AshKetchupsthename: AshKetchupsthename eating hamburgers is the game
AshKetchupsTheName: AshKetchupsTheName eating pokemon is the game
dawnmidst♡: LOL
AshKetchupsTheName: LOL
AshKetchupsTheName: wait
AshKetchupsTheName: which i better
AshKetchupsTheName: eating hamburgers
AshKetchupsTheName: or eating pokemon
AshKetchupsTheName: my votes on hamburgers
dawnmidst♡: depends on the pokemon
dawnmidst♡: like some steamed kingler
dawnmidst♡: mmmmm
AshKetchupsTheName: LOL
AshKetchupsTheName: delicious
dawnmidst♡: what am i doing LOL
dawnmidst♡: im sitting on my fucking couch
AshKetchupsTheName: Ash Ketchups the name. pikachu and fries is the game.
dawnmidst♡: with some chips
dawnmidst♡: have a laptop in my lap
AshKetchupsTheName: sounds like me every night :(
dawnmidst♡: playing the worst game of all time
dawnmidst♡: LOOL
dawnmidst♡: i feel that
AshKetchupsTheName: it's like
AshKetchupsTheName: chicks call me up
AshKetchupsTheName: "hey baby wanna fuk? come over im naked"
dawnmidst♡: LOOOL
AshKetchupsTheName: im like nah im playing showdown
dawnmidst♡: LOOOOOOOL
AshKetchupsTheName: catch u on da flip tho
AshKetchupsTheName: then i skrt skrt away
dawnmidst♡: its too easy
AshKetchupsTheName: everythings easy when ur name is ash ketchup
dawnmidst♡: damn right
AshKetchupsTheName: on the real tho
AshKetchupsTheName: I need bitches who call me up and r like come over im naked
AshKetchupsTheName: :(
AshKetchupsTheName: the bitches who call me are like
AshKetchupsTheName: "come upstairs son its time for dinner"
AshKetchupsTheName: or
dawnmidst♡: LOOOOOL
AshKetchupsTheName: "hey its ur grandma call me back"
AshKetchupsTheName: :(
dawnmidst♡: LOL
dawnmidst♡: wait hold up
AshKetchupsTheName: LOOL
dawnmidst♡: this is
dawnmidst♡: my life
AshKetchupsTheName: oh.
AshKetchupsTheName: yikes.
AshKetchupsTheName: LOL
dawnmidst♡: LOOOL
AshKetchupsTheName: bro
AshKetchupsTheName: u wanna get guaranteed laid?
AshKetchupsTheName: 100% every time
AshKetchupsTheName: unfortunately u cant call ur mom like the rest of us but fortunately theres another solution!
dawnmidst♡: LOL
AshKetchupsTheName: Here's what u do.
AshKetchupsTheName: Google ur local sex addict meeting
AshKetchupsTheName: and all u need to do
AshKetchupsTheName: is go.
AshKetchupsTheName: guaranteed fuck.
AshKetchupsTheName: every time.
AshKetchupsTheName: LOOOL
dawnmidst♡: LOOOOOOOOOL
dawnmidst♡: BRUH
AshKetchupsTheName: LOOOOOOL
AshKetchupsTheName: "hi my names dawnmidst and im a sex addict"
AshKetchupsTheName: whisper to the chick next to u
AshKetchupsTheName: "hey"
dawnmidst♡: I CANT
dawnmidst♡: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
AshKetchupsTheName: 5 seconds later ur in the car fucking.
AshKetchupsTheName: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
dawnmidst♡: lets be honest tho its gonna be 20 males and the chick next to me
AshKetchupsTheName: most sex addicts r females
AshKetchupsTheName: js
dawnmidst♡: DEADASS?
AshKetchupsTheName: let me explain why
AshKetchupsTheName: sex addiction isnt a "real thing"
AshKetchupsTheName: it's self diagnosed and its for people who problems with having sex
AshKetchupsTheName: guys doesnt have problems with having a lot of sex
AshKetchupsTheName: girls do.
AshKetchupsTheName: LOOOOL
dawnmidst♡: LOOOOOOOOL
dawnmidst♡: THATS FACTS
dawnmidst♡: WAIT
AshKetchupsTheName: FACTS.
