Scratch One Off - Chapter 9 (END)

    The sound of a distant car alarm in the streets below wakes you out of your slumber. Going by the light shining through your blinds, it has to be at least noon. It doesn't really matter though; no amount of sleep could make you feel any better right now. Your apartment is deathly quiet. The usual sounds of Vinyl snoring, or Sunset walking around that you had gotten used to this week are absent.

    You sit up and lean your head into your hands, feeling worse by the second. The echoes of last night are still painfully fresh in your mind. The sound of Sunset's sobs as she walked down the stairs and Vinyl's choked up voice right before she left haunt you, making you feel cold even though the air conditioner has been off all night. You want to cry, you want to go back to sleep and hope your dreams can take you away from this awful existence, but you know none of that is going to help in the end.

    You think back to yesterday at the pond. You remember all those beautiful evenings with Sunset, all those hopeless situations she's helped you out of, how she's always been there for you, and how you haven't gone more than a few days without her since high school. You remember her hair, her smile, her beautiful eyes.

    Then you remember last night again. How she said she didn't know what she had to live for anymore, how she thought she wasted her life following you. You can feel the tears start to well in your eyes yet again. Just the memory of the pain you saw in her face brings a dull ache to your chest that doesn't seem to go away.

    Then you think about Vinyl; her confident smile, her playful demeanor, how every little situation with her ended in a fun memory or silly story. You remember the music, the lights, the dancing... the amazing sex. You remember the thrill of simply being around her. Then you remember the pain in her voice when you told her you didn't want her help, how you weren't going out and how hard she tried to convince herself otherwise.

    The constant stream of fuck ups last night weighs heavy on you now; so heavy you don't even think you can muster the strength to get up anymore. You sink back into the couch and lay your head down against the cushion, wishing you could take back all of last night, that you could at least go back and make some better decisions that you could keep those two in your life.

    You sigh and give up. There isn't a single thing that could help you out of this. You just have to live with your regrets and start over, hoping you didn't ruin either of their lives. You close your eyes and hope to go back to sleep on the couch, to hopefully wake up to a better life than the one you're living now.

    After a few moments you open your eyes back up. A deep, angry scowl comes over your face, at yourself more than anything. What were you thinking? Just cut and run? Wish them the best and leave their lives completely? No, that isn't what you're going to do. If something is worth having, it's worth working your ass off for, worth fighting for.

    You get up off the couch with determination in your eyes, a purpose in your heart. You slip your shoes on and grab your car keys. It might be a lost cause, but you'd never be able to live with yourself if you didn't at least try. You know what you have to do.

[center]    ___________________________________________________________________________________________[/center]

    You stop your car on the curb outside of the club where it all started the other night, and sure enough, Vinyl is sitting over there on the sidewalk, curled up holding her knees with one hand and smoking a cigarette with the other. She sees you as you get out of your car, and eyes you with an apprehensive look as you walk towards her.

    You plant yourself against the wall beside her and slide down next to her, letting out a long sigh as you do. You know this is going to be hard. You open your mouth to let out the first word, but as usual in these kinds of situations, the words catch in your throat.

    Vinyl taps the ashes off of her cigarette next to her and looks over to you, trying to put on her usual playful smile. "So... what's up?"

    You take a deep breath, coughing a little bit as you smell some of the acrid smoke. "I didn't know you smoked."

    She eyes the cigarette for a moment before flicking it out into the street. "I don't. Not usually anyway."

    "Ah," you say, completely understanding. You were the same way with alcohol sometimes.

    Vinyl lets out a sigh of her own and droops further into herself. "Don't suppose you've come to confess your undying love for me?"

    You open your mouth again and turn to her, only to fall short yet again, and look away with disappointment.

    "Yeah, I kinda figured as much."

    "Look, Vinyl, I'm really sorry for what I said last night, but--"

    She holds up a hand to you, her expression turning quickly somber. "Save it, dude. I know where this goes: 'I'm really sorry about how I said it, but I really did mean it'," Vinyl says, making a little face with her hand.

