Mar 9th, 2017
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  1. Here's a short dedicated to TiM
  2. >Wait, what?
  3. "resonance cascade scenario, like- like, the portal thingie?"
  4. >she looks you in the eyes.
  5. >"yeah! Sorry, doc- who knows that."
  7. >your shouting at derpy had slightly spooked her, but she was okay.
  9. >"that was it doc, I wasn't!"
  10. "what do you mean, what were you doing?"
  11. >…
  12. >"uhh, I was making breakfast"
  13. "BREAKFAST!"
  14. >HOW DID SHE…
  16. __
  17. >shift to droid.
  18. "magic anomalies?"
  19. >TI-33 looks at you coldly.
  20. >"yes, sir, anomalies, everywhere- nothing stable, except in this place, sir."
  21. >he pulls up a map, and points to a place on the map that has no cities, the land itself is called 'the undiscovered west'."
  22. >well, we have no choice but to see what exactly what this is.
  23. "it's gotta be discord, or some very force sensitive artifact."
  24. >you turn to your wing.
  25. "burn the backjets, GY-201, hold us in place, and prepare me a ship."
  26. >"rodger rodger!"
  27. >and with that, he starts pointing onto his holoscreen.
  28. ____
  29. Shift to WiK anon.
  30. >your eye auto adjusts to the screen.
  31. >you hit it a couple of times to cause the screen to brighten up a little.
  32. >you turn the dial to zoom in on the map.
  33. >a little blip, one on your research scanner, placed in the resource zone out west.
  34. >that area was rich in coal and titanium, but not in any magic anomalies.
  35. >this is a rich amount of magic, maybe a new element.
  36. >with any luck- it may be harness-able.
  38. >in a moment, a vehicle behind you fires up into a thunderous mumble- ready for going anywhere you want.
  39. >sitting in the back. It crows off to your command.
  40. ____
  41. Shift to LP - First write, fuck you LP for pulling a Duke Nukem Forever.
  42. "more of these? What do you, here, just show me.
  43. >Moondancer puts a map on your desk, pointing to a west-most point, with a dab of red ink on there.
  44. >"twilights getting horrible headaches- it seems somewhere out here; somewhere in this area."
  45. "why aren't you getting these same headaches?"
  46. >"lack of magic use, probably- it's been quite a bit since I've generated any magic."
  47. >that seems to make some sense.
  48. "pack up a bag, get me a train ticket, moonie, I'm gonna get to the bottom of this."
  49. >"but, anon, the train doesn't go there."
  50. "car?"
  51. >"nope."
  52. "you gotta be killing me"
  53. >cart?
  54. >"cart?"
  55. "you read my mind. Get some things put together-"
  56. >you think for a moment.
  57. "how long would that take?
  59. ___
  60. TsarAnon (TA, also to clarify this is cykablyatovia's future)
  61. "so, this is the resonance cascade?"
  62. >derpy darts her eyes between the hole in existence and you.
  63. >"yeah, doc- this is where I made those pancakes."
  64. >how does one- fuck it. You don't care.
  65. >sizing up the man sized portal, you throw the nearest thing through.
  66. >grabbing a muffin off of a nearby table, you throw it through.
  67. >almost immediately, four muffins are thrown back.
  68. "derpy, phone out for twilight- her assistant, and, err-, that's it, actually."
  69. >"righto, doc- you mind if I drop for a hotdog on the way?"
  70. "yeah, take the tram to /ck/ street"
  71. >"tram card?"
  73. "I'm pretty sure they'd recognize the commander in chief when they see it."
  74. >and with that, she's off.
  75. ___
  76. Droid anon (да, takes place in present time)
  77. >your ship docks on the place on the map, along with you about 1000 droids.
  78. >gotta have that personal protection, who knows what could have crashed here.
  79. >let it be known you were here before you got your ass handed to you by jedi master yoda
  80. >or is it yooku?
  81. "whatever" you say, turning to your 4th battalion
  83. "fan out, droids; get me the whereabouts on that thing!"
  84. >they silently break out into groups and start searching the area.
  85. ___
  86. WiKanon (CA or Cpunkanon) also, WiK feel free to call me out on my shit when it comes to inconsistencies in the augments
  87. >your vehicle lands near the node that was setup.
  88. >you grab 20 pounds of programmable matter, and put it into a bag.
  90. >looking around, and closing your real eye, you almost immediatley see the man sized ripple in the universe.
  91. >walking up to it, you peer on the strange thing.
  92. >this is definitely not an artifact.
  93. >but it is magic in nature.
  94. >your matter comes out of your satchel and manifests into a scanner.
  95. >it beeps a moment, and sends your brain a reading of 'chaotic magic'.
  96. >best guess, a portal to discords dimension.
  98. >suddenly- a muffin is blasted out of the portal and finds itself being caught by you.
  99. >you're not having it, so you throw the muffin back.
  100. >I guess all there is now is to walk in.
  101. >hope discord likes company
  102. ___
  103. Shift to LP
  104. "so, moonie, this is the area?"
