Geminii27's method to find out what your purpose in life is

Geminii27's method to find out what you really want to do in life (both as a job and a lifestyle)


If you think everyone else seems to have a path, a goal, a purpose in life, and you don't know where they're getting theirs from, here's where. I sat down and worked this out when I was in my thirties, so it's not like I knew what I wanted right out of school either. I will note that this technique works better the more life experiences you've had (jobs, careers, workplaces, personal situations, living in different areas, etc), so as a rough rule of thumb it'll work better the older you are. It _might_ work if you're under 25, depending on what kind of life you've had.

But you're not here to listen to backstory. Here's how to get your goal, the same way I did.


FIRST, write down all the different jobs, living situations, relationships, bosses, co-workers, workplaces, and just about any other circumstance you've been in. If you're young, various kinds of classes/subjects/teachers, groups of friends, and/or any home life changes probably count, although the fewer jobs you've had, the less this is going to point you to a better job. Go do some crappy jobs or volunteer at a couple of places and come back when you have that experience under your belt.

SECOND, make two columns (or lists, or groups, or... whatever. Just make two of them). These are going to be "Stuff I liked" and "Stuff I didn't like".

THIRD, for each of the items you wrote down in the first step, think about everything associated with it which was pretty good, and put it in Column A, and everything which sucked about it, and put that in Column B. Note especially here that this is NOT limited to mostly-objectively good/bad things like salary, vacation time, or living in an economically depressed neighborhood. Put those things down, sure, but these columns are going to be about 90% based on what you felt rather than calculated. Did something make you happy, depressed, angry, energetic...? Pick a column and stick it down there. Note also that duplicates and repetition are A-OK: if two different jobs both had the same aspect that you really liked or hated, absolutely write that down twice. Even if it's stupidly trivial, write it down. Maybe a workplace was too cold, or there was Jim from Accounting who had that goadawful laugh... or you loved that you got to walk home past amazing scenery, or that you got to do both sales AND supervising, or that the boss always had your back no matter what. Write it all down; every last thing.

FOURTH, you now have two probably-ginormous columns of all kinds of things you experienced in your life, divided roughly into Like and Hate, and by this point you're likely already past the halfway mark on this thing. Because what you're going to do now is you're going to look down each column, and look for PATTERNS. These might be simply entries which get repeated a bunch, or they might be a set of things which are very similar, or they might be things which logically group together or are associated with each other. Some entries might be part of more than one pattern; some might not be part of a pattern at all. That's OK. Take your time, just see if anything bubbles to the surface or jumps out at you. You might even want to take a break, go for a walk, have a snack, let it all marinate in your subconscious for a while. I know that when I did it originally, I discovered a couple of things about myself I hadn't known before (mostly, that I actually got a kick out of helping people), but which made sense when looking at all the data of my life spread out in front of me. Also, you might find yourself realizing new patterns over the next couple of days - don't worry, you can always come back here and refine your results.

FIFTH, you now have a bunch of patterns, groupings, sets, whatever you want to call them, which pretty much tell you what your subconscious likes and doesn't like. This is your key to your goal. It's all very well to have a personal/career goal which is socially approved and great on paper, but if you don't actually _like_ doing it, it'll be slow going and you'll hate yourself the whole time. So what you do next is you start thinking about what kinds of jobs AND what kinds of lifestyles involve doing or having a lot of the stuff you just found out you like, and the minimum possible of the stuff you dislike. Your subconscious can't tell the difference between your job and your free time; as long as you have the good stuff _somewhere_ in your life your brain will be happy.

Now, it's true, it's not always easy to think up what kinds of jobs (or lifestyles) might have bunches of the stuff you like. It took me a while, just chewing it over, to come up with a shortlist (and yes, I tweaked it over the following couple of days after I'd slept on it). So don't worry if you can't immediately think of a jillion possibilities right away. (Or maybe you can! In which case, great! Jump right to the next step!)

SIXTH, you now have a randomized shortlist of various jobs, careers, and lifestyles which really super-duper appeal to your brain. I'm going to go out on a limb here and bet that pretty much all of them are better than what you're currently doing. Well, good, because that's the point. Now for each item on the list, write down at least one way (if not more) to get to there from where you are. If it needs resources you don't have - money, time, education/certifications, tools, whatever - write those down too. You might need a million dollars for one option and a thousand for another; doesn't matter. Write down the things you'd have to do, the barriers you'd have to overcome, to get to there from here. Even if it's "win the lottery" or "get kidnapped by aliens". Doesn't matter. If you're not sure, leave it; you might think of something later. Just put down what comes to mind for the moment.

SEVENTH, put that shortlist of options into the order of how badly you want them. Doesn't matter if some of them are totally impossible. Just order them by which one you'd want most if you were flat-out offered the no-strings chance to have one or the other (but not both).

EIGHTH, you now have a Goal List. You can change, update, and add to it at any point, but this is your Goal List. These are the things you want most in life. You are now going to start _using_ that list, and this is how you are going to do it:

Whenever you have a choice in life, from now on - doesn't matter if it's big or small - you're going to think about your Goal List, and you're going to consider if you can make a choice - right here, right now, no matter how small - to advance towards one of the items on your List. If you have a choice between multiple items, consider the one highest on your list as your priority. Now sure, not every choice every day is going to bring your #1 option closer - but you might be able to take a step towards your #2, or #3... or heck, even your #10 if your list is long enough. Doesn't matter. Because from now on, every time you have a spare five bucks, or a spare hour you don't know what to do with, you now have your List.

Now, I'm not saying you have to throw every spare dollar and minute at advancing yourself; that's a good way to get real tired real fast. But with your List, you now at least have _options_. You have goals you can work towards: ones that you have absolute real, genuine, personal desires to make happen.

And the funny thing is... all those little choices and spare moments? They add up. And with your List, they're now all pointed in pretty much the same direction, rather than being random. You'll find yourself looking at things through the lens of the List - "Will this help me get what I want?" - and always having _something_ to work towards, _some_ goal you're advancing, some coherent reason behind the choices you make.


Oh.

Hey.

Look at that.


That life purpose looks good on you.