said it again.
>I smile every time I remember all the times he said he loved me.
>"Come on, Linc. Just for this time, please?"
>I tried to put on some big puppy eyes while begging him. And it worked!
>"A-alright! Don't look at me like that, though."
>I was so happy, that I pulled his arm all the way against mine.
>Our shoulders were rubbing with each other with how close they were.
>We looked like an actual couple, hehe.
>I bet he thought the same because I could see him blush so hard that he didn't even look at me in the eyes.
>"What's wrong, Linc?"
>"N-nothing... Don't worry about it."
>That's when I decided to give him a little surprise.
>A small peck on his cheek!
>"That's for being the best brother a girl could ever ask!"

>This time, his embarrassment was replaced by a warm smile.
>"Thank you, Lynn. You're also the best."
>I giggled and I rested my head on his shoulder.
>The only thing I wanted to do was to enjoy the walk with him.
>We never do this, we always spend our time in his room or in Vanzilla, never taking these nice little walks.
>Especially on that day, it was a beautiful morning.
>I really wanted him to take me somewhere else.
>But I had to take care of a pest first.
>We finally arrived at the park and we saw that girl waiting for us.
>"Hey! Lincoln, Lynn! I'm over... here..."
>"Hey, Ronnie Anne! What's up?"
>She tried her hardest not to look at our entangled fingers, but I noticed it in her gaze.
>A small hint of confusion and jealousy.
>"Wha- I mean, nothing much... So, Lynn, you said you wanted to practice something with us?"
>"Yeah, that's right." I breathed, trying to control my emotions. "I just thought that we could race a couple of times on this long trail. You and me, while Lincoln was the judge."
>"Huh... Alright, sure."
>"Ok, Lincoln, we'll start on this rock and the ending line will be that tree, alright?"
>"Yeah, got it. I'll be waiting for you on that line."
>"Awesome, are you ready, Ronnie Anne?"
>She stared at us.
>"Yeah, always but... are you going to race holding his hand?"
>Lincoln looked at his hand and quickly pulled it away.
>"Haha, whoops." He said, walking towards the finish line.
>As we got ready, I still remember the last words she said to me before the race started.
>"There's something going on, between you and Lincoln, isn't it?"
>That's when Lincoln shouted from the top of his lungs "GO!".
>And I sprinted.
>Never before have I ran this fast.
>I could feel it, I was ahead by a big margin when I arrived at the finish line.
>"That was incredible, Lynn!" Lincoln said.
>When she heard him say that once she crossed the line, she said with fury in her voice.
>"Again."

>And I raced her again and again.
>Sometimes she was able to get a bit closer to me.
>Other times, she ate my dust.
>But she never stood a chance.
>She was always behind me.
>"Wow, you girls are amazing! Man, I'm embarrassed when I think about it, you are so fit."
>"Linc." I said in the middle of my huffing ."You can train with me whenever you want. Do you want to be the best? You gotta train with the best."
>I looked at her from the corner of my eye.
>That hurt her, and she knew I did it on purpose.
>"Still, you've been running for who knows how long, you better take a rest."
>"Lincoln." The Rat finally said. "Would you bring us a water bottle?"
>"Sure! I'll be right back."
>And then, we were only two.
>This was it, it was all or nothing.
>"Ok, Lynn, what the hell is your problem?" She finally said.
>"My problem? I don't know what you're talking about. I want Linc to be second to none."
>"Don't give me that crap, you know exactly what I'm talking about! Holding hands with him? Passive aggressive insults? Are you trying to be your sister Lori, or what?"
>"Are you insulting my family now?!"
>"No! Ok, listen. I don't know why you told Lincoln that I hit and insulted you, but now I can see you have something against me. What is your problem?"
>That was the cue.
>Diary, I want you to listen carefully, I didn't mean what I said and I will never mean it, but I did what had to be done.
>Even if it hurt me while I did it.
>"My problem? Well, maybe I don't want Linc to waste his time with a failure like you!"
>She froze in her place.
>I could notice that she didn't quite process what I just said.
>But I had to keep going.
>"That's right! You better leave us alone! Did you actually think that Lincoln could actually like you? Just look at your brother, he can't even keep one job! if he's such a failure, then what can I expect from you-"
>And then, my chin hurt.

