martini 28

The final chapter in the Martini series

by Deathproofpony


A word first:

I sincerely thank everyone for following along with Martini, Big Man, Frank, Bret Hipster and rest of the gang’s activites in these stories I’ve written over the last several months. This is a wonderful outlet and has actually helped to improve my writing on other projects.

It’s amazing to me that I could come up with a character like Martini and now find complete strangers referencing him like I would Peter Venkman or Snake Plissken. The internets are truly a place of wonders. I was shocked and delighted when fan art of Martini started appearing a few months ago. Amazing.

Suffice it to say: you can’t please everyone. There will always be people who don’t like the chatacters or think there’s too much unnecessary violence or who think I made Martini a Mary Sue. It is what it is. I just write this stuff as it comes to me, good or bad. Grimdark or hugbox. I rarely plan anything out beyond a couple of paragraphs.

That being said, I hope everyone enjoys this final chapter. Some of you will not. Some of you won’t care either way. But I hope there’s a little something for everyone.

And so…




When we last left our breeders, Bret Hipster and The Scott - Martini’s first owner (an obnoxious 18 year old druggie) - had just kicked in the door of the breeding facility.

BIG MAN (Jim) and Frank finally had enough of this bullshit and were ready to take a stand.

Bret and Scott had a fluffy with them… an angry mare named Blaze whose foals had died and then she was bullied by other mares. Scott butchered those mares’ foals and took Blaze in.

Martini, already sitting on the counter, stood next to Jim. Frank, on Jim’s orders, set loose Boromir, Faramir, Skyfall and Jester.

Referencing Stand By Me, of all things, Jim set Martini loose.

“Sic balls.”

Shit just got real.


