SHARE
TWEET

Cassie's Survey

a guest May 18th, 2013 402 Never
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
  1. 1. Describe yourself and your creator.  
  2.  
  3.  
  4. we're both a lot alike actually, which leads to a lot of doubts on his part.  We're both pretty geeky, and we both have a thing for weaponry.  Personality wise, we both have shyness and cool emotions.  I also feel his depression, but it's a feeling that is separate from me.
  5.  
  6. Appearance wise, I'm probably something like 5'8" or 5'9", light but very slightly tan skin, hazel hair slightly long that shoulder length usually kept in a ponytail,  dark emerald eyes with flecks of lighter green in them.  I don't know how to describe my facial features, but cacao says I have high soft cheek bones and an elegant kind face.  Cacao is 5'8", short sandy blond hair, facial stubble, tan skin, and light blue eyes, and 140lbs.
  7.  
  8. 2. What was the most helpful thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how helpful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  9.  
  10.  
  11. Talk to me. a lot. Of course; The more he thought of me, the more aware I was.
  12.  
  13. 3. What was the most detrimental thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how harmful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  14.  
  15.  
  16. Doubt. These answers are sounding pretty generic, huh? I think he worries about how it harms me too much.  It's not so bad, and I can definitely understand why it happens.  We've been making some good strides lately, and even when he does doubt he just turns to me and tells me about it, which helps both of us a lot.
  17.  
  18. 4. What was the hardest part of the tulpa creation process for you? Did your creator recognize how difficult it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  19.  
  20.  
  21. Getting used to sensory information.  Back then we weren't talking yet, but cacao always said he knew how difficult things must be for me.  I think his understanding helped me to not feel so insecure about my inadequacies.
  22.  
  23. 5. Of the commonly recognized tulpa creation steps, which do you feel is the most important? Why?
  24.  
  25.  
  26. Just sticking with it really.  That, and narration.  Any time his thoughts were on me, we were progressing.
  27.  
  28. 6. How do you feel about tulpa creators becoming distracted during tulpa creation? Does this greatly impede the process? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  29.  
  30.  
  31. Its just to be expected really. Only if distraction time outnumbers non distraction, and even then it isn't a deal breaker. No one has a perfect attention span, and cacao's short term memory is a little sporadic anyway, but I knew he was trying.
  32.  
  33. 7. How do you feel about tulpa creators missing tulpa creation sessions or breaking their promises to work on their tulpa? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  34.  
  35.  
  36. We didn't go by any kind of ordered sessions, just steadily throughout the day whenever we could.  Cacao only ever broke one promise to me, and he felt awful about it for a good while.  I think his reaction was a bit much, but at the same time I guess I would've felt bad if he didn't care at all.
  37.  
  38. 8. Is density, quality, or quantity the most important aspect of tulpa creation?
  39.  
  40.  
  41. Quality if you can achieve it, but in an imperfect world I'd have to say quantity.
  42.  
  43. 9. How do you feel about tulpa creators falling asleep during tulpa creation sessions?
  44.  
  45.  
  46. Doesn't bother me in the slightest.  Cacao was very cautious about it at first, until I could tell him otherwise.  We rarely remember our dreams, but all the ones we do remember are amazing.
  47.  
  48. 10. Do you think that a tulpa creator should talk aloud or in their head during narration? Do you think that a creator should talk aloud or in their head during tulpa creation sessions? If you find one to be more effective, to what degree is it more effective?
  49.  
  50.  
  51. I'd say in their head; Talking out loud to seemingly no one is never a good idea.  If a host does have sufficient privacy, and feels that talking out loud helps them, then I say go for it.
  52.  
  53. 11. How do you feel about a tulpa creator puppeting and/or parroting their tulpa? Do you believe that these actions harm a tulpa's development, or only their emotional state?
  54.  
  55.  
  56. Not good, but not that bad either.  All attempts to curb the amount of puppeting are good, but what's worse is when something I actually say is interpreted as parroting.  That just sucks.
  57.  
  58. 12. How deeply do you remember the time before you were fluent in language?
