Operation Silence Fluffies

1/3
>Don't have fluffy ponies.
>Don't really hate them.
>Just don't want to put up with the bullshit.
>Neighbor has three fluffies.
>You DO hate those three.
>Noisiest fluffy ponies you've ever seen.
>Neighbor leaves them outside in his fenced yard all day.
>They laugh as they play.
>They cry when they get hurt.
>They squeal as they chase each-other around the yard.
>They are never quiet.
>Not just being anal...you've met other fluffies and they're not this loud.
>You've tried to live with it.
>Went outside, tried to get them to play quiet games.
>What's wrong with hide and seek?
>Fluffy ponies somehow make even that into a loud game.
>Ask neighbor to keep them inside during the day.
>He thinks that would be cruel to the fluffies.
>Dumbass.
>You're not just being an asshole.
>You work at night.
>You have every bit as much right to sleep as anyone else.
>You have to take this into your own hands.

2/3
>Operation Silence Fluffies.
>Go to the costume shop.
>Rent human sized fluffy pony suit.
>It's not very convincing, but fluffies are epically stupid.
>Cook up treats.
>Spaghetti, but with meatsauce.
>Meat is not good for fluffy pony digestion.
>They'll eat it because they're dumb though.

>Go out to back yard.
>Stupid neighbor fluffies run to fence happily.
>"New fwiend?" "Pway!"
"No...no pway. Haf nummies!"
>Emmulate their stupid fluffy speech patterns.
>Fluffies cheer and hop around in excitement.
>"Yay! New fwiend gif nummies!"
>Hand plate of spaghetti over fence.
>Neighbor's fluffy ponies gobble it down, meat & all.

Visit every day that week...
>Gradually introduce more meat into their mid-day meal.
>Meat makes fluffy pony shit reek.
>Mid day treats ruin fluffy appetite for nutritious food owner gives them.
>Neighbor is confused and angry when fluffy ponies don't eat.
>"Why aren't you eating your oats?"
>"Fwuffies not hungwy fo' mowe nummies."
>"Have you been taking treats from stranger humans?"
>Fluffies recoil in fear. "No stwangers!"
>"Then who's giving you food?"
>"Fwiend fwuffy gif good nummies!"
>Neighbor is confused...doesn't believe fluffies.
>Suit rental was a good idea.

3/3
>Neighbor begins keeping fluffy ponies inside.
>That won't stop your evil plan.
>Know where he keeps emergency key.
>Slip in once a day while he's at work.
>Continue feeding fluffy ponies.
>Introduce something new.
>Butt-Flo Fluffy Pony Laxative.
>Just a few drops.
>This, combined with meat in their diets will make neighbor's house smell horrendous.
>Wait until nightfall.
>Hear angry yelling, crying fluffy ponies.
>Fluffies overflowed the litter box.
>Crapped on the floor too.
>Meat has made their feces stink horribly.

>Continue the assault.
>In three days; success.
>See neighbor carrying box out to car.
>Plaintive crying from inside.
>"Sowwee daddy!" "Pwease don' sent fwuffy away!" "Sowwee fow poopies!"
>Neighbor says nothing.
>Comes back later without box.
>Hear later; he dropped them off at the worst fluffy pony shelter in town.
>Sweet sweet silence.
>You can finally sleep.
>Productivity increases at work.
>Raises, promotions.
>everythingwentbetterthanexpected.