    You open your mouth again and close it. That's actually pretty much exactly what you were going to say.

    "But for real, I'm sorry," Vinyl says, wrapping both hands around her knees and hiding most of her face between them.

    You look over to her with confusion on your face. "What? Why?"

    "Because I knew about Sunset all along. I saw that kiss you had on the dancefloor. All that gloating about fucking you yesterday? That was on purpose," Vinyl says, sounding disappointed in herself.

    You look at her with the same disdain. "W-Why would you do that if you knew--"

    "I was jealous, alright? You were the first guy I've been with pretty much ever that had his life together. That had a clean apartment and wasn't a junkie. As much fun as those other guys were, I know I was wasting years of my life with them. I knew that if I kept on that path for much longer, I was going to end up on meth, or crack, or something, and live on the streets for the rest of my life. Every time Sunset insulted my habits, or called me trash, it just hurt so much..." Vinyl says, holding herself tighter. You can see the start of tears at the edge of her eyes.

    Your mouth is hanging open slightly in shock. You had no idea. "Vinyl..." you whisper to her. You put an arm around her in attempt to be comforting.

    She looks over and gives you a weak smile and a sniff to try to compose herself. "Thanks..."

    You give her a smile in return, and she goes back between her knees.

    "When I first realized how much Sunset wanted you, I wanted to do everything in my power to get her to leave, to get her to realize there was no chance, but if nothing else that girl is persistent."

    You stay silent. You don't know what else to do right now but listen. Vinyl grips herself even tighter and lets out a frustrated grunt.

    "God, I feel so awful now. All those fights, all those insults..." Vinyl looks over to you, genuine remorse in her eyes. "I heard all that last night. Man, I never wanted for her to think she was worthless, to pretty much say she wanted to kill herself. I just wanted to take her place and have the life she was too scared to ask for, you know?"

    You give Vinyl a comforting squeeze and a tiny smile as she looks over to you. "I understand, Vinyl. I'm not mad at you."

    Vinyl perks up. "Really?"

    "Well, I am a little pissed you sent Sunset into a sobbing fit and running out of my apartment, but we all make mistakes. I'd still like to be friends with you."

    Vinyl's face brightens up a little bit at that. "You promise?" she asks.

    "Promise. You're a fun girl to be around when I don't have to break up you and Sunset... or I'm getting shot at."

    "Heh, I swear that's going to be the one and only time." Vinyl's smile fades slightly and she looks off onto the concrete in front of her thoughtfully. "Can you make me two more promises?"

    "Sure. What's on your mind?"

    "Set me up with one of your guy friends, will ya? And make sure he's not a total fuck up," she says, playfully nudging you in the ribs.

    "Heh, I promise. I think I know just the guy, too. What's the other one?"

    "Tell Sunset how you feel about her. Even if you don't realize it, I can see how much you love that girl. You two are meant to be together, and right now, I think that's something she really needs to hear now more than ever."

    You close your eyes and sigh. Deep down you know that's something you want to do, but you're terrified that you completely ruined that chance last night.

    "Hey," Vinyl says, putting a finger on your chin and making you look over to her, "It's not too late. From what I saw, she's not going to be able to stop loving you in a year, much less an entire day. So promise me you'll go right over there and tell her exactly what's on your mind, okay?"

    "But what if--"

    "Ah! No sir. No buts." Vinyl hops to her feet out from under your arm and grabs your hand, pulling you up with all her might. "Promise me."

    Once you're to your feet, you look away from Vinyl, the pit inside your stomach growing at the thought of your next interaction.

    Vinyl gives a little "Hmph!" and makes a pouty face at you, really laying it on thick and trying to get your attention.

    You throw up your hands and smile at her. "Alright, alright. I promise. Now stop giving me those puppy dog eyes."