>Jim, deceptively quick for his size, charged forward and swung at Bret, who ducked it.
>Jim’s large fist hit the wall, cracking the drywall
>Frank tried to take out the greasy teenager quick. He had fifteen years and sixty pounds on him
>he grabbed Scott in a half-assed bear hug but only got one of Scott’s arms. he used the other to elbow Frank in the face
>Boromir got to Blaze first. he reared up, looking like a proud mustang, if only for a brief second
>the hearts of a few mares in the room leapt as they saw the strong, able-bodied Boromir  drill his hooves into Blaze’s face
>”OWIES! bwaze cwush yo speshul pwace!”
>her nose bleeding, Blaze leapt with surprising accuracy over Boromir and headbutted him in the balls. he collapsed to the floor, gagging
>Jim swung his huge hands at Bret but the skinny hipster was too quick, ducking lefts and rights.
>then he pulled the gun
>it was a snub-nosed .38 - not a lot of stopping power but more than enough to drop anyone in the room
>”You cowardly fuck.”
>”Oh, come on, Jim… I’ll bet you think you’re bulletproof.”
>Jim grabbed Bret’s wrist, forcing the gun away from the crowd
>”Shoot these cocksuckers!” screamed Scott, still trying to hold old off Frank
>it was not too difficult… Frank was already starting to wheeze. his extra weight pressed against his lungs
>Blaze and Boromir continued exchanging blows until Faramir and Skyfall joined in.
>now three on one, they kicked and bit at Blaze, who was getting exponentially more pissed off
>and a pissed-off mare, even a fluffy one, is a dangerous thing.
>”NAOW BWAZE WEALLY GIBVE HUWTIES!”
>she charged forward, knocking Skyfall on his ass and grinding her front hooves into Boromir’s side.
>some blood sprayed from his mouth as he gasped for breath, then fell to the ground
>Blaze was on him in an instant… biting his ears and face, stomping on his head over and over
>he lay there in a bloody mess with the panting Blaze standing over him. Skyfall knocked her away, trying to defend the dying earth pony
>Faramir, his eyes wet with tears, nuzzled Boromir’s neck
>”bowomee? bowomee pwease get up! GET UP!”
>”nuu… fawamee… haff bad huwties. get up no mo. wuv you bwutha…”
>his eyes fluttered as he coughed up some more blood. it oozed from the corner of his mouth
>”i wud haff fowwowed you my bwotha… my captain… my king…”
>Boromir’s eyes closed. Faramir’s head hung low, a large tear dripping down his cheek to the floor
>he gritted his teeth and charged at Blaze, meaning to avenge his fallen brother…
>only to get kicked in the side inadvertantly by Scott
>he struggled with Frank, the two of them exchanging punches and looking more like two bad pro wrestlers trying to lock up
>Scott’s foot kicked randomly, trying to get Frank in the knee but instead knocking Faramir backwards across the room
>Blaze swung a hoof at Skyfall, stunning him momentarily. she pulled him to the floor and raised a hoof over his head, meaning to end him
>”Do you wanna know how I got these scars?”
>”bwah?”
>*WHAM* Jester, having snuck around the entire melee, her fractured mind driving her actions
>she had slowly, silently turned and kicked Blaze in the head with her rear legs - a harder shot but more damaging.
>Blaze shook her head, two large imprints on the side of her head
>”yuu… yuu meanie fwuffy!”
>the disfigured mare grinned and laughed. Skyfall, struggling to his feet, nodded to Jester
>she returned the nod and jumped on Blaze’s back, stomping and biting like a crazed midget on meth
>Martini had staye out of the fight up to now, perhaps rightly so. he was still sore from being whipped by Big Man for trying to go to Spaghetti Land
>he sat in a corner, sobbing slightly, until the gun went off. the bullet hit the ceiling harmlessly but the sound snapped him out of his funk
>Martini charged forward and immediately got under Bret’s legs.
>he was not a large animal, only fifteen pounds or so, but as anyone with cats knows - they get underfoot and you’re going down
>Bret tripped over the lime green Unicorn, stumbling forward and practically landing in Jim’s arms
>he still kept a firm grip on the pistol, though, and squeezed off another two shots randomly
>with the noise and confusion, they were vaguely aware of a screech at the back of the room but no one could investigate
>Frank, now gasping for breath, cursed his asthma and felt around desperately for something, anything to be a weapon
>he was on his hands and knees, trying to block Scott’s kicks.
>the laughing teenager stood over him, delivering boot after boot to his face, stomach and chest.
>under the big table, he felt the fire extinguisher… and smiled broadly at Scott.
>”What… what are you smiling…”
>*WHANG*
>Frank swung the fire extinguisher, driving it into Scott’s knee. the screaming teenager dropped to his side, holding his knee
>Frank struggled to his feet and spit at the now crying supposed badass
>”Flame off, fuckface.”
>he punched Scott right in the nose, breaking it. blood sprayed everywhere and he fell to the floor, grasping his face
>”owwwwwwww… owwwwww… owieeeeeees… nu mo huwty…”
>”Christ, kid, you sound like one of them.”
>”He’s still got the gun! Stay down!”
>now back in reality, Frank dove behind the big stainless steel table
>his only hope was that Jim could either fire off the last three shots safely or get the gun away from the psycho
>”Come on, Jim! Fuck him up!”
>Bret, his adrenaline rising, punched Jim in the balls and managed to get the gun free again
>”Kill you… kill you both. Then I fuck every one of these shitballs to death. I fucking rape them until they die screaming.”
>”FUCK… YOU!”
>Jim swung at Bret, putting everything he had into it…
>and missed. Bret was a crazy asshole, but he did cardio like a motherfucker. he hadn’t even need a second wind yet
>Bret leveled the pistol at Jim
>”Fucking destroyed my scooter, ruined my relationship, got me arrested…”
>”All… your… fault. You broke in. You took our property. You butchered all those fluffies.”
>”ALL I WANTED WAS TO GET A PIECE OF PETA ASS! and maybe torture a few fluffies to death because I fucking hate them…”
>he cocked the hammer back on the pistol
>”Goodbye, BIG MAN.”
>Martini had gotten under his feet again… Bret tripped, the gun going off.
>finally seeing a chance, Jim slammed Bret’s wrist against the doorway, knocking the gun to the floor
>he held a foot above Bret’s face, considering his options
>”nu bigman… yu end up wiff bad wady.”
>Jim looked to Martini and nodded.
>”For Alex.”
>instead of kicking Bret’s head in and killing him, he kneeled down and delivered a few punches to the hipster’s face, knocking him out.
>”Fluffies shouldn’t be smarter than me, Martini.”
>”mawtini nu smawty… mawtini… hate… smawties…”
>he coughed once, blood spraying from his mouth
>”Oh Jesus fuck. He’s been shot.”
>Frank, now emerging from behind the table, surveyed the scene.
>he kicked the pistol into the other room, then kneeled over Martini, stroking his fluff
>”I hit the alarm button for the cops. Soon as they get here take him to the vet. Use my credit card.”
>Jim nodded silently, a tear in his eye.
>Blaze, laying on the floor, gnashed her teeth at the two remaining humans and their fluffies
>”I’m tempted to make this bitch a breeder.”
>”No, Frank. Not this one.”
>Jim looked at the fluffies on the floor, who were now surrounding Martini
>”Finish her.”
>Skyfall, Jester and Faramir immediately ganged up on Blaze, pummeling her.
>they made it quick. instinctively they knew she was a bad fluffy, but she was made that way, not born bad.
>”Oh god… another one…”
>”What? Oh, shit… they got Sunset. It’s bad, too…”
>Sunset laid in her cage, a bullet lodged in her lung. she was barely breathing.
>with a gentleness rarely seen by man or animal, Jim gingerly picked her up and laid her next to Martini
>”She’s hurt real bad, boy… I don’t think we can save her…”
>”maw… mawtini wuv sunset.”
>”sunset *cough* wuv mawtini. sowwy… sowwy… nu haff babehs yet.”
>”mawtini wuv sunset… and babehs…”
>she smiled and closed her eyes. they would not re-open.
>Martini sobbed silently to himself. it hurt to cough, to cry, to move.
>”Cops are here.”
>”All right, I’m on the road. Tell them I’ll give a statement at the vet’s.”
>Frank nodded and slapped Jim on the back as the big man picked up Martini and Sunset, hurrying out the door with them
>Frank sat on the floor between Scott and Bret, tending to a slight nosebleed he’d gotten, wondering how this had gotten so fucked up
>he wished he still had Snowdance.
>he started laughing… hysterically at first, then breaking down into uncontrollable crying


