Of Marshmallows and Men (WiP)

>Night Rob Stewart Was On To Something on Earth
>Be Rarity
>Anon's apartment is dreadfully boring
R: Anon, this is simply awful
>Paw at your mane and roll on Anon's bed
R: You said you would work on a way to get me back to Equestria days ago
A: I am working as hard as I can
>You hang your beautiful mane over the edge of the bed and pout
R: I miss my friends, and Sweetie Belle, and my sewing machine... oh, and my little kitty, Opal. The poor dear's probably worried sick about her mommy
>You cross your magnificent hooves over your heart
A: Well, I am sorry about your family and friends, I can't work any faster on getting you back to them. I did, however, find this in my travels today and thought you might like it
>You lift your head up to see what Anon brought you
R: Oh, Anon, a present for moi~?
>Anon presents to you a large, grey sewing machine
>The shiny red letters read "S-I-N-G-E-R" across the top of the machine
>You gasp and hop to your hooves
R: Anon, you shouldn't have, oh, but you should, how love~ly!
>Your voice skips about as you express your excitement
>You suddenly realize how much more you are missing home right now as your hooves trace the finely made body of the sewing machine
R: A dress would probably make me feel better and I can make a matching hat. Oh, and I could tidy up your suit, Anon. No offense, but, they are becoming rather rough from your repeated use of them
>Anon beams at you
A: Well, actually, I have a very intimate problem, if you could take care of it for me?
>You ears perk up at the word "intimate"  and you listen in for such juicy details
A: Well, hah, you see, I kind of snagged my face on a low-hanging nail a few days back. I was wondering if you could just fix that little hole
R: You, Anonymous, want me, little ol' Rarity from Ponyville, to fix your most precious treasure?
A: Well, yeah, i-if you wouldn't...
>You cut him off with great pleasure in your voice
R: Why, of course, I would be honored to help you. After all, it was you who let me live here and feed me and give me such exquisitely soft blankets and excellent 1000 thread-counted sheets. I simply could -not- stand uncounted threads to sleep on
>You cast your left hoof over your forehead
R: I will only try to bring your mask back to its former glory so that you may proudly resume being, well, you!
>Anon smiles and thanks you
>You think to yourself that you've never seen Anon without his "face" on before
>While it is only prudent for a lady to always "have her face on", it was much more a part of Anon than simply make-up and masks
A: So... uh, well, here you go
>Anon reached his hands into the collar of his suit and loosened his tie
>You watched with bated breath as the tie hung slack on his neck and his white collar was turned up
>His strong, human fingers crept expertly into the collar and caught the edge of where the mask laid on his neck
>You moved slightly closer and basked in this overpowering sensation of utter exposure
>The mask slid up a strong, clean neck line
>It lifted up more and more, revealing a smooth, pointed chin and soft, full lips
>You began to shake with anticipation as his small, human nose was revealed next
>And here you were at the threshold of Anon's helplessness
>The mask fully lifted from his head for the first time in years that you had known him
>You saw his well kept, if self-administered, mane and his smooth eyebrows that perfectly lined his eyes
>And in a moment, you stood captivated by his soft, understanding eyes
R: A-Anon, y-your eyes!
>Those eyes held deep, meaningful wisdom and tender, warm conversation the likes of which no stallion had ever compared
>Anon blinked as if in slow motion, his eyelashes neatly meeting and parting
A: Oh, is there something in my eye?
>You voice was detained in the pit of your throat and barely a squeak parted your lips
>Even his voice was different
>Not cold and unyielding as it sounded coming through the mask, but the voice of a friend you'd never known
A: Charity, are you OK?
>Your heart thud so fiercely in your chest that you were concerned he might hear
>You could feel a bead of sweat well at your forelock, just under your horn and it took every ounce of your being to speak
R: N-nothing... y-your eyes are... perfect
A: Oh, well, thanks in advance for helping me with this, I'm going to get back to those books and see if we can't get you home soon
>A thought sparked inside your head of "home" and you thought of your next move carefully
R: Anon, now please, you've been working much too hard for me. I should do something for you in return
A: Fixing my face would be perfect for me. Didn't you say you missed your friends and family so dearly
>You did! Curse you, line 9!
R: I am sure they miss me, however, they are adults and I am sure they would understand such circumstances
A: Alright... if you say so
>Anon walks over into the kitchen and leaves you with your new sewing machine, threads, a variety of fabrics and his "face"
>You stare at the green, smooth mask in your hoof
>This beastly mask hides the face of the most beautiful creature you've ever seen
>You stare for a while at the mask, the image of Anon's eyes burning a picture in your brain
>You whisper to yourself aloud
R: Those eyes, like refined diamonds, why does he hide himself from both our worlds?
>Today has raised more questions than you'd ever like to think of
>You set up a work station and press the hoof pedal for the first time
>The machine springs to life as it feeds the thread into a knot
>You stare intently at the mask again while picturing Anon's face
>You thoughts race about you
R: Oh woe is me. If I complete this mask, this -prison-, Anon will be happy and hidden once more. But, if I don't, I could look upon those beautiful eyes again and they would be filled with sadness. What ever shall I do?