    "Right over, alright? No going back to your apartment and moping, and no alcohol. Straight to Sunset. No excuses," Vinyl says sternly as she drags you back to your car and forces you in.

    "You've got to promise me. Seriously," she says, leaning over your door as she plops you down into your seat.

    "Really, Vinyl, I promise. Straight over to Sunset's."

    "Alright, good." Vinyl closes your door for you and gives you her usual confident smile. "Go get her, tiger."

    "Thank you, Vinyl," you say genuinely as you put your seatbelt on.

    "Thank me later. You've got bigger things to deal with."

    You start your car and put it in gear. Vinyl waves you off, a hopeful smile on her face. Unfortunately, you couldn't keep the smile on yours. The pit in your stomach is growing unbearable and the lump in your throat swells with every passing second. You've never been so nervous in your life.

 [center]   _______________________________________________________________________________________[/center]

    Twenty minutes. You've been standing outside this door for twenty minutes. The suspense is killing you. Your heartbeat hasn't slowed down a beat since you walked up here, and you can feel the pounding in your chest. You know you want to make amends, you know you want to say sorry and tell Sunset how you really feel, but your body is completely locked up at the thought.

    Finally, in an impulse of masochism you knock on the door twice, then immediately wince when you draw your hand back. Panic builds inside you as you continually think you're not ready, that you still need to wait and think out what you're going to say so you don't mess things up again. Too late now; you can hear footsteps on the other side of the door. Part of you wants to run away and come back later, but thankfully, you're way too petrified to move from that spot.

    Sunset opens the door to you, and you can immediately tell how awful she's doing: smeared mascara ran freely down her face from her puffy red eyes, her hair is a complete mess of tangles and is sticking up all over her head, and she still has on her pajamas at this time of day. A wave of relief washes over you once you see she hasn't done anything drastic, but that quickly fades once you realize you've never actually seen her this upset before.

    Sunset recognizes you as the door comes about halfway open. Her expression immediately turns from somber to sour, and she goes to slam the door in your face in anger. You're quick enough to stick your shoe in front of the doorway and get it caught right before it closes. You wince at the strength behind  that slam against your foot, but at least it keeps it open.

    "Sunset, please, I just want to talk to you."

    You can feel her turn around and put her back to the door. "Haven't you said enough?" she says, pain still heavy in her voice. There isn't any malice in her tone, only sadness.

    You sigh. "No, I haven't," you say quietly.

    You can hear fabric sliding on wood, and feel the sudden shift in weight. She must've sat down in front of the door.

    "Please, just leave me alone. I don't want to hear anymore about you and Vinyl. Just... go," she says, her voice already falling apart. With her last sentence you could hear the start of a muffled sob from behind the doorway.

    You grimace at the sounds. That's the last thing you want to hear right now. The familiar ache in your heart returns as she continues to cry.

    "I'm not here to talk about Vinyl and I. I'm here to talk about you and I, Sunset. Can you please let me in?"

    After a few moments, you hear the sound of Sunset's feet on the carpet, and the weight off of the door leaves. You push in to see her walking into her living room, so you follow after her, making sure to shut the door behind you.

    The sight in front of you reminds you of one of Rarity's meltdowns: ice cream cartoons littering the couch, tissues all over the floor, and her tear-stained laptop sitting on the coffee table; no doubt skyping some of the girls for comfort. You know at least two of them are going to slap the life out of you for doing this to Sunset. Sunset sat on the other side of the coffee table, wrapping her arms around herself and looking away from you. You take a place on one of her couches to look at her.

    "Sunset... I am so sorry about last night. I just..." you sigh, close your eyes, and try to collect yourself. You think these probably weren't the right words you should've started with. "...the last thing I ever wanted was for you to run out of my apartment crying like that, saying that..." you take a moment to push back your own tears at the thought of even saying it, "that you didn't think you had anything to live for anymore."

