06/21/2018
So, here is the story.THIS IS ABOUT HUMAN INSENSITIVITY. I have to make this quick and do not have much energy to share as much as I want to, but I will definitely be writing a book about this. At approximately 12:30 p.m., after an interview for a job in Bothell, and experiencing a fair amount of PTSD and stress from being mistreated and abused on a temp job in which the boss lied about me and the agency did not back me up, believe me or help me, I was trying to relax and sit down. I had 2.00 left in my account, so I got a coffee and a burger. That is it...and soon, I will not have anything. Very soon.
However, I was just trying to decompress.
Then, a woman named "Ellen" who was in her 60's came over to me and I thought she was going to say something nice b/c she leaned down and got up really close in my face. The she said, "You are so fat, I hope you have health insurance honey." I said, "What, can you repeat that?" b/c I could not believe my ears.
Then, she said, "You are just so large that you need to get bariatric surgery." Now, most of you are probably shocked that I did not tell her to "Fuck off"...East Coaster that I am. However, I was in such shock and so emotionally fatigued and exhausted that I simply could not believe how emboldened this woman was. I feel like Trump emboldens hatemongers, racists, fat haters, woman haters, haters of anyone who is outside of the box, and it mystifies me. So, I just sat there. And then I sat, "You know, I could tell you where to go and what to go East Coast style, but I am too fatigued for that. So I suggest you back off." Then she ignored me and kept saying I need to check my insurance. Again, I am shocked at my OWN SELF b/c I cannot believe that I did not tell her to Fuck off, but I was stuck in a moment of not believing what was actually happening.
So I said, "Lady, I am not defined by my fat. I did not plan to be fat. I have fibromyalgia and there are reasons why I am not getting the surgery. Not everyone who is fat wants the surgery." NOW, UNDERSTAND: I was having a fibro flare up while AT this McDonald's, I also had a slower reaction time b/c I was trying to process what was happening. I could not believe it. She finally walked away.
I asked for a Manager. (People in the Northwest cannot seem to understand that when someone says Manager, they do not want the On Duty Supervisor.) So, at first I got a guy named Alan who just aid, "I am sorry", but it seemed like he did not fully believe me. So, I then realized that the other guy who got him lied to me and he was not the Manager. So, I finally got the Manager whose name was Anika. She DID seem to understand the gravity of the situation. She apologized. What I wanted to drill into them was: When SOMEONE IS THAT BLATANT AND they come up to you to say that to you, what they are REALLY SAYING IS "i feel uncomfortable with your fat/who you are/ what I think you are/what I think you represent, so I am going to discriminate against you." One could liken this kind of discrimination/fat shaming to someone going up to someone and saying, "I am uncomfortable with how (Hispanic, African American, Middle Eastern, Muslim...whatever) and I need you to do something to change that." That is basically it. THIS KIND OF SHIT AND INTOLERANCE HAS GOT TO STOP!!! This woman was doing mind control on me and was spewing extremely negative and evil energy.
I am angry and upset by the fact that after I told the Manager this, I did not get a free ANYTHING. She just listened and said she was sorry, which was a lot better than nothing, but you would think after all that, I would get a lot more respect than that and maybe a free meal.
It is not JUST ONE INCIDENT that jars and shakes me up. But it is the repeated OCCURRENCES THAT I MYSELF HAVE EXPERIENCED of being sexually harassed, physically assaulted, silenced and crucified by the Democratic Party as a powerful woman activist, sexually harassed and discriminated against for being Native American at H and R Block, and then again mistreated on my job at the luggage company as a temp, and then being silenced by the agency, and then this...which comes on the heels of having to cut my abusive sister out of my life though I do dearly love her b/c of her own toxicity, and of reaching and reaching and reaching for friends and not finding one good friend out here. I would give it up, but I think I have lived this long just to say fuck it to everything and to survive in spite of them. Wow. Being an empath and a psychic is quite hard. Brutal, in fact.