DO :9 <- #1
    PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS CALCULATES THE REMAINDER OF THREE

(33)DO :1 <- :9

    PLEASE REINSTATE (79)
    DO :2 <- #3
    PLEASE DO (55) NEXT
    DO :99 <- :3

    PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS CHECKS IF YOU TYPED FIZZ
    DO ABSTAIN FROM READING OUT
    PLEASE ABSTAIN FROM COMING FROM
    DO (10) NEXT

    DO NOTE THAT THIS IS A REMAINDER OF ONE
(10)DO ABSTAIN FROM READING OUT
    PLEASE DO (11) NEXT

    DO NOTE THAT THIS IS A REMAINDER OF TWO
(11)DO ABSTAIN FROM READING OUT
    PLEASE DO (12) NEXT

    DO NOTE THAT THIS IS A REMAINDER OF ZERO
(12)DO ,1 <- #5
    DO ,1 SUB #1 <- #158
    DO ,1 SUB #2 <- #208
    DO ,1 SUB #3 <- #312
    DO ,1 SUB #5 <- #346
    PLEASE READ OUT ,1

(4) DO REINSTATE READING OUT
    DO REINSTATE COMING FROM
    DO :1 <- :3
    DO :2 <- #1
    DO (1500) NEXT
    PLEASE DO RESUME :3
    DO COME FROM (4)
    DO FORGET #99

    PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS CALCULATES THE REMAINDER OF FIVE
    DO :1 <- :9
    DO :2 <- #5
    DO (55) NEXT
    DO :97 <- :3

    PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS CHECKS IF YOU TYPED BUZZ
    DO ABSTAIN FROM READING OUT
    PLEASE ABSTAIN FROM COMING FROM
    DO (20) NEXT

    PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS A REMAINDER OF FOUR
(20)
    DO REINSTATE READING OUT
    PLEASE DO (21) NEXT

    PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS A REMAINDER OF THREE
(21)
    DO ABSTAIN FROM READING OUT
    PLEASE DO (22) NEXT

    PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS A REMAINDER OF TWO
(22)
    DO ABSTAIN FROM READING OUT
    PLEASE DO (23) NEXT

    PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS A REMAINDER OF ONE
(23)
    DO ABSTAIN FROM READING OUT
    DO (79) NEXT
    PLEASE DO (24) NEXT

    PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS A REMAINDER OF ZERO
(24)DO ,1 <- #5
    DO ,1 SUB #1 <- #190
    DO ,1 SUB #2 <- #152
    DO ,1 SUB #3 <- #336
    DO ,1 SUB #5 <- #346
    PLEASE READ OUT ,1

(5) DO REINSTATE READING OUT
    DO REINSTATE COMING FROM
    DO ABSTAIN FROM (79)
    DO :1 <- :3
    DO :2 <- #1
    DO (1500) NEXT
    PLEASE DO RESUME :3
    DO COME FROM (5)
    DO FORGET #99

    PLEASE :1 <- :4
    PLEASE :2 <- #1
    DO (1500) NEXT
    PLEASE :9 <- :3

    DO ,1 <- #3
    DO ,1 SUB #1 <- #176
    DO ,1 SUB #2 <- #0
    DO ,1 SUB #3 <- #336

    PLEASE READ OUT ,1

    DO (33) NEXT
    DO GIVE UP

    PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS A SUBROUTINE THAT CALCULATES THE REMAINDER. THE INTERCAL DESIGNERS DIDN'T PUT THIS FEATURE IN AND THAT MAKES ME SAD.
(55)DO (1550) NEXT
    PLEASE DO :4 <- :1
    DO :1 <- :3
    DO (1540) NEXT
    DO :1 <- :4
    DO :2 <- :3
    PLEASE DO (1510) NEXT
    DO RESUME #1

    DO NOTE THAT THIS IS A SUBROUTINE THAT PRINTS THE NUMBER IF THE REMAINDER IS THREE
(79)DO RESUME #1
    DO ABSTAIN FROM READING OUT
    DO ABSTAIN FROM RESUMING
    PLEASE ABSTAIN FROM COMING FROM
    DO (80) NEXT

    DO NOTE THAT THIS IS A REMAINDER OF ONE
(80)
    DO READ OUT :9
    DO ABSTAIN FROM READING OUT
    DO RESUME #2
    PLEASE DO (81) NEXT

    DO NOTE THAT THIS IS A REMAINDER OF TWO
(81)
    DO READ OUT :9
    DO ABSTAIN FROM READING OUT
    DO RESUME #2
    PLEASE DO (82) NEXT

    DO NOTE THAT THIS IS A REMAINDER OF ZERO
(82)DO NOTHING
    DO RESUME #4

(8) DO REINSTATE READING OUT
    DO REINSTATE COMING FROM
    DO REINSTATE RESUMING
    DO :1 <- :99
    DO :2 <- #1
    DO (1500) NEXT
    DO :1 <- :97
    PLEASE DO RESUME :3