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[REQUEST] Anonymous - Visitors

Jun 2nd, 2013
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  1. Not really Flutterrape. Just silly.
  2. "deep space probe launched by 4chan finds it's way to equestria. filled with various stuff that w go nuts over."
  3. Easy as pie. Let's do this.
  4.  
  5. ---
  6. >Day Visitors in Equestria
  7. >You are Twilight Sparkle
  8. >Personal student of Celestia
  9. >Wake up and yawn
  10. >Poke Spike awake, shower, poop, brush mane
  11. >Trot downstairs to make yourself some breakfast
  12. >Pour yourself a bowl of oats and eat them while trying to wake yourself up with a bit of light reading
  13. >'Advanced Magical Leylines - Volume 8'
  14. >Skim over the pages and grunt a "hello" as Spike walks past, wiping his eyes
  15. >"Do we have any milk left?
  16. Ugh.
  17. >"Was that yes?"
  18. UGH.
  19. >"Alright then."
  20. >You finish chapter 2 by the time you're done eating and walk into the kitchen to clean up your bowl
  21. >Look out the window at the morning sun rising over Ponyville
  22. >Feel yourself smile
  23. >It's a most perfect day.
  24. >Glance further skyward
  25. >If you squint, you can still see a few stars, soon to be engulfed by the Sun's rays
  26. >Notice that a particular one is shining extra bright this morning
  27. That's funny, I don't recall seeing you in the astronomer's guide...
  28. >You strain your eyes to get a better look, mentally documenting its position so that you may look it up later
  29. >You shake your head and look again
  30. >It might be your sleep deprivation, but you swear that it's getting... Brighter
  31. >The light begins to get more intense, by now you don't even need to squint
  32. >Whatever it is, it's getting closer.
  33. >And just like that, the object tears through the skies of Equestria, a sonic boom obliterating any clouds near it
  34. >A burning mass travelling at an unthinkable velocity hurtles towards Ponyville
  35. >Gasp
  36. >Your mind is already working 5 steps ahead in case the object collides with anything
  37. >It's not often that something like this happens
  38. >Run outside the library just in time to see it reach the town
  39. >The object howls past, deafening you and shattering every single window in the area
  40. >It lands outside of Ponyville, a large explosion of dirt marking its position
  41. >You stare at the dust cloud from where you're stood
  42. >And grin
  43.  
  44. 1/?
  45.  
  46. Come on, girls! It's this way!
  47. >Rainbow Dash flies overhead and sees it first
  48. >"Woah! Hey, you guys, hurry up! You have GOT to see this!"
  49. >You pick up the pace, your mind racing
  50. >But when you reach the crest of the hill, what you see isn't a moon rock, nor is it a deep space meteorite
  51. >It's a large metal sphere
  52. >Your eyes widen and your heart stops
  53. >Your friends are silent, even Rainbow Dash
  54. >Fluttershy quietly breaks the silence
  55. >"W-what is it?"
  56. >You shake your head
  57. I'm not... Sure.
  58. >Applejack starts towards it
  59. >Hold a hood out in front of her
  60. Wait! We don't know what it is! It could be dangerous!
  61. >Applejack chuckles
  62. >"We ain't gonna know until we find out, are we?"
  63. >She pushes past you and down the crater's slope
  64. >Once she reaches the sphere, the rest of the group holds its breath
  65. >Applejack reaches forwards and bangs on the sphere twice with a hoof
  66. >"It ain't that hot. Ah think it’s fine."
  67. >You all cautiously head down the slopes and towards it
  68. >Despite your trepidation, your hooves carry you there faster than any pony else.
  69. >Reach Applejack's side and stare up at the sphere
  70. >It's about two ponies high, and made of a dark grey metallic material
  71. >Timidly touch it with a hoof
  72. >Jerk it back with a hiss
  73. I thought you said it wasn't hot!
  74. >Applejack chuckles
  75. >"Farmer's hooves, ah guess. Ya need to do more hard days work, Twi."
  76. >You grumble and pull out a quill and parchment from your saddlebag, and start to scribble down notes
  77. Reached the object. Further investigation has revealed that it is a large metallic sphere. Attempting to-
  78. >"Ya know, I reckon this whole thing could be over a lot fast if ya didn't keep stallin’. Let's crack this sucker open and see what's inside!"
  79.  
  80. 2/?
  81.  
  82. >Rarity steps forward
  83. >"I'm not sure that would be wise, Applejack. For all we know, there could be something highly dangerous inside! This is clearly an extra-terrestrial device and we must use extreme caution when handling it!"
  84. >Applejack rolls her eyes
  85. >"Come on, Rarity. Ah'm sure it's not that bad. I know it's scary, but..."
  86. >Applejack looks back at the sphere, a small smile creeping onto her face
  87. >"But ah'm just so excited to see what's inside! It's the answer, ya know?"
  88. >She leans forwards and whispers
  89. >"Are we alone, an' all."
  90. >Rarity shudders
  91. >"I should hope we are! I don't want to think about what hideous creature could be lurking inside there!"
