Oregairu H

Volume H Chapter 1

[More than anyone else, Miura Yumiko clings on to a young maiden’s train of thought.]

The atmosphere inside the clubroom was becoming really tense.

The midwinter wind struck against the windows, making a rattling sound.

If today was just like any other day, the soft sound would probably be lost amidst the idle chatter of the girls.

However, thanks to the complete silence today, the sound of the wind blowing about outside gave off the feeling that we were awfully close to it.

The reason for this heavy brooding atmosphere was none other than Miura Yumiko.

Miura sat opposite us, her arms crossed, and every now and then, tilt her head in displeasure. Each time she did that, her soft curly blonde hair would shake gently and fall down to her shoulders.

A while ago, whilst doing exactly just that, she had said those sharp words.

“Hey, y’all, what’s up with Hayato.”

She spoke it in a straightforward manner, but did not ask for anything in particular. Even so, it was plain as day as to what Miura was really curious about.

The rumors surrounding Hayama Hayato.

The rumors about how Yukinoshita was going out with him, or how Yui was actually the one dating him.

Those rumors were clearly unfounded, as well as being totally pointless.

However, there was a certain attraction to such troublesome things.

As a sort of mini-celebrity in the school, the existence that stood out amongst the rest, Hayama Hayato was the type who attracted all forms of gossip about him.  Thinking back to my middle-school, a male student like me back then would have had absolutely 0 interest in his love life. In my memory, all the guys did back then was basically just making a crap ton of gossip about all sorts of things. Indeed, it would be about stuff like who’s the cutest girl in the school year going out with, about who amongst the cuties had the biggest breasts, who would let me touch their tits if I knelt down and beg….. GOD! Boys were really idiots back then!

Still, thinking about stuff in the past did not allow you to run away from the present.

In this clubroom where not a single sound was yet made, the unchanging air was as ominous as ever.

As of now, Miura’s gaze was as steely as ever, and continued staring hard at Yukinoshita. However, towards this, Yukinoshita did move even an inch of her body, merely accepting her gaze coolly.

“…… What is it?”

Under Miura’s persistent glare, Yukinoshita spoke slowly. Her soft and low voice was far colder than the winds blowing outside, the eyes that seemed to have seen through everything was emitting a gaze that was as sharp as an ice pillar.

“That is…… that……”

The overwhelming pressure from Yukinoshita’s gaze caused her to falter in her words and she turned her head timidly and slowly.

That pair of eyes first fell onto Yuigahama.

And then, Yuigahama who had a frown on her face quickly broke into a smile upon noticing that Miura was now looking at her.

“Ah, that, is it about those rumors? And, you came here to clarify about the details yourself, right?”

Hearing those words, Miura nodded her head in response slowly.

That’s so Miura! Not so much as a bit of hostility directed towards Yuigahama! On the contrary, she was actually looking downwards, as though embarrassed by something.

……Well, she was came all the way here just to confirm the authenticity of the rumors. It’s was equivalent to her proclaiming that she was really concerned about Hayama! That would probably explain why she looked so embarrassed and shy.

School had just started, but in no time at all, the rumors had already started flying. It doesn’t help that they were greatly exaggerated as well. Subsequently, there was also the speculation about the carnage that was going to occur between Miura and Yuigahama were becoming more and more ridiculous day by day.

If that’s the case then eventually, probably not even Umihara Kawase [1] will be able to keep up with it. Precisely because of that, Miura was unable to just sit there and do nothing about it, and hence probably why she was here in the first place.

Whether it was Miura or Yuigahama, it wouldn’t be good for either of them to just overlook those rumors.

It was not merely just about Hayama, but the relationship between those two would suffer as well, and that would definitely not bode well.

Besides Miura and Yuigahama, it would be the same for Yukinoshita as well. However, Yukinoshita’s expression right now was calm and collected.

“Regarding that, hmm……”

She said that with a voice that was not at all impressionable with a mixture of surprise and a bitter smile. Then, brushing away her hair at her shoulders, she faced Miura directly and continued to talk.

“There’s really nothing much to it.”

Her answer came carelessly, and the sharp glare of Miura did not soften.

“Really?”

