an eveninggg

0
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000
INDOXXI
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1
00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:44,811
Tyrone, what blend
is that bag?

2
00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:49,649
Winter. Oh, shit.
Sorry, Shane.

3
00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:51,852
Please, pay better attention.

4
00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:56,193
It's just, we never had
a mid-winter blend before

5
00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:58,400
and it's like,
"Why? And who cares?"

6
00:01:58,702 --> 00:01:59,942
I can't think
about that, Tyrone

7
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:01,657
and neither should you.

8
00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:05,786
Good morning, Lulu.

9
00:02:06,418 --> 00:02:07,750
Good morning, Carl.

10
00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:10,791
Hey, Lulu, check this out.

11
00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:21,131
Are you breakdancing, Carl?

12
00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:24,180
Yes, it's body-popping.

13
00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:27,808
Guys! No dancing.
Get back to work.

14
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:37,984
Excuse me.

15
00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:41,071
Excuse me.

16
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,823
May I have
a large cappuccino, please?

17
00:02:57,719 --> 00:03:00,302
Here you go, sir.
One large cappuccino.

18
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:02,804
Thank you. Is Mr Danger here?

19
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,807
Yeah, hang on a second.

20
00:03:13,235 --> 00:03:16,569
Hi. Shane Danger. Manager.

21
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,022
Mr Danger, I'm Barry Ofeld,

22
00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:21,649
with Human Resources,
from our corporate office.

23
00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:24,694
Is there somewhere
we can speak in private?

24
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:31,997
The reason for my visit

25
00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:33,661
is the company
is in the process

26
00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:35,584
of scaling back operations.

27
00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:37,503
This means
making across-the-board

28
00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:39,458
personnel cuts, Mr Danger.

29
00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:41,804
Oh.

30
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:43,845
Unfortunately,
we must ask you to relieve

31
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,223
one of your employees
of their responsibilities.

32
00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:48,676
I will leave that
to your discretion

33
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:51,262
but we'd like this to
happen immediately, Mr Danger.

34
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:52,772
Do you have any questions?

35
00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:54,482
No, I don't think so.

36
00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:58,686
Times are tough, Mr Danger.
Better one of them than you.

37
00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:00,988
Good point.

38
00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:09,371
Not a very good cappuccino.

39
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:12,829
If you'll excuse me.

40
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,666
That guy was
checking you out, Lulu.

41
00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:23,799
No, I was
checking him out, Carl.

42
00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:33,433
It wasn't that funny, Carl.

43
00:04:35,901 --> 00:04:38,359
Lulu, if you could see me
in my office?

44
00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:40,485
Certainly.

45
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:58,455
I'm sorry, there was nothing
I could do about it.

46
00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:01,002
You can stop going on
about it.

47
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:03,254
I don't care about the job.

48
00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:11,263
Oh, someone told me today

49
00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:13,436
what they were building
behind the hardware centre.

50
00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:18,725
Oh, but I can't remember
what it was.

51
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,281
Oh, I remember now.

52
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,868
They're putting in a state-of-the-art
fitness centre

53
00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:38,669
behind the hardware centre.

54
00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:42,255
Might have to get my gym back on.

55
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,090
Thanks, sweetie.

56
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,935
Now I have to find my way
to bed in the dark.

57
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:06,407
Sweetie,

58
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:10,534
five dollars for fun.

59
00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:12,723
Why don't you enjoy yourself
and buy one of those

60
00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:14,158
cinnamon swirly things

61
00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:15,831
you like so much
from the bakeshop?

62
00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:21,211
I will see you later,
won't I, sweetie?

63
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:37,519
Kinda does feel
like a morgue with Lulu gone.

64
00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:39,273
She was fun.

65
00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:41,599
Yeah, well,
she got fired, Carl.

66
00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:43,355
Times are tough.

67
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,360
We have jobs to do,
and this is what happens

68
00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:47,359
when you don't do your job.

69
00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:49,990
So, we have
our first casualty, guys.

70
00:06:50,869 --> 00:06:52,451
Might not be our last.

71
00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:02,607
Are you going to have problems
with your marriage

72
00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:04,042
now you fired
your wife, Shane?

73
00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:06,624
No, I'm not
going to have problems

74
00:07:06,718 --> 00:07:08,425
with my marriage now, Tyrone.

75
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,382
I have a tremendous marriage.

76
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:13,180
In fact, Lulu is relieved
not to be working.

77
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:15,341
Well,
I got problems, Shane.

78
00:07:15,644 --> 00:07:17,306
My mom just got diabetes.

79
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:19,846
I have to buy her a little
scooter to get her around,

80
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,226
but I don't have no money.

81
00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:24,730
I'm sorry about that,
but you have to save, Tyrone.

82
00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:27,069
I save everything I can,

83
00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:30,110
and I think positive
all the time.

84
00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:34,618
Okay, I have to take a shit.

85
00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:36,988
Can you guys man the shop
for 25 minutes?

86
00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:38,082
Sure.

87
00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:46,213
Who shits for 25 minutes?

88
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:55,386
Hey, nearly birthday girl.
Can I make you a cappuccino?

89
00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:58,426
Oh, I used to
make cappuccinos.

90
00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:01,346
Sweetie, Mr Ofeld said,

91
00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:04,728
"Either the both of you go,
or just the girl."

92
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:07,230
"The girl's gonna go
anyway though,"

93
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:10,776
so I chose to stay so at least
one of us has a job.

94
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:13,650
You seem sad.

95
00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:18,120
Yeah, well, this TV
is really shitty, you know?

96
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:20,994
That's what I want
for my birthday.

97
00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:23,208
A new bigger, better TV,

98
00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:25,040
so I can sit
in front of it all day

99
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:26,996
untill my ass gets
so fat and flat

100
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:28,422
we have to get a new couch.

101
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,005
Don't say that.

102
00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:35,425
Plus, we don't have
that kind of money right now.

103
00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:37,886
Not until I become
area manager,

104
00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:40,093
which I think
is gonna happen, by the way.

105
00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:46,728
Now that's a real cappuccino.

106
00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:51,229
Maybe I should ask my brother
for a new TV.

107
00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:53,989
He's got that kind of money
in his cash box.

108
00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:58,410
Who, Adjay?
Yeah, right.

109
00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:06,418
How much money does Adjay have
in his cash box?

110
00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:09,376
More than what you have
in your tiny little cash box.

111
00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:12,503
I don't have
a fucking cash box.

112
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,881
There's no way
that little fucking vegan

113
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:20,307
has more money than me.

114
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:21,884
No, he does.

115
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:29,149
If anyone needs me,
I'll be in the bath.

116
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:44,456
An evening with Beverley Luff Linn

117
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:48,958
for one magical night only.

118
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:52,085
Beverly. Beverly Luff Linn.

119
00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:02,971
Is that you, sweetie?

120
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:05,354
Yes.

121
00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:10,437
Sweetie,
exactly how much money

122
00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:12,109
is in Adjay's cash box?

123
00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:16,365
A lot.

124
00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:25,288
Sweetie, I don't understand

125
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:27,165
how Adjay has got
all this fucking money.

126
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:29,289
He saves.

127
00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:31,203
So do fucking I.

128
00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:33,797
Well, Adjay saves
more than fucking you.

129
00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:47,556
Okay, do we all know
what we're doing?

130
00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:48,979
I'm staying in the car.

131
00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:50,640
I'm walking in
with you, Shane,

132
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:53,191
and asking a guy to take me
to the Grains of Paradise.

133
00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:54,797
And he will take you
to the back of the store,

134
00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:56,028
to the spice aisle.

135
00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:57,150
Yes, he will.

136
00:10:57,407 --> 00:10:59,524
And you will keep him there
as long as possible.

137
00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:00,653
Yes, I will.

138
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,657
Let's do this.

139
00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:18,585
How may I help you, gentlemen?

140
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,928
Take me
to the Grains of Paradise.

141
00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:23,589
Wow, your face
is very shiny, man.

142
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:25,966
Yeah, my family has thyroid.

143
00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:30,229
I will take you to
the Grains of Paradise, come.

144
00:11:40,575 --> 00:11:42,111
This is
the highest grade.

145
00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:44,322
This is the best
Grains of Paradise.

146
00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:45,621
Okay, yes?

147
00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:49,744
You don't look well, man.

148
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,668
Where is your friend,
by the way?

149
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:54,190
Oh, he's just
at the front of the store,

150
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,455
looking for a couple of items.

151
00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:57,498
How many kinds are there?

152
00:11:58,426 --> 00:11:59,426
This is the cheaper.

153
00:11:59,677 --> 00:12:01,259
This is the cheaper
Grains of Paradise?

154
00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:06,431
Hey! What the fuck
are you doing, man?

155
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:11,308
Are you trying to rob me, man?

156
00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:14,139
What the fuck is going on?

157
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:16,395
Shane? Is that you?

158
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,237
Adjay?

159
00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:20,021
What the fuck, Shane?

160
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,484
Are you seriously trying
to rob me?

161
00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:24,358
No. Are you fucking crazy?

162
00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:27,702
Okay. Now, Tyrone, run! Go!

163
00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:38,251
Carl, drive!

164
00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:05,367
Miss?

165
00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:26,754
Cinnamon bullshit.

166
00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:33,435
Who is this
fucking Shane Danger?

167
00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:35,929
He's my fucking
brother-in-law.

168
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:40,268
He shot a fucking hole
in your ceiling.

169
00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:43,817
Yes, and then he ran off
with my fucking cash box

170
00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:45,359
with my fucking savings.

171
00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:47,111
You think?

172
00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:50,698
Fucking Shane Danger!

173
00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:52,996
That's not even
a fucking real name!

174
00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:54,702
Stupid fucking fucks!

175
00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:02,999
So, this Shane Danger,
he's got some new monies, huh?

176
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:04,459
Yes.

177
00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:06,338
I'm just rolling through town,

178
00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:08,003
and then I hear
you want the monies

179
00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:09,679
back from this Shane Danger.

180
00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:10,882
I can help you do that.

181
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:14,389
Really? I was gonna talk
to my cousin, Poony.

182
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:17,972
Forget Cousin Poony.
This is what I do.

183
00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:21,858
Tell me more.

184
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,482
You give me
Shane Danger's address,

185
00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:26,029
I bring you the cash box,

186
00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:27,982
you give me $200.

187
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,317
You must blow out his kneecap.

188
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:34,489
Yeah. I promise you, I will
blow out both his kneecaps.

189
00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:38,830
Valerie! We need a pen
and a fucking paper!

190
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:43,001
I need to write Shane Danger's
address down for this man.

191
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:40,388
Okay, time to open
the glove box, Colin. Yep.

192
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:56,032
Cash box. Kneecaps.

193
00:16:43,294 --> 00:16:45,081
Are you the party man,
party man?

194
00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:51,967
Oh, hey, sweetie.

195
00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:54,146
Are you going to let
the party man in, Shane?

196
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:55,796
Sure. Who is he?

197
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,136
- I'm Colin.
- Colin.

198
00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:01,226
Coming in
for a drink, Colin?

199
00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:03,897
Yes, I am.

200
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:23,090
Why do you always
make that brown shit?

201
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:25,204
Because it's a fan favourite.

202
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,454
Do you think
Colin will like it?

203
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,936
Kinda looks like a shit shake.

204
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:53,691
So how do you guys know Colin?