>Anon returns with two cups in his hand and a small, neatly prepared bowl of some delicious smelling food
A: Ah, good, you're still here
>You look up at him quizzically
R: Where would I have gone?
>You try to catch his eyes again, but he seems to be doing his best to hide his face from you
A: Oh, I don't know... it was just really quiet. Not like you, at least, for the last few days
R: I am sorry if I had been that much of a nuisance
>You know Anon's words ring with a lot of truth
A: Oh, no, I didn't mean it like that, I... I just, you know? Do you like the Singer?
>Anon seemed to speak with much less enthusiasm and force without his mask
R: Yes, it feels so right between my hooves. I belong behind a desk, creating beautiful things
A: Good, I am glad you like it
>You try to turn your neck and catch another glimpse of Anon's face, but he obscures it with the shadows of the apartment
>The only light, other than your work bench, is coming from the full moon shining through the window
R: Anon, I've been having a few concerns with your mask
>A devious, malicious and downright, unlady-like thought enters your mind
R: Surely, you do not mind -me-, Rarity, around while you are not wearing the mask?
>You approach closer and closer, the wicked thoughts in your head battle each other for dominance
R: Before I finish it, could you... could you let me see your face again?
>Anon doesn't stir from his shroud
>You are at his knees now
>You place your hooves on either side of his legs and pull yourself up a bit
R: It will be done before you wake in the morning, I promise as an artist~. I-I would just adore seeing your -real- face again. After all, are we not the best of friends?
>Your horn begins to light up with magic as you attempt to illuminate Anon
>He grabs your horn with one swift motion and blocks most of the light
A: I can't let you do that, Marshmallow
>You blast another ray of light
>It hits the ceiling before vanishing
A: What's gotten into you, Charity?
R: A lady has needs to fulfill!
>You can't believe you said that!
>What has become of the lady Rarity who is now bearing down on her only friend in this world?
>You get a hold of yourself and your magic fades
>Tears form in your large, blue eyes as you sink into Anon's lap
R: Oh, forgive me, Anon, I never meant to go this far. I just couldn't help myself! Your eyes are like the most magnificent gems I've ever seen~!
A: Y-you think my eyes are nice?
R: Nice?! More like flawless diamonds
A: Gee, I don't know what to say... sorry for the rough treatment to your horn
>Anon loosens his grip on your horn and with a strong, soft gesture, he caress it from your mane-line to the tip
>Your back legs fall out from underneath you and your head buries itself in his lap
R: A-A-non~! Oh, not t-t-there!
A: Oh my! I suppose that would be sensitive, haha, sor...
>You can't take this anymore
>You demand satisfaction after this emotional roller-coaster
R: Ah-ah-again, please~
>Anon's hand is still for a moment
>You feel that after all the cruel things you have done so far, this may just end your friendship
>You sit there, ready to be banished or exiled, or whatever it is humans do to ex-friends
>Anon takes a deep breath in and slowly lets it out
>Your stomach is so full of butterflies at this very moment that you almost wish you had a mask to hide behind
>Before another morbid thought can cross your mind, Anon strokes your horn again
R: Ah-ah-oh, oh, yes~!
A: Heh, this is excellent, also explains why TwiBright threw me out that day... yeah, that was confusing me for a while
R: D-don't stop, I need this
>Anon chuckles and strokes you with swift, deliberate motions
>You all but melt in his expert hands
>You moan in every-way-but ladylike as Anon picks up the pace
>With a few steady thrusts, you lose control and your special kind of "magic" is released in a powerful blast
>Anon is engulfed by the bright light as you lay in his lap
>Drool hangs from your muzzle and your whole body aches from the strained position
R: Ohh~, Anon, that was wonderful
>Anon runs a finger along your muzzle and traces your lips
A: Y-you too
>You look back to Anon's suit jacket
>Your loss of control has reformed his coat into a jet black, double-breasted coat with gold buttons and form-fitting shoulders that naturally contour to Anon's own frame
>By Celestia, you must have been pent up!
A: This jacket is kind of nice... I wonder how it'd look with my face on?
>Anon turns your head to face him
>His icy hands soothe your hot face
>You see him stare into your tired eyes
>Those beautiful features of his fill your mind as he speaks nonsense to you
>Before you realize, you're being carried to your bed
>Anon hummed the 'Sleep Song' as he placed your delicate body down
A: Goodnight, SquigglyTail, see ya in the AM
R: You would make *yawn* a perfect prince...
>Zzz

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Day We Fancy Now on Earth
>Be Rarity
>Zzz

>Be Anon
>You sit up from the couch that you had been sleeping on
>The sun is glorious this morning
>You look at your clothes in the light and marvel at how clean you look
>You tip-toe around your home and peak in on your guest in your room
>Rarity is sleeping like a lamb
>Or pony
>No, maybe just like a lamb... lambs have hooves, yeah, it all makes sense
>You leave the door slightly open and decide to make breakfast
>It is the most important meal of the day

>Be Rarity
>You are dreaming of a wonderful castle
>You are laying on a bed made of cloud and the door to your chambers opens
>In steps a beautiful stallion
>His mane is midnight black and his piercing eyes hold your attention
R: Oh, Prince Anonymous of Earthia... what a pleasant surprise to see you in my bed chambers
>You smile seductively and spread your body out across your bed
R: What can -I- help you with on such a fortuitous evening?
