9gag comedian

Comedian: "Some questions are just offensive to ask. For instance, if you wanna know if someone is indian or pakistani, it's okay to go 'Are you indian or pakistani?', but it's always offensive to ask 'So which one are you?'"
Heckler: "That's so racist."

C: "Yeah."

H: "Why are you being racist?"

C: "I just pointed out, that racism exists, not being-, you know the jokes were a lot better when I didn't have to explain them."

H: "You have been racist all night long and you have been directing everything against me this evening."

C: "You really picked a weird moment to do this, lady."

H: "The entire reason you blink at me is like you want my approval or something."

C: "Of course I want your approval, I'm a fucking comic, that's psychology 101. There's cameras on me, have you not fucking noticed?"

H: "Oh so you're picking the brown girl, make the brown girl-"

C: "Oh fucking bullshit, I didn't even go there, get fucked, you brought that up. I'm not racist, 'cause if you were a fucking white chick I'd want to cut you a new one, bollocks!"

H: "I'm sorry, you have been offensive, I'm just sitting. You dress like a Zulu in the front of my nose."

C: "Wait, wait, wait, I've got one for that, hang on, hang on. She just threw me a lot, I'm ready for that. She said dressing up as a Zulu, that's racist, wait, wait, wait, but what if you're going to a fancy dress party for things beginning with Z?"

C: "Oh come on, why are you here? Get the fuck out, bollocks, you are the fucking racist, bullshit, fuck off. I want my fucking tenner back!"

H: "[inaudible] bullshit!"

C: "Yeah, tell your story walking, get fucked."