  105. >"yeah, non' there's gotta be something around here"
  106. "twily, you mind using your magic to figure out where this anomaly is?"
  107. >undoing your mosin nagant from the cart you pull the strap over your shoulder and sit down in the grass.
  108. >this place is peaceful and looks like something could be done here.
  109. >birds are chirping, there's fruit on the trees, enough steel to make a locomotive or twenty and no monsters.
  110. >fuck the badlands- this place should've been the home of Nova Rohan.
  111. >"HERE!"
  112. >that was twilight shouting for you, better go get that shit done.
  113. >getting up, you grab an extra satchel of ammo and head out for the calling.
  114. "what do we have, twilight?"
  115. >"a portal of sorts. Its chaotic in nature- must be discord's doing."
  117. >suddenly, a muffin is thrown out of the portal, and is caught by twilight.
  118. >you're not having this bullshit, and you throw the muffin back through the portal.
  119. >you know what's about to happen.
  120. "im going in."
  121. >"NO WAI-"
  122. >and with that, you step through the portal
  123. ___
  124. Droid
  125. >standing before the ripple in time, you know what's about to happen.
  127. >and with that, they form a single file line behind you.
  128. You step into the portal
  130. ____
  131. "derpy, I have no idea how you could possibl-"
  132. >suddenly, a man appears through the portal, with a Russian built rifle over his shoulder.
  133. >he looks around the tile 1970s esque kitchen, perches down in a startled stance, and without even noticing derpy he speaks.
  134. >"am I in earth!?"
  135. "no- uh- this is equestria. I'm sorry you had to end up in this place- this place is unlike earth-"
  136. >you're speaking with broken thoughts.
  137. >"oh… so, I must've tele--- wooohaohay! Your human, I'm supposed to be the only human!"
  138. >he eases himself, and looks down.
  139. >calmly, he speaks.
  140. >"oh, hey mailmare."
  141. >DP "hiya anon!"
  142. >LP "oh, wow you're really yorkian!"
  143. >she cocks her head.
  144. >"am I in the middle of a magic thing?"
  145. >you think of a way to explain to this anon how he got here.
  146. "so- you play the first half life game?"
  147. >"yeah, obviously."
  148. "that- but- instead of trying to analyze something…. Derpy… made breakfast."
  149. >LP "that's got to be some kind of record."
  150. "yeah, probably- here. I'm Tsar Anon the Inventive; let me show you around Cykablyatovia. The princesses best and foremost technologically advanced colony."
  151. __
  152. >LP "you mean; wait- where is this place? Is this the valley of abundance?"
  153. "no, this is Cykablyatovia- in the undiscovered west."
  154. >LP "must be time travel then. I'm from the past probably- I was a human that was placed here~ and when I told twilight that we had sky scrapers, she wasn't having it.
  155. >twilight
  156. "no- this has to be a dimensional thing- because, twilight sparkle and her assistant are on her way here now."
  157. >LP "Woah, strange."
  158. >as your walking out the door. Another man walks through the portal- this anon seems to be a little more silvery than the two present.
  161. >he pauses, and looks at us- he eye's the Mosin over the other anon's shoulder, and two plasma blades manifests from his arms.
  162. >you pull your 9mm and point it.
  163. >"you notice what you're doing, realize that this is pointless, and put down your weapons."
  164. "oh, hey pinkie." you say, turing to pinkie pie
  165. >you and the other anon put away their weapons almost instantly.
  166. >"Im pinkie pie! Im sure you're from a strange alternate universe! And I'm glad that you could make it to our little hobble of a universe!"
  167. "how flattering. Let's show you guy's the city.
  168. >the other anon hasn't even said a word, and you guys walk out the door and start a tour around Cykablyatovia
  169. ___
  170. >you point to your left
  171. "that's the /mu/ district, that's where we get our albums, most of them from earth, my favorite is that shop there."
  172. >you do a half step pointing to the shop that sells all the classic rock albums from the 60s
  173. >the anon with the rifle winces at the suggestion of earth.
  174. >probably from earth.
  175. >he's going to shit himself when you tell him that there's a portal to earth here.
  177. >you continue your tour.
  178. "club penguin is in the /b/ district, over there."
  179. >LP "this is a pretty big city."
  180. "for you."
  181. >you instantly snap back.
  182. >LP "so you're an ebin shitposter, eh?"
  183. "yeah, what about it?"
  184. >he just smiles.
  185. "I wanna go see the new model of Kalashnikov, so I'm going to the /k/ district."
  186. >you take a button off of your cardigan, its quite hot outside.
  187. >or is that the /k/ district working full speed ahead?
  188. >you heard that some ponies shave their fur because of how hot it is in the factories here.
  189. >gotta get some regulations on that ASAP.
  190. "so, we manufacture our weapon's of war enhouse, from our 20mm shells to our 500 kiloton nukes."
  191. >LP "FUCKING WHAT!"
  192. "yeah, magically synthesized matter, took a solid 3000 uni's to get a kilo of that- thank god I got the support of the princesses."
  193. >LP "what the- jesus christ man. I hope you don't have full power over where those bombs drop."