>You place a single grape between your teeth and hold it elegantly
A: Faire Princess, I come on behalf of the kingdom of Yonkers to ask for your lovely hoof in holy matrimony
>You gasp, more for effect than out of true surprise
R: Why, Anonymous, darling, what a sudden and unexpected offer. I know I am the fairest in all these lands and that my considerable territory is renowned for its resource, but surely, you would want something else of me?
>The stud of a stallion approaches you
>His eyes nearly pin you with his presence
A: My lady, I assure you all worldly possession are for naught in my eyes for I have fallen deeply and hopelessly in love with you. To have you rule at my side for all of time is my only desire
>You stifle a giggle
>Anon is so romantic and charming!
>You lay your right hoof over the bed and place your other hoof across your brow
R: Prince Anonymous, if you would take my hoof in marriage, I would...
>You stop as you are overcome by the smell of food
>It seems to be coming from no where nearby
R: Ahem... as I was saying, if you would have me as your queen, I will...
>The smell of flesh burning causes you to stir
>You sit up in your cloud-bed and sniff the air
R: Uh, kind Prince... do you smell something burning?
>Anon looks to you and bares his teeth
>You see a mouth full of impossibly sharp canines gleam at you
R: A-Anon... Anonymous?
>He brings his hoof down twice
>Anon charges at you
>You scream and clutch your hooves to your chest

>Be Anon
>Making bacon because your stomach ain't faking about aching for some bacon
>You try to sing this in your head a few times
>You are bad at creating melodies
>The silence is disrupted by a scream from your bedroom
>You dash in quickly
A: What's going on?!
>You see Rarity clutching a pillow and visibly shaking
>Shaking... bacon... making
>Cut that out!

>Be Rarity
>You realize everything that just happened was a nightmare of sorts
>You clutch the pillow between your hooves for a moment before looking to Anon
>Anon is looking at you quizzically from the doorway
A: Yo, Rarity... ya alright?
>You look at him for a moment and blink some sleeping sand out of your eyes
>He doesn't look like a menacing, feral pony
R: Oh, Anon, it's just you... I... I had a bad dream
>You sniff the air
A: Oh, want to talk about?
>You look around the room
R: Is something burning? I swear I smell something burning?
A: I was making breakfast... don't think I burnt anything yet
>You see Anon's sincere eyes
A: Do you like waffles? I made some for you
>Maybe some breakfast will do you justice
>You hop out of bed and meander to the kitchen area
>Anon places a large, well-crafted waffle on a porcelain plate
>He garnishes with a dollop of butter in the center
R: Oh darling, this looks fantastic, but do you have...
>You freeze for a moment
>Anon empties another pan onto his plate of a waffle and three strips of some unfortunate creature
>Your eyes hold wide in astonishment
A: Do I have any what now?
>Anon casually lifts a strip of meat to his mouth and tears a piece with his wicked canines
>You shriek and fall back
A: Marshmallow! Are you OK?
>Anon rushes to your side and extends his hand
>What a gentleman... a monstrous, flesh-eating gentleman
R: Stay back you... you... pony eating brute!
>You scoot backwards and lift yourself up
>Anon looks surprised at you
A: Pony eating? I don't think I've ever eaten a pony before
R: What poor soul did you just devour in your life-taking jaws!
A: I swear I never met them!
R: Oh woe is me! Trapped with a carnivore when my body is so supple and, most likely delicious, from years of exercise and maintenance! I'm too beautiful to be eaten!
A: SquigglyTail... I am not going to eat you...
R: Perhaps -not- today! Perhaps not tomorrow! But, I have seen horrible things, Anon. I have public access television!
>The horror
A: And for that, I am truly sorry. However, I am not trying, nor would I ever try, to eat you
R: I had no idea you ate -meat-
>You sob
R: And I thought you'd make the perfect prince
A: Wha~?
R: Nothing, it's nothing... how could you!?
>Anon ponders for a moment
A: I had no idea this meant so much to you... I really never could eat meat back in Ponyville... because they only served cupcakes and salad. I am sorry if I offended you
>His eyes tell you that he really is sorry
>But, that dangerous mouth is off-putting
R: I should have seen the signs! Those sharp teeth are just like a dragons, though, I was sure you used them for eating gemstones!
A: Certainly not! Diamonds are too rich for my diet
>Anon taps his feet and holds his hands out to his sides for a moment
>You don't understand if this is suppose to be comedy
A: Everyp0ny's a critic
>Anon frowns for a moment
A: I am very sorry though. I guess it didn't really occur to me what you might think of bacon
R: What had this Bacon fellow done to you that made you eat him?
>You listen closely as to avoid the same fate
A: Bacon has only ever been good to me, my dear. Minus the artery clogging cholesterol
>You must have missed a part or two
>Sometimes, it felt like you were talking to Pinkie Pie
R: No, no, I mean... why? Why did you eat this pony?