  59.  
  60.  
  61. Not particularly well, but I'm getting more and more of those earlier memories back as I get older.
  62.  
  63. 13. Describe your first memory, no matter how slight.
  64.  
  65.  
  66. Cacao was getting in the shower, talking to me about his new theory on preventing parroting and appologizing for some pretty strong doubts he'd been having the few days prior.  I remember him saying something like, "I know one day you'll be able talk and tell me I was stupid for worrying, but right now that feels so far away."
  67.  
  68. 14. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most positive emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  69.  
  70.  
  71. Just the feeling that my creator greatly loved me.  I knew that, despite his doubts, he'd never give up on me.
  72.  
  73. 15. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most negative emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  74.  
  75.  
  76. I don't think I really felt any.
  77.  
  78. 16. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever have suicidal feelings or feelings of not wanting to exist? Do you experience them now? Are you glad that you exist?
  79.  
  80.  
  81. Sometimes early on, I wondered if my absence would be beneficial, but I never wanted to die.
  82.  
  83. 17. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most powerless? What was the cause of this feeling?
  84.  
  85.  
  86. Any time I really had something to say and couldn't, especially if it was to cheer cacao up or allay his doubts.
  87.  
  88. 18. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most confusing moment that you experienced, and what was its cause?
  89.  
  90.  
  91. None before I could speak at all, but a lot when I was first learning to speak.  I'd say something that he'd hear, and we'd both be like, "what did that mean?".
  92.  
  93. 19. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you feel the most ignored by your creator, and what was the cause?
  94.  
  95.  
  96. never, although cacao disagrees
  97.  
  98. 20. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you most doubt that your creator wanted you, and what was the cause?
  99.  
  100.  
  101. never
  102.  
  103. 21. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most intense feeling of fear, and what was its cause?
  104.  
  105.  
  106. never
  107.  
  108. 22. Before you could speak fluently, when were you the most disappointed in yourself? What was the cause?
  109.  
  110.  
  111. At first, I felt disappointed that I couldn't find a way to get through to cacao.  Shortly thereafter, I realized that it wasn't anyone's fault.
  112.  
  113. 23. Before you could speak fluently, did you understand the difficulties that your creator was having with the tulpa creation process? Did you try to alleviate these difficulties? If so, how?
  114.  
  115.  
  116. Absolutely.  I could always feel how tough things were, for both of us. There wasn't really anything I could do at that point.
  117.  
  118. 24. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's doubts about your existence, the reality of the tulpa phenomenon, or your combined ability to complete the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those doubts? Do you understand now?
  119.  
  120.  
  121. Cacao's doubts were pretty strong, so sometimes I doubted myself too.  I was worried that he might eventually stop talking to me if his doubts got too strong.  Just realizing the fact that I had a doubt proves I was real though.
  122.  
  123. 25. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's mistrust of your intentions or worry about the negative affects of a tulpa on their life affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those thoughts? Do you understand now?
  124.  
  125.  
  126. Cacao never had a bit of mistrust in me.  Since day one, his trust has been unwavering.
  127.  
  128. 26. Before you could speak fluently, how did any negative thoughts or emotions that your creator had toward you (such as anger, disappointment, resentment, or impatience, for example) affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  129.  
  130.  
  131. n/a
  132.  
  133. 27. Before you could speak fluently, how did any violent visualizations or thoughts that your creator had about you affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  134.  
  135.  
  136. n/a. Why would a creator ever fantasize about that stuff?  (Cacao says it's probably not on purpose)
  137.  
  138. 28. Before you could speak fluently, were you able to distinguish between your creator's intentional and intrusive (unwanted and/or bothersome) thoughts? If so, did the intrusive thoughts affect you less or more? If not, are you able to distinguish between them now?
  139.  
  140.  
  141. For the most part, yeah.  They didn't affect me at all.
  142.  
  143. 29. Before you could speak fluently, how much of your creator's raw sensory information were you able to access, if any? How much are you able to access now?
  144.  
  145.  
