Keanu (2016) Eng

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(SPEAKING SPANISH)

2
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(CLICKING TONGUE)

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(CONVERSING IN SPANISH)

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<i>Los Phantomas.</i>

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(YELLING IN SPANISH)

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(PEOPLE SHOUTING)

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(KITTEN MEOWING)

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(GUNSHOTS FIRING)

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(MAN SCREAMING)

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(GROANS)

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Oh!

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(YELPS)

13
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(SCREAMS)

14
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(GRUNTS)

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Juan?

16
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Luis?

17
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Pablo!

18
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Oh...

19
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No, no, no, please!

20
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No, no, no!

21
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Look, there's money. Look at
all the drugs around you, man.

22
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<i>We could do business. We'll get you rich!</i>

23
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What are you doing? No.

24
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Stop doing that. No, what are you...

25
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No, no. Look, you got
all this money around, man.

26
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- No, no...
- (CLATTERING)

27
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He's my kitten, Iglesias.

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<i>Please, please.
No, don't hurt him. Please.</i>

29
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(MEOWS)

30
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No, no, no.

31
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<i>That's my baby, Iglesias. No, no.</i>

32
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<i>He's a kitten, you know.</i>

33
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Everybody likes baby kittens.

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<i>Right?</i>

35
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You know, it's not so bad, yeah.

36
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(SHUDDERING)

37
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Please, no. Look, I'll go away.
I'll go away, please!

38
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<i>Please, no!</i> (SCREAMS)

39
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Freeze! Police!

40
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Drop your weapon now!

41
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<i>Show me your hands now!</i>

42
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<i>On the ground. Get on the ground!</i>

43
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<i>Get on the ground now!</i>

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- (GUNSHOTS)
- (SCREAMS)

45
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(SINGING ALONG
TO UPBEAT POP MUSIC)

46
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Call Rell.

47
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- SIRI: <i>Calling Rell.</i>
- (PHONE RINGING)

48
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(PHONE VIBRATING)

49
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CLARENCE: <i>Hey, cuz!</i>

50
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Oh, my gosh. You're alive, man.

51
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<i>How are you? How you doing?</i>

52
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Nothing makes sense anymore.

53
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<i>Are you okay?</i>

54
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Maisie broke up with me.

55
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(VERY SOFTLY) Yes! Finally.

56
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(IN NORMAL TONE) Oh, buddy, I'm sorry.

57
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<i>What happened? Why?</i>

58
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I don't know.

59
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She said my life wasn't going anywhere.

60
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I mean, what the fuck does that even mean?

61
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Hey, you know what?
I'm gonna swing by right now.

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<i>No!</i>

63
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Clarence, I don't want you
to see me like this.

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I look like Apollo Creed.

65
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Which <i>Rocky?</i>

66
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The one where he died.

67
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Oh, boy. Okay. All right.

68
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Hang on, I'm gonna be right there, okay?

69
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Okay.

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(GROANING)

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(EXHALES)

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(KITTEN MEOWS)

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Oh!

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Can I help you?

75
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Hey.

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(SOFTLY) Hey.

77
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Here you go.

78
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Go ahead. Drink some.

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It's just milk.

80
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I swear, look.

81
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There.

82
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You just drank it 'cause I drank it.

83
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Oh, you're so hungry.

84
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What?

85
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Okay.

86
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No, no, no, you need a bath.

87
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All right, just stay there.

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All right, we're gonna have to walk.

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(SOFTLY SINGING
UPBEAT POP MUSIC)

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(CLARENCE KNOCKING)

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Rell, it's gonna be okay.

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Now, I know you don't want to
hear this right now,

93
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but everything happens for a reason.

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You're right, Clarence.

95
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Everything does happen for a reason.

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I want you to meet

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Keanu.

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What?

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No.

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<i>No.</i>

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(LAUGHING) <i>Oh, my God!</i>

102
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That's the cutest cat
I've ever seen in my life.

103
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Hello! I'm sorry, Keanu?

104
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- Yeah.
- Okay.

105
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I think it means "cool breeze"
in Hawaiian.

106
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CLARENCE: Honey, I'm sorry
I can't come with you guys this weekend.

107
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It's just I've got all that
stuff to do around the house.

108
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I understand, honey. It's fine.

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I got the low-flow toilet to put in.

110
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I just want you to do me
a little favor this weekend.

111
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- Yeah.
- I want you to try and relax.

112
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Right. Got it. Absolutely.
What do you mean?

113
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Well, sometimes you can be
a little wound up.

114
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Wound up? How am I wound up?

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You're not hearing me.
You're not hearing me.

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You spend so much time
trying to be the person

117
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- you think everyone wants you to be.
- Okay.

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And I just want you to be Clarence.

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Okay, great.
If that's what you want, then...

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- But, see, that's what I'm saying.
- No, no, no.

121
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I mean, that's what I want,
so that's what I'm gonna do.

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Deep breath. Ready?

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- Just...
- (INHALES)

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BOTH: Ah!

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Loosen up your shoulders.

126
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And what's crack-a-lacking,
beautiful people?

127
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Hey, Spencer.

128
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Hannah. A vision, as always.

129
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Oh, thank you.

130
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- Give me that.
- Okay.

131
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- Clarence. Give me some skin.
- Spencer.

132
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You got it, brother.
That's all the skin you get.

133
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Where's Belle?

134
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Oh, honey, let me get her for you. Belle!

135
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- Them's some pipes.
- Right.

136
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Our daughters just can't get
enough of each other, huh?

137
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I'm tellin' ya. Girls, right?
Raising girls is the best.

138
00:09:07,923 --> 00:09:09,007
- I tell ya, yeah.
- Yeah.

139
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- Hey. Here we go.
- Thanks.

140
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Hey, you know what?
Maybe when you get back,

141
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we can see that new
Shailene Woodley movie, huh?

142
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Clarence, you're embarrassing me.

143
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- My bad.
- She got ya. She got ya.

144
00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:19,518
(LAUGHS)

145
00:09:19,685 --> 00:09:22,145
- There we go. There.
- Let's do it, kids.

146
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Get your seatbelt on, young ladies.

147
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Okay. We got this.

148
00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:26,942
Oh, honey.

149
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- (HORN HONKS)
<i>- Really got to go, guys.</i>

150
00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:31,196
All right, sweetheart.

151
00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:33,198
All right. Okay.

152
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:35,242
Uh, where's Micah?

153
00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:38,495
Oh, well, unfortunately,
my beautiful bride sends her apologies.

154
00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:39,871
She can't make it this weekend.

155
00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:41,540
She's got food poisoning.

156
00:09:41,707 --> 00:09:43,000
- Oh, no.
- Oh!

157
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:46,587
Yeah, poor thing. She was up all night
just projectile vomiting.

158
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- BOTH: Oh!
- And more.

159
00:09:48,171 --> 00:09:49,715
You know.
I'll spare you the gritty details.

160
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- Thanks.
- Oh! Oh, yeah.

161
00:09:51,550 --> 00:09:53,176
And diarrhea is what I'm talking about.

162
00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:54,344
<i>- Right.</i>
- Oh.

163
00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:56,221
Great. So, no Micah, then?

164
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:59,057
No. No Micah this weekend.

165
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:00,684
That's okay. That's okay.

166
00:10:00,851 --> 00:10:02,853
That's too bad. It's too bad. But, uh...

167
00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:04,396
- It's fine.
- Okay. Well, yeah.

168
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,356
CLARENCE: <i>Take care.</i>

169
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:08,650
<i>- And have a good time.</i>
- We will.

170
00:10:08,859 --> 00:10:10,277
- (KISSES)
- Oh, yep.

171
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:11,903
(HANNAH LAUGHING)

172
00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:13,864
- Bye, honey.
- Drive safe. Bye, Belle.

173
00:10:14,031 --> 00:10:16,366
Take care, guys! Have a great time!

174
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:20,370
Ah!

175
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,914
RELL: <i>Here's kitty!</i>

176
00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:24,708
No, you don't want to go through there.

177
00:10:24,875 --> 00:10:26,710
Look, you just want to
stay in there, okay?

178
00:10:26,877 --> 00:10:29,254
She's just found your manuscript
and you're ferocious with that.

179
00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:30,881
So, you're gonna stay right there. Yeah.

180
00:10:31,048 --> 00:10:32,215
Rell?

181
00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:33,759
Just find the space. In here!

182
00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:34,926
Hey.

183
00:10:36,053 --> 00:10:37,721
Wow, you're working again.

184
00:10:37,888 --> 00:10:39,056
What is that?

185
00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:41,224
- This is December.
- December?

186
00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:42,726
Yeah, for the calendar.

187
00:10:42,893 --> 00:10:44,895
I didn't tell you about
the calendar. Check it.

188
00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:46,063
The calendar?

189
00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:47,397
Oh!

190
00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:53,362
- Well, this is amazing.
<i>- Thanks.</i>

191
00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:55,322
You could make a bundle on this.

192
00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:56,740
<i>Yeah, I know.</i>

193
00:10:56,907 --> 00:10:58,575
I mean, I'm not gonna sell it.

194
00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:01,078
- Oh!
- It's for personal use only. And family.

195
00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:02,412
Oh, well, thank you.

196
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,748
No, I wouldn't want to exploit
Keanu's cuteness like that.

197
00:11:04,915 --> 00:11:05,916
<i>Okay.</i>

198
00:11:07,751 --> 00:11:09,252
(CLARENCE LAUGHING)

199
00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:12,506
You have been very productive.

200
00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:14,675
- I know, right?
<i>- Um...</i>

201
00:11:14,925 --> 00:11:15,926
Yeah. You know what?

202
00:11:16,093 --> 00:11:17,427
This movie's in about 20 minutes.

203
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:18,970
- Are you ready to go?
- Uh, yes, okay.

204
00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:20,180
Come here, buddy.

205
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:21,848
Good job today, man. You did really good.

206
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,433
I'm gonna put Keanu in his little nook.

207
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:24,601
Oh, he has a nook?

208
00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:26,645
Of course he has a nook.
Everyone has a nook.

209
00:11:26,812 --> 00:11:28,146
Okay. Hey, buddy.

210
00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:29,815
House meeting.

211
00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:31,441
I'm nothing without you.

212
00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:33,276
<i>And at the same time,
I need you to clean up</i>

213
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:35,278
<i>your little area while I'm gone.
Is that cool?</i>

214
00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:37,447
- I'll see you soon.
- Okay. Good.

215
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:38,782
Uh, say goodbye.

216
00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:40,992
You're coming with me.

217
00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:44,871
Right, yeah, of course. I'm sorry.

218
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,915
Uh, goodbye, Keanu.

219
00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:49,459
Cool.

220
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:51,211
Now, we'll talk about it later.

221
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,671
Okay. Bye. Hey.

222
00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:54,756
Get that bitch!

223
00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:57,718
Get her! Get her!

224
00:11:57,884 --> 00:11:59,845
Get her! Yeah!

225
00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:01,304
I'm psyched for this movie, man.

226
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:02,806
Is that a photo of you and Maisie?

227
00:12:02,973 --> 00:12:04,349
<i>Yeah. I mean, it was.</i>

228
00:12:05,684 --> 00:12:07,978
CLARENCE: That was amazing!
Movie of the year!

229
00:12:08,145 --> 00:12:10,564
That is, like, the best Liam Neesons movie
I've ever seen in my life.

230
00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:12,023
- Best Liam Neesons movie ever.
- Hands down.

231
00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:14,025
I'm, like, jacked up from that movie!

232
00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:17,279
- All right, settle down. Settle down.
- Whoo!

233
00:12:17,696 --> 00:12:20,198
What a way to start a weekend,
you know what I mean?

234
00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:21,742
That's good, because now,

235
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,327
I've got all that "doing me"
stuff out of the way,

236
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:26,413
and now tomorrow, I can mow the lawn,

237
00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:27,664
- I can get my bills done.
- Hey. Hey.

238
00:12:27,831 --> 00:12:32,169
You don't think that going and seeing
a Liam Neesons movie with me right now

239
00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:34,296
counts towards you doing you.

240
00:12:34,463 --> 00:12:35,505
- What? That is me doing me.
<i>- No.</i>

241
00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:38,091
I wanted to see that movie.
Hannah would never go see that with me.

242
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:39,259
It's just the beginning.

243
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,511
You have something else planned
for the rest of the weekend?

244
00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:43,054
We're gonna go to my house, right now.

245
00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:44,806
We're gonna smoke some weed.

246
00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:46,975
No, Rell. Hannah would...

247
00:12:47,142 --> 00:12:49,186
Will love it. Hannah will love it.

248
00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:50,729
You don't know my wife very well.

249
00:12:50,896 --> 00:12:52,689
I know her well enough
to know that she's a woman,

250
00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:55,358
and women like bad boys.

251
00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:57,736
Who are you to give me this advice?
Are you bad?

252
00:12:57,903 --> 00:13:01,740
I mean, I'm not saying I roll up,
fuckin' with my AK, poppin' fools.

253
00:13:01,907 --> 00:13:02,908
No, you're not rolling up,

254
00:13:03,074 --> 00:13:04,117
because that would require
a driver's license,

255
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,786
- which you, as a grown man, do not have.
- Fair enough.

256
00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:08,079
So, there will be
no rolling up with AK's or anything else.

257
00:13:08,246 --> 00:13:10,791
But I don't have a driver's license
'cause I'm from New York City.

258
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:12,334
NYC, baby.

259
00:13:12,501 --> 00:13:14,211
Where, yeah, the dudes
that kicked my ass...

260
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:15,378
- Yes?
- ...were bigger than the dudes

261
00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:16,546
that kicked your ass, motherfucker.

262
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:18,465
I'm from Detroit.
Detroit public school system.

263
00:13:18,632 --> 00:13:21,218
Impossible. Guaranteed
the guys who kicked my ass

264
00:13:21,384 --> 00:13:23,553
were twice as big and scary as
the guys who kicked your ass.

265
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:24,930
- No way.
- Guaranteed.

266
00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:26,431
- No way.
- Guaranteed.

267
00:13:26,598 --> 00:13:28,308
- No way.
- Guaranteed.

268
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,477
- No way.
- Guaranteed.

269
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:35,398
- Fine. So...
- Guaranteed.

270
00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:36,733
You have to get the last one.

271
00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:39,569
Do it. I don't care.
I'm not getting into a...

272
00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:40,737
No way.

273
00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:43,073
What makes you think
I can't handle my business?

274
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,325
<i>I've got it all on lock.
I'm good to go, drawg.</i>

275
00:13:45,909 --> 00:13:47,452
I'm good to go, dude.

276
00:13:48,203 --> 00:13:50,413
(GEORGE MICHAEL SONG
"FAITH" PLAYING)

277
00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:56,419
George Michael is holding it down.

278
00:13:58,129 --> 00:14:00,465
- See, you just grooved on it.
- I'm not saying...

279
00:14:00,632 --> 00:14:01,633
You just went... (VOCALIZING)

280
00:14:01,842 --> 00:14:03,343
I'm not saying it's not a good song.

281
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,512
I'm saying we should be listening to this.

282
00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:06,680
(N.W.A. SONG
"FUCK THA POLICE" PLAYING)

283
00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:08,723
(GRUNTS)

284
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,102
What are you doing? You all right?

285
00:14:12,269 --> 00:14:13,395
What is that?

286
00:14:15,438 --> 00:14:16,439
(N.W.A. SONG CONTINUES)

287
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:30,954
(SONG PLAYING SOFTLY)

288
00:14:32,873 --> 00:14:34,749
(POLICE SIREN WAILING)

289
00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:38,211
Yeah. Roll on, Po-Po.

290
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:39,462
I'm sorry, no.

291
00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:41,256
You don't get to say,
"Roll on, Po-Po" like that

292
00:14:41,423 --> 00:14:44,509
after you just smiled
and waved to the police.

293
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:48,680
He ain't want none, did he?

294
00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:50,849
Rell, what does that mean?

295
00:14:51,016 --> 00:14:53,184
Oh, snap. Is it raining?

296
00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:56,021
Well, it's LA. It'll stop in a minute.

297
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:00,525
RELL: So, what? You're so hardcore,

298
00:15:00,692 --> 00:15:02,527
you're just, like,
afraid of a little rain?

299
00:15:02,694 --> 00:15:04,446
CLARENCE: Why is your door open?

300
00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:07,157
Keanu.

301
00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:11,077
Keanu!

302
00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:12,954
Keanu!

303
00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:16,541
<i>Keanu!</i>

304
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:19,878
Keanu!

305
00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:21,838
<i>Keanu!</i>

306
00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:23,673
Rell.

307
00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:25,550
<i>Rell!</i>

308
00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:29,721
I'm sorry.

309
00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:33,058
No.

310
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:40,941
No!

311
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:43,610
I am so sorry, buddy.

312
00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:46,446
No!

313
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,284
CLARENCE: <i>Listen, the cops are here now.</i>

314
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:52,702
<i>And they're gonna take care of it. Right.</i>

315
00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:53,870
<i>They're professional.</i>

316
00:15:54,037 --> 00:15:56,122
They take this kind of stuff seriously.

317
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,875
<i>Crimson Tide.</i> Good one.

318
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,253
These are good. You take these?

319
00:16:02,671 --> 00:16:04,714
They're just pictures.
(SNIFFLES) Keep them.

320
00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:07,592
Do you think there's any chance
you might find the guys who did this?

321
00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:08,927
Hell no.

322
00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:11,012
In most burglaries,
the guys are never caught.

323
00:16:13,223 --> 00:16:14,391
Oh, um...

324
00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:16,768
You know, there might be a chance.

325
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:20,105
<i>I wish that I could be more help.</i>

326
00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:22,691
I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have
to take that blanket back.

327
00:16:23,775 --> 00:16:24,776
Oh.

328
00:16:26,611 --> 00:16:28,029
This sucks.

329
00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:29,823
Are you sure he was stolen?

330
00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:31,908
These guys don't usually take pets.

331
00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:35,245
Usually they're after drugs
or something they can sell for drugs.