>It was a strange pain similar to that of a baseball, it wasn't from a punch.
>Just as I was about to hold my chin, I felt her tackling me into the ground.
>And then I felt another pain in my eye, this time I was sure it came from her fist.
>Without thinking about it, I hugged myself on the ground.
>I wasn't quite sure what just happened, but that first pain didn't leave.
>That's when she pushed my face into the ground with all of her strength and saw a bloody rock beside me.
>"You like that?! Apologize for what you said about Roberto!"
>It was hard to breathe, my nose holes and mouth were being filled with dirt.
>"Why! Why did you say all that! I thought you were a nice girl, but... BUT!"
>She then began to pull my hair with one of her hands.
>"Why don't you call me a failure again! Come on! Do it! I dare you!"
>She was crying.
>"Apologize! Now!"
>I felt bad for her, no one deserved to be treated like that.
>I would've done the same if someone insulted any of my sisters.
>But, but this was for Lincoln and me.
>I turned around to face her face, tears running down her cheeks.
>I whispered strong enough for her to hear my words. "... you two will always be failures..."
>I could see the anger on her face after I said that.
>No, not the anger.
>The same burnt I felt for her, I saw it on her face.
>That's when she began to slam my head on the ground.
>I tried to protect myself, but she lost any sense of reason.
>I wasn't able to breathe, she was kneeling on my stomach.
>"Say I'm sorry! SAY I'M SORRY!"
>Even if I wanted to apologize for every single word I said, I wasn't able to.
>At one point, her voice became muffled and I could only hear a buzz in my ears.
>I saw her mouth move but I couldn't understand her words.
>I also couldn't feel my head hitting the dirt anymore.
>I thought I was about to die.
>That's when I saw someone push her away.

>I don't remember much from that point onwards.
>I was on the floor, looking at the sky and two blurry figures were moving back and forward and I could just listen to their muffled voices.
>In this strange quietness, many things crossed my mind.
>Was this a good idea? Did I go overboard?
>When I invited them to the park three days ago, I knew I had to hurt her.
>But how? What could be the worse thing to use against her?
>And then, her brother came into my head.
>I didn't want to use that, even if I dislike the Rat as much as I do, that was a line I didn't want to cross.
>But then, I remembered how happy Lincoln was with her.
>How they laughed together and how much they enjoyed each other's company.
>Their joy was, painful.
>She was going to take Lincoln away from me, I had no choice and you know that!
>I told you, I'd rather kill myself than lose him, so there was nothing else I could do!
>It was the only way! Hurting where it hurt her the most!
>But, even now.
>Even after she beat me into a pulp.
>I, I regret saying those words.
>I hate Ronnie Anne, I hate that she was able to earn his heart by just being her.
>I hate how easy it was for her to win it.
>She was always the victor and, well, I had to play dirty.
>I know what I did, I know that I cheated.
>I hurt her with the most painful words someone could spout at her.
>They never felt right, not before, not during or after I said them.
>But they were necessary for Linc to be with me!
>Or at least, to keep her away from him.
>Isn't that what a true winner does? Do everything to achieve their prize?
>If that's the case then, why does it hurt so much.
>I hate her, and yet I hate myself for hurting her like this.
>I suppose I deserve this pain I feel inside of me.
>I need to carry this inside of me if I want to be worthy of his love.

>I'm sorry, I don't feel like talking to you right now, I'll tell you what happened after that later.