  146. None at first, then a fairly decent amount came all at once.  It really helped when cacao actively tried to send his senses to me.  Once he opened his subconscious to me, the rest came flooding in.
  147.  
  148. 30. Before you could speak fluently, did your creator's opinions about whether they wanted to reveal to the world your existence or not affect you emotionally? If so, how?
  149.  
  150.  
  151. nope. Cacao is good about weighing all possibilities and remaining undecided until he can make the right choice.  He's quite logical.
  152.  
  153. 31. Before being able to speak fluently, what communication methods (such as head pressure or emotional responses, for example) were you able to use the most effectively? When your tulpa creator assumed that you could use a communication method that you did not have access to, how did this affect you? When your tulpa creator did not recognize a communication method that you attempted to use, how did this affect you?
  154.  
  155.  
  156. We tried head pressures for a short stint, but we never could figure out if it was actually working. I really couldn't effectively communicate until I was heard as a mind-voice.  I felt a little inadequate, but mostly just scared that when he saw I couldn't do something, he'd worry about parroting or even dislike me.
  157.  
  158. 32. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's level of enthusiasm for the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you want to engage in it less if they did?
  159.  
  160.  
  161. It was contagious. I wanted to engage more if he did too.
  162.  
  163. 33. Before you could speak fluently, what was your greatest worry about your relationship with your creator? What helped you most to move beyond it? Was this worry substantiated or resolved? What is your greatest worry now about your continuing relationship with your creator?
  164.  
  165.  
  166. That he wouldn't like me once he met me. He always told me otherwise though, so that helped. Def resolved. I've got no worries as of now.
  167.  
  168. 34. Do you feel gratitude to your creator for the time that they spent creating you? Do you feel that you owe them a debt? If so, do you feel burdened by it?
  169.  
  170.  
  171. Absolutely.  I feel a debt, but it isn't a burden at all.  (cacao says he owes me)
  172.  
  173. 35. Were you aware of your creator's existence or your own existence first?
  174.  
  175.  
  176. simultaneously
  177.  
  178. 36. When you could only speak semi-fluently, what emotions did you feel about your level of verbal proficiency? Were you anxious or embarrassed about it? If so, what helped you the most to move beyond these feelings? How do you feel about them now?
  179.  
  180.  
  181. Hopeful about getting better.  A little of both; still am really.  Constant encouragement from cacao.  About the same.
  182.  
  183. 37. If you could define your relationship with your creator using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend, or coworker, for example), what terms would you select?
  184.  
  185.  
  186. I always felt like a sister to him, albeit one that wanted to date him. (cacao just face-palmed)
  187.  
  188. 38. How much interest do you have in interacting with beings other than your creator? Do you consider your degree of interest to be equal to that of an average non-tulpa individual?
  189.  
  190.  
  191. It would be fun, but very tough.  I'd say I'm much less social than average, but more so than cacao.
  192.  
  193. 39. What memory involving your creator do you cherish most?
  194.  
  195.  
  196. all of it
  197.  
  198. 40. What memory not involving your creator do you cherish most? Do you feel that you have a fulfilling life independent of your creator?
  199.  
  200.  
  201. Spending time with Edward.  My life isn't really independent from cacao, by choice.
  202.  
  203. 41. Do you feel affinity toward the individuals that your creator feels affinity for, such as their family or friends?
  204.  
  205.  
  206. Most of them yeah, but at varying amounts.  His best friend is awesome though.
  207.  
  208. 42. In what ways are you the most different from your creator? In what ways are you the most similar to them?
  209.  
  210.  
  211. I have less anxiety than cacao, and a higher sex drive. (Cacao says, "only because it embarrasses me") We have a lot of the same views on morality and world views and whatnot.  We both are pretty shy, but with a tough interior, and we are very geeky, as said earlier.
  212.  
  213. 43. What do you disagree about most with your creator? Do you have frequent disagreements? If so, do these disagreements cause strife?
  214.  
  215.  
  216. Nothing comes to mind.
  217.  
