Goatse in Equestria 6: Showdown at Sweet Apple Acres

>The waiting period is over, motherfucker
>You can feel the ice around you beginning to melt
>You can move your fingers
>Alright, you've decided that RIGHT NOW is the moment you will bust the fuck up out of that ice
>Like, now
>3
>2
>1
>You scream as loud as you can and break the ice into thousands of tiny shards
"IIIIII AAAAMMMMM IMMMORRRTTTALLLLLLL!!!!"
>Either that or you've gained infinite knowledge, you haven't decided what fucking Pip has done to you
>Oh, wait, Pip
>You look down on the now-shattered pip, transformed into little more than a tile of fine-grain pieces of ice and flesh
>Fuck that nigger
>You, in your excape, have terrified the small crowd of mutant horses you've been drawing daily
>Since you were frozen, you've become something of a fixture or statue in mutant-horse-town
>Kids take pictures with you regularly
>Your life is a lie
>Anyway, you go up to the crowd and grab one mutant horse by the mane, pulling his face up to yours

>"Ah! Aahh! Somebody help, he's got me!!!"
>Clearly the old Goatse folk-tales still circulate
"WHERE IS THE RED MAN?"
>"Who?! I don't know who you mean!!!"
"FUCKER QUIT PLAYING, HE WAS JUST HERE A WEEK AGO."
>"I wasn't here a week ago!"
>This one's useless, so your eat him up in one quick bite
"WHO KNOWS WHERE THE RED ONE IS."
>Some horses start crying and shit, one actually poops a little
>One filly raises her hand
>"Uh, you mean Big Macintosh?"
>Forget walking, you moonwalk over to that cunt
"WHERE."
>"He's over at Sweet Apple Acres!"
>Well there it is
>It's on now
>You can't just confront this fucker out of the blue; you have to trap him
"AND WHAT ABOUT GRANDMA?"
>The filly shreiks a little, poops a little, and then tells you
>"Who, Granny Smith? She passed on a while ago..."
>You toss her way up into the sky, then jump up exactly the same height to meet her in the clouds
"FUCKING WHERE!!!"
>"AAAHHHH! AHH! IN THE GRAVEYARD, IN THE GRAVEYARD!!!"
>You grab the horse by the vagina and throw it right the fuck down into ponyville, causing a mushroom-cloud explosion that likely takes out all of Sugarcube Corner
>SUPER SAYAN
>You fly over and down to the cemetery, where Granny Smith's grave is
>God, she's six feel under
>But never fear!
>You're handily equipped with your trusty dirt-suckin' straw! tm

>You pull your dirt-suckin' straw out of your back pocket and insert it soundly into your poop-chute
>BEGIN SUCK CYCLE
>Your intense anus starts just sucking pounds and pounds of delicious soil from the earth like the big sucky devastator monster in Transformers 2
>It's so delicious
>This will make the most splendifferous mouth-poopy later
>But now you have business to take care of
>Soon, the grave is totally empty
>BUTT
>You can't seem to shut off the ass-engines
>It just keeps sucking
>At this rate your crazy behind is gonna suck up the coffin
>And it does
>Seeing as you can't stop it, you simply let Granny Smith's resting box pass up through your colon, and then up, out of your mouth
>Along the way it gets coated in a fine amount of semen and fecal matter
>feelsgoodman
>But you rush to the coffin and open it up to resurrect her lifeless corpse.

>You pull the ancient life-medallion out of your infinite back pocket and dangle it over her lifeless, maggot-ridden face
"Anima... adere.... animous... corpous.."
>(Loosely stolen from Hellboy)
>Granny smith coughs herself to life immediately
>As with all resurrections, she is absolutely writhing with pain from her already-decomposing body
>"AAAAAHHHHH!!! *COUGH COUGH*, AHHH! WHO ARE YOU, WHAT DO YOU WANT, WHERE AM AHH!!!!"
"Hey, Granny, I was just wonderi-"
>"AHHHH! KILLL MEEE!!! KIIIIIIILLLLLLLL MEEEEEEE!!!!!"
"Well, you don't need to be that way about it. I just wanted to know your son's weak point."
>"HE'S QUEER AS BLAZES!!! QUEEEERRRR AS BLAAAZZESSSSS!!! NOW KILLL MEEE!!!! GAWWDD PLEEAASSEE LET ME DIEEEEEEE!!!!"
"Oh, cool. Thanks, granny."
>You do a massive hulk-jump back to central ponyville; there's something else you need to pick up before you make a move on Big Mac
>As you fly away, you can faintly hear Granny Smith crying, "KIIIIILLLLLL MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! PLLLEEEEEEAAAAASSSEEEE!!!!!"

