Vincents fucked up confession.

Vincent Baltodano
22 November 2017 ·
Why I'm doing this? No clue. Maybe to have her see I am trying my best to make up for my wrong doings. Maybe for my consciousness. Maybe both and more. But anyways, let's begin the story. For anyone who has seen "Ambriele Neary Black Card" or "Ambriele Nearly (Ruina) Black Card" with all her personal information posted. That was me. The one who posted "Kill Vincent Baltodano" and "Kill Vincent Baltodano (Update)" was also me. Because I am Vincent Baltodano. Lets cover why I did all this. Before Ambriele Neary's information got blasted for the 2nd or 3rd time (Indeed, there was more than one case of this incident with far more malicious intent in the past than what happened here). A dude named Austin decided to message me on Skype one night saying, "my boy is enjoying her" in reference to Ambriele. This enraged me because me and her had a recent argument before that (she was drunk and told me to go kill myself), so I thought she was persisting her attack. Got her home address via two androids having each other added and connected by google and spread it through the web slightly. I did try to confront her about it, but she chose to ghost me (avoid me entirely) instead. Until she messaged me once she investigated other sources and found that I was lied to before clearing things up. I cried, she cried, I confessed my realized feelings for her since I shouldn't have cared about her fooling around with other guys and girls (she's polyamorous, so a relationship wasn't happening either). She was planning to visit me here in Southern California from New York, and was also planning to take my virginity as we wanted that bonding moment between us due to being friends online for 9+ years. 22 by the way, so that's been quite a while for me. Well she was also planning to go to Oregon to visit this other guy I have issues with. Even recently threatened him. I asked Ambriele if she was gonna have sex with him too, and she said she might. I was not okay with being sloppy seconds to him specifically, but let it slide cause I cared that much for her. However. She then says he's gonna be coming with her to visit me. Cause he wants to come. See where things are shady? I told her me and him would likely fight. Or kill each other since we would both be carrying a weapon, since he was homeless and I'm crazy. She said that's fine. As long as we don't kill each other. I was appalled. Had to take a moment to think and started to wonder if she even cared about me...or was just there to make sure I don't commit suicide. I asked a mutual friend of ours how Ambriele was feeling during our fight, and apparently she said she was feeling happy. I later confronted Ambriele about this and she said she lied to make our mutual friend feel better. Lies to her friends to make them feel better...that made me start to confirm the suspicions. I asked her about it and the answer made no sense. "I was in a good mood". Either way, something wasn't right and I had enough. I later let her know I was gonna calmly follow this dumb suicide plan I had, which was to move secretly, try all these hallucinogens, and blow my head off. I told her I wanted a last talk with her. She slowly began to ghost me again. Tried to talk to her one afternoon, no answer and was a small time gap from when she ghosted me before. I phone blasted out of desperation and she texted me saying that we'll talk later and had to pause about keeping me as a friend. Was during work hours and she was working as a store manager. Well I had to phone blast her again that night after her shift. She said she couldn't talk atm cause she was getting in her car to drive (and this made no sense cause we have talked via bluetooth before) and that we'll talk when she gets home. Never got a word from her that night. Or the morning after. Phone blasted her again. Phone was either blocked or her phone was turned off. Blew up. Got all her personal information like full name, phone number, home address, you name it. Blasted it throughout the web in various sites and TOR websites with a message that was somewhere along the lines of: "I'm going to commit suicide. But I want everyone to make her feel the same pain that I feel." She called the police. But not for that. For some reason, she never pressed charges against me. But she did call them for self-harm. I didn't have any scars when they came...yet. I got angrier. She was still ghosting me but calling the cops to my door? My mind went to immediate "Unacceptable." Did the one taboo that she did warn me that we wouldn't be able to talk probably ever. Scared the fuck out of her family and friends of the family with empty threats, saying shit like Ambriele's house will be burned down and hostile ped0philiac activities from strangers online will occur (randomly, since there was no transaction made). Now, these were empty threats. But just the shock factor was enough to apparently stir shit as a mutual friend of ours confirmed that everyone was giving Ambriele shit except her family. Though I didn't learn that until later. Then, the anger faded as I find that she wasn't coming back. My mind snapped. First time slashed into my left forearm with a broken piece