332
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:38,498
<i>We'll keep an eye out for the cat.</i>

333
00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:39,916
Thank you very much.

334
00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:41,584
<i>Take care of each other.</i>

335
00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:44,879
See, now that's promising.

336
00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:47,173
Maybe Keanu will come back,
or maybe he'll...

337
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:48,425
Rell?

338
00:16:48,717 --> 00:16:49,843
Where are you going?

339
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,011
Hulka's house.

340
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:52,512
Who is Hulka?

341
00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:54,681
My weed dealer.

342
00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:56,224
- What?
- (KNOCKS)

343
00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:58,977
You live across the way
from your weed dealer?

344
00:17:00,145 --> 00:17:01,438
Oh, sup, sup, bro?

345
00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:04,274
Hey, Hulka. This is my cousin, Clarence.

346
00:17:04,441 --> 00:17:06,317
- Hello.
- Sup?

347
00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:09,446
All right, in or out.

348
00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:12,032
Can't leave the door open,
you know what I'm sayin'?

349
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:13,366
And don't fuck up all this shit.

350
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:14,993
I'm building a motorcycle.

351
00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:17,495
So, the reason I'm here...

352
00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:19,372
- Okay, look...
- No.

353
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,958
This is the perfect
sativa-dominant hybrid strain.

354
00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:23,626
It's called Spoonie Gee.

355
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:26,880
Great. This is all great.
I'm not here for any of that.

356
00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:28,673
I'm here because my place got broken into.

357
00:17:29,424 --> 00:17:30,800
Oh, shit, you serious?

358
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:32,886
Oh, man, that suck a thick donkey ball.

359
00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:34,804
What'd they get?

360
00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:36,431
They got Keanu.

361
00:17:36,598 --> 00:17:38,141
- Oh, shit. The little guy?
- Yeah.

362
00:17:38,308 --> 00:17:40,060
Oh, fuck, man. I'm sorry, bro.

363
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:41,269
Okay. So...

364
00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:42,604
Thank you.

365
00:17:42,771 --> 00:17:44,230
I got an anti-sadness strain in here.

366
00:17:44,439 --> 00:17:45,982
- It's called Walking on Sunshine.
- No, no. I don't care.

367
00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:47,942
No, I'm not here for weed, man.

368
00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:51,488
I'm here just to ask you
some questions. Like,

369
00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:55,075
has anyone shady come by here
in the last couple of days?

370
00:17:55,992 --> 00:17:57,911
Well, I mean... Well, um...

371
00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:01,831
You know, I run
a professional business here.

372
00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:04,834
I never had a dissatisfied customer.

373
00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:07,253
I don't know,
it's a real fucking quandary.

374
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:10,340
Maybe it's someone that
you're selling all of this marijuana to.

375
00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:14,594
Yeah. Or maybe it was somebody who thought
they were breaking into your house?

376
00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:16,346
Oh, yeah. Look, bro.

377
00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:18,515
I be real with you, okay?

378
00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:21,976
I'm so fucking high right now.
I'm not even sure you're real.

379
00:18:22,143 --> 00:18:23,478
I'm just like, where am I?

380
00:18:23,645 --> 00:18:25,021
Where did all these eels come from?

381
00:18:25,188 --> 00:18:26,189
Oh, shit!

382
00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:27,357
No, no, no.

383
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:29,651
No, no, no, no.

384
00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:31,486
Hulka!

385
00:18:31,653 --> 00:18:33,530
Who the fuck would want to
break into your house?

386
00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:36,533
The Blips.

387
00:18:36,699 --> 00:18:37,867
<i>Man, the Blips.</i>

388
00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:39,160
The Blips?

389
00:18:39,536 --> 00:18:42,831
These are the guys that were kicked out
of the Bloods and the Crips.

390
00:18:42,997 --> 00:18:44,290
The Blips.

391
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:45,875
Blood-Crips, Blips.

392
00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:49,045
<i>I've started getting into
selling some heavier shit,</i>

393
00:18:49,212 --> 00:18:50,839
<i>and when you're selling the heavier shit,</i>

394
00:18:51,005 --> 00:18:53,550
turf becomes a thing. You know?

395
00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:56,636
And so, yeah. I mean,
the 17th Street Blips,

396
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:58,555
they did tell me, you know,

397
00:18:58,721 --> 00:19:01,015
they gonna break in and "fuck my shit up."

398
00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:03,935
<i>But... I mean, that's not,
like, concrete proof.</i>

399
00:19:04,102 --> 00:19:06,521
The 17th Street Blips.
Okay, where are they?

400
00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:08,731
17th Street.

401
00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:10,233
Be specific!

402
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,403
Dude, look! I get you lost your kitty-cat,

403
00:19:13,570 --> 00:19:17,323
but y'all some dumb fucks if
you think I'm gonna be a rat.

404
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:20,910
I ain't some punk-ass bitch
who's gonna be intimidated by y'all nerds!

405
00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:22,412
- You...
- Nerds...

406
00:19:22,579 --> 00:19:24,831
Yeah, that's right! You a fuckin' nerd!

407
00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:26,875
- What you doing?
- What do you think I'm doing?

408
00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:28,042
(RECORD SHATTERS)

409
00:19:28,209 --> 00:19:30,587
Oh, shit! You fucking crazy?

410
00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:32,213
No, not my De La!

411
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:33,840
Yeah, I got your De La now, bitch.

412
00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:35,258
Hulka? Is everything okay?

413
00:19:35,425 --> 00:19:36,926
Mom, not now!

414
00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:38,094
- Bro, no.
- (RECORD SHATTERS)

415
00:19:38,261 --> 00:19:40,180
Oh, you fuck!

416
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:41,347
What's this?

417
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:43,516
No, no, no! Not Grandmaster.
Not Grandmaster, please!

418
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:44,767
Tell me!

419
00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:47,937
Okay, okay! Dude's at a strip club
called Hot Party Vixens.

420
00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:50,315
<i>Okay? But this dude, their leader,</i>

421
00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:52,942
his name is Cheddar,
and he is a bad motherfucker.

422
00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:55,445
<i>You don't wanna mess with him.</i>

423
00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:57,947
Dude, you lost your cat.

424
00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:00,783
You lost your cat.

425
00:20:01,159 --> 00:20:02,160
Come on, Rell.

426
00:20:02,327 --> 00:20:04,495
<i>We'll figure something out in the morning.</i>

427
00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:06,164
<i>It's not over.</i>

428
00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:10,627
CLARENCE: All right, this is the place.

429
00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:12,587
Hot Party Vixens.

430
00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:15,465
RELL: HPV.

431
00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:17,008
That's unfortunate.

432
00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:19,552
Check it. We're going to approach the bar.

433
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:22,138
Then we are going to
explain the situation.

434
00:20:22,305 --> 00:20:23,473
- No, no, no.
- Yeah.

435
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,225
See, you're talking about
explaining the situation.

436
00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:28,478
Hulka said this is a crazy
drug dealer named Cheddar.

437
00:20:28,645 --> 00:20:29,646
So?

438
00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:31,481
What's so scary about "Cheddar"?

439
00:20:31,648 --> 00:20:32,941
Cheddar is a psychopath name.

440
00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:35,985
You only name yourself
something adorable if you can back it up.

441
00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:37,779
- I don't think that's a thing.
- That's a thing.

442
00:20:37,946 --> 00:20:39,822
If you meet a guy named
Fluffy Pink Bunny Head,

443
00:20:39,989 --> 00:20:41,157
he will stab you in the eye.

444
00:20:41,324 --> 00:20:43,993
I'm sure that this Cheddar guy
is gonna be reasonable about money.

445
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:46,663
And, if need be,
we will just buy Keanu back.

446
00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:48,665
No, no. Not like that. Come on, just...

447
00:20:48,831 --> 00:20:49,832
What, this?

448
00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:52,502
- Yeah, pop the collar.
- Uh...

449
00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:55,129
- Okay?
- Yeah.

450
00:20:56,464 --> 00:20:57,840
It's what the kids are doing.

451
00:20:58,007 --> 00:20:59,008
Not really.

452
00:20:59,509 --> 00:21:00,843
But okay.

453
00:21:02,220 --> 00:21:03,721
- Ready?
- Yeah.

454
00:21:07,141 --> 00:21:09,060
(KEVIN GATES SONG
"I DON'T GET TIRED" PLAYING)

455
00:21:27,495 --> 00:21:28,705
Wow!

456
00:21:28,871 --> 00:21:32,041
God gave you one face.
Why would you change it?

457
00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:33,251
RELL: <i>Nope, Clarence.</i>

458
00:21:33,418 --> 00:21:35,003
I just don't understand that at all.

459
00:21:35,169 --> 00:21:36,296
- No, no, no.
- No, what?

460
00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:37,463
No, this was a bad idea.

461
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:40,383
Isn't your cat here?
We need to get the cat.

462
00:21:40,550 --> 00:21:42,343
- Hey, baby.
- Hello, how do you do?

463
00:21:42,510 --> 00:21:44,554
Oh, dear. Okay.

464
00:21:44,721 --> 00:21:45,722
I'm, uh...

465
00:21:45,888 --> 00:21:47,974
(CLEARS THROAT)
I'm flattered. Thank you.

466
00:21:48,141 --> 00:21:49,142
But I am married.

467
00:21:49,309 --> 00:21:50,393
No.

468
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,520
- Thank you.
- Oh...

469
00:21:52,729 --> 00:21:54,022
You just took my wedding ring.

470
00:21:54,188 --> 00:21:55,732
No, no, no. We're here,
we're here, you're good.

471
00:21:55,898 --> 00:21:56,899
One beer, please.

472
00:21:57,066 --> 00:21:58,359
I'll take a white wine...

473
00:21:58,526 --> 00:21:59,902
Sir, that young lady just took
my wedding ring,

474
00:22:00,069 --> 00:22:01,070
- so I'm wondering...
- It's all right.

475
00:22:01,237 --> 00:22:04,073
- No, no. Clarence, Clarence, Clarence!
- Yeah.

476
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:05,992
You can't talk like that here.

477
00:22:06,284 --> 00:22:08,786
- Okay?
- I can't talk like what?

478
00:22:08,953 --> 00:22:12,290
You sound like Richard Pryor
doing an impression of a white guy.

479
00:22:13,416 --> 00:22:16,919
I do not sound like Richard Pryor
doing an impression of a white guy.

480
00:22:17,086 --> 00:22:18,546
(IMITATING CLARENCE)
"I do not sound like Richard Pryor

481
00:22:18,713 --> 00:22:20,506
"doing an impression of a white guy."

482
00:22:20,673 --> 00:22:22,759
You sound like John Ritter all the time.

483
00:22:22,925 --> 00:22:25,511
(IN DEEP VOICE)
Well, I beg to differ, nigga.

484
00:22:25,678 --> 00:22:27,263
N-word. Went straight to the N-word.

485
00:22:27,430 --> 00:22:28,806
- Yeah. Yeah, I did.
- It's not authentic.

486
00:22:28,973 --> 00:22:30,266
Because that's how
real people talk, Clarence.

487
00:22:30,433 --> 00:22:32,185
No, it is not in my experience.

488
00:22:32,352 --> 00:22:33,936
- It's not how people talk.
- Please, please, you're wrong.

489
00:22:34,103 --> 00:22:36,898
You understand? People understand
the historical significance of that word,

490
00:22:37,065 --> 00:22:38,191
and that you can't just say it

491
00:22:38,358 --> 00:22:39,776
shiftlessly with no
responsibility whatsoever.

492
00:22:39,942 --> 00:22:41,277
Absolutely wrong. 100% wrong.

493
00:22:41,444 --> 00:22:43,279
- Listen, this is life.
- (SHUSHING)

494
00:22:43,446 --> 00:22:45,281
You listen to me. You don't shush me.

495
00:22:45,448 --> 00:22:46,866
You niggas in the right place?

496
00:22:47,283 --> 00:22:49,619
Yeah, we in the right place, nigga!

497
00:22:49,786 --> 00:22:52,038
You in the right place, nigga?

498
00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:54,624
Who the fuck are these niggas?

499
00:22:54,791 --> 00:22:56,000
Who the fuck are we?

500
00:22:56,167 --> 00:22:58,419
(SCOFFS)
Who the fuck aren't we?

501
00:22:58,711 --> 00:23:01,172
- Oh!
- Are you trying to die today?

502
00:23:02,256 --> 00:23:03,883
Nah.

503
00:23:04,050 --> 00:23:05,468
We ain't trying to die today.

504
00:23:05,635 --> 00:23:07,762
Let me break it down right quick.

505
00:23:07,929 --> 00:23:09,972
Y'all gonna take us to Cheddar,

506
00:23:10,139 --> 00:23:12,475
and then we can start nailin'
down the hows and whens

507
00:23:12,642 --> 00:23:14,060
and wherefores and...

508
00:23:14,227 --> 00:23:15,228
Whys.

509
00:23:15,395 --> 00:23:17,814
Did I not mention the whys?
The whys, too, motherfucker.

510
00:23:17,980 --> 00:23:19,982
- Well, look here, homeboy.
- Yeah, dude.

511
00:23:20,149 --> 00:23:22,568
You in Bliptown now,

512
00:23:22,735 --> 00:23:24,487
and you don't make the rules.

513
00:23:24,654 --> 00:23:26,239
Cheddar does.

514
00:23:26,447 --> 00:23:29,826
And you don't meet Cheddar
until you meet me.

515
00:23:30,284 --> 00:23:31,536
You feel me?

516
00:23:31,994 --> 00:23:34,789
So who the fuck are you niggas?

517
00:23:35,331 --> 00:23:36,791
Nigga...

518
00:23:37,250 --> 00:23:38,876
Nigga, nigga...

519
00:23:39,085 --> 00:23:41,129
- Psst. Tell her, man.
- Nigga...

520
00:23:43,339 --> 00:23:45,258
I'm Techtonic.

521
00:23:45,425 --> 00:23:46,968
- Nice!
- Thank you.

522
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:48,928
What about you?

523
00:23:50,179 --> 00:23:52,098
My name is Shark Tank.

524
00:23:52,306 --> 00:23:57,353
(SNICKERS) Well, look here,
Techtonic and Shark Tank.

525
00:23:57,520 --> 00:24:00,565
Cheddar is a businessman.
He don't take drop-bys.

526
00:24:00,731 --> 00:24:02,400
You think we don't mean business?

527
00:24:05,153 --> 00:24:07,405
And swam.

528
00:24:08,865 --> 00:24:10,116
(LAUGHING)

529
00:24:10,324 --> 00:24:11,701
Why don't you search 'em, Bud?

530
00:24:11,868 --> 00:24:13,870
Go on ahead, Bud.

531
00:24:14,287 --> 00:24:16,205
These niggas not strapped.

532
00:24:18,207 --> 00:24:20,793
- Come on.
- Yeah, let's come on, then.

533
00:24:42,190 --> 00:24:43,566
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

534
00:24:52,033 --> 00:24:53,242
What's up, motherfucker?

535
00:24:53,409 --> 00:24:54,744
- MAN: <i>What?</i>
- (CLEARS THROAT)

536
00:25:02,376 --> 00:25:04,086
Chill. Hey, yo, Cheddar.

537
00:25:04,253 --> 00:25:05,505
(DOOR CLOSES)

538
00:25:10,259 --> 00:25:11,969
(SCREAMS)

539
00:25:17,266 --> 00:25:19,143
You'll get it next time, boss.

540
00:25:29,070 --> 00:25:30,154
CHEDDAR: <i>Hi-C.</i>

541
00:25:31,572 --> 00:25:33,115
The fuck is this?

542
00:25:33,282 --> 00:25:34,325
I'm Techtonic.

543
00:25:34,492 --> 00:25:36,869
Sup, Cheddar? Finally.

544
00:25:37,036 --> 00:25:39,121
- He's Shark...
- The king pimp himself.

545
00:25:39,288 --> 00:25:40,289
Shark Tank.

546
00:25:40,456 --> 00:25:44,085
Yeah, I mean, we've been looking
forward to this, dawg. Ha-ha!

547
00:25:44,252 --> 00:25:46,963
Talkin' about the H-N-I-C.

548
00:25:47,129 --> 00:25:48,297
My man.

549
00:25:49,382 --> 00:25:50,591
All right.

550
00:25:50,758 --> 00:25:51,842
Yeah.

551
00:25:54,679 --> 00:25:55,930
You know, I got a lot of enemies

552
00:25:56,097 --> 00:25:59,559
that would love to walk in this room
and put a bullet hole in old Cheddar.

553
00:26:00,476 --> 00:26:01,602
Hey!

554
00:26:02,895 --> 00:26:04,814
We ain't got no beef with you, Cheddar.

555
00:26:04,981 --> 00:26:07,567
No? How about now, nigga?

556
00:26:10,444 --> 00:26:12,446
That's a nice piece.

557
00:26:13,072 --> 00:26:16,617
You should keep the safety on.

558
00:26:16,784 --> 00:26:18,661
You know what? I get it.

559
00:26:18,828 --> 00:26:20,204
Hi-C, what the fuck is this, huh?

560
00:26:20,371 --> 00:26:22,999
You bring me a couple of bitch-ass niggas
as a joke, right?

561
00:26:23,165 --> 00:26:24,208
(LAUGHS)

562
00:26:24,375 --> 00:26:26,252
- What?
- Us? Uh, no.

563
00:26:26,460 --> 00:26:28,004
I'm sorry, bitch-ass niggas?

564
00:26:28,421 --> 00:26:30,006
<i>Am I right, Tech?</i>

565
00:26:30,172 --> 00:26:32,300
It's been a long-ass time
since we heard that.

566
00:26:32,466 --> 00:26:35,886
- Oh, really?
- Yeah, nigga.

567
00:26:36,554 --> 00:26:40,641
We killed 25 dudes this month, man.

568
00:26:41,434 --> 00:26:43,519
So, if y'all so fuckin' real,

569
00:26:43,853 --> 00:26:45,855
why ain't I never seent you before?

570
00:26:46,355 --> 00:26:47,773
- Well...
- Oh!

