7 Portraits of a Spooky Night

Your name is Mirg, and it is October 31st, 2021. There are no more real DF players in the DF servers, only apes. There is no more discussion, only sharing of Pastebins and AstralCodexDFGaming Videos. Voice chat is always occupied by some ape streaming Inevitable Equilibrium while 3ach gives turn by turn instructions in #voice-text. Repeatedly calling the apes CRINGE AND BAD does nothing to dissuade them. At least you don’t play the game anymore, a fact that you repeated at least 8 times tonight, and at least the apes pay you to draw them bigger and bigger breasts on random DF characters. You return to drawing yet another Isiri portrait for $25. It is Halloween of 2021, and it is a spooky night.

Your name is TheJeffGang, and it is October 31st, 2021. You’ve been JEFF OWNED AND BANNED from three DF servers tonight for being JEFF CRINGE AND BAD. Regardless of what you say, people repeatedly shout you down and get you banned. You can’t seem to beat anything without food or extra pots, and all your videos are immediately improved upon on release. Every single epoch is auto killed in the latest inn Challenge. You join yet another DF server, hoping to learn how to beat it. It is Halloween of 2021, and it is a spooky night.

Your name is Cosine, and it is October 31st, 2021. You are stuck editing the ChronoZ Endgame wiki for the last 8 hours. No matter how many facts you document about it, something new and horrifying and eldritch is discovered right after. The names of the moves have been renamed more times than you can count. Five other pages have been vandalized by the latest vandal with yet another copypasta, but you do not have the attention or spare energy to care. You must finish this crusade before you sleep. You make yet another edit and save it. It is Halloween of 2021, and it is a spooky night.

Your name is AstralCodex, and it is October 31st, 2021. You try to make videos for other people to help them improve at DragonFable, but all that is left of the DragonFable community is 357 apes. You know the exact number because that is exactly how many views each of your latest videos has received. Unfortunately, there are bigger matters to deal with - your latest video has gone (((outdated))) 6 times before release. Sighing, you rerecord ChronoZ Life and Death for the 7th time. None of the changes matter, but you must do what you can to keep your videos updated. You pray to the Avatars that the class isn’t changed while you sleep. It is Halloween of 2021, and it is a spooky night.

Your name is Dove, and it is October 31st, 2021. As an artist, your work in DragonFable has never been better. But you can’t shake that whisper in your ear. ‘Kara x Akanthus’, you swear you hear, as you walk around an empty street in your Polish City. ‘You must reimagine the collaring scene,’ says the cat on the wall. Looking down at the floor, you think you see ‘You’ll never release Fleshwweaver unless Karakanthus is canon’, before you blink it away. You hope Verly is having a better day. It is Halloween of 2021, and it is a spooky night.

Your name is Verlyrus, and it is October 31st, 2021. You haven’t slept in two days because of the damned ChronoZ Freeze bug. You know you’ve almost done it. You’ve tracked down 6 possible causes and eliminated them all. You’ve rewritten the entirety of the ChronoZ Class Code and half of the DF Engine from scratch and force pushed it to live, but yet ChronoZ still freezes on death. Your changes have somehow caused the Inn Shops to open and close randomly, but you can fix that later, you tell yourself. For the fourth time since the sun has set, you think of relabelling it a ‘feature’ and going to sleep, but you are committed. You stay your course, and begin your second rewrite of the CZ combo tracker. It is Halloween of 2021, and it is a spooky night.

Your name is Cysero, and it is October 31st, 2021. You have a niggling sense in your mind that DragonFable is going to crap, but it doesn’t matter, because your latest loot box idea just made your company hundreds of millions and guaranteed you a 7 figure bonus. Oh! Wait! You can port over V1 and Inventory Slots too! Maybe in your spare time tonight you can convince your good friend Artix to put V1 back into DragonFable for $100 - after all, you did hear that AQ3D is cash strapped again, and he did seem sympathetic. Actually, wait! You can also just make the next $65 HeroMart promotional hoody class have a GPS autokill bug in all of the AE games; that would really help Artix fund the current AQ3D expansion. Giggling as you brush your hair from your eyes, you think of all the player suffering that has yet to be monetized. It is Halloween of 2021, and it is a great night.