  92. >Regardless of Rarity's warnings, you find yourself getting increasingly excited the more you hear Applejack talk
  93. >Without further delay, you approach the sphere and start poking it with magic
  94. >It's completely sealed, but you think you can feel a slight crack, barely touchable with magic
  95. >You slip some magic inside it, and concentrate
  96. >Feel your magical grip tighten, and pull
  97. >To your surprise, the sphere opens with the slightest touch
  98. >A loud hissing causes you to yelp and jump back
  99. >Applejack and Rainbow Dash move to the front of the group and glare at the opening
  100. >Mechanical whirring accompanies the slowly opening hatch
  101. >Brace yourself for whatever is lurking within the sphere
  102. >Lights within come to life, and a small mechanical arm extends from inside the sphere
  103. >You tentatively walk past AJ and Rainbow
  104. >The arm appears to be holding a small tube
  105. >It extends as far as it can reach, and waits
  106. >You glance at the tube then back at the arm
  107. >Grip it with magic and pull, the arm relinquishing the tube and retreating back inside the sphere
  108. >Inspect the tube and find that the end simply pops off
  109. >A slip of rolled up parchment is found inside
  110. >Only, the parchment is utterly perfect
  111. >It's edges are almost like knife points, and the material itself gleams in the sunlight, the blemish -less white colour reflecting the light like a mirror
  112. >Slowly unravel the parchment and stare at its contents.
  113.  
  114. 3/?
  115.  
  116. >...
  117. >What.
  118. >You turn the parchment over and inspect the other side
  119. >Nothing
  120. >Look back at the original side
  121. >Your friends peer at it
  122. >There, in giant bold letters, the parchment says:
  123. >"Ur a faget."
  124. >Blink a few times
  125. W-what do you think it means?
  126. >Rainbow Dash clears her throat
  127. >"I uhhh, I think it means you're a faget, Twi."
  128. What's a faget?
  129. >"You, apparently."
  130. >Scrunch up your face
  131. But... But that makes no sense! Where's the deep meaningful message to tell us that we're not alone in the universe?!
  132. >"Dunno. But at least we now know that you're a faget."
  133. >Rainbow snickers
  134. >Pinkie Pie joins in
  135. >Fluttershy creeps forwards
  136. >"Ummm, I think there's more stuff inside it..."
  137. >You look past the parchment and into the sphere
  138. >Various black slates line the walls, and several small objects can also be seen
  139. >You grimace and take a few confident steps forward, determined to crack this mystery
  140. >Hop inside the sphere and look around it
  141. >It's still pretty small in here, and only two ponies at a time can fit
  142. >Fluttershy decides to join you
  143. >Cast your eyes over the various objects
  144. >A small black slate with a reflective front catches your eye
  145. >Pick it up with magic and inspect it
  146. >Feel all over it with magic
  147. >Wave it around
  148. >Tap it carefully with a hoof
  149. What is this thing?
  150. >Fluttershy carefully pushes the side of the slate with her hoof
  151. >The front of the slate is instantly replaced with a bright white light
  152. Woah!
  153. >Fluttershy blushes
  154. >"S-sorry! did I break it?"
  155. No! I think... It's working now.
  156. >You stare in awe at the slate, which was jet black a second a go
  157. >Now it's a blinding white surface, adorned with 4 identical green symbols forming a square
  158.  
  159. 4/?
  160.  
  161. >Words suddenly appear, and you grin
  162. >Actual reading! This you can do.
  163. >"Please input command."
  164. >Blink and cock your head
  165. >Search the slate for any more buttons like the kind Fluttershy found
  166. >Nothing
  167. I don't get it.
  168. >A clear voice rings out from the slate
  169. >"Command not recognised"
  170. >You are gobsmacked
  171. >Now it can SPEAK?!
  172. >You feel your heart rate increase exponentially
  173. >This slate is clearly far more advanced than the sphere it came in
  174. >Fluttershy is looking over your shoulder, hiding behind her mane
  175. >"H-hello, mister"
  176. >"Command not recognised"
  177. >She whispers a barely audible "okay" and shies away to look at other things
  178. >Clear your throat
  179. Greetings!
  180. >"Command not recognised"
  181. What?
  182. >"Command not recognised"
  183. No, I just-
  184. >"Command not recognised"
  185. Shut up, you stupid machine!
  186. >It's silent for a second
  187. >And then
  188. >"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST FUCKING SAY ABOUT ME YOU LITTLE BITCH?!"
  189. >Scream and drop it, the slate clattering to the floor but still shouting in blind rage
  190. >"I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I GRADUATED TOP OF MY CLASS IN THE NAVY SEALS, AND HAVE OVER THREE HUNDRED CONFIRMED KILLS!"
  191. >Hear Applejack shout from outside
  192. >"What's goin on in there, Twi?!"
  193. I HAVE NO IDEA! STOP! PLEASE!
  194. >"Command recognised. Stopping retort"
  195. >Breathe a sigh of relief
  196.  
  197. 5/?
  198.  
  199. >You gingerly pick the slate back up again with magic, being careful not the say anything out loud, lest you offend it again
  200. >What are you supposed to say to it?