>Hey, hello again.
>It seems like a long time has gone by, but only a week has passed.
>I guess you deserve an explanation, right?
>Other than me being such a dum dum.
>Well, since Ronnie Anne beat me up, I wasn't able to walk for long periods of time.
>I was pretty much tied to the bed.
>It was pretty frustrating, you know? Lynn Loud not being able to move around.
>Well, it wasn't that bad, most of the girls were here with me.
>And Lincoln, he was the one who spent the most with me.
>Holding my hand, caressing my hair pecking my cheek.
>I always asked him to stay with me for five more minutes and he stayed ten.
>But, I kept seeing this sadness on his face ever since.
>He was devastated by what happened for, from what I get, multiple reasons.
>But I always tried to make him feel better.
>And whenever I was able to make him smile, I too smiled.
>I just want to fill the hole he has in his heart.
>Other than that, on the first day after the beat up some things did happen.
>From what I was told, Lincoln called our parents and they had to take me to the hospital.
>In the end, there wasn't anything too wrong with me that I had to stay there, thank goodness.
>And they decided not to press charges against her.
>Guess they're the nicest parents ever.
>Since then, I've been here in this room.
>The only one that hasn't been around well, I suppose it's not that hard to guess which one of them is.
>Lori didn't even look at me in the face on those first days.
>If I knew that things would get worse with her, I would've rather her never see me again.
>I actually need to tell you something.
>It happened a two days later after the last time I wrote on you.
>I was still hurting from the bruises when Lori got into the room without knocking and found me sitting on my bed.
>And she looked at me with the same scary eyes from before.

>She closed the door and she slowly walked towards me, still looking at me.
>"L-Lori?" I remember whispering.
>But she didn't answer.
>She looked at me and I could feel something in her eyes.
>She was disgusted.
>Before I noticed it, she quickly put a towel in my mouth and she held it there.
>"Ok, so, I think we got two things clear." Lori said. "One, I got you right where I want to and two, I know what you did. So you better start talking or things will get a little too painful around here."
>I couldn't believe this, Lori was never this cruel.
>I could feel poison in her words.
>She slowly took away the towel from my mouth and said: "Speak."
>You don't know how scared I was at that moment.
>"N-not know, Lori, please..."
>"Not know?" She scuffed. "Did you just forget what you did to Ronnie Anne? Bobby told me everything, how you insulted her, how you insulted him. Do you know how much she cried? Because now Lincoln refuses to talk with her-"
>At that moment, I noticed an idea crossed her mind.
>She realized something.
>"It's Lincoln, isn't it?"
>"Lori no, it's not-"
>"It was always Lincoln, right?"
>I dodged her gaze.
>"Tell me exactly why you did it, Lynn."
>But I didn't answer. I knew that could've happened.
>"Lynn, I said, answer."
>Her cold stare came back, but I still refused.
>I closed my eyes and shook my head.
>"Lynn! Answer!"
>And then, I felt a pain on my cheek and a loud slapping sound.
>When I opened my eyes, it was cleared what happened.
>"Do you have any idea how much you hurt Ronnie? How much you hurt Bobby and how much that hurt me?!"
>"Lori, you just-"
>"Slapped you?" She said, anger coming out from every pore of her body.
>This was more painful than anything that has happened to me these past couples of days.
>I don't know, it felt like I killed something I held dear to me.