AshKetchupsTheName: IT'S LIKE
AshKetchupsTheName: IF A GUY FUCKS 20 GIRLS
AshKetchupsTheName: HE'S A "PLAYER"
AshKetchupsTheName: IF A CHICK FUCKS 20 GIRLS
AshKetchupsTheName: SHES A LESBIAN
AshKetchupsTheName: BUT IF A CHICK FUCKS 20 GUYS
dawnmidst♡: LLFSDGFHOGKHHLJTJFHJOBLDYGHBJNMLO
AshKetchupsTheName: THEN SHES A SLUT
dawnmidst♡: the definitions do not lie
AshKetchupsTheName: facts is facts.
AshKetchupsTheName: question
AshKetchupsTheName: what's worse then aunts in your pants?
AshKetchupsTheName: Uncles.
AshKetchupsTheName: FUCK
AshKetchupsTheName: I MEANT TO TYPE ANTS.
AshKetchupsTheName: BUT IT STILL WORKS
dawnmidst♡: LOOOOOOL
AshKetchupsTheName: IT'S LIKE
AshKetchupsTheName: whoa aunt sally what r u doing?
AshKetchupsTheName: DAMN DONT STOP
dawnmidst♡: BUT ITS ACTUALLY
dawnmidst♡: UNCLE LARRY
dawnmidst♡: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
AshKetchupsTheName: BUT
AshKetchupsTheName: IF UR UNCLES IN THERE
dawnmidst♡: OH?
AshKetchupsTheName: UR SCARRED FOR LIFE.
dawnmidst♡: LOOOOOOL
AshKetchupsTheName: ITS LIKE
AshKetchupsTheName: WHAT THE FUCK??
AshKetchupsTheName: DAD
AshKetchupsTheName: HELP
AshKetchupsTheName: OH MY GOD
AshKetchupsTheName: IM BEING RAPED
dawnmidst♡: WHAT IF THE DAD JOINS IN
dawnmidst♡: OML
dawnmidst♡: SFDGFGHFTHRDF
dawnmidst♡: NMGJCKH
AshKetchupsTheName: DAD
dawnmidst♡: J
AshKetchupsTheName: STOP
AshKetchupsTheName: LARRY AND DAD
AshKetchupsTheName: STOP!
AshKetchupsTheName: STOP!!!!!!!!!!!
AshKetchupsTheName: rip
AshKetchupsTheName: LOL
dawnmidst♡: LOOOL
AshKetchupsTheName: kkkk
dawnmidst♡: kkk
dawnmidst♡: is
dawnmidst♡: a good
dawnmidst♡: clan
dawnmidst♡: .
AshKetchupsTheName: I exclusively play with the kkk on wow
dawnmidst♡: LOL
AshKetchupsTheName: sometimes on halloween
AshKetchupsTheName: we'lll dress up as ghosts
dawnmidst♡: are u ranked imperial wizard?
AshKetchupsTheName: and then kill black people as a prank
AshKetchupsTheName: lol!
dawnmidst♡: LOL
AshKetchupsTheName: LOOOOOOL
AshKetchupsTheName: dawnmidst
AshKetchupsTheName: if u see a black person drowning do you jump in and rescue them?
AshKetchupsTheName: Yes.
AshKetchupsTheName: So you can give them a proper hanging.
AshKetchupsTheName: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
dawnmidst♡: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
AshKetchupsTheName: wait
dawnmidst♡: oh?
AshKetchupsTheName: that's only for
AshKetchupsTheName: black people
AshKetchupsTheName: you dont know
AshKetchupsTheName: if you see a black person you know drowning do you go in and rescue them?
AshKetchupsTheName: Yes.
AshKetchupsTheName: It's incredibly hard to find slaves these days
AshKetchupsTheName: @_@
dawnmidst♡: LOL
AshKetchupsTheName: LOOOOOOOOOOL
dawnmidst♡: dude honestly
dawnmidst♡: i got like
dawnmidst♡: 3 slaves in my closet
dawnmidst♡: should i pull a tjeff?