571
00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:49,442
That's because...

572
00:26:49,609 --> 00:26:50,985
I don't know,

573
00:26:51,152 --> 00:26:55,364
maybe we didn't wanna be seent.

574
00:26:58,701 --> 00:26:59,702
Wait a minute.

575
00:27:02,079 --> 00:27:03,706
Y'all them Allentown niggas, ain't you?

576
00:27:03,873 --> 00:27:05,166
- Us? Yes.
- Nah.

577
00:27:05,333 --> 00:27:06,792
- Yes, Techtonic.
- Yeah, what?

578
00:27:06,959 --> 00:27:08,711
Nigga, yes, we them Allentown niggas.

579
00:27:08,878 --> 00:27:10,046
What the fuck is wrong with you?

580
00:27:10,212 --> 00:27:11,213
This nigga acting like

581
00:27:11,380 --> 00:27:13,382
- he got amnesia up here, fucking around.
- (SPUTTERS) Crazy.

582
00:27:13,549 --> 00:27:15,593
(CHUCKLES) Shit.

583
00:27:16,177 --> 00:27:18,763
Why didn't y'all say something
earlier, man?

584
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:22,058
We was tryin' to stay incognito.

585
00:27:22,224 --> 00:27:23,768
You gotta keep 'em on their toes!

586
00:27:23,934 --> 00:27:25,811
(LAUGHING)

587
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:29,231
Oh, damn.

588
00:27:30,274 --> 00:27:33,027
Why don't y'all come over here,
have a seat so we can talk?

589
00:27:33,194 --> 00:27:34,612
Okay, yeah.

590
00:27:38,866 --> 00:27:40,618
You know, uh...

591
00:27:40,785 --> 00:27:43,579
I heard how it went down
at King Diaz's church.

592
00:27:43,746 --> 00:27:45,456
That was some cold shit.

593
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:47,833
You know, man, that's how we do.

594
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,419
You know, we gots to do, how we do.

595
00:27:50,586 --> 00:27:51,712
Oh, damn!

596
00:27:51,879 --> 00:27:53,339
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Don't worry about her, man.

597
00:27:53,506 --> 00:27:54,507
That's Montana.

598
00:27:54,715 --> 00:27:56,258
RELL: <i>All right.</i> (CHUCKLES)

599
00:27:56,425 --> 00:27:59,845
Hey, man, you know,
as much as I love snakes,

600
00:28:00,012 --> 00:28:02,682
I think we need to go
to the bathroom real quick

601
00:28:02,848 --> 00:28:03,891
and drain ours.

602
00:28:04,058 --> 00:28:06,769
Well played, yep. That's what
we should do. Mmm-hmm.

603
00:28:06,936 --> 00:28:08,437
Oh, look who's up from their nap.

604
00:28:15,778 --> 00:28:16,862
Hey.

605
00:28:17,947 --> 00:28:19,073
Cute cat.

606
00:28:20,157 --> 00:28:23,828
Uh, yeah. This is my nigga,
New Jack, right here, man.

607
00:28:24,036 --> 00:28:25,538
Yup. Hey, but, look,

608
00:28:25,705 --> 00:28:27,540
before y'all go run off
and do your little tinkle...

609
00:28:27,748 --> 00:28:29,291
Where'd you get him?

610
00:28:34,714 --> 00:28:36,549
Seems to me,

611
00:28:36,799 --> 00:28:39,885
no stupid-ass nigga in his right mind

612
00:28:40,052 --> 00:28:42,471
would let a cat like that go willy-nilly.

613
00:28:42,972 --> 00:28:43,973
The fuck?

614
00:28:44,306 --> 00:28:46,392
How much you want for him?

615
00:28:46,767 --> 00:28:47,977
He serious?

616
00:28:48,644 --> 00:28:50,146
Actually, he is, man.

617
00:28:50,312 --> 00:28:53,232
We in the market right now
for a gangsta pet, so...

618
00:28:54,608 --> 00:28:56,944
Oh, well, he ain't for sale.

619
00:28:57,903 --> 00:28:59,947
Everything has a price.

620
00:29:00,322 --> 00:29:01,699
At a pet store.

621
00:29:01,866 --> 00:29:04,493
But this ain't no motherfucking
pet store, nigga.

622
00:29:04,660 --> 00:29:05,703
CLARENCE: <i>Well, that's a shame.</i>

623
00:29:05,911 --> 00:29:06,996
<i>Um...</i>

624
00:29:07,246 --> 00:29:09,165
<i>Thank you for sharing your time.</i>

625
00:29:09,331 --> 00:29:10,791
I said,

626
00:29:11,625 --> 00:29:13,961
everything has its price.

627
00:29:16,839 --> 00:29:19,091
Well, shit. I mean, damn.

628
00:29:19,258 --> 00:29:21,427
Y'all drive a hard-ass bargain.

629
00:29:22,094 --> 00:29:24,180
All right. Hey.
I'll be right back, pimpin'.

630
00:29:24,346 --> 00:29:25,347
(KEANU MEOWS)

631
00:29:26,307 --> 00:29:28,601
I wanna show y'all something. Come on.

632
00:29:32,146 --> 00:29:33,522
Come on.

633
00:29:36,358 --> 00:29:39,862
I don't know if y'all know
what we slinging these days.

634
00:29:40,446 --> 00:29:41,697
Holy Shit.

635
00:29:43,199 --> 00:29:45,284
Holy shit, indeed.

636
00:29:45,868 --> 00:29:47,536
Nah, man.

637
00:29:47,703 --> 00:29:50,372
That's what it's called, man. Holy Shit.

638
00:29:50,539 --> 00:29:53,167
Only you ain't heard of it yet
because it's new.

639
00:29:53,334 --> 00:29:56,003
And we the only ones that got it in LA.

640
00:29:56,879 --> 00:29:57,963
<i>What you're looking at</i>

641
00:29:58,130 --> 00:30:00,466
is a cross between PCP,

642
00:30:00,633 --> 00:30:03,719
MDMA and DMT.

643
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:05,930
I mean...

644
00:30:06,514 --> 00:30:09,558
One puff of this, and holy shit!

645
00:30:09,725 --> 00:30:10,935
It's like you...

646
00:30:13,562 --> 00:30:15,523
Smokin' crack with God.

647
00:30:17,399 --> 00:30:21,403
So, uh, maybe y'all can accompany
these fools on a run.

648
00:30:21,570 --> 00:30:24,406
You know, show 'em how y'all
get down over in Allentown.

649
00:30:24,824 --> 00:30:26,033
(LAUGHS)

650
00:30:26,242 --> 00:30:28,160
Well, you know, actually, though, um...

651
00:30:28,327 --> 00:30:30,287
- Like a run, run?
- Yeah.

652
00:30:30,454 --> 00:30:32,164
You do that,

653
00:30:33,082 --> 00:30:36,126
I'll give you New Jack
as a gesture of respect.

654
00:30:36,836 --> 00:30:39,755
Wow. But, unfortunately, we...

655
00:30:39,922 --> 00:30:41,423
Deal.

656
00:30:41,590 --> 00:30:43,175
Deal. Y'all hear that?

657
00:30:44,385 --> 00:30:46,095
<i>They gonna shadow you.</i>

658
00:30:46,262 --> 00:30:48,180
So you make sure you listen to
every word they say

659
00:30:48,347 --> 00:30:49,682
and you take it as gospel, you understand?

660
00:30:49,849 --> 00:30:51,433
But right quick, though,
right quick, though,

661
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:52,726
Cheddar, seriously, man.

662
00:30:52,893 --> 00:30:54,895
I just was thinking about
what's been going on.

663
00:30:55,062 --> 00:30:57,356
As recently, our docket is full, nigga...

664
00:30:57,523 --> 00:30:59,942
And at the same time, Cheddar,

665
00:31:00,109 --> 00:31:04,446
if I can get a moment
to discuss with my colleague.

666
00:31:05,114 --> 00:31:06,949
Let's go, let's go, let's go, now!

667
00:31:07,116 --> 00:31:08,117
It doesn't have to be that hard.

668
00:31:08,284 --> 00:31:09,785
I will not sell drugs.
I can't sell drugs, Rell.

669
00:31:09,952 --> 00:31:10,953
This was your idea.

670
00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:12,288
You were the one that wanted
to come here, man.

671
00:31:12,454 --> 00:31:13,455
All right, listen.

672
00:31:13,622 --> 00:31:15,958
You were the one who said
we were the Allentown niggas.

673
00:31:16,125 --> 00:31:17,626
I am not breaking the law.

674
00:31:17,793 --> 00:31:19,670
It's easy. It's easy, though. It's easy!

675
00:31:19,837 --> 00:31:21,213
- What's easy?
- I've seen Hulka do this.

676
00:31:21,380 --> 00:31:23,549
He just stands there. People want drugs.

677
00:31:23,716 --> 00:31:26,802
We just feed them some
bullshit about <i>New Jack City,</i>

678
00:31:26,969 --> 00:31:28,095
and we just get Keanu.

679
00:31:28,262 --> 00:31:30,431
I'm not jeopardizing my family
by selling drugs, okay?

680
00:31:30,598 --> 00:31:31,765
- Or...
- Or?

681
00:31:31,932 --> 00:31:33,726
- Maybe you'll like it.
- What?

682
00:31:33,893 --> 00:31:35,144
Maybe you'll like
being a bad motherfucker.

683
00:31:35,311 --> 00:31:36,478
No, no.

684
00:31:36,645 --> 00:31:38,480
- You're good at it.
- What?

685
00:31:38,647 --> 00:31:41,275
And it's just team building.
This is what you do.

686
00:31:41,442 --> 00:31:43,235
I don't do team building for drug rings.

687
00:31:43,402 --> 00:31:44,486
I do it for corporate...

688
00:31:44,653 --> 00:31:46,405
- Ever hear of corporate crime?
- That's not...

689
00:31:46,572 --> 00:31:48,115
- HI-C: Y'all ready?
- Yeah.

690
00:31:48,282 --> 00:31:49,783
- Yeah.
- (CLEARS THROAT)

691
00:31:49,950 --> 00:31:51,619
Good. Let's go.

692
00:31:51,785 --> 00:31:53,579
You ready, Shark Tank?

693
00:31:54,622 --> 00:31:55,623
Yeah.

694
00:31:55,789 --> 00:31:58,125
I'm fuckin' ready, Techtonic.

695
00:32:19,438 --> 00:32:20,856
Sup, sup?

696
00:32:21,023 --> 00:32:22,358
Finders keepers, yo.

697
00:32:22,524 --> 00:32:24,026
Hey, keep your distance, yo.

698
00:32:24,193 --> 00:32:25,986
No, no, no. Know what I'm saying?

699
00:32:26,153 --> 00:32:27,863
No, don't shut that door. No, no, no.

700
00:32:28,030 --> 00:32:30,032
I'm about to leave, anyway, so...

701
00:32:31,784 --> 00:32:33,285
CLARENCE: All right, y'all.

702
00:32:33,452 --> 00:32:34,828
Gather 'round and whatnot.

703
00:32:35,829 --> 00:32:37,456
So, seriously, what's gonna happen now

704
00:32:37,623 --> 00:32:39,708
before we get on this job,
it's time for us to all

705
00:32:39,875 --> 00:32:41,543
<i>get to know each other
a little bit better.</i>

706
00:32:41,710 --> 00:32:43,337
We gonna go in a circle, first of all,

707
00:32:43,504 --> 00:32:44,880
and everyone gonna say their name

708
00:32:45,047 --> 00:32:46,382
and then two things about yourself.

709
00:32:46,715 --> 00:32:47,883
<i>For instance.</i>

710
00:32:48,300 --> 00:32:50,302
My name is Shark Tank.

711
00:32:50,511 --> 00:32:52,763
And I ran hurdles in high school.

712
00:32:52,972 --> 00:32:54,556
And I like to hold my gun like this.

713
00:32:55,307 --> 00:32:57,101
<i>So, that's me.</i>

714
00:32:57,810 --> 00:32:59,979
I'm Techtonic.

715
00:33:00,729 --> 00:33:03,524
- I once shot two dudes with one bullet.
- Blam.

716
00:33:03,732 --> 00:33:05,567
And I went to a exclusive,

717
00:33:05,734 --> 00:33:07,820
early screening of
<i>The Blair Witch Project.</i>

718
00:33:07,987 --> 00:33:09,029
- You did?
- Yeah.

719
00:33:09,196 --> 00:33:10,239
I did not know that. See?

720
00:33:10,406 --> 00:33:12,241
That was before we even knew
if it was real or not.

721
00:33:12,408 --> 00:33:14,576
That's right. People thought
that shit was real.

722
00:33:14,743 --> 00:33:16,286
Go on, nigga.

723
00:33:16,912 --> 00:33:18,163
I'm Bud.

724
00:33:18,956 --> 00:33:22,292
And I got into gang bangin'
after I got stabbed by my moms.

725
00:33:23,460 --> 00:33:25,254
I'm gonna need two things, though.

726
00:33:26,130 --> 00:33:27,256
And my grandma.

727
00:33:28,173 --> 00:33:30,718
Well, you know, them family reunions
get crazy sometimes, man.

728
00:33:30,884 --> 00:33:32,136
Thanks for sharing, brother.

729
00:33:32,302 --> 00:33:33,929
Whassup? I'm Trunk.

730
00:33:34,096 --> 00:33:35,597
I got a knock-out left hook.

731
00:33:35,806 --> 00:33:36,890
Mmm-hmm.

732
00:33:37,099 --> 00:33:38,100
I got my name

733
00:33:38,267 --> 00:33:40,436
because I accidentally locked
my car keys in my trunk once.

734
00:33:40,602 --> 00:33:42,688
- It happens to the best of us, dawg.
- With a dead body.

735
00:33:43,439 --> 00:33:44,648
Okay.

736
00:33:45,691 --> 00:33:46,817
Yeah, well, you know,

737
00:33:46,984 --> 00:33:49,445
Trunk is a better name than Dead Body.

738
00:33:49,611 --> 00:33:51,530
(SUPPRESSED LAUGHTER)

739
00:33:55,367 --> 00:33:56,994
Let's move on. What about you?

740
00:33:57,161 --> 00:33:58,203
CLARENCE: <i>Yeah.</i>

741
00:33:58,579 --> 00:33:59,872
Stitches.

742
00:34:00,914 --> 00:34:02,082
And?

743
00:34:02,249 --> 00:34:03,834
Two things about yourself?

744
00:34:07,254 --> 00:34:08,630
Nah, nigga.

745
00:34:08,797 --> 00:34:10,299
Okay, you know what, Shark Tank?

746
00:34:10,466 --> 00:34:12,426
I think, in his own way,

747
00:34:12,593 --> 00:34:14,303
Stitches did share something
about hisself.

748
00:34:14,470 --> 00:34:16,013
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

749
00:34:16,180 --> 00:34:18,307
- We should move on.
- Yeah, okay.

750
00:34:18,766 --> 00:34:20,142
I'm Hi-C.

751
00:34:20,934 --> 00:34:23,812
First off, uh, I don't like
niggas I don't know.

752
00:34:23,979 --> 00:34:25,647
Second, I'm real curious

753
00:34:25,814 --> 00:34:29,109
about what exactly went down
at the Diaz church massacre.

754
00:34:29,443 --> 00:34:30,444
- Mmm-hmm.
- STITCHES: <i>Yeah.</i>

755
00:34:32,529 --> 00:34:33,530
Okay.

756
00:34:33,697 --> 00:34:36,200
Now we all know things about each other.

757
00:34:36,366 --> 00:34:38,786
So, let's knock this job out real quick.

758
00:34:38,952 --> 00:34:41,747
Was it really like the word on the street?

759
00:34:42,998 --> 00:34:44,291
(STAMMERS INDISTINCTLY)

760
00:34:44,458 --> 00:34:46,293
What was the word on the streets?

761
00:34:46,460 --> 00:34:48,879
Blood bath. Hundred executions.

762
00:34:49,046 --> 00:34:51,548
- Yeah.
- Yeah, at least 100.

763
00:34:51,715 --> 00:34:52,800
Hundred, 101.

764
00:34:52,966 --> 00:34:54,176
And you ran up the wall
and did a back flip,

765
00:34:54,343 --> 00:34:56,095
and came down
and was still shooting niggas.

766
00:34:56,261 --> 00:34:57,346
- Mmm.
- (CLARENCE CHUCKLES)

767
00:34:57,513 --> 00:34:59,348
Damn straight. Did that, too.

768
00:34:59,515 --> 00:35:00,682
Well, show us.

769
00:35:01,016 --> 00:35:02,935
- Hmm?
- Show us!

770
00:35:03,102 --> 00:35:04,186
- The flip, hmm?
- Yeah.

771
00:35:04,770 --> 00:35:07,314
- I think we'd all like to see that.
- Um...

772
00:35:07,648 --> 00:35:08,857
(RELL LAUGHS)

773
00:35:09,441 --> 00:35:13,153
All right, let me explain
somethin' to y'all real quick.

774
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:15,697
It ain't gonna be like you think.

775
00:35:16,365 --> 00:35:19,243
Cheddar already told y'all,
we ain't here...

776
00:35:19,451 --> 00:35:21,411
- ALL: Oh!
- (ALL LAUGHING)

777
00:35:21,662 --> 00:35:23,789
Damn, nigga! You see that shit?

778
00:35:23,956 --> 00:35:25,499
He did it. He flipped it?

779
00:35:27,126 --> 00:35:28,127
He flipped it.

780
00:35:28,293 --> 00:35:29,336
Bring it in right here, homie.

781
00:35:29,503 --> 00:35:31,171
<i>Whoo! All right!</i>

782
00:35:31,713 --> 00:35:33,465
It's like black Jesus up in here.

783
00:35:33,632 --> 00:35:35,092
That's what I'm talking about.

784
00:35:35,259 --> 00:35:36,927
(SOFTLY) Oh, my God!
I just did a flip. Oh, my God!