of glass. Relief at first, but as I got into the habit, it stopped working and became more of an action of frustration since I was getting into the habit of destroying external factors. I tried to fix the damages by removing as much of her info as I can from the web. But as we all know, once it's out there, it ain't going away. Told the family under false accounts where they were sent to in case someone messes with them. Did a formal apology and confession in Facebook with my real life picture, phone number, and full name. Was met with a thumbs down from her sister who was the only one that responded to me. Now here's the weird thing, she was responding to the false accounts of hostiles with words, but to my apology responded with only emoticons. Thumbs down in disapproval to the apology, thumbs up to some star wars memes, and told her I'd keep her added. Gave me a thumbs up and low key blocked me later. The apology went as followed: "Me and Ambriele have been friends for about 9+ years. We have had our fights...We actually have 2 similar to how this one escalated, that should have been the signs. I later realized my feelings for her when I outraged at some drunk dude me and her knew, lied about fucking her (she was in Florida), and after all that mess, we made up cause we realized Austin (the drunk) was lying. Well I then realized that I have feelings for her and I was upfront about it. She of course kinda just accepted it. However, the thing that set all this off was when she said she was planning to visit me, she said she wants to take my virginity. But, she wanted to visit a guy who we both know and that I have issues with and even threatened. Well I asked why and she said cause he wants to. I asked if she's gonna fuck him too (-Name censored- is his name), and she said she might. I of course disagreed with the idea of sloppy seconds and also told her that me and this dude are probably gonna fight and bring weapons cause he was homeless so you know he has something. Well she didn't mind as long as we didn't kill each other. This was when I realized our level of care are on two whole separate levels. So I was gonna have a final talk with her and then perform a suicide. Well she put off the conversation and I needed to talk to her urgently...can't remember why tbh. She was pretty much just ignoring me til the phone got blasted. Said we will talk later, never did, but I accepted the excuse that she had to sleep and had work once she explained when she got phone blasted at work. Well we talk slightly and she's just making sure I'm okay and said we will talk later. Later never came. I felt like she said all that just to prevent my suicide and to give me some kind of hope? She once admitted to lying to a friend to make her happy, so I suspected she was doing the same to me. Once she either blocked the phone or shut off the phone, I lost it. Did the whole stupid info spreading, asking for revenge, offering money but never did, just wanted to see what kind of people would be attracted to this sort of sick twisted shit. The threats to you guys came after she called the cops for self harm, instead of well, just talking like I was demanding and shouldn't of. The threats were never real, they were mainly to get her attention since I don't think she realized how far gone off the deep end I was. Then the realization hit. She was gone forever. Started cutting myself for the first time and I'm only mentioning this not for pity but for what it lead up to where I decided to try going. I started feeling guilty, cause none of you deserved that just cause I was jealous and obsessed with Amb. Apologies mean nothing to Amb, which I suspect might be the same for the rest of you. Hence why I started to work on removing the info spread about Amb and everyone (Facebook links). Lol...and then I fucking smoked salvia. -Name censored-, a little off topic, never try this shit. It made me so traumatized and horrified that I cut the idea of suicide right off, started appreciating this world, and friends and family. I been trying to make sure that anymore damage is minimal. On Zack, I also gave you guys info on where the info was spread. Black book i would have to double check, might be the other Facebook but I doubt it. Anyway, they should have been removed and later did I decide the decision to make a formal apology. I don't expect forgiveness, cause what I did was unforgivable, but I just want you all to know that none of you deserved this at all and that I wish I can change back time but do can't the damage is done. Idk what the damaged are either, all someone told me was she was being bothered by everyone except family. Either way, none of this should have happened. I'm sorry." During all this, self-destruction was ramping up. Did the taboo of weed mixed with salvia water bong style with ice. Destroyed my mind and fucked my psyche up, probably damaged it in some way with that psychological traumatization. Started street racing. Picking fights hoping I'd get shot or stabbed or beaten to death if I'm unlucky. Visiting suicide hot spots like Colorado Street Bridge at Pasadena, CA. Climbed the fence. Long way down. But it wasn't enough. Nor was using a shaver to remove layers off my skin. Nah, so what