F1 Anon - Chapter 32

F1 Anon in Equestria - Chapter 32



http://www.fia.com/sites/default/files/styles/content_details/public/news/main_image/_r6t0827.jpg?itok=e7TTwczo

>"Hello and welcome to the post qualifying press conference from Ponyville Circuit. Joining us today, we have Spitfire of Wonderbolts Racing, Rainbow Dash from Cloudsdale Weather, Octavia from Bass Cannon Racing, Aloe of SPA Racing, Cloud Chaser from Hurricane Force. And finally, Blossomforth of Team Thunder."

>The drivers each nodded and waved while they were introduced to the crowd attending the conference.
>Now for the fun part, answering questions.

>"So, first question will go to Spitfire. It's looking like you've bounced back well from your crash in FP3 yesterday. Pole position, congratulations."
>"Thank you." Spitfire replies to the press announcer.
>"How were you able to bounce back so quickly after such a horrible accident? And do you think you'll be able to take the championship over Rainbow Dash from this position?"

>"Well if it wasn't for the Wonderbolts crew getting to work and tirelessly putting my car back together overnight, I wouldn't be on pole right now. They did a fantastic job rebuilding it and I was honestly surprised how well the chassis stayed intact after my roll. I do want to say this though."
>Spitfire looks to Rainbow sitting right next to her.
>"I want to let you know Rainbow that that was not your fault, it was mine. I was too ambitious and the track was too wet, so don't beat yourself up too bad over it."
>Rainbow nods to her saying "It's okay.".
>"As for beating you however..." Spitfire says slyly with a raised eyebrow.
>"Hey!" Rainbow interjects, causing a small wave of laughter to ring out from the press room.
>"All I can hope for is that Rainbow here stays in the back of the pack. If she finds her way to the top 3, even if I win, the championship is hers. But if everything works in my favor, I do believe I have a shot at becoming World Champion tomorrow."

>"Rainbow Dash? Response?"

>"Yeah I kinda had a little hiccup today, 8th place was not where I wanted to end up. But if you're thinking I'm just gonna stay back there the entire time, think again! I don't know if you saw me in the first practice session, but the time I set then was still faster than what Spitfire got on pole with today. There's no doubt I'm the fastest driver here! So you better look out Spitfire, I fully intend to keep my points lead tomorrow."

>"OOOooo. Fighting words from Rainbow Dash here. Thank you. Now, Octavia. How do you feel about the fact that many Formula One fans have given you the title of 'Fastest Musician in Equestria'?"

>"Well!" Octavia says, flattered. "This is the first I've heard of that honestly! Don't tell Vinyl."

---

>Way in the back of the conference room sits Soarin and yourself, watching this press conference from the last row of seats.
>No one else around you.
>Quite bored.

>"How long do these things usually last?" Soarin asks, quietly.
"About 40 minutes give or take."
>"Alright. Well, at least there's not anything else going on today."
"Speak for yourself."
>"Heh. Busy day for you guys, huh?"

>Autograph sessions, special meet ups, and a fucking commercial filming is what awaits you and Dash today. woo hoo hoo.
>Busy as SHIT.

>"I'm not surprised." Soarin says shrugging. "We're always that busy during our air show weekends. So I know how you feel."
"Yeah. I still need to see one of those. Haven't yet."
>"Well shit!" he says, throwing a hoof out in front of him. "Just come to the next one and we'll get you in VIP status, free."
"Seriously?"
>"Of course, after what you did for us last week? It's the least we could do."
"As long as Rainbow can tag along then yeah. I'll take you up on that offer."
>"Sure, shes in our reserves anyway. So that's no problem."

>Neat, free airshow. It's not gonna be anything like watching the loud F-18s of the Blue Angels, but it should still be pretty cool.

>"Speaking of Rainbow..."
"Yeah?" you say, raising an eyebrow.
>"What's with the uhhh, 'Sex, breakfast of champions' patch, on her suit? With the obviously human looking arm?"

>Here we go. Only a matter of time before that was noticed.

"Yeah, that thing. She wanted that shortly after I came back from the hospital after the last race."
>Soarin begins to sport a sly smile.
>"Ah. So the rumors I heard are true."
>Wait... what?
"Rumors? What rumors?"
>"What else? That you two are banging like rabbits. Gettin' biz-ay."

>Okay. How the fuck does this shit get out? Swear to cock.

>"Im curious" He says, putting a hoof to his chin. "What's she like?"
"Soarin, buddy, I don't know you like that." you say, crossing your arms.

>"Come on, the whole grid knows about you two. Can you at least give me one thing?"
"I'm not giving you ammo for your alone time later."
>"Do you even like, pull out?"
"Fuckin..."