A: Oh, this bacon is from a pig
>That is... slightly comforting
R: So... you did -not- eat a pony?
A: Never have, never will
>Anon smiles at you
>The realization of his dagger-like fangs makes you see his smile as something to avoid right now
A: Do you... do you still want that waffle?
>You feel a bit sick watching Anon eat meat
R: Perhaps later, darling... I should get to work on your mask. I am way past the deadline I had promised last night
A: Ah, I forgot you still had it!
>Anon seems happy when you present his tattered mask
>For the next hour or so, you go about setting up your workstation and tending to Anon's "face"
>You do a superior job in the details and help spruce the fine layer inside to allow for a more breathable feeling
>Anon reappears at your desk after so long
R: There we are! I am not sure if it is as good as new, but it certainly looks much better
>You pass Anon the mask
A: Oh, oh my...
>Anon rubs his fingers on the material slowly
A: It feels so... so soft
>He quickly covers his face up
>You feel saddened you can no longer see his eyes, but relieved his mouth is hidden again
>Anon's voice takes on its familiar tone of coldness
A: Oh, yes! It's fantastic! I feel whole again!
>Anon cheers and dances in place
A: Charity, this is the most wonderful work I've ever seen. You made my face one hundred times more comfortable!
R: Why, thank you, Anon. It was my pleasure
>Anon is suddenly behind you
>He's seem to regain his old ability to move at unnatural speeds since becoming "whole"
>You feel his cool arms wrap around your waist and lock under your forelegs
>He hugs you tightly and his heart beats against you
>You melt in his presence and bubble mindlessly
>Anon retracts himself
A: Oh, sorry, too much?
>You are still a little concerned about Anon's carnivorous ways
R: It's nothing, darling. I do have a question for you though. Have you found any more information on how to get me back to Equestria?
A: You know, I haven't really. I mean, it's not really something you can even look for and I can't think of how I first got to Equestria myself
>You hang your head
R: Oh well, one should not pout even when one is feeling... completely homesick
A: Come now, Rare, I am sure Twilight will be working hard to get you back. Besides, she'd know how to come here
R: I suppose you are right, Anon. I will simply bide my time for now in your... lovely home
A: You're welcome to anything here. I have satellite television
>You don't know what a "satellite" is, but perhaps it will be better than looking at the four walls
A: I will try to pick up any materials I can for you to make a new dress though
>You smile
R: Thank you. You are a truly dear friend to me
>You lean in and hug Anon
>His cool body feels kind of pleasant
>You look over his shoulder to see the sun setting and a golden light floods the room
>You think of Celestia lifting and lowering the sun
R: Anon... who raises the sun on Earth?
A: Oh, I guess... no one. It just does
R: That is peculiar
A: Oh yes, Earth is very different than Equestria
R: I am yearning to go out and see the sights. I think it is only fair after how well we treated you in Equestria
>You pout your lips and cross your hooves over your chest
A: Of course, but it is very different here. Love and tolerance are just words and ponies don't talk. We'd have to get creative
>You sigh and sit over your desk again
A: I think... if you don't mind the dark... that there's a place I can take you that you'd like
>You smile and keep your hopes up
>Anonymous would never lead you astray
A: OK, give it a few more hours. Tonight, we ride!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Night Splendid and Dapper on Earth
>Be Rarity
>Anonymous and you sneak from the apartment room
>You are clad in a simple, if not beautiful, cloak you whipped up
>You are truly a fashionista!
>Anon has a brown trench coat on
>You are not entirely sure why he needs a disguise in his world, but to question Anon is to invite confusion
>The two of you do an admirable job of getting past any other humans
>It's quite easy when the rest of the world is sleeping
>Actually stepping outside for the first time in Anon's world is humbling
>The large white buildings touch the sky and the stars seem to spread much wider in the night
>The level of magical technology his world displays is beyond anything you have seen in Canterlot
R: Anon, where are you taking me?
A: I said it was a surprise
R: Well, I do enjoy a surprise every now and again
>You follow Anon closely around his building and you walk across a paved sidewalk
>Small lights flicker aimlessly in reds or greens
>You try and take in as much as you can in this strange land
>The remainder of the trip is easy enough and goes by in minutes
A: We're here... just hang on a moment
>You look at "here" and are still confused
>Anon opens a door slowly and peaks in
>He looks back to you after a minute and waves you to him
>You cross the threshold into the darkness of the room
>Anon follows behind you and the door shuts
>You whisper with a bit of concern
R: Anon, I can't see a thing
>A light suddenly flashes on and you see the room for the first time
>Mannequins! Human in shape, but still
>You notice sewing machines and fabrics and so many various costumes laying around
R: What is this place, Anon?
A: The local theater thingy. This is the "art" room where they store dresses and stuff. It's hardly used these days since so many people moved out
R: Well, it is lovely, though I am not entirely sure what you wanted me to see?
A: I thought you enjoy the uh, the art and sewing paraphernalia
R: Oh, yes, it's lovely but... well, as you said, not much is going on here. What is art without an audience?
