FUCKLORD

1.	Greetings Friends, Faculty, Family, uncles who probably weren’t invited but showed up anyways, and of course: the always fabulous Class of 2013.  Originally, there were a series of concepts that I actually wrote down here, that I figured would prove important to a valedictorian speech, indelible in your hearts and your minds. Friendship; love; staying true to yourself. But you guys have all heard that speech before, right?

2.	So here’s something even more boring and trashy – let’s go back to the past, to the start of our high school careers. When we walked into these hallowed halls, straight outta Phoenix, Southgate, Robron, and Compton, it was a different time. Our voices were three octaves higher, these majestic halls were like a maze, and some of us still wore sweatpants, socks, and Crocs? (or was I the only one) The idea of graduation wasn’t even a blip on the horizon. But hey, here we are: the Class of ’13.

3.	And yes, I would like to reiterate: We. Are. Graduating. We’re moving on to bigger things all across Canada. But we should all remember where we’re starting from, because no matter where we go, Timberline will still be right here. The buildings will still stand here steadfastly. Mrs. Davies will still be lecturing behind the podium, answering students’ questions with other questions. Mr. Lihou will still be patrolling these hallowed halls a hundred years from now sagely giving advice to students like a taller Yoda. Mr. Hrysio will still be trying to get off the illuminati watch list to avoid the same fates as Tupac, Biggie, and JFK. There will still be the scandals and the dramatic revelations for each future graduating class, like how we found out that our loved and adored Mr. Joyce isn’t actually a certified teacher, but really just a homeless guy who wanders into class and rambles to us every day. Seriously, if you hold up his degree to any light, you’ll see what I’m talking about. And, of course, the Timberline Prom will still never happen, under ANY circumstances. But most importantly, the Timberline spirit will still remain.

4.	I found out (to me at least) what the Timberline spirit was three years ago in Mr. Liesche’s class. To butcher what he put so eloquently: “It’s not only the importance of knowing how, but knowing why.” This isn’t just about knowing how to derive or why to integrate – it’s about finding meaning in everything you do in life and realizing the value and seizing every day to its fullest potential. Sure, some things seem really pointless. The only thing we were thinking of when we were barraged with test after test after test was, “How are we going to get through this?” Now that we’re done with high school, I’d like for us to consider why. We didn’t just take tests for all these years to simply graduate.  Rather, I’d like to think that all these tests and events were a way to teach us a lesson, one that can’t be learned in class. It’s that the key to success is more than just knowing how to succeed; it’s knowing why we failed.

5.	Everyone messes up before they do something right. Ghandi spent decades before he effectively combatted Britain’s grip on India, Bill Gates had hundreds of Windows prototypes before creating a functional Operating system, A$AP Rocky had to release dozens of mixtapes before anyone started paying attention to him. Thomas Edison failed hundreds of times trying to invent the lightbulb before he figured out it was far easier to steal the patent. It took hundreds of detentions to finally learn how to circumvent the attendance system. So yes, there was a point to us making all these mistakes in high school, to us slipping up, to us feeling like something was impossible and simply couldn’t be done. Timberline has taught us that only through the failed pursuit of our perceived ideal can we truly make progress and strive towards success. Failure is not fatal; it’s the courage to continue that counts. The fact that although we’ve all stumbled through our high school careers at one point or another, we’re still graduating, is proof enough that we’ve all learned this valuable lesson.



6.	I'm sure each and every one of you has someone whose help made a major difference in your life during times of adversity, and I implore you to make their importance in to you known. On a personal scale i`d like to thank my family, Mike G and the Boys, Vanessa, everyone who was a part of Cuba, the faculty, and everyone who was a part of geography 12. And a very personal thanks to my 5 year old son, Ben Swagg Juniour. Congratulations Timberline Graduates of Two Thousand and Thirteen, we made it. Also happy birthday Max Fairclough.