  201. >A simple hello wouldn't work, and you really don't want to insult it again
  202. >You decide to ask it a simple question
  203. What is your... Function?
  204. >"Query recognised - Data Slate number four is an archive of information from the nation of Fourchan. Would you like to know more?"
  205. Yes please!
  206. >"Tough shit."
  207. >The slate goes black, and a small card pops out of the bottom
  208. >Confused, you take it and read it
  209. >"Mad?"
  210. >Grumble and try to crush it with magic
  211. >It's made of weird shiny substance, and seems to be resistant to tearing
  212. >You throw it on the floor instead
  213. This is a joke... It has to be...
  214. >Fluttershy turns around
  215. >"L-look what I found!"
  216. >She's holding a huge spire-like object
  217. Woah! Now we're getting somewhere!
  218. >It's bright red, with lighter shades of red all over it, and is tipped at a point
  219. >Fluttershy is in awe
  220. >"It's so big!"
  221. >You prod it with a hoof
  222. It's... Soft, as well. What do you suppose it is?
  223. >Fluttershy blushes
  224. >"Umm... I-I don't know... I'll look at it some more later..."
  225. >She puts it back and you continue to poke around the sphere
  226. >You find a small box with a hole in it. You're not sure what it is, but it's made of a lovely looking material. It must be an ornament.
  227. >Putting it back, you see something that makes me jump for joy
  228. A book!
  229.  
  230. 6/?
  231.  
  232.  
  233. >Fluttershy moves over to your side
  234. >"Oh! How wonderful! Maybe it has pictures!"
  235. >You open the first page
  236. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
  237. >"OH MY GOODNESS! OH MY GOODNESS!"
  238. >You scream and throw the book outside with magic
  239. >"Hey, whatcha chuckin' at us, Twi?"
  240. DON'T OPEN THAT BOOK!
  241. >...
  242. >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
  243. I TOLD YOU NOT TOO!"
  244. >"W-WHAT IS THAT?! WHY IS IT DOING THAT? IS THAT THE THING THAT SENT THIS SPHERE?!"
  245. >Rarity scoffs
  246. >"Darling, what on earth are you screaming about- OOOOH NO! NO NO NO! SHUT IT! SHUT IT NOW!"
  247. >You hear a loud bang
  248. >Poke your head out the sphere
  249. >The book is now ash on the floor
  250. >Rarity is panting heavily, her horn smoking gently
  251. >Gulp and go back inside
  252. >"Umm, Twilight? Look what I found."
  253. >You cautiously approach what appears to be a picture of a...
  254. Oh my! Is that...
  255. >"This must be the creature that sent us this sphere!"
  256. >The creature in the picture is a large biped, a huge belly sticking out of a long black coat
  257. >It's also wearing a stylish hat, but something about the combination of the hat and coat just irks you
  258. I'm getting uncomfortable looking at this thing, Fluttershy. But I'm not sure why
  259. >"M-me too.."
  260. >You put away the picture and move on
  261. >Find a large chest with one of those slates built into the side
  262. >Jiggle with it for a second
  263. >You can't seem to open it
  264. >Try again, harder this time
  265. >It feels like it's about to open, but it never does
  266. >Strain yourself and surge magic into the chest
  267. >The slate comes to life
  268. >Another creature flashes up on the screen
  269. >This one seems to be leering at you
  270. >">Trying to open this chest"
  271. >">4013"
  272. >"I seriously hope you alien faggots don't do this"
  273. >Grind your teeth in frustration
  274.  
  275. 7/?
  276.  
  277. >Fluttershy pokes you
  278. >Turn around
  279. >She motions towards a large button
  280. >It has a small label on it
  281. >"The answer to the universe"
  282. >Your eyes widen
  283. >Glance at Fluttershy
  284. >She looks back nervously
  285. >"Should we press it?"
  286. Why not? Not like it could get any worse...
  287. >You press the button down
  288. >Nothing happens
  289. >Sigh
  290. I should have figured...
  291. >A loud whirring noise alerts you to something
  292. >Red lights start popping up all over the walls
  293. >The slate you picked up before starts flashing red
  294. >The voice rings out
  295. >"WARNING. WARNING. WARNING"
  296. FLUTTERSHY! OUT, NOW!
  297. >You tackle your friend out of the hatch and hit the floor hard
  298. >Turn over and look back at the sphere
  299. >To your horror, the entire sphere crackles with electricity
  300. >Before collapsing in on itself
  301. >The metal groans and snaps, but the sphere crushes itself to the size of a grape
  302. >The 'grape' then explodes
  303. >Stare at where the sphere just was
  304. W-what. WHAT?!
  305. >Rainbow Dash seems outraged
  306. >"What the hay?! What kinda alien visit was THAT?"
  307. >You feel your eye twitch
  308. >Unable to comprehend what just happened, you throw your head back and roar
  309. >You're so mad right now
  310.  
  311. >"I-it's not all bad, Twilight!"
  312. >Open your eyes and look at Fluttershy
  313. >She's hugging the red spire she found
  314. >"I managed to grab it as we left! Isn't that wonderful?"
  315. >And then you realise just what it is
  316. >Fucking Aliens.
  317.  
  318. 8/8
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