    Tears run down Sunset's cheeks as she continues to face away from you. She closes her eyes, only a few quiet sniffs coming from her. "If I could change everything about yesterday and the night before, I would. If we could just talk this through instead of having Vinyl--"

    Sunset looks over at you, just for a second before turning her gaze back to the carpet. It's enough to cut your sentence off, and enough to make you clear your throat awkwardly and look around the room to avoid her.

    You look back to her. "I just never wanted to lose you, Sunset. I still don't."

   She meets your gaze, with slight anger building in her crying eyes. "Then why did you let her talk to me like that? Why did you let her..." Sunset gives a little shiver, no doubt at the memory of the threesome, "...do that to me?" Sunset turns away from you again, holding herself tighter. "Why are you even here if you'd rather be with her?" Sunset sighs and droops lower into her own sadness. "You showed me what you really wanted last night. So just please, leave me alone."

    "I wouldn't rather be with her, Sunset. Last night wasn't even close to what I really want," you say, getting up off the couch.

    Sunset looks over at you, slight confusion on her tear-stained face. "W-What?"

    You kneel beside Sunset, careful not to get too close to her. She looks into your eyes for the first time since you got here, and you look back into hers. "You were right, last night, Sunset. I'm an idiot. I am the dumbest man to have ever graced your presence. It took you finally admitting it to me before I could put the pieces together about how you felt, and how I felt.

    "All these years you've been with me, you've been my best friend. I can't imagine going more than a few days without seeing you, I can't live without those little moments between us out by that pond, or the endless conversations about nothing at all on those boring weekday nights, or seeing you smile, or hearing you laugh, or just being next to you at all.  Seeing you like that last night hurt me more than anything ever could."

    Sunset stares at you, tears still streaming down her face, but not nearly as broken-hearted as before. You take a deep breath, then look back into her eyes and scoot closer to her and take her hands in yours. "Sunset, I am so sorry. About everything. I know how much I hurt you, and I know how much you must resent me right now, but I just want you to know, it isn't a dead end, Sunset."

    You look deeper into her eyes, savoring all the little shades as you feel your heart almost explode out of your chest with nervousness. "I love you too, Sunset. I love you more than anything else on this earth. There's no one in the world I'd rather be with than you."

    You stare longingly into her eyes, waiting for her to say something. After a tense few seconds, you drop your head; you know what that blank gaze meant. It's too late. You've already fucked this up beyond repair.

    You feel the lump in your throat growing. You can't help but let a few tears flow out. You close your eyes and turn away from her, letting her hands go. You could feel your heart shatter into a million pieces. You finally realize your feelings for your best friend, and in one night you destroy any chance of having a happy life with her. You know you have no one to blame but yourself.

    "I'm sorry, Sunset," you say as you begin to rise to your feet, "I just needed to say that. I'll leave you alone no--"

    Before you can finish your sentence, Sunset throws herself at you. She wraps her arms around your neck and presses her lips so hard against yours you think you might have busted something. You fall backwards and hit the carpet, Sunset straddling you and kissing you as deeply as she possibly could.

    She breaks the kiss and looks down to you, a smile bigger than you've ever seen before on her face. She's still crying, but this time you can tell... they're tears of joy.

    "Shut up and hug me, you idiot," her tone hopeful and sweet yet again. You wrap your arms around her and hold her tightly, never wanting to let her go again. You bury your face in her shoulder, enjoying her warmth, her smell, the softness of her body. The tears coming out are still coming, but with the massive smile on your face, you can tell they're coming out for the same reason that Sunset's are.

    "I love you so much, Sunset."

    Sunset leans back from your hug, bringing her hands up to your cheeks, cradling your face lovingly. "I love you too," she says in a sweet whisper. Slowly she comes back down, meeting her lips with yours yet again. You close your eyes, losing yourself in her kiss. You feel all your stress wash away in her grasp. In the end, this is all you really wanted. With the girl of your dreams in your arms and a bright future with her ahead of you, everything felt perfect.