* * *

"NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA!! I'M ONE HUNDRED PERCENT NIGGA!!!"
>Avout half-way though the song, Big Macintosh visibly peeks his head through the window
>Gotcha
>As planned, you begin to wag Applebitch's dead body, which you retrieved nobly, around like got-damn fool
"OOH BIG BROTHER, I WANT YOUR SEMEN INSIDE ME BROTHER, OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH BBBBROROOOOOOOOOTHERRRRRR."
>As expected, big Macintosh turns his head away in disgust
>Now, phase three comes into play
>Out from behind your legs, you pull your huge, throbbing meatpole, ready for action
>Holding both of Applebitch's front hooves up in the air with each hand, you successfully hide your body behind her rotting corpse, whilst simultaneously making her look like she's standing up on two legs, like she's people
>You thrust your man meat in between her legs loosely, giving the spectacular illusion that Applejack, in fact, has a penis
>Big Macintosh takes another pity-glance out the window, but his jaw drops when he sees this
>"AHH'M 'A COMIN', SIS!"
>Out the door busts a steaming red sex machine

>Dick's already erect, swinging between and knocking against his back hooves, and scraping against rocks on the ground below
>Shit's crazy, he's hung like a god damn pony
>As he pulls up to you, next to the apple tree you were using as cover, he skids back on his ass and draws a slow halt, quarter-chubbed dick dragging between his fabulous glutes.
>Upon having a closer look at Applejack, he grows suspicious of the maggots in her bellybutton and her lack of a right eye, among other things
>"Hmmm... Now sis, yall' sure this ain't a trick?"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH BROTTTHERRRRRRRRR"
>"Hmmm... only reason Ah ask is on accounn'a yall' suddenly comin' back from the dead, an... growin' male genitals an' such... seems a might unlikely."
"BROOOOOOOOOOTHEEEEERRRRRRRR I WANNA FUCK MY BROOOOOOOTHERRRRR INCEEEEEEESTUALLLYYYYYYYYYYYY."
>"Well hot dawg, sis, thassall ya' hadda' say!"

>Big Mac turns around in the blink of an eye, presenting his anus to you
>Okay, it looks magnificent
>You might as well have some fun whilst you're executing the plan
>COMMENCE DIGRESSION
>Que penetration
>"AAAAaaaahhh, sis..."
"FUCK UP YOU BIG RED POOPY."
>You thrust the whole of your god-given sex organ into his tight bootyhole
>Your semi-flaccid penis snakes all the way through his intestines, up through his esophagus, and out of his mouth
>Give 'em a show
>"Ahhww YES, sis, GIMMIE THAT DICK!!!
>Now's time for the kicker
>You spaghetti your dick'w way back through Big mac's body and initiate Phase B.
>Out of your anus magically appears a stick of dynamite
>BOOP, UPPA DA BUTT
>You run away from that fucker like a happy child from a freshly lit firework
>Once safely behind an apple tree, far away, and listen, gleefully, to your nemesis' reaction
>"What's wrong, sis, keep goin!"
>Nothing
>Big Mac unbuttons his fucking gay eyelids to see that both you and his rotting whore sister are gone

>"Ahh... ahh, ahh, Ahh, AHHH, AAAAHHHHH NAAAWWWWW!!! AHHHH NAAAAAWWW AHH NAW!!! AH NAW AH NAW AH NAAAAWWWWW!!!!"
>Big Mac starts writhing around in fear and pain and screaming as he recognizes the stick of explosives lodged directly in his rectum
>The shit's hilarious
>Reaching into your anus, you retrieve that bag of popcorn you got earlier, because you knew you were gonna need it
>You and dead appleslut chow down, watching her big brother flip a shit
"PUSSY!!!"
>"AAAAAAHHHHH NAAAWWWWW AH NAW AH NAAAAWWWWW!!!!!!"
>After about fifteen minutes of this shit, the dynamite finally blows its stack
>It's beautiful
>Singed blood, meat and fecal matter are everywhere
>A bit lands on dead Applejack's flank
>You dip a finger in and taste it
"Chickeny"
>You MC HAMMER your way to the still panicking top-half of the corpse
>A big shit is taken on its face
>"AAAHHH NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"That's what you get for being from the south, asshole."
>That's probably not why you pulled off this whole elaborate murder plot in the first place, but you forgot what it was
>Something about pee-pee
>Anyway Big Mac dies

-END-