I did next was blasted my own information online as I work the courage for suicide. "Kill Vincent Baltodano" "Kill Vincent Baltodano (Updated)" https://justpaste.it/1dhgg <--- Most popular one and just for you all to see how far I went. Basically was used as a secure way to get myself killed in case I pussied out from suicide. And throughout all this, my attempts to contact her were met with ghosting. Even when two of our mutual friends asked why she wasn't talking to me without me asking, she blocked them immediately. However, her behavior is strange as she also tried to interrogate one of them when she mistakenly thought I was gonna follow through my hallucinogen + suicide plan, wanting to know where I was going and to get that mutual friend to call suicide hotline who fought back. Then as my info was being blasted, I sent them to people I thought were enemies but turned out to be concerned as one made a deal with me to try reaching out to her and get a response in return that I don't do anything crazy. I accepted and found myself growing restless. I wanted to follow up with my first suicide plan: Suicide by cop. Was gonna buy an air soft gun, pop off the orange tip, and fool a cop to shooting me. But the idea of self-admitting myself to a mental hospital kept being brought up by friends and family. They and intensive outpost therapy program knew all about this stuff. Except for what I had planned for suicidal ideations...and homicidal ideations. At first starting off as vandalism ideas to hit the news. Ideas of burning lawns and destroying cards with a metal bat while leaving a calling card of, "Are you satisfied now Ambriele?" Escalating ideas to killing homeless people, leave calling cards like "Are you satisfied now Ambriele?" Homeless people being the target cause no one would go looking for them. However, once a close friend of mine promised me things will be better if I go to the hospital, I decided to do just that. Told the doctors everything that I am telling you. Told them I do need to medicated for my major depression that's been present for about a decade, suicidal urges, homicidal urges, anxiety, and obsession. They decided prozac and depakot, which started about three days ago. Oh and this entire shit show has been within a span of the last 4 weeks. So I was placed in a 72 hour watch. Or as some call, "5150". Did a lot of deep thinking. Decided suicide will solve nothing and neither will homicide. While my mind engaged in a war against the depression that is still going on as I type this --- the prozac should help with that in a couple of weeks. How my hospital visit basically was: Well I'm not suicidal or homicidal anymore. I'm on Prozac and Depakot. And I sent a letter to Ambriele while in the facility about 2 days ago. It was me just pouring my heart out. Telling her all that I've done to try to redeem myself, the ways I've punished myself, and how I'm trying to fix myself rather than promise to be better and breaking it. Said that if making amends to her family is by accepting charges, I would accept them.Left with an open ended statement: "When you're comfortable, I'll welcome you back with open arms and respect any boundaries." Truth be told. I don't expect her to respond. I emotionally and mentally prepared myself for that while in there. Along with the possibility of rejection. If she does respond with positive feedback? Well it's a happy surprise. As for the depression. My mind is actively fighting against it now. And I'm gonna be working on being a better person. I want to give that same care my friends and family give. Was discharged yesterday. 11/20/17 Now, this doesn't mean I'm suddenly a saint. It just means I am taking action and the means to fight the monster I was. Who is stubborn and rightfully so due to being around for so long. As for Ambriele. Well, I can only hope she sees improvement that I am attempting to place rather than making broken promises of not doing shit like this again, that I am trying my best for atonement, and trying to kill the monster inside me and become a better person. Even taking notes on anger management skills as that is what got me in this hell hole to begin with: Anger. There's not a day where she isn't in my mind constantly or a night where I don't dream about her. Legit haunting me. Still being ghosted to this day. Very similar to our first fight that was like this three years ago and even happened around the same time: Halloween. How fucked up was my monster back then? If I had your info and this happened to her too, and you crossed me, I would spread that shit to places like Hard Candy (ped0phiia website on TOR), so if you had kids or siblings that were minors like Ambriele's siblings those years ago, the risk is real. Still don't know why she didn't press charges. The locations of where information about Ambriele for this most recent fight that were sent? Locations: IMVU, Teen Chat, Chat Hour, Reddit, Pastern, Facebook, Justpasteit, and pastepost. TOR: Blackbook, Raid Forum, and Intel Exchange. Tried my best to remove them. I do plan to confess everything to these websites too and additional ones for my shit that I was fooling people into killing me. We’ll see what happens, tl;dr Nut case in love snapped.