Memeball Z sequence (jumps #754, 758-760, 902, 945)

[Dragonball redux, jump #758]

Drawbacks: Dragon Ball Had Movies?! The Jumper Saga, Stop Cheating! Chain Breaker, Bullheaded, Dreams and Wishes (1900)

Earthling Hermit-Android, age 26 (1700)

Hidden Potential (Free)
Leaf on the Water (Free)
As Pure As Light (Free)
Only What You Need (1600)
Arts of the Ancients (1400)
Stone in a River (1200)
All is One (900)
Got The Magic Touch (600)
Ox Outfit (Free)
Capsule Calamity (200)
Teach a DInosaur: Launch (0)


>It's the Tournament of Power, but something is wrong. Goku, Vegeta and other fighters lie dead in the arena. So do the Gods of Destruction. So do all other spectators.
>And as the Grande Padre lowers his glowing hand, so do the Zenos.
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhPd3lvGSYU&frags=pl%2Cwn
>Standing aside are Rolf, Jiren and a mysterious furry man in a red shirt. All at once, they scream "PRAISE EL GRANDE PADRE!"
>"Yes. YES! PRAISE MY NAME!" says the Grande Padre, the Super Dragon Balls hovering before him. "And now I wish for the only warrior who ever threatened me, Gohan Blanco, to disappear forever no matter what!"
>"Do you mean the only warrior who ever threatened you or-"
>"Of course I mean Gohan! Hurry up!"
>"Whatever" said the dragon, disappearing in a flash of light
>But the future refused to change
>"How can this be?! My faith was too strong! I got cocky in victory just like...HIM. It's time for plan B. I will send the greatest assassin in all timelines as well as universes, El Golpe, to the time period the wish was targetting"
>"And then, like, you can become El Presidente de Mundos!"
>*evil laughter*
>"Wait a minute" said Shaggy Rojo, transforming out of his Super Lupine form "You like, sent El Golpe back before Gohan was born. Which means that's where the wish was going to affect. What gives?"
>"Ugh, that's it. Pack your things Red Shirt Shaggy, I must direct this personally"

DRAGON BALL DUPER: EPISODE 1: A WORLD-CLASS ASSASSIN?! WATCH OUT, YOUNG GOKU!

(Cont'd)

Would you believe babysitting young Goku WASN'T a pain? Sure he was a rowdy kid, but it's. Well. My daughter's a huge fan, and insisted on teaching him all his own moves years ahead of schedule. Lil' Goku couldn't even keep up with most of them without us and our ultimate mentor auras hanging around him, but he sure as heck kept trying.

>Scene near a hill upon which Sunny the woman-sun is attempting to explain to Goku how he needs to be MORE mindless and MORE instinctive to achieve his true power. From a distance, Jumper sheds a proud tear. They grow up so quickly

I'd get on her case again about wasted potential-but who am I to judge? I mean, I WAS teaching Bulma her own capsule corp tech decades ahead of schedule. I even suggested some improvements, like Pym particles and my life as a Supreme Kai's experience in gag physics.

>Scene where Bulma is furiously arguing with Jumper about the capsule that shrank so hard it shrank the Dragonballs out of sight

The point being: When Goku's many, many opponents started boiling with what was clearly watered down God of Destruction energy it wasn't as big a deal as you'd think. Ox King has an actual ox aura? Goku trapped him in a pot with the Mafuba and gave him to Chi-Chi for safekeeping. Demon King Piccolo acting like an actual demon? Medaka had learned and taught Goku the devilmite beam. Emperor Pilaf got buff? Okay, that was actually a disaster. I had to glue the moon back together.

No, the REAL problem was this asshole who looked kind of like Hit but with a bigger cranium kept trying to kill Goku when anyone least expected it. And every time one of us thought we'd killed him-it turned out to be a speed clone. Cloud of Darkness shoved him into the void dimension? Nope, it was a clone. Ajimu sealed him into a dream classroom? He was fading before she was done. Arcuied ran faster than him and kicked him in the shins? We found out he could do more than one clone at once.

(Cont'd)

It was around the time this guy jumped out of a potted plant while I was giving most of King Piccolo's children gene therapy for the Namekian equivalent of Down's syndrome that I'd decided I'd had enough. I created a System using Vibe, the Thu'um and time slicing to FINALLY outpace the guy. I found myself into a network of pocket dimensions. And behind him.

"How do you know" he said in a weird, stilted voice "that I am NOT also a clone?"

Does it matter? No but seriously why-

"The job"

Oh, so you're a mercenary. Wait, why are you taking your belt off? Dude, that's all your clothes

"No. That is my technique of last resort, 'The Job'. Very well, you leave me no choice but to use the Desnudo form!"