205
00:17:55,992 --> 00:17:57,344
I thought
you knew this guy.

206
00:17:57,368 --> 00:17:58,368
I don't know him.

207
00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:00,748
You told me to
invite him in for a drink.

208
00:18:00,955 --> 00:18:02,241
You don't have to do
what I say.

209
00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:07,368
Who the fuck is this guy?

210
00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:16,377
Colin? Who the fuck are you?

211
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,430
You stole the cash box
from Adjay,

212
00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:22,303
now Adjay wants
his monies back!

213
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,643
So pull out the cash box
from behind the couch!

214
00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:26,932
Now, before I blow out
these kneecaps!

215
00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:38,106
Colin, grab the cash box.

216
00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:41,530
Grab the fucking cash box!
Grab it!

217
00:18:42,079 --> 00:18:43,999
- Now give me the gun.
- That ain't gonna happen.

218
00:18:46,417 --> 00:18:48,579
Now, let's go. Go! Move!

219
00:18:50,004 --> 00:18:52,747
Faster! Get... Get my coat!

220
00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:55,340
- Is that your car?
- Yes, it is.

221
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:58,760
Good, get in! Get in!

222
00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:04,383
Drive!

223
00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:10,648
Lulu! Where are you going?
Come back here, sweetie!

224
00:19:11,025 --> 00:19:13,733
She's gone, Shane, and she's
taken the fucking money!

225
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:18,814
Oh, really, Tyrone?
'Cause I wasn't here.

226
00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:20,444
Tell me what else
fucking happened!

227
00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:23,138
Are we taking the cash box
to Adjay?

228
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:26,781
- No! We're not.
- No.

229
00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:28,789
And I will be asking
the questions now.

230
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:29,918
Okay.

231
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:32,418
We're going
on an adventure, Colin.

232
00:19:32,797 --> 00:19:33,797
Do you like adventures?

233
00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:36,715
I do. Adventures, I like them.

234
00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:39,088
- Do you promise?
- I like adventures, yeah.

235
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:40,720
Good.

236
00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:43,634
Are you a good guy
or a bad guy?

237
00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:44,927
I'm a good guy.

238
00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:47,769
Good.

239
00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:13,665
Good evening, my name is Lawrence.
Welcome to the Moorhouse Hotel.

240
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:17,251
Thank you, Lawrence.
We would like a room.

241
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:24,513
Oh, that looks fun.
Is Mr Lufflinn staying here too?

242
00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:29,389
It's Luff Linn. Two words.

243
00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:32,847
Oh, and we'll need a room
with two twins' beds, please.

244
00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:35,102
Is it two twins' beds,

245
00:20:35,192 --> 00:20:38,276
or two twins bed, or is it two twin bed?

246
00:20:40,531 --> 00:20:42,818
I'm not really sure about that
kind of thing, it's not...

247
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:44,736
Perhaps we should ask Mr Beverly?

248
00:20:49,957 --> 00:20:51,994
Oh, lookie here,
it looks like you're in lucky.

249
00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:55,039
- Is breakfast included?
- We'll take it.

250
00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:58,379
Wonderful. Key time.

251
00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:06,677
Magical event. Magical Luff Linn.

252
00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:14,521
Okay, well, this is my kind
of hotel room.

253
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:16,274
You take that bed.

254
00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:19,692
Okay.

255
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:34,082
Colin, do you think you could
give me a massage?

256
00:21:35,377 --> 00:21:36,377
Yes.

257
00:21:38,005 --> 00:21:39,371
I can do that.

258
00:21:46,388 --> 00:21:48,675
- Like this?
- Mmm-hmm.

259
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,842
- How's this?
- Mmm-hmm.

260
00:21:52,728 --> 00:21:55,141
- And this?
- Mmm-hmm.

261
00:22:01,612 --> 00:22:03,524
I needed to get away from my husband.

262
00:22:04,615 --> 00:22:06,982
Aren't you worried
about people coming after us?

263
00:22:07,952 --> 00:22:09,944
Adjay must be very upset and angry.

264
00:22:10,496 --> 00:22:12,203
Adjay would never come after us.

265
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:15,908
He's had terrifying panic attacks
since we were children,

266
00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:18,709
because he choked on
too much breast milk as a baby.

267
00:22:19,797 --> 00:22:21,413
I didn't know that was a possibility.

268
00:22:22,216 --> 00:22:23,377
Choking on breast milk?

269
00:22:25,928 --> 00:22:27,385
Choking on too much breast milk.

270
00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:29,347
Mmm-hmm.

271
00:22:33,936 --> 00:22:35,893
Okay, that's enough. Thank you.

272
00:22:41,277 --> 00:22:45,521
Colin, I need you to protect me, okay?
Can you handle that?

273
00:22:45,614 --> 00:22:46,695
Yes, I can do that.

274
00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:49,159
Are you sure you don't have
any other commitments?

275
00:22:49,285 --> 00:22:50,992
No, I don't have any other commitments.

276
00:22:51,662 --> 00:22:53,324
In fact, putting myself in harm's way

277
00:22:53,414 --> 00:22:55,747
for the benefit of others
is exactly what I do.

278
00:22:58,419 --> 00:22:59,419
Good.

279
00:23:06,552 --> 00:23:07,793
I'm going to take a bath.

280
00:23:08,971 --> 00:23:10,087
Why don't you watch...

281
00:23:11,140 --> 00:23:12,221
TV?

282
00:23:51,555 --> 00:23:52,796
Here comes din-dins.

283
00:23:56,060 --> 00:23:57,060
You buckled up?

284
00:23:58,228 --> 00:24:00,390
Hmmmm!

285
00:24:01,190 --> 00:24:03,227
Right, let's try and find this hotel

286
00:24:03,484 --> 00:24:05,084
that apparently no one knows
the name of.

287
00:24:05,819 --> 00:24:07,151
Hmmm!

288
00:24:19,041 --> 00:24:20,577
Have you heard anything from Lulu?

289
00:24:21,418 --> 00:24:22,499
I haven't heard anything.

290
00:24:25,923 --> 00:24:28,961
Hello, Shane. Do you have my money?

291
00:24:31,637 --> 00:24:33,970
No, Adjay. Have you talked to Colin?

292
00:24:34,556 --> 00:24:36,923
Colin is a double-crossing shit!

293
00:24:37,434 --> 00:24:39,391
Well, my wife
and your money are with him,

294
00:24:39,478 --> 00:24:41,265
so you might want to track him down.

295
00:24:41,522 --> 00:24:44,890
Track him down, Shane?
I'm a fucking vegan!

296
00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:49,569
I'm coming every day
until you find my fucking money.

297
00:24:49,905 --> 00:24:52,272
Did you hear me, you fat loser?

298
00:24:55,953 --> 00:25:00,368
Adjay, please leave!
You're causing a disturbance! Now!

299
00:25:01,375 --> 00:25:04,789
I will leave,
and then I will come back again

300
00:25:05,087 --> 00:25:10,082
for my fucking M-O-N-E-Y!

301
00:25:13,679 --> 00:25:15,671
Wow.

302
00:25:16,056 --> 00:25:18,264
Why has my wife run off
with a fucking criminal?

303
00:25:18,434 --> 00:25:20,426
Maybe she was
sexually attracted to him?

304
00:25:20,769 --> 00:25:23,933
I've definitely read women
are attracted to mens with guns.

305
00:25:25,899 --> 00:25:26,899
"Mens"?

306
00:25:27,317 --> 00:25:29,559
Yeah, the gun is like a penis.

307
00:25:30,487 --> 00:25:32,103
Yeah, the male penis.

308
00:25:42,291 --> 00:25:43,953
Why are we buying all these outfits?

309
00:25:44,585 --> 00:25:46,918
Because I need outfits, Colin.

310
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:54,092
I'm going to be honest with you.

311
00:25:55,929 --> 00:25:58,012
Although I don't know
quite what's going on,

312
00:25:59,224 --> 00:26:00,635
I'm having a great time, Lulu.

313
00:26:02,227 --> 00:26:04,093
And...

314
00:26:05,314 --> 00:26:07,397
And you nailed it
with these cheesy onion rings. Mmm.

315
00:26:10,527 --> 00:26:14,737
Listen, there is an event
tomorrow night at the hotel.

316
00:26:15,699 --> 00:26:16,985
We're going to it, okay?

317
00:26:17,785 --> 00:26:18,821
An event?

318
00:26:18,994 --> 00:26:20,826
Do you remember
the man in the plaid hat,

319
00:26:21,330 --> 00:26:24,448
from the large man-shaped poster
near the hotel reception?

320
00:26:24,833 --> 00:26:28,497
Mr Beverly? Beverly is a woman's name.

321
00:26:29,046 --> 00:26:30,628
No. I don't think so.

322
00:26:30,798 --> 00:26:32,630
It is. It's a Scottish woman's name.

323
00:26:32,883 --> 00:26:35,466
- Beverly is a man's name.
- It's a very feminine name.

324
00:26:35,552 --> 00:26:37,760
No, it isn't, Colin.
It's a very masculine name.

325
00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:41,284
I went to school
with a girl called Beverly.

326
00:26:41,308 --> 00:26:44,142
No, Colin. Beverly is a man's name.

327
00:26:45,187 --> 00:26:46,519
Beverly is a woman's name.

328
00:26:46,647 --> 00:26:49,060
No, Colin.
Beverly is a man's name.

329
00:26:51,735 --> 00:26:52,735
Okay.

330
00:26:58,408 --> 00:27:00,616
Oh, my goodness. Mmm.

331
00:27:01,995 --> 00:27:04,578
Yeah. This is so indulgent.

332
00:27:05,749 --> 00:27:07,741
I'm gonna need to do
some exercise after this.

333
00:27:17,928 --> 00:27:19,214
Can you please
wipe your mouth?

334
00:27:19,972 --> 00:27:21,679
It's absolutely disgusting.

335
00:27:32,526 --> 00:27:35,940
What are you doing? Don't do that.
Just get the stuff out of the back.

336
00:27:53,255 --> 00:27:55,588
I believe we have
a junior suite on reservation?

337
00:27:56,049 --> 00:27:59,292
Yes, we have you
in our Loch Lomond suite,

338
00:27:59,761 --> 00:28:01,377
with a balcony and a pool view.

339
00:28:01,763 --> 00:28:03,575
Would you like me to keep
the reservation charges

340
00:28:03,599 --> 00:28:05,090
under Von Donschlonger?

341
00:28:05,184 --> 00:28:08,052
- It's Von Donkensteiger.
- Is that German?

342
00:28:08,562 --> 00:28:11,600
Yes. Actually, my father
was a German Shepherd.

343
00:28:11,815 --> 00:28:12,815
He looked quite like you.

344
00:28:13,066 --> 00:28:14,102
You mean, like the dog?

345
00:28:14,735 --> 00:28:16,021
Yeah, like the woof-woof.

346
00:28:16,987 --> 00:28:18,774
Hmmm! Hm.

347
00:28:18,906 --> 00:28:20,272
We are very excited for

348
00:28:20,657 --> 00:28:27,075
An Evening with Beverly Luff Linn,
for one magical night only.

349
00:28:28,999 --> 00:28:30,115
Hmm.

350
00:28:33,295 --> 00:28:35,503
You look more like a dog
than a dog does.

351
00:28:50,979 --> 00:28:51,979
No.