  194. "they're not bombs, anon- they're missiles"
  195. >CA "missles!"
  196. "He speaks! Im tsar anon the inventor, nice to meet you!"
  197. >you check your watch
  198. "we must cut this short. We can listen to abbey road and my nuclear program later. We must meet twilight and her assistant at the train station!"
  199. ___
  200. >through the gate, you take a electronically powered cart to the train station.
  201. >twilight is sitting outside and next to her is her assistant Moondancer.
  202. >LP "I- holy shit; this /is/ definitely a parallel universe, that's my wife from the other universe."
  203. >he points at moon dancer
  204. "that's gotta be trippy as hell to see."
  205. >LP "you're telling me."
  207. "Twilight! Welcome back! We, erm- have a problem!"
  208. >TS "yeah, I know- its pretty obvious that Cyka is under attack."
  209. "wait, what"
  210. >you turn around.
  211. >there's smoke and gunfire, and dark green lasers coming from the city square.
  213. >you and the other two anons and twilight say nearly at the same time.
  214. "Changelings."
  215. >you run towards the gate to the country.
  216. >you push in the override, and you're let back into cykablyatovia.
  217. >but your visit is short lived- as you see a group of battle droids from those god awful star-wars prequels back in the early two thousands.
  218. >you turn to the other anons to try to explain the situation.
  220. "uhh. Hey, you ever seen star wars, by chance?"
  221. >LP "only the prequels"
  222. >you almost slap him.
  223. "that's oddly helpful. There's battledroids attacking the city."
  224. >LP "wait, what?"
  225. "yeah~ we're getting closer and closer to half life by the moment!"
  226. ___
  227. >you turn and look at twilight and moondancer.
  228. >you throw your hands out to the side
  230. "welp… To the stock-house!"
  231. >you guys get on the train and head towards the south cykan military base.
  232. >on the train- you get a good look at the silent anon.
  233. >he looks like he's wearing colored contacts, and he has a satchel of black matter.
  235. >you just had an epiphany.
  236. "are you a cyborg?"
  237. >he looks at you, his eyes visibly focusing.
  238. >CA "a bit."
  239. >you think about the situation at hand. And you look back at him.
  240. "that's really helpful, actually, what can you do?"
  241. >CA "muscles, eyes, and communication with computer based technology, and some programmable matter."
  242. "sweet."
  243. >you pick up your cell phone.
  244. >LP "how do you have cell phones?"
  245. "magically synthesized silicon processors based off of human text books."
  246. >LP "sellout."
  247. "your loss."
  248. >you turn to speed dial, you sent Derpy off to the south compound shortly after you guys left to go see Cykablyatovia.
  250. >DP "yeah, tsar!"
  251. "we need video feed on head entity of the invading force. Move all troops out of city- give it to them. Switch to explosives rounds; oh, and try an EMP- see what that does… can I get some chai tea on arrival by the way?"
  252. >DP "yeah, no problem, video feed will be provided on arrival!"
  253. "thanks Derpy."
  254. >LP "you're really efficient… what were you back on earth?"
  255. "starving grad student."
  256. ___
  257. >you get to the station, and you're provided with some chai, some ice cream- chilled the old fashioned way.
  258. >you're led to a room full of screens. And you all sit down to watch footage, football team style.
  261. >LP "wow, he's like if a ruskie became a sith."
  262. "yeah, and he's using a blaster."
  263. >CA "maybe he was a captain or something- that would explain the regalia."
  264. "probably."
  265. >you watch the destruction of the green square to the sound of Abbey Road.
  266. "wait, wait wait right there for a second."
  267. >DP "yeah?"
  268. "zoom in on that arm-band!"
  269. >she complies, and zooms in.
  270. >a pixelated Pic Related shows up.
  271. >TS "I know what that is! That's - that's trixie's cutie mark!"
  272. >one of the anons looks at you, and smiles slyly.
  273. >LP "hey, maybe… we found his wife from his dimension."
  274. "well. Where does she live?"
  275. >TS "everywhere, mostly."
  276. "hey, derpy, what do you know abo-"
  277. >DP "Shes got a show in ponyville tonight! Can I go?!"
  278. "uh, yeah- yeah we can go."
  279. "hope the pony likes to play hostage."
  280. >LP "that's really stalin of you, I hope you at least ask…"
  281. "y-yeah, of course- let's go."
  282. ___
  283. >the train to ponyville was uneventful, sans your country being overwhelmed by beige CGI looking motherfuckers.
  284. >you recently dropped the needle on your copy of Sgt. Pepper's lonely hearts club band, and you're doing pretty groovy despite the invasion.
  286. >TS "okay, this is the place- her caravan is right over yonder."
  287. >you break the silence
  288. "do we need to bag her or is bribing-"
  289. >LP "ANON! jesus!"
  290. "fine, fine."
  291. >you all walk to the caravan and look around for the pony in question.
  292. >after a bit of sitting around, she comes from town holding a basket.
  295. >you jump up.
  296. "Ah! Hello, trixie! I'm tsar anon-"
  297. >TX "tsar anon the inventive, I know- I've heard much about you, are you here for my show!?"