785
00:35:37,094 --> 00:35:39,096
TRUNK: <i>Shit! That shit is crazy.</i>

786
00:35:39,847 --> 00:35:43,809
So next time we tell y'all
we did somethin',

787
00:35:44,810 --> 00:35:47,896
take our word that we did somethin'.

788
00:35:48,063 --> 00:35:49,731
- Now let's see you do it.
- Yeah.

789
00:35:49,898 --> 00:35:51,233
- What?
- Sorry?

790
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:53,110
Your turn, nigga.

791
00:35:54,820 --> 00:35:56,363
Only he's flippin' today.

792
00:35:56,530 --> 00:35:58,073
Only I'm flippin' today, y'all.

793
00:35:58,240 --> 00:35:59,533
We alternate flip days.

794
00:35:59,741 --> 00:36:03,162
<i>Okay, today's the day
where I'm gonna be doin' all the flips.</i>

795
00:36:03,328 --> 00:36:04,955
<i>Y'all ain't gonna see him flip today.</i>

796
00:36:05,122 --> 00:36:08,083
I'll flip the fuck
outta that shit tomorrow.

797
00:36:08,250 --> 00:36:09,251
<i>Ooh, yeah!</i>

798
00:36:09,418 --> 00:36:10,586
HI-C: <i>Hey!</i>

799
00:36:10,752 --> 00:36:13,088
Let's flip the subject
and go flip some Holy Shit.

800
00:36:13,255 --> 00:36:14,298
- Okay?
- Hells yeah, dirt.

801
00:36:14,464 --> 00:36:15,716
- HI-C: <i>Let's take care of that.</i>
- Exactly.

802
00:36:15,883 --> 00:36:18,427
Yo, everybody won't fit into my car.

803
00:36:19,052 --> 00:36:20,095
HULKA: (CRYING)
My brothers. My brothers.

804
00:36:20,262 --> 00:36:21,930
Come on, just tell me
what you want from me.

805
00:36:22,097 --> 00:36:24,433
Look, take anything. It's all yours, okay?

806
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:26,101
Okay? Hey, y'all like weed?

807
00:36:26,268 --> 00:36:28,520
Just untie me, I'll go get it for you.

808
00:36:28,687 --> 00:36:30,606
(EXCLAIMING) Fuck! No!

809
00:36:30,772 --> 00:36:32,941
No! Come on! I didn't do shit!

810
00:36:33,108 --> 00:36:34,276
<i>I wouldn't...</i>

811
00:36:34,443 --> 00:36:35,777
Oh, shit.

812
00:36:35,944 --> 00:36:37,613
I'm the fuckin' cat, aren't I?

813
00:36:37,779 --> 00:36:39,781
<i>That's what you're gonna do to me.</i>

814
00:36:39,948 --> 00:36:41,617
I ain't scared.

815
00:36:43,368 --> 00:36:44,494
(KISSING)

816
00:36:44,995 --> 00:36:46,622
The cat? The cat...

817
00:36:46,788 --> 00:36:48,081
You're looking for Keanu?

818
00:36:48,248 --> 00:36:51,460
The cat's at Hot Party Vixens.
You know, that strip club downtown.

819
00:36:51,627 --> 00:36:53,378
You guys, don't kill me.

820
00:36:53,545 --> 00:36:55,923
I fuckin' know everything about hip-hop.

821
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:06,391
Yo, Shark, no disrespecting, now, man,

822
00:37:08,185 --> 00:37:10,062
but why you drive this weak-ass van?

823
00:37:10,270 --> 00:37:15,234
(SCOFFS) You wanna get caught,
go ahead, drive a little drug car.

824
00:37:15,567 --> 00:37:18,445
<i>But you wanna never get pulled over again,</i>

825
00:37:18,904 --> 00:37:21,490
you drive a inconspicuous family vehicle.

826
00:37:21,657 --> 00:37:24,952
Inconspicuous, least hardcore,

827
00:37:25,118 --> 00:37:28,830
motherfuckin' soccer mom,
<i>Full House</i> thing.

828
00:37:28,997 --> 00:37:30,666
Where we goin' again?

829
00:37:30,832 --> 00:37:32,251
Just head towards the Hollywood Hills.

830
00:37:32,417 --> 00:37:33,919
I'll guide you from there.

831
00:37:34,461 --> 00:37:36,672
Wordness to the turdness.

832
00:37:44,304 --> 00:37:45,973
HI-C: Here we are.

833
00:37:47,849 --> 00:37:48,850
(GRUNTS)

834
00:37:51,937 --> 00:37:52,938
You comin'?

835
00:37:57,442 --> 00:37:58,527
Nah.

836
00:37:59,361 --> 00:38:00,862
You got this.

837
00:38:01,029 --> 00:38:02,364
Nah. Fuck that. You comin' with.

838
00:38:02,531 --> 00:38:04,324
Cheddar said you was gonna
show me how to do this.

839
00:38:04,658 --> 00:38:05,993
Yeah, go ahead, Techtonic.

840
00:38:06,159 --> 00:38:08,745
I'ma show these guys how to keep watch.

841
00:38:09,579 --> 00:38:10,998
Thank you, Shark Tank.

842
00:38:11,164 --> 00:38:12,374
You're more than welcome, nigga.

843
00:38:12,541 --> 00:38:15,085
HI-C: Come on. We gotta
get this over with, man.

844
00:38:16,461 --> 00:38:18,338
Don't worry about it, baby.

845
00:38:18,588 --> 00:38:20,382
Ain't no thang.

846
00:38:20,841 --> 00:38:22,718
Ain't no thang.

847
00:38:23,427 --> 00:38:25,012
(DOOR BEEPING)

848
00:38:29,891 --> 00:38:31,184
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

849
00:38:33,979 --> 00:38:35,731
Watch and learn.

850
00:38:38,233 --> 00:38:39,776
(MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)

851
00:38:39,943 --> 00:38:43,071
(GASPING) Hi!

852
00:38:49,077 --> 00:38:51,371
(WOMAN LAUGHING IN OTHER ROOM)

853
00:39:09,222 --> 00:39:12,601
Ah! Yay! You guys are here!

854
00:39:12,768 --> 00:39:14,186
Oh, finally!

855
00:39:15,020 --> 00:39:16,355
What's up?

856
00:39:17,481 --> 00:39:20,108
Somebody order some drugs?

857
00:39:20,275 --> 00:39:21,485
(SHOUTING EXCITEDLY)

858
00:39:21,651 --> 00:39:23,820
Yes! Oh, my God!

859
00:39:23,987 --> 00:39:26,782
I was just telling these guys

860
00:39:26,948 --> 00:39:30,202
about this job that I did in
Paris for a couple of months,

861
00:39:30,369 --> 00:39:32,287
and this guy, he let me
smoke some of this stuff.

862
00:39:32,454 --> 00:39:35,749
<i>And I swear to God, this drug is insane.</i>

863
00:39:35,916 --> 00:39:37,250
<i>And the beauty is,</i>

864
00:39:37,709 --> 00:39:40,003
every trip is different!

865
00:39:40,212 --> 00:39:43,673
Ha! Can I please see it? (VOCALIZING)

866
00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:47,135
Ooh. Backpack. Backpack.
(IMITATING DUCK)

867
00:39:47,969 --> 00:39:50,138
<i>Got a neat little backpack.</i> (GIGGLES)

868
00:39:51,848 --> 00:39:53,975
(EXCLAIMING EXCITEDLY) Yes!

869
00:39:54,142 --> 00:39:56,311
Oh, my God, yes!

870
00:39:56,603 --> 00:39:58,271
Come on, please, please, please! Come sit.

871
00:39:58,438 --> 00:40:00,190
Have a drink. Sit down!

872
00:40:00,357 --> 00:40:02,484
Sorry, we just want to see the money.

873
00:40:06,613 --> 00:40:07,739
(SIGHS)

874
00:40:08,824 --> 00:40:10,826
You see, Donnie,

875
00:40:12,077 --> 00:40:14,955
some people don't respect the game.

876
00:40:15,330 --> 00:40:16,581
What game?

877
00:40:16,873 --> 00:40:18,125
Life!

878
00:40:18,750 --> 00:40:21,294
Life is a fuckin' game!

879
00:40:21,461 --> 00:40:22,838
<i>And the only real question is,</i>

880
00:40:23,004 --> 00:40:25,882
<i>who are the players
and who are the pieces?</i>

881
00:40:26,049 --> 00:40:28,218
Come on, you guys.
Let's smoke some Holy Shit.

882
00:40:28,385 --> 00:40:29,553
No, no, no.

883
00:40:30,262 --> 00:40:31,805
<i>Thought I made myself clear.</i>

884
00:40:31,972 --> 00:40:33,598
We're not interested.

885
00:40:33,932 --> 00:40:35,183
(EXHALES)

886
00:40:35,684 --> 00:40:37,018
(SPLUTTERING)

887
00:40:52,492 --> 00:40:53,493
Man, fuck!

888
00:40:53,660 --> 00:40:55,620
Let's get some tunes
goin' in this motherfucker.

889
00:40:55,787 --> 00:40:56,788
- Something, man.
- Tunes, man, yeah.

890
00:40:56,955 --> 00:40:58,832
Fuck, yeah. Let's see what we got here.

891
00:40:58,999 --> 00:41:01,084
- I know you got some killer shit.
- Actually, no, we...

892
00:41:01,251 --> 00:41:02,335
(GEORGE MICHAEL SONG
"FREEDOM" PLAYING)

893
00:41:02,502 --> 00:41:04,212
What? Yo.

894
00:41:04,379 --> 00:41:07,966
Yo, Shark Tank, my nigga.
Um... (CLEARS THROAT)

895
00:41:08,967 --> 00:41:10,552
What the fuck is this?

896
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:12,721
What the fuck is this?

897
00:41:14,973 --> 00:41:16,766
Oh...

898
00:41:18,059 --> 00:41:20,061
Shit, niggas!

899
00:41:20,228 --> 00:41:22,522
This my shit right here!

900
00:41:23,064 --> 00:41:24,232
This your shit?

901
00:41:25,233 --> 00:41:27,277
This shit sound kinda white.

902
00:41:28,069 --> 00:41:29,488
- White? White?
- Yeah.

903
00:41:29,654 --> 00:41:32,157
Niggas, this is
George Michael, right here.

904
00:41:32,324 --> 00:41:35,911
All right? This one of the greatest
recording artists of all time, man.

905
00:41:36,077 --> 00:41:38,163
This the real OG up in here.

906
00:41:38,330 --> 00:41:39,539
So,

907
00:41:40,207 --> 00:41:41,583
he black, then?

908
00:41:42,751 --> 00:41:45,086
You know, he light-skinned.

909
00:41:45,253 --> 00:41:47,839
And then, he used to roll
with this nigga, Ridgeley.

910
00:41:48,006 --> 00:41:49,007
Yeah.

911
00:41:49,174 --> 00:41:52,010
And then, George Michael
was trying to do that solo thing, right?

912
00:41:52,177 --> 00:41:53,720
And then, wham!

913
00:41:54,471 --> 00:41:59,309
Then nobody never see Ridgeley ever again.

914
00:41:59,935 --> 00:42:01,937
He killed the motherfucker?

915
00:42:02,437 --> 00:42:03,688
Nobody

916
00:42:04,397 --> 00:42:05,607
ever

917
00:42:06,107 --> 00:42:07,359
seen

918
00:42:07,984 --> 00:42:09,528
him

919
00:42:09,736 --> 00:42:11,279
again.

920
00:42:11,821 --> 00:42:12,822
Shit.

921
00:42:12,989 --> 00:42:14,699
I'll fuck with that nigga.

922
00:42:14,866 --> 00:42:16,535
I'll fuck with him.

923
00:42:16,743 --> 00:42:18,787
- Hey, hey, y'all.
- If he start that shit.

924
00:42:18,954 --> 00:42:21,915
Wait till y'all hear
this next track, though, dirt.

925
00:42:22,874 --> 00:42:23,875
You know,

926
00:42:24,042 --> 00:42:26,419
in samurai times,

927
00:42:27,128 --> 00:42:28,463
a refusal

928
00:42:28,964 --> 00:42:31,091
to sit at a man's court

929
00:42:31,258 --> 00:42:34,219
was considered a profound
insult to his honor.

930
00:42:38,557 --> 00:42:41,935
Ha! I'm just fucking with you! (LAUGHS)

931
00:42:42,102 --> 00:42:43,812
You should have seen your face.

932
00:42:44,646 --> 00:42:46,189
Oh, my God.

933
00:42:46,356 --> 00:42:48,483
Oh, that was amazing.

934
00:42:48,817 --> 00:42:49,818
Mmm.

935
00:42:50,569 --> 00:42:51,903
Crazy. (SNIFFING)

936
00:42:52,070 --> 00:42:53,154
Whoo!

937
00:42:53,905 --> 00:42:56,533
(CLEARS THROAT)
The man asked for the money.

938
00:42:56,700 --> 00:42:57,826
Yeah.

939
00:42:58,618 --> 00:42:59,869
(BLOWS RASPBERRIES)

940
00:43:00,036 --> 00:43:01,663
Rachel, get the bag.

941
00:43:02,539 --> 00:43:03,540
I'm not your slave.

942
00:43:03,707 --> 00:43:05,333
Get the fucking bag!

943
00:43:11,214 --> 00:43:12,215
Ooh!

944
00:43:14,175 --> 00:43:16,970
I loved you in
<i>The House Bunny,</i> by the way.

945
00:43:17,387 --> 00:43:19,222
- Thank you, man.
- Yeah. Yeah.

946
00:43:19,389 --> 00:43:21,224
You know this chick?

947
00:43:22,183 --> 00:43:24,102
It's Anna Faris, the actress.

948
00:43:24,477 --> 00:43:25,687
She's in movies?

949
00:43:26,980 --> 00:43:28,732
<i>Lost in Translation?</i>

950
00:43:29,232 --> 00:43:31,359
<i>Chipwrecked? The Squeakquel?</i>

951
00:43:32,819 --> 00:43:33,945
<i>Scary Movie?</i>

952
00:43:34,112 --> 00:43:35,655
Oh... You in that movie?

953
00:43:35,822 --> 00:43:37,741
<i>Scary Movie 1, 2, 3</i> and <i>4.</i>

954
00:43:37,907 --> 00:43:39,618
Not <i>5.</i>Too old.

955
00:43:39,784 --> 00:43:40,785
Hmm.

956
00:43:40,994 --> 00:43:42,621
But, enough! Enough! Enough!

957
00:43:42,787 --> 00:43:45,915
No more Hollywood talk.
I'm so sick of this bullshit.

958
00:43:46,124 --> 00:43:48,710
- Yeah.
<i>- All I care about</i>

959
00:43:49,502 --> 00:43:51,004
is truth.

960
00:43:52,964 --> 00:43:54,299
Or dare.

961
00:43:56,509 --> 00:43:58,011
Truth or dare!

962
00:43:58,511 --> 00:44:00,221
(CLARENCE SINGING)

963
00:44:05,602 --> 00:44:08,480
TRUNK: Yo, that chorus
do kick in nice, though.

964
00:44:08,647 --> 00:44:10,732
It does, don't it? Yeah, yeah. I mean,

965
00:44:10,899 --> 00:44:12,859
y'all hear the father figure part, right?

966
00:44:13,026 --> 00:44:14,194
Because, my man right here,

967
00:44:14,361 --> 00:44:17,489
he didn't have his own
positive male role model in his life.

968
00:44:17,656 --> 00:44:18,823
So...

969
00:44:18,990 --> 00:44:19,991
BUD: Damn!

970
00:44:20,158 --> 00:44:21,534
Yo, I never knew my daddy.

971
00:44:21,701 --> 00:44:23,328
- Really?
- No.

972
00:44:26,414 --> 00:44:28,249
(ALL SINGING)

973
00:44:52,357 --> 00:44:53,483
(MUSIC STOPS)

974
00:44:53,650 --> 00:44:55,735
Man, George Michael the shit, man!

975
00:44:55,902 --> 00:44:57,696
- Right, dawg?
- Right on, man.

976
00:44:57,862 --> 00:44:59,114
Love that man.

977
00:44:59,447 --> 00:45:01,616
- Truth.
- (EXHALES)

978
00:45:01,783 --> 00:45:04,452
What is

979
00:45:04,619 --> 00:45:07,831
the dirtiest, most fucked-up
thing you've ever done?

980
00:45:09,457 --> 00:45:10,458
Mmm...

981
00:45:12,001 --> 00:45:13,795
You know, you don't have to...

982
00:45:13,962 --> 00:45:16,965
This dude cheated on my sister
and I cut his dick off.

983
00:45:17,173 --> 00:45:18,967
Oh... Uh...

984
00:45:19,426 --> 00:45:20,552
(GRUNTS)

985
00:45:20,802 --> 00:45:22,470
Fuck, yeah!

986
00:45:22,637 --> 00:45:26,015
That is the kind of shit
you should get paid for.

987
00:45:26,725 --> 00:45:28,059
Thank you.

988
00:45:28,226 --> 00:45:30,478
ANNA: <i>Okay, your turn, same question.</i>

989
00:45:32,897 --> 00:45:34,733
Most fucked-up?

990
00:45:35,734 --> 00:45:36,943
(SIGHS)

991
00:45:38,903 --> 00:45:41,406
I once cut two dicks off.

992
00:45:42,824 --> 00:45:45,076
Yeah, that's right.

993
00:45:46,453 --> 00:45:47,829
They didn't even see it coming.

994
00:45:47,996 --> 00:45:48,997
Snuck up on them.

995
00:45:49,164 --> 00:45:51,249
<i>Got real close.</i>

996
00:45:52,083 --> 00:45:55,336
One of them was long, thin, pointy,
like a pencil.

997
00:45:56,963 --> 00:45:59,883
The other one was short, girthy.

998
00:46:00,842 --> 00:46:02,677
Had a little bit of heft to it.

999
00:46:04,345 --> 00:46:09,058
<i>Got up in there lickety-split,
snip, snip, yeah.</i>

1000
00:46:10,894 --> 00:46:12,645
I took them, too.