352
00:29:25,973 --> 00:29:28,590
One of those jets is shooting water
up the back of my shorts.

353
00:29:31,645 --> 00:29:33,181
It's quite a delicious feeling.

354
00:30:48,972 --> 00:30:50,133
Let's go downstairs.

355
00:30:54,978 --> 00:30:58,517
Good evening, I'm the Captain.
What can I get you folks?

356
00:30:59,066 --> 00:31:01,399
I would like a Rumble in the Heather.

357
00:31:01,902 --> 00:31:03,438
And I'll have a Rum and a Ramble.

358
00:31:04,237 --> 00:31:05,444
Coming up.

359
00:31:07,949 --> 00:31:09,594
You know,
those might have poo on them.

360
00:31:09,618 --> 00:31:11,530
You don't want to get poo
in your mouth, do you?

361
00:31:12,829 --> 00:31:15,663
Oh, no. No, we're not eating
these poo nuts.

362
00:31:15,916 --> 00:31:19,330
Here you go, ma'am. Here's your drink.
And here you go, sir.

363
00:31:19,753 --> 00:31:22,917
Thank you, Captain, and, uh,
let's get some fresh nuts, huh?

364
00:31:24,007 --> 00:31:26,124
Poo nuts.
You know what I'm talking about.

365
00:31:30,972 --> 00:31:32,679
And here's my nuts.

366
00:31:37,270 --> 00:31:39,557
I feel like
we've been on the go for days

367
00:31:39,648 --> 00:31:42,732
and we haven't had any time
to just sit and catch up.

368
00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:45,602
Well, I'm really glad
that we're getting to catch up,

369
00:31:45,737 --> 00:31:47,820
but we're not really on the go,
we're on the run.

370
00:31:48,115 --> 00:31:50,323
Your brother's after us,
and I wouldn't be surprised

371
00:31:50,409 --> 00:31:52,196
if he kills me,
but I think you will be fine.

372
00:31:52,285 --> 00:31:54,868
You know, you can be
really depressing sometimes.

373
00:31:54,955 --> 00:31:56,140
I don't find myself depressing.

374
00:31:56,164 --> 00:31:58,764
- Here's to not being depressing.
- I don't think I am depressing.

375
00:32:04,047 --> 00:32:05,458
Here comes Mr Beverly.

376
00:32:06,633 --> 00:32:08,215
He makes you nervous, doesn't he?

377
00:32:09,261 --> 00:32:11,697
And he's with his bearded friend,
and they're coming this way.

378
00:32:11,721 --> 00:32:13,132
What a lovely evening, isn't it?

379
00:32:14,057 --> 00:32:15,057
Yes, it is.

380
00:32:15,892 --> 00:32:17,428
Oh, uh, Colin.

381
00:32:18,019 --> 00:32:21,103
- Rodney.
- Rodney, this is Lulu.

382
00:32:33,577 --> 00:32:35,577
Mr Rodney,
I believe your booth is ready.

383
00:32:35,704 --> 00:32:37,464
- Can you come with me, please?
- Absolutely.

384
00:32:47,716 --> 00:32:50,459
He's not very chatty, is he, Mr Beverly?

385
00:33:04,649 --> 00:33:07,562
You know, I feel like
I don't know anything about you, Colin.

386
00:33:07,652 --> 00:33:08,838
Why don't you tell me something?

387
00:33:08,862 --> 00:33:10,774
Why don't you tell me
the story of Colin?

388
00:33:11,323 --> 00:33:14,031
You better settle in because
it's a long and interesting tale.

389
00:33:16,453 --> 00:33:17,453
Okay.

390
00:33:18,663 --> 00:33:22,657
So, my father's name was Keith,
and his father was also called Keith,

391
00:33:23,210 --> 00:33:26,169
uh, so that's two generations
of Keiths in my family,

392
00:33:26,254 --> 00:33:27,995
so it's a bit of a tradition.

393
00:33:28,465 --> 00:33:31,674
And my father had an Uncle Colin,
who he loved very much,

394
00:33:32,677 --> 00:33:33,838
and he loved the name Colin,

395
00:33:34,387 --> 00:33:36,925
and he wanted
to be called Colin himself.

396
00:33:37,015 --> 00:33:39,678
In fact, sometimes he would
introduce himself to people

397
00:33:39,851 --> 00:33:41,763
calling himself Colin as a joke.

398
00:33:42,646 --> 00:33:45,354
Anyway, he looked up the name Colin,

399
00:33:45,732 --> 00:33:49,100
and it meant "small young dog".

400
00:33:49,528 --> 00:33:51,064
And so, when I was born,

401
00:33:51,905 --> 00:33:54,147
he thought,
"He looks like a small young dog."

402
00:33:54,324 --> 00:33:57,362
And he named me Colin
because I was born with teeth.

403
00:34:01,748 --> 00:34:02,748
What?

404
00:34:05,377 --> 00:34:06,377
That's it?

405
00:34:12,509 --> 00:34:15,752
That is by far the most
uninteresting story I have ever heard.

406
00:34:16,429 --> 00:34:17,789
Well, I'm sorry you feel that way.

407
00:34:29,442 --> 00:34:30,842
We should go sit with them.
Come on.

408
00:34:32,404 --> 00:34:33,520
Let's go.

409
00:34:46,209 --> 00:34:47,575
Oh, do you mind if we join you?

410
00:34:50,505 --> 00:34:52,497
We haven't properly met yet, Mr Beverly.

411
00:34:52,632 --> 00:34:55,545
It's Mr Luff Linn, and it's two words.

412
00:35:01,308 --> 00:35:02,719
Luff Linn.

413
00:35:03,393 --> 00:35:05,680
Beverly, this is Colin and this is Lulu.

414
00:35:10,191 --> 00:35:11,727
Beverly and I are partners.

415
00:35:12,319 --> 00:35:15,483
Ah. You are... You're partners. Ah.

416
00:35:15,697 --> 00:35:17,359
It's a platonic union.

417
00:35:18,867 --> 00:35:20,074
That sounds nice.

418
00:35:22,495 --> 00:35:23,531
Is it nice?

419
00:35:23,830 --> 00:35:26,197
Yes. I mean, it's difficult to describe,

420
00:35:26,291 --> 00:35:28,371
but let's just say that
we love each other very much.

421
00:35:29,794 --> 00:35:31,126
Colin and I are married.

422
00:35:34,799 --> 00:35:36,360
How long
have you been married for?

423
00:35:36,384 --> 00:35:37,670
Two months.

424
00:35:39,179 --> 00:35:40,340
Funny, isn't it?

425
00:35:41,097 --> 00:35:46,058
You come into a shithole town
in the middle of nowhere, like this,

426
00:35:46,978 --> 00:35:48,935
and suddenly
everything is very difficult.

427
00:35:50,482 --> 00:35:54,021
I have to buy Beverly this tea
that he loves, the Earl Grey.

428
00:35:54,486 --> 00:35:55,806
I'm sure you haven't heard of it.

429
00:35:56,488 --> 00:35:58,855
So, I went
into the local village this morning,

430
00:35:58,948 --> 00:36:00,735
and I gotta say, it was a real struggle,

431
00:36:02,452 --> 00:36:04,114
but eventually I found it,

432
00:36:05,372 --> 00:36:10,117
and, uh, Beverly has the satisfaction
of getting the tea that he loves,

433
00:36:10,210 --> 00:36:15,251
and I have the satisfaction
of being the one who got it for him.

434
00:36:15,340 --> 00:36:17,300
Are you going to put an earring
back in that hole?

435
00:36:19,386 --> 00:36:20,593
Hmm?

436
00:36:24,432 --> 00:36:25,432
Yes.

437
00:36:34,317 --> 00:36:35,317
Do excuse us.

438
00:36:42,534 --> 00:36:44,400
You should put an earring
back in that hole.

439
00:36:44,703 --> 00:36:46,194
You should do what they say.

440
00:36:59,008 --> 00:37:01,500
Let it out and play.

441
00:37:02,887 --> 00:37:04,549
Come on, Bev.

442
00:37:07,100 --> 00:37:11,390
That's it, let it out.

443
00:37:13,732 --> 00:37:16,065
Let that devil out.

444
00:37:19,195 --> 00:37:24,190
There she blows, there she blows.

445
00:38:01,780 --> 00:38:03,191
You look tired, Shane.

446
00:38:03,448 --> 00:38:04,859
I hit the bottle last night.

447
00:38:05,325 --> 00:38:07,738
Me too. Brenda finally kicked me out.

448
00:38:08,745 --> 00:38:10,281
Isn't Brenda your cousin?

449
00:38:10,580 --> 00:38:14,119
Yeah, I don't think she's attracted
to me any more 'cause I got fat.

450
00:38:14,626 --> 00:38:16,492
Oh, I thought you were always fat.

451
00:38:16,669 --> 00:38:18,035
No, I used to be skinny.

452
00:38:18,129 --> 00:38:20,587
I think it's great
that you're dating your cousin, Tyrone.

453
00:38:21,549 --> 00:38:22,585
Thank you, Shane.

454
00:38:27,305 --> 00:38:28,591
What the fuck is that, Carl?

455
00:38:29,724 --> 00:38:32,717
It's a poster. Some bearded guy
dropped it off last night.

456
00:38:33,269 --> 00:38:34,269
Bearded guy?

457
00:38:34,354 --> 00:38:37,347
Yeah, he looked like Michael McDonald
from the Doobie Brothers.

458
00:38:38,483 --> 00:38:39,894
Who are the Doobie Brothers?

459
00:38:41,486 --> 00:38:43,478
"Beverly Luff Linn."

460
00:38:46,616 --> 00:38:49,056
It's the same black guy
from the poster at the store,

461
00:38:50,036 --> 00:38:52,494
and that's Lulu with him
in every single photograph.

462
00:38:53,206 --> 00:38:54,947
Yes, Tyrone.

463
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:59,038
It looks like they are having
a pretty great time together, Shane.

464
00:38:59,796 --> 00:39:00,832
Oh, Tyrone.

465
00:39:02,006 --> 00:39:05,374
Listen to me. This man is in town.

466
00:39:06,511 --> 00:39:09,299
He is having an event
at the Moorhouse Hotel.

467
00:39:10,348 --> 00:39:15,184
I don't know what this event is,
but Lulu has gone missing.

468
00:39:17,313 --> 00:39:19,396
Tyrone...

469
00:39:21,901 --> 00:39:26,521
We need to go to the hotel.
Immediately. To see if she is there.

470
00:39:26,948 --> 00:39:28,109
Yes, we do, Shane.

471
00:39:28,283 --> 00:39:30,741
We need to go to the hotel immediately
to see if she is there.

472
00:39:31,035 --> 00:39:33,152
Immediately.

473
00:39:33,288 --> 00:39:34,654
- Immediately.
- Immediately.

474
00:39:35,164 --> 00:39:36,164
Immediately.

475
00:39:36,457 --> 00:39:37,493
Immediately.

476
00:39:38,251 --> 00:39:40,208
Immediately.

477
00:39:40,461 --> 00:39:45,581
- Immediately.
- Immediately.

478
00:39:47,051 --> 00:39:48,087
Immediately.

479
00:39:50,722 --> 00:39:53,806
Good evening. My name is Lawrence.
Welcome to the Moorhouse Hotel.

480
00:39:54,934 --> 00:39:57,017
That man there, is he here in the hotel?