And then he vanished. In hindsight I guess it was like a weighted armor thing? Did I mention his powerlevel was absolutely absurd by the standards of anyone on Earth at the time? His armor must've had a pretty damn strong tensile strength just to withstand him moving.

Not that it did him much good when Merela used a few undodgeble combat Charms to chop his legs off.

When we took him back to Kame House old man Roshi couldn't be bothered because he wasn't cute and Goku thought he was a demon so he didn't understand why we were even bothering to keep him alive. So hardly anyone bothered to investigate who hired him.

>Safely away in outer space, Grande Padre stared. His best assassin had been killed by some sort of demonic cavewoman. Then young Goku had showed up, and achieved Ultra Instinct. And of course, THAT MAN was such bullshit.
>"Hey dude, I found out where the wish went" said Shaggy Rojo. "It like, corrupted this timeline' dragon balls. Do you want to try-"
>"I...I think I accidentally made Gohan even stronger"

I did. I spent rest of that decade on high alert. Something had gone terribly wrong

>Next time on Dragon Ball Duper!
>(Scene of Launch screaming at Roshi in court while the judge stares at Exhibit A: A pair of panties)








[Dragonball Z redux, jump #759]

Drawbacks: The Saga Continues, Four Stars! Broly When? Buu Who? ARE WE STILL ON NAMEK? Hungry, Only the Strong Survive, Dark Seekers, Rival, Up To You, Jumper Owned Count, Mr. Jumper (2300)

Drop-In, Android Earthling, age 26 (1600)

Hidden Power (Free)
Ki Training (Free)
That's Stupid and You're Stupid (Free)
Kill Your Pride (Free)
Dragon Radar (Free)
Strange Fruit (Free)
In A Tiny Capsule (1500)
Power Levels Are Bullshit (1200)
One Step Further (900)
You Stop That (700)
Sparring PartnersX8 (400).
-All: Demon, Style Artist, Do You Even Pose? (Free), Stomach Cramps (Free), Posing Power! (400), The Savior Has Come! (300), A True Hero (0)
A Devil In Plain Sight (200)
Ride a Ball: 18 (0)
Big Gete Star Microchip (+300, 0)

DBD EPISODE 101: "CELL, CELL AND CELL?!"

>"Man you were right, farming IS a way better use of my time than tournaments! Not that I'm ever gonna stop training, but I'm not going to waste this degree in agriculture"
>That's great, Goku. By the way has Gohan done anything...weird lately?
>"How d'you mean, weird?"
>Inexplicable leaps in power, transformations that defy all reason and logic, a strong urge to protect the multiverse. You know, teenage boy stuff
>"Nah. You know Gohan, he's a quiet kid"

And that was that. Despite my best efforts to throw plot armor at Gohan, despite the fact Goku was a much better father than some may have remembered, Gohan seemed just as determined to stay at home and become a scholar.

So I woke up the Androids a lot earlier than expected.

>17: "Ah, this is the good life! What can I say mysterious man and demons, at the end of the day park ranging-"
>*shoots down UFO*
>17: "-is way, way more exciting than hunting down some guy we don't even know!"
>16: "I must insist we exterminate some meaningful percentage of Son Goku! Maybe after I get my ornithology PhD!"
>18: "Well, his brother's on a rampage. Does he count?"
>16: "Acceptable!"

(Cont'd)

And things were fine-ish for a while again. The Saiyan invasion? 18 broke both of Vegeta's arms and Orla portaled Nappa into her lab. I never heard from him again, but Orla did borrow some Hyperion gene samples and one of the cheerleaders said something about artificial S-Cells. As for Vegeta himself he immediately an explaination, got enraged when Goku admitted 18 had surpassed him, started ranting about the pride of the Saiyan race and then Goku knocked him out with a finger flick. All that god ki training had paid off.

Namek? Namek actually got destroyed slowed than in canon because Frieza was attacking his own forces for going berserk, and then Frieza himself went berserk, and because most of the Z-Warriors knew the Mafuba at this point Bulma was technically the most valuable fighter because she brought along all the capsule jars.

No, the real weirdness happened when Cell showed up. Nobody ever found the bio-android in Gero's lab (and coincidentially, I was making green bean soup for Launch and 18 on our double date), but we tracked down Future Cell to right before his massacre. It was looking grim. He was cornered, and desperate.

...and THEN, Perfect Cell stepped out of a mysterious time portal and ate him, transforming into gold. "Ah, that hit the spot" he said. "Alright party people, who's ready to get drunk? Anyone want to take some SHOTS? No but seriously, this all worked out way better than I expected. Can you believe that annoying blue midget tore me right out of my timeline, AND tried to make me his minion? Well, the joke's on him! This power I've absorbed far surpasses anything on this planet!"