AshKetchupsTheName: idk who tjeff is
AshKetchupsTheName: but yes
dawnmidst♡: thomas jefferson
AshKetchupsTheName: what did he do
AshKetchupsTheName: ????
dawnmidst♡: he FUCKIN
dawnmidst♡: WHIPPED OUT HIS
dawnmidst♡: DONGALONG
AshKetchupsTheName: staff*
AshKetchupsTheName: he whipped out his staff*
dawnmidst♡: correct
AshKetchupsTheName: so he could fuck his staff
dawnmidst♡: ^^
AshKetchupsTheName: devans2048
AshKetchupsTheName: sigh
AshKetchupsTheName: dawnmidst
dawnmidst♡: wait how old are u?
AshKetchupsTheName: u know what the worst thing in the world is?
AshKetchupsTheName: 19
dawnmidst♡: ah
dawnmidst♡: que?
AshKetchupsTheName: yes im cute
AshKetchupsTheName: not important tho
AshKetchupsTheName: the worst thing i nthe world
AshKetchupsTheName: is buying a winning lottery ticket
AshKetchupsTheName: then giving it to some1 as a gift
AshKetchupsTheName: b4 u knew it was winning
AshKetchupsTheName: THE WHOLE TIME U WERE LIKE
dawnmidst♡: oh fuck
AshKetchupsTheName: WELL THIS IS A USELESS GIFT
dawnmidst♡: OH FUCK
AshKetchupsTheName: SO HERE U GO
dawnmidst♡: LOOOOOOOOL
AshKetchupsTheName: THEN U WATCH THE NEWS.
AshKetchupsTheName: FUCK
AshKetchupsTheName: FUCK
AshKetchupsTheName: FUCK
AshKetchupsTheName: FUCK
AshKetchupsTheName: FUCK
AshKetchupsTheName: FUCK
dawnmidst♡: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
AshKetchupsTheName: I HAD
AshKetchupsTheName: 100 MILLION DOLLARS
AshKetchupsTheName: AND I LITERRALY GAVE IT
AshKetchupsTheName: TO FUCKING SUSAN IN THE OFFICE
AshKetchupsTheName: BECAUSE I FORGET TO GET HER A BIRTHDAY PRESENT
AshKetchupsTheName: I HATE SUSAN
AshKetchupsTheName: I FUCKING HATE SUSAN
dawnmidst♡: AND U KNOW THE PERSON U GAVE THE GIFT TO IS A JACKASS BECAUSE WHY ELSE WOULD U GIVE THEM THAT SHIT
AshKetchupsTheName: LOOOOOL
AshKetchupsTheName: IKR
dawnmidst♡: SO THEY WONT SHARE AT ALL
dawnmidst♡: OMG DUDE IM SO SORRY
AshKetchupsTheName: I WOULD RATHER
AshKetchupsTheName: GET TESTICULAR CANCER
AshKetchupsTheName: AND LOSE MY PENIS AND BALLS
AshKetchupsTheName: THEN GIVE SOME1
AshKetchupsTheName: A FUCKING WINNING LOTTERY TICKET
dawnmidst♡: LOOOOOOOOOL
AshKetchupsTheName: I WOULD RATHER HAVE TO KILL AND TORTURE MY ENTIRE FAMILY
AshKetchupsTheName: THEN GIVE SOME1
AshKetchupsTheName: A WINNING LOTTERY TICKET
dawnmidst♡: LOOOOOOOOOOOL
AshKetchupsTheName: I WOULD RATHER SUCK HITLERS DICK
dawnmidst♡: well duh
AshKetchupsTheName: THEN LET HIM FUCK ME IN THE ASS
AshKetchupsTheName: well
dawnmidst♡: LOOOOOOOOOOL
AshKetchupsTheName: i would do this anyways
AshKetchupsTheName: but
AshKetchupsTheName: THEN GIVE SOME1
AshKetchupsTheName: A WINNING
AshKetchupsTheName: FUCKING
AshKetchupsTheName: LOTTERY TICKET
AshKetchupsTheName: AND GUESS WHAT
dawnmidst♡: LOOOOL
AshKetchupsTheName: SUSAN CALLED ME UP
AshKetchupsTheName: SHE SAID
AshKetchupsTheName: "FUCK YOU"
AshKetchupsTheName: THEN HUNG UP.
dawnmidst♡: LOOOOOOL
AshKetchupsTheName: YEP.
