Thread 88: Stories 31-45

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>DT
"SS"
~~~~

>Ugggh, I can't believe Spike didn't invite me! Can you believe him!? What a jerk!

"It's kind of crowded anyway."

>They can ALWAYS make room for me! Kick out one of the others, they don't need to be there!

"Wow."

>I'm serious! I mean, I'm DIAMOND TIARA, nuff said!

"...Yeah, got a point?"

>I mean, look at how awesome I am!

Without even looking, she picked up a glass from the table, and slugged it straight down.

>See that? I can drink a milk in one... ugh, that tasted like bad eggs... anyway, one uh... one... woo, my head...

"Thaaaat... was not milk. That was your dad's 'special' milk."

>...

"...This isn't going to end well, is it?"

>...Hee hee, yer' pretty.

"Damn it..."

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>Twilight
"Rarity"
'Pinkie'
~~~~

"Twilight? I'm noticing a lot of... wires, hanging around."

>Totally necessary.

"And quite a lot of hanging objects."

>Needed, of course.

"And of course there's the large, buzzing orb in the corner of the room."

>Vital like a heartbeat.

"...Are you sure this is safe?"

>Very well, I shall prove it... but I need, a VOLUNTEER!

"..."

'...What?'

>...

'Why are you all looking at me?... stop that... stop all looking at me!... Just, someone look the other way.'

>...

'...Oh, I get it, because it's Pinkie of COURSE she's going to offer up to be the one to do the crazy stuff, right!? Crazy old Pinkie will just do anything you say if you put it in front of her, will just leap right into the fire because it's all glowy, right!? Well, I'll have you know I'm very much not some silly little bug who flies into every light! I'm PINKIE PIE! I have hopes, dreams, feelings! And as Celestia as my witness, I shall-

"You moved into the center of the room a bit into your speech."

'...'

>And you've been chucking stuff at the 'on' button since then. Stop that, that's not how that works.

'...'

"Aaand, now you're drawing a bullseye on yourself, for some reason."

'...I think I have a problem...'

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>Silver Spoon
"DT"
~~~~
>...I guess you can say that eggnog went straight to your...noggin.

"...pffffttt heheheh"

>...wait, you thought that was funny?

"Yeah totally."

>...Are you tired because you have...bedroom eyes.

"Ha...hahaha."

>...Do you want to sing Don't Stop Believing? You look ready to go on a...journey.

"HAHAHAHA! Yer' a riot."

>*gasp* I'm funny...this might actually work out.

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>Nightlight
"Sombra"
'Velvet'
[2]
~~~~

>...

'...'

"...Please don't say anything."

>I'm trying really, really hard to.

'It's not easy.'

"She means well."

'Do you, really?'

[Gamma, I'm gonna be honest with ya', sometimes I do it just cause I wonder if he's gonna say somethin'.]

>...

'...'

"...I feel betrayed."

>PFFTT!

"BETRAYAL!"

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 >Dash
"AJ"
~~~~~~

>Hrm.... hrm... hrrmmm... hrmmm... hrmmmmmmmmmm... hrm.

"WILL YA'LL JUST PICK A CLASS ALREADY!?"

>...Hrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmm-

"DASH!"

>It's hard! I don't speak dorkaneise!

"Don't be racist!"

>Says APPLEJACK of all ponies!

"Ah'm not racist!"

>...

"Ah'm not!"

>Wow, you're being, what's the phrase... stubborn as a mule?

"Twilight said that!"

>Wait, seriously? What a dick move.

"Pick yer' dang class!"

>Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

"PICK!"

>That one.

"FINALLY! Race now!"

>...Computer! Give me the most awesome race!

"...."

>What?

"..."

>...Oh, uh... t-that's not to say I think a race can be LESS awesome, just... uh...

"..."

>Shit.

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NC
>Twilight
"AJ'
'Dash'
~~

>It... it's just based on statistics...

"..."

>This doesn't mean anyone is LESSER, just that, as far as OVERALL potential..

'...'

>Not that this means nobody else has as much potential, just that...

"..."

'...'

>...Oh Celestia what have I done...

[STOP USING MY NAME LIKE THAT!]

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NC
>Sweet Celestia, this is horrible!

[STOP IT!]

"In the name of Celestia, this'll never happen again!"

[CUT IT OUT!]

'Should I go with the taco or burrito? Celestia, give me a sign!'

[THAT'S IT! EVERYONE DIES!]

>SAVE US CELESTIA!

[FUCK YOOOOUUUU!]

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 >SA
"Poindexter"
~~~

>...

"..."

>...H-heyyyy, buddy? How uh, how you been? Been doing good?

"..."