>"Lori, please, you're scaring me..."
>"Oh, am I scaring the little girl? Are you going to cry, just like Ronnie Anne did?!"
>Just as she was about to slap me again, I heard a voice behind her.
>"Lori, what are you doing?!"
>It was him, Lincoln.
>He came for me.
>"Lincoln!"
>I immediately threw myself into his arms. I knew he was going to protect me.
>"Lori, what the heck? What are you doing to Lynn? It's not her fault she's like this."
>"Get away from her, Linc. I warn you."
>"Lori enough, she's still hurt!"
>She threw a last glare at me.
>"I'm disappointed in you Lynn. I won't let you ruin this family." She walked towards us and tried to pull Lincoln away.
>"Lori, stop!" He screamed.
>"I told you to get away from her!"
>"Lori!"
>And then, she cried in pain.
>"Ouch! Lincoln, why did you bit me?!"
>"Because you're mean! You've always been mean towards me and Lynn! Get out of here or I'll tell mom and dad that you're hurting Lynn."
>Lori caressed her bitten hand and scoffed one last time.
>"This isn't over, Lynn. You either fix what you did, or I'll have to take this into my own hands."
>And then, she walked out of the room.
>Lincoln sighed with relief and looked at me with his beautiful eyes.
>"Man, what's wrong with her? Did you do something-"
>When his blue eyes full of concern looked at my own, I wasn't able to control myself.
>My body moved on its own.
>I, I couldn't control it.
>I kissed him.
>How couldn't I?
>He saved me from Lori!
>He always saved me from her.
>I stayed a couple of seconds there, enjoying his soft lips, letting myself melt in his mouth.
>But then, I realized what I just did.
>I quickly pulled away, covering my mouth with my trembling hands.
>"I-I'm sorry! I just... I-I wanted to peck you on the c-cheek and... and..."
>Lincoln stared at me.
>He stared and stared until he finally spoke.
>"Oh! S-so that's what happened? I-I see... It's alright, we all make mistakes... r-right?"

>He stared at his shoes for a long time.
>"Lincoln?"
>"H-huh? Oh, sorry, I just... let me pull a chair closer alright?"
>He sat beside my bed like he always did but, unlike other times, he didn't speak or told any jokes or held my hand.
>Whenever I tried to say something, he gave me short answers and then he got quiet again.
>I played with my fingers and tried to look at his eyes, but he never looked back.
>"Lincoln... I'm sorry, It was an accident... don't, don't be like this."
>"No, Lynn. It's alright, I get it."
>But it wasn't alright.
>When an hour passed like this, Lincoln finally stood up from his chair.
>"Wait! I mean... can't you stay five more minutes?"
>But after not answering, he took a deep breath and finally said. "Sorry, Lynn, I promised to do something with Clyde. I'll play with you later, alright?"
>And before I could say anything else, he walked out of the room.
>I stared at it for minutes until I realized he was gone.
>I covered my mouth with my hands trying to stop my sobs from coming out.
>"N-no, this can't be happening."
>I hid my face in my pillow and tried to think of something, anything that would distract me from my mistake.
>But nothing seemed to work.
>Suddenly, I felt a small hand caressing my hand.
>"Lynn, are you alright?"
>"Go away, Lucy..."
>"I saw everything."
>I quickly turned around to face her.
>"What?"
>"Lori and Lincoln, I saw it all."
>I was feeling like everything I worked so hard to protect was crumbling down.
>But she caressed my head again.
>"You don't have to hide your feelings with me anymore, Lynn."
>"Go away, Lucy... Please, I need to be alone."
>"It's alright, you don't need to cry. I'm here for you."
>"What are you talking about."
>"I love you, Lynn, you know that, right? You're my sister and my favorite roommate. I'm on your side."
>I couldn't believe that.