AshKetchupsTheName: FUCKING SUSAN FROM THE OFFICE
AshKetchupsTheName: THAT FAT CUNT.
dawnmidst♡: FUCK U NIGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
dawnmidst♡: @Susan
AshKetchupsTheName: Well I have good news and better news
AshKetchupsTheName: Good news is susan is dead.
AshKetchupsTheName: Better news I killed her.
dawnmidst♡: LOOL
AshKetchupsTheName: LOL
dawnmidst♡: damn that was quick
dawnmidst♡: howd u do it?
AshKetchupsTheName: Simple
AshKetchupsTheName: I told her I was with an invesment group and heard she won the lottery
AshKetchupsTheName: and wanted to talk to her about an opportunity
AshKetchupsTheName: so naturally I invited her to the local cheesecake factory for business discussion
AshKetchupsTheName: then I hired an actor to pretend to be a businessman
AshKetchupsTheName: they had a meeing
dawnmidst♡: rightright
AshKetchupsTheName: then he invited her over for coffee and a "nightcap"
AshKetchupsTheName: susan is ugly.
AshKetchupsTheName: she wanted to fuck him.
AshKetchupsTheName: so she went over
AshKetchupsTheName: then they fucked
AshKetchupsTheName: hard.
AshKetchupsTheName: then
AshKetchupsTheName: RIGHT
AshKetchupsTheName: BEFORE
AshKetchupsTheName: SHE WAS ABOUT TO ORGASM
dawnmidst♡: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
AshKetchupsTheName: I shot her in the face
dawnmidst♡: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
AshKetchupsTheName: FUCK YOU SUSAN.
dawnmidst♡: FUCK
dawnmidst♡: YOU
dawnmidst♡: SUSAN
AshKetchupsTheName: of course I had to kill the actor too
AshKetchupsTheName: i made it look like a murder suicide
AshKetchupsTheName: anyways
AshKetchupsTheName: I just bought this lottery ticket
AshKetchupsTheName: but like
AshKetchupsTheName: no way its gonna win
AshKetchupsTheName: so ill just give it to barry..
dawnmidst♡: I mean, you could've asked for his 3 digit number on the back before u killed him.
AshKetchupsTheName: i just took the card
dawnmidst♡: Oh good point
AshKetchupsTheName: anyways
AshKetchupsTheName: I had a job interview
AshKetchupsTheName: recently
AshKetchupsTheName: and well
dawnmidst♡: oh
AshKetchupsTheName: I think it went well
AshKetchupsTheName: he asked me
dawnmidst♡: nice!
AshKetchupsTheName: about some of my role models
AshKetchupsTheName: I told him
AshKetchupsTheName: seth rogen bob marley and snoop dogg
AshKetchupsTheName: then he asked me
AshKetchupsTheName: about some of my hobbys
AshKetchupsTheName: i was like
AshKetchupsTheName: uh I like to bake
AshKetchupsTheName: im a salesmen?
AshKetchupsTheName: I hang out with my friends?
dawnmidst♡: i highkey fw the bob marley answer
AshKetchupsTheName: im in a "gardening c lub"
dawnmidst♡: LMAO NERD
AshKetchupsTheName: nvm
dawnmidst♡: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
AshKetchupsTheName: u dont get it
AshKetchupsTheName: theyre all
AshKetchupsTheName: like
AshKetchupsTheName: weed euphemism
AshKetchupsTheName: s
AshKetchupsTheName: its a bad joke
AshKetchupsTheName: :(
dawnmidst♡: oh wait
dawnmidst♡: oh
AshKetchupsTheName: xddddd
AshKetchupsTheName: i'll just
AshKetchupsTheName: cross that one out
AshKetchupsTheName: :(
AshKetchupsTheName: dawnmidst
AshKetchupsTheName: have I told you about the perfect place to pick up women?