481
00:39:57,103 --> 00:39:59,641
I need to see him.
I must speak with him. It's urgent.

482
00:39:59,772 --> 00:40:02,252
Sir, you are more than welcome to wait
in our Captain's Lounge.

483
00:40:03,776 --> 00:40:05,017
Is the Captain in his lounge?

484
00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:09,030
No, the Captain is not
in his fucking lounge!

485
00:40:34,641 --> 00:40:36,678
Mmm.

486
00:40:42,774 --> 00:40:44,140
I love cold beer!

487
00:40:44,233 --> 00:40:45,519
I get you cold beer!

488
00:40:45,777 --> 00:40:47,143
I love cold beer!

489
00:40:47,403 --> 00:40:49,110
I get you cold beer!

490
00:40:49,322 --> 00:40:51,689
Oh, I love cold beer!

491
00:41:05,838 --> 00:41:08,626
I know, I know. We'll sort it out.

492
00:41:18,893 --> 00:41:20,225
You're late, Tyrone.

493
00:41:20,311 --> 00:41:22,394
What happened? I was worried stiff.

494
00:41:22,772 --> 00:41:23,772
He's there, Shane.

495
00:41:23,815 --> 00:41:25,898
They got a life-sized poster
of him in the lobby.

496
00:41:26,025 --> 00:41:28,385
He's being pushed around in a wheelchair
by the bearded man.

497
00:41:28,653 --> 00:41:32,488
Hello, Shane. You look fat today.

498
00:41:32,824 --> 00:41:36,443
Like I said, I am coming back every day,
and here I am.

499
00:41:37,161 --> 00:41:38,823
Where is my fucking money?

500
00:41:39,163 --> 00:41:42,702
I don't have your money, Adjay,
but do you know this man?

501
00:41:49,674 --> 00:41:51,336
Where the fuck did this come from?

502
00:41:51,592 --> 00:41:53,549
This guy who looked
like Michael McDonald

503
00:41:53,594 --> 00:41:55,194
from the Doobie Brothers dropped it off.

504
00:41:55,263 --> 00:41:56,754
There's a big event happening.

505
00:41:56,848 --> 00:42:00,467
Adjay, I found a box of pictures
of Lulu with this man.

506
00:42:00,685 --> 00:42:02,847
It was hidden in her underwear drawer.

507
00:42:03,146 --> 00:42:04,432
That man is dead.

508
00:42:04,731 --> 00:42:09,066
That man ain't dead. That man is in
a wheelchair at the Moorhouse Hotel.

509
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:10,692
That man is dead.

510
00:42:11,237 --> 00:42:13,103
That man fucking drowned.

511
00:42:13,948 --> 00:42:17,237
And I want my fucking money,
Shane!

512
00:42:17,702 --> 00:42:19,409
That man ain't dead.

513
00:42:31,841 --> 00:42:32,841
Hello?

514
00:42:42,852 --> 00:42:44,684
Excuse me.

515
00:42:45,063 --> 00:42:46,063
I don't understand.

516
00:42:47,356 --> 00:42:49,156
Wait, there's Rodney.
Ask him what's going on.

517
00:42:49,525 --> 00:42:50,641
I'm going in.

518
00:42:52,612 --> 00:42:54,353
Excuse me, excuse me, Mr Rodney.

519
00:42:54,781 --> 00:42:56,818
Uh... Is everything okay
with Mr Beverly?

520
00:42:57,450 --> 00:42:59,407
Mr Luff Linn just needs
some peace and quiet.

521
00:42:59,494 --> 00:43:00,774
He doesn't need to be disturbed.

522
00:43:01,370 --> 00:43:02,486
Is he dead?

523
00:43:02,789 --> 00:43:05,532
I've no idea. I'm not a doctor.

524
00:43:09,087 --> 00:43:11,315
I just don't understand
why you're so stressed out

525
00:43:11,339 --> 00:43:13,001
about this Mr Beverly event.

526
00:43:14,092 --> 00:43:18,336
I realise you don't understand,
but the thing is, I do understand.

527
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:20,680
Okay then. You know what?

528
00:43:20,765 --> 00:43:23,257
I'm going out,
and I'm gonna feast on snacks.

529
00:43:24,018 --> 00:43:28,388
Good! I hope you feast on snacks and
you get so fat that your pants split!

530
00:43:28,981 --> 00:43:31,689
Oh, you would love it
if my pants split!

531
00:43:31,818 --> 00:43:33,275
I would!

532
00:43:39,659 --> 00:43:40,991
I see you're writing again.

533
00:43:41,994 --> 00:43:44,111
Come on, I'll run you a bath.

534
00:43:48,251 --> 00:43:50,618
I saw
that dreadful couple downstairs.

535
00:43:51,129 --> 00:43:53,917
They seem pretty pissed off that
the show has been postponed.

536
00:44:03,224 --> 00:44:04,260
Well, well, well.

537
00:44:07,937 --> 00:44:11,601
Um, I think I'm going to have
a bit of a siesta now.

538
00:44:12,191 --> 00:44:13,557
Hmmm!

539
00:44:16,070 --> 00:44:18,437
You really should start writing again.

540
00:44:19,657 --> 00:44:22,821
You write beautifully.
You have a real way with words.

541
00:44:24,036 --> 00:44:25,243
Hmmm!

542
00:44:57,737 --> 00:45:00,730
Hmmm!

543
00:45:05,244 --> 00:45:06,701
Hmmm!

544
00:45:07,079 --> 00:45:08,786
Yes, I will make sure that she gets it.

545
00:45:15,504 --> 00:45:16,915
I just saw Mr Beverly.

546
00:45:17,006 --> 00:45:19,840
And he looked fine,
exceptionally healthy in fact.

547
00:45:20,343 --> 00:45:22,801
And I saw magical event posters
all over town.

548
00:45:24,138 --> 00:45:25,258
What are you thinking about?

549
00:45:25,348 --> 00:45:27,148
Because I'll tell you
what I'm thinking about.

550
00:45:27,308 --> 00:45:30,346
I'm thinking about how I met
your fat brother in the laundromat,

551
00:45:30,436 --> 00:45:33,270
and I was promised to be paid $200,

552
00:45:33,356 --> 00:45:35,222
of which I have received nothing!

553
00:45:35,566 --> 00:45:38,354
I'm a professional!
I make things happen!

554
00:45:38,569 --> 00:45:39,605
And now what do I do?

555
00:45:39,820 --> 00:45:43,780
I'm just protecting you so that you can
see Mr Beverly and his magic event.

556
00:45:44,033 --> 00:45:48,698
And I haven't even mentioned his fat,
bearded, chipmunk-faced piggy partner,

557
00:45:48,871 --> 00:45:53,115
who needs a punch right in his
tightly-packed, poo-filled anus hole.

558
00:45:55,378 --> 00:45:57,290
I'll pay you the $200, okay?

559
00:45:57,880 --> 00:46:02,045
No, no, no, it's not about that.
It's not about the money. Oh, no!

560
00:46:02,385 --> 00:46:03,592
It's not about the money!

561
00:46:04,887 --> 00:46:08,130
Now Colin has opened his big hairy trap,
and Lulu hates him!

562
00:46:14,981 --> 00:46:15,981
Colin.

563
00:46:22,905 --> 00:46:24,112
I have an idea.

564
00:46:24,907 --> 00:46:28,275
How about the two of us go out for
an old-fashioned night on the town?

565
00:46:28,953 --> 00:46:29,953
What do you say?

566
00:46:32,957 --> 00:46:34,038
I'd really like that.

567
00:46:38,254 --> 00:46:39,790
Let's paint the town, Colin.

568
00:46:45,219 --> 00:46:48,132
Oh, I need to go to the toilet.

569
00:46:50,850 --> 00:46:51,850
Okay.

570
00:47:03,279 --> 00:47:04,815
Oh, my God, why are you here?

571
00:47:04,989 --> 00:47:07,197
I found this box
in your underwear drawer,

572
00:47:07,283 --> 00:47:10,492
with all these pictures
of you and the Luff Linn poster man.

573
00:47:11,078 --> 00:47:12,319
Is this why you're here?

574
00:47:16,042 --> 00:47:17,042
Let go of me!

575
00:47:17,293 --> 00:47:20,377
Is he still alive?
Because I heard he was dead!

576
00:47:21,339 --> 00:47:23,422
Get off of me.

577
00:47:24,383 --> 00:47:29,970
Security, this man is accosting me!
Security! Security!

578
00:47:30,890 --> 00:47:34,224
Ow! My fucking ear, you fat fuck!

579
00:47:45,029 --> 00:47:49,069
Who the fuck
is Beverly Luff Linn?

580
00:47:54,205 --> 00:47:56,322
Oh, shit! What happened, Shane?

581
00:47:57,500 --> 00:47:58,832
Got kicked in the stomach.

582
00:48:01,879 --> 00:48:03,541
I gotta go get my mom from the clinic.

583
00:48:04,715 --> 00:48:05,922
That's fine, just drive.

584
00:48:08,844 --> 00:48:10,005
Did you get kicked hard?

585
00:48:12,473 --> 00:48:14,089
I should've blown out his kneecaps.

586
00:48:16,102 --> 00:48:17,388
I'm very protective.

587
00:48:23,359 --> 00:48:25,066
You put your earring back in,
didn't you?

588
00:48:25,486 --> 00:48:27,944
Oh, yes. Yeah, I did.

589
00:48:30,032 --> 00:48:31,944
The mystery of Colin is deepening.

590
00:48:34,328 --> 00:48:36,365
Go deeper, if you dare.

591
00:48:40,918 --> 00:48:43,376
May I indulge you in a childhood story?

592
00:48:44,755 --> 00:48:45,962
Give it to me, Colin.

593
00:48:49,218 --> 00:48:52,677
My Grandmother Eileen
used to have these hard candies

594
00:48:52,763 --> 00:48:56,177
that were dusted in icing sugar.
They were a real treat to be had.

595
00:48:56,851 --> 00:48:59,093
Now I'm getting to the major part
of the story.

596
00:48:59,728 --> 00:49:02,471
When I was a little boy,
I didn't like to, uh...

597
00:49:03,858 --> 00:49:05,850
Do poo-poos inside,

598
00:49:06,026 --> 00:49:08,769
so I would march
into the wood for hours,

599
00:49:08,904 --> 00:49:13,069
just waiting until I had to go,
you know...

600
00:49:13,909 --> 00:49:15,762
And I would just do it
right there in the woods,

601
00:49:15,786 --> 00:49:17,527
or I would do it on a rock,

602
00:49:17,663 --> 00:49:20,451
or I would, um, dig a little hole
and cover it with leaves,

603
00:49:20,583 --> 00:49:23,997
but it's not the way that
we want little boys to go potty, is it?

604
00:49:26,380 --> 00:49:27,380
No, it is not.

605
00:49:28,048 --> 00:49:32,213
So, my grandmother, very cleverly,
decided to give me these candies,

606
00:49:32,303 --> 00:49:34,215
which I was crazy about, whenever...

607
00:49:36,682 --> 00:49:38,799
Doo-doos would come out indoors.

608
00:49:40,895 --> 00:49:43,262
So, whenever I went poopy inside,

609
00:49:43,355 --> 00:49:45,438
I would run down the hallway, yelling,

610
00:49:45,941 --> 00:49:48,775
"Grammy, Grammy, come and look in
the bowl! Come and look in the bowl!"

