Tales Of Necronomicons!

Isaac was falling, he didn’t know how or why or where, he just knew that he was falling; falling down; down a horrible swirling vortex amidst the bones of long-dead heroes and villains. The screaming and wailing of the ghostly apparitions that showed themselves ever so briefly in the walls of the vortex, fanged teeth gnashing to get past the invisible barrier that no doubt prevented Isaac from being torn limb from limb, was enough to send any man over the edge of insanity. Isaac didn’t care, he passed that edge long ago and was practising his breast-stroke amidst an Ocean of Madness, the swirling eddies and waves buffeting him in a manner akin to the gentle caress of a lover. Hands behind his head, Isaac relaxed in freefall, his RIG keeping the powerful winds from freezing him to the bone. He had been falling for what felt like hours with no end in sight, realising abruptly that he was probably stuck in the vortex if he didn’t do anything he readied his Pulse Rifle, keeping his Javelin Gun holstered on his back and his Plasma Cutter in its Holster. He was preparing to shoot his way out of the gods damned, thrice cursed wall and murder his way to freedom, killing any of those monsters that dared to get in his way. Just as he readied the grenade function of his rifle two words followed by a fit of coughing thundered through the vortex.
“KLAATU!....BERADA!....NI*KOFmuKOFmbleKOF*”
Instantly Isaac was thrown into another vortex that opened through the wall, there was no free falling this time, he cannoned out of the exit into open space. Far below him was what appeared to be a graveyard surrounded by swampy marshlands, it was towards the centre of the Graveyard that Isaac rocketed towards. He tried to slow his descent with his RIGs inbuilt thrusters but to no avail. He hit the sludgy ground hard, with a WHUMPF of impact and bounced onwards, another WHUMPF later and he had slowed considerably. Smashing directly into a tomb, it’s ancient walls unable to withstand the impact, he tumbled to the floor battered and bruised. He could hear the wind wailing and screaming its way through the graveyard outside and he knew he had to move soon but he allowed himself a moments rest. As he lay there amidst the rubble of his entry he heard the steady creaking of the trees inside and the whirling, swirling squeals of the wind outside. A realisation cut through Isaac’s moment of rest and caused him to tense. Trees don’t grow inside sealed tombs.
Sitting bolt upright he had a few seconds to see the skeletal bodies rising from the shelves and jutting graves inside the tomb before a bony hand masked his vision and pulled him back to the earth. The clawed hand gouged furrows into his helmets visor before he could bull his way free of its clutches, whirling around he stomped on the bony body beneath him and crushed it utterly. Pulling out his rifle he leapt out of the tomb, turned and fired a grenade into its depths then turned away to survey his surroundings. Backlit by an explosion, Isaac cut an intimidating figure as he took deliberate steps down the nearby stairs, occasionally obliterating any undead that was foolish enough to get in his path. He saw in the distance a jutting monument with what appeared to be a man holding a book fighting off a skeletal horde. It was too far to make out any details beyond the fact the man was on the defensive. Isaac did what any sensible person would have done, he moved to aid the only other creature that was fighting the things he was. His Pulse Rifle mowed down line after line of the undead horde as he approached, the man glancing quickly behind him to see this new bizarre arrival before turning back and punching a skeletons head off and booting the rest of it off the raised cleft he was standing on.
Isaac made a running jump and leapt up to the very top of the monument, pulling himself up with ease. As he stood upon the apex of the monument he surveyed the surrounding area with a bearing akin to nobility, rifle resting on his shoulder and one hand on his hip, he saw that the horde of skeletons was vast. Realising the man below was still fighting, Isaac leant down and pulled him up. The man, a manic look in his eyes, turned and thanked him before kicking a skeletons head off and laughing as it bowled over a trio of approaching undead. The laughter was infectious and Isaac turned back to the approaching horde, a smile on his lips hidden behind his RIG’s helmet. He unleashed his rifle upon the skeletons and mowed down rank after rank after rank, when he ran out of ammo he ejected the magazine and switched to his Cutter. The spent magazine flew through the air and knocked off the head of a skeleton that was about to stab the other man with a ruined blade, momentarily stunning the moving corpse and giving the man enough time to turn explode its chest with a metal fist.
Shot after shot, rank after rank, the undead fell; until there was but one that remained, its bones rattling as it shook from an unnatural fear amidst the remains of its fell compatriots. The man beside Isaac jumped down and began beating the pathetic creature with the book he held in his hand, each dull thud of the book landing echoed by a crack as a bone shattered beneath the onslaught. Squealing in fear the skeleton dropped to its knees and begged for mercy, this surprised Isaac as he was not expecting it to talk, the man wasted no time however and grabbed the skeleton by its bony neck.
“Don’t kill you eh?” He growled, “After you and your boys tried to shank me? You’re lucky this stranger turned up and went easy on you!”  He dragged the broken boned beast to its feet and began dragging it to a nearby pit. “Go easy on you?!” He roared, “Go back to the hell you came from you god damn BASTARD!” The man hurled the creature at the pit but it landed short, before the creature could do anything there was a thud and a CRUNCH of bone as the man’s foot contacted its bony posterior and launched it whimpering and crying into the abyss which emanated a sickly green light. Pausing for a moment, the two heard the creature land and began whining. The whining stopped very quickly and a tension settled in the air that all could feel. There were two loud thuds as something very large moved below in the crevice and immediately the undead creature began screaming loudly. This was followed very quickly by *THUD THUD THUD THUD CRUNCH* and the screaming stopped. Chuckling darkly the man turned back to Isaac who was still standing atop the monument, outlined by the moon. Glancing down before jumping, Isaac landed with a dull thud on the soft earth beneath him and began to slowly walk towards the man who clearly didn’t know what to do now. Isaac stopped before the man, crushing the skull of one of their defeated enemies beneath his heel, and stared at the man, his helmet bathing the man’s face in an unearthly, pale blue light. The man had a prominent, strong chin and jawline, brown eyes framed by black, unkempt hair.
The man looked Isaac up and down several times and clutched the book to his chest before his eyes firmed and he stood up straight. Extending his hand to shake he said in a gruff, manly voice,
“The names Ash, Ash Williams, thanks for the help.” Isaac stared at the man’s face then glanced at the hand before gripping it firmly. Deactivating his RIG’s helmet he smiled grimly at the man and replied, “Isaac.”
The man, Ash, surprised at seeing a human face behind the odd, creepy helmet, stared once again at Isaac’s armour and then looked at where the helmet retracted to. Looking back up to Isaac he said the only thing he could.
“Groovy.”
End(?)