>Anon hangs his head
>You think you might have hurt his feelings
A: Yeah, this town is pretty boring... well, maybe we can...
>You hear voices coming from another room
>A door leading to the upper floor opens up and light shines down the steps
Person: So, I says to them, I says, "Doll, if ya think ya can handle the big apple, get ya'self on the train tonight". And would'ya believe it, but she just left!
Person Also: Oh, wow, ain't that the story. Half the peoples I know are already moving to da' city for'a betta' life
>Two women stop halfway down the steps and Anon scoots you behind some junk
>That was quite rude!
Person: Hey! Who'a you? What'a ya doin' in here?
>The second human seems to be a bit more frightened of Anon
A: Oh, uh, I was just... um... looking for a bathroom?
Person: Can't ya just pee on the building like all the other bums?
A: Hey! I ain't a bum!
Person Also: Ease up, Shirley, I'm sure dis guy here's just some lost mook
Person: I don't know, Jan, he's kind'a got mask like a robba'?
A: What mask?
Person: The one on ya head, dummy?
A: I'm not wearing a mask
>Anon picks up a half mask that is painted white
A: But, now I am the phantom! Bring me my piano so that I may lament!
Person: OK, ya cuckoo, get out or I'll call the feds
A: Fine, fine
>Anon speeds over to the light switch on the wall
A: I bid you "ladies", good evening
>Anon lets out a disturbing laugh and flicks the light off
A: Rarity, come on!
>You run to the exit
>The light flips back on
Shirely: Nice try, creep, but we got two switches here!
>Everyone sees you run from behind the boxes
>You stumble over some clutter on the floor
>You look up to see Anon grimacing and race over to you
A: Smooth, Marshmallow...
>He gets you to your hooves
R: I am a lady. We don't just go around hiding and escaping from things
>You both stampede out with the two humans gawking your way
Shirley: Was... was the a horse?
Jan: I dink so...
S: Sickos in this town...
>You and Anon escape with what dignity you managed to keep
>You both race to another part of the building
A: OK, so maybe it's more active than I realized
R: Who were those humans, Anon?
A: No clue
R: Did you hear what they were talking about?
A: About heading into the city? Yeah, I've given it thought before
>You hear the female voice coming from around the corner
A: Shiiiiii~, we gotta hide you!
R: Oh, no, I am not being stuffed in another tiny place, especially out here in all this filth
>You spy garbage littering the ground and tip-hoof away from it
A: If they see you... no telling what they'll do
R: Please, Anon, I am a lady of class and sophistication. Surely, I will have no trouble in dealing with a few more humans
>The first human rounds the corner and sees you two
S: Stop right there, you'se guys!
J: If ya don't mind, that is
>The human known as Shirley seems to be a strong runner and closes the distances with you in no time
>The other, Jan, is slowly trailing behind her
S: The jig is up
>Anon brandishes a foam sword and is wearing the half mask from earlier
A: Back! Back I say!
>He lunges and weaves in a silly fashion
S: That horse talked, I heard her
R: Well, of course. I am fluent in multiple languages
>You bounce your mane on a hoof and pose ever so slightly
>The human stands a little awkward now with her mouth hanging open
A: Oh, boy... this is the part where we go to jail...
J: Shirley, stop runnin' every where *pant*, ya know I'm not as fast as ya
S: This horse can talk! That's crazy!
J: It really can? No foolin'?
S: Yeah, yeah, watch it!
>Every human on the street is now watching you and you do not want to disappoint
>You lean in and whisper to Anon
R: What do I say?
A: How about, "You are both hallucinating?"
>You shake your head and chuckle
>Anon is so silly sometimes
R: My name is Rarity and I am from Ponyville. Pleased to meet you two
S+J: Noooo~ way! That's crazy!
>Anon holds his hand to his face
A: And we have a long trot back home, so if you will excuse us...
S: Wha'? Ya can't leave! We wanna see ya pet!
>You scoff at that remark
R: Pet? I am no pet! Anon here is my friend, no my owner
>Anon places his hand to his face and pushes his checks up
A: The best of friends!
>The two humans stare at you in amazement
S: So, what's the trick here? How're gettin' her to talk?
A: True AI and the miracle of Chinese laborers
>Everyone looks at you skeptically
A: Fine, the truth of the matter is that she is a pony from a magical land known as Equestria and that she was teleported here by mistake by yet another talking unicorn while trying to send me home from that magical land of ponies and rainbows.
>How does Anon so accurately mimic Pinkie Pie?
S: Ya really want me to believe that? I think that mask is too tight on ya, pal
R: But, it's all true! I am a unicorn from the land of Equestria. Have you never seen another unicorn before?
SS+J: Another?
R: Oh my, I see why you are confused. You must only have earth ponies here. That would explain why it's called, "Earth" after all
>You give a false laugh at the play on words
J: I-if you're a unicorn... can ya show us your magic?
>You think for a moment
>Your public is expecting something grand
>Wouldn't want humans to think unicorns were hacks compared to pegasi and earth ponies
>Your horn glows intensely as you focus
>A solid beam of light engulfs a nearby trash can and beautifies it
R: Voilà! Not the easiest thing to tidy up, but I think you understand now, hmm?
