obsequious bunny01/30/2018
mmmkm soooo
Im all hung up on impact play, pain and sub sapce feels right now
sooooo like... this one sessoin, one of our longer pain play session that realllllyyyy pushed my limits and broke me mentally and left me a puddle of submissiveness went a bit like this
I was ordered to lay on my stomach on the bed
naked
my soft bum nice and exposed and M had a couple things to use on me lined up
a crop, a flogger, a couple skinny wood dowel rods and a paddly thing
she ordered that I count along with her and thank her every ten hits
at hearing every ten hits I felt my heart skip a beat
how much was she planning to put me thorugh
not that I have a say
as she ordered me to ut my wrists together above my head
looped some rope around them and fastened it to the headboard

obsequious bunny01/30/2018
i wiggled a bit, testing what defense I had left to squirm from her blows
she noticed a bit too much freedom and address that by attaching my ankles to each other and then to the bottom of the bed as well
now, more than ever i felt how helpless I was
having given myself, my body.. my mind to her to play with
to mold and to toy with
to mark and to use
the first blow came, almost like a kiss, it wasnt hard, it wasnt on already sensitive skin, it was a light blow as well just something to let my mind adjust to my cicumstances
1
then another two three four five, she pauses to rub the rapidly reddening skin with the tip of the riding crop
gently, almost soothing
6, 7, 8 come a bit harder, my body flinches involuntarily
9 and 10, I thank her obediently, she comes in closer to my face resting her handholding the drop on my lower back as she whispers in my ear, "how are you doing slave"
I am still feeling the rush of the first ten blows coursing thorugh me and feel amazing, and tell her so, she said good before pushing down on me to lift herself back up
11, 12 13 14 15 much quicker now, and the areas of skin not already sensitive are dwindling
each blow to a previously hit spot, stinging twice as much at least as the initial hit felt


obsequious bunny01/30/2018
my body is now anticipating each blow
wincing in preparation of the next
which makes her giggle and begin messing with me buildig up suspense letting my mind do the work for her
until I'm left shaking and the release is actually the blow itself
my mind is already melting to her will
16 17 18 19 20 thank you
this time she doenst ask me how I'm doing just tells me I'm being a good slave
rubs gently on the tender skin
at this point I am flushed, my skin is red where its been hit, but also my ears and cheeks are flushed from the rush of chemicals being released in my brain, I am losing grasp now
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30, she keeps up a good pace, not giving my mind a moment to catch up now, I thank her with a trembling voice that is interrupted by sudden involuntary flinches from muscle memory
she switches to the flogger and gently drags it across my sensitive skin
shivers of icey lightning at shooting through me from this sensation
my mind is crumbling now
31 - 35 came quickly, each blow sending my mind hurtling closer to my happy sub space at this point I still feel the pain but i am losing the ability to understand it?
its pain... but what is pain
my mind wanders I forget to count 36
she starts back at 30
i collect what fragments are left of my mind and focus on the numbers the hits
the gifts
31- 40 are a mental struggle for me, my mind losing grasp on anything but the sensation my Mistress is allowing me to feel
each hit and subsequent pain response interpretted by my brain is becoming something different
I thank her again, barely able to focus but knowing what I was told still.  i struggle now to keep my counting, she reminds me to count every so often as she goes through
41- 50
each blow now feeling less like pain, and more like a gift, something that my Mistress is giving to me, letting my brain feel, its a connection directly from her to my brain that is in my subconscious now
after 50 I am shaking and not flinching any longer
she keeps up another two or three blows until she feels she has pushed me far enough
I thank her, feeling emotional now, I feel so much love for her
so much adoration and appreciation for her
and I am left broken, brain exhausted

obsequious bunny01/30/2018
not done &^_^
boss called
unable to function without her at this point as she lays next to me and covers us with a blanket she carefully releases my hands then ankles
and holds me and tells me how well I did
and how much she loves owning me
it feels like my body and mind melt into her as she absorbs my everything
and yea...
the recovery period from that one was long
lol it was several hours till i would say I was back to normal
mmmm
this was a good memory

obsequious bunny01/30/2018
that weird moment when I stopped feeling it as pain
and instead just an extension of her will
and a gift that I should be grateful for
mmph... made myself even more torment, wants....