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CuppaCoffee

> Deveii: Troll Marifa in search of answers.

CuppaCoffee
Apr 22nd, 2013
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  1. [07:59] -- turbulentAnnihilator [TA] began pestering curatorialInsight [CI] at 07:59 --
  2. [07:59] TA: HEY, ASSHO[E!
  3. [08:00] TA: WHAT THE FUCK D]D YOU DO TO MY HUSKTOP!
  4. [08:00] TA: WHO ARE YOU, ADD]T]ONA[[Y? SO ] CAN FUCK]NG F]ND YOU AND BREAK YOUR CH]T]NOUS ENDOSKE[ETON ]NTO THOUSANDS OF T]NY FUCK]NG P]ECES!
  5. [08:00] CI: I w(o)uld h(o)pe that y(o)ur v(o)ciferati(o)n is quirk-related, and y(o)u are n(o)t simply screaming at me f(o)r s(o)mething which I simply have n(o)t d(o)ne.
  6. [08:01] TA: Voc]ferat]on!? Oh fuck r]ght off!
  7. [08:01] TA: Just say ]'M YE[[]NG AT YOU!
  8. [08:01] CI: I will d(o) n(o) such act (o)f f(o)rnicati(o)n.
  9. [08:02] TA: ]T'S FUCK. SAY FUCK W]TH ME! Not forn]f]cat]on because we're not over[y se[f-]ndu[gent p]eces of sh]t, but FUCK. The [east th]ng you cou[d do after W]P]NG my ENT]RE god damn []st of chumps and [ock]ng my fuck]ng husktop ]s to not use PO]NT[ESS HUGE WORDS!
  10. [08:05] CI: Y(o)u wish t(o) bicker with me ab(o)ut the size (o)f my v(o)cabulary? Wriggler, I am a crusht(o)dian. My w(o)rds are agel(o)ng.
  11. [08:06] CI: And such a thing is beside the fact.
  12. [08:06] CI: This fact being that I have d(o)ne n(o)thing t(o) the piece (o)f shit y(o)u call y(o)ur intelligence hub.
  13. [08:07] TA: ]'m te[[]ng you r]ght the fuck now, that sesqu]peda[]an [oquac]ousness of yours ]sn't god damn he[p]ng your fuck]ng cause of me not f]nd]ng you and s[]c]ng your b[ood pump ]n two.
  14. [08:07] CI: Y(o)u are welc(o)me t(o) try.
  15. [08:08] CI: Y(o)u will, naturally, fail.
  16. [08:08] CI: I d(o) n(o)t kn(o)w the cause (o)f these tr(o)ubles. I kn(o)w (o)nly that I als(o) have c(o)me acr(o)ss a strange virus which restricts my c(o)mmunicati(o)ns t(o) a small gr(o)up.
  17. [08:09] CI: I w(o)uld tell y(o)u h(o)w I came ab(o)ut it. Y(o)u w(o)uld n(o)t believe me.
  18. [08:09] TA: Hoofbeast sh]t! You're [y]ng to cover your ass!
  19. [08:10] CI: Y(o)u accuse me (o)f prevaricati(o)n?
  20. [08:10] TA: YES, ] AM FUCK]NG SAY]NG YOU ARE [Y]NG!
  21. [08:10] TA: NOT PREVAR]-GO TO HE[[, YOU'RE [Y]NG!
  22. [08:12] CI: Le(o) T(o)lstructi(o)n (o)nce said that anything is better than lies and deceit. I naturally t(o)(o)k such a thing t(o) heart. H(o)w, then, w(o)uld I lie t(o) y(o)u if I have already set such a thing in m(o)ti(o)n?
  23. [08:13] TA: Yes, c[ear[y you are fuck]ng ]ncapab[e of [y]ng after [ook]ng at what some assho[e sa]d a rea[[y [ong t]me ago. C[ear[y ] am an ]d]ot for EVER dar]ng to th]nk you cou[d []e! Damn, how d]d ] craw[ out of the tr]a[ caverns?
