i figured everything out and now i still want to act nice ...GGGgggrrr...1 Day send every message the key word for tommorrow is "PATIENCE" you better use that word as many different ways as possible to get me to wait ill be receptive to it since it is a key meditation technique...I dont want to wait bruh you cant even feel anxiety coming from me anymore its neutral energy !!! do with it as you please. LoL why am i even talk ahhahahahah i mean its a good way of getting to the core of people weeding out nice and bad people LOL this inner dialog is insane do you understand what i am saying to myself right now

ive figured out a lot of other things in the background that i didnt want to research LOL imagine i was this smart and evil the above dialog make it seem like i have a soul and if i had it in me i'd call without planning ahead LOL like a Rookie How will you prove that what i realized is true i am in a rush and absolutly not caring at the same time absolute neutrality wins again ? i got to the answer pretty fast! and im not afraid ...but i still have to wait ? why am i cursed with patience god i act fast and prove my patience yet i am still forced into being patient i mean i do it voluntarily because it is a key virtue to divinity but i swear to god if it wasnt !!! I want to see the colour blue !!! im tired of all this green if i have to wait i want to be calm I dont want money I dont want anything ive figured out how to make everything stop but i want to figure out why it wont stop on its own ? isnt this a fight ? i dont want to be the rabbit that waited and slept in the race...im not missing anything..RESET!!! i dont want any fucking money i want the truth making me look like a loser now i cant finish college.... HERE I AM GOING TO THE LIBRARY TMW WITH THAT KNOWLEDGE DO AS YOU LIKE !!! Im only going to try to get an apprenticeship 3 times ill put my heart into it too I want to finish school but i can also just transfer the credits LOL the easiest part of school is all thats left. im not finishing it because i cant im not finishing it because Uhhh DUHHH FUCK YOU WHY YOU TEST ME SO MUCH FOR