>He just fucking ignored the shit out of you, didn't he?

>"You two being different species and all, I'd imagine you wouldn't have to even worry about that kinda thing."
"Soarin. Listen."

>Bastard is just looking at you with that fucking eyebrow raised and that goddamn smile. Piece of shit.
>Might as well just fucking tell em. He's obviously not gonna leave you alone about it.
>Leaning over in his direction as to not let anyone else hear what you're about to say, you look right at him.

"She doesn't let me."
>"Holy shit!" *cough*

>Going back to your normal sitting position, he continues after getting himself re-situated:
>"So, no worries about foals then I guess?"
"Nope. Chromosomes don't match up."
>"You lucky son of a gun."
"Yeah. You happy now?"
>"That's all I wanted to know really." Soarin says, looking up innocently and holding a forearm out.
"Good, cause that's all you're getting. Fucker."
>"Pretty sure the only 'fucker' here is you."

>Oh really now?

"Oh what? You and Spitfire don't have anything going on? That's surprising."
>"Well..." he says, looking up. "Occasionally. But not as much as before."
>Hellooooo.
"Are you guys in a relationship or is it just a 'friends with benefits' kinda deal?"
>"It's... weird. Were co-workers first, partners second. Ever since this Formula One thing started up its been nothing but business. Spitfire saw it as a good way to keep the Wonderbolts funds up, so this has been our main focus for the past four months. Not much has gone on other than training and driving."
>Interesting. Sounds efficient as hell. At the expense of a little fun that is. Poor guy.

"Well you guys are 1 and 2 tomorrow so that training seems to be paying off." you say shrugging.
>"Yeah. Cant wait till the season is over though, just so we can get back together for at least a little while. I've missed that fun and frisky side of her these past few months. You and Rainbow are making me a little envious, I have to admit."
"I would say sorry Soarin, but I never wanted this to get out as much as it has."
>"Why not?" Soarin says looking over to you. "Rainbow Dash is a fucking catch dude. Literally the only pegasus to perform a Sonic Rainboom in recent memory. I'd be singing at the top of a mountain if I were you."
>You roll your eyes.
"Well you're also a pony, so, I mean yeah. That makes sense."
>"Seriously? Dude, I've dated griffons and, hell, even a young dragon girl once. What you two have is normal as hell around here. Don't be ashamed of it."
>Shrugging, you reply:
"If you say so."

>Still doesn't help the fact that apparently the whole grid knows Rainbow and yourself are active as fuck.
>Again, it's just part of the territory being a world famous F1 driver. If you're seeing someone, people are gonna find out.
>If that someone happens to be another driver, The interest will just amplify. Guess that's what happened. Especially since you two are teammates.
>Oh well.

>"I mean hey." Soarin then continues. "If you're not that interested in her, there are MANY other stallions out there willing to take her off your hands."

>Fat chance of that shit ever happening. Not on your or Rainbow's watch.
"They can keep dreaming. She's mine. She'll tell you that herself too. Right before she beats the shit out of you."
>"Heh alright, just making sure." Soarin says. "Don't take what you've got for granted though. To have a girl like Rainbow Dash be infatuated with you like that? You are one lucky guy. Just remember that."


============


"And that concludes the Post-Qualifying Press Conference here at Ponyville Circuit. Good luck to all of you in tomorrows Grand Prix."

>With that, the television cameras are shut off and the rooms attendees begin to file out. You stand up and wave your arm to get Rainbows attention as she gets up from her seat.
>She sees you and waves back. Smiling, she heads over to your position from the front of the room.

>"Hey! I didn't know you were still here! I thought you fucked off and went home with Twilight." She says trotting up to you.
"Did you already forget that we have shit to do here later?" You say as you both exit the conference room and make way for the main facility exit.
>"Wha- Oooooohhhhh right. The autograph and commercial stuff."
"So you did forget." you say smiling at her.
>"Shut up. I remember now!"

>Heading down the sunlit hallway, Rainbow notices the two Wonderbolts drivers walking along together up ahead.

>"You know. I've always wondered if they ever got together. Like, as a couple."
"Yeah?"
>"They seem like they're perfect for one another. I dunno, I guess it's just my inner fangirl wishfully hoping for something saucy."

>Should you tell her?
...
>Yeah, you should tell her.

"They are, Rainbow, and they've done it before."
>"Wait are you serious?!" She says looking up to you, surprised. "How the hell do you even know?"
"Soarin sat beside me during the press conference over in the back. We had an extensive, and, quite revealing chat while you guys were answering questions."
>"How did you get him to tell you about something like that? Did you-?"
>Rainbow then gives this look:
http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/a/ac/Rainbow_Dash_annoyed_%22almost%22_S03E12.png/revision/latest?cb=20130210175347

>"You talked to him about us, didn't you."
"Well, to be fair, he asked first. Your little idea for that patch on your suit is mostly to blame. Miss 'subtle'."
>You tap the patch on Rainbow's suit just above her right foreleg. She then looks down at the patch, then looks straight ahead.