  24. [08:14] CI: I am uncertain. Perhaps y(o)u did n(o)t, and merely hid under a discarded bucket until a cust(o)dian t(o)(o)k pity (o)n y(o)ur shivering f(o)rm.
  25. [08:15] TA: HOW THE FUCK WOU[D A CUSTOD]AN GET ]NTO THE TR]A[ CAVERNS YOU FUCK]NG ]GNORAMUS!?
  26. [08:16] CI: Very carefully.
  27. [08:16] TA: ]F YOU'RE GO]NG TO ]NSU[T ME SARCAST]CA[[Y AT [EAST HAVE ]T MAKE FUCK]NG SENSE YOU DENSE CUSTOD]A[ FUCKER!
  28. [08:16] TA: DO ME TH]S ONE K]NDNESS, [EST ] BREAK MY SKU[[ AGA]NST TH]S WA[[!
  29. [08:17] CI: Why w(o)uld I d(o) such a thing? Y(o)ur anger (o)ver the inc(o)ngru(o)us detail is (o)f utm(o)st amusement t(o) me.
  30. [08:18] CI: But let us settle (o)urselves and cease such escapades.
  31. [08:18] TA: And your tota[ fuck]ng [ack of ]nte[[]gence ]n any regard for the proper god damn use of fuck]ng w]t ]s utter[y ]nfur]at]ng.
  32. [08:19] TA: And why the FUCK shou[d ] sett[e myse[f, exact[y? We've a[ready determ]ned ]'m go]ng to fuck]ng sp[]t you open.
  33. [08:20] CI: Yes, yes, we have established that y(o)ur w(o)rds are the w(o)rds (o)f an idi(o)t, full (o)f s(o)und and fury, signifying n(o)thing. S(o) similar t(o) the tale t(o)ld in Macabreth.
  34. [08:21] CI: But there are m(o)re imp(o)rtant things af(o)(o)t, my tempestu(o)us midbl(o)(o)d.
  35. [08:21] TA: P[ease, fuck]ng en[]ghten me before ] start fuck]ng track]ng you down. The more you ta[k, the better.
  36. [08:23] CI: Y(o)u needn't fuss, I'd be happy t(o) tell y(o)u (o)f my l(o)cati(o)n -- th(o)ugh I sh(o)uld h(o)pe y(o)u are prepared f(o)r the desert and its dues.
  37. [08:23] CI: This, h(o)wever, ign(o)res my p(o)int.,
  38. [08:23] CI: ((*.))
  39. [08:23] CI: Y(o)u were messaged by y(o)ur future self.
  40. [08:24] TA: Aha! ] knew you fuck]ng gave me that fuck]ng v]rus!
  41. [08:24] CI: Y(o)u kn(o)w n(o)thing.
  42. [08:24] TA: ] know as much as ] need to god damn know!
  43. [08:24] CI: Alm(o)st as little as I myself kn(o)w.
  44. [08:24] CI: My future self als(o) messaged me.
  45. [08:25] CI: There is a verificati(o)n meth(o)d which br(o)kes n(o) failure, and my future self used it.
  46. [08:25] TA: Uh huh. Uh huh.
  47. [08:25] TA: Rem]nd me of the part where ] start g]v]ng a sh]t.
  48. [08:25] TA: And a[so start be[]ev]ng you, that was the best part that never fuck]ng happened.
  49. [08:26] CI: I w(o)uld be happy t(o) sh(o)w y(o)u just why I am able t(o) exist in this barren nest (o)f undead if y(o)u w(o)uld prefer t(o) take the fight t(o) me.
  50. [08:26] CI: If y(o)u w(o)uld prefer n(o)t t(o) be a f(o)(o)l, perhaps y(o)u sh(o)uld use y(o)ur head.
  51. [08:27] CI: Whether (o)r n(o)t it was (o)ur future selves, we were sent a file and l(o)cked int(o) messaging (o)nly each (o)ther.
  52. [08:27] CI: This clearly means that we have been drafted t(o) s(o)mething t(o)gether.
