Mishie> Hmm
11:16 AM Had a look at it Marceline
11:17 AM Story feels a bit...  I'm not too sure if bland is the right word, maybe...  Not really all that full of tension or impact?
11:17 AM Although I'm not sure if it's meant to be deliberate or not at this stage.
11:17 AM
<Marceline> oh hey
11:17 AM good to hear
11:17 AM any thoughts?
11:17 AM
<•Mishie> Is the main character a second gen cape?
11:17 AM Because that's the impression that I'm getting
11:17 AM Which could be fun
11:17 AM
<Marceline> she isn't meant to be
11:18 AM
<•Mishie> huh
11:18 AM
<Marceline> what makes you say that?
11:18 AM her being second gen i mean
11:19 AM
<•Mishie> Shame, her talking about the trigger really reminded me of that early scene in Worm with the Undersiders talking about shit.  About how they went through what they did, and then Lisa talks about Glory Girl getting her powers from being fouled at a game or whatever it was.
11:20 AM
<Marceline> like the trigger event seems mild to you?
11:20 AM i can sort of see that
11:20 AM
<•Mishie> not so much mild as much as...
11:21 AM There's buildup, but no payoff.
11:21 AM
<Marceline> like it should have escalated more before she triggered?
11:22 AM
<•Mishie> Right now it kinda feels like Ray is just a caricature of a person, which I feel could work out well if we hadn't seen the conversation and instead we were just running on the main characters biased opinion more obviously.
11:24 AM Like...
11:24 AM From what we can see there's been this back and forth between Ray and the protag.
11:24 AM
<Marceline> mmhmm
11:26 AM ⇐ thetwomind quit (uid353614@charlton.irccloud.com) Quit: Connection closed for inactivity
11:26 AM
<•Mishie> Where she's been a shitty person to live with, but the others haven't had the time or patience to put up with it.  She's apparently done something even worse that's been the final straw for them and...
11:26 AM Hmmm
11:26 AM Honestly I almost get the feeling like she's a second gen from his shard if that makes sense?
11:26 AM
<Marceline> huh
11:26 AM
<•Mishie> Where she's pushed someone there to triggering, and now it's all coming around full circle.
11:26 AM Which could be a fascinating dynamic to play around with
11:27 AM
<Marceline> the terrible final straw was resetting the wifi password
11:27 AM like that's literally it
11:27 AM
<•Mishie> See that almost sounds like the ending to his trigger
11:27 AM one of those final straw moments
11:28 AM
<Marceline> but why would that bother him? he could just change his password himself
11:28 AM it's literally written on the back of the thing
11:28 AM
<•Mishie> I dunno, he's your character.
11:28 AM
<Marceline> well yeah
11:29 AM but also not really
11:29 AM
<•Mishie> But based on what I can see, it feels like a clever final straw thing.
11:29 AM Where it's not so much this specific incident
11:30 AM As much as the buildup over time, which makes for a great contrast to the protags trigger
11:30 AM One where it's a variety of incidents of varying degrees over time, culminating in something minor being like a final straw.
11:30 AM And the other where it's a ramping intensity to something more.
11:31 AM
<Marceline> you seem to be taking her roommate's ideas of how terrible she is to live with at face value
11:31 AM
<•Mishie> Well
11:31 AM The protags internal dialogue kinda supports it pretty heavily tbh
11:32 AM
<Marceline> i mean, the accusations aren't entirely baseless no
11:32 AM it's more that their response to her behavior is disproportional
11:32 AM and cruel
11:33 AM particularly since they knew she was going to move out soon anyway
11:35 AM
<•Mishie> It kinda seems like there's very much so a toxic spiral and back and forth between everyone involved
11:35 AM Like uh
11:36 AM
<Marceline> sure
11:36 AM but i feel like it's noteworthy that there's three of them and one of her
11:36 AM
<•Mishie> oh totally
11:37 AM But it seems like the trigger is "protag does (or doesn't do) X because they're a mess, roommates complain because X effects them, protag gets worse due to how it effects them, cycle continues"
11:37 AM With the escalation to the first scene where we see the triggers
11:38 AM Where Ray has snapped from the stress of it all and is taking it out on the protag, pretty shittily, only for things to get physical and go crazy.
11:38 AM
<Marceline> i'm pretty confident their anger was more because it was a useful tool for controlling her than them genuinely being that harmed/upset by her
11:38 AM it's pretty classic abusive behavior
11:38 AM including the escalation over time
11:38 AM
<•Mishie> Well I guess if that's how you want to write it.
11:39 AM
<Marceline> i should probably come out and say this trigger event drew heavily from personal experience
11:39 AM
<•Mishie> But it feels kind of odd when contrasted with the early scene of-
11:39 AM Yeah okay then
11:39 AM Uh
11:39 AM
<Marceline> every incident mentioned was something that actually happened to me
11:39 AM
<•Mishie> Yeah sorry, in that case I'm not really comfortable touching shit because no offense, there's going to be a lot of personal bias, which is totally okay, that's going to get in the way of the actual story itself.
11:40 AM
<Marceline> i'm not trying to argue that actually she's a great roommate and her roommates should have appreciated her
11:40 AM but
11:40 AM the stuff they did was still wrong
11:40 AM
<•Mishie> oh totally
11:40 AM
<Marceline> and completely disproportionate
11:41 AM and made the problem worse
11:41 AM
<•Mishie> Honestly I was initially really interested by the idea of two people driving each other to trigger from their shitty behaviour
11:41 AM
<Marceline> ray wasn't the one scared of leaving his room
11:41 AM
<•Mishie> Yeah I'm just going to bow out, sorry.
11:41 AM
<Marceline> yeah
11:42 AM i don't wanna bludgeon you with this
11:42 AM it's just