"Waitaminute" said Goku carefully "would you say it makes you feel like...a god?"

"No, but I like the cut of your jib! In fact, call me CELL DORADO because I'm taking you all to suplex city!"

(Cont'd)

Goku and I stared at each other. "Oh no reason INSTANT TRAMISSION NOW" shouted Goku, teleporting Cell to where Broly used to live. Everyone else follwoed suite or grabbed a buddy.

"Okay, overreaction much?" said Cell Dorado, vaguely waving his hands. "Sure I'm pretty green-heyo, wordplay!-and I've got a pretty high powerlevel but it's not like I'm going to accidentally half the universOH SHIT" he yelled suddenly, as a nearby galaxy started to wobble dangerously. And the planet started breaking up under his feet. "Okay, not cool not cool I wanted to destroy the planet on MY terms, not because of the powerlevel version of shitting yourself!"

"Well, that's what you get for staying at such a low level form" said a new voice. Through another time portal came a version of Cell with batteries for antennae. "Oh god, I hate mondays. So what's YOUR deal?" asked Cell Dorado. "Well, it's a long story but basically? Got ripped out of time, sent back to the past, ate a previous version of myself that absorbed the androids, tried to use the time machine to get back at the annoying blue midget, got sent back in time, rince and repeat-and hey presto! You're looking at DURACELL the Destroyer!"

"Huh" said Cell Dorado. "Were you...planning on eating me?"

"N-no" said Duracell, trying to step on his wiggling tail. "I mean, CLEARLY even if I, say, HAD an even greater form I wouldn't attack you before some kind of vanity induced tournament when you're still refreshed right?"

Oh no of course not, I pointed out, not unless Cell Dorado here was going to eat you first.

The Cells looked at me as I tried to hide my powerlevel. They looked at each other. And then the planet rent itself apart as the buff Z-Warriors grabbed the jobber Z-Warriors and transmistioned the fuck back to Earth.

"Hey wait a minute" said Krillin "Where's Vegeta?"

(Cont'd)

>The universe is destabilising. Stars are winking out, galaxies sway and darken like wisps of smoke. Beerus wakes up and then hides under the bed. In his lookout Mr. Popo cracks his knuckles
>Back on a mostly destroyed planet, a third time portal opens and a mysterious challenger gets between the two Cells. Placing a hand on each shoulder, he absorbs their energy in seconds and stares down the last man standing
>"Any last words?"
>"Yeah" says Vegeta, defiantly striding at the new figure "Once you take my energy I want you...to tell Goku...that he can cram his 2-0 winning spree up his race traitor ass"

"And that, kids, is how I got here!" said Perfección as the Z-Warriors collectively beat on him like flies nipping at a buffalo. Even CHI-CHI was there. He'd just been standing there. I'd just been standing there. Occasionally we halfhearted threw or parried attacks from each other, but our hearts just weren't into it. He was absorbing the very concepts of their attacks, although the cheerleaders had gotten in a good shot and 18 had put a dent in his carapace.

"I can't believe Vegeta would let himself be eaten by a horrific monster just to avenge his pri-oh yeah, that's Vegeta" said Gohan, taking a break.

"And I can't believe the greatest warrior here isn't living up to his full potential!" snapped Perfección. "Come on Gohan, you're better than this! Hurry up and transform so I can have a REAL fight!"

"I can't! I'm not a fighter by trade, it's just-a family tradition!"

"DAMMIT GOHAN, I respect NO ONE but you and you make it so hard sometimes! I just wanted to see your full potential, and I WILL wipe out this universe unless you show it to me RIGHT NOW!!"

"Stop, I'll try! HaaaaaaaAAAAAAaaarrrrgh?!" said Gohan. His forehead grew bigger. A pair of glasses spontaneously appeared on his face. "Um. ℵα+ℵβ=ℵα⋅ℵβ=ℵmax(α,β).?"

"Gohan. Sweetie, did you just develop a Super Saiyan transformation that makes you smarter?" asked Chi-Chi.

"...yes mom"

"Then it's settled! Once this is all over you are training nonstop 24/7!"

"Yaaay!" said Goku.

(Cont'd)

Perfección looked thoughtful for a moment. "You know, the funny thing is? If you'd actually achieve Blanco by now, that WOULD actually be a really nice powerlevel boost for you!"

"What's Blanco?" asked Gohan. "Anon over there keeps talking about it, I have no idea what he means, and I don't think he does either. Is it like Ultra Instinct?"