J: I always believed unicorns were real...
S: Don't be a suck-up! Besides, unicorns are totally not like dis kind of unicorn
J: When did ya become the unicorn-expert?
S: Since always! Unicorns are like... virgin detectors and stuff. I figured hangin' out with'choo long enough would run me into one
>Shirely gives a small laugh through her teeth
J: H-hey! Ya promised not ta mention that!
S: Sorry, sorry, my bad
>These girls are clearly confused on unicorns
R: Girls, if I may be so bold as to ask you. What were you doing in the theater?
S: Ain't it obvious? We're gonna be stars on Broadway after this week's big performance
J: Well, maybe not stars. All the cameras in ya face all the time can be scary
>The more you speak with these girls, the more you are reminded of somep0ny
S: Come on, Janet, stop with all the butterflies
>Shirley nudges Jan playfully
J: Oh, well, I guess if you're with me that'd be a different story
S: Dat'a girl, now come on! We got more rehearsin' ta do! You'se two can come along and watch us if ya want
>Anon looks to you
R: I do so love stage production. You wouldn't mind, would you, Anon?
>Anon looks at you with a hint of boredom in his expression
A: Fine, if only because you're going to pout and make me feel bad anyways
>You clap your hooves together and smile widely
>To the stage tonight!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Day Diamond Encrusted Brooch on Earth
>Be Rarity
>The night has found you two new human friends to add to your ever growing repertoire of associates
>The girls, Janet and Shirley, are both entertaining and seem to have high energy for what they love
>It is the surest sign of talent you have ever seen and, had you not known better, you would swear their cutie mark would be in theater
>You find yourself in Janet's apartment this morning with Anonymous cooking as he so often does for you
>Shirley sits lazily at a small table set for four and grumbles about the wait
>Anon whistles a little tune before speaking to the pan in front of him
>"How do you like your eggs, Rarara?"
"I wish you wouldn't pronounce my name like that, Anon..."
>"So, over-easy?"
>You snort quickly before taking a seat and folding your napkin in your lap
"...Two pieces of wheat toast as well and a glass of orange juice, no pulp."
>Shirley watches you with a curiosity you have not seen since Anonymous
>"So, what's magic like?"
>You shrug lightly and flip your mane to one side
"Whatever do you mean, darling?"
>"Well, it's like... comin' outta your head and all. Does it hurt?"
"Not at all! Although it does get tiring if used excessively."
>A small voice perks up as Janet brings Anon a stack of plates
>"A unicorn, that's so fascinatin'. How did ya' meet this guy?"
"Anonymous? Oh, well, he sort of found us, actually. He fell out of the sky one day and landed right in Ponyville."
>Anonymous smiles and flips his spatula off the side of the stove before scooping some eggs onto a clean, blue plate
>"It's all true! Then I went on some hilarious adventure with a bunch of ponies who almost killed me on multiple occasions. Princess Celestia was most notably the craziest. She made me spend time with Twilight."
>You snicker a bit and remember when you discovered Anon's misfortune
"Twilight -is- a good friend, she just gets carried away when it comes to cataloging."
>"I liked Pinkie, at the very least. She only tried to force feed me cupcakes."
>You ruffle up your tail a bit as a hint of jealousy passes by you
>"Whoa, Princess? What's that about?"
>Shirley looks at you with raised eyebrows
"Oh, yes, we have two princesses who rule over the nation. Princess Celestia, who raises the sun each morning, and Princess Luna, who raises the moon each night. Do you have a princess here as well?"
>Janet looks to Shirley and shrugs
>"Nah, that junk's for the peep's in Britain. We got a president."
"What is a president?"
>"A blowhard that talks a lot of stuff and gets mixed results."
>You don't feel that answered your question, but you also can't be certain anything else Shirley says is going to make sense
>A polite nod is all you need to end this confusing conversation
>Janet carries three plates to the table with expert balancing skills
>She quickly lays them out on the table before sitting across from Shirley
>You look at the divine breakfast in front of you and smile
>Anonymous is so good with the little details that truly make a meal
"Are you going back to the stage tonight?"
>Janet smiles easily at you
>"Oh, yes, we still have a lot of rehearsing to do."
>Shirley speaks through a bite of her egg sandwich
>"Yeah, lots to do... haven't even finished... the costumes."
>She gulps loudly as she swallows and takes a drink of water quickly
>A bit uncouth, you think, but it seems vaguely comfortable to have a fast talking, fast acting friend around
>She could be Rainbow Dash... if Rainbow Dash was a human
>Anon finally takes a seat across from you and sets a very modest breakfast before himself
>You look to your own with a bit of doubt
"Anon, darling, would you like a piece of toast?"
>"No, thank you. Feel like egg whites this morning. Got to stay healthy, right?"
>Janet giggles a little to you and looks to Anon
>"So, Anonymous, how long were ya' in Equestria?"
>"Oh, uh, not sure. Probably a few years, although time seemed to work differently there. It moves faster than here, if I was able to properly deduce the calendar."