Thereupon, Yukinoshita sighed as though she was fed up with this whole affair.

“What do I stand to gain by lying? …… This sort of stuff have always been a bother since a long time ago.”

“Huh? What’s with your tone? You are really pissing me off. I, really hate your guts.”

“Yumiko!”

The one who raised her voice in reproach was Yuigahama. Miura’s shoulders jerked in surprise and right in front of her gaze, Yuigahama’s lips were distorted as though angered by something. The conversation in the room had somehow turned into a vehement argument.
“I told you, that this is just a misunderstanding. I mean, look, me, seriously? There can’t be anything between me and Hayato-kun!”

“Hmm……”

Miura nodded her head, albeit grudgingly.

“I think I kind of understand what you are trying to say.”

“Unn......”

With her lips distorted, Miura spoke those words with some difficulty. Yui listened to her with a quietly, and would occasionally throw in a few appropriate words here and there.

“Hmm, I think, the truth is probably just that……”

“Unnn……”

There was absolutely no one who interrupted these two girls.

I hesitated to look at the feeble figure of Miura directly, and so I rested my chin in my hands and directed my ears towards them and listened. Occasionally, I would catch a glimpse of her, as well as Yukinoshita continuing to stare at her just like before. However, this time round, the hostility from before was not present, just her listening to Miura quietly with her ear inclined in her direction.

Then, Miura stopped talking and sighed softly.

Then, she bit her lips.

“…… However, I am still worried about Hayato.”

That voice was terrifying soft. The words that she used were few as well.

Despite that, her husky voice and hot breath revealed just how much emotions she had invested into those words. Watching her, it seemed that her eyes were faintly beginning to tear up.

Though, I wouldn’t say that I actually understand what she’s feeling right now.

With respect to this one Hayama Hayato, there wasn’t really anything special that I thought about him; I have only gotten to know about him only recently. Unlike Miura, I have absolutely no luck with things like love.

However, from an observer’s point of view, one could easily understand the abnormality surrounding Hayama Hayato. Subsequently, this time round, one could also figure out that Hayama’s acting kind of strange ever since the rumors started spreading.

Normally, no matter how Miura or Isshiki tried to appeal to him, Hayama would shrug them off with his trademark smile. That Hayama now, however, gave a clear response towards Oooka’s slight jest.  Yet, there wasn’t the usual cute traits of vexation or fretfulness in his tone, but an agitated voice that instilled fear in others.

Even for me, I understood that even that was a little strange for Hayama.   That would be all the more so for Miura, who was the closest to him.

Miura mumbled something, rubbed her eyes, and looked up at the ceiling. Then, she let out a huge sigh, then in between pauses, continued to speak again.

“I hated how those rumors kept getting passed around. …… When I heard Yui’s name included into those rumors, I really hated it.”

“I see……”

The tone of Yuigahama’s reply was gentler than usual. Drawn to that voice, I found myself looking intently at Miura. Miura’s tender voice right now was a stark contrast to her usual queen-like overbearing temperament. The words that came out from her was similar to that a peevish young kid.

Seeing that, Yukinoshita seemed somewhat surprised. That much was clear from how her mouth opened a little and her eyes growing rounder.

However, Yuigahama probably knew about this aspect of Miura.

She touched Miura’s shoulders softly, gently stroking it as though petting a small child.

Gradually, Miura grew more composed, and then worrying about the makeup on her eyes, pressed the tips of her fingers around her eyes and sighed deeply.

“Sorry, that was idiotic of me just now……”

“It’s okay. ……I am sorry somewhat as well, for causing that weird rumor.”

As Yuigahama said it, she gave an embarrassed grin as though she was somewhat troubled herself, and Miura shook her head in response. Each time she did that, her blonde curls would shake as well.

‘It’s nothing. It’s not your fault, Yui.”

“Un…… Maybe.”

Miura was looking in the other direction, and her reply had a reserved air to it. To this, Yui laughed to brush it off and fiddled about with her bun of hair.

“……But still, Yumiko.”

Soon, her hand stopped moving, and she call out to Miura, her eyes narrowing. That voice had a mature ring to it.

“…… I am quite happy if Yumiko would think of it that way.”