"I'll figure out what your friend is another day" said Perfección, glaring at me. "And-what?! No, it's the total opposite of Ultra Instinct! It's a transformation that can only be achieved by clinging to something and never letting go, like the Super Saiyan Kawaii form Vegeta here" said Perfección "would've achieved if he was more of a family man in this timeline. Oh well. You know what else is funny? I know old Padre's playing me, but there's nothing worthwhile in this timeline. So I'm playing along"

Wait! We still have one fighter left! I present to you Arale 2.0, the fusion of Arale and Dark Arale!

"Oh that's adorable, another android for me to ARGGBGBGHBLGHBHLBLBLBHLLLL!" screamed Perfección as Arale attacked with the fury of 1000 gaki no tsukai gags.

The Z-Warriors vowed to never speak of this day again, and also realised they needed to train more than ever to avoid being showed up by a little girl. But once again, happy days were here ag-

>In another universe, Shaggy Rojo lifted up the Super Dragon Balls and said "Like, I wish for the ressurection of Perfección! And a side order of Scooby snacks!"

>FIN


[Dragonball Xenoverse]

Drawbacks: Echoes in Time, Friendly Rival, I HATE TIME TRAVEL! GET IN THE FUCKBOX! Guru's House Is Under Attack! History's Most Wanted! Ultimate Battle! (2000)

Scenario: I Have To Run The Time Patrol?!

Legendary Warrior, Kai, age 26

An Era of Warriors (Free)
Hey, it's me, Jumper! (Free)
Fighting Is My Life! (Free)
Let's Fight Again, Okay? (1900)
The Greatest Battle! (1600)
Assemble a Team (1300):
-Medaka, Galatea, Kara, Sunny: Earthling, Hey, It's Me, Jumper! (Free) Fighting Is My Life! (Free), The Greatest Battle!, Keep Up Your Training! (0)
-18, Arale, Dark Arale, Launch: Earthling, The Moment To Strike (Free), Menacing Foe (Free), Your Power Is Mine, Forced Fusion (0)
Time Egg (1000)
Rock the Dragon: Actual Scientist Towa, Rebel Angel Cus, Rebel Angel Margarita, Rebel Angel Vados, Time Breaker Helles (0)
Groundbreaking Science (Free)
Advanced Scouter (Free)
Mentor: Puddin' (Free)

"You did WHAT? You fought a guy who was stronger than time by being even stronger than time?! That's time jaywalking! Also impossible!"
El Golpe was NOT stronger than time, and that's NOT how I beat him!
"Oh?! What about how Universe 7 was devastated by a massive ki anomaly in the timeline?"
That was Perfeccion! Look, I can prove I'm not the source of all these time anomalies!
"Oh this ought to be good, what are you going to do wave your hands...and...what...?" said Chrono as I activated the World Recompilation Program.

"Whaa..."

Okay, I said as I started conjuring an arcane map of all concurrent timelines, so this is the correct timeline right? I'll call it the "S" timeline. And THIS is the invasive sequence of events overwriting into it. We can call it the "M" timeline.

"That is. Well. Thatsamassivehelpthankyou" she blurted out all at once "so we just have to send Time Patrollers to the red dots where they can beat up the invaders! It's simple!"

I stared at one very large yellow dot. It wasn't going to be simple

(Cont'd)

Anyway, about building the Time Patrol: It was mostly made of Arales and 18s. Because I'd shared the Big Gete Star's chip around, the Arales and 18 absorbed it, and with an ongoing timeline distortion this severe I wouldn't going to let us be understaffed for a moment.

Oh, and Dumplin'. He just showed up with Towa one day and pretty much went on a one-man crusade against some of the more dangerous. We smoked weed together, awkwardly navigated Dumplin's questions about how hot his future daughter was, talked about the hardships of being a new father and complained about Goku.

Being undimensioned and all I was already learning the various mimiced martial arts from his daughter in the future, which I taught to him, which made Chronoa go crosseyed over whether it's a time crime if the accused already exists in all timelines at once. Actually, since I was also there when she HADN'T become a master in her own right I was also the victim of her occasional bloodlust.

But in both past and future, the yellow dot hadn't gone away. One day, we noticed it started bending all the timeline around itself, as if there was a being warping time with sheer strength like Anilaza punching portals. The situation was so critical Chronoa authorised Dumplin, Puddin' me AND whatever friends I could bring along to go investigate.

We found Jiren lying half dead in a ditch, next to a balding, blueskinned Gohan in a shirt colored like the Mexican flag. Standing over them was an imposing mountain of a man(?) saying "-and guess what? You always will be". But on seeing us, he simply started travelling to another timeline by walking backwards really hard.