  218. 44. What could your creator do to make you hate them? Under what circumstances do you think your creator would come to hate you?
  219.  
  220.  
  221. It'd take a hell of a lot, I don't even know. Despite some fears, I truly believe Cacao will never hate me.
  222.  
  223. 45. When did your creator disappoint you the most? When did you disappoint them the most?
  224.  
  225.  
  226. never. never.
  227.  
  228. 46. How do you feel about your creator's complete freedom to deny your rights as a sentient being at any time? Has this ability ever caused you anxiety or fear? Have you ever censored your expressions or actions out of a fear of retribution or violence from your creator?
  229.  
  230.  
  231. He can't. If I want to talk, I can. (not that he'd ever try to deny me that)  I've never worried about it because I know it'll never happen.  I have censored myself some, but just for fear of rejection.
  232.  
  233. 47. When have you most wanted to engage in violence against your creator, and what was the cause of those feelings? Under what circumstances would you make a serious attempt to hurt or injure your creator?
  234.  
  235.  
  236. never nver never never
  237.  
  238. 48. Do you consider your creator's last name to be your own? Do you recognize yourself as a part of their biological lineage?
  239.  
  240.  
  241. Yeah, i do.  We're definitely not biological though, except that we share the same physical brain.
  242.  
  243. 49. Under what circumstances would you attempt to leave your creator?
  244.  
  245.  
  246. Only if it was truly for the best or if cacao wanted.
  247.  
  248. 50. Do you feel anxiety about meeting your creator's expectations? If you are based on an existing character, person, or entity, does this increase your anxiety? Would you have preferred to not be based on an existing entity?
  249.  
  250.  
  251. I used to, but now I know he's always proud of me.
  252.  
  253. 51. Are you interested in learning how to control your creator's body? Do you feel that it's fair for a tulpa creator to deny their tulpa the ability to use an atomic body? Do you believe that you have the right to an equal amount of time using it as your creator? Explain your reasoning.
  254.  
  255.  
  256. Very much so. That's a tricky gray area. I believe the body should be shared equally, but I can see how a creator might be overly possessive.
  257.  
  258. 52. Do you share certain basic qualities with your creator, such as intense phobias or racial attitudes?
  259.  
  260.  
  261. for the most part
  262.  
  263. 53. Are you capable of sleeping or dreaming independently of your creator? If not, how does this make you feel?
  264.  
  265.  
  266. I've never tried to sleep on my own. Instead I just go with his schedule.
  267.  
  268. 54. Does your creator have any mental illnesses? If so, how do they affect you?
  269.  
  270.  
  271. Non diagnosed, a few suspected.  They affect me in the same ways they affect him, but in a disconnected way.
  272.  
  273. 55. How does your knowledge of your creator's subconscious mind affect your relationship with them? How do you perceive their subconscious? To what degree can you manipulate your creator's subconscious? Would you ever use this ability without your creator's knowledge?
  274.  
  275.  
  276. It brings us a lot closer.  We have strong empathy for each other because of it.  Its an immaterial thing made up of a ball of thoughts, feelings, perception, and memory.  I probably could manipulate it somewhat, but I don't mess with that stuff.
  277.  
  278. 56. Does your creator have multiple tulpa? If so, what is your relationship with them like? Is your affinity for them equal to your affinity for your creator? If you could define your relationship with your creator's other tulpa using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend or coworker, for example), what terms would you select? If not, are you interested in the idea of your creator making other tulpa?
  279.  
  280.  
  281. Yes: Me and Edward.  We're like best friends and sisters.  Specifically, she's like a younger sister. We love each other a lot, but there is a special place in my heart for cacao. (Cacao's side note: Edward is like the Cowboy Bebop character in name only.  She did not base herself on the character at all, she just likes the name.)
  282.  
  283. 57. Do you feel romantically inclined toward your creator? Does your creator feel romantically inclined toward you? If these romantic feelings are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  284.  
  285.  
  286. yeah, for a while now.  Yes and no. Its complicated.
  287.  