“What’s up with that……”

Miura took a fleeting glance at Yuigahama through those teary eyes of her, then looked away with a faint blush on her cheeks. Seemingly embarrassed by the formal way in which Yuigahama said those words, Miura spun her fingers about and fidgeted with the ends of her hair.

Watching the exchange between the two, Yukinoshita let her feelings show through a sudden smile on her face.

Noticing her smile, Miura stared at Yukinoshita. However, her stare now was nowhere as sharp as it was before. Then, she seemed to be momentarily trouble by something and paused briefly before lowering her small head.

“Hey, Yukinoshita-san, I am sorry as well……”

“Don’t worry about it……”

Towards that unexpected apology from Miura, Yukinoshita gave an unexpected answer as well. Thereupon, Miura took a fleeting glance at me as well.

“……”

Yes, that’s right, I have nothing to say. Absolutely. I am going to keep it that way.  Yup.

I mean, it’s not there’s any special reason for me butt in and say something. Or rather, if someone were to go apologizing to me here, I would have taken it to be a sign of affection.

In any case, Miura was not here to ascertain her friendship with Yuigahama.

Miura did not come in here with any sort of specific request or consultation, however, I could guess why she was here. The problem that she had right now was something that was all too obvious. If so, then shouldn’t solving the problem be part of our job? Clearing my throat once in quite an unnatural way, I looked at Miura straight in the eye.

“Miura, are you finished with your business here?”

“I think I am…… But still… …”

Miura did not give any clear answers, and the words she spoke made it all the more ambiguous.

Naturally, she had probably set her feelings in order after lashing out at both Yuigahama and Yukinoshita earlier. However, nothing has been solved as of yet. I fear that the rumors were just going to continue on tomorrow and spread further. After all, such was the nature of rumors. Hayama will continue to worry himself over the rumors, and Miura too, would worry about Hayama, resulting in a never-ending vicious cycle.

Breaking out of such of a loop would require a significant amount of time, or rather, it would require some form of method to do so.

However, the spreading of rumors happened just so naturally. There was just no way to eliminate the curiosity of so many people. People’s mouth just wouldn’t be shut.

Miura probably knew this very well.

That’s why, her words were ambiguous.

Despite the fact that I want to do something, I knew all too well that nothing could be done.

“If there’s anything that could be done…… I want to help.”

“I think that there’s nothing to do but to wait for their curiosity to die down.”

Both Yuigahama and Yukinoshita had a complicated expression their faces. Especially because what Yukinoshita said sounded all too true.

“…… Well, that is indeed so.”

Though Yuigahama did not say something like “Rumors last for just 49 days” [2], there won’t be peace and quiet until the freshness of the topics had died down. Such was the theory of combustion, where the way to avoid the spreading of fire was to avoid giving it more fuel.

If this was something like a scandal, then apologizing gracefully would probably have been one of the methods for risk hedging. However, if some mis-informed information were to get out, it would once again become a fresh source of fuel.

In this information society, the best tactic there is was to devote oneself to defense. Anyway, that just means to not say anything at all. But still, be it a loner or anyone, as long as you didn’t communicate with anybody, there’s no way details of your personal life could leak out! Once more, in this information society, isn’t that like, the ultimate way of protecting yourself? Main shield too strong; it’s a definite win! [3]

As I was thinking about the usefulness of being a loner in this IT society, Yuigahama was humming to herself. All things considered, perhaps it really as what Gospeller said, that the fact that there was no talk about the IT society recently meant that we have really become an IT society…… [4] Incidentally, by attempting to imitate Gospeller’s song, have I somehow become Yamashita Tatsurou? [5] Well, of course not!

Meanwhile, Yuigahama continued to hum to herself, and after a while, as though she had finally thought of something, began to speak haltingly.

“If we only knew who the person who first started this was, maybe things would’ve turned out differently……”

“I wonder……”

There was a tone of skepticism in Yukinoshita’s answer. I too, agreed with Yukinoshita’s view. As expected of Yukinoshita! As someone who has gotten used to gossip, she was bound to know that it was not as simple as Yuigahama had made it out to be.  I looked at Yukinoshita with admiration.