>"On my side? What are you talking about?"
>"If you ever need something, I'm here for you and Lincoln, alright?"
>And before I could stop her, she quickly climbed the wall and got inside the vent like she always does.
>"Ok, that does it." Lori said, walking into my room once more.
>"I saw Lincoln running to his room and when I opened the door he was looking at me with a scared face."
>She slowly sat on the chair that Lincoln put beside my bed.
>"Lynn, this isn't a game. If you don't tell me what you did, you can seriously hurt yourself and Lincoln, do you want that?"
>She wasn't angry anymore.
>She didn't glare at me like she did.
>Her face was different.
>"Lynn, this has to end now. Please, I beg you, what did you do?"
>She held my hand with warmth.
>I don't know why I answered her question, I guess I was vulnerable.
>"I... I kissed him, Lori..."
>I saw the slightest hint of disgust on her face.
>She shook her face, released my hand and stood up.
>"I'm sorry, Lynn, but this is for your own good." And walked out of the room.
>"Lori? Lori, don't! Please!" I screamed.
>I tried to follow her but I fell on the floor.
>"Lori, I beg you, this doesn't have to be like this!" I tried to stand up but it was too painful.
>The pain from my stomach suddenly came back when I hit my tummy on the floor and I wasn't able to do something else but drag myself.
>"No! Please!" I cried, tears coming out of my eyes.
>Lucy quickly got out of the vent and tried to help me up.
>"What's going on? Lynn?" Lincoln said, quickly appearing on my door.
>He tried to help me out too, forgetting what I did to him.
>"Lucy, please, stop her, stop Lori!" I said and she ran downstairs.
>"Stop her? Lynn, what's going on?!"
>"Lincoln I... I don't know how to say this..."
>"Well, first let me help you get on your bed."
>After I was on the bed, Lucy slowly appeared on the door and said the last thing I wanted to hear.
>"She locked herself in our parent's room, I'm sorry."

>After that, well, I couldn't contain myself.
>I grabbed Lincoln's shirt and wept on it.
>"Lucy, what's happening? I'm so confused."
>"Nothing Linc just, hold Lynn, alright? She needs it right now."
>And so he did.
>As caring as he always was, he held me and caressed my hair trying to calm me down.
>"Please, don't cry anymore, Lynn."
>"I don't want you to hate me, I don't want to lose you, Lincoln!"
>I remember I looked at his eyes and saw something strange.
>"I'm not going anywhere, Lynn, I'll always be here, ok?"
>"Promise?"
>"Yes, Lynn, I promise."
>His words calmed me down.
>I breathed a couple of times and not caring that Lucy was here, not caring that Lincoln was my brother, I gave him a small kiss on the lips.
>This wasn't like the last one where I lost control.
>I knew perfectly well what I was doing, but I didn't care.
>When I was finally done, Lincoln said.
>"T-that... the last one wasn't an accident, was it?" I could see fear on his face.
>I shook my head and hid my face on his shirt.
>"L-Lucy!" Lincoln screamed, finally noticing that our sister was in the same room.
>"I... I-I this isn't what it looks like! T-this is..."
>"Lincoln, it's ok, I get it."
>But at that moment, I heard some steps in the hallway.
>"Lincoln, Lucy, we need to talk with your sister for a moment." I heard mom say. "Can you two step outside for a minute?"
>I didn't want to do it, but I had to let his shirt go.
>"Yes... of course..." He said, walking away from me.
>He walked out of the room, followed by Lucy.
>But as she crossed the door, I immediately heard Lori yelp in pain.
>"What was that for?"
>"I don't know you." Lucy said.
>"Hey, quit it you two!" Dad said, before getting in my room and closing the door.
>"Ok. Lynn?" He continued. "We heard some, strange and very serious things about you and Lincoln and... we rather you tell us about them."

>There was something in the air.
>My room felt heavy and I was tired.
>I only wanted to lay down on my bed and sleep.
>Sleep until the end of times.
>But I couldn't.
>Not in front of them.
>I honestly was in more than one way.
>It was like the entire world stepped on top me and slowly pressed its foot on my head against the ground.
>I wanted it to end.
>I wanted to breathe once again.
>I wanted to be free.
>Even if the one thing I wanted the most was to be with Lincoln, all the secrets, all my feelings, all my regret, I had to let them out.
>And I did.
>I told them everything.
>Every single feeling, every single action.
>Every single thought I ever had, I spilled it on them.
>It was like a dam was broken, there was nothing I could do.
>You have to understand, I was just so tired of everything.
>I wanted to rest.
>When I was finally done, the lights of the evening finally died down and sadness fell on top of us three.
>Some seconds of eternal silence brought me some moments of peace, of strange relaxation.
>Everything that was inside me, that was slowly consuming me, was gone for those precious seconds, before coming back to slap me in the face.
>"Lynn." Mom said. "I'm glad that you told us about is, that you were able to trust us on this." She sighed. "But you know we have to do something about this, right?"
>I didn't even react to her words, I knew that it was over.
>For better or worse, it was over.
>"What are we going to do with Ronnie Anne?" He asked.
>"I'm sorry for what happened to her but, there are more important things at hand, don't you think?" She faced me again. "Lynn, I'm really sorry but, we won't let you see Lincoln. You understand, right?"
>Those words, they destroyed my heart.
>"N-never?"
>"Of course not! But, for the time being..."
>After some reassuring words, they opened the door and I saw two little figures run through the hallway.
>I didn't care who they were, I was feeling dead inside.