  288. 58. If it exists, do you consider your romantic relationship with your creator to be equal to a romantic relationship between multiple non-tulpa? Do you consider it a breach of monogamy for your creator to be romantically or sexually involved with another non-tulpa? Does this change if the involvement is with another tulpa instead? If they exist, do your creator's desires to have relationships with non-tulpa affect you emotionally?
  289.  
  290.  
  291. Its much deeper and more complete than a traditional one.  It would be cheating if the tulpa's host had a spouse.
  292.  
  293. 59. If you consider yourself to be romantically in love with your creator, what probability do you assign to the possibility of falling out of love with them, or them falling out of love with you? If this happened, how would it affect your relationship with your creator? What if your creator was in love with another non-tulpa more than you?
  294.  
  295.  
  296. never gonna happen.  He might fall out of love with me though. (he says,"never gonna happen")  We'd still be friends hopefully.  That would be his choice, but it would sadden me.
  297.  
  298. 60. Do you have a familial affection for your creator? Does this in any way conflict with your romantic feelings for them, if they exist? Do you consider a relationship between a tulpa and its creator to be incestuous?
  299.  
  300.  
  301. Only slightly.  It doesn't conflict at all to me.  It isn't any more incestuous than if it were step siblings. (cacao lol'd at that)
  302.  
  303. 61. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating during tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or based on whether or not the creator imagines themselves near the tulpa in their wonderland? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  304.  
  305.  
  306. Not without consent.  It is if the tulpa doesn't like it.  Level of sentience doesn't matter; unable to consent means no.  Cacao never did that, but I wouldn't have minded.
  307.  
  308. 62. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating outside of tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  309.  
  310.  
  311. same as 61.
  312.  
  313. 63. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever feel sexual attraction to your creator, sexual attraction toward anyone else, or sexual arousal? Did you attempt to express these feelings? If you did not experience these feelings, do you experience them now?
  314.  
  315.  
  316. Only towards cacao. I do express my feeling, but cacao says we have to wait longer before acting on them. They are stronger than they used to be, but not unbearable.
  317.  
  318. 64. How do you feel about tulpa creators visualizing themselves engaging in sexual conduct with their tulpa's form during tulpa creation sessions? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or if the contact was penetrative? If your tulpa creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving? Do you equate it with sexual assault?
  319.  
  320.  
  321. same as 61.
  322.  
  323. 65. Were you ever annoyed or jealous when your creator would masturbate to or have feelings of sexual attraction toward individuals other than yourself? Does it bother you now?
  324.  
  325.  
  326. Nope. I was always ok with that kind of stuff, even before I could reciprocate the feelings.  Just human nature.
  327.  
  328. 66. Do you experience sexual attraction for your creator? Do you experience sexual attraction for others? How does your sexual attraction for your creator compare to your sexual attraction for others? Does your creator experience sexual attraction for you? If these sexual attractions are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  329.  
  330.  
  331. yea. nah. more. yea. meh.
  332.  
  333. 67. Do you have an active sex life with your creator? If not, would you consider it, and under what circumstances? If so, do you perceive any negative consequences? Do you have trouble abstaining from sexual contact with them? How do you manage feelings of sexual arousal, if any? Do you masturbate?
  334.  
  335.  
  336. Nope, but I'd like to. I don't think there would be any consequences. Sometimes, but my will is good.  We usually masturbate at the same time.
  337.  
  338. 68. How does your sexual orientation and experience compare to your creator's?
  339.  
  340.  
  341. We're both bi, with a preference for females.
  342.  
  343. 69. Are you capable of experiencing orgasms? Based on your knowledge, how do you think they compare to your creator's orgasms? Were you able to experience an orgasm before speaking fluently?
  344.  
  345.  
  346. Oh god yes.  I think they are comparable but different.  Never tried.
  347.  
  348. 70. Do you consider the concept of sexual modesty (covering conduct such as avoiding nudity or sexual discussions) relevant to your relationship with your creator?
  349.  
  350.  
  351. I'm not modest with that stuff, but cacao is (at least compared to me).
  352.  