  53. [08:27] TA: Yes, me k][[]ng every [ast fuck]ng assho[e on th]s []st. Th]s ]s the dest]ny ] was hatched for.
  54. [08:27] CI: Think (o)f it as (o)ne (o)f th(o)se military activities, if it puts y(o)ur mind at ease.
  55. [08:27] CI: The (o)nes which n(o) (o)ne tells y(o)u ab(o)ut until y(o)u're in the middle (o)f them.
  56. [08:28] TA: You mean the su]c]de m]ss]ons ]n wh]ch h]ghb[ood commanders try to get as many [owb[ooded d]v]s]ons k][[ed as poss]b[e to weaken the enemy defenses?
  57. [08:28] CI: There are many (o)thers.
  58. [08:28] CI: Perhaps y(o)u are n(o)t well-read (o)n such hist(o)ry.
  59. [08:29] CI: And yet, y(o)u bring a fair p(o)int t(o) this edificati(o)n slate.
  60. [08:29] CI: H(o)w d(o) y(o)u expect t(o) slay highbl(o)(o)ds?
  61. [08:29] CI: I c(o)unt three (o)f them here.
  62. [08:30] TA: ] dunno, just k]nda wa[k up to them and sw]ng at them a fuck]ng [ot? You rea[]ze k][[]ng th]ngs ]sn't hard, r]ght? ]'m sure ]t must be d]ff]cu[t for the fuck]ng moron]c, but fortunate[y that so far on[y cons]sts of you.
  63. [08:30] CI: Y(o)u must be quite is(o)lated.
  64. [08:30] CI: Even if y(o)u are able t(o) best them, despite y(o)ur inferi(o)r hue...
  65. [08:31] CI: ... d(o) y(o)u think y(o)u will n(o)t be penalised f(o)r such a thing?
  66. [08:31] TA: Here we fuck]ng go, adv]ce from the ]d]ot c[a]m]ng to []ve ]n the desert.
  67. [08:31] CI: (o)ne m(o)ment.
  68. [08:32] TA: And you're ]mp[y]ng ] fuck]ng g]ve a sh]t about pena[t]es. ] just want my god damn payback for what a[[ you fuckers d]d to my [ast husktop.
  69. [08:32] CI: Just (o)ne m(o)ment.
  70. [08:33] CI: I am trying t(o) pr(o)cess this inf(o)rmati(o)n y(o)u are giving me, because it seems as if y(o)u are saying y(o)u are a paran(o)id wretch with n(o) c(o)ncept (o)f c(o)nsequence, wh(o) d(o)es n(o)t believe that life in the desert is p(o)ssible.
  71. [08:34] CI: It simply isn't p(o)ssible.
  72. [08:34] CI: I am n(o)t capable (o)f giving a fuck ab(o)ut y(o)ur (o)pini(o)ns.
  73. [08:34] TA: Ho[y sh]t, here we go. ] tr]pped on the beast's ta][! [ook out, they fuck]ng th]nk the]r attempts at ]nsu[ts are ]n any fash]on worth [ook]ng at!
  74. [08:35] TA: P[ease, ]'ve seen vom]t that was better at be]ng ]nsu[t]ng.
  75. [08:35] TA: Wa]t, sh]t.
  76. [08:35] TA: ]'m sorry.
  77. [08:35] TA: The vom]t doesn't deserve to be compared to someone as worth[ess as you.
  78. [08:36] CI: Y(o)u're right. H(o)w terrible (o)f me.
  79. [08:36] CI: Let me make it up t(o) y(o)u.
  80. [08:36] CI: Tell me y(o)ur l(o)cati(o)n, and I will c(o)me t(o) y(o)u s(o) we may settle this with (o)ur weap(o)ns.
  81. [08:37] TA: Yes, ho[d on. My [ocat]on ]s ONE OF THE FUCK]NG M][[]ONS OF [AWNR]NGS THAT EX]ST ON A[TERN]A!