  298. >she starts darting her eyes around, rushing to pick up what looks like a pinecone and a couple of glass cups and some a couple of odds and ends as well, off of the floor.
  299. >TX "I'll make dinner fit for royalty- stay right there!"
  300. >wow, she really likes you. I hope this is as easy as you think this is going to be.
  301. "Would you like to help us free Cykablyatovia from an invasion?"
  302. >she pokes her head out and looks at you, her hat is off now.
  303. >TX "say what?"
  304. "I'll fill you in if you help me." you say, waving your hand around.
  305. ___
  306. >Trixie looks around at the caravan of un-setup props and stages.
  307. >TX "I have a show to run, I don't think I can help anyway."
  308. "I can pay you enough money to retire happily at what, 25? How old to ponies get anyway?"
  309. >TX "im 30."
  310. "riiight, and im royalty, wait- uhh, disregard that."
  311. >TX "I really need to get back to this, but; you're welcome for dinner if you like pine!"
  312. "naw, I'm good. Okay get the bag."
  313. >the all look at you.
  314. "kidding!"
  315. >you look back at her.
  316. "literally hundreds of pounds of bits"
  317. >you two go back and fourth like this for a while before she breaks down and comes on the train.
  318. >TX "A HOSTAGE!"
  319. "an actor!"
  321. "it's fake!"
  322. >Daft Punk's Random Access Memories aren't going to make this train ride any more groovy.
  323. ___
  324. >a couple of hours later you are nearing the cykan border.
  325. >its about seven o'clock right now and the dusk is beginning to take hold.
  326. >along with that is a brisk northern wind coming from the crystal empire.
  327. >you're cardigan wasn't doing anything for you so you put on a nice bomber jacket and walk out of the train.
  328. "hey, derpy, drop the needle on the rolling stones' 'symphony for the devil' and turn the external speakers all the way up, when I give cue."
  329. >LP "you have external speakers, why?"
  330. >Derpy ends this conversation before it begins by loudly announcing-
  331. >DP "Yes sir!"
  332. >she scurries off to find the nearest copy of the thing.
  333. "okay, trixie, we're going to need you now."
  334. >trixie starts to protest, but decides that its best that she stay quiet for this.
  335. >she must see the dollar signs in this.
  336. >she walks over to you, finishing her complementary imported oatmeal on the way over.
  337. >you pull out your 9mm and fire off a shot.
  338. >the droids mumbling around the gate starts firing blasters at you, but twilight puts up a barrier around the group.
  339. >the lasers harmlessly bounce away.
  340. >they keep firing until they realize that their efforts are futile and put their weapons down, and instead call for their commander.
  341. >good, all to plan so far.
  342. >the man in the Russian trench coat with that gnarly-ass collar comes out the gate, slapping around the droids as he passes.
  343. "hey, twilight, you feel any power coming from him?"
  344. >TS "yeah, a bit, but I wouldn't thi-"
  345. "son of a bitch we've got a sith."
  346. >LP "son of a bitch indeed."
  347. "hey, Cyborg, can you mimic things with that matter? It's programmable, right?"
  348. >CA "yeah, it is, what do you"
  349. "make me a lightsaber, look at that tube around his waist, and copy it."
  350. >CA "give me a moment."
  351. ___
  352. >he starts fucking around with the matter, it molding into a couple of shapes.
  353. >you look back, and he's still bitching at the droids, a couple of droidekas come out of the gate, and he points at you and the group.
  354. >they start firing with some real crazy precision, before he actually looks over.
  355. >you could feel his heart sink.
  356. >you and the other anon had rifles to her head.
  357. >instead of telling the droidekas to stop, he pushes them out of the way with the force, and uses his red lightsaber to saw them in half, with aggression you can only describe as desperate.
  358. >booya, baby!
  359. >LP "oh shit, he's coming right for us!"
  360. >CA "here, this should work."
  361. >he hands you a nondescript tube with a button on it.
  362. >at a push, it fires open into a white beam of light ending in about 3 feet.
  363. >it's basic, but it'll work, hopefully.
  364. >okay, now, the sith.
  365. >you put on your best dominating voice you can muster, and shout at intimidating as possible.
  366. >let's pull a Tsar, shall we?
  370. >DA " I WILL FU-"
  371. >you grab trixies hair and pull on it, pressing the handgun to her eye.
  373. >DA "YOU WOULDN'T"
  375. >you fire off a shot in-between her hooves, and she starts screaming, tears are streaming down her face and onto the floor, the other people in the group are noticeably uncomfortable.
  377. >you fire off another shot. She announces that she wants her mommy.
  379. >he looks furious, he puts up his hand to try and force choke you, but nothing happens.
  380. >you start laughing, you put on the most crazy look you can muster and look back.
  382. ____
  383. >you're speechless.
  384. >you're staring down a man in a bomber jacket holding a slugger to your love.
  385. >you know your choices, either let this one opportunity for her to be in your life slip.
  386. >or give up the most technologically sound, and rich city in equestria.
  387. >you know your real choice.
  388. >okay- lets mad lib this.