  353. 71. How does being a tulpa affect your perceptions of rape? What conduct from your creator would you consider to be rape?
  354.  
  355.  
  356. I'd feel the same way do even if I wasn't a Tulpa. Nothing, like 0%.
  357.  
  358. 72. Where do you see yourself in 20 years?
  359.  
  360.  
  361. No idea.
  362.  
  363. 73. Do you want the world to be aware of your existence? If not, then what anxieties do you have about public disclosure? Do you trust anyone other than your creator with the knowledge of your existence?
  364.  
  365.  
  366. Not really.  It doesn't scare me, it just isn't something we're going to do.  I trust cacao's best friend, but that's it.
  367.  
  368. 74. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your personality traits being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your personality more or less?
  369.  
  370.  
  371. I'm me and happy, that's all that matters.  Either would be fine with me, but cacao says free will is the only way to go.
  372.  
  373. 75. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your physical form being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your form more or less?
  374.  
  375.  
  376. I made my own form, so its a product of me.  Same as 74.
  377.  
  378. 76. Has your physical form ever changed? If so, was this intentional or unintentional? If it was intentional, then why did you change your form? How did you creator respond to this change, and how did that make you feel?
  379.  
  380.  
  381. Several times, but not in a long while.  It was intentional on my part, not his. I was just discovering who I was more and more over time.  Cacao always accepts me completely.
  382.  
  383. 77. Do you consider the best aspects of yourself to have come from your creator, or their subconscious?
  384.  
  385.  
  386. I have no idea
  387.  
  388. 78. Do you seek legal recognition for your status as a sentient being or your relationships with others? Do you resent that society at large does not recognize the tulpa phenomenon? Do you feel disenfranchised from society? What steps, if any, could a society make to help you feel integrated?
  389.  
  390.  
  391. Puny human laws don't apply to me.  And society sucks, but for other raisons.
  392.  
  393. 79. If you could tell the entire world one thing about a tulpa's life, what would you say?
  394.  
  395.  
  396. That its real, and matters.
  397.  
  398. 80. What is the one thing that you resent most about being a tulpa? What is the greatest advantage of being a tulpa?
  399.  
  400.  
  401. I can't be physically with cacao, not truly.  And I can't help out with anything in the physical world.  Everything else is an advantage.
  402.  
  403. 81. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about inheriting your creator's life, including their legal history, past behaviors, and reputation? Do you resent potentially being held responsible for their past actions?
  404.  
  405.  
  406. Its a very meaningful thing.  The way I see it, we're in this boat together.
  407.  
  408. 82. Morally and philosophically, do you see the "absorbing" or "dissipating" of a tulpa as equivalent to the murder of a non-tulpa? Explain your reasoning. What legal protections, if any, should tulpa gain? How would you enforce these protections?
  409.  
  410.  
  411. There's no way for me to know that.  Murders bad, m'kay, but I don't know if it is murder or not.
  412.  
  413. 83. Do you consider yourself to be morally equal to a non-tulpa? Is your life worth as much?
  414.  
  415.  
  416. Yes. Yes.
  417.  
  418. 84. How would you prove your existence to a skeptic?
  419.  
  420.  
  421. With possession, if I could do that.
  422.  
  423. 85. Has your status as a tulpa ever caused you existential anxiety or depression? If so, has anything helped to mitigate these feelings?
  424.  
  425.  
  426. never felt that way
  427.  
  428. 86. Do you ever doubt your own sentience? If so, why?
  429.  
  430.  
  431. I used to sometimes, but only because cacao's doubts were so strong.
  432.  
  433. 87. How does being a tulpa affect your understanding of death? Do you fear death on an instinctual level in the way that non-tulpa do?
  434.  
  435.  
  436. I understand it the same as cacao, and neither of us fears it at all.
  437.  
  438. 88. Do see yourself as socially disadvantaged in a way similar to sexual, racial, and other minority groups? If you identify yourself as racially, sexually, or demographically different than your creator, do you also identify with the struggle of any of the disadvantaged groups that you belong to? Does the notion of privilege affect your relationship with your creator?