1001
00:46:12,812 --> 00:46:16,399
So, yeah, I'm a motherfuckin' dick-taker.

1002
00:46:22,155 --> 00:46:25,366
300 for the dick-taker.

1003
00:46:26,242 --> 00:46:27,285
(GRUNTS)

1004
00:46:27,452 --> 00:46:28,578
Okay.

1005
00:46:31,873 --> 00:46:34,959
- So, Allentown...
- What? Nigga, fuck, what? Nigga.

1006
00:46:35,126 --> 00:46:36,377
Tell me about it, man. Was it crazy?

1007
00:46:36,544 --> 00:46:37,545
Surely should have been.

1008
00:46:37,712 --> 00:46:38,713
Was it...

1009
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:41,508
Hells bells, hold on
to your shells, nigga.

1010
00:46:41,674 --> 00:46:43,676
Shit was crazy, shit was crazy.

1011
00:46:43,843 --> 00:46:47,222
We was just dodging bullets
on a everyday basis.

1012
00:46:47,388 --> 00:46:49,390
You know, just for survival.

1013
00:46:50,266 --> 00:46:52,602
But, you know, the thing
about me and Techtonic,

1014
00:46:52,769 --> 00:46:54,562
is our communication skills.

1015
00:46:54,729 --> 00:46:57,273
That's the backbone of our teamwork.

1016
00:46:58,066 --> 00:46:59,984
- You feel me?
- Yeah.

1017
00:47:00,151 --> 00:47:01,361
I get that.

1018
00:47:01,528 --> 00:47:02,779
All right.

1019
00:47:04,322 --> 00:47:05,824
- You know what?
- Mmm.

1020
00:47:07,283 --> 00:47:09,869
I never told y'all niggas how I got this.

1021
00:47:12,205 --> 00:47:15,124
A kid stabbed me
'cause I stole his Ring Pop.

1022
00:47:16,292 --> 00:47:18,002
That's awful, man.

1023
00:47:18,169 --> 00:47:19,671
How old were you?

1024
00:47:19,838 --> 00:47:20,922
Twenty-three.

1025
00:47:21,381 --> 00:47:23,925
Oh. (CLEARS THROAT) Okay. Well...

1026
00:47:24,425 --> 00:47:26,219
Yeah, thank you for sharing, though.

1027
00:47:26,386 --> 00:47:27,929
That felt good.

1028
00:47:28,429 --> 00:47:29,889
I got one, too. Check it out.

1029
00:47:30,056 --> 00:47:31,057
Okay, yeah. Let's see that.

1030
00:47:31,224 --> 00:47:32,267
BUD: Buckshot.

1031
00:47:32,976 --> 00:47:34,477
Holding up a liquor store.

1032
00:47:34,644 --> 00:47:35,854
Oh, man.

1033
00:47:36,521 --> 00:47:39,566
And then he shot you, man. That's crazy.

1034
00:47:39,732 --> 00:47:42,277
Nah, actually, it made the news,

1035
00:47:42,443 --> 00:47:44,821
and when I got back to my
grandmamma house, she shot me.

1036
00:47:44,988 --> 00:47:47,532
Okay, you know, you need to spend
a little less time with your family.

1037
00:47:47,699 --> 00:47:49,075
I'm gonna advise that.

1038
00:47:49,576 --> 00:47:50,702
- Hell, yeah.
- So, what you got?

1039
00:47:50,869 --> 00:47:53,288
- Me? Oh, okay, let me, um...
- Yeah, yeah.

1040
00:47:53,496 --> 00:47:54,706
(CLICKS TONGUE)

1041
00:47:54,873 --> 00:47:57,292
Come on, man.
You got a bunch of shit, man.

1042
00:47:57,458 --> 00:47:58,960
- Here it is.
- You ain't gotta be modest.

1043
00:48:01,671 --> 00:48:03,214
A damn-ass street fight.

1044
00:48:03,381 --> 00:48:04,591
Appendix.

1045
00:48:05,008 --> 00:48:06,134
Blam...

1046
00:48:07,427 --> 00:48:08,428
Your appendix?

1047
00:48:08,595 --> 00:48:10,430
- They took it out of my body.
- What?

1048
00:48:10,638 --> 00:48:12,015
Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.

1049
00:48:12,181 --> 00:48:13,725
Y'all don't even want to hear about

1050
00:48:13,892 --> 00:48:15,727
what went down with my wisdom teeth.

1051
00:48:15,894 --> 00:48:17,186
- Shit.
- Damn.

1052
00:48:17,937 --> 00:48:18,980
Truth or dare?

1053
00:48:19,314 --> 00:48:20,315
Dare.

1054
00:48:20,481 --> 00:48:22,358
Why would you choose dare?

1055
00:48:22,525 --> 00:48:23,818
ANNA: <i>Hmm...</i>

1056
00:48:24,944 --> 00:48:27,280
I dare you

1057
00:48:29,866 --> 00:48:31,034
to shoot your friend.

1058
00:48:33,328 --> 00:48:34,454
You jokin'.

1059
00:48:34,621 --> 00:48:35,955
She's jokin'.

1060
00:48:37,832 --> 00:48:39,375
You know she's jokin', right?

1061
00:48:39,542 --> 00:48:40,752
ANNA: <i>I'm not joking.</i>

1062
00:48:41,169 --> 00:48:43,296
That's $10,000.

1063
00:48:46,007 --> 00:48:47,008
What?

1064
00:48:47,175 --> 00:48:48,217
<i>Hey.</i>

1065
00:48:52,180 --> 00:48:54,432
Show us what it looks like

1066
00:48:54,599 --> 00:48:56,851
to see a man's brains explode.

1067
00:48:58,436 --> 00:48:59,646
Hey.

1068
00:49:00,188 --> 00:49:02,315
Fuck it! He ain't my friend.

1069
00:49:02,482 --> 00:49:05,193
Hey! Fuck. Yo, Hi-C!

1070
00:49:05,360 --> 00:49:06,527
(PANTING EXCITEDLY)

1071
00:49:06,694 --> 00:49:09,113
Don't let white girl tear us apart, Hi-C.

1072
00:49:09,280 --> 00:49:11,574
This is fuckin' black-on-black violence.
This is how it happens.

1073
00:49:12,158 --> 00:49:15,119
Don't fuckin'
let Anna Faris tear us apart!

1074
00:49:15,286 --> 00:49:18,206
Yes, come on.
Show us what death looks like.

1075
00:49:19,540 --> 00:49:21,125
<i>Come on.</i>

1076
00:49:21,542 --> 00:49:23,878
Do it. Do it, do it, do it.

1077
00:49:24,045 --> 00:49:25,546
<i>Do it, do it, do it.</i>

1078
00:49:25,713 --> 00:49:27,298
Do it, do it.

1079
00:49:27,548 --> 00:49:28,549
<i>Do it!</i>

1080
00:49:28,883 --> 00:49:30,176
- Fuck that!
- (GROANS)

1081
00:49:30,677 --> 00:49:32,178
<i>The fuck is wrong with you?</i>

1082
00:49:32,345 --> 00:49:33,513
Get it, then!

1083
00:49:34,305 --> 00:49:36,557
- What?
- Get the cash, motherfucker!

1084
00:49:38,142 --> 00:49:40,436
You broke my nose!

1085
00:49:41,729 --> 00:49:43,022
Look, look, look!

1086
00:49:45,358 --> 00:49:47,318
- (GUNSHOTS)
- (RACHEL SCREAMS)

1087
00:49:48,027 --> 00:49:50,238
You fucking peasant!

1088
00:49:50,571 --> 00:49:51,906
(RELL GRUNTING)

1089
00:49:52,407 --> 00:49:53,700
Crazy bitch!

1090
00:49:54,409 --> 00:49:55,576
(RACHEL SCREAMING)

1091
00:49:55,743 --> 00:49:58,329
HI-C: Bring your ass here, little Wendy!

1092
00:49:58,496 --> 00:50:00,415
- (SCREAMING CONTINUES)
- (GUNSHOTS FIRING)

1093
00:50:00,581 --> 00:50:01,958
HI-C: Come on. Let's go!

1094
00:50:07,922 --> 00:50:10,758
(ALL SINGING ALONG
TO SLOW POP MUSIC)

1095
00:50:24,981 --> 00:50:26,733
(MUFFLED SINGING)

1096
00:50:34,782 --> 00:50:35,825
Move!

1097
00:50:35,992 --> 00:50:37,452
Get in the back!

1098
00:50:38,161 --> 00:50:39,203
Move it!

1099
00:50:41,289 --> 00:50:42,707
Drive!

1100
00:50:42,874 --> 00:50:44,500
CLARENCE: <i>I gotta start the car.</i>

1101
00:50:44,667 --> 00:50:46,085
(BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY)

1102
00:50:46,252 --> 00:50:47,587
You good?

1103
00:50:50,923 --> 00:50:52,383
HI-C: <i>Come on. Drive!</i>

1104
00:50:53,509 --> 00:50:55,178
I said drive, motherfucker!

1105
00:50:55,344 --> 00:50:56,387
CLARENCE: I'm going, I'm going.

1106
00:50:56,554 --> 00:50:57,889
- Seat belts and shit!
- Come on, y'all.

1107
00:50:58,056 --> 00:50:59,057
(ALL VOCALIZING)

1108
00:50:59,223 --> 00:51:01,309
HI-C: What the fuck is y'all singing?

1109
00:51:01,476 --> 00:51:02,685
ALL: George Michael.

1110
00:51:03,394 --> 00:51:05,897
HI-C: Shit, don't break the goddamn van.

1111
00:51:06,481 --> 00:51:08,149
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

1112
00:51:11,486 --> 00:51:14,906
BUD: Oh, Stitches!
STITCHES: No, no. (LAUGHS)

1113
00:51:15,073 --> 00:51:16,699
BUD: You ain't gonna hit nobody.

1114
00:51:16,866 --> 00:51:17,867
Oh, there it goes!

1115
00:51:18,034 --> 00:51:19,243
<i>We still got this party shit</i>

1116
00:51:19,410 --> 00:51:20,661
<i>- goin' on later or what?</i>
- HI-C: <i>Yeah.</i>

1117
00:51:20,828 --> 00:51:21,829
CLARENCE: <i>We're going
downstairs in a second.</i>

1118
00:51:21,996 --> 00:51:23,039
<i>Don't even worry about that.</i>

1119
00:51:23,664 --> 00:51:25,041
About time you passed that shit, eh?

1120
00:51:25,208 --> 00:51:26,334
Here's the thing, man. I was, like...

1121
00:51:26,542 --> 00:51:29,212
- (CLEARS THROAT)
- Just say some... Yeah, dawg?

1122
00:51:29,670 --> 00:51:32,632
Shark Tank, can I catch
your ear for a second?

1123
00:51:32,799 --> 00:51:34,175
All right, dawg!

1124
00:51:34,342 --> 00:51:36,135
To be continued, y'all.

1125
00:51:36,302 --> 00:51:37,678
All right.

1126
00:51:37,845 --> 00:51:39,680
<i>- I'll be right back.</i>
- BUD: <i>Okay, Stitches.</i>

1127
00:51:40,014 --> 00:51:41,724
- (FIRES)
- Nah!

1128
00:51:42,600 --> 00:51:43,643
CLARENCE: I gotta tell you, man,

1129
00:51:43,810 --> 00:51:46,854
I'm having an amazing time,
and these are not bad people.

1130
00:51:47,021 --> 00:51:49,190
Clarence, Clarence, they're bad people.

1131
00:51:49,357 --> 00:51:50,483
- No, no...
- They're very, very bad.

1132
00:51:50,650 --> 00:51:51,984
Okay. They're drug dealers,
and I get all of that...

1133
00:51:52,151 --> 00:51:53,486
Listen to me. Listen to me.

1134
00:51:53,653 --> 00:51:55,071
- In the mansion, earlier...
- Yeah, yeah.

1135
00:51:55,238 --> 00:51:56,697
TRUNK: <i>Hey! Shark!</i>

1136
00:51:56,864 --> 00:51:58,699
Shark Tank! Come here!

1137
00:51:58,866 --> 00:52:00,576
Shut the fuck up, nigga. (LAUGHS)

1138
00:52:01,035 --> 00:52:02,662
Dumb motherfucker.

1139
00:52:03,204 --> 00:52:04,539
Okay. We'll just have
a couple more drinks,

1140
00:52:04,705 --> 00:52:05,957
and then we'll just go see
where Cheddar's at, right?

1141
00:52:06,124 --> 00:52:07,208
(SLOWLY EXHALING)

1142
00:52:07,375 --> 00:52:09,001
I never get to go out. I never go out.

1143
00:52:09,168 --> 00:52:10,670
I am doing something that Hannah asked.

1144
00:52:10,837 --> 00:52:12,046
This is for my marriage.

1145
00:52:12,213 --> 00:52:13,965
These drinks are for my marriage.

1146
00:52:14,507 --> 00:52:15,716
Thank you. Thank you so much.

1147
00:52:15,883 --> 00:52:18,219
I cannot tell you how much
I appreciate that. All right.

1148
00:52:18,386 --> 00:52:19,387
BUD: <i>Shark, you better hurry up!</i>

1149
00:52:19,554 --> 00:52:20,555
CLARENCE: <i>Listen up, niggas.</i>

1150
00:52:20,721 --> 00:52:23,099
BUD: <i>We about to be out this motherfucker.</i>

1151
00:52:23,474 --> 00:52:24,725
- Oh!
- You good?

1152
00:52:24,892 --> 00:52:26,060
(LAUGHS)

1153
00:52:27,395 --> 00:52:28,896
(FORCED LAUGHTER)

1154
00:52:29,730 --> 00:52:31,649
You got me on that one.

1155
00:52:31,816 --> 00:52:33,192
(BOTH CHUCKLE)

1156
00:52:34,152 --> 00:52:35,570
You good, though?

1157
00:52:36,904 --> 00:52:38,531
Yeah, I'm good.

1158
00:52:40,700 --> 00:52:42,243
You good?

1159
00:52:42,493 --> 00:52:44,245
Yeah. I'm good.

1160
00:52:48,583 --> 00:52:50,918
Shit got crazy back there, huh?

1161
00:52:52,295 --> 00:52:54,463
You ain't never seen
nobody get killed before?

1162
00:52:54,714 --> 00:52:56,757
(SCOFFS) Me?

1163
00:52:56,924 --> 00:52:59,385
Yeah, I've seen people get killed before,

1164
00:52:59,552 --> 00:53:00,761
by me.

1165
00:53:02,597 --> 00:53:05,933
I was just trying to say that,
usually in Allentown,

1166
00:53:06,100 --> 00:53:08,936
we handle our business
a little bit more professionally.

1167
00:53:09,437 --> 00:53:11,606
Mmm-hmm. Okay.

1168
00:53:16,777 --> 00:53:17,945
You, uh...

1169
00:53:18,571 --> 00:53:20,489
You ever think about gettin' out the game?

1170
00:53:21,365 --> 00:53:22,408
No.

1171
00:53:24,202 --> 00:53:25,786
That's a shame.

1172
00:53:26,579 --> 00:53:30,875
I would imagine that
it's a tough job for a woman to be here.

1173
00:53:32,418 --> 00:53:34,879
Not that you can't,

1174
00:53:35,046 --> 00:53:37,465
because a woman can do
anything a man can do, but...

1175
00:53:37,632 --> 00:53:38,841
(SNIFFLES) Yeah.

1176
00:53:39,592 --> 00:53:40,760
You think if I get out the game,

1177
00:53:40,927 --> 00:53:43,346
niggas gonna stop thinkin'
they own bitches?

1178
00:53:45,139 --> 00:53:46,807
Well, I'm not like that.

1179
00:53:48,476 --> 00:53:49,644
You're not?

1180
00:53:49,810 --> 00:53:50,978
Nah.

1181
00:53:53,314 --> 00:53:55,566
I bet you, out there somewhere

1182
00:53:55,942 --> 00:53:59,403
there's a non-gangster motherfucker

1183
00:54:00,488 --> 00:54:02,490
that'd be real lucky to have you.

1184
00:54:03,532 --> 00:54:04,825
I mean...

1185
00:54:06,827 --> 00:54:08,663
You look kind of like

1186
00:54:10,164 --> 00:54:12,166
the female lion in <i>The Lion King.</i>

1187
00:54:12,333 --> 00:54:13,376
Nala.

1188
00:54:13,542 --> 00:54:14,585
That's crazy that you say that,

1189
00:54:14,752 --> 00:54:16,170
because it's, like, my favorite cartoon.

1190
00:54:16,337 --> 00:54:18,339
- Really?
- Yeah, and I'm a Leo.

1191
00:54:18,506 --> 00:54:19,632
That's crazy how you knew that.

1192
00:54:19,799 --> 00:54:21,467
You must be psychic or somethin'.

1193
00:54:21,634 --> 00:54:23,552
- Wow.
- (BOTH CHUCKLE)

1194
00:54:28,391 --> 00:54:30,893
You don't want to get mixed up
with a dude like me.

1195
00:54:31,060 --> 00:54:32,728
I'm a wanderer.

1196
00:54:32,895 --> 00:54:33,980
Oh, you gay.

1197
00:54:34,146 --> 00:54:35,690
- No.
- Yeah.

1198
00:54:35,856 --> 00:54:37,566
Why you think I'm gay, though?

1199
00:54:37,733 --> 00:54:39,193
I'm just messing with you, man.

1200
00:54:39,360 --> 00:54:40,861
I know you not gay.

1201
00:54:41,654 --> 00:54:43,197
How do you know?

1202
00:54:43,364 --> 00:54:45,241
I could tell you like girls.

1203
00:54:46,826 --> 00:54:47,994
Good.

1204
00:54:49,203 --> 00:54:51,539
I wanna thank you for earlier.

1205
00:54:52,290 --> 00:54:53,374
Really?

1206
00:54:54,667 --> 00:54:56,585
Like, for what?

1207
00:54:56,752 --> 00:54:58,170
For helping me kill those people.