Thereupon, Yukinoshita placed her hands to her cheeks, and had a faraway look in her eyes.

“In most cases, chasing after or cornering the person who started it all will probably turn out to be a huge problem if said person pretends to be innocent……”

Un?

Unn……

So that’s your experience with them……

Chasing and cornering them, huh……

With the likes of that, I guess I won’t be the only who’s shying away from her.

“……”

“……”

Yuigahama gave a stiff smile, and Miura’s shoulders shrunk back as though afraid of something.

Hmm, I wonder why she was acting like that?

Could it be a revival of the trauma she sustained during that time during summer break back in Chiba Village where she was completely out-argued and broke down in tears?

As one would expect, without the need for anyone to really open their mouth, Yukinoshita seemed to have sensed the change in mood and blushed, then coughed slightly.

“Anyway. ……There’s really nothing much that we can do on our side.”

“Well, that’s only natural. The truth is, verifying the initial source of that rumor is really not practical at all. Or rather, it’s more correct to say that it’s pointless.”

“Is that so?”

Yuigahama asked with a nod of her head, not particularly convinced.

The thing is, trying to identify the perpetuator of this rumor within the entire school was a difficult task. With all the different accounts by various people, if we are unable to find a common consensus amongst them, then the culprit would just get away without any punishment by lying even if we were to cross-examine him. Furthermore, for argument’s sake, let’s suppose we are somehow able to ascertain the culprit anyway, information that was leaked out cannot be taken back anymore.

Especially when said information contains a person’s infamy or his scandalous dealings. Such information was bound to spread fast and quick. For example, even if the misinformation was corrected, there wouldn’t be anyone who would be interested in this new ‘correct’ information.

Because of the net, because of the want for interesting stories, or maybe it was righteous to uncover the wrongdoing of others. Hence, there were the purported followers of justice who were “permitted” to give scathing remarks towards those who have aroused notoriety. Therefore, be it gossips, false rumors or stuff like scandals, the freshness of the net provides them with such a plethora of material that ensures that “sense of justice” would never come to an end.

You are able to hurt them with bullet-like or arrow-like words from an absolute safety zone.

For example, even if the rumors are false, the people who propagate them because it’s interesting will not take any responsibility for their actions.

That’s why, gossips are evil.

Because by spreading gossip, you are also being deceived by the rumors yourself and wouldn’t you end up angry to have become the victim too?

If one thinks of it another way, the one who spreads this rumors are as bad as the original culprit. I think that people who engage in this type of easily mistaken behavior are horrible.

The victory song of righteousness echoes throughout the streets even today. The world has always been in the search for a punching bag. There was always the wish for someone that they could easily and conveniently laugh at whilst lashing out at him.

What a pity, even if you tried to do some arbitrary manipulation, there was no practical way to take back the rumors that had already spread like wildfire.

There was absolutely no meaning in doing things like explaining, vindicating your stand, correcting them or retracting it.

“I said earlier on about how the usual way to let this past was to just keep quiet but……”

I stopped mid-sentence and stole a glance at Miura, and saw her looking down. Though I had no way of looking at her expression, I guess that she probably did not agree to what I had said.

That’s to be expected of course. Why was there the need for Hayama, Yukinoshita, Yui and even Miura to have to end up with such unpleasant feelings over a rumor despite them doing nothing wrong?

That is indeed outrageous.

“……Is there anything that you people can think of?”

That’s why, I have to say something like that.

It’s a given, it’s definite that there’s absolutely no way that we can resolve this issue. Even now, as I search for all sorts of possibilities, I would immediately reject all of them.

I believe that what I do won’t change anything at all. This is all just a pointless struggle.

Even so, there was this weight in my chest that gave a nauseating feeling like reflux esophagitis when I heard about that pointless rumor. Like, I mean, seriously?!

Miura raised her head abruptly, upon hearing that I had NO PLAN. [6]

That was when I saw a glimmer of hope on her face. Ah, sorry, for taking away your expectations. Though that is quite bad of me, but still, this time, I really have no plans……

On that note, Yukinoshita and Yuigahama have gotten along together for a really long time. As though there was something unsettling, they looked at me with dubious eyes.

“What? You have any ideas?”