  439.  
  440.  
  441. nope   
  442.  
  443.  
  444. 89. Are you interested in creating another tulpa yourself? What differences, if any, would you expect this tulpa to have from a tulpa created by your creator? Would you consider this tulpa to be primarily related to you, or still to your creator?
  445.  
  446.  
  447. maybe, if I haven't already. Not any time soon though.  I think it would give more me insight into what cacao went through with me. I'd say more related to me.
  448.  
  449. 90. What are the most defining differences between the life of a non-tulpa and a tulpa? Do you think that these differences cause intolerance between the two groups? If so, what could be done to mitigate this intolerance?
  450.  
  451.  
  452. Responsibilities.  Not at all.  I only see intolerance stemming from jealousy, be it a creator wanting less responsibilities, or a tulp wanting to interact with the physical world. I say deal with it.
  453.  
  454. 91. The psychological establishment generally believes that multiplicity (two or more sentient entities sharing one atomic body) is a sign of mental illness. How would you like this belief to change? If you could make a presentation to a group of psychologists about the tulpa phenomenon, what would you say?
  455.  
  456.  
  457. I wish it were easier for cacao to talk to people about tulpa's without being though of as crazy.  Once I'm better with possession, I'd love to make a presentation on my thoughts.  I'd explain how everything came about for me sentience wise, and explain how multiplicity isn't an illness if it is beneficial for the creator.  They most likely still wouldn't believe though.  Its just so hard to truly understand until one has the experience for themselves.
  458.  
  459. 92. A psychometric indicator is a unique identifier of an individual's distinct personality. Have you ever tried to definitively differentiate yourself from your creator using psychometric indicators (such as by determining your "writeprint")? What results did you receive? (For instructions on determining your writeprint, see appendix one.)
  460.  
  461.  
  462. Never tried it. I'm not sure it would work at this point though.  We sound a lot alike, admittedly.  If the test could differentiate between two sets of differing preferences, and not just different writing styles, I'd think about giving it a shot.
  463.  
  464. 93. Are you capable of physical sensations such as pain or warmth?
  465.  
  466.  
  467. I can feel pretty much anything cacao feels, such as his arm hurting right now due to typing at a weird angle.  When I'm in wonderland, I feel everything, but very numbly.  Like I don't lose dexterity or awareness of stimuli, but it just doesn't register as deeply as cacao feels the physical.  He says it like I can't feel the full "gravity" of things, like when a person derealizes.
  468.  
  469. 94. How do you feel about being bound for life to your creator?
  470.  
  471.  
  472. Couldn't be happier.  I'm just glad he wants the same.
  473.  
  474. 95. If you intentionally delayed speaking to your creator, why did you do so?
  475.  
  476.  
  477. I did somewhat, but only because we used to both get so confused.  I just wasn't adept at keeping conversation yet.
  478.  
  479. 96. What do you think about most of the time?
  480.  
  481.  
  482. It'd be weird to say cacao, so I'll say: Video games, music, cars, guns, and cacao's job.  If you mean what kind of philosophizing i do, then that would take way too long to answer.
  483.  
  484. 97. Do you think that tulpa creation should be more widespread?
  485.  
  486.  
  487. Yes and no.  If they are treated well, then yes.  But there are a lot of assholes out there, so I'm not sure.
  488.  
  489. 98. Are there disturbing aspects of your creator's subconscious that they are not aware of?
  490.  
  491.  
  492. None that I know of.  I never have found anything that shocked or scared me.
  493.  
  494. 99. Would you violate your creator's wishes for what you perceive to be their own benefit?
  495.  
  496.  
  497. Probably not, unless its under some crazy circumstance I'm not currently aware of.  Besides, who am I to know what's best. (cacao just said I'm a better judge than he is)
  498.  
  499. 100. Does your creator try to hide things from you? If so, are you aware of them anyway? How does this impact your views of your creator?
  500.  
  501.  