1208
00:54:58,337 --> 00:54:59,505
Yeah. Well, I...

1209
00:54:59,672 --> 00:55:02,216
No. No. I... (CLEARS THROAT)

1210
00:55:02,383 --> 00:55:03,759
I ain't help you kill them people.

1211
00:55:03,926 --> 00:55:05,511
You did that on your own.

1212
00:55:05,678 --> 00:55:07,430
It's kind of like we killed them together.

1213
00:55:07,596 --> 00:55:12,893
Nah, I think it's more like
you murdered them on your own.

1214
00:55:13,561 --> 00:55:16,605
Mmm. But I couldn't have
done it without you.

1215
00:55:17,398 --> 00:55:21,444
Agree to disagree with that one.

1216
00:55:21,610 --> 00:55:23,529
We killed them together.

1217
00:55:24,530 --> 00:55:26,449
Well, legally speaking,

1218
00:55:27,533 --> 00:55:29,118
I did not help you.

1219
00:55:31,078 --> 00:55:32,246
Mmm...

1220
00:55:33,581 --> 00:55:34,749
You all right?

1221
00:55:34,915 --> 00:55:35,916
I didn't...

1222
00:55:36,584 --> 00:55:37,752
You was kind of close.

1223
00:55:37,918 --> 00:55:39,045
Yeah.

1224
00:55:40,004 --> 00:55:41,130
Got my trick knee.

1225
00:55:41,297 --> 00:55:42,798
Why don't we go ahead
and finish this downstairs?

1226
00:55:42,965 --> 00:55:44,842
Mmm-hmm. You wanna... I go first.

1227
00:55:45,009 --> 00:55:46,052
Yeah. Go on.

1228
00:55:46,552 --> 00:55:48,220
Come on, y'all.
Let's go to this party, man.

1229
00:55:48,387 --> 00:55:49,722
BUD: Hell, yeah.
RELL: You heard her, y'all.

1230
00:55:49,889 --> 00:55:51,932
BUD: Niggas is in here caking and shit.

1231
00:55:52,683 --> 00:55:54,518
(FUTURE SONG "HONEST" PLAYING)

1232
00:56:34,392 --> 00:56:36,477
Allentown!

1233
00:56:36,644 --> 00:56:37,895
(ALL CHEERING)

1234
00:56:38,145 --> 00:56:39,647
Whoo!

1235
00:56:43,484 --> 00:56:46,112
Excuse me. Can I come
through here for a second?

1236
00:56:46,278 --> 00:56:47,822
Excuse me!

1237
00:56:49,990 --> 00:56:51,200
- Hey!
- Hey, hey!

1238
00:56:51,784 --> 00:56:53,494
We said one drink!

1239
00:56:53,661 --> 00:56:55,663
Hey, but we're turning it out, man!

1240
00:56:55,830 --> 00:56:58,040
It's not "turn out," it's "turn up"!

1241
00:56:58,207 --> 00:56:59,959
And it's time to turn down, man!

1242
00:57:00,126 --> 00:57:01,502
Oh, hey, hey, hey!

1243
00:57:01,669 --> 00:57:03,879
Okay. I see what's going on.

1244
00:57:04,046 --> 00:57:06,215
You're just mad
because they like Shark Tank

1245
00:57:06,382 --> 00:57:07,716
more than they like Techtonic!

1246
00:57:07,883 --> 00:57:09,176
What? No, no!

1247
00:57:09,343 --> 00:57:11,303
I'm sorry.
I just have a lot of personality.

1248
00:57:11,470 --> 00:57:12,805
I don't know what to tell you, brother.

1249
00:57:12,972 --> 00:57:14,807
- What?
- What?

1250
00:57:14,974 --> 00:57:17,226
First of all, I don't care

1251
00:57:17,393 --> 00:57:19,395
if they like Shark Tank
more than Techtonic.

1252
00:57:19,562 --> 00:57:21,021
They're murderers!

1253
00:57:21,689 --> 00:57:22,690
All right.

1254
00:57:22,857 --> 00:57:24,150
Second of all, no, they don't!

1255
00:57:24,316 --> 00:57:25,568
STITCHES: <i>Yo, Tank!</i>

1256
00:57:26,527 --> 00:57:27,736
What up?

1257
00:57:27,903 --> 00:57:29,196
BOTH: Nah!

1258
00:57:29,363 --> 00:57:30,865
(BOTH LAUGHING)

1259
00:57:31,782 --> 00:57:32,825
Yo, nigga, you aight?

1260
00:57:32,992 --> 00:57:35,035
Word to Big Bird I'm aight, dawg. Blam!

1261
00:57:35,202 --> 00:57:36,203
STITCHES: <i>Aight, man.</i>

1262
00:57:36,370 --> 00:57:37,872
Hey, Stitches, man.

1263
00:57:38,038 --> 00:57:40,708
Let me show you how we
smoke weed in Allentown.

1264
00:57:47,423 --> 00:57:48,924
Aight.

1265
00:57:49,091 --> 00:57:51,594
That's my boy, right there.
He know how to do it right.

1266
00:57:51,760 --> 00:57:53,721
- Yo, Shark Tank!
- Yeah, dawg?

1267
00:57:53,888 --> 00:57:56,098
Your turn, my nigga!

1268
00:57:57,391 --> 00:57:58,893
Well, you know,

1269
00:57:59,059 --> 00:58:01,729
I'm more one of them
pipe-smokin' niggas, you know.

1270
00:58:01,896 --> 00:58:03,063
You say a pipe?

1271
00:58:03,230 --> 00:58:04,231
- Thank God.
- Yeah.

1272
00:58:04,398 --> 00:58:06,901
Thank you so much, sir. Thank you. Yeah.

1273
00:58:07,067 --> 00:58:08,110
<i>Here we go.</i>

1274
00:58:11,238 --> 00:58:12,239
Yeah.

1275
00:58:12,406 --> 00:58:14,241
Gonna heat it up. Heat it on up.

1276
00:58:14,909 --> 00:58:17,244
Ooh. It's gonna be delicious.

1277
00:58:19,622 --> 00:58:21,415
STITCHES: <i>Yeah.</i>

1278
00:58:21,582 --> 00:58:25,211
Yo, I almost forgot. (EXCLAIMS)

1279
00:58:25,461 --> 00:58:26,837
Just got this done out back.

1280
00:58:27,046 --> 00:58:28,881
BOTH: Oh...

1281
00:58:29,548 --> 00:58:30,716
- Shit!
- Shit!

1282
00:58:30,883 --> 00:58:33,594
That's actually the best tattoo
I've ever seen in my life!

1283
00:58:33,761 --> 00:58:34,845
CLARENCE: Me, too, man. Me, too.

1284
00:58:35,012 --> 00:58:36,305
You want some, dawg?

1285
00:58:36,639 --> 00:58:39,600
Nah. I don't fuck with that Holy Shit.

1286
00:58:39,767 --> 00:58:40,851
MAN 1: <i>Yo, you all right?</i>

1287
00:58:41,185 --> 00:58:42,394
(MAN 2 GURGLING)

1288
00:58:42,770 --> 00:58:44,271
MAN 3: Hey, man.
WOMAN: Help him!

1289
00:58:45,231 --> 00:58:47,650
- Holy shit!
- Holy shit!

1290
00:58:47,816 --> 00:58:49,276
Holy shit.

1291
00:58:49,443 --> 00:58:51,445
(EXCLAIMING) Shit!

1292
00:58:51,612 --> 00:58:52,738
Holy shit!

1293
00:58:52,905 --> 00:58:54,323
All right. You doin' all right, right?

1294
00:58:55,324 --> 00:58:56,825
Holy shit.

1295
00:58:56,992 --> 00:58:59,328
I think maybe we should go,
like, lay down somewhere.

1296
00:59:04,959 --> 00:59:07,419
STITCHES: (DISTORTED)
<i>Yo, nigga, you floatin'!</i>

1297
00:59:30,067 --> 00:59:31,402
(CHUCKLES)

1298
00:59:32,319 --> 00:59:33,862
CLARENCE: Am I in Heaven?

1299
00:59:40,160 --> 00:59:41,954
(ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING)

1300
00:59:55,009 --> 00:59:56,802
You're George Michael.

1301
00:59:57,386 --> 00:59:59,638
You're George Michael, man.

1302
00:59:59,805 --> 01:00:00,973
(GEORGE MICHAEL SONG
"FAITH" PLAYING)

1303
01:00:01,140 --> 01:00:04,018
No. That's my favorite fucking song.

1304
01:00:12,860 --> 01:00:14,278
That's it. I like when you do that...

1305
01:00:14,445 --> 01:00:16,405
That thing. That leg thing. That's my jam.

1306
01:00:17,698 --> 01:00:19,033
(MOUTHING)

1307
01:00:21,535 --> 01:00:23,704
Oh, no, I can't.
There's no way I can spin.

1308
01:00:23,871 --> 01:00:25,414
No, I can't do it.

1309
01:00:25,581 --> 01:00:27,082
What? Oh... There it is. (LAUGHS)

1310
01:00:29,877 --> 01:00:31,253
Oh, it's so good.

1311
01:00:36,759 --> 01:00:38,344
(ECHOING) <i>George.</i>

1312
01:00:38,510 --> 01:00:40,012
<i>I have faith.</i>

1313
01:00:43,182 --> 01:00:44,558
Hello?

1314
01:00:46,393 --> 01:00:47,561
(GASPS)

1315
01:00:49,605 --> 01:00:50,689
Oh.

1316
01:00:50,856 --> 01:00:53,067
Hello, Clarence. It's me,

1317
01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:54,568
Keanu.

1318
01:00:54,735 --> 01:00:55,736
Meow.

1319
01:00:55,903 --> 01:00:57,112
Wait.

1320
01:00:58,197 --> 01:00:59,239
Are you...

1321
01:01:00,032 --> 01:01:02,534
<i>- Keanu Reeves?</i>
- (LAUGHS)

1322
01:01:02,910 --> 01:01:03,952
KEANU: <i>Yeah.</i>

1323
01:01:04,119 --> 01:01:06,246
I'm your spirit teacher.

1324
01:01:06,413 --> 01:01:08,999
People can't be excellent to you

1325
01:01:09,166 --> 01:01:12,544
unless you're being excellent to yourself.

1326
01:01:12,961 --> 01:01:14,463
I don't understand. What does that mean?

1327
01:01:14,630 --> 01:01:15,714
KEANU: Clarence,

1328
01:01:15,881 --> 01:01:17,883
it's time to wake up.

1329
01:01:18,050 --> 01:01:22,846
Where you go from there
is a choice I leave to you.

1330
01:01:23,263 --> 01:01:25,432
Oh. Right.

1331
01:01:25,599 --> 01:01:27,142
<i>The Matrix.</i>

1332
01:01:27,309 --> 01:01:29,853
Dude, all you need to remember is...

1333
01:01:30,062 --> 01:01:31,897
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

1334
01:01:32,940 --> 01:01:35,067
(GASPING) Oh...

1335
01:01:35,901 --> 01:01:37,194
<i>I get it.</i>

1336
01:01:42,366 --> 01:01:44,576
(CELL PHONE CONTINUES RINGING)

1337
01:01:54,628 --> 01:01:56,213
STRIPPER: (CHUCKLES)
Oh, let me get a picture...

1338
01:01:57,756 --> 01:01:58,966
Hannah!

1339
01:01:59,133 --> 01:02:00,175
Hi!

1340
01:02:00,551 --> 01:02:01,802
CLARENCE ON PHONE:
<i>Hannah! Baby.</i>

1341
01:02:01,969 --> 01:02:02,970
Hi, baby.

1342
01:02:03,137 --> 01:02:05,013
Oh, I miss you so much, baby.

1343
01:02:05,180 --> 01:02:06,348
How are you?

1344
01:02:06,765 --> 01:02:08,016
Not good.

1345
01:02:08,183 --> 01:02:09,435
Wait, where are you?

1346
01:02:09,977 --> 01:02:12,104
Oh, God. Oh... Huh?

1347
01:02:12,271 --> 01:02:14,064
What? No. I'm just out with Rell.

1348
01:02:14,231 --> 01:02:15,315
<i>I'm doing me!</i>

1349
01:02:15,482 --> 01:02:17,651
- Are you at a club?
- CLARENCE: <i>Yeah.</i>

1350
01:02:17,818 --> 01:02:20,529
In fact, it's of the strip club variety,

1351
01:02:20,696 --> 01:02:22,406
and I've never done that,

1352
01:02:22,573 --> 01:02:25,659
and I'm just having some
really rugged fun, you know?

1353
01:02:25,826 --> 01:02:29,037
So, you're at a strip club
having rugged fun.

1354
01:02:29,204 --> 01:02:30,998
Yeah. No, it's not like that.

1355
01:02:31,165 --> 01:02:33,792
It's not about the degrading
of women or anything.

1356
01:02:33,959 --> 01:02:35,669
I'm here for a very specific reason.

1357
01:02:35,836 --> 01:02:38,088
<i>And... No, that didn't sound right.</i>

1358
01:02:38,255 --> 01:02:39,298
<i>I'm sorry.</i>

1359
01:02:40,007 --> 01:02:41,008
It's complicated.

1360
01:02:41,175 --> 01:02:42,176
I'll explain it to you tomorrow.

1361
01:02:42,342 --> 01:02:43,719
But it's all good. It's nothing bad.

1362
01:02:43,886 --> 01:02:45,679
Okay. Okay. Whatever.

1363
01:02:45,846 --> 01:02:46,847
But, baby...

1364
01:02:47,014 --> 01:02:49,057
This is what you said you wanted, right?

1365
01:02:49,224 --> 01:02:50,684
You said to have fun.

1366
01:02:50,851 --> 01:02:52,227
HANNAH: <i>Whatever, Clarence. Whatever.</i>

1367
01:02:52,394 --> 01:02:55,314
<i>I just didn't think that
being in a strip club was your thing.</i>

1368
01:02:55,481 --> 01:02:57,983
Yeah, well, you know... Shit. I mean...

1369
01:02:58,150 --> 01:03:00,194
What'd you think my idea
of fun was, right?

1370
01:03:00,360 --> 01:03:02,571
It ain't like my fuckin'
lifestyle is some secret.

1371
01:03:02,738 --> 01:03:04,698
Why are you talking to me like that?

1372
01:03:04,865 --> 01:03:06,575
- MAN: See about it, then.
- What?

1373
01:03:06,742 --> 01:03:08,368
I said, why are you
talking to me like that?

1374
01:03:08,535 --> 01:03:10,704
I've never heard you
talk to me like that before.

1375
01:03:10,871 --> 01:03:13,081
I mean... I talk like that sometimes.

1376
01:03:13,248 --> 01:03:15,083
Yeah. All right. Okay.

1377
01:03:15,250 --> 01:03:16,668
Wait, what's wrong?

1378
01:03:16,835 --> 01:03:18,420
This is what you asked for, right?

1379
01:03:18,587 --> 01:03:21,048
Fine. I'm fine. Everything's fine.

1380
01:03:21,215 --> 01:03:22,216
I didn't want to ruin your weekend.

1381
01:03:22,382 --> 01:03:23,383
I just want you to know

1382
01:03:23,550 --> 01:03:25,677
that Spencer's been
a little inappropriate,

1383
01:03:25,844 --> 01:03:28,680
and I'm coming home tomorrow morning
instead of tomorrow night.

1384
01:03:29,223 --> 01:03:30,933
Inappropriate?

1385
01:03:32,810 --> 01:03:34,603
Spencer was inappropriate how?

1386
01:03:34,770 --> 01:03:36,563
HANNAH: <i>Let's just say
he made me uncomfortable.</i>

1387
01:03:36,730 --> 01:03:38,565
<i>I can't get into it right now.</i>

1388
01:03:38,732 --> 01:03:40,234
Baby, I gotta go.

1389
01:03:40,400 --> 01:03:42,569
You better behave yourself, too. Bye.

1390
01:03:42,736 --> 01:03:43,904
No, Hannah, please
don't hang up the phone.

1391
01:03:44,071 --> 01:03:45,614
Can you just explain to me
what's going on right now?

1392
01:03:45,781 --> 01:03:47,282
- Hannah!
- (DOOR OPENS)

1393
01:03:47,449 --> 01:03:48,742
Hannah!

1394
01:03:48,909 --> 01:03:50,577
TRUNK: <i>Yo, this party is crazy!</i>

1395
01:03:51,787 --> 01:03:52,788
Oh.

1396
01:03:53,747 --> 01:03:55,332
Hey. (SNIFFLES)

1397
01:03:56,708 --> 01:03:57,793
You aight?

1398
01:03:58,585 --> 01:04:00,045
Yeah, nigga. Yeah.

1399
01:04:00,212 --> 01:04:02,256
You know, just side bitch.

1400
01:04:02,798 --> 01:04:03,924
Word, uh...

1401
01:04:04,299 --> 01:04:07,094
Well, Cheddar wants to holla at you.

1402
01:04:07,261 --> 01:04:08,512
Cool, yeah.

1403
01:04:09,596 --> 01:04:11,765
I'll let him know you're coming.

1404
01:04:16,770 --> 01:04:18,105
CHEDDAR: <i>So, uh...</i>

1405
01:04:18,772 --> 01:04:21,775
Hi-C tells me
y'all some bad motherfuckers.

1406
01:04:21,942 --> 01:04:24,570
Even taught my goons some new tricks.

1407
01:04:25,779 --> 01:04:29,324
Yeah, we taught them
how we do things in Allentown.

1408
01:04:29,783 --> 01:04:31,201
CHEDDAR: <i>Yeah, well, um...</i>

1409
01:04:31,368 --> 01:04:34,204
I got a big exchange tomorrow. I need you.

1410
01:04:34,538 --> 01:04:36,957
<i>Help keep shit 100.
You know what I'm saying?</i>

1411
01:04:37,124 --> 01:04:38,667
After that,

1412
01:04:39,209 --> 01:04:41,795
- New Jack here is yours.
- RELL: <i>Um...</i>

1413
01:04:42,838 --> 01:04:46,466
I think we'd prefer to stick
to the original arrangement.