>I stayed on my bed with the lights off and the door closed.
>I don't know how much time passed but I really didn't care.
>I wanted to scream.
>I wished to run away from this place.
>I needed to be with Lincoln, for him to hug me and kiss me and tell me everything was going to be alright.
>I desired to make Lori feel everything I was feeling.
>But I didn't move.
>I couldn't move.
>My everything hurt.
>But at the same time, I was feeling numb.
>I didn't expect to feel this tired.
>I thought that by confessing everything, everything would stop.
>But it didn't.
>It was pulling me into the ground, punishing me for everything I did wrong.
>The world stopped spinning and time didn't walk in my room until the door was opened.
>"Lynn?" Lucy asked.
>But I barely heard her.
>She was like a dream, right in front of me but far away at the same time.
>"I'm sorry. If only I knew about this earlier I could've helped you."
>I didn't look at her.
>"Please, Lynn?"
>"..."
>"I get it, your heart is hard at the moment. Don't worry, I remember my promise, I won't let you alone."
>She walked towards me and pecked me on the cheek.
>"You can always count on me."

>From that day onwards I wasn't allowed to see Lincoln.
>It didn't matter, I didn't want to see anybody anyways.
>The only people I saw were Lucy, mom, and dad.
>I don't know what happened, I wanted to scream at mom for not letting me see Lincoln, but I stayed quiet.
>I wanted to cry and blame dad for the same reason, but I didn't react.
>I didn't cry, I didn't frown, I was just looking at the bedsheet.
>I've been like this ever since.
>Is something wrong with me? I should be in so much pain but, I can't feel anything.
>I've been thinking on Lincoln every second of these days, but his memory doesn't bring anything.
>No happiness, nor sadness.
>Did I finally get over him?
>Am I free from this curse, from his sweet embrace?
>If so, I rather be dead.
>I'm sorry, I'll talk to you later.

>They're taking me away.
>They said it was for my own good.
>My mom forced me to pack as soon as possible.
>Apparently they're taking me to a nuthouse tonight without telling any of my sisters.
>This is probably Lori's idea.
>Right now, I hate her as much as I hated Ronnie Anne.
>I don't want to see her.
>Not only did she destroyed everything I had with Lincoln, but she also wants to separate me from my sisters.
>Wasn't she satisfied? Didn't she enjoy breaking everything I held dear?
>Why does she care about that rat so much more than me?
>Does she care about her stupid boyfriend more than her own sister?
>Doesn't matter.
>Nothing matters anymore.
>They are going to give me some drugs that will make me forget Lincoln.
>I'll probably be drooling 24/7 until they come back for me.
>Have some doctors mess with my brain.
>Remove him from my soul.
>Catalogue me as a crazy person and kill the few things that Lori didn't kill.
>Whatever, I don't care.
>It doesn't matter.
>It's better this.
>I don't want to be disgusting anyways.
>Maybe this way, I'll be able to function normally.
>I don't know, finally get over him and get a boyfriend.
>Be normal.
>But.
>Why does it hurt so bad.
>Why do I feel like this.
>Like if shards of glass were inserted into my heart.
>If that's the case then maybe, it'll be best to forget.
>But isn't forgetting sad?
>If you forget, it's like things stopped existing, right?
>Will my feelings disappear into thin air?
>If that happens, then, will all of this ever happened?
>Perhaps being normal means to forget?
>To let things die?
>To become numb in favor of not feeling pain?
>I don't want it.
>I refuse to be normal if that means killing what's left inside me.
>I don't want to be a hollow Lynn.
>I don't want to be drugged for the rest of my life!
>I want to be with Lincoln!
>Well, at least you'll be with me, right?
>I hope they don't check my baggage at the nuthouse, I don't want to lose you.