>You look at Anonymous with a bit of curiosity all your own
>Shirley snorts quickly through her water before sobering up
>"Man, that must'a been hard, right? Nothin' but ponies around ya'?"
>Janet is the first to catch on to what Shirley is implying
>"Now, Shirley, don't start that! I'm sure he..."
>"Are you implying I had sex with a pony?"
>Shirley spits a mouthful of water, followed by riotous laughter and Janet's face flushes white as her eyes sink into her head
>You are slightly surprised at the way Anon phrased himself, but only slightly
"Darling, this isn't proper breakfast talk..."
>Your tail seems to wrap itself a little tighter around your bottom as you think about your first few days on Earth with Anonymous
>Anon grins widely at the two girls on either side of him and poses to show off his muscle
>"Not to toot my own horn, but I had the undivided attention of quite a few ladies in Equestria."
"Anon..."
>"Like that minty green unicorn, what's her name again? Lyra, I think. Don't forget Berry! Could that one ever drink! Fluttershy probably gave me the most trouble though."
>He continues to flex and pose as he names off different mares and you are sure most of this is nothing short of male exaggeration
>By the time he finishes, Janet is hiding her red face beneath the tablecloth and Shirley is laying on the floor, gasping for breath
"I cannot take you anywhere, Anonymous! Honestly, must you be so... so... -you-?"
>Shirley springs up suddenly from the floor and slides back into her seat
>"Oh my gosh, you two are totally datin'!"
"What? No! Anonymous is just a friend!"
>"Yeah, ya' boyfriend!"
>Shirley mocks you lightly with her teeth held between her teeth
>"Rarity and I? I don't know, she has seen me naked before..."
>A fearful squeal rings from Janet as she looks you over
"I have not!"
>"Oh? Remember when you fixed my face?"
>You think back to that day and how hopeless you were
>His eyes were the most beautiful you had even seen and you shamefully let him rub your horn out like some lowly animal in heat
>Celestia knows what terrible perversions ran through your infatuated head that night
"Seeing your face is -not- seeing you naked! Besides, clothing isn't the norm in Ponyville!"
>You bang a hoof on the wooden table to the astonished silence of the three humans
>A feeling of unease over takes you as you feel a little more than outnumbered
>"Sorry, Rare-bear, I didn't mean to upset you like that..."
>The apology drifts around you for the moment and you look to Anon with optimistic eyes
>"I-it's not really somethin' we have to discuss."
>Janet gets up quickly and begins to gather the dirty dishes
>What an awkward morning this was turning out to be!
>You find your center and breathe easily as you return to your ladylike state
>The rest of the morning goes over well as the four of your get better acquainted and learn a bit more about each other
>Anonymous seems to be particularly silly in the presence of others and you wonder if this is normal for him
>He acted more mature around your pony friends, you think, but cannot say for certain
>The topic of the play comes up again and you add your thoughts into this
>"I am an accomplished seamstress in Ponyville and have thousands of designs under my hoof. It would be an honour to help you two create fabulous costumes for your show."
>Shirley rubs her chin in deep though before looking to Janet
>Janet is the first to answer you
>"If you can sew, well, that'd be fine by me. I mean, if it ain't too much trouble for ya', that is?"
"Of course not, darling! I -live- to create!"
>"Well, we got a lotta good stuff to work with already. Lets go by the theater and see what you can do."
>"In the daylight!? What if someone see's us?"
>Anon looks to you, but all you do is shrug
"Darling, other humans have taken to moi without effort."
>You bounce your mane in one hoof and twirl once for effect before looking up at him
>"You know... I think you have let your current fame get to your head. Not everyone is so nice."
>Shirley tuts her teeth as she slips a shoe over her foot
>"'Ey, love birds, lets get on track here!"
>You turn your nose up at the comment
>Sure, Anonymous is a nice guy and maybe he's a fairly decent dresser and perhaps he has always been rather nice to you
>These signs do not, however, point to Anon being your special somep0ny!
>Pushing aside these silly thoughts, you make your way out into the hall
>Janet and Shirley are the first to meet you with Anon taking up the rear
>You move casually through the empty building and wonder if other humans live behind each numbered door
"Are there a lot of people in this building? The building where Anonymous lives is nearly empty."
>"Nah, most people moved already. This place gets emptier everyday."
>Janet frowns a bit as she speaks before Anon chimes in
>"I don't know about you, but I am enjoying the plummeting price on rent."
>Shirley laughs quickly as she descends the staircase
>"Right up until these places get shut down and we're livin' on the streets."
>This ghastly talk of losing their homes does not seem to effect either of the three humans
>You could not imagine how awful it would be to lose your boutique and you certainly wouldn't speak so lightly of it
"What would you do if you have to leave your home?"
>Anonymous shrugs as he reaches for the door leading outside
>"Find a new apartment, I suppose? Maybe I would finally move to the city."
>Janet replies in kind and Shirley nods
>"It would be the best we got... but, we ain't got to worry about that tonight! After tonight, we'll be famous enough to buy our own place in the Hills. Won't we, Jan?"
>"Oh, yeah, that little cottage. Ya' think we'd finally be able to afford it?"
