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- 1/3
- >Neighbor is going out of town for the weekend.
- >"Dude, can you watch my two fluffy ponies?"
- >fuck.exe
- >Well, you owe him a favor.
- "Sure, bring them over."
- >You don't have a safe-room, he understands that.
- >"They're both pretty good, just keep an eye on them."
- >"Give them a whack on the ass if they misbehave."
- >"Don't leave them alone...that's when they really get into trouble."
- >Fluffies cry about being left behind.
- >"Nuuu! Wan' stay wif dadee!" "Take fwuffy wif!"
- >The moment he leaves they both focus on you.
- >"Mista pway?"
- "Yeah, whatever."
- >Throw their ball down the hallway for hours.
- >Dumb things never get tired of it.
- >At dinner time they whine for "Sketties."
- >Ignore their crying, give them water and fluffy chow.
- >Phone rings.
- >Oh shit, it's that hot chick from the bar.
- >She's a total slut.
- >She wants you to come party.
- "Fuck yeah, I'll be there."
- >Hang up. Fluffy ponies staring at you.
- >"We go somepwace?"
- "You aren't going anywhere."
- >What are you gonna do with these damn fluffies?
- >You can't cancel out on this slut.
- >She sucks EVERYBODY's dick.
- 2/3
- >Bathroom is smallest room in the apartment.
- >Easiest to convert to a safe-room.
- >Hide all scissors, razors, chemicals.
- >Tape over electrical plugs.
- >Put old bedding in bath-tub.
- >Put litterbox in bath-tub.
- >Not too shabby.
- >Clap hands.
- "Come on fluffies...time for bed!"
- >Fluffies don't like this arrangement.
- >"Nuuu! Wan' sweep wif Mista!" "Fwuffy scawed sweep awone!"
- >Neighbor lets them sleep in his room. Fuck.
- "He'll be back in two days...you sleep here until then."
- >Carry whimpering fluffies to their bath-tub bed.
- >Make them as comfortable as possible.
- >One last thing...
- "You need to stay in here so you'll be safe,"
- >Fluffies gasp.
- "there's a horrible white monster who lives in here. If you don't stay in bed all night he'll gobble you up!"
- >Fluffy ponies squeal and hug eachother in terror.
- >Working quite well.
- >"Pwease don' wet munsta eat fwuffies!" "Whhhaaaahhhh!"
- "Just stay in bed and you'll be safe. The white monster hates the bathtub."
- >Draw shower curtain closed.
- >Go to closet.
- >Dig out old store mannequin.
- >You use it at Halloween.
- >Sit white mannequin on toilet.
- >Blank face, no eyes.
- >You admit, it's pretty creepy in the dark.
- >Definately enough to keep fluffy ponies in bed.
- >Close the door.
- >Go out to party with hot slutty chick.
- 3/3
- >Stagger in drunk.
- >Best night ever.
- >Got a blowjob, plus you fucked her in the mens room.
- >You might not even have gonorrhea.
- >Time to take a piss.
- >Scare yourself with creepy mannequin.
- "Oh yeah...those fluffy shitbags."
- >Bathroom reeks of fluffy feces.
- >Pull back shower curtain to check on them.
- >Fluffies are frozen, eyes wide, mouths agape in terror.
- >Hugging eachother tight.
- >Sitting in puddles of piss and shit.
- >Face fluff soaked with tears.
- >They don't move.
- >Fluffy ponies are dead.
- >They peeked around shower curtain.
- >Saw scary white monster.
- >Died in abject terror.
- "Awww, fuck."
- >Neighbor is going to be pissed.
- >Next day, buy two new fluffy ponies.
- >Not even the right colors.
- >Neighbor comes back Sunday evening.
- >Explain what happened.
- >Zero fucks are given.
- >"No problem dude...fluffies die, it happens."
- >Drink a few beers as new fluffies play.
- >"You know, I banged that same slut last week."
- >Brofist.
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