  82. [08:37] TA: ARE YOU A[WAYS TH]S FUCK]NG STUP]D!?
  83. [08:37] CI: C(o)(o)rdinates, please!
  84. [08:38] TA: [et me just wh]p out my fuck]ng astro[abe. Ho[d on, th]s m]ght take the rest of fuck]ng forever because why the FUCK wou[d ] know my [ong]tud]na[ coord]nates?!
  85. [08:38] CI: A pity.
  86. [08:39] CI: I supp(o)se I will have t(o) tell y(o)u h(o)w t(o) reach my library, then.
  87. [08:40] TA: A []brary. That's a [ot of k]nd[]ng, thank you for the fuck]ng he[p ]n erad]cat]ng you.
  88. [08:41] CI: Y(o)u kn(o)w (o)f M(o)unt Rive, I w(o)uld h(o)pe.
  89. [08:41] CI: In the Eastern Desert.
  90. [08:41] CI: G(o) there, and my athenium will bec(o)me apparent t(o) y(o)u.
  91. [08:41] CI: I will be waiting.
  92. [08:44] TA: You know, th]s A[MOST sounds []ke a trap. What cou[d poss]b[y fuck]ng go wrong by wander]ng over to YOUR h]ve ]n the m]dd[e of NOWHERE?.
  93. [08:44] CI: Y(o)u're welc(o)me t(o) give me directi(o)ns t(o) y(o)ur hive instead.
  94. [08:44] CI: Really, I'm being quite reas(o)nable here.
  95. [08:45] TA: Fuck]ng f]ne, but ] don't keep fuck]ng sh]t[oads of maps around here for a god damn reason. Now that you fuck]ng nuked my husktop ] can't even open my god damn browser!
  96. [08:45] CI: It was n(o)t I wh(o) destr(o)yed y(o)ur bel(o)ngings.
  97. [08:46] TA: You keep say]ng that but ] st][[ don't have any god damn reason to be[]eve you.
  98. [08:46] CI: Tell me, h(o)w w(o)uld I, wh(o) clearly d(o)es n(o)t live anywhere near s(o)ciety and theref(o)re y(o)ur (o)wn lawnring, destr(o)y y(o)ur huskt(o)p?
  99. [08:47] TA: The. V]rus. THE WHO[E FUCK]NG REASON ] STARTED YE[[]NG AT YOU ]N THE F]RST P[ACE YOU FUCK]NG ]MBEC][E!
  100. [08:48] CI: S(o) what y(o)u are saying is...
  101. [08:48] TA: You're an ass?
  102. [08:48] CI: Either y(o)u f(o)(o)lishly clicked up(o)n a link fr(o)m a s(o)urce y(o)u did n(o)t kn(o)w, (o)r I did n(o)thing t(o) y(o)u, and y(o)u are flailing wildly f(o)r n(o) reas(o)n but y(o)ur (o)wn self-embarrassment.
  103. [08:49] TA: ] d]dn't get a CHO]CE ]n the god damn matter! ]t fuck]ng got down[oaded automat]ca[[y!
  104. [08:50] CI: And when did I message y(o)u t(o) aut(o)matically transfuse a file int(o) y(o)ur bi(o)tech?
  105. [08:50] TA: []ke a coup[e god damn m]nutes ago! You were pos]ng as some dumbass vers]on of future me. Probab[y fuck]ng sta[ked me []ke a creeper to [earn my god damn tro[[tag and qu]rk.
  106. [08:51] CI: And h(o)w, may I ask...
  107. [08:51] CI: ... did I l(o)g int(o) y(o)ur acc(o)unt while y(o)u were already l(o)gged in, y(o)u incredible retard?!
  108. [08:51] TA: Uh, ]t's ca[[ed a fuck]ng A[TERNATE ACCOUNT? ]t's not []ke th]s p]ece of sh]t ]s some f[aw[ess system that can't be hacked!
  109. [08:52] TA: Ho[y sh]t are you dumb. ]f you're ug[y the who[e tr]fecta of 'reasons to k][[ you r]ght now' w][[ be comp[ete.
