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Ginger_Fig

White Monster

May 17th, 2012
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  1. 1/3
  2. >Neighbor is going out of town for the weekend.
  3. >"Dude, can you watch my two fluffy ponies?"
  4. >fuck.exe
  5. >Well, you owe him a favor.
  6. "Sure, bring them over."
  7. >You don't have a safe-room, he understands that.
  8. >"They're both pretty good, just keep an eye on them."
  9. >"Give them a whack on the ass if they misbehave."
  10. >"Don't leave them alone...that's when they really get into trouble."
  11. >Fluffies cry about being left behind.
  12. >"Nuuu! Wan' stay wif dadee!" "Take fwuffy wif!"
  13. >The moment he leaves they both focus on you.
  14. >"Mista pway?"
  15. "Yeah, whatever."
  16. >Throw their ball down the hallway for hours.
  17. >Dumb things never get tired of it.
  18. >At dinner time they whine for "Sketties."
  19. >Ignore their crying, give them water and fluffy chow.
  20. >Phone rings.
  21. >Oh shit, it's that hot chick from the bar.
  22. >She's a total slut.
  23. >She wants you to come party.
  24. "Fuck yeah, I'll be there."
  25. >Hang up. Fluffy ponies staring at you.
  26. >"We go somepwace?"
  27. "You aren't going anywhere."
  28. >What are you gonna do with these damn fluffies?
  29. >You can't cancel out on this slut.
  30. >She sucks EVERYBODY's dick.
  31.  
  32. 2/3
  33. >Bathroom is smallest room in the apartment.
  34. >Easiest to convert to a safe-room.
  35. >Hide all scissors, razors, chemicals.
  36. >Tape over electrical plugs.
  37. >Put old bedding in bath-tub.
  38. >Put litterbox in bath-tub.
  39. >Not too shabby.
  40. >Clap hands.
  41. "Come on fluffies...time for bed!"
  42. >Fluffies don't like this arrangement.
  43. >"Nuuu! Wan' sweep wif Mista!" "Fwuffy scawed sweep awone!"
  44. >Neighbor lets them sleep in his room. Fuck.
  45. "He'll be back in two days...you sleep here until then."
  46. >Carry whimpering fluffies to their bath-tub bed.
  47. >Make them as comfortable as possible.
  48. >One last thing...
  49. "You need to stay in here so you'll be safe,"
  50. >Fluffies gasp.
  51. "there's a horrible white monster who lives in here. If you don't stay in bed all night he'll gobble you up!"
  52. >Fluffy ponies squeal and hug eachother in terror.
  53. >Working quite well.
  54. >"Pwease don' wet munsta eat fwuffies!" "Whhhaaaahhhh!"
  55. "Just stay in bed and you'll be safe. The white monster hates the bathtub."
  56. >Draw shower curtain closed.
  57. >Go to closet.
  58. >Dig out old store mannequin.
  59. >You use it at Halloween.
  60. >Sit white mannequin on toilet.
  61. >Blank face, no eyes.
  62. >You admit, it's pretty creepy in the dark.
  63. >Definately enough to keep fluffy ponies in bed.
  64. >Close the door.
  65. >Go out to party with hot slutty chick.
  66.  
  67. 3/3
  68. >Stagger in drunk.
  69. >Best night ever.
  70. >Got a blowjob, plus you fucked her in the mens room.
  71. >You might not even have gonorrhea.
  72. >Time to take a piss.
  73. >Scare yourself with creepy mannequin.
  74. "Oh yeah...those fluffy shitbags."
  75. >Bathroom reeks of fluffy feces.
  76. >Pull back shower curtain to check on them.
  77. >Fluffies are frozen, eyes wide, mouths agape in terror.
  78. >Hugging eachother tight.
  79. >Sitting in puddles of piss and shit.
  80. >Face fluff soaked with tears.
  81. >They don't move.
  82. >Fluffy ponies are dead.
  83. >They peeked around shower curtain.
  84. >Saw scary white monster.
  85. >Died in abject terror.
  86. "Awww, fuck."
  87. >Neighbor is going to be pissed.
  88.  
  89. >Next day, buy two new fluffy ponies.
  90. >Not even the right colors.
  91. >Neighbor comes back Sunday evening.
  92. >Explain what happened.
  93. >Zero fucks are given.
  94. >"No problem dude...fluffies die, it happens."
  95. >Drink a few beers as new fluffies play.
  96. >"You know, I banged that same slut last week."
  97. >Brofist.
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