611
00:49:49,111 --> 00:49:51,068
And then we would
all gather around the bowl

612
00:49:51,155 --> 00:49:54,193
and just look inside
and count the doo-doos, and guess what?

613
00:49:57,620 --> 00:49:58,620
What?

614
00:49:59,205 --> 00:50:01,037
She would give me a piece of candy

615
00:50:01,248 --> 00:50:05,083
for every piece of poo-poo
that I would produce.

616
00:50:05,586 --> 00:50:08,875
One time,
I got 14 pieces of candy.

617
00:50:12,801 --> 00:50:14,542
Grammy passed away some time ago.

618
00:50:14,845 --> 00:50:16,805
She was hit in the back of her head
with a hammer.

619
00:50:17,556 --> 00:50:22,426
Okay, enough stories. It's time.
I'm gonna lay it on the line.

620
00:50:26,273 --> 00:50:29,516
Lulu, I may be
a great deal younger than you,

621
00:50:30,444 --> 00:50:32,026
but I think you are the most beautiful,

622
00:50:33,113 --> 00:50:36,322
most interesting woman
that I have ever met.

623
00:50:37,618 --> 00:50:41,077
And, yes, I know
everybody else thinks that too,

624
00:50:42,623 --> 00:50:43,830
but I need to know...

625
00:50:44,667 --> 00:50:47,000
And please be honest with me.
I need to know...

626
00:50:49,338 --> 00:50:55,630
If any part of you is attracted
to any part of me.

627
00:51:10,651 --> 00:51:12,062
This is so unexpected.

628
00:51:12,736 --> 00:51:14,773
That's okay, you don't have to
answer immediately.

629
00:51:14,863 --> 00:51:17,133
Look, I'm just in a very emotional place
right now, you know?

630
00:51:17,157 --> 00:51:19,865
I just left my husband, and I have
this event tomorrow night.

631
00:51:19,952 --> 00:51:22,490
Colin! Colin! Colin! Colin! Colin!

632
00:51:22,955 --> 00:51:26,699
Selfish! Selfish! Selfish! Selfish!

633
00:51:32,089 --> 00:51:33,089
Crabs.

634
00:51:33,716 --> 00:51:34,716
Yummy!

635
00:51:39,346 --> 00:51:41,884
I had tickets to the magical Luff Linn,

636
00:51:43,267 --> 00:51:45,554
but I heard he had been
delayed 24 hours.

637
00:51:49,857 --> 00:51:55,398
What makes the Luff Linn so magical,
Mrs Paris?

638
00:52:41,158 --> 00:52:44,276
Psst. Miss Lulu.

639
00:52:50,459 --> 00:52:51,459
Yes?

640
00:52:51,543 --> 00:52:52,543
I have this for you.

641
00:52:57,841 --> 00:52:58,841
Thank you.

642
00:52:58,926 --> 00:52:59,926
Good evening.

643
00:53:03,806 --> 00:53:04,846
What did Mr Lawrence want?

644
00:53:05,557 --> 00:53:08,265
He was just making sure
you were protecting me.

645
00:53:09,645 --> 00:53:10,645
I am.

646
00:53:18,112 --> 00:53:19,523
I'm gonna go get ready for bed.

647
00:53:57,693 --> 00:53:59,559
Hmmm!

648
00:54:01,613 --> 00:54:02,694
Hmm?

649
00:54:04,825 --> 00:54:06,657
Is this our song?

650
00:54:09,037 --> 00:54:10,824
Lord, this brings back memories.

651
00:54:11,790 --> 00:54:13,747
Endless nights in the Lamb and Lily.

652
00:54:15,586 --> 00:54:16,747
First time I saw you.

653
00:54:17,755 --> 00:54:20,623
And you looked very smart
with your orange hat.

654
00:54:20,758 --> 00:54:21,794
Hmmm!

655
00:54:25,053 --> 00:54:26,965
Right. Tea and bed, Bev.

656
00:54:45,783 --> 00:54:47,319
You look relaxed, Colin.

657
00:54:48,160 --> 00:54:49,822
Yeah, I'm just reading about Palominos.

658
00:54:49,912 --> 00:54:51,744
They're a very sought-after
parade horse.

659
00:54:52,539 --> 00:54:53,950
Very pretty horse, I must say.

660
00:54:58,629 --> 00:54:59,710
Well, I'm wiped.

661
00:55:02,090 --> 00:55:03,090
Good night.

662
00:55:05,302 --> 00:55:07,382
Would you like me to read you
a couple of paragraphs?

663
00:55:10,599 --> 00:55:11,599
No, thanks.

664
00:55:28,367 --> 00:55:29,699
There we go.

665
00:56:17,791 --> 00:56:20,499
You look surprised.
You expecting somebody else?

666
00:56:23,297 --> 00:56:24,297
No.

667
00:56:24,590 --> 00:56:28,459
No? Good. Because there will be
nobody else performing here tonight.

668
00:56:29,344 --> 00:56:30,460
The show's over.

669
00:57:17,684 --> 00:57:19,676
Yes.

670
00:57:21,229 --> 00:57:22,229
Yes.

671
00:57:25,692 --> 00:57:27,399
- No.
- Yes.

672
00:57:27,527 --> 00:57:30,144
No. Oh, God, no.

673
00:57:30,364 --> 00:57:32,204
I'm sorry, I must have gotten
in the wrong bed.

674
00:57:32,282 --> 00:57:33,818
I like you in my bed, it's fine.

675
00:57:33,951 --> 00:57:36,095
- No. No, it's not fine.
- It's fine. I like you in my bed.

676
00:57:36,119 --> 00:57:38,782
No, Colin, it's not fine. I'm sorry.

677
00:57:43,085 --> 00:57:45,452
Actually, Colin, I have my period.

678
00:57:46,421 --> 00:57:49,505
Can you run to the drug store and
get me some heavy flow tampons?

679
00:57:49,591 --> 00:57:51,583
The green box. It's an emergency.

680
00:57:52,970 --> 00:57:54,427
I'm going as fast as I can.

681
00:58:19,496 --> 00:58:21,516
- Good morning, Lawrence.
- Good morning, Miss Lulu.

682
00:58:21,540 --> 00:58:24,157
Can you please see
that this gets to Mr Luff Linn?

683
00:58:25,293 --> 00:58:27,706
It must be delivered to him

684
00:58:27,796 --> 00:58:31,210
when his male bearded partner
is not present. Is that clear?

685
00:58:31,591 --> 00:58:33,151
He will receive the message right away.

686
00:58:34,761 --> 00:58:37,378
- Thank you.
- Ta-ta.

687
00:58:49,901 --> 00:58:52,484
Skinny little pig.

688
00:58:58,035 --> 00:59:00,743
Strong coffee, Bev.
This should wake you up.

689
00:59:01,204 --> 00:59:02,445
Hmmm.

690
00:59:03,290 --> 00:59:05,373
I had to haul a special someone

691
00:59:05,792 --> 00:59:09,786
all the way from the armchair
to the queen-sized bed last night.

692
00:59:10,255 --> 00:59:11,587
Hmmm.

693
00:59:12,132 --> 00:59:14,749
Now, this may look like a lot of food,

694
00:59:15,427 --> 00:59:16,587
but you should eat all of it.

695
00:59:16,970 --> 00:59:18,006
Hmmm.

696
00:59:18,096 --> 00:59:20,463
I'm just concerned about your health.
I'm not badgering.

697
00:59:22,517 --> 00:59:24,679
Good morning to you both.

698
00:59:25,520 --> 00:59:29,935
My name is Kennedy Gordon.
I am the manager of the Moorhouse Hotel.

699
00:59:30,650 --> 00:59:33,688
It is a pleasure
finally having you stay with us.

700
00:59:33,904 --> 00:59:34,904
Hmmm.

701
00:59:35,030 --> 00:59:36,692
I also wanted to check in with you

702
00:59:36,782 --> 00:59:39,365
regarding our evening
with Beverly Luff Linn,

703
00:59:39,743 --> 00:59:43,362
and whether we're all set
for this evening.

704
00:59:43,955 --> 00:59:46,163
Yes, at this precise moment,
I would say we're all set

705
00:59:46,291 --> 00:59:48,704
for this evening's performance.
Isn't that right, Bev?

706
00:59:49,294 --> 00:59:51,081
Hmm.

707
00:59:52,130 --> 00:59:56,841
Oh, and Lawrence asked me to give you
this letter in private, Mr Luff Linn.

708
01:00:01,056 --> 01:00:02,056
What...

709
01:00:10,482 --> 01:00:13,896
Um...
Please enjoy your breakfast!

710
01:00:16,154 --> 01:00:17,270
Should we open it?

711
01:00:30,127 --> 01:00:33,996
So, I get up at 1:00 a.m.
to see you alone, finally,

712
01:00:34,548 --> 01:00:37,416
and you send
your creepy bearded partner. Why?

713
01:00:38,677 --> 01:00:39,963
Anything interesting?

714
01:00:40,971 --> 01:00:42,303
Hmmm.

715
01:00:45,475 --> 01:00:46,886
Right, when you finish that steak,

716
01:00:47,060 --> 01:00:49,518
those eggs, that steak on that plate
with those eggs,

717
01:00:49,938 --> 01:00:52,351
the orange, if you want,
and there's a boiled egg there,

718
01:00:52,566 --> 01:00:54,933
the toast, and I want you to have
the jam with the toast.

719
01:00:55,110 --> 01:00:58,023
We're gonna hit the fitness centre
and loosen your hips for this evening.

720
01:00:58,155 --> 01:01:00,363
Hmmmm!

721
01:01:07,831 --> 01:01:12,872
You're in great shape,
but your pelvis is kinked.

722
01:01:22,053 --> 01:01:25,217
I got them. I had to go
to three different stores to get them.

723
01:01:25,390 --> 01:01:27,660
The first store said
they wouldn't have them in for a month,

724
01:01:27,684 --> 01:01:30,580
and I said, "That's no use. It's a
monthly cycle," and the second store...

725
01:01:34,649 --> 01:01:36,936
Listen to me, you little bitch.
We got your note.

726
01:01:37,235 --> 01:01:38,351
I told you to back off.

727
01:01:38,653 --> 01:01:40,653
You shouldn't speak to a lady
like that, Mr Rodney.

728
01:01:40,739 --> 01:01:43,277
Shut up. This is your final warning.

729
01:01:49,915 --> 01:01:52,828
What? Are you gonna
chew me out now too?

730
01:01:53,335 --> 01:01:54,451
How about you?

731
01:02:17,567 --> 01:02:19,399
Drive!

732
01:02:29,496 --> 01:02:34,207
I just witnessed two male suspicious
figures driving a blue sports coupé.

733
01:02:34,960 --> 01:02:38,294
They were wearing wigs,
and when I noticed them, they sped off.

734
01:02:39,881 --> 01:02:41,372
That'll be Shane and Tyrone.

735
01:02:49,724 --> 01:02:51,636
Colin, do you think
you could give me a massage?

736
01:02:54,271 --> 01:02:56,604
Yes, I can.

737
01:03:15,542 --> 01:03:17,182
You're getting really good
at this, Colin.

738
01:03:18,545 --> 01:03:20,105
Then you won't mind me telling you that

739
01:03:20,171 --> 01:03:22,834
I saw Mr Beverly
in the fitness centre exercising,

740
01:03:22,924 --> 01:03:24,335
and I pulled the finger at him.

