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WhydoIevenbother

Laptop and Internet

Dec 11th, 2013
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  1. >Day there's no time for this in Equestria
  2. >You're in your bedroom
  3. >You have blocked your door and windows and you are sitting in a corner like a scared
  4. girl, hugging your laptop like a teddy bear
  5. >Your laptop was the only thing you brought with yourself besides your clothes and you
  6. wouldn't let any harm come to it
  7. >For some reason, the Internet from your world had signal in Equestria, and that meant
  8. that you could keep up with what was happening with your world
  9. >Though it was slow as shit, so you never had the patience to actually use it
  10. >A fucking YouTube video had to load for an entire day to play just one minute on 1080 pp
  11. >You would never damage your eyes with lower video quality
  12. >Though there were other sites that apparently loaded videos faster
  13. >But your autism wouldn't let you use them because fuck you
  14. >Heavy slams on your door make you hug your laptop even tighter
  15. >"Come on, Anon! It's for SCIENCE!"
  16. >That was princess purple autism, who wouldn't take a 'no' for an answer
  17. Science my balls! You're going to take away the only thing that keeps me sane!
  18. >You should thank Sunbutt for making your room teleport-proof
  19. >When you were constantly interrupted by alicorns that liked to suddenly appearing while
  20. you were masturbating it was the only solution
  21. >That was also the only reason for Sparky to still be out there and not in here
  22.  
  23. 1/3
  24.  
  25. >In your panic, you open your laptop and do what most likely is your last google search
  26. >"How to calm down a mare"
  27. >After half an hour of waiting your search has given you results
  28. >And none of them tell you how to calm down a purple alicorn pony mare
  29. >Fucking normal people and their normal problems
  30. >"How to calm down a crazy autist"
  31. >After another half hour you once again find nothing useful
  32. >Fucking autism
  33. >You close your laptop in frustration and notice that there're no more bangs on your door
  34. >Maybe she gave up
  35. >"Ya sure about this Twi?" Uh oh, that was Applejack "Last time Ah did this he spent a
  36. whole week under his bed"
  37. >"It's for the good of the many! Besides, he'll get over it" A pause "Eventually"
  38. >'Shit shit shit shit shit if she does what I think she's going to do I'll force both of them to
  39. eat Applejack's ponytails'
  40. >Just as you finished your thought your door, along with several planks, nails, your bed
  41. and a box full of playcolt magazines were kicked to the opposite side of your room
  42.  
  43. 2/3
  44.  
  45. >Those were a lot of magazines
  46. >You don't even know how you were able to push it to the door
  47. >Your attention goes back to where your door used to be.
  48. >You see Twilight Sparkle and Applejack standing there
  49. >"Alright Anon, there's nowhere else to go and you ran out of Sudokus to keep me
  50. distracted! Hoof over that laptop!"
  51. >You stand up and run for the window
  52. "NEVER!"
  53. >Your battle cry keeps them frozen in shock and you're able to jump to the window.
  54. >But in your adrenaline induced escape you forgot that your window was blocked by
  55. sturdy wood planks and you crash head first into it
  56. >You were just as stupid as the purple princess
  57. >The ponies snap out of their surprise and Twilight takes your laptop from your grasp
  58. >"Thank you for your cooperation!"
  59. >'That bastard ain't gonna get away with it' you thought
  60. >And she teleported out of your room
  61. Dammit Sunbutt! Next time don't let ponies teleport out of this room!
  62. >Outside, a ray of sunlight managed to burn the planks on your window and write on
  63. the floor
  64. >'Sure, whatever'
  65. >Today was a 'Internet is not useful' day
  66.  
  67. 3/3
  68.  
  69. THE END
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