  110. [08:52] CI: And s(o) y(o)u are saying that s(o)meh(o)w I created an invisible character which all(o)wed me t(o) create an acc(o)unt which was functi(o)nally identical t(o) y(o)urs.
  111. [08:53] CI: Y(o)u are aware that this pr(o)gram d(o)es n(o)t all(o)w duplicate tr(o)lltags, (o)f c(o)urse.
  112. [08:53] CI: Y(o)u w(o)uld never accuse me (o)f such a thing with(o)ut kn(o)wing this.
  113. [08:53] CI: Surely.
  114. [08:53] TA: Hey, pan-fu[[-of-sh]t, ] a[ready sa]d ]t's easy to hack th]s th]ng, probab[y.
  115. [08:53] TA: Cou[d you use those th]ngs, on the front of your face?
  116. [08:54] TA: Yes those two S]GHT [OBES!
  117. [08:54] TA: THAT YOU USE TO FUCK]NG READ!
  118. [08:54] TA: READ MY E[ECTRON]C FOOD MASSAGERS: "YOU ARE AN ASSHO[E WHO FUCK]NG FUCKED MY COMPUTER AND ] W][[ K][[ YOU"
  119. [08:54] CI: Frankly, I see n(o) need t(o) read what y(o)u write. I can imagine a stunted mutant's gurglings, and it is functi(o)nally identical t(o) what y(o)u say.
  120. [08:55] TA: Oh good, then my assumpt]on that you're a[so deaf as we[[ as b[]nd was correct.
  121. [08:55] TA: The ug[y part s]mp[y HAS to be true too!
  122. [08:55] CI: C(o)me settle this with me face t(o) face. I will n(o)t t(o)lerate y(o)ur useless prattle any l(o)nger.
  123. [08:55] -- curatorialInsight [CI] ceased pestering turbulentAnnihilator [TA] at 08:55 --
  124.  
  125. [08:56] -- turbulentAnnihilator [TA] began pestering curatorialInsight [CI] at 08:56 --
  126. [08:56] TA: ]F YOU TH]NK FOR ONE FUCK]NG SECOND ] AM GO]NG TO COME TO YOU, YOU'RE EVEN DUMBER THAN ] THOUGHT.
  127. [08:56] TA: ] D]D NOT [OOK UP THESE FUCK]NG COORD]NATES TO BE ]GNORED, SO S]T DOWN AND READ.
  128. [08:56] CI: (o)h. S(o)mething just messaged me. Must have been the wind.
  129. [08:56] -- curatorialInsight [CI] ceased pestering turbulentAnnihilator [TA] at 08:56 --
  130.  
  131. [08:57] -- turbulentAnnihilator [TA] began pestering curatorialInsight [CI] at 08:57 --
  132. [08:57] TA: THAT'S ]T, YOU'RE DEADER THAN DEAD. ] AM GO]NG TO H]RE AN EXORC]ST AND HE W][[ FUCK]NG K][[ YOUR GHOST. THAT ]S HOW DEAD YOU'RE GO]NG TO BE
  133. [08:57] -- turbulentAnnihilator [TA] has sent COORDINATES-TO-AREA1.TXT to curatorialInsight [CI] --
  134. [08:58] TA: NOW
  135. [08:58] TA: FUCK
  136. [08:58] TA: OFF
  137. [08:58] -- turbulentAnnihilator [TA] ceased pestering curatorialInsight [CI] at 08:58 --
  138.  
  139. [08:59] -- curatorialInsight [CI] began pestering turbulentAnnihilator [TA] at 08:59 --
  140. [08:59] CI: (o)h, y(o)u will make a fine, fine additi(o)n...
  141. [09:00] CI: Heh heh heh...
  142. [09:00] TA: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!?
  143. [09:00] TA: FUCK OFF AWAY A[READY!
  144. [09:00] -- turbulentAnnihilator [TA] ceased pestering curatorialInsight [CI] at 09:00 --
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