EPILOGUE

>Jim finished packing up the tackle box and grabbed his fishing poles. He was about to close shop when the old man walked in
>”Aw, damn… you closin’?”
>”I can stay open for a few minutes, old timer… what you need?”
>”Just some nightcrawlers… used to catch ‘em myself but now my knees… goddammed arthritis. Can’t bend down so good.”
>”No problem, no problem… Martini!”
>”ya dada?”
>”Nightcrawlers.”
>the unicorn picked up a plastic container from a cooler in the back with his mouth and carried it to Jim
>”Be a buck thirty five.”
>the old man paid and leaned down to pet Martini.
>”Nice little fella you got here. A real helper, eh?”
>”He’s a good boy.”
>”Lost a little fluff on this side, though… he looks uneven! heh heh.”
>”Yeah, got in a little accident and they had to shave that side. Much better now though.”
>”You all have a nice day.”
>”You too, old timer.”
>Jim flipped the closed sign around and grabbed his tackle box, poles and a backpack
>”we go fish!”
>”Yeah. First you get your life jacket on, THEN we fish.”
>”no dwown fo mawtini!”
>”That’s right… no drowing for you.”
>”dada tawk mistah fwank?”
>”Yeah, he emailed me last week. He got a new male earth pony. A white one named Snowdance.”
>”dat pwetty name.”
>”Yeah, it is.”
>they exited the little bait shop. the sign over the door readin “Martinis and Master Baiters”
>Jim had a fucked up sense of humor, but Martini liked it just fine.
>he waddled down the path to the dock with the big man, the sun just beginning to set over Lake Erie.
>”i wuv you, dada.”
>”I love you, Martini.”