Sep 18, 2018
I think I'm
Being flirted with irl
This is
New
I dunno
First time was basically complete stranger sidles up and starts trying to small talk me, and if you know anything about my socials skills you know that didn't go well. Regardless-
He still always takes the time to talk to me. Everyday. At least a hi once per day. Even when we don't have the same class.
He abandoned his group in one class to join mine. He gave no reason. Other girls didn't ask. He was just in our midst suddenly.
Kept standing particularly close to me. Small talk returned. Rarely, if ever, engaged in conversation with any of the group besides me. Lotta weird eye contact.
Also jokes. Like he shot this comedy routine at me over the course of an hour. A tame, soft joke about a fork. Showing me a Garfield eldritch abomination. An offensive joke. Drawing a male organ in the flour on the table. Danny Devito jokes.
I really don't know for sure. Maybe he's just being friendly. Exceptionally friendly. It's weeeeeeiiiirrrrrrdddddd for meeeeeeeeeeeee I don't understaaaaaaannndddd
Bleh
He's not unattractive at all
He's what I'd call cute if i wasn't so like, unwilling in regards to romance
Not exactly swooning over what I've seen of his personality I gotta confess
Mmm
I'm steadfastly uninterested if he's legitimately coming on to me
I'm just not in a state for romance even with someone I was head over heels with, mentally or emotionally

September 20th, 2018

Update the Flirt is all but confirmed he asked me to "hang out this weekend" and i shot him down
Tried to be polite but like
"Do you wanna hang out this weekend?"
"I don't think i can."
"Protective parents?"
"A variety of reasons."
(Insert verbal stumbling and pausing in my sentences)
Also he's like a
Sophomore I think?
Which isn't BAD but would be even more of a disconnect in all honesty

September 24th, 2018

God help flirt boi won't get the hint he's bringing his friends over to meet me right now HELP I HATE THIS
"Do you have friends?
"Yes"
"Am I one of them?"
We've spoken 4 times max and I've been clearly standoffish each time what Do You Think
I DON'T EVEN KNOW HIS NAME I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM AND HE'S DOING THIS


October 1st, 2018
"You know Harambe?" ~Flirtboi

H
H
H
H
H

To clarify
I have nothing against people that find old memes funny still and think it's dumb to give them junk for it
But
At the same time
Do not
Ever
Flirt with me
By invoking the name of a dead gorilla that happened to be an internet trend

October 18th, 2018
Today flirtboi came over with a dinosaur puppet over his hand and performed this entire comedy routine which wasn't actually a routine but actually just making risqué jokes as the dinosaur and he spilled a Drink of mine (which he did offer to clean up, ill give him that) and mimed having intercourse with various objects of my possession on the table and pretended to steal my phone and made a joke about samsung and jokingly asked me to show him my feet and unjokingly asked me if I watched NSFW stuff and I'm about done if I'm being honest

December 17th, 2018
Today we had a free period and flirtboi came over and i was forced to heavily imply i needed to do my math homework and his presence was conflicting with said act
He left! "I'll let you do that"
Then he came back. While i was still doing it. He even asked me if it was hard. He wouldn't go regardless of how much i stared at the paper and not him.
He talked to me about grunge bands in the 19 somethings entirely unprompted. This was tolerable.
Then
He says
"Can i show you some memes"
I tell him i need to finish Math
"I'll just show you a few, then"
Cannot stop him
Pretty tame, honestly. None of them were my sense of humor, but they weren't offensive. Maybe the one of the anime girl dabbing while holding a sign that said "there are only 2 genders the rest are mental illnesses." That one was pretty bad. Regret not just going on a rant about intersex people and gender spectrums for the sole purpose of scaring him off. H
Then he pulled out his offensive memes
And referred to them as that
And showed me a video
Of a door opening to reveal a naked woman dancing
He seemed to interpret my barely concealed revulsion of everything he stood for as merely distaste for the "meme"
And then proceeded to show me more
All while my math homework sat before us, 90% of my attention focused on it
I'm gonna climb across my desk and maul him like a wild animal not by choice merely by pure instinct alone im just gonna lose myself and wake up throwing erasers at him
Also he said no homo today and combined with the two genders thing i might really have some method to scaring him off by adopting extremist left wing views while also casually dropping in that I could be considered a lesbian

December 20th, 2018
On the same day that flirtboi showed me that MEME you shouldn't show someone unless you know their sense of humor incredibly well or don't care about their thoughts or feelings at all
He asked me, knowing full well i sit alone at lunch everyday, "do you mind if i come and sit next to you?
And, channeling all of my power to give a solid, straight answer for once
I said
"Yes."
As in, yes, i mind
He pressured me for a why
I didn't give one
The bell rang, and though he refused to walk to his next class or leave the room until he made me FIST BUMP HIM, regardless of the extra stalling and extra slow collection of my things, he dropped the subject.
The next day
Lunch
Happy that i told him To Stay Away for once
Thinking about it because he yelled a greeting to me from across the entire courtyard while i was walking in
Then he comes over anyway
I am, for the first time, genuinely angry at him
I am clipped. I am rude. I am abrupt. All of my answers are terse and tense and one syllable and coursed with all the venom i can muster without drawing attention to myself. For the first time, im never asked by him to repeat myself because my tone is level and audible and too annoyed to waver. I am staring at him instead of looking away every other second. Of course I'm all smiles because I can't unsmile regardless of what im feeling and its what dragged me this deep im sure and its sure not ditching me to make this easier now.
But
He gets it.
He asks me if i want him to go. To be straight with him.
I break. Not in anger. The anger is what breaks, specifically.
Look away. Look at everything. Voice is weak again.
"Maybe."
Frustration
But he leaves
I am relieved
Until next day when he talks to me again.
Both yesterday and today he hasnt come over to me at lunch, at least, but he's still talking to me.
Rapidly approaching being at a complete loss or just outright telling him i hate him as only options Pray For Me

March 5th, 2018
Return of flirt boi
Asked me to sit with his friends, whom he referred to as his boys and his dudes. Said I'd definitely like them.
Yeah
Proceeded to tell me what an incel was
Talked about how he thought college degrees didnt matter and how he hated our school because "we don't learn anything," oh is that so mr.freshman??????????
Also tried to ask me if i felt like a failure because he felt like a failure often and step off my territory with your venting i dont even know your name you couldn't list ten true things about me we have spoken a mere handful of times who do you think you are Go Away
Also said "hope you're ready to see a lot of me, i need to talk to you more!"
Went on to call me an outcast and how it's not out of pity. I think i was laughing at this point. Too much to unpack there to explain
Said my face made it seem like i wanted him to leave
Proceeded to rapidly try and assure me he wasn't insulting my face
"Just that expression makes me feel lije you're just waiting for me to leave?"
"Maybe."
He laughs
"'Maybe?' Well, i'm not gonna leave until i get a no out of y-"
"No."
Then he said something else i cant remember
And i told him
No
Again
And then he jokingly called me The Swear Word for Women and left
Starting to think he was briefly transported to an alternate universe where we were comfortable around each other and now he got warped back and doesn't realize it