>It's been a day since I got here.
>Mom and dad said that I was going to be in here two months, tops.
>These doctors already gave me a complete routine.
>Therapy once a day, exercises every day, thankfully no drugs yet.
>I just want this to be over.
>I'm not allowed to make phone calls and my parents said that to protect me or some crap like that, they wouldn't bring my sisters to visit me.
>Something about not wanting them to think I'm crazy.
>The only thing I'll be able to receive from them are letters.
>I asked them if I was going to be able to write letters to Lincoln.
>But they looked nervously at each other and only answered "You know, it'd be for the best if you were completely separated to him."
>This is not fair.
>But well, I guess that's to be expected.
>I just have to breathe.
>Let time flow and hope this entire madness goes by.
>I guess I should try to put some effort into getting better.
>It's not good to be so infatuated with your brother, right?
>If they can fix me, then I guess everything will be alright in the end right?
>Right?
>Yeah...

>It's been a week since I got in here and my parents finally visited me.
>They told me all about my sister's hijinks, about Luan, Luna, Lucy, and Lola.
>But when I asked about Lincoln, they didn't answer.
>They're being cruel and they know it.
>The lied they told my sisters was that I fell down the stairs and that I was in the hospital.
>Convenient, I suppose.
>Before they left, they gave me my sister's letters.
>Of course, no Lincoln letter in sight.
>It's going to be nice reading them, I bet they're full of best wishes and such.
>But man, Lucy's letter is thick!
>Almost like three letters in one.
>I bet she filled it with all kinds of poems and such, you know how much this girl likes to write.
>I'll read hers tonight, I bet it'll be good sleeping material.
>And in this white prison? Well, I'm going to need all the help I need to sleep.

>I can't believe it.
>I knew Lucy was a smart girl but this?
>Not even Lisa could've thought of something so ingenious.
>When I opened her letter and went through the pages of her poems, I noticed that some of them had a different calligraphy.
>I immediately recognized that handwriting.
>It was a letter from Lincoln.
>My heart skipped a beat and I read it as slowly as possible.
>Word by word, letter by letter.
>I read it once, twice and thrice.
>He was sending me his best wishes and told me what he did with Clyde that week.
>All the trouble he got in trying to help our sisters.
>So typical of my little brother.
>It was magical, it was almost like if he was in the same room with me.
>I smelled the pages and had the slightest scent of Lincoln.
>For the first time in days, I was able to smile.
>He did it again.
>He always does it.
>My precious Lincoln.
>But what really sealed the deal was the last paragraph.
>If I read the entire letter three times, I read that paragraph dozens of times.
>He said he missed me and he knew where I was.
>He told me "Please, do not change. I love my sister the way she is."
>But what made my hands tremble.
>What made my heart explode and my soul melt.
>What made my eyes release tears and healed my soul.
>Was the last sentence.
>"I don't know why but, ever since that day, ever since I saw your eyes before and after, I can't stop thinking about you. I'm worried about you, alright? So please, come back home safe, I'm waiting for you to come back."
>I had to pinch myself several times to make sure I wasn't dreaming.
>I'm not dreaming, am I?
>If I'm not, then I know what to do now.
>His letter gives me the strength to go on.
>I can do it, I can beat two months of being locked in this place.
>And once I'm out, no one, no doctors, not Ronnie Annie and not even Lori will stop Lynn Loud.
>If this is a test of my love for him, I'll gladly take it.
>The pain, everything was worthy after all.
>Because I'm in his heart now.

The End.