1414
01:04:46,633 --> 01:04:47,968
You know what I'm saying?

1415
01:04:49,094 --> 01:04:50,470
Okay, I see.

1416
01:04:51,471 --> 01:04:52,931
Driving up the price.

1417
01:04:53,473 --> 01:04:55,642
Okay, 10 G's plus New Jack.

1418
01:04:56,768 --> 01:04:57,895
Nah.

1419
01:04:58,270 --> 01:04:59,438
<i>Cheddar.</i>

1420
01:04:59,813 --> 01:05:01,189
<i>We just want the cat.</i>

1421
01:05:01,773 --> 01:05:04,693
Shark Tank and I,
we getting a little sleepy.

1422
01:05:05,444 --> 01:05:06,445
Sleepy?

1423
01:05:06,612 --> 01:05:09,489
Hell, yeah, nigga, we sleepy.

1424
01:05:10,490 --> 01:05:12,534
And when them Allentown niggas get tired,

1425
01:05:12,701 --> 01:05:14,286
we gotta catch some Z's,

1426
01:05:14,453 --> 01:05:17,205
or else Allentown niggas get cranky.

1427
01:05:19,207 --> 01:05:20,250
20.

1428
01:05:21,710 --> 01:05:23,170
<i>Straight up.</i>

1429
01:05:23,337 --> 01:05:26,423
Now, I know y'all ain't
gonna turn down 20 G's.

1430
01:05:27,007 --> 01:05:28,050
I mean, shit.

1431
01:05:28,216 --> 01:05:31,219
That's a lot of money even by
Allentown standards, right?

1432
01:05:31,887 --> 01:05:32,888
Well...

1433
01:05:33,055 --> 01:05:35,641
Let me tell you about Allentown standards.

1434
01:05:37,559 --> 01:05:39,978
By Allentown standards,

1435
01:05:40,145 --> 01:05:41,730
when a nigga make a deal,

1436
01:05:43,023 --> 01:05:45,400
a nigga make a goddamn deal.

1437
01:05:45,901 --> 01:05:46,944
Ooh... Shark...

1438
01:05:47,110 --> 01:05:49,571
And didn't nobody say nothing

1439
01:05:49,738 --> 01:05:52,532
<i>about no exchange tomorrow.</i>

1440
01:05:53,408 --> 01:05:56,286
So, let me tell you
how it's gonna go down.

1441
01:05:57,245 --> 01:06:00,082
You gonna give us our goddamn cat,

1442
01:06:00,248 --> 01:06:04,086
and we gonna be on our
goddamn way, Spencer!

1443
01:06:04,252 --> 01:06:05,504
Uh, Cheddar.

1444
01:06:09,424 --> 01:06:11,760
Take pimpin' upstairs
to the office for me.

1445
01:06:11,927 --> 01:06:14,763
- Give him some of that catnip he like.
- Mmm-hmm.

1446
01:06:18,850 --> 01:06:20,060
You know, um,

1447
01:06:21,687 --> 01:06:23,313
maybe, just maybe,

1448
01:06:23,480 --> 01:06:25,774
just take a little time
to think about my offer.

1449
01:06:25,941 --> 01:06:27,859
We don't need time. We need...

1450
01:06:28,026 --> 01:06:29,069
Time is good.

1451
01:06:29,236 --> 01:06:31,238
We need some time. You need some time.

1452
01:06:31,405 --> 01:06:33,198
We'll take some. You take some.

1453
01:06:33,365 --> 01:06:36,410
You do it here. We'll do it over here.

1454
01:06:38,620 --> 01:06:40,414
- What are you doing?
- What am I doing?

1455
01:06:40,580 --> 01:06:41,915
This motherfucker trying to side wind us.

1456
01:06:42,082 --> 01:06:43,250
What the fuck are you doing, Tech?

1457
01:06:43,417 --> 01:06:45,752
I'm not Tech. I'm not Tech.
I'm Rell. Clarence.

1458
01:06:45,919 --> 01:06:47,587
Well, I was staying in character.

1459
01:06:47,754 --> 01:06:50,549
What are you, Daniel Day-Lewis
all of a sudden? Come on, man!

1460
01:06:50,716 --> 01:06:52,592
Look, I spoke to Hannah on the phone,

1461
01:06:52,759 --> 01:06:55,303
- and she said that Spencer did something.
- What?

1462
01:06:55,470 --> 01:06:56,930
She wouldn't tell me, man. She hung up!

1463
01:06:57,097 --> 01:06:58,098
Okay...

1464
01:06:58,265 --> 01:07:00,976
It can't be that bad if she didn't say.

1465
01:07:02,436 --> 01:07:05,480
You almost got us killed, man, okay?

1466
01:07:05,647 --> 01:07:07,274
Look, Keanu needs you.

1467
01:07:07,441 --> 01:07:09,818
I need you. I need you.

1468
01:07:11,820 --> 01:07:12,946
- Okay?
- Yeah.

1469
01:07:13,113 --> 01:07:14,281
Okay. Then come on.

1470
01:07:14,448 --> 01:07:15,615
Okay. I'm good. I'm good.

1471
01:07:15,782 --> 01:07:17,784
All right. Let's get Keanu.
Let's get out of here.

1472
01:07:17,951 --> 01:07:18,994
CLARENCE: Yes.

1473
01:07:29,671 --> 01:07:31,673
Watch the door. Keanu!

1474
01:07:32,132 --> 01:07:33,341
Keanu!

1475
01:07:37,929 --> 01:07:39,639
I said I was gonna take care of you.

1476
01:07:40,182 --> 01:07:41,975
- (CRYING) And I failed.
- (MEOWS)

1477
01:07:42,851 --> 01:07:44,561
But I'm here now.

1478
01:07:45,812 --> 01:07:46,980
Get that off you.

1479
01:07:47,147 --> 01:07:48,815
I'm here for you, buddy.

1480
01:07:48,982 --> 01:07:50,400
I love you.

1481
01:07:53,904 --> 01:07:55,072
Okay.

1482
01:07:55,405 --> 01:07:57,074
All right, go, go, go. Just walk.

1483
01:07:57,240 --> 01:07:58,784
I see. I get it now,

1484
01:07:58,950 --> 01:08:00,160
because when I stand up for myself,

1485
01:08:00,327 --> 01:08:01,661
that means I'm standing up
for Hannah and Belle,

1486
01:08:01,828 --> 01:08:02,871
and when I don't stand up for myself,

1487
01:08:03,038 --> 01:08:04,081
I'm not standing up for them.

1488
01:08:04,247 --> 01:08:07,000
Clarence, you can keep on talking,
but just know, I think we just won.

1489
01:08:07,501 --> 01:08:08,502
Oh.

1490
01:08:08,668 --> 01:08:10,170
Oh, my gosh, you're right.

1491
01:08:10,337 --> 01:08:11,713
Gosh, that was so weird, wasn't it?

1492
01:08:11,880 --> 01:08:13,340
I mean, we just walked right out of there.

1493
01:08:13,507 --> 01:08:15,092
(MUFFLED SHOUTING)

1494
01:08:27,187 --> 01:08:28,438
Biscuits.

1495
01:08:32,943 --> 01:08:34,027
CLARENCE: Hey, buddy.

1496
01:08:34,194 --> 01:08:35,278
Hey.

1497
01:08:42,536 --> 01:08:45,372
Oh... Fuck me.

1498
01:08:45,539 --> 01:08:46,581
What?

1499
01:08:46,873 --> 01:08:48,416
CLARENCE: Oh, you know what?

1500
01:08:48,583 --> 01:08:50,001
Guess you don't know who you messing with

1501
01:08:50,168 --> 01:08:52,629
because you being
crazy disrespectful right now.

1502
01:08:52,796 --> 01:08:55,966
Hey! If you fucking touch
one hair on my cat's head,

1503
01:08:56,133 --> 01:08:57,175
I will kill you!

1504
01:08:57,801 --> 01:09:00,387
- (SCREAMS) Help!
- Never mind.

1505
01:09:00,554 --> 01:09:01,763
(BOTH SHOUTING)

1506
01:09:01,930 --> 01:09:03,223
RELL: <i>Okay, yes, yes.</i>

1507
01:09:03,974 --> 01:09:05,392
Putting them down. Putting the guns down.

1508
01:09:05,559 --> 01:09:06,893
Yes, that's good.
Yes, thank you, thank you!

1509
01:09:07,060 --> 01:09:08,061
<i>- Hey.
- Thank you.</i>

1510
01:09:09,896 --> 01:09:11,565
- They like Keanu.
- That's good.

1511
01:09:11,731 --> 01:09:13,900
CLARENCE: <i>We do, too.
We like Keanu as well.</i>

1512
01:09:14,067 --> 01:09:15,735
Everybody here seems to like Keanu,

1513
01:09:15,902 --> 01:09:18,238
so we can agree on that, right, guys?

1514
01:09:18,405 --> 01:09:20,157
Hey, we're fun dudes. We're friends!

1515
01:09:20,323 --> 01:09:22,576
CLARENCE: <i>Please!
What do you want from us?</i>

1516
01:09:22,742 --> 01:09:24,619
<i>- Oh, God!</i>
- Oh, fuck.

1517
01:09:24,786 --> 01:09:26,246
Oh, my God. Are those tiny penises?

1518
01:09:26,413 --> 01:09:27,455
RELL: No!

1519
01:09:27,622 --> 01:09:30,167
Please, Lord, let those be fingers.

1520
01:09:30,333 --> 01:09:31,960
They're fucking fingers, man.
They're fucking fingers.

1521
01:09:32,127 --> 01:09:33,420
CLARENCE: (EXCLAIMING)
<i>Oh, my God!</i>

1522
01:09:33,587 --> 01:09:35,589
(SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

1523
01:09:37,257 --> 01:09:38,842
Hey! Listen, if you let us go,

1524
01:09:39,009 --> 01:09:40,260
I might be able to get you visitor passes

1525
01:09:40,427 --> 01:09:42,679
to a meeting of the Senate
Foreign Relations Committee

1526
01:09:42,846 --> 01:09:43,972
if they're not in a closed session!

1527
01:09:44,139 --> 01:09:45,140
Oh, my gosh!

1528
01:09:49,561 --> 01:09:50,604
That just worked.

1529
01:09:50,770 --> 01:09:53,273
I don't fucking know how that worked.

1530
01:09:53,440 --> 01:09:54,774
CLARENCE: <i>I have a friend.
I have a friend.</i>

1531
01:09:54,941 --> 01:09:56,776
A friend of mine went to grade
school with the speechwriter

1532
01:09:56,943 --> 01:09:58,987
<i>for John Kerry, a former
presidential candidate.</i>

1533
01:09:59,154 --> 01:10:00,530
Oh, my God. I think this is working.

1534
01:10:00,697 --> 01:10:02,157
<i>- No.
- Why would this be working?</i>

1535
01:10:02,324 --> 01:10:05,869
I think that they
are going to murder us to death!

1536
01:10:06,036 --> 01:10:07,204
CLARENCE: (CRYING) <i>Oh, my God!</i>

1537
01:10:07,370 --> 01:10:09,372
Lord save me now, please!

1538
01:10:09,539 --> 01:10:10,957
(CRYING) Oh, fuck.

1539
01:10:12,125 --> 01:10:13,293
(MEOWING)

1540
01:10:14,836 --> 01:10:15,837
Keanu.

1541
01:10:18,882 --> 01:10:20,967
No! What is that one?

1542
01:10:22,052 --> 01:10:24,304
- Why are you doing this?
- Buddy...

1543
01:10:24,471 --> 01:10:26,681
CLARENCE: <i>Gentlemen, please,
why can't we just talk about this?</i>

1544
01:10:26,848 --> 01:10:27,974
<i>Can't we just...</i>

1545
01:10:28,141 --> 01:10:29,142
RELL: (WHISPERS)
Okay, ready?

1546
01:10:29,309 --> 01:10:30,310
CLARENCE: <i>Just take a deep breath...</i>

1547
01:10:30,477 --> 01:10:31,478
Get that bitch!

1548
01:10:33,271 --> 01:10:34,522
Get that bitch!

1549
01:10:35,482 --> 01:10:37,525
Get that bitch.

1550
01:10:37,692 --> 01:10:39,236
Yeah, get that bitch!

1551
01:10:41,947 --> 01:10:43,531
Get that, bitch!

1552
01:10:45,325 --> 01:10:46,993
No, not the fucking knife.

1553
01:10:47,160 --> 01:10:48,203
Man.

1554
01:10:48,370 --> 01:10:49,537
<i>I'm saying...</i>

1555
01:10:49,704 --> 01:10:50,914
I don't know what I'm saying.

1556
01:10:51,081 --> 01:10:54,000
I don't know... Wait, wait, wait.
I think we're gonna need more time.

1557
01:10:54,167 --> 01:10:55,252
Just give us a little bit more time.

1558
01:10:55,418 --> 01:10:57,671
Sir, I'm begging you, please.

1559
01:10:57,837 --> 01:10:59,589
<i>Think about, dig in to
yourselves, into your souls.</i>

1560
01:10:59,756 --> 01:11:01,841
Why would you have to
do something like this?

1561
01:11:02,008 --> 01:11:03,009
RELL: Please, no.

1562
01:11:03,176 --> 01:11:04,469
Oh, God. Oh, God.

1563
01:11:05,011 --> 01:11:06,221
<i>Oh, my God.</i> (CRYING)

1564
01:11:09,391 --> 01:11:11,017
(GRUNTING) I got you!

1565
01:11:11,184 --> 01:11:13,061
Yes! (LAUGHS)

1566
01:11:14,354 --> 01:11:15,689
Yes! Yes! Oh, God, yes!

1567
01:11:15,855 --> 01:11:17,524
Yes, yes, yes. Oh, yes, Rell.

1568
01:11:17,691 --> 01:11:19,025
- Back up!
- Thank you, God, for this!

1569
01:11:19,192 --> 01:11:20,527
Back up!

1570
01:11:20,694 --> 01:11:22,487
Okay. Yes. We gotcha!

1571
01:11:22,654 --> 01:11:24,698
Fucking got you, motherfucker!

1572
01:11:24,864 --> 01:11:26,992
CLARENCE: Just don't move, all right?

1573
01:11:27,158 --> 01:11:29,411
We're gonna take our cat,
and we're gonna be on our way!

1574
01:11:29,577 --> 01:11:30,996
- If you don't mind.
- Keanu!

1575
01:11:31,162 --> 01:11:32,205
- Keanu!
- Keanu!

1576
01:11:32,831 --> 01:11:33,915
CLARENCE: <i>Keanu!</i>

1577
01:11:34,541 --> 01:11:35,875
Keanu!

1578
01:11:36,042 --> 01:11:37,711
Drop the fucking... Hey, back up!

1579
01:11:37,877 --> 01:11:39,671
What are you doing? Stop moving forward!

1580
01:11:39,838 --> 01:11:40,880
RELL: <i>Stop walking!</i>

1581
01:11:41,047 --> 01:11:42,090
CLARENCE: <i>Stop walking toward us!</i>

1582
01:11:42,257 --> 01:11:43,383
Stay right there!

1583
01:11:43,550 --> 01:11:44,676
CLARENCE: <i>Why are you walking toward us?</i>

1584
01:11:44,843 --> 01:11:46,052
<i>Why are you walking toward us?</i>

1585
01:11:46,219 --> 01:11:47,762
Hey, knock it off! Knock it off!

1586
01:11:47,929 --> 01:11:50,265
<i>We will fire these guns and
shoot bullets into your body.</i>

1587
01:11:50,432 --> 01:11:52,517
Count of three.
We gotta fucking shoot them.

1588
01:11:52,684 --> 01:11:54,561
I can't shoot them!
I will not kill somebody.

1589
01:11:54,728 --> 01:11:56,396
- Clarence, we gotta do it!
- I cannot do it!

1590
01:11:56,563 --> 01:11:57,605
Okay, one...

1591
01:12:00,859 --> 01:12:02,235
(SCREAMS)

1592
01:12:03,069 --> 01:12:04,571
(BREATHING HEAVILY)

1593
01:12:08,158 --> 01:12:09,242
I said the count of three.

1594
01:12:09,409 --> 01:12:10,535
I know. I'm sorry.

1595
01:12:10,702 --> 01:12:12,454
- I said the count of three.
- I heard you say...

1596
01:12:12,620 --> 01:12:14,122
- Yeah.
- I heard it. Oh, my God!

1597
01:12:14,289 --> 01:12:15,582
We've killed people!

1598
01:12:15,749 --> 01:12:17,000
Why "we"?

1599
01:12:17,167 --> 01:12:18,418
Why "we"? No, you did it!

1600
01:12:18,585 --> 01:12:20,045
- What, no!
- I didn't shoot anybody.

1601
01:12:21,338 --> 01:12:22,464
(SHOUTING)

1602
01:12:29,971 --> 01:12:31,473
(BREATHING HEAVILY)

1603
01:12:32,432 --> 01:12:33,725
Okay.

1604
01:12:34,100 --> 01:12:35,435
Okay, we just murdered those people.

1605
01:12:35,602 --> 01:12:36,770
- That's okay. All right.
- Okay.

1606
01:12:36,936 --> 01:12:39,773
- We should go. We should go.
- Ah...

1607
01:12:39,981 --> 01:12:41,316
Keanu!

1608
01:12:41,483 --> 01:12:42,817
Here, kitty, kitty!
(CLICKING TONGUE)

1609
01:12:42,984 --> 01:12:44,194
Oh, God.

1610
01:12:44,361 --> 01:12:45,945
Uh... Kitty, kitty!

1611
01:12:46,780 --> 01:12:48,281
BOTH: Keanu!

1612
01:13:05,548 --> 01:13:07,675
Thought y'all motherfuckers was dead.

1613
01:13:08,468 --> 01:13:10,720
<i>Didn't say goodbye or nothing.</i>

1614
01:13:10,887 --> 01:13:12,722
Oh, and my cat, New Jack?