>"You know what? Because of me wearing this patch. I've found out that my two idols are having sexy fun times. I like wearing this now more than I did before."
"Of course you do." you say, rolling your eyes and smiling.
>"You gotta admit, those two make a hot couple."
"Yeah. Fucking fast couple too."
>"We're faster and you know it!" Rainbow says, playfully bumping into you.
"Heh. Right." you say in a disagreeing tone.
>"What?" She asks as you two exit the main facility and head over into the infield of the circuit.
"Not in our current state, we're not. I'm crippled and you had an existential crisis yesterday."
>"I didn't get that bad." She says, squinting up at you. "If anybody had an existential crisis it was you. Mr. 'Bite my arm so I know I actually exist here'."

"...Touche."

>"How's that arm by the way?" Rainbow asks.
"It's healing. You did quite a number on it, but it's not too bad."
>"Damn, didn't bite down hard enough then." She says kicking at the ground.
"I beg your fucking pardon?"
>"HA! Joking Anon. Jokes."
>You roll your eyes, exhaling in response.
"It's like you want me to kick your ass or something."
>"Eh. More like slap, bite, ravage. Stuff like that really."
>Fucking WOW.
"Good lord Dash." You say while laughing. "Put a filter on that mouth, we got kids in line for autographs over here. Look."
>A HUGE line of your fans are waiting in an organised roped off area behind the garage building. In front are a couple tables set underneath a blue canopy, that's where you two are supposed to be sitting.
>A loud cheer can be heard from the crowd just now. Seems like they've noticed the both of you walking towards them.

>Wait a fuck...
"Dash. Take the sex patch off." You whisper to Rainbow, trying not to move your lips too much.
>"What?" She whispers back.
"Take the goddamn sex patch off."
>"OH! shit." She says, grabing the patch and ripping it off her suit. Immediately stuffing it into a side pocket.
>"That was a close one!" Rainbow whispers to you.

>Just for occasions such as this, you had Rarity put velcro on the back of those patches when they were made.
>Because the last thing you need to hear is a tiny impressionable foal going "HEY MOM I WANT SEX FOR BREAKFAST."
>Yeah, nah. Fuck that.


==========


>The commercial filming wasn't exactly what you thought it was.
>As far as you knew, you were going to do some cheesy infomercial type deal with some fucking 'insert brand here' product.
>No, far from it. The track organizers didn't have anypony who could carry a camera into the air to film a flyby of the circuit.
>So guess what, Rainbow is flying around Ponyville Circuit Right now grabbing raw footage for a promo video. Which leaves you here, sitting outside the circuit on a bench, alone.
>And bored as FUCK.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbvpecmUMcw


>At least whenever shes done with that, you two can go home and prepare for the Grand Prix tomorrow.

>"Hey! Stud! Over here."

>Who the absolute fuck just called you that? That was not Rainbow's voice, and it better not have been who you think it was.
>After looking left toward the direction of the call, it's definitely who you thought it was. What the hell?

"May I help you Vinyl?" you say, leaning forward and resting your elbows on your legs.

>"Hey, yeah. Um." she says, walking up next to you. "What kind of music do you listen to? If you don't mind me asking?"
>You do mind, and you want to know why the hell shes asking.
>The look on her face makes this seem suspicious as shit. She's never approached you this cheery before. Or with a smile like the one shes displaying. 'Playful' would be the word.
>Might as well play along. Just to see where the fuck this decides to go.

"Eh, I'm open to most things. I do like a little electronic music here and there." You say, knowing that would get a reaction.
>"Oh really! Awesome!" Vinyl says, ears perking up.

>A faint aura of magic begins to emanate from her horn. Looks like shes grabbing for something.
>Out from behind her, she produces a ticket of some sort. After looking it over herself, she quickly presents it to you in front of your face.

>"I actually have a show tomorrow night. Way after the race, at a big venue just outside of Ponyville. You should come!"

>That's a VIP backstage pass right there, and there is only one. Why the hell does she want you to come to her show? By yourself?

"VIP access huh?" You say, taking the ticket from her magic. "You're just gonna give this to me?"
>"Yep."
"Wow, okay. Thanks! Um. How many of these have you sold even?"
>"I'm gonna be honest with you Anon. That's the only one I've got for this event."

>Ho-kay. Let's see. Pony who has been a straight up asshole to you and Rainbow, all of a sudden wants you as her only backstage VIP concert goer. For no clear discernible reason. What the fuck is going on?