>I bet you've been doing good, you look like you've been doing good. Probably better then me, heh. You hear? My uh... my kingdom recently got beat by a giant monster thing.

"..."

>Not that I'm hiding behind that! Sure that, regardless, you've been doing okay.

"..."

>You have, have you?

"..."

>... I like to think you have.

"..."

Without answering, Poinedexter turned, and left.

>...Hello corner, my old friend... preeetty much the only 'old friend' I have left at this point.

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 >42
"Chrysalis"
~~~

>No.

"What!? You can't tell me no!"

>My Queen, I will do many things for you. I will fight monsters, I will beat any who oppose you to slime, I will present to you the heart of any foe that wishes you harm, I will even watch Two when you are feeling lazy. But I will not, will NOT, as you said 'gank Cadence to clear the way' when the game starts.

"TRAITOR! Traitor to the crown! I will have you imprisoned for this!"

>By who?

"...You're chief imprisoner, aren't you?"

>Not to imply that is a title, or even a real word, but yes.

"Crud, I hate shuffling around management... Forty Two! Think of a suitable punishment for yourself."

>A lifetime of shame at my inactions to your orders.

"Perfect! Carry on!"

>...

"...Are you feeling ashamed now?

>For someone, yes...

"HAH! Oh, Forty Two, you're the only one who gets my humor."

*Walks off*

>...she was joking?

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 >18
"Chrysalis"
~~~

>....

"What the hell is your problem?"

>Do... do I still do the advanced seduction thing now? Don't I... Do I have to? Will that seem kinda forward? I mean, most don't even get to third base till the fifth date. Is that too forwards?

"...You're asking the one who's dating plan is 'mind-control, sexy times, raze to ground' about etiquette?"

>...Point.