  389. >you turn towards your droids.
  390. "self destruct. Override 7…2…6…7-a."
  391. >"roger roger!"
  392. >you hear a bunch of droids hit the ground.
  393. >you look up to the captors.
  394. "LET HER GO!"
  395. >he lets her go, and pushes her towards you, through the force-field.
  396. >she just runs to the side, safe from anything beside a nuke
  397. >she's far too panicked to do anything else.
  398. >okay, phase two.
  399. "UP!"
  400. >you wave your hand in a circle
  401. >immediately all the droids around you come out of low power mode.
  402. >the start shooting, droidekas, super battle droids, and four royal guards, all coming out of the gate. Pouring by the hundreds.
  403. >soon your entire 107th is in this field.
  404. ___
  405. >well, that didn't work
  406. >should've been more specific.
  407. >so much for diplomacy
  408. "Okay! Plan B!"
  409. >you go to your comms.
  410. "pull up, try that EMP right about now. Actually, belay that for about a mome'."
  411. >you turn to your cyborg friend.
  412. "you shielded from EMPs"
  413. >CA "kinda."
  414. "good enough!"
  415. >you go back to your comms.
  416. "pop that EMP, tell the cykans to switch to analog."
  417. >"yessir!"
  418. >okay
  419. >soon enough, four M1 Abrams tanks pull up.
  420. >a couple of years ago, back when you still weren’t a super-power, you went to earth.
  421. >first thing you grabbed, of course, is the leaked schematics for the M1 abrams.
  422. >things crazy, but turning it to analog was no fun.
  423. >literally a computer operated tank made analog.
  424. >you see the grass turn up straight, and you get goose bumps.
  425. >there goes the EMP.
  426. >you turn to see if the droids have electromagnetic shielding.
  427. >probably, worth a sho- never mind.
  429. >all the normal battle droids fall limp.
  430. >all the droidekas shields turn off.
  431. >all the super battle droids are unfazed.
  432. >you're overjoyed at seeing the odds wane a bit.
  433. "WOOH! OKAY, GUYS!"
  434. "I hope Derpy's done her job."
  435. >you turn on the comm, hoping not to talk to an empty line.
  436. "lets get those shells firing! Our coords are-"
  437. >you turn to the cyborg.
  438. "tell them our coordinates."
  439. >the cyborg spits off some numbers immediately.
  440. "so, danger close on that area, otherwise shell the fuck out of them, lets get the motherland back, and in time for tea, please."
  441. >you notice twilight's struggle keeping the shield up from all these bolts.
  442. "lets get out of here."
  443. >you turn and run behind the train, then over the hill.
  444. >moment of truth.
  445. >…
  446. >…
  447. >LP gasps at what he sees.
  448. >Fuck yeah! That's the entire 106th, the 767th, ooh! That's the naval devision! That's the minutemen from cyka!
  449. >even parts of the Canterlot division was able to get here.
  450. >they must've just ran here.
  451. >thousands of ponies standing stout, with guns strapped to their backs, barrels jutting forward.
  452. "the unicorns get human looking weapons, if you're wondering."
  453. >LP "h-holy shit, anon."
  454. "yeah, I like my protection."
  455. >you said 'a lot of guns'
  456. >you meant what you meant.
  457. >they have no armour, and the vehicles are kinda slow. But hey, blasters are entirley semi-auto, at least, the droids are.
  458. >and these klashnikovs have explosive ammo every third shot, armour piercing every other two.
  459. >the 20mm machine artillery start firing, and the NPAD fly in.
  460. >the NPAD stands for "Non-Pegasus Air division"
  461. >two bombers roar over you, with quad propellers, with the wonderbolt trained PAD falling out of them instead of bombs, armed with heavy machine guns.
  462. >little more accurate, you assume.
  463. >okay, pep talk!
  464. "can we get a loudspeaker here, cyborg?"
  465. >he commands some of that sweet matter over to you, and it becomes a booming amplifyer.
  467. >you stick your hands out.
  469. >the all roar 'NO!'
  471. >you wait for a moment. And you make the sign for 'go'
  472. >Derpy approaches you, and hands you an earpiece so you can listen in on overwatch.
  473. >"Be advised, heavy artillery in the area, do not begin until the cannons go dry, eta on that- 5 minutes."
  474. >"PAD division go ahead and go, stay levi- 100 Mlegs. Use A-Ps, over."
  475. > you watch ass 70 blue suited wonderbolt recriuts fall out of the overhead bomber, they fly in formation, firing their machineguns at nobody in particular.
  476. ___
  477. Five minutes of hard shelling later, they run out of ammo.
  478. >the tanks so far haven't been firing, instead, they've ben locked up inside their depleted uranium shells.
  479. >the droids have just been standing around heating up the exterior, and, as it seems, they've forgotten plasma is not very armor piercing.
  480. >they succeeded in making the tank internals hot as hell, though.
  481. >thank god for unicorns. They're all able to shield the ponies, it seems.
  482. >and it seems the heat shielding is pretty solid.
  483. "okay, derpy; lets throw number 67 on the needle, track 5, please."