741
01:03:25,051 --> 01:03:28,465
What? Colin, why would you do that?

742
01:03:29,264 --> 01:03:31,301
Look, I don't need you
causing any more trouble

743
01:03:31,391 --> 01:03:33,804
than there already is, okay? Please.

744
01:03:35,478 --> 01:03:36,685
I'm going for a walk.

745
01:03:44,863 --> 01:03:48,402
You will always be alone, Colin,
with that big hairy trap of yours!

746
01:03:48,783 --> 01:03:50,399
Why is it so hairy?

747
01:03:55,957 --> 01:03:57,197
Would you like to come with me?

748
01:04:00,795 --> 01:04:01,956
I would like that.

749
01:04:04,049 --> 01:04:05,506
And thank you for the tampons.

750
01:04:06,926 --> 01:04:08,758
It was a pleasure to buy your tampons.

751
01:04:57,644 --> 01:04:58,644
Ooh.

752
01:04:59,729 --> 01:05:01,766
Good afternoon.
Yes, this is Lawrence, Mr Gordon.

753
01:05:01,856 --> 01:05:06,521
I have Mr Rodney here,
Mr Beverly Luff Linn's partner.

754
01:05:07,070 --> 01:05:09,278
Apparently, they would like
to delay the event

755
01:05:09,364 --> 01:05:13,153
for another 24 hours. Yes. Okay.

756
01:05:13,451 --> 01:05:14,451
Thank you very much.

757
01:05:15,578 --> 01:05:19,162
- Well?
- Mr Gordon will be here very shortly.

758
01:05:30,468 --> 01:05:33,961
Good day, Mr Rodney.
Lovely to see you again.

759
01:05:35,723 --> 01:05:40,138
Now, we have a full hotel of guests
anxiously awaiting

760
01:05:40,228 --> 01:05:44,893
an evening with Beverly Luff Linn,
for one magical night only.

761
01:05:45,442 --> 01:05:50,107
And I am happy to accommodate
your request for another 24 hours,

762
01:05:50,572 --> 01:05:51,572
but...

763
01:05:53,908 --> 01:05:58,949
I'm afraid there can be
no further delays after that.

764
01:05:59,372 --> 01:06:02,240
Am I being clear, Mr Rodney?

765
01:06:03,918 --> 01:06:05,705
Yes, you're being clear.

766
01:06:07,046 --> 01:06:09,413
Wonderful! Wonderful!

767
01:06:14,554 --> 01:06:15,670
Wonderful.

768
01:06:22,687 --> 01:06:23,687
It's open!

769
01:06:34,199 --> 01:06:36,532
- It's her.
- Are you sure?

770
01:06:36,826 --> 01:06:38,442
Of course I'm sure.

771
01:06:41,456 --> 01:06:45,370
I have to say, when Beverly Luff Linn
said he had taken up with a man,

772
01:06:45,960 --> 01:06:47,542
you are not what I expected.

773
01:06:48,213 --> 01:06:49,545
What, are you from Scotland?

774
01:06:50,048 --> 01:06:53,086
I met Beverly while I was studying
embroidery in Aberdeen.

775
01:06:53,218 --> 01:06:58,009
I don't give one, or two, or 17 fucks
what you were studying

776
01:06:58,139 --> 01:07:01,348
in Aberdeen or Edinburgh

777
01:07:01,434 --> 01:07:07,396
or the Orkney Islands,
ya fucking bushy bearded cunt!

778
01:07:09,025 --> 01:07:10,669
I only pursued your request

779
01:07:10,693 --> 01:07:14,152
because that skinny little pig
ended our marriage,

780
01:07:14,781 --> 01:07:16,133
and I wanted to see her in the flesh.

781
01:07:16,157 --> 01:07:17,648
It's supposed to offer closure.

782
01:07:18,493 --> 01:07:19,493
I see.

783
01:07:20,161 --> 01:07:21,161
How'd you get my number?

784
01:07:21,829 --> 01:07:22,829
Beverly gave it to me,

785
01:07:23,206 --> 01:07:26,074
during one of our more
marinated sessions in the Lamb and Lily.

786
01:07:26,626 --> 01:07:28,208
He was suffering from acute depression.

787
01:07:28,836 --> 01:07:30,898
He said if ever he was in trouble,
I had to contact you.

788
01:07:30,922 --> 01:07:32,122
Please don't contact me again.

789
01:07:36,636 --> 01:07:38,377
Ever again!

790
01:08:10,378 --> 01:08:11,914
Adjay, I've got good news.

791
01:08:12,422 --> 01:08:16,541
That guy Colin is
at the Moorhouse Hotel with Lulu.

792
01:08:17,302 --> 01:08:18,543
They should have your money.

793
01:08:18,928 --> 01:08:19,928
So?

794
01:08:20,305 --> 01:08:23,969
So, you should go there,
to the Moorhouse Hotel.

795
01:08:25,310 --> 01:08:27,472
There is something
you are not getting, Shane.

796
01:08:27,979 --> 01:08:31,268
It seems I was correct
to bring Edwin. Edwin!

797
01:08:36,863 --> 01:08:39,401
I hear you have a back room.
Can you take me there?

798
01:08:41,492 --> 01:08:42,528
Sure, Edwin.

799
01:09:06,559 --> 01:09:09,017
And I want
my fucking money, Shane!

800
01:09:16,277 --> 01:09:17,734
What happened to your face, Shane?

801
01:09:19,364 --> 01:09:22,198
Edwin happened to my face,
you big fat penis face.

802
01:09:32,043 --> 01:09:33,659
I wonder why they postponed it again.

803
01:09:34,212 --> 01:09:35,828
Can we please stop discussing it?

804
01:09:41,678 --> 01:09:43,294
How are we doing over here?

805
01:09:43,805 --> 01:09:46,343
Oh, uh, I'll have the usual.
Thanks, Captain.

806
01:09:47,350 --> 01:09:48,350
And for you, ma'am?

807
01:09:48,935 --> 01:09:50,221
No, thank you.

808
01:09:51,771 --> 01:09:54,730
I'm not feeling so well,
so I'm going to go to my room.

809
01:09:56,109 --> 01:10:01,104
Maybe you're thirsty, or hungry,
dehydrated or low blood sugar.

810
01:10:01,864 --> 01:10:05,983
My God, Colin, I just left my husband.
Do you even remember that?

811
01:10:07,078 --> 01:10:10,037
I've been holed up in this hotel
for days because I'm desperate to see

812
01:10:10,123 --> 01:10:12,911
An Evening with Beverly Luff Linn,
for one magical night only,

813
01:10:13,042 --> 01:10:14,802
and I don't know
if that's ever gonna happen.

814
01:10:15,211 --> 01:10:18,124
And for some insane reason,
I'm being called a little bitch

815
01:10:18,256 --> 01:10:21,795
by Beverly's fat, disgusting,
creepy partner,

816
01:10:21,884 --> 01:10:23,125
with his little chipmunk body

817
01:10:23,219 --> 01:10:25,836
shoved into his pants,
with his little fat legs.

818
01:10:30,101 --> 01:10:32,718
So, no, I'm not feeling
very thirsty or hungry, okay?

819
01:10:35,523 --> 01:10:36,604
Okay.

820
01:10:42,196 --> 01:10:43,596
She's having her period.

821
01:10:43,740 --> 01:10:44,776
Oh, dear.

822
01:10:45,491 --> 01:10:48,655
I had to go to three stores
to get green tampons.

823
01:10:51,330 --> 01:10:52,821
Rum and a Ramble for you, sir.

824
01:10:59,213 --> 01:11:00,920
You have beautiful hands.

825
01:11:02,175 --> 01:11:04,167
These two stupid, fat hands?

826
01:11:07,138 --> 01:11:08,299
I'm Paulette.

827
01:11:11,601 --> 01:11:14,435
Nice to meet you, Paulette. I'm Colin.

828
01:11:58,231 --> 01:12:00,393
So, it's a bit of a tradition
in my family

829
01:12:00,483 --> 01:12:02,395
for the men to be named Keith,

830
01:12:03,110 --> 01:12:05,227
but my father just loved the name Colin,

831
01:12:05,863 --> 01:12:10,073
and so it came to pass
that he named me, his only son...

832
01:12:10,993 --> 01:12:12,154
Colin.

833
01:12:12,453 --> 01:12:14,945
Colin Keith Threadener,

834
01:12:15,122 --> 01:12:16,454
so the Keith is still in there.

835
01:12:18,584 --> 01:12:22,168
Yeah, he was
a bit of a rebel, my father.

836
01:12:25,299 --> 01:12:29,259
You could fill me
with your stories all night long.

837
01:12:30,054 --> 01:12:31,054
Mmm.

838
01:12:32,723 --> 01:12:35,306
Well, it's really nice to hear that
at a time like this.

839
01:12:41,440 --> 01:12:42,476
Colin.

840
01:12:43,442 --> 01:12:44,478
Paulette.

841
01:12:45,111 --> 01:12:46,852
Is there some place we can be alone?

842
01:13:01,377 --> 01:13:02,834
That was beautiful.

843
01:13:06,132 --> 01:13:07,464
I like you, Paulette.

844
01:13:08,843 --> 01:13:12,837
Eh, that's good, sweetie,
that's good.

845
01:13:14,724 --> 01:13:18,718
Now... Uh-huh.

846
01:13:18,853 --> 01:13:20,060
Really good, really good.

847
01:13:20,229 --> 01:13:22,642
Now, that's gonna cost you 50 bucks.

848
01:13:25,109 --> 01:13:26,896
She usually charges $80,

849
01:13:29,196 --> 01:13:31,859
but she said I could pay $50,

850
01:13:33,284 --> 01:13:35,526
and we ended up
settling with me only paying $37.

851
01:13:35,620 --> 01:13:37,361
- So, you had sex with a prostitute?
- Yes.

852
01:13:37,872 --> 01:13:39,204
We went all the way.

853
01:13:40,458 --> 01:13:42,040
All the way up there, as they say.

854
01:13:42,126 --> 01:13:44,288
Ugh. Well, good for you, Colin.

855
01:13:45,212 --> 01:13:46,544
Good night

856
01:13:53,095 --> 01:13:56,964
I was a virgin, and now I'm not.

857
01:13:59,101 --> 01:14:02,845
I understand that.
I'm letting them know right now.

858
01:14:03,606 --> 01:14:05,973
Valerie! You have to load the equipment

859
01:14:06,067 --> 01:14:08,309
through the service entrance,
not the main entrance!

860
01:14:08,736 --> 01:14:11,570
I don't know
where the fucking service entrance is!

861
01:14:11,656 --> 01:14:13,488
I need you to follow the signs, Valerie!

862
01:14:13,574 --> 01:14:16,294
I can't hold your hand through this,
as much as you might like me to!

863
01:14:27,129 --> 01:14:29,337
Let's get this baby seal out of bed.

864
01:14:30,925 --> 01:14:33,338
Here's your tea.

865
01:14:34,595 --> 01:14:37,929
- Big night tonight. Showtime.
- Hmmm.

866
01:14:38,641 --> 01:14:40,928
Okay, your vaporiser is on,

867
01:14:41,602 --> 01:14:44,140
the sandalwood is infused
with lime and tangerine,

868
01:14:44,397 --> 01:14:46,104
the bath salts are by the tub,

869
01:14:46,565 --> 01:14:48,272
the flexing mat is under the window,

870
01:14:48,526 --> 01:14:50,688
and your breakfast is under the cloche.