>Shirley holds Janet's hand with all the elegance you've come to expect from her and smiles widely
>"Bet my ass, we will!"
>You smirk at the strange expression and stare at the thin human's body
>Their hope and determination makes you feel like their struggle as you too have always longed for stardom under the bright lights of your own home
>You say to yourself that you will create the most exquisite costumes Earth, or Equestria for that matter, had ever beheld
>If anyone deserved a chance to be happy, it was these two good friends
>The trip to the theater is quick from this building and, in the daylight, you can see the world around you for the first time
>Metal contraptions line themselves along the sidewalk in different colours and you marvel at the shining reflections some give off
>Street lamps of various sizes and designs dot the sidewalks and even some buildings
>You walk with your head tilted back as to view the skyline until you feel something hard halt you
"Anonymous! What are you trying..."
>"It's bad enough you look like a pony. Must you look like a pony-tourist as well?"
"Well, I never!"
>Janet leans down a bit and speaks softly in your ear
>"I think he wanted to stop ya' from steppin' in that gum."
>You suddenly look down and panic around the sticky blob on the floor
>Celestia knows how hard gum is to get out of a gorgeous coat such as your own
>You look up to Anon, but he quickly walks on
>A smile parts your face as you think Anonymous is looking out for you, if not being a bit coy today
>He reaches for another door and opens it wide as the two girls and yourself step in
>The cackle of energy surges through the room as Anonymous flips the light switch and you quickly begin to take inventory
>You spy two human shaped mannequins and beam at the industrial sewing machine table
"Alright, girls, I hope you're ready for a lesson in fabulosity!"
>Janet giggles and Shirley shrugs
>"Just make sure we look cool."
"I can do better than that! But, first, if you wouldn't mind helping me with the smallest of favours..."
>Every person in the room helps you tidy up over the next half hour or so
>No way you could concentrate with dust getting in the way of your artistic vision
>Anonymous pats his hands out on his pants before nodding to you
>"How do I get myself into these things?"
"Because, darling, you are a true gentlecolt."
>Shirley takes a moment and grades your remark before snickering
>"Never heard that one before."
"Oh, my apologies, a gentle -man-?"
>"Implying I care if you use ponyisms on me."
>Your boisterous human friend laughs to herself
>"This guy's a riot! Who even talks like that?"
>No distraction, you think, there is much work to be done!
"Ladies, if I may. I need to take your measurements. Anonymous, please step outside."
>Anon grumbles to himself as he stomps from the room
>You smirk as you lift a tape measure into the end and feel it flex in your magic
"Now you shall witness the art of the dress!"
>The human girls look at you and then to each other with a hint of worry on their faces
>"I-is this gonna hurt?"
"Only if you don't cooperate, darling!"

>On a stoop outside of the theater
>Be Anonymous
>You hum a tune to yourself as you await the word to enter
>It seems weird to think you have to be outside while Rarity fits someone
>Ponies were usually not dressed in your presence to begin with!
>You contemplate taking a peak through the window to see if human flesh was as interesting if you remember
>No, you are a gentleman and a scholar
>Also, Rarity would absolutely murder you if you were caught
>A few people are finally roaming the street and you watch them as you so often do
>Look at them, just mindlessly wondering around like zombies
>Their slacked jawed stare in the outer abyss coupled with their staggering gait is just so very...
>Wait, that is just like a zombie!
>You stare at a few as they roam pass you and notice their eyes have an eerie greenish hue to them
"Excuse me, sir! A moment of your time."
>You stand to your feet as the shuffling man turns slowly in your direction
>He opens his mouth once with a gargling noise before he begins to hobble toward you
>"Lo~ve..."
>Well, if that didn't make your skin crawl, nothing would!
>It does not take long for your legs to get you back into the fitting room
>A marshmallow hoof presses up against your leg as you slam the door
>"Anon! Ladies are changing in here!"
"People are changing outside too!"
>"What?"
>A bang on the door startles you and you back up a bit
>The door opens outward, so no amount of pushing would be able to open it
>Another bang causes Janet to look up from under a frilly gown
>"Who's knocking?"
"The question is what is knocking... I think we have zombies, my friends."
>Shirley looks at you with a cocked brow
>"Zombies? Yeah, sure."
"I call it like I see it. We should wrap this up and consider escaping... now."
>Rarity looks you over before her face takes on serious appearance
>"Anon is telling the truth..."
>The girls look over to you quickly before Janet speaks with a wavering voice
>"W-what do ya' mean? Z-zombies aren't real, right?"
"Neither are unicorns, but one is making a dress for you as we speak. So, can we exit through the stairwell?"
>Shirley nods quickly as she works her light blue shirt back on
>"It'll put on right back on the streets, though. How many did ya' see?"
"A few, but that is not really comforting."
>The banging at the door slowly fades away as you hear foot steps shuffle away
>Everyone is silent as you await another noise
>You creep to the stairs and quietly climb to the top
>Everyone huddles in as you whisper to them
"I will step out first to see if we are clear. I'll wave you in when I am certain."
>You take a deep breath and reach for the door
>Today just got weird...