1615
01:13:12,889 --> 01:13:16,017
<i>The one I would never give up
to two niggas like y'all?</i>

1616
01:13:16,184 --> 01:13:17,769
<i>He was gone, too.</i>

1617
01:13:17,936 --> 01:13:20,021
And now I see that you are, in fact,

1618
01:13:20,188 --> 01:13:22,816
holding that nigga New Jack as we speak.

1619
01:13:22,982 --> 01:13:24,234
Hi-C,

1620
01:13:24,651 --> 01:13:26,069
get my cat.

1621
01:13:27,737 --> 01:13:28,988
(KEANU MEOWS)

1622
01:13:30,990 --> 01:13:32,200
(BANGING)

1623
01:13:32,450 --> 01:13:33,993
HULKA: <i>Hey, hey, you two!</i>

1624
01:13:34,911 --> 01:13:35,912
What's that?

1625
01:13:36,079 --> 01:13:37,163
That?

1626
01:13:38,456 --> 01:13:39,999
That's just a nigga in the trunk, man.

1627
01:13:40,166 --> 01:13:41,584
What you think? (CHUCKLES)

1628
01:13:41,751 --> 01:13:43,378
CLARENCE: Because that's
how we roll, motherfucker.

1629
01:13:43,545 --> 01:13:44,587
That's our car.

1630
01:13:44,754 --> 01:13:46,673
We be putting niggas
in this trunk all the time.

1631
01:13:46,840 --> 01:13:49,008
This the last day this
motherfucker's alive, man.

1632
01:13:49,175 --> 01:13:50,176
HULKA: <i>Oh, shit! Don't kill me!</i>

1633
01:13:50,343 --> 01:13:51,803
CLARENCE: <i>Oh, shit.</i>
RELL: <i>What?</i>

1634
01:13:51,970 --> 01:13:53,012
Oh, Rell!

1635
01:13:53,179 --> 01:13:54,681
<i>Rell's cousin! Fuck!</i>

1636
01:13:54,848 --> 01:13:56,099
Make sure you got your keys.

1637
01:13:56,266 --> 01:13:57,475
Here's the deal, man.

1638
01:13:57,642 --> 01:13:59,686
This nigga right here? He stole your cat.

1639
01:13:59,853 --> 01:14:00,854
That's him.

1640
01:14:01,020 --> 01:14:02,647
We just got your cat back for you.

1641
01:14:02,814 --> 01:14:04,107
HULKA: <i>That is a hurtful lie!</i>

1642
01:14:04,274 --> 01:14:05,275
HI-C: <i>Yo, Cheddar.</i>

1643
01:14:05,442 --> 01:14:06,443
That's Hulka.

1644
01:14:06,609 --> 01:14:08,945
<i>That's whose apartment that Trunk and Bud
stole the cat from.</i>

1645
01:14:09,112 --> 01:14:10,613
He probably tryin' to steal him back.

1646
01:14:10,780 --> 01:14:12,449
HULKA: <i>Yo, it wasn't my place!
It was their place!</i>

1647
01:14:12,615 --> 01:14:13,741
RELL: <i>There you go.</i>
CLARENCE: <i>That's what happened.</i>

1648
01:14:13,908 --> 01:14:15,702
- Your girl know what's up.
- (CHEDDAR SHUSHING)

1649
01:14:15,869 --> 01:14:17,203
Give me the keys. Give me the keys.

1650
01:14:17,370 --> 01:14:18,997
You don't need to...

1651
01:14:19,622 --> 01:14:20,623
HULKA: <i>Cheddar. Look,</i>

1652
01:14:20,790 --> 01:14:21,791
<i>I don't even know if you remember this.</i>

1653
01:14:21,958 --> 01:14:24,043
I met you at the club once. Hulka. Hulka.

1654
01:14:24,210 --> 01:14:25,211
<i>Look, come on, man...</i>

1655
01:14:25,378 --> 01:14:26,379
Kill this motherfucker.

1656
01:14:26,546 --> 01:14:28,673
- What? No! Come on, man!
- CLARENCE: Kill him?

1657
01:14:28,840 --> 01:14:31,176
Like, end his life so
the motherfucker expires?

1658
01:14:31,342 --> 01:14:32,677
Take the soul out of his body?

1659
01:14:32,844 --> 01:14:34,471
But we can't do that,
and I'll tell you why.

1660
01:14:34,637 --> 01:14:35,972
Because we don't have a gun.

1661
01:14:36,139 --> 01:14:37,474
- We ain't got no guns.
- That's why.

1662
01:14:37,640 --> 01:14:38,725
This...

1663
01:14:41,311 --> 01:14:43,438
- Thank you.
- Appreciate it.

1664
01:14:43,605 --> 01:14:45,064
- Thanks for the gun.
- I really appreciate it.

1665
01:14:45,231 --> 01:14:47,233
You looking out, and that's why
I respect you, Cheddar.

1666
01:14:47,400 --> 01:14:50,361
CLARENCE: <i>That was
efficient as fuck. Um...</i>

1667
01:14:51,738 --> 01:14:53,406
Hey, you know what, Techtonic?

1668
01:14:53,573 --> 01:14:54,908
What's that?

1669
01:14:55,909 --> 01:14:57,368
Do the honors, dawg.

1670
01:14:59,370 --> 01:15:01,080
You one considerate motherfucker.

1671
01:15:01,247 --> 01:15:03,500
- I do what I can, dirt.
- Just do it!

1672
01:15:04,250 --> 01:15:05,793
HULKA: (CRYING)
<i>No, no, please don't!</i>

1673
01:15:05,960 --> 01:15:07,587
Don't kill me. Don't shoot me!
I don't want to die.

1674
01:15:07,962 --> 01:15:09,881
<i>Come on, I just want to build motorcycles,</i>

1675
01:15:10,048 --> 01:15:12,383
<i>and be a stunt man in my spare time, yo!</i>

1676
01:15:12,550 --> 01:15:14,594
<i>Oh, God, I didn't want this.</i>

1677
01:15:14,844 --> 01:15:16,513
<i>Rell, Rell.</i>

1678
01:15:17,180 --> 01:15:18,264
Come on, bro.

1679
01:15:20,391 --> 01:15:21,684
Fucking do it.

1680
01:15:23,436 --> 01:15:24,479
Can't do it!

1681
01:15:27,440 --> 01:15:29,943
And you have many more guns than I do.

1682
01:15:30,109 --> 01:15:31,861
So, I give you this one.

1683
01:15:32,028 --> 01:15:33,530
Y'all ain't from fuckin' Allentown.

1684
01:15:33,696 --> 01:15:34,822
Fuckin' knew it.

1685
01:15:34,989 --> 01:15:36,407
In a sense,

1686
01:15:36,574 --> 01:15:38,743
aren't we all from Allentown?

1687
01:15:38,910 --> 01:15:42,455
George Michael is
a real nigga, though, right?

1688
01:15:42,622 --> 01:15:44,624
He's not black. I lied about that.

1689
01:15:44,791 --> 01:15:46,000
He is not black, and I apologize.

1690
01:15:46,167 --> 01:15:47,168
Nah!

1691
01:15:47,335 --> 01:15:49,170
And he probably
had a fuckin' father figure

1692
01:15:49,337 --> 01:15:50,713
the whole fuckin' time.

1693
01:15:52,173 --> 01:15:53,716
(STAMMERS)
I can't speak to that.

1694
01:15:53,883 --> 01:15:54,926
<i>I don't know the man personally.</i>

1695
01:15:55,093 --> 01:15:56,594
Bitch, shut the fuck up!

1696
01:15:56,761 --> 01:15:57,887
You don't get to talk!

1697
01:15:58,638 --> 01:16:00,306
Y'all talk too damn much.

1698
01:16:00,682 --> 01:16:03,476
- I don't talk that much.
- What?

1699
01:16:04,143 --> 01:16:05,436
Take this nigga out.

1700
01:16:05,603 --> 01:16:06,938
HULKA: <i>No! Please!</i>

1701
01:16:07,105 --> 01:16:08,481
Not in front of us.
Please, not in front of us.

1702
01:16:09,607 --> 01:16:10,650
Oh.

1703
01:16:10,817 --> 01:16:13,528
Just taking me out from the trunk?
Oh, thank you.

1704
01:16:14,279 --> 01:16:15,530
And put him in our trunk.

1705
01:16:15,697 --> 01:16:16,990
HULKA: <i>Aw, man.</i>

1706
01:16:17,156 --> 01:16:18,199
Okay. Okay.

1707
01:16:18,366 --> 01:16:19,993
Well, anything better
than being shot, you heard?

1708
01:16:20,159 --> 01:16:22,829
Right? Oh, I stand corrected! No, no, no!

1709
01:16:23,621 --> 01:16:24,998
No, no, no!

1710
01:16:25,206 --> 01:16:26,541
(SCREAMING)

1711
01:16:28,042 --> 01:16:29,252
No, no, no!

1712
01:16:29,419 --> 01:16:31,170
Oh, this is fucking gross!

1713
01:16:31,337 --> 01:16:32,922
Oh, this is fuckin'...

1714
01:16:33,339 --> 01:16:34,465
(HULKA SCREAMING)

1715
01:16:36,634 --> 01:16:37,677
HULKA: (MUFFLED) <i>Motherfucker!</i>

1716
01:16:37,844 --> 01:16:39,971
- So, my name is Rell.
- And I am Clarence.

1717
01:16:40,138 --> 01:16:41,222
Look.

1718
01:16:41,389 --> 01:16:43,182
You two morons is coming with us.

1719
01:16:43,349 --> 01:16:46,686
Allentown or not, y'all gonna
be my Allentown niggas today.

1720
01:16:47,562 --> 01:16:51,232
You do anything stupid,
and you're fuckin' dead.

1721
01:16:51,649 --> 01:16:52,650
- Okay.
- Yep.

1722
01:16:52,817 --> 01:16:54,235
That goes without saying at this point.

1723
01:16:54,402 --> 01:16:56,029
That gun is so close to my head.

1724
01:16:56,195 --> 01:16:57,739
Is that necessary?

1725
01:17:34,150 --> 01:17:36,611
Welcome to my home, guys. How you doing?

1726
01:17:36,778 --> 01:17:40,031
Anything? Beer, wine, liquor, girls?

1727
01:17:40,198 --> 01:17:41,240
Videogames?

1728
01:17:43,284 --> 01:17:44,327
No?

1729
01:17:44,744 --> 01:17:46,537
Bacon Diaz.

1730
01:17:47,747 --> 01:17:49,248
I heard you had a baller crib,

1731
01:17:49,415 --> 01:17:52,627
but this is practically
Neverland fuckin' Ranch out here.

1732
01:17:53,252 --> 01:17:55,463
Thank you. Thanks.

1733
01:17:55,630 --> 01:17:57,715
Who the fuck is...

1734
01:17:57,882 --> 01:17:59,092
That's them.

1735
01:17:59,258 --> 01:18:00,301
That's them?

1736
01:18:00,468 --> 01:18:02,303
CHEDDAR: <i>The Allentown niggas.</i>

1737
01:18:02,929 --> 01:18:04,389
<i>Los Phantomas?</i>

1738
01:18:04,972 --> 01:18:07,433
Yep. They the ones
that killed your cousin.

1739
01:18:08,476 --> 01:18:10,478
And we here to collect the bounty.

1740
01:18:10,645 --> 01:18:11,688
Wait...

1741
01:18:11,854 --> 01:18:14,065
No fuckin' way these guys
could be the <i>Phantomas,</i> man.

1742
01:18:14,232 --> 01:18:15,608
They're like shadows, man.

1743
01:18:15,775 --> 01:18:17,944
They're like the boogeyman
and shit, you know?

1744
01:18:18,111 --> 01:18:19,445
- No, you're right.
- Good eye.

1745
01:18:19,612 --> 01:18:21,739
But what happened was
I was trying to get my cat.

1746
01:18:21,906 --> 01:18:23,741
- CLARENCE: <i>That's his cat.
- And his name is Keanu.</i>

1747
01:18:23,908 --> 01:18:24,909
CLARENCE: <i>It's this cat right there!</i>

1748
01:18:25,076 --> 01:18:26,744
Iglesias?

1749
01:18:27,328 --> 01:18:29,288
That's my cousin's cat.

1750
01:18:30,039 --> 01:18:31,040
They took him?

1751
01:18:31,207 --> 01:18:32,500
Who? Who?

1752
01:18:32,667 --> 01:18:34,085
Oh, shit.
Somebody's getting an ass whippin'.

1753
01:18:34,252 --> 01:18:36,254
- Let's go. Come on!
- CHEDDAR: <i>Yeah!</i>

1754
01:18:36,838 --> 01:18:38,131
God damn right, they had him.

1755
01:18:38,297 --> 01:18:39,632
- We did not have him.
- No.

1756
01:18:39,799 --> 01:18:41,467
CLARENCE: No, no, no. There's no way, sir.

1757
01:18:41,634 --> 01:18:43,136
That cat just was found on his doorstep.

1758
01:18:43,302 --> 01:18:44,470
RELL: That cat's name is Keanu.

1759
01:18:44,637 --> 01:18:46,264
- I know because I named him.
- And has been his for months.

1760
01:18:46,431 --> 01:18:47,598
It's too much of a coincidence...

1761
01:18:48,349 --> 01:18:49,600
So, it was them?

1762
01:18:49,767 --> 01:18:51,144
Shit, yeah, it was them.

1763
01:18:51,310 --> 01:18:52,854
No! No, it was not us.

1764
01:18:53,020 --> 01:18:54,564
Do we got a deal or what?

1765
01:18:59,277 --> 01:19:00,528
(PURRING)

1766
01:19:01,988 --> 01:19:02,989
Deal.

1767
01:19:03,156 --> 01:19:04,157
Deal. Why is it a deal?

1768
01:19:04,323 --> 01:19:06,242
Don't make the deal,
because we're not those guys.

1769
01:19:06,409 --> 01:19:07,535
Show them.

1770
01:19:07,702 --> 01:19:09,162
Give me a second before I kill you.

1771
01:19:09,328 --> 01:19:11,664
(CRYING) Oh, God!

1772
01:19:11,831 --> 01:19:13,040
Come on, man!

1773
01:19:13,249 --> 01:19:15,543
<i>Why is everybody being hasty?</i>

1774
01:19:15,710 --> 01:19:17,128
Get Iglesias.

1775
01:19:18,963 --> 01:19:20,673
Whoa. Wait a minute.

1776
01:19:20,840 --> 01:19:22,800
I was thinking I would hold on to the cat.

1777
01:19:23,801 --> 01:19:25,720
Okay. See, there's a problem with that,

1778
01:19:25,887 --> 01:19:29,015
because Iglesias belongs to my family.

1779
01:19:29,348 --> 01:19:30,558
I wanna give him to my aunt,

1780
01:19:30,725 --> 01:19:32,518
so she can have something
to remember my cousin by.

1781
01:19:32,685 --> 01:19:33,686
<i>You know?</i>

1782
01:19:33,853 --> 01:19:35,938
<i>So, that's non-negotiable.</i>

1783
01:19:36,522 --> 01:19:38,191
Deal breaker.

1784
01:19:38,691 --> 01:19:39,901
Deal breaker.

1785
01:19:40,067 --> 01:19:41,360
Don't think too long, kid.

1786
01:19:41,527 --> 01:19:43,237
Don't think too long.

1787
01:19:45,656 --> 01:19:47,366
Aight, <i>Papi.</i>

1788
01:19:50,077 --> 01:19:51,454
CHEDDAR: Look here, man.

1789
01:19:53,206 --> 01:19:54,624
Oh, God.

1790
01:19:56,918 --> 01:19:58,127
CHEDDAR: Bottom line is...

1791
01:19:58,294 --> 01:19:59,378
Light this bitch up!

1792
01:20:02,381 --> 01:20:03,549
(GROANING)

1793
01:20:27,031 --> 01:20:28,449
HI-C: <i>Stitches!</i>

1794
01:20:28,991 --> 01:20:30,409
You need help?

1795
01:20:30,576 --> 01:20:32,119
Nah!

1796
01:20:33,412 --> 01:20:34,413
(GROANS)

1797
01:20:34,580 --> 01:20:36,249
Rell, Rell! Look, look!

1798
01:20:36,415 --> 01:20:37,792
They're communicating.

1799
01:20:38,626 --> 01:20:39,627
I'm out, I'm out, I'm out!

1800
01:20:39,794 --> 01:20:41,379
I got you!

1801
01:20:43,297 --> 01:20:44,799
(GRUNTS)

1802
01:20:45,341 --> 01:20:46,342
(GROANS)

1803
01:20:51,931 --> 01:20:52,974
Awesome!

1804
01:20:53,140 --> 01:20:54,934
I know. Yeah. Oh.

1805
01:21:01,607 --> 01:21:02,733
Hi-C!

1806
01:21:07,280 --> 01:21:08,865
Get the damn cat!

1807
01:21:09,991 --> 01:21:11,784
<i>- Get the damn cat!</i>
- RELL: Fuck!

1808
01:21:20,459 --> 01:21:21,586
No, Rell! Whoa!

1809
01:21:22,587 --> 01:21:24,755
Hey! You will die!

1810
01:21:24,922 --> 01:21:26,591
Then get my back.

1811
01:21:54,952 --> 01:21:56,662
(GROANS)

1812
01:22:07,214 --> 01:22:08,215
(GROANS)

1813
01:22:12,053 --> 01:22:13,262
(SHRIEKING)

1814
01:22:15,848 --> 01:22:16,849
(GROANS)

1815
01:22:18,017 --> 01:22:19,518
Don't tell me you just tried to flip,

1816
01:22:19,685 --> 01:22:21,228
'cause you flopped, stupid!

1817
01:22:21,395 --> 01:22:22,521
- (MEOWS)
- Give me the cat.

1818
01:22:22,688 --> 01:22:24,190
- Give me the cat.
- No! Keanu!

1819
01:22:24,357 --> 01:22:25,358
Come on, Iglesias.

1820
01:22:25,524 --> 01:22:26,