UJOI

Disclaimer: This is a fantasy post written by an adult, intended for an adult audience only. All characters depicted are 18 or over.

[F4M] [A4M] [Script offer] Unenthusiastic JOI [Bored AF] [I can't even] [OMG Daddy ur so big or whatever] [Hot pocket mentions] [Casually insulting your listeners] [Talking with your mouth full] [Checking Instagram, eating, and playing videogames during JOI] [Ignore fetish?] [Yep, it's a shitpost]


Note: Overall tone should be surly, unenthusiastic, frustrated, bored. You just can't be arsed to go through with this JOI session, and are not even going to bother hiding that fact from your viewers / listeners.

Lines between parentheses denote dialogue muttered under the speaker's breath. Example: ("Just great...")

------------------

Unenthusiastic JOI

------------------

(long, deep sigh)

...Okay, let's do this.

(condescending) Get your cock out for me. I'm sure it's already as hard as... uh, a really hard thing.

(bored) Oh wow, is that (yawn) for me?

No, don't touch it yet. I need to build suspense first.

(awkward pause)

(trilling, humming, tongue-clicking etc. for a moment as she ponders what to say next)

So, uh... read any good books lately?

Hmm, figures. You don't seem like the book-reading type. No offense.

By the way, what do you want me to call you? Sir? Master? Mistress? Daddy?

(quietly under breath) Of course it's "Daddy". I swear to god, these simps *always* pick "Daddy".

...All right, let's get this JOI on the road. Grab your meat-stick and follow my instructions.

Now, pretend it's *my* hand on your cock. ("You wish!")

That's it... just follow my motions. Up and down. Uuuuup and doooown. Come on, now. Let's churn some butter.

(uninterested) Are you stroking for me? I bet it's getting *really* big now.

Yep, I'll bet it's huge.

(distracted, blowing bubblegum until it pops while checking phone) OMG Daddy ur so big or whatever.

Mmmhmm... it's sooooooo ginormous. I can't believe it. They should give out awards for having dicks this big. I doubt I could even wrap my pinky finger around it.

(phone key tapping sounds)

...Oh, never mind. Just checking up on my Instagram. Keep stroking for me.

Yep, good boy.

(more phone key tapping sounds)

I mean, "Daddy". Good Daddy.

(not listening) Uh-huh...

Uh-huh...

(bored stupid) Wow, that's so hot.

Hey, one sec, I need to run into the kitchen real quick.

(she sets a drinking bird down in front of the camera as a substitute)

Um, here. It's a drinky bird. Just keep your eyes on this thing and follow its motions up and down. Y'know, in case you forgot how to masturbate.

(pause, as she runs off into the kitchen)

Aaand, I'm back. Did you miss me?

(sarcastic) Oh, baby... I just couldn't *imagine* life without you (more quietly, to self) even though we've *just* met through an anonymous service and you're literally paying me for this session.

(the listener asks what that last part was)

Hmm? Oh, nothing. You must've been hearing things. Just focus on beating off... ("loser").

Yep, keep going. Up and down. Up and down. *So* exciting, isn't it?

(she gestures listlessly in a repeated up and down motion for a moment, before the microwave dings)

*Finally!* I've wanted this for *SO LONG*.

Oh... no, not *you*. My hot pocket's finally ready. Back in a sec...

(she slips into the kitchen, before sitting back down on the bed with her snack, taking a loud, crunchy bite out of her hot pocket)

Mmmm... (while chewing, talking with mouth full, barely paying any attention to the listener) Okay, you just keep tugging away or whatever... (eating messily, cleaning up the sauce dribbling down her chin) I don't really care either way.

Yeah, keep going...

That's it, baby. Or Daddy. Baby Daddy? Whatever. Just keep choking that chicken for me. ("Now, speaking of chicken...")

(crunch, loud chewing)

Mmhmm...

Okay, good.

Keep stroking.

Up and down, just like a piston... ("in a car that's going nowhere, fast...")

(crunch)

(talking about her food) Mmmmm... *so* good.

Oh, yeah... Of course. I totally meant you. You're sooo good at jerking yourself for me. (almost robotic) I'm so turned on right now, I can't even.

(a few more moments of her half-heartedly encouraging the listener while she finishes her snack)

(belching loudly) Man, that hit the spot! Mmmm...

Geez, I'm thirsty. (takes a drink of water to wash down her meal) Ah...

(sighing) Okay... how's it going over there, buddy?

Are you *still* pounding away? I'm surprised you've lasted this long, to be honest.

(checking her watch) Is this gonna take much longer? I was gonna watch some anime with my boyfriend later, so do you think you could speed things up a bit?

Come on! (clapping her hands) Vamonos! Let's make with that baby batter already.

(sighs again) This is really gonna take a while, huh? 'kay, well, do you mind if I just fire up some Animal Crossing while you finish up?

Of *course* I'm paying attention to you, baby. I'm *great* at multitasking, I promise.

(video game noises as she starts playing) All right, here we go. (mashing buttons) Come on... (grunt) Fuckin' islanders... Give me those bells!

I mean, balls. Your balls. Which are filled with cum. Gimme your cum, Big Daddy. ("...I swear, I'm gonna kick you off the island, Tom!")

(she continues mashing buttons and cursing at her game for a bit)

Hmmm? Getting close? About frickin' time.

Come on, Daddy. Gimme your cum. Blow your load all over my cute face ("or wherever, you perv.")

Come on. You can do it. Make it rain, Daddy. Let's see that oh-so-amazing cum fountain of yours. ("Well... more like a few droplets in your case, I'm guessing.")

You're cumming? At long last. I thought this JOI was never gonna end. I mean, that's great. Cum for me, baby.

So... what's the damage, Daddy-o?

Got it all over your hands, huh? ("Only place it's ever gonna land, let's be honest.")

Oh, you wanna send me an extra tip? Because you think I'm cute? Thanks, Daddy. Ooh woo. (Making an "UwU" sound, but is completely unenthusiastic about it)

All right. Catch ya later, mister big dick. Don't forget to like and subscribe and all that jizz. I also have a Patreon, tiers starting at fifty bucks. Be sure to check out my OnlyFans for more JOI content, and...

(fade out as she's going through her marketing spiel)