"No ha...esto es el...fin" mumbled Gohan.

"Just tell me why!" demanded Jiren. "Why did you butcher our village?!"

As he disappeared through a blue portal, the stranger said: "To test the limits of my ability, dimwit"

(Cont'd)

Neither Jiren nor the new Gohan wanted to talk about what had happened back there. Dumplin and Puddin took advantage of Trunks' fanboyism to lock him into Baldhan's recovery room. He didn't notice.

The mysterious stranger stayed on the move. Sometimes he disrupted Towa's experiments, other times he used his psionic powers to make them even stronger. Jiren kept challenging him, but the man dodged attacks effortlessly and assumed control of any he could fire. After Ultra Instinct God Medaka finally scored a tummy kick she realised what I had suspected: His power was of a different dimension. Like Ihiko's, but even stronger.

One day we came back to see Grande Padre and...Shaggy? He handwaved my confusion. This fighter was a threat to both our plans, he explained, even beyond my subverting some of his children. "I knew it. El Hermano...you still...let me tell you all, the reason for El Hermano's obsession with intellect!"

>*shot of quiet yellow ayy meditating in a pile of books. In the background, Grande Padre and La Famiglia de Jiren are facing off"
>"El Hermano was a peaceful soul, born into a time of war. In spite of being the prodigy of the most violent clan in the multiverse, the Ayykatsuki, he sought only to hone his mind and dreamed of being a teacher"
>*shot of El Hermano working out in the library, while helping Jiren with basic arithmetic*
>"Yet his own family never understood him, believing his isolation and contempt to be the gulf between his ability and theirs. 1000. 2000. Over 9000 He crunched the powerlevels, realising war between La Famiglia and we masters of angel ki would end all of existence. Disdaining companions, he sought the most logical path to peace-and made a dark pact with me to betray his own clan"
>*shot of El Hermano committing genocide with the help of Grande Padre's energy*
>"Only his innocent younger brother was spared. With steel resolve El Hermano cut down Jiren's hopes and dreams"
>*shot of Jiren screaming as El Hermano flips him"
>"But he never lost sight of the bigger picture. Yes, I was only the lesser of two evils! So El Hermano walked the multiverse, thwarting my plans. One by one, my armies joined Jiren's teacher-the man who lived El Hermano's dream-in the grave. He became such a threat, I was forced to use my pawn Zeno's strength of destruction to erase him"
>*shot of El Hermano trying to shield innocent bystanders as Zeno erases the universes over a noise complaint*
>"But he survived, by attaining something beyond strength. The stupid could do nothing but dance blindly for the intelligent...and now, all the information of the destroyed universes were engraved into El Hermano's mind"
>*shot of El Hermano shaking the infinite void in moral outrage as his cranium grows even bigger and he wills himself back into existence*
>"Having seen countless lives abandoned for a lack of foresight, El Hermano was filled with outrage. That's when he realised that strength is worthless. And he also realised that intellect is justice. Intellect is absolute. Intellect is the only thing that can stand against my iron faith, and balance the multiverse. Even then, I was drawn to El Hermano's passion for intellect, and his solitude"

...
And then we had a big dumb fight, right after Grande Padre realised he probably shouldn't have called himself evil.

Trunks insisted we needed Gohan to defeat El Hermano, and Chronoa had fainted so nobody was around to stop him. By then Gohan had finally achieved Perfeccion Cell's prophesised potential which, as Margarita said, on closer expectation was basically Ultra Instinct brute forced by powerful emotion.

With one backhand, El Hermano just slapped him unconscious.

(Cont'd)

So once again, it fell to the Time Patrollers to patrol the SHIT out of time. Dumplin held El Hermano back with his blasts while Puddin floated like Mohammad Ali and stung like Mike Tyson. The battle was so serious I pulled out Broken Dawn while pitching in.

"So, you too are metaverse level" he said as my gestalt holy spear fought against the blue energy wrenching at it. His eyes narrowed. "Good. You are an acceptable backup plan. Even Grande Padre can't stop what's coming. Had I only been allowed to execute that man, a great calamity could have been avoided today"

"You'll never hurt another living being, you monster!" shouted Jiren, rushing in.

"Still too slow, still too reckless"

"Or am I?" retorted Jiren, taking a big hit. With that distraction, Android Launch (the fusion of 18 and Launch) struck El Hermano from behind with a blast overcharged with all the killi caused by his battles. Then he was buried alive in a horde of Arales, and my Towa worked with Dumplin's Towa to trap El Hermano between two portals. Finally the rebel angels impaled him with their staffs to channel time through him faster than thought, and just as El Hermano was about to get his second wind Jiren snuck up and put him in a sleeper hold-

-right as I'd pulled out McGucket's memory gun to hold to his temple. "Looks like you figured it out. Only intellect can reach intellect. Good job, dimwit" said El Hermano, inclining his head in reverse to Jiren. "I'm proud of you"

And as I pulled the trigger, he vanished in a flash of blue.