871
01:14:53,990 --> 01:14:55,276
Are we magical?

872
01:14:56,325 --> 01:14:57,816
Hmm.

873
01:15:04,208 --> 01:15:06,575
Are you upset that I had sex
with a prostitute last night?

874
01:15:06,836 --> 01:15:10,420
No. Are you going to get out of bed?
Today is the event.

875
01:15:11,340 --> 01:15:13,832
Help! I've slipped
and I've fallen into the pond!

876
01:15:14,176 --> 01:15:16,384
Can anybody hear me?
I'm trapped under the ice!

877
01:15:16,637 --> 01:15:18,629
Who is Beverly Luff Linn?

878
01:15:18,848 --> 01:15:22,137
Help! I'm trapped!
Who is Beverly Luff Linn?

879
01:15:22,435 --> 01:15:25,553
Who is Beverly Luff Linn? Who is...

880
01:15:25,646 --> 01:15:26,887
He was a poet.

881
01:15:30,484 --> 01:15:31,565
Okay?

882
01:15:32,403 --> 01:15:33,735
He was my professor.

883
01:15:35,573 --> 01:15:36,689
We were a couple,

884
01:15:39,201 --> 01:15:41,113
and we were passionately in love.

885
01:15:47,710 --> 01:15:50,578
One spring, he took me
to the exotic island of Prami.

886
01:15:52,131 --> 01:15:57,752
There was a bird sanctuary there,
and we had the best time.

887
01:15:58,220 --> 01:16:03,841
All we would do is hold hands
and sing to the birds.

888
01:16:04,685 --> 01:16:08,178
These funny little birds
with flat heads...

889
01:16:10,483 --> 01:16:11,849
Do you know those kinds of birds?

890
01:16:13,110 --> 01:16:16,274
- No.
- They're beautiful.

891
01:16:18,741 --> 01:16:20,152
It was heaven.

892
01:16:25,331 --> 01:16:27,914
But on the last day, he said,

893
01:16:28,584 --> 01:16:31,076
"Lulu, I'm going to take you
to a secret cove."

894
01:16:32,630 --> 01:16:33,666
We went there,

895
01:16:35,466 --> 01:16:40,052
and he swam ahead of me,
out to this point,

896
01:16:40,930 --> 01:16:42,637
and I remember he looked back,

897
01:16:44,350 --> 01:16:48,765
waved at me, and then plunged
deep beneath the surface.

898
01:16:50,189 --> 01:16:54,433
And I tried to catch up to him.
I swam so fast,

899
01:16:56,570 --> 01:16:57,686
but he never came up,

900
01:16:57,988 --> 01:17:02,198
and I couldn't find him.

901
01:17:05,287 --> 01:17:08,655
So I went back to the hotel,
and our friend Cornelius was there.

902
01:17:09,542 --> 01:17:12,159
I remember crying in Cornelius' arms

903
01:17:13,170 --> 01:17:15,127
when they told me that he was dead.

904
01:17:16,006 --> 01:17:17,006
Drowned...

905
01:17:21,011 --> 01:17:22,627
Probably eaten by sharks.

906
01:17:25,933 --> 01:17:27,640
Why didn't you tell me
all this before?

907
01:17:30,479 --> 01:17:32,186
Because I've never told anyone before,

908
01:17:34,775 --> 01:17:35,936
except for Adjay,

909
01:17:37,987 --> 01:17:39,774
but he's not interested
unless it's vegan.

910
01:17:47,163 --> 01:17:51,123
I've never been in love.
At least, not until I met you.

911
01:17:54,253 --> 01:17:56,745
But not the kind that you're
talking about, where it's mutual.

912
01:18:01,719 --> 01:18:03,005
Are you still in love with him?

913
01:18:04,972 --> 01:18:06,634
Are you going to get out of bed, Colin?

914
01:18:07,016 --> 01:18:08,696
Are you going to answer
the question, Lulu?

915
01:18:08,767 --> 01:18:10,929
No, because I'm brushing my hair.

916
01:18:17,067 --> 01:18:18,603
Uh, Mr Rodney Luff Linn?

917
01:18:18,944 --> 01:18:23,154
It's actually Rodney Von Donkensteiger,
but Luff Linn will do.

918
01:18:23,866 --> 01:18:25,903
Uh, Mitch Stemp, events coordinator.

919
01:18:26,410 --> 01:18:27,571
Nice to meet you, Mitch.

920
01:18:27,703 --> 01:18:30,616
I just want to let you know that
everything is moving along smoothly,

921
01:18:30,873 --> 01:18:34,787
and I would like to lock the set
by 2:00 p.m. today,

922
01:18:34,919 --> 01:18:37,081
if that's okay. If that works for you
and Mr Luff Linn.

923
01:18:37,880 --> 01:18:38,996
Yeah, that's fine.

924
01:18:39,924 --> 01:18:42,416
Uh, I just want to confirm

925
01:18:42,676 --> 01:18:46,420
that, uh, Mr Luff Linn will enter
from stage left along this line,

926
01:18:46,847 --> 01:18:50,090
and then he will end up in his chair
to the right of your good self.

927
01:18:50,392 --> 01:18:52,224
Then he'll sort of, like, go...

928
01:18:52,394 --> 01:18:54,314
No, I get it, you don't have to
explain it. Okay.

929
01:18:56,649 --> 01:18:57,730
Great.

930
01:18:58,400 --> 01:18:59,400
Great.

931
01:19:03,656 --> 01:19:06,694
Oh. Am I looking forward to the event.

932
01:19:10,496 --> 01:19:14,831
It will be magical.

933
01:19:23,509 --> 01:19:24,869
Beverly, I want you to look at me.

934
01:19:30,766 --> 01:19:33,133
You and I both know
why you chose to hold this event

935
01:19:33,227 --> 01:19:35,435
in this shitbox dickhole hotel.

936
01:19:38,065 --> 01:19:39,727
I know you know what I'm talking about,

937
01:19:41,110 --> 01:19:43,602
but I need to tell you
that I love you deeply.

938
01:19:44,863 --> 01:19:46,479
You're the man of my dreams,

939
01:19:47,491 --> 01:19:49,107
and we can survive whatever this is.

940
01:19:50,869 --> 01:19:55,489
For tonight, the event will be magical.

941
01:19:56,542 --> 01:20:02,755
A magical, magical night with
my magical, magical Beverly.

942
01:20:06,176 --> 01:20:09,385
And now, I'm going to make you some tea,

943
01:20:10,889 --> 01:20:15,884
and it will be magical.

944
01:20:19,565 --> 01:20:21,602
Hmmm.

945
01:20:25,195 --> 01:20:26,606
Is that really what you're wearing?

946
01:20:28,782 --> 01:20:30,022
You chose these clothes for me.

947
01:20:30,075 --> 01:20:31,515
Well, I think you should wear a tie.

948
01:20:32,286 --> 01:20:34,653
You said I looked good.
I don't have a tie.

949
01:20:38,083 --> 01:20:39,699
Can't you just find a tie somewhere?

950
01:20:40,169 --> 01:20:41,705
I think you should calm down.

951
01:20:41,795 --> 01:20:43,815
Well, I really think we should
just get down there, okay?

952
01:20:43,839 --> 01:20:45,275
The event doesn't start for an hour.

953
01:20:45,299 --> 01:20:47,319
Why does everyone always have to get
so stressed out all the time?

954
01:20:47,343 --> 01:20:48,653
Because I want to get good seats!

955
01:20:48,677 --> 01:20:50,155
Yeah, I know you want to get good seats,

956
01:20:50,179 --> 01:20:53,923
because you want to see Mr Beverly
and his partner with his magical beard

957
01:20:54,058 --> 01:20:56,300
do whatever they do
in their magical event.

958
01:20:56,643 --> 01:20:58,225
Yes, I do want to see that.

959
01:20:58,562 --> 01:21:00,895
What's so magical
about this magical event anyway?

960
01:21:01,273 --> 01:21:05,768
I don't know, but whatever it is,
it will probably change your life.

961
01:21:07,321 --> 01:21:09,938
He is by far the most brilliant man
I have ever met.

962
01:21:10,616 --> 01:21:13,011
Well, that sounds like I've won
the golden ticket, doesn't it?

963
01:21:13,035 --> 01:21:17,245
To the most spectacular evening
of whatever the fuck this is,

964
01:21:17,373 --> 01:21:21,367
provided to you by the man
who shat all over you in the ocean.

965
01:21:23,212 --> 01:21:25,523
Sorry, that's the first time
I've said the words "fuck" and "shat"

966
01:21:25,547 --> 01:21:27,267
in a long time,
and they are horrible words.

967
01:21:27,341 --> 01:21:28,341
Well, good for you.

968
01:21:30,219 --> 01:21:33,007
I'm going downstairs,
and I'm going to get us front-row seats!

969
01:21:52,574 --> 01:21:54,190
Happy birthday, Lulu.

970
01:21:56,662 --> 01:21:59,575
- What time is it?
- 6:50.

971
01:22:00,624 --> 01:22:03,708
Okay. Do we all know what we're doing?

972
01:22:04,586 --> 01:22:06,578
- Yes.
- Okay.

973
01:22:07,339 --> 01:22:08,830
Then let's fucking do it!

974
01:22:09,007 --> 01:22:10,464
Let's fucking do it!

975
01:22:10,926 --> 01:22:12,133
Good luck, everyone.

976
01:22:24,148 --> 01:22:26,140
Good evening.
Please sit wherever you like.

977
01:22:26,650 --> 01:22:28,061
Ah, good evening, Miss Lulu.

978
01:22:28,861 --> 01:22:30,648
I truly hope you enjoy tonight's show.

979
01:22:30,821 --> 01:22:31,821
Thank you.

980
01:23:05,606 --> 01:23:07,893
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

981
01:23:08,609 --> 01:23:09,725
Good evening.

982
01:23:10,235 --> 01:23:14,024
My name's Kennedy Gordon.
I am the manager of the Moorhouse Hotel.

983
01:23:18,952 --> 01:23:22,821
Well, after some delays,
I am beyond thrilled

984
01:23:22,915 --> 01:23:25,953
to be standing here
introducing this evening's event.

985
01:23:27,794 --> 01:23:31,879
For many of us, this will be
a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

986
01:23:32,341 --> 01:23:37,757
So, please, let's just meditate
on every moment.

987
01:23:40,015 --> 01:23:41,176
Okay...

988
01:23:42,935 --> 01:23:44,301
Welcome to

989
01:23:45,020 --> 01:23:50,061
An Evening with Beverly Luff Linn,

990
01:23:50,609 --> 01:23:55,024
for one magical night only!

991
01:26:23,762 --> 01:26:26,596
Hmmm!

992
01:26:32,938 --> 01:26:34,975
Thank you. Please, sit.

993
01:26:43,990 --> 01:26:45,822
When I first moved to Aberdeen,

994
01:26:47,661 --> 01:26:50,369
this next piece became my shepherd.

995
01:26:51,623 --> 01:26:55,913
It guided me away from the shame
that had trotted up inside me.

996
01:26:58,130 --> 01:27:00,543
I'm sure a lot of you
felt the same way I did

997
01:27:01,591 --> 01:27:05,460
on those misty moors of Aberdeenshire.

