Positiviteeny ep 54 - Love Out Loud

Original audio found here: https://anchor.fm/positiviteeny/episodes/Love-Out-Loud-e2vjue/a-a91t5l
0:00

Travis: Welcome to Positiviteeny.

Erika: Messages of hope, support and inspiration.

Amy: In ten minutes or less.

Travis: I'm Travis McElroy.

Erika: I'm Erika Ishii.

Amy: I'm Amy Dallen.

[Three ascending chimes]

Erika: I don't think that we've talked about this, but I recently said it online and I'll say it again, cuz it's very important. If you love somebody, you should tell them.

Amy: Mmm.

Travis: Yes.

Erika: I mean, most of the time-- There are some exceptions where that's not a good or healthy course of action, but I'm going to say most of the time, whether it's you're in love with somebody or it's a friendship or a family member, just you can never tell somebody that you love them enough times. Just make sure they know.

Travis: You know my family..my family growing up every time we walked out the door or hung up the phone or anything said, "I love you," and, like, it was-- I don't know that we ever said it, but I think we all understood that it's, like, you know, maybe we're going to get in a car accident when we leave today or, like, I don't know. You know so much-- so many things can happen.

1:18

Erika: Yeah. I mean, life is short. Life is short and you need to let somebody know that and also it feels good to hear that.

Amy: Yeah.

Travis: Yeah. It really-- And you know? Here's the thing: I like saying it. Like, I-- There's something about telling-- Teresa always, kind of, very jokingly, like, when..when I say "I love you," she's, like, "I know." Like you told me. Like--

[Erika laughs]

Travis: --because I say it--

Amy: Aww.

Travis: -- a lot, but the thing is it's, like, I like saying it. I like letting people know that and, like, I say it to Bebe all the time and she, like, giggles when I say it and, like, it's great. I like..I like telling people I love them, because one you never know who needs to hear it--

Amy: Yes.

Travis: --Cuz it's..it's--

Erika: That's--

Travis: --it's so easy to say, like, "Well, they know how I feel." Yeah, but you never know whose day that is going to make. Whose life that is going to change by saying, like, "Hey. I love you." Like, "I appreciate you, but more than appreciate you, like, you mean enough to me that I want you-- Like, I feel this powerful, positive emotion about you." It's amazing--

Amy: That's beautiful.

Travis: what things like that can change.

2:37

Erika: Yeah and I mean, love has so many different contexts and meanings for us. You know, they always say that in the Greek language there are so many different words for different kinds of love and we don't have that sort of nuance to..to the language to the term love for us. I mean, because it just is..it just is an all-encompassing term and I think that there's sometimes a reluctance to-- There can be a reluctance to say it for different reasons, like sometimes forgetting. Sometimes it's because you don't want somebody to take it the wrong way. Sometimes because you're scared to. Sometimes it's because you don't feel like it's, like, an appropriate thing-- when you don't feel like you're close enough to a friend or a loved one to say that and..and for it to mean what you wanted to mean, but, like, just-- You should just say it. I think if more people told each other that they loved each other, everybody'd be a little happier.

3:35

Travis: You know it's--

Amy: And if those aren't the words that you're comfortable using to express regard and affection or value for someone, there are lots of ways to express that that--

Erika: Oh yeah. That's true, too. Yeah.

Amy: --might work better for you in that situation, but it's the same thing. You're giving them the gift of knowing that-- what they mean to you and that's huge.

Travis: I-- And I think that when it comes down to it for me, I don't know. I feel about it like a muscle. You know where when you start working out, it's hard. When you start exercising, it's hard, but the more you do it, the better you get at it and, like, the stronger you feel and the more confident you are. Like, that's kind of how I feel about it is I remember making the conscious choice and this is-- God. I hope that this-- the thing I'm about to say they are people younger than me listening and think it's outdated, but I remember making a conscious decision to start telling my male friends that I love them.

4:36

Amy: Mmm.

Erika: Yeah--

Travis: and, like--

Erika: --That's a huge thing.

Travis: Yeah, because, like, it was a thing of, like, I want them to know. I don't want it to be that, like, "Mwah. They know." Macho blah blah blah kinda BS.

Amy: Yeah.

Travis: And you know what? The number one most common response I got was a surprised but heartfelt "I love you" in response. Of, like, as if--

Amy: Aww.

Travis: -- the other person was waiting for me to say at or hoping I would say it to give them an excuse to say it.

Amy: Yeah.

5:11

Travis: And, like, that kinda stuff is, like, you might catch him by surprise and they might not say it back, but they don't have to. But, like, that kind of thing, it's amazing how much better you'll feel saying it. If you mean it. I mean, cuz that's the thing. If you love someone and I don't mean, like, you're romantically in love with them, though that is important too, but if you love the existence of someone, you love that they're a person that you know that exists in the world, saying it out loud isn't-- is..is for both of you--

[A dog starts barking in the background]

Travis: --you know? And I..I think it is important. Like, right now Buttercup's telling me that she loves me.

[Amy and Erika Laugh]

Erika: Yeah. I think that there is an-- as-- we..we've discussed that there was before this and in some cases still, some just taboo about people being vulnerable, especially men sharing emotions and it..it makes me sad that that is the case or was the case and I'm really happy that that is more great-- more commonly being discussed and done away with. That..that that people have the freedom to express themselves and their emotions, because it's..it really is important and-- Yeah. I think there are..there are so many reasons to be scared of saying it, but they're-- In my mind, it just-- The benefits will always outweigh those costs. So, Amy and Travis, I love you.

6:54

Travis: I love you both, too.

Amy: I love you guys.

Travis: Yeah. I love you very much.

[Three descending chimes]

Travis: Thank you for joining us.

Erika: Tune in again every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

Amy: Until then, take care of yourselves!

7:05