AshKetchupsTheName: Even better then the sex addict meetings.
dawnmidst♡: the supermarket?
dawnmidst♡: no
dawnmidst♡: where again?
AshKetchupsTheName: well let me tell u a story
AshKetchupsTheName: I used to have a difficult time picking up women
AshKetchupsTheName: especially fat women theyre heavy
dawnmidst♡: I WAS THINKING JUST THAT
dawnmidst♡: HOLY SHIT
AshKetchupsTheName: LOL
AshKetchupsTheName: but i was at the bar the other day with some friends
AshKetchupsTheName: and I saw this women
dawnmidst♡: ok
AshKetchupsTheName: WITH THE NICEST KNEES
AshKetchupsTheName: I mean
dawnmidst♡: OK
dawnmidst♡: OOOKKK
AshKetchupsTheName: they were bruised and everything.
AshKetchupsTheName: so
AshKetchupsTheName: long story short
AshKetchupsTheName: I fucked her in the womens bathroom
AshKetchupsTheName: but I realized it was the perfect pick up spot
dawnmidst♡: LOOOOOOOL
AshKetchupsTheName: most of their time their pants are already offf and there's no competition.
dawnmidst♡: right right
AshKetchupsTheName: nowadays im the king of this shit.
AshKetchupsTheName: I just strut in there like a lion and stalk my prey.
AshKetchupsTheName: The alpha predator.
AshKetchupsTheName: No, The sexual predator.\
dawnmidst♡: LOOOOOOOL
dawnmidst♡: NOM NOM
AshKetchupsTheName: LOOL
AshKetchupsTheName: so i was 8 years old and im at home watching tv and my dads working from home and he gets a phone call.
AshKetchupsTheName: he answers starts writing something down and says oh thank you ill check it out.
AshKetchupsTheName: I was bored so i decided to walk up and ask what the call was about.
AshKetchupsTheName: e said it wasnt important and to leave him alone for 20 mnutes.
AshKetchupsTheName: I said okay dad but before i left i glanced at the note he wrote and it said pen island .com
AshKetchupsTheName: I was like wow those must be some really nice pens if hes buying them online isntead of like office depot or something.
AshKetchupsTheName: So I decided to check out the website with the nice pens
AshKetchupsTheName: I grabbed some appluciie cracked my knucles and typed in pen island .com
AshKetchupsTheName: AND WHOA
AshKetchupsTheName: THOSE WERE NOT.
AshKetchupsTheName: FUCKING PENS.
dawnmidst♡: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
AshKetchupsTheName: THEY WERE NOT PENS.
AshKetchupsTheName: I WAS FREAKING OUT
AshKetchupsTheName: I RAN TO MY DAD IN HIS OFFICE
AshKetchupsTheName: AND GUESS WHAT
AshKetchupsTheName: HE WAS ON PEN ISLAND .COM TOO.
AshKetchupsTheName: YEP
AshKetchupsTheName: NAKED.
dawnmidst♡: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
AshKetchupsTheName: I WAS SCREAMING
dawnmidst♡: OH NOOOOOOOOOOO
AshKetchupsTheName: HE WAS SCREAMING
AshKetchupsTheName: "WHY ARE YOU NAKED AND WHY IS THERE LOTION O NYOUR DESK"
AshKetchupsTheName: he JUST SAID DONT TELL YOUR MOM
dawnmidst♡: TELL YOUR FUCKING MOM DUDE
AshKetchupsTheName: anyways that's how I found out my dad's gay
dawnmidst♡: wait dude
AshKetchupsTheName: ?
dawnmidst♡: theres this place where u can get really good protein options
AshKetchupsTheName: fr??
dawnmidst♡: its called
Please do not say 'meatspin.'.
dawnmidst♡: m e a t s p i n .com
AshKetchupsTheName: kk
AshKetchupsTheName: ill check it out
AshKetchupsTheName: ty friend
dawnmidst♡: its not whack at all
AshKetchupsTheName: nice
AshKetchupsTheName: theres lots of cock on here!
AshKetchupsTheName: ty for the protein options!
dawnmidst♡: np :D!