And with that, the rest of my time running the Time Patrol was...almost boring. Turns out El Hermano had been causing Towa and Demigra to operate at cross purposes, and removing Grande Padre's influence had stabilised the timeline in the long term. We never found out where he went, nor what he was truly after. Not until the Tournament of Power arc.

But that is another story.

>FIN

[Dragon Ball Super redux]

Drawbacks: Put Out a Hit, Chained Pet, God Has Subscribed, Interesting Life, Delayed Onset Ki Disorder, Weakness of the Heart, Believer of Justice, Strange Phobia: Comic Books, Monkish, Icy Pride (2900)

Universe 13

(1300, +3600 RP)
Cosmetics: Heretical
Mentality: Titanic
Import: Devil-Tigers (Exalted) (3500)
PopulationX4 (3200)
HomelandX2 (3000)
Tech LevelX2 (2900)
Martial LevelX2 (2600)
PositionX2 (2450)
Tag Along (2350)
Natural Ki AffinityX2 (2150)
Godly Ki (1950)
Magic Potential: Materialization, Healing (1750)
Limitless Energy (1550)
Super Cells (1150)
Life Support (1100)
RegenerationX3 (800)
Enhanced Physical AbilityX2 (500)
SizeX2 (0)


Noppelganger (Free)
Image Training (Free)
Family Man (Free)
Chill Out (Free)
Equilibrium (Free)
Super Power (Free)
Jumper Is Stronger Than Time (1000)
Time Ends All Men (700)
That's My Bulma! (400)
Radish Farmer
Hot Spring Water
Import (0):
-Cus: Administrator, Super Power (Free), Connoiseur (Free), Linguistic Lord (Free), Long Life Habits (Free), Eventful Lifestyle (Free), Helluva Woman (Free), Son of God (300), Super Cells (+600, 200), Limitless Energy (0)
-Vados: Villain, Super Power (Free), In Three Months Time (Free), The Heroic Rogue, Really (Free), Ki Technician (Free), Witchcraft (Free), NINGEN (Free), Mutant (300), Super Cells (+600, 200), Limitless Energy (0)
-Marcarita: Survivor, Super Power (Free), Hide Away Now (Free), Mad Survivor (Free), Observing Eye (Free), Magetta Man (Free), Take Pride (Free), Living Legend (300), Super Cells (+600, 200), Limitless Energy (0)
-18: Villain, Super Power (Free), In Three Months Time (Free), The Heroic Rogue, Really (Free), Ki Technician (Free), Witchcraft (Free), NINGEN (Free), Mutant (300), Super Cells (+600, 200), God Ki (0)
-Launch: Survivor, Super Power (Free), Hide Away Now (Free), Mad Survivor (Free), Observing Eye (Free), Magetta Man (Free), Take Pride (Free), Living Legend (300), Super Cells (+600, 200), Limitless Energy (0)
-Merged Arale: Villain, Super Power (Free), In Three Months Time (Free), The Heroic Rogue, Really (Free), Ki Technician (Free), Witchcraft (Free), NINGEN (Free), Mutant (300), Super Cells (+600, 200), Limitless Energy (0)
-Helles: Survivor, Super Power (Free), Hide Away Now (Free), Mad Survivor (Free), Observing Eye (Free), Magetta Man (Free), Take Pride (Free), Living Legend (300), Super Cells (+600, 200), Limitless Energy (0)
-Chronoa: Administrator, Super Power (Free), Connoiseur (Free), Linguistic Lord (Free), Long Life Habits (Free), Eventful Lifestyle (Free), Helluva Woman (Free), Son of God (300), Super Cells (+600, 200), Limitless Energy (0)


The fight against the neckbeardiest of Jiren's family wasn't going well, somehow. It wasn't a good start to the decade, and the worst part was: Something worse was coming. Something that shook me to the very core of my soul I could feel it in my water.

Guy.
Guy, slow down please.
Oh geeze, I. Aw c'mon, don't be punching so quickly
No I'll be FINE in just a minute, a fraction of infinity is still infinity after all, I'm just not up to it right now.
I just.
I can't.
...
...Mr. Especialista, I don't feel so good...