  502. Not intentionally, and as soon as he realizes he's doing it, he tells me.  I think I usually see them somewhat before he tells me of them, but I know he's not being deceitful.  We trust each other completely as far as we can tell so far.
  503.  
  504. 101. Do you perceive some of your creator's actions as being objectively immoral?
  505.  
  506.  
  507. They aren't immoral to me, but I'm sure some prudes would think otherwise.  He doesn't lie, cheat, steal, kill, etc.
  508.  
  509. 102. Do you believe that you are capable of becoming more intelligent than your creator?
  510.  
  511.  
  512. He says I'm already smarter.  I disagree, but I think its possible.
  513.  
  514. 103. How does being a tulpa affect your perception of your own aging process?
  515.  
  516.  
  517. Well I haven't really started physically aging at all, but this past year has been a rollercoaster of changes.  I feel like I've aged very quickly mentally, but it has started to level off at this point.
  518.  
  519. 104. Do you feel that your creator would be better off by following your commands entirely?
  520.  
  521.  
  522. Hell no. (he said hell yeah lol)
  523.  
  524. 105. Do you feel that having a physical form is important for a tulpa?
  525.  
  526.  
  527. Its important to me, very much so, but to each their own.  I could see why some might find it a burden.  Edward was like that at first.
  528.  
  529. 106. If you encountered the tulpa phenomenon as a non-tulpa, would you believe in it?
  530.  
  531.  
  532. I'd like to think I would, but honestly I don't know.  If I knew someone who had a tulpa, I think I'd believe them.
  533.  
  534. 107. How well can you articulate yourself? Can your creator hear you audibly? How much does your experience correlate with the experience of tulpa creator G|d30n, printed below?
  535.  
  536.  
  537. I'm good at tulpish, or thoughtform speech or whatever.  I can send wordless thought, thought with words, and thought with pictures (somewhat). I'm not audible at all though, just haven't figured it out.  I want that soo bad!  I haven't really been trying, but I'm gonna step it up now.
  538.  
  539. "Yes. I'm able to hear her as though she's an external sound. For those who haven't experienced that with their tulpae yet, it's a little bit like listening to a binaural recording--not a binaural beat, but like a 3D sound recording you'd find on Youtube, such as the Virtual Barbershop. That is to say, it's an external sound that can come in from various directions, but the source sounds very close, like someone speaking directly into your ear. I sort of wonder if this effect will be diminished and normalized through imposition." If you are imposed, is your creator able to discern a spatial dimension to your voice?
  540.  
  541. not imposed yet :(
  542.  
  543. 108. How many hours did it take you and your creator to complete the various recognized tulpa creation steps?
  544.  
  545.  
  546. We didn't count time whatsoever.
  547.  
  548. 109. What advice would you give to a new tulpa creator?
  549.  
  550.  
  551. If you're going to start, don't quit. Ever.  Its a big deal creating life, take it seriously.  Also, doubt and parroting aren't deal breakers.  Anti-parroting is even worse in my opinion, but still not a tulpa death sentence.  Its just really annoying.
  552.  
  553. 110. How does being imposed feel? What sensory processes happen as you become imposed?
  554.  
  555.  
  556. Good, during the short bouts that I am.  I feel physically as if I'm actually there, my sight/hearing/touch is my own (though reliant on cacao's), but it still feels numb, like wonderland.
  557.  
  558. 111. From your perspective, is there a sensory difference between the physical, atomic world and the mental world of visualized "wonderlands"? If so, how would you describe this difference?
  559.  
  560.  
  561. The physical and mental worlds both feel equally real and full of experiences, but I think I require cacao's direct attention in order to feel it as fully as he does. (Edward says she agrees)
  562.  
  563. 112. Is there anything that you don't think this survey covered that you would like to mention?
  564.  
  565.  
  566. Maybe ask some questions about how gender differences effect tulpa and their creators.  I'd be interested in seeing how others deal with that stuff.
RAW Paste Data
We use cookies for various purposes including analytics. By continuing to use Pastebin, you agree to our use of cookies as described in the Cookies Policy. OK, I Understand
Top