"Alright. I'm gonna be honest with you." You say, pointing at her. "This is a little weird."
>"Yeah it is a little bit. Me just coming up out of nowhere and giving you something like that. But, think about it this way..."

>Vinyl slowly begins to walk closer, lowering her glasses to reveal those magenta eyes looking directly at you. Her hips swaying from side to side a little more than before.

>"I'm one of the hardest partying artists in Equestria, and you seem like you could use a night of fun. I wanna show you what a real party mare can do..." She says walking past you, her blue tail running along under your chin.

>...
>Did that just happen? Please say that didn't just happen. That just fucking happened, didn't it? Again, what the hell?
>As she walks away, she turns her head and says:

>"Doors open at seven. Hope to see you there. I'll be waiting~."

>Just before she rounds a corner, her tail moves-
>THAT WAS A FLASH! OF THINGS. YEP. YOU'VE SEEN HER... YEAH THAT. ALRIGHTY THEN.

>...

>So THAT just happened. What the FUCK.

>In your mildly shocked/confused state, you look back down to that... heh... "VIP" ticket in your hands.
>Fuck. Guessing if Vinyl cant beat Rainbow in the racing world, she thinks she can beat her when it comes to you.

>Fucking... No...

>Ok, for one. What kind of person would you be if you were all of a sudden unfaithful to the literal element of fucking loyalty?
>And two. Good christ the ego on that DJ. Did Vinyl honestly think you would just be all "Dur hurr okay!" after giving you this ticket?
>What does she think this is? Some kind of bad Formula 1 themed fan-fiction? Fuck that.
>And quite honestly, DJ bitch doesn't have a single thing on Rainbow that would make you leave her behind. No other mare does really. A girl as awesome, as fast, and as fun to be around as Dash is, is one of a kind. Irreplaceable.
>You would be an absolute imbecile to leave her for someone else. Especially someone like Vinyl.

>Anyway, sounds like Rainbow is done. You can hear something flying towards you.

>"Hey asshole! I'm done with that filming thing." Rainbow says after touching down next to you. "Kinda looking forward to how it came out."
"Hey cool and stuff but you're not gonna FUCKING believe what just happened right here."
>"Oh gosh. What'd I miss?" She states after giving out a laugh.
>All you do is hold out your hand showing Rainbow the ticket you received from Vinyl.

>"A ticket to Vinyl's show tomorrow? How did you even get one of those? That's been sold out for months!" She asks after looking it over.

"So basically Vinyl just walked over, handed me this, and told me that it was the only VIP ticket for this show of hers. Then proceeded to further tell me that I am in for a 'good time'-" You say making quotation fingers. "-If I show up."

>Ho boy. The look on Rainbow's face right now. That mouth is wide open and those eyes have flames shooting out of them.
"Seems like what you told her about me on Thursday put quite the impression on her."
>"Yeah? Well she can forget about THAT shit!"
>Rainbow then takes the ticket, rips it in half twice, throws it to the ground and stomps hard on it with her fore-hooves, leaving quite the dust cloud behind.

>"Fucking whore. Trying to steal you from me. Who the fuck does she think she is?!"
"'The hardest partying artist in Equestria'." You say, making more quotation movements.
>"Oh alright. She better put 'hardest CRASHING driver' on that fucking resume."
>Uh oh.
"Hey. You still have to win a championship tomorrow! Don't throw that shit away because of this."
>Rainbow just looks to you with a smile forming. A sinister expression coming from her eyes.
>"Oh I'm not gonna wreck her out. Shes gonna do that herself. All I need to do is apply the right amount of pressure at the right time. She doesn't do well when there is someone faster than her, behind her. And guess where I just happen to be."
>Uh huh.

"Right. Well make it quick. 53 laps goes by pretty fast here."
>"She won't even make it to DRS activation. Mark my words Anon. Nopony tries to steal something from me and gets away with it. That and I've had about enough of her bullshit for one season."

>Yeah, Vinyl will indeed be lucky of she even finishes tomorrow. With Rainbow's skills? She could even pressure you into the wall if she wanted to. This girl is fucking QUICK.

>You've never wished harm on another driver, but, seeing Scratch careen into a wall tomorrow might feel pretty good to watch. Especially if Rainbow causes it.
>What Vinyl did just now was pretty damn despicable. A good crash might just be what that pony needs to set her straight. We'll just have to see.



=============



Tomorrow. The first Equestrian Formula One Season draws to a close. Who will win? Who will lose? Whose day will end early? Only time will tell.

But, there is one thing that will be for certain. This race is going to be a firefight from start to finish.

Up next. The Ponyville Grand Prix.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6-1YtiRe8I