  484. >she flies back to the station area, hastily throwing the vinyl down.
  485. >you go to the comms, but Overwatch has your back.
  486. >"be advised, shelling is over, scouts reporting nearly 100 EKIAs. Green for moving in."
  487. >"Danger close, Popping second EMP."
  488. >"PAD please acknowledge, you are green for low sweeps; keep eye, this is a mixed battle, Spitfire, know your enemy."
  489. >Spitfire comes over the comms. Announcing exactly how green she is.
  491. >the ponies start going full force.
  492. >the tanks fire up, and the ponies shoot off the droids trying to destroy something that the US has yet to be able to destroy.
  493. >its like these things are made by nokia. Like damn
  494. >you note that the super battle droids are pretty fallible when faced with uranium bullets
  495. >you note that these droids are really quantity over quality.
  496. "hell yeah! A-Ps are success!"
  497. ____
  498. >Half an hour later, the battle is over.
  499. >four hundred bots and about 300 ponies lay dead on the ground.
  500. >no tanks were destroyed. And you've won.
  501. >they're trying to take the sith alive, but he's swinging his blade around, making the army back off a couple of feet.
  502. >overwatch told them to cease fire, due to your command.
  503. >you walk up, pulling out the tube given to you earlier by the cyborg.
  504. >hopefully this isn't a flash light.
  505. >you draw, and do your best 'your dead, kiddo' look.
  506. >He pulls up his blade, aiming it at you.
  507. >really, not giving up?
  508. ____
  509. >whatever, lets see if he's as good as someone who learned sword-play in high school
  510. >you're team cap back during junior year.
  511. >you were deadly.
  512. >hopefully you're a deulist too.
  513. >and, if you arent, he gets shot on your command.
  514. >whatever, you've won- lets have some fun.
  515. >you turn to derpy who's been DJ-ing for the last half hour.
  516. "okay, lets get symphony for the devil, rolling stones! Vinyl 23-a!"
  517. >…
  519. >this isn't-
  520. >oh whatever, this works
  521. >He tries to stab first off.
  522. >tsk. tsk.
  523. >you dart backwards and parry his blade, noting how light this thing actually is.
  524. >your LARP style was always reminiscent of a dance.
  525. >plus there was that one summer you learned how to do all the moves from the original dark souls.
  526. >nobody ever sees it coming when you start rolling.
  527. >he tries a downward swing.
  528. >you roll left, and get back up, swinging at the neck.
  529. >he blocks, he goes for the legs, you dive backwards and do a trick strike.
  530. >you swing for the head, but as he goes to block it, you switch to a chest strike
  531. >its barely blocked, and leaves a sear on his coat.
  532. >he tried to push you back, but he cant, because you reflexively swing for his left hand, and chop it off at the forearm.
  533. "OH SHIT! Sorry dude."
  534. >Then you dive in for a stab, but it doesn't connect, he dodges to the side.
  535. >he pauses.
  536. >he grasps his hand where it used to be, shouting loudly.
  537. >he looks back up, and continues.
  538. >he swings for your chest, and you dive backward.
  539. >you don't complete your roll.
  540. >he gets over you, and you roll to the side, it clashes with your right arm, marking a sear on your jacket.
  541. >the track changes.
  543. >this has to be a mixtape, you note.
  544. >you stand up, and start swinging quickly and inconcisley, moving his blade out of the way of blocking his chest.
  545. >he's stepping back in order to not be hit with your blade.
  546. >he hits the back of the crowd, and he is pushed back into the circle
  547. >he tries swinging at your face, but it gets blocked, and his blade connects with his left eye
  548. >his stub goes up to his face, trying to grab it.
  549. >he swings again
  550. >he tries blocking, but he's pushed by a pony, making him stumble.
  551. >he's starting to get heckled from the ponies around him
  552. >you note a tear coming from his right side as a reflex to the connection on his left.
  553. >he tries one last swing at your chest.
  554. >reflexively, your blade clashes with his and you kick his leg out from under him.
  555. >he falls to the floor, and he is struggling to get back up.
  556. >he starts scooting backward.
  557. "this is over, stop doing this to yourself!"
  558. >he tries another swing, but it falls short when you dig the end of the blade into his knee.
  559. >he screams, grabbing at his knee, and dropping the sabre.
  560. >sadly, her forgets what's dug into it, and grabs the sabre instead.
  561. >ouch
  562. >you roughly pull your blade out of his knee
  563. >you bring your blade to his face.
  564. >you pick up his blade, and throw it at the cyborg, whom is easialy spotted in the sea of 3ft tall ponies.
  565. >he catches it.
  566. >he tries to kick you, but his leg instead cuts itself in half down the middle on the saber.
  567. >you then cut off the useless limb.
  568. >you turn off the lightsaber, and it turns to its programmable state and flies back to its original holder.
  569. >you silently turn away and walk back to the group, through all the soldiers, whom clear a path, and salute you on the way over
  570. >they're speechless. You turn towards the cyborg.
  571. You simply state "get him a robotic leg and get him to prison."
  572. >he runs towards the sith, making his matter manifest into the parts he needs.