When I regained consciousness MUI Shaggy, Hakaishin Doo and Gohan Blanco 100% Por Ciento were battling the Especialista. During the improabbly long breaks in the fighting, they explained that each of La Famiglia de Jiren specialised their tremendous strength in a different area. Jiren, being a dimwit, chose strength which was just redundant. El Especialista's speciality was specialisations, and since I was overspecialised he had easily bypassed my techniques.

(1/6)

"Like dude, are you alright?" asked Shaggy after he had won the battle with his Zoinks! Cannon. "You don't look too well, like maybe you should spend some time off the front lines". He and Scooby shared a look I couldn't read.

But I agreed. All the new threats would be easier to handle off the front lines. Like the new archangels had been wrecking havoc in the universes.

"Don't worry, I'll protect the multiverse without fail!" said Gohan, trying to hide his relief at having legitimitely won a battle for once. "I've trained like a beast! I've more than made up for my mother raising me to be a nerd all these years ago, I won't let you down!

"Rell, rat Supreme Krai randidate wuz rassashshinated rhy Rande Padre's royal rildren" said the Hakaishin of Universe 13. "Sho, re gotta shtop El Grande Padre's Tournament!"

The tournament was a setup, one wish luring out all the greatest fighters of the multiverse and trick them into killing each other. El Grande Abuelo and Aku no Saiyan were disqualified for ripping a hole in the World of Void. Raditz (Forma de Hermano) was butchered by the almighty power of Carl the Farmer's gun. Vegeta LGBT's Social Saiyan Justice Warrior form was no match for Kefura Kawaii. Tienshinhan Cierto Místico and Chiaotzu Gigante self destructed simultaneously. Oh, and Krillin was there.

There were a few other universes too, but let's face it: They were irrelevant.

So I just sat back and fiddled with the Divine Machine before anyone could figure out they were slowly turning into a metaphor.

>"Gohan, my dude, stop showing off and fulfill your destiny!" said Shaggy as he expertly defeated Trashman Calvo.
>"Just give me a moment! I still haven't used any of my special moves!" said Gohan as he put El Primo in a chokehold
>"Ruh roh, re's become El Prezzhedente!" said Scooby, as a chunk of Zeno fell onto the arena

Looking back, I realised this was where things started to go wrong.

(2/6)

"Esto es el fin, Grande-wha?" said Gohan.

"Oh. Hey Gohan" said El Grande Padre as he turned away from his archnemesis. "Listen, can you take a number and go to the back of the tournament queue or something? This is the two million six hundred and seventy-fifth time we've fought, at this rate I'll never conquer the multiverse if I have to keep resetting the timeline"

"Why are you fighting Kefura? I've mastered all seven sacred languages, like spanish, Super Spanish and the Divine Language! My power dwarfs hers!"

"Okay, Gohan? First of all Super Spanish is just a form of spanish that sacrifices grammatical accuracy for volume" said Kefura. "Second of all, the Divine Language is so weak it has the same powerlevel as backwards japanese. I've used the angelic language of the Kabbalah to obtain Super Saiyan Briah. Spirit wind" she added, pointing at El Grande Padre.

"Energy tree" retorted EGP, parrying the energy wind attack. "It's no use Kefura, I've already attained Super Saiyan Atziluth! Now that I've collected all the Legendary Sefirot Dragon Balls, none of you stand a chance!"

"Dammit! I'll just have to tingle my back even harder!"

"O-oh yeah!?" mumbled Gohan, tears welling up in his eyes. "I'll just achieve a form that GOES FURTHER BEYOND Atziluth! Then you'll have to take me seriously!"

"...Gohan, maybe you should take a break from fighting. You're going to go bald from stress" said Shaggy.

"CALVO IS ABOUT CONTROL, AND STOP IGNORING ME YOU ASS OF A FATHER!" screamed Gohan.

"Or am I your brother Goten? Or just the father of the angels?" asked EGP. "The contamination may have been worse than I thought. No matter. You foolish child, you have no idea what sacrifices I've made to obtain unparalleled power and defeat the TRUE threat to our world. Let's just say that just because Zamasu was wrong, doesn't mean he was incorrect"

(3/6)

Gohan yelled a lot and shot energy balls, but nobody really paid attention. Scooby had gone into the stands to pretend he didn't know anyone at the tournament. Even Shaggy had wandered off. His questions about "the contamination" ignored, Gohan seathed impotently as he watched his padre and Red Shirt Shaggy struggle against El Hermano's Partzuf-hame-ha.

Just like he had in the Cell Games.
Just like he had after being engulfed by Majin Buu.
Just like...JUST LIKE...