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>Luna
"Twilight"
~~~~~~

>VERILY! We are having fun!

"Um... we're not in the simulator yet."

>INDEED, Mrs Sparkle! We instead are making the beasts within fight one another! Tis most enjoyable to see!

"You realize they're all fake, right?'

>...Yes!

"..."

>...We do NOW!

"So, what, you thought we were going to fight actual monsters or something?"

>We do. Why would that be weird?

"..."

>It's not weird to go out and fight monsters!

"..."

>It's not!

"..."

>We only hunt at night!

"..."

>We also fight other things too!... Not children, though, we feel we must stress this.

"I actually would've preferred if you hadn't."

>But then how would thou have known!?

"...I'm uh... I'm regretting my choices."

>Oh look, the limbed serpent is eating the young of the Roc! Tis so exciting!

"..."

>...Now that we know it is fake, of course.

"...so much regrets..."

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"AJ"
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter and I'm all out of *censored* to give! Now for our main guest...APPLEJACK!!!
Applause

"Howdy folks."

>What character class are you going to choose? I'm thinking a bard, a clown assassin or maybe a trickster mage for myself.

"...I was just going to go with the character I already had set up."

>Boring answer! That's the end of our show!

AJ wakes up to Dash still choosing her race.
"You're the one who asked."

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>32
"77"
'88'

>What are we doing?

"Currently? Going to get you the largest cup of coffee possible to try and overcome your hangover."

'Then hiring someone to clean that pig sty up.'

"Hire someone?"

'I'm sure as hell not doing it!'

"Point."

>You shouldn't waste your time on me, all I'm good for anymore is screwing something up. I couldn't even notice the voice of the God of Chaos.

"Who you've interacted with how many times?"

'I'd have probably bought them anyway. That asshole's scary.'

>You're just saying that.

"Listen, brother, it's the day after Hearthswarming and we should be spending time together. The Queen and her retinue are celebrating some form of upgrade to the simulator-"

'Aka the Happy Funtime Murder Box.'

"-and with the Hive terrified of having to stay here, they're on their best behavior. So today it's going to be the three of us, like the good old days."

'Now with 80% less murder.'

"Sister!"

'Okay okay, 90%.'

>...thanks.

"Thank us after we've sobered you up."

'I smell donuts. DONUT PONY! WE COME WITH A POOR SOUL IN NEED OF YOUR MAGICAL CAFFEINE POTION! CHOP CHOP!'

"...three cups of coffee, Pony Joe, if you'd be so kind."

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~~~~~~~~

"IT IS TIME!"

Her call rang out to the surprisingly large crowd, fifteen in total, far too much if someone were to, say, try to list them in some fashion using extraneous symbols.

But no matter, Twilight could not care less for logging and lists for one in her long and sure to be even longer life, for it was time.

She had given Luna the basics.

She had set the thing to go as it was supposed to.

Everything should be programmed in as it was meant to be, no bugs or glitches should destroy their immersion.

It. was. time.

"IT IS TIME!"

"HAH! Finally! I thought you assholes would never get ready!"

"Half o' this was waitin' on you, ya' dang bug monster."

"I've been here for an hour! What the fuck were you waiting on?"

"IT DOES NOT MATTER!"

Twilight's words cut off the ever squabbling pair of short orange alicorn and tall black Queen. She had enough of that yesterday, she had enough of it today, she had enough of it in general.

"FOR IT IS TIIIIME! TAKE! YOUR! PLACES!"

She couldn't remember the last time she had been this excited about anything. For once her, invention was going to be used for pure, silly fun. No grander scientific achievement, no need to create this or that, no letting out ancient evils, nothing of that sort at all!

It is just her, and her friends, and her family, and they are going to have fun.

And she was damn excited over it.

"Come on come on come on!"

"Hey! Don't steal my bit!"

They followed the all but bouncing alicorn into the middle of the room, directly behind the bouncing pink party pony who was trying to somehow bounce better, if that made any sense at all. Which it didn't.

Because Pinkie Pie.

One by one, they took their places, their voices mingling into each other and making it hard to decipher who, exactly, was who, but they all seemed excited, so who cared.


"This is gonna be AWESOME! Going to fight me some monsters left and right and show them how it's really done!"

"We're not going to fight any dragons in here, right?"

"...Seriously, darling? Power of the gods and you still fear dragons?"

"Hey, we're scary!"

"Pfft, not to me."

"We can't all punch them with hoofs of love, you know. Some of us were built for more legislative things."

"Or moving massive celestial bodies, whichever."

"Or being in charge of LOVE! That's super important too!"

"Sure it is, sugar cube."

"It so is. It's super, super important, like the most important thing ever."

"Of course HE agrees, HAH!"

"Be fair, if I had a wife as hot as her, I'd never disagree with her either."

"Give the stallion a cookie, he knows his stuff! Hee hee!"

"EVERYONE!"

Her voice cut them off, bringing them back to the 'real' world just long enough that she could take them away from it.

"LUNA! Are you ready!?"

"We... hope so."

"Then Luna... PULL THE LEVER!"

With a CLACK! A trapdoor opened beneath Twilight, and sent her to parts unknown.

She returned after a moment of awkward silence.

"Wrong lever!"

"Why doth thou even have that lever!?"

"Just pull it!"

"Very well! And here.. we... GO!"

The world exploded with light, colors and magic, a symphony of power and energy coursing all around them as the world twisted, reshaped, became something else entirely, another world entirely. Hard floor became cool grass, steel walls became lush trees, it was as if they had been transported to some far off land, teleported beyond reach.

Were it not for the tingle they all felt on their coats, they would have wondered that the case. But, with the enshrouding magic that hugged them shortly, any fears were put to rest.

Armor, cloaks, helmets and helms grabbed hold. Hats and staffs and swords alike come forth. The grasped them, these gifts from the 'gods', and at last, everyone was as they should be.

Or, she assumed so.

She never got the chance to see what they all looked like.

"WHAT IN TARNATION!?"

For in a flash of light, they were gone, all gone in seconds.

Gone away to who knows where... which is exactly how she wanted it.

She would meet her friends as it should be, finding them as the journey went on. They would gather, in time, rediscovering each other in true role playing fashion. It was going to be unlike anything they had ever done.

And it was going to be amazing.

"Well, Luna! You have the reigns, ready to take us on a journey?"

"As ready as we have ever been!"

"Well then... just give the signal."

Her voice, less like the loudspeaker it was and more like a heavenly call of a goddess, boomed out.

"You have found yourselves in a land so far away, in a time... so unlike what you remember... an age you will forge, with magic, with strength... and with blade..."

Her world could, at last, begin.

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>Spike
~~~~

>...You know, I kind of figured this was my luck. You know why I picked this class? Because deep down, I think I still want to be this kinda guy, you know? I picked a Knight class specifically because I think I still wanna be this kinda guy, you know? I want to be the big strong knight who wields a lance, slays badguys and then gets the pretty princess. I've seen some shit, but that never changed.... so when shit like this happens, I tend to wonder if, deep down, someone up there is trying to tell me something. I realize, totally, that Twilight made it one hundred percent random, it just wouldn't make any sense if it wasn't totally random, you know? Then it would be predicable, she would subconsciously fix it, wouldn't even mean to, and she knows it. So I know this wasn't deliberate... and yet...

With a sigh, he hefted his weapon, and pointed it at the group of small, fuzzy balls of teeth and anger that were gathering around him. They no doubt had names, lore and a backstory, but he just did not give a damn.

>When shit like this happens, I have to wonder if it's a sign...

With a shriek, they all charged.

>At least I'll get a headstart on my XP...

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