  573. ____
  574. >a couple of days later.
  575. >you sit in a rustic smoking room, adjourning you is the anon that came through the portal with the rifle.
  576. >the cyborg went back to his universe shortly after your confrontation with that sith.
  577. >he mustn't have liked you.
  578. >you were pretty harsh, though, it surprised you- you acted more sith than the sith.
  579. >the 'take no prisoners attitude.' the way you jostled around the "hostage"
  580. >the way you cut the captain into pieces, instead of trying to defeat him.
  581. >you're a cardigan wearing teacher of technology with high blood pressure.
  582. >you've never been mad, really. But, for a moment, the saying shows up in your head.
  583. >'absolute power corrupts absolutely'
  584. >you need to make some checks and balances.
  585. >you're not above the law.
  586. >yeah, and neither is the sith. He deserves a trial.
  587. >I think he deserves to go back. Hell, you know nothing.
  588. >for all you know, he's the /protector/ of equestria.
  589. >or he's the conqueror.
  590. >but there is a death toll of ponies.
  591. >do you blame the sith? Or the droids?
  592. >we wasn't a sith, really, more-so just a force sensitive captain.
  593. >probably using the droids for all his real help.
  594. >at least that was what you assumed on the ride.
  595. >thank god you were right.
  596. >well, the four man ganking helped, you guess.
  597. >you break yourself out of your thoughts and look across to the anon, rifle still slung over his shoulder.
  598. >you get his attention
  599. "need some more alcohol, or are you ready?"
  600. >a strongly buzzed, wild eyed anon looks up.
  601. >he kind of went off when you told him that through the combination of magic and technology, you were able to go home.
  602. ______
  603. >he shouted about how his universe's twilight couldn't do it. How incompetent she was.
  604. >seems all his anger towards the incompetence of his universe Is shown when juxtaposed towards the helpful, creative and imaginative pony folk of equestria.
  605. >he was level headed as you were able to perceive, everyone breaks
  606. >undeniable tension, set off after you tell him that the one thing he wanted back in his universe was achieved in nearly 3 months.
  607. >you were able to calm him down, and he forgot about what he felt at the time of the incident.
  608. >keep him drinking, and he'll calm down.
  609. >that's how most anons work, as you, and him did that for years.
  610. >and, as you assumed, how most anons worked.
  611. "ready to see earth again? Get a royale with cheese?"
  612. >"ye- yeah, let's go."
  613. ______________-
  614. Shift to droid.
  615. >well… that was embarrassing.
  616. >you start to think to yourself in the bright room that was this city's prison for now.
  617. >'that Jedi had me beat from the beginning.'
  618. >'using my anger against me like that.'
  619. >'we looked the same, too.'
  621. >you conclude, that you both have to be the same people, but from alternate universes.
  622. >'those jedi are no joke.'
  624. >your regret fills you, you're running the situation over and over again.
  625. >'should've called in the spiders'
  627. >'why didn't I put EMP shielding on the battle droids! They're literally nothing without electric circuits!'
  628. >you continue on.
  630. >you find yourself twiddling your new thumbs, coated with rubber, but somehow capable of feel.
  631. >you get up, and pace around for an hour or so, cursing the clones for not doing their job.
  632. >after a while, your anger turns to Ataraxia. And, you find, you just want to go home.
  633. >its like 2 in the morning, you need sleep.
  634. >you lay down on the plush mattress, you note its softer than the one you normally sleep on.
  635. ___
  636. >you're dreaming, you know that, you don’t know why, but you know.
  637. >luna is standing across from you. Probably about to interrogate you.
  638. >"Anon, I need you to focus, this kind of magic is very hard to use, especially across universes."
  639. >you're taken aback
  640. "wait, luna- Holy shit! Can you get me out?"
  641. >"I can, but I need you to listen to me."
  642. "yeah?"
  643. >"get attention of the guard, ask for something- make a racket, something. The palace area you're in is about 50 feet from the portal."
  644. >"then, I'll come on through, and we can get you out."
  645. "yeah, that’s- that's no issue."
  646. >"okay, all you need to do now is wake up."
  647. >she turns around and kicks you.
  648. >you wake up, somewhat ironically, to a song about a man named Maxwell killing a woman with a silver hammer.
  649. >fucking human music.
  650. >okay, now what.
  651. >'fuck it, just start screaming'
  653. >that'll do it.
  654. >soon enough you have 4 guards in front of the cell, slightly scared.
  655. >now choke! >you start faking a choke, and they come in and start pushing down on your heart.
  656. >*POOF
  657. >then you're out infront of a stove, where you came in.
  658. >you almost literally dive into the portal, and luna follows you shortly
  659. Droid has left the game.
  660. _____
  661. >the train ride was uneventful in your cabin.
  662. >the other one seemed pretty lively, a couple of twilights friends were throwing a dinner party of sorts.
  663. >you and anon, however, were smoking cigarettes and drinking malt liquor while reading some vintage literature.
  664. >funny thing, both of you hate reading.
  665. >after a while you both give up trying to read "A Canterlot Wedding." and turn to trying to groove to some vintage albums.