“Not really, nothing.”

I answered Yukinoshita’s question plainly.

Then, Yukinoshita sighed as though surprised, and Yuigahama gave a bitter smile.

“Ahaha…… Then, what should we do from here?”

“Well, no matter what response we take, there will be the need to talk to Hayama about this.”

The rumors this time, there was no doubt that the person at the center of it all, was Hayama. No matter which direction we took now, for the purpose of controlling the spread of said rumors in the future, we first had to check on Hayama’s current status and will. If we could do that then we would get his cooperation to help us.

As far as this is concerned, this negotiation is a must…… I took a glance at the three girls.

Then, Miura looked away.

“Ah, that, I, if I just talk to him like that, that’s a little……, things like that, what can I make up to talk to him……”

Her cheeks were dyed red, and whilst curling up her hair, clearly showed her disapproval of it.

That’s only to be expected of course. Also, the way she spoke, I couldn’t help but think that she was like the girl that was excited by pasta [7], or the Port of Yumiko Yokohama Yokosukadou-san. [8]

Well then, it would have to be either Yukinoshita or Yuigahama then. I looked at the two of them, to which Yuigahama had her face downwards and Yukinoshita, frowning. However, there didn’t seem to any voice of objection from either of them. Then, whether it was Yukinoshita or Yuigahama, all that I probably had to do was to ask them.

However, as the two of them were at the center of the rumors, I could not possibly allow them to come into contact with Hayama.

“……Well, I guess I will do it.”

By the process of elimination, it had to be me.

As soon as I came to that conclusion, Yukinoshita let slip a chuckle.

“My my, isn’t it rare to see you taking some action yourself.”

“Not really, this is a different matter. Like, since a long time ago, I have always been susceptible to girls crying. I mean, consider Komachi crying for example. Whenever she does that, I feel obliged to do something for her.”

Towards Yukinoshita’s banter, somehow, I couldn’t think of any apt response to that. It felt as though those vague feelings of mine were seen through, and so I carelessly blurted out some vague response to her.

I hurriedly constructed a response try and gloss it over but I also thought that I did it because her words struck a nerve within me.

Well it can’t be helped, loving my sister is your Onii-chan’s passive skill after all.

After I had said my piece, Yuigahama began clapping.

“Oh! Such is Onii-chan!”

“Indeed. As what one would expect from Onii-chan.”

“Huh? Could you please stop saying Onii-chan?”

A shiver ran down my spine upon hearing Yukinoshita say, “As what one would expect from Onii-chan.”

Well, your love towards your younger sister is sadly not a subject that your school could evaluate you on. Such a passive skill is not something that everyone has, you know!

However, the discomfort and the chill down my spine was not solely because of Yukinoshita or Yuigahama. One of the reasons was probably due to the person sitting opposite me, with her shoulders trembling whilst twirling her blonde hair.

“…….I mean, I. I am not really crying, you know.”

Whilst she said that, she seemed to be quite annoyed.

No, that is definitely crying…… As she said it, she looked at me in objection. Then, she clicked her tongue and sighed deeply.

Then, she grabbed her bag in one swift motion and stood up.

“I am going home……”

“Umm, wait, Yumiko.”

That soft voice clearly stated her displeasure. As she said her piece, she followed Miura to the door. Miura appeared bewildered by her actions.

Arara, I think you may just have offended someone…… I had that sort of unsettling thought in mind. Just before she closed the door, she stopped right in her tracks.

“……Hikio, thank you.”

My response to her was slow, owing to the fact that she had said that in such a small voice and without facing me as well.

”O, Oh……”

In that moment when she gave her reply, she banged the door shut. It was only in that brief instant that I saw Miura’s head bowed, her face flushed red.

Yuigahama eyes switched between the door and Yukinoshita, then begin to lapse into idle chatter. Having guessed what was on her mind, Yukinoshita began to clean up the tea-set.

“Then, shall we call it a day?”

“Shall, shall we? Then, I should hurry up and go home then!”

Saying that, Yuigahama pushed her chair back and stood up. She was probably going to run after Miura. After all, Miura had bared her feelings out to us. Thus, she will probably want to have a talk with her. It was just like her to be concerned for others.