998
01:27:07,264 --> 01:27:09,881
This next song is about the ocean,

999
01:27:10,559 --> 01:27:11,970
and what it means to be alone.

1000
01:27:13,019 --> 01:27:16,729
Specifically, in Aberdeenshire.

1001
01:28:37,813 --> 01:28:40,100
My real name is Edmund Summers.

1002
01:28:51,910 --> 01:28:53,697
I loved someone once.

1003
01:28:57,415 --> 01:29:00,499
I loved her with every waking moment,

1004
01:29:04,047 --> 01:29:05,538
and then I left her.

1005
01:29:11,429 --> 01:29:12,840
I have a great friend

1006
01:29:13,223 --> 01:29:17,308
who loves me very much.

1007
01:29:18,228 --> 01:29:20,345
He's up on the stage with me tonight.

1008
01:29:25,986 --> 01:29:29,696
Rodney, you're my best friend.

1009
01:29:31,324 --> 01:29:34,567
You look after me, you care for me,

1010
01:29:36,705 --> 01:29:38,287
and I do love you, Rodney.

1011
01:29:43,420 --> 01:29:45,537
But I'm not in love with you, Rodney.

1012
01:29:52,095 --> 01:29:53,677
I left my love with someone else,

1013
01:29:58,518 --> 01:30:00,358
and I don't know
if she will ever have me back.

1014
01:30:02,147 --> 01:30:03,888
She's the reason I'm here.

1015
01:30:06,943 --> 01:30:08,275
Happy birthday, Lulu.

1016
01:30:13,700 --> 01:30:15,942
I'd like to dedicate
this next song to you.

1017
01:30:16,578 --> 01:30:17,659
It's called...

1018
01:30:19,623 --> 01:30:22,957
Hmmm! Hmm!

1019
01:30:35,889 --> 01:30:36,925
Wait a second!

1020
01:30:39,184 --> 01:30:41,426
That's my wife!

1021
01:30:43,271 --> 01:30:44,557
And it's her birthday,

1022
01:30:45,690 --> 01:30:47,727
and I want to give her a fucking cake.

1023
01:30:57,202 --> 01:30:58,488
Happy birthday, sweetie.

1024
01:31:00,497 --> 01:31:03,490
I've had enough of this shit.
We're in the middle of a show.

1025
01:31:11,800 --> 01:31:12,836
Chipmunk!

1026
01:31:34,906 --> 01:31:36,067
Fucking cunts!

1027
01:31:37,701 --> 01:31:39,863
Hmmm. Hmm?

1028
01:31:41,204 --> 01:31:43,321
- That's it?
- Lulu.

1029
01:31:44,207 --> 01:31:45,323
What was that all about?

1030
01:31:45,875 --> 01:31:47,582
"I don't know
if she'll ever have me back."

1031
01:31:48,128 --> 01:31:49,289
I meant what I said.

1032
01:31:51,798 --> 01:31:53,710
I think I did. Maybe I got carried away.

1033
01:31:54,634 --> 01:31:57,126
I get so anxious
before these shows, I can't speak.

1034
01:31:58,179 --> 01:32:00,011
All I say is... Hmmm!

1035
01:32:00,682 --> 01:32:02,344
My stomach hurts, I get gas...

1036
01:32:03,518 --> 01:32:06,135
Well, we all get gas,
and then I go up there,

1037
01:32:06,855 --> 01:32:09,723
and sometimes I can't remember
a word I say up on that stage.

1038
01:32:10,692 --> 01:32:11,728
So, you didn't mean it?

1039
01:32:12,152 --> 01:32:13,643
I don't know what I mean any more.

1040
01:32:14,362 --> 01:32:15,728
In fact, in this precise moment,

1041
01:32:15,864 --> 01:32:18,652
I don't really know
exactly who on Earth I am.

1042
01:32:22,871 --> 01:32:26,535
But what about all the love
you left with me?

1043
01:32:27,042 --> 01:32:31,412
Hmmm! You see, you see,
I'm doing it again.

1044
01:32:35,759 --> 01:32:37,842
Why did you leave me there alone?

1045
01:32:40,597 --> 01:32:43,214
When I swam past the point
and I saw that ocean,

1046
01:32:44,350 --> 01:32:46,012
I knew I had to keep swimming,

1047
01:32:46,644 --> 01:32:47,976
I knew it was the time.

1048
01:32:48,855 --> 01:32:52,690
I know it sounds corny,
but something was calling me out there.

1049
01:32:53,276 --> 01:32:54,642
I had to keep swimming.

1050
01:32:57,113 --> 01:32:58,354
But where did you go?

1051
01:32:58,740 --> 01:33:02,154
I swam around the corner,
I hid behind a rock.

1052
01:33:02,869 --> 01:33:03,869
What?

1053
01:33:04,162 --> 01:33:06,870
Then that guy Cornelius,
remember him from the hotel?

1054
01:33:08,500 --> 01:33:09,500
Yes.

1055
01:33:09,918 --> 01:33:11,454
Well, he was in on it.

1056
01:33:11,753 --> 01:33:13,244
He got me off the island.

1057
01:33:14,005 --> 01:33:15,587
I think I paid him 80 bucks to help me.

1058
01:33:16,257 --> 01:33:17,498
You big witch.

1059
01:33:19,761 --> 01:33:21,002
Who is this guy?

1060
01:33:21,763 --> 01:33:23,174
You're a big witch.

1061
01:33:23,765 --> 01:33:26,599
Are you just gonna poo on her again
like you did last time?

1062
01:33:27,352 --> 01:33:28,684
Colin, stay out of this.

1063
01:33:28,770 --> 01:33:30,136
No, I will not stay out of this.

1064
01:33:30,313 --> 01:33:32,521
I've had to put up
with Beverly Luff Linn

1065
01:33:32,649 --> 01:33:34,811
and his shit event for the past week

1066
01:33:34,901 --> 01:33:38,986
because the woman I am in love with
is in love with him.

1067
01:33:39,072 --> 01:33:41,655
So, no, I will not stay out of this.

1068
01:33:45,078 --> 01:33:48,116
You have no idea, Edmund,
how lucky you are

1069
01:33:48,623 --> 01:33:52,287
to even have the possibility
of loving this special woman.

1070
01:33:56,089 --> 01:33:57,089
Oh.

1071
01:33:59,717 --> 01:34:01,800
I know all too well how special she is.

1072
01:34:34,627 --> 01:34:38,746
Meine Kleine Lubird.

1073
01:34:50,476 --> 01:34:55,471
Do you know what it feels like
when you simply don't belong?

1074
01:34:56,065 --> 01:34:57,065
Yes.

1075
01:35:08,036 --> 01:35:09,572
Edmund, wait!

1076
01:36:04,133 --> 01:36:06,295
Someone drinking a Rum and a Ramble?

1077
01:36:07,553 --> 01:36:10,591
Uh, well, let's see.
Yeah, it would appear so.

1078
01:36:12,934 --> 01:36:14,095
And how is it?

1079
01:36:15,186 --> 01:36:17,269
It's as creamy and delicious
as the last time.

1080
01:36:19,816 --> 01:36:21,023
Can I join you?

1081
01:36:29,075 --> 01:36:31,283
Captain, I'll have
two A Rumble in the Heather.

1082
01:36:31,577 --> 01:36:33,068
Absolutely, Miss Lulu.

1083
01:36:33,246 --> 01:36:35,533
And two more Rum and a Rambles for me,
thanks, Captain.

1084
01:36:36,624 --> 01:36:39,583
Going out with a bang
at the Moorhouse Hotel?

1085
01:36:40,962 --> 01:36:42,419
I'm driving out in the morning.

1086
01:36:45,717 --> 01:36:46,833
Where are you going?

1087
01:36:47,677 --> 01:36:50,044
Colin would rather that remain
top secret, thank you.

1088
01:36:50,138 --> 01:36:52,095
Well, Lulu would like Colin to tell her.

1089
01:36:53,683 --> 01:36:55,470
You don't have access
to that information.

1090
01:37:03,318 --> 01:37:07,312
You should know
that Edmund was my first love.

1091
01:37:13,578 --> 01:37:14,864
You can have other loves.

1092
01:37:20,710 --> 01:37:22,150
Two Rumbles and a Heather.

1093
01:37:24,881 --> 01:37:26,998
And two large Rum and a Ramble.

1094
01:37:47,987 --> 01:37:48,987
I love this song.

1095
01:37:52,116 --> 01:37:53,232
Don't you love this song?

1096
01:37:54,952 --> 01:37:56,113
I'm not familiar with it.

1097
01:37:57,205 --> 01:37:58,321
But do you love it?

1098
01:38:04,045 --> 01:38:05,045
It's all right.

1099
01:38:06,005 --> 01:38:07,962
But don't you love it?

1100
01:38:12,845 --> 01:38:13,926
Do you want to dance?

1101
01:38:16,015 --> 01:38:18,507
It's been a long time.
My moves are rusty.

1102
01:38:19,852 --> 01:38:21,093
It's okay, mine are too.

1103
01:40:36,822 --> 01:40:38,154
You know what I was thinking?

1104
01:40:40,743 --> 01:40:43,326
Every girl needs a Colin, Colin.

1105
01:40:44,872 --> 01:40:46,079
Be right back.

1106
01:40:54,840 --> 01:40:57,833
Now, Colin. Now's the time.

1107
01:41:45,141 --> 01:41:46,257
I love you, Colin.

1108
01:41:52,106 --> 01:41:53,187
What did you say?

1109
01:41:56,485 --> 01:41:57,976
I think I said I love you.

1110
01:42:03,784 --> 01:42:04,900
I love you too, Lulu.

1111
01:43:02,218 --> 01:43:04,005
I'll tell you something, Bev.

1112
01:43:04,595 --> 01:43:06,678
This young pup will be very keen

1113
01:43:06,931 --> 01:43:10,891
to get away from the shitpit dickhole
that was the Moorhouse Hotel.

1114
01:43:12,144 --> 01:43:13,180
There's your nibbles.

1115
01:43:13,688 --> 01:43:15,975
Nibbles, Bev.

1116
01:43:18,776 --> 01:43:20,062
Bev, nibbles.

1117
01:43:22,238 --> 01:43:23,445
Nibbles, Bev.

1118
01:43:25,408 --> 01:43:26,489
Bev, nibbles.

1119
01:43:28,619 --> 01:43:30,485
Bev, nibbles.

1120
01:43:32,707 --> 01:43:34,994
Bev, Bev.

1121
01:43:38,295 --> 01:43:39,295
Whoa, Bev!

1122
01:43:39,630 --> 01:43:43,123
Help! Help! Help! Help!

1123
01:43:43,217 --> 01:43:44,674
We've got a death in here!

1124
01:43:45,219 --> 01:43:47,256
Help! Help!

1125
01:43:47,722 --> 01:43:50,089
- This is a death scene!
- Hmmm!

1126
01:43:52,059 --> 01:43:54,016
- Hmmm.
- Oh, my...

1127
01:43:54,770 --> 01:43:56,386
Good God, Bev.

1128
01:43:57,440 --> 01:44:00,148
You scared the hell out of me.
We all thought you'd died.

1129
01:44:05,072 --> 01:44:06,438
Hmmm!

1130
01:44:07,616 --> 01:44:08,732
Hmmm!