  666. >and that one alternative album that somehow made its way into the bunch.
  667. >you have nothing to say to each-other. Neither of you really care for conversation.
  668. >which is weird, because you thought you'd click pretty well.
  669. >you both sigh as if you acting from a script for a cartoon.
  670. >the intercom comes on.
  671. >the captain herself starts reading from
  672. >"we're coming in on Ponyville, thank you for choosing the Canterlot express, I know you have choices when it comes to travel and we thank you for choosing us."
  673. >it pauses for a moment, and you hear rustling, like if they were flipping a page.
  674. >the captain continues, with a little more pep in her voice.
  675. >"Oh! And it looks like Tsar Anon is onboard! We personally thank you for choosing our line!"
  676. >you roll your eyes.
  677. >the ponies in the other cabin are more famous than you, but because you made a civilization and brought the worst side of humanity to equestria, you're the one to get all the praise.
  678. >regret, really is the feeling that comes to heart.
  679. "so, the plan is that we get into the castle, through the portal, then back to earth for a bit."
  680. >he looks up, it seemed like he was trying to sleep.
  681. >"then what?"
  682. "we got enough rubies to start a proxy war with Israel, so, really- whatever you need."
  683. >you look up.
  684. "I mean, you're free to stay there if you want to. But I'm pretty sure your universe needs you more than earth does."
  685. >"yeah, that’s about the feel. But it's nice to see the world again.
  686. >he pauses, and his bottom eyelid scrunches up a bit.
  687. >"it's really claustrophobic here, it seems- like the sky is lower."
  688. "yeah, I can feel that."
  689. >"hey, if you can connect to earth, what's the chance of connecting to mine?"
  690. "I dunno, but I'm fairly certain that the portal back in blyatovia is staying indefinitely. So- there's that. >you two were about to actually get into a conversation- but the train comes to a halt, and some staff come through to grab your bags.
  691. >sad thing you didn't bring any.
  692. >you get up, and are back in ponyville.
  693. >oh the nostalgia.
  694. >you take a deep breath, and follow twilight back to her castle.
  695. >god damn it's only Tuesday.
  696. >what a day it is!
  698. >walking up the steps, you follow twilight down the hallway into her workshop, previously your forge, now housing the portal.
  699. >today you're dressed in a black cardigan with grey lining, and white stitches; the sleeves are pulled up to your elbows, showing your unimpressive forearms. You're wearing a white shirt and some off-black tighter jeans, which only go up to your hips. Topping your head is a sun-bleached fedora
  700. >I guess stylish is all Rarity can muster.
  701. >anon is a bit more casual today, wearing a white tee with a pocket pen protector, a pair of hand sown jeans and a pair of boots.
  702. >really grunge, you note.
  703. >you realize that you're about a foot from earth, and you're analyzing the clothes of you and anon.
  704. >shrugging, you step forward.
  705. >anon follows closely behind, climbing out of the mirror behind you.
  706. >you greet the beach bum selling boards and weed under the table, and walk to where you paid off the shop owner to hold your mustang.
  707. "hey, keys?"
  708. >"yeah! Here you go fam!"
  709. >he throws the keys, and you fumble with them before they hit the ground.
  710. >its like he always has these on standby incase you come back.
  711. >that’s nice at least.
  712. "paper?"
  713. >without speaking, he throws you a newspaper.
  714. >you hand it to the other anon, and he starts reading the date.
  715. >"may twenty-seventh, 2016…"
  716. >he looks up.
  717. >"jesus, it's been a while."
  718. "how long have you-"
  719. >"about 10 years."
  720. "Jesus."
  721. >"lets stay away from PCs for now. They're a bit more advanced since 2006."
  722. "I'd say."
  723. >you hop into the old, red 5.0 liter mustang, you notice that the paint is peeling in some places.
  724. >beautiful.
  725. >you're pulling a .09 blood alcohol percentile about now, so hopefully you drive well enough
  726. "so, to fill you in, this is San Diego, California."
  727. >"it's beautiful here!"
  728. >you look at him cooly, and try to say the coolest thing you can muster.
  729. "yeah, that's about the tone."
  730. >you drive for a while, showing him the areas to see, before stopping in the mission valley's Hazard center.
  731. >pulling up to a stoplight, you turn left and then take another left into a parking lot.
  732. >you pull in, park, and get out, looking at the new 'BJs' restaurant and sports bar.
  733. "I could go for a BJ right about now."
  734. >"yeah, me too-"
  735. >"but not dinner."
  736. "oh fuck you!"
  737. >you knew your mistake, and he looks at you with a shit eating grin.
  738. >you simply shake your head, and walk in, and order for a table.
  739. >sitting down, you look over your menu; he's in awe at the baller plasma TVs lining the wall.
  740. >there's a colts V chargers game going on.
  741. >the waiter comes by, drops off some water, and walks away
  742. >soon she's back to take our orders, and we decide that we're going to share a Philadelphia style pizza.
  743. >what that entails you now you don't know.
  744. >just, being submersed in this technology is beautiful.
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