Understanding this as well, Yukinoshita had a gentle expression.

“Yes, no issue at all. See you tomorrow.”

“Un! See you tomorrow then! Hikki as well, see you tomorrow!”

“Ah.”

After saying her goodbyes, Yuigahama ran out of the clubroom in a hurry.

The people that were left behind then, were Yukinoshita and I.

Yukinoshita arranged the tea-set nicely and glanced at the door.

“I’m a little worried about Yuigahama-san.”

“She’s going to be alright.  Miura said what she wanted to say too. That much is probably enough to conclude that they are close to each other.”

Miura was probably one of those girls who were impulsive and straightforward in their actions. Her somewhat straightforward, natural inclination to care for others were in sharp contrast to her curly hair.

In regard to this, Yuigahama was once again being big-hearted, or maybe an idiot, or just having a crazy capacity for helping others. Well, anyway, idiotic as she may be, that’s just very much how she is.

The relationship between the two will not grow sour just because of this incident. It could be said that Yukinoshita’s fear was unfounded.

However, even so, Yukinoshita’s fear was still evident in her expression. Towards my response, she shook her head, and with a gloomy expression, began to say her piece bit by bit.

“I am not talking about Miura-san, I am talking about something else other than this……”

“Huh?”

Something else other than this. I couldn’t think of anything in particular and so I gave her a non-committal reply, to which she shot me a glance.

“You look like you understand but you really don’t.”

“No, what……”

When I asked her that, Yukinoshita calmly closed her eyes.

“There are a lot of rumors that just don’t simply end in gossip. The people around you will play those rumors up, and the result is that you get people poking their noses into your business. When that happens, that’s when the personal attacks begin. Either out of jealousy or just getting carried away, because it’s only human. I don’t really interact much with people, so it affects me less but……”

There was a huge importance in the words that she just said. There was truth in what she just said.

In the case of Yuigahama, who was a very sociable person, it was clear that such a thing could bring her harm.

I dare say that Yukinoshita probably had the same experience as Yuigahama. Or rather, she probably chose to get involved with people as little as possible as her self-defense measure.

At a glance, it was a display of negativity.

However, to me, that was something clever, cool and beautiful.

If she had that kind of experience, then her concern for Yuigahama wasn’t entirely unfounded.

“I understand, I will remember that……”

There were surely better words to say that, but that was all I could say for now. I will remember it properly, her nobility, as well as her valuable advice.

Having given my reply, I saw her smile at last.

“Indeed, please do remember that. I want to do as much as possible like Yuigahama. I think that the situation might get better if I could be seen as still being on good things with the other party involved in the rumor. ……Though it’s not really getting at the root of the problem.”

The words that she added at the very end sounded very much like regret. The real problem is, even if we try and come up with some measures, the gossipy fellows will probably continue to feign ignorance. Seriously, they are an outrageous lot.

“Nonetheless, since we can’t always be together as our classes are different, I will be looking forward to your hard work.”

“Don’t expect too much…… Still, I will do what I can.”

Hearing my response, Yukinoshita smiled, relieved. No, I wish you wouldn’t expect anything from me……

To do what I can do. As to that, I have no way of knowing the extent to which that will turn out.

Still, I think that I want to do what I can to the best of my limits.

Because I think that, I myself want those pointless rumors to disappear as well.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[1] A very ancient game. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Umihara_Kawase
[2] Actual phrase is Rumors last just 75 days.
[3] Reference to FF11, an NPC called Bronte. Here are some of his catchphrases. We are going to win! Main shield(tank) is here!
[4] A parody of the lyrics of Gospeller’s song, Alone,  「愛してる」って最近言わなくなったのは
本当にあなたを愛し始めたから -> IT社会って最近言わなくなったのは本当にIT社会になった。
[5] Both of them are extremely famous in Japan. Gospellers and Yamashita Tatsurou.
[6] J-pop band. NO PLAN.
[7] http://helloproject.wikia.com/wiki/Otome_Pasta_ni_Kandou (TL: Stay classy JPN)
[8] It’s a song.  Port of Yoko Yokohama Yokosuka (港のヨーコ・ヨコハマ・ヨコスカ)