"AAAAAAAAaaAAAAaaAAaaaaaAAAaAAaaa" screamed Gohan, his ki turning black and flashing. "THAT'S IT, I WON'T LET ANYONE LOOK DOWN ON ME EVER AGAIN!" he yelled, as he disappeared.

"Oh no. I understand now, Gohan was the contaminant's puppet all along!" shouted EGP.

"Of course he was, dimwit" said El Hermano. "I let you redirect it's corruption at the wrong entity to doom your reign of terror, now we must end it once and for all"

"You bastard! But well played. Everyone, please stop fighting and watch out for Gohan's-"

"Psssh, nothing personal Padre" said Gohan from behind him. He pulled the trigger. With a choking gasp, El Grande Padre fell to his knees. "Watch out everyone, he's got a GUN!"

Gohan smiled like a horny mass murderer. There was no longer any need for words, he had inherited the will of the destroyed gods of destruction Eric and Dylan. The other fighters were no match for him, he simply pointed and fired (El Hermano keeled over, desperately clutching his wound). Pointed and fired (Kefla tripped and died). It was so easily, now that God was dead he just had to make perfectly sure he DOESN'T EXIST.

Gohan used instant transmission to reach the World of Meta, which illuminates the World of Void. There Toribot was having a friendly sparring match with Airelav in her golden form and Captain En-B.

(4/6)

"YOU!" bellowed Gohan. "I understand now, you are the reason for all my failures!"

"...who are you again?" asked Toribot.

"You know! Gohan, the ultimate hero who was supposed to succeed Goku!"

"I'm sorry kid, you just don't look like main character material" said Toribot.

"Maybe if you'd just given me a chance, I wouldn't get so cocky after every fight! Maybe if you let me fight more I wouldn't be so cocky! Maybe if you hadn't let that OTHER powerful man into the world, I'd finally be able to make a name for myself!"

"Hey, that wasn't Toribot's fault" said Airelav. "That was his Benefactor's"

"WELL YOU CAN ALL EAT LEAD. Ultimate shooting spree!". And then Toribot fell over with a bullet hole in his head.

Yep. My instincts were right, things were looking pretty bad-

>Worlds away, I was asking El Grande Padre y Hermano if they could manage the Divine Machine's controls
>"Of course we can! We've been preparing for this day for countless timelines! Go, stop Gohan while he's still distracted!" said Grande Padre, spitting blood.
>"Dimwit...we're both finished, all we can do is...not enough" said EL Hermano. "It's a shame, had you all seen what comes next the conquest of the multiverse would be a mercy in comparison"

-but as I erupted into the Meta World to see Airelav and En-B stalemating Columbinehan, I realised Gohan had never seen one technique of mine. I pinched him lightly on the neck a few times, just as he brought his gun around and fired.

He gasped as the bullet bounced harmlessly off my flames. "T-that's impossible! You can't...you can't possibly be more powerful than A GUN!"

Who knows, I replied. Maybe I was still stronger than your marksmanship, but I'm not taking any chances. Have you noticed you aren't in your Columbine form yet? Thanks to my Dunamis, form reversion technique and irreversible destruction you're merely a Super Saiyan 1 Quadrillion!

(5/6)

"NOOOOoooo! " shouted Gohan Gris, desperately raising a much weaker gun that was neutralised by a wave of killi. As I thought the immense conflict radiating from Gohan was giving Towa, Orla and the other demons immense energy. For now, the demons were definitely stronger than guns.

The fight ended up being the demons holding down Gohan while I pinched him repeatedly. He roared, he broke his limits, he broke down crying for mercy right until the Sefirot Dragon Balls were aligned with the divine machine. And at long last, a wish was made that sealed away "the contamination".

>"Listen to me" said El Hermano, as he started fading away. "The contamination is indestructible, but by wishing for a Super Tzim-Tzum we can seal it away at the cost of all true power. Even then it will only be rendered inert, it has always been a part of our reality. You and your friends will be the only reminders of the pure world, so do us all proud...and don't let those dimwits get you down"
>Wait! Before you go, what IS the contamination?
>"Not what, who!" shouted El Grande Padre over the roaring light and rushing wind. "He knows of you!"
>Nyarlathotep? HERE?!
>"HE'S WORSE!" "HE IS THE END!" they shouted, as everything disappered

...but at what cost?

>[Dragon Ball Super intro]
>An emperor decided it really was best he rebuild his empire and never show his face on Earth again
>A young kai never met Goku because he'd found some tea leaves on a peaceful planet
>A god of destruction took his brother food shopping

In his study, Gohan looked out the window at his father having a friendly beer with Frieza and 17. That tournament had really brought everyone together, but all he wanted to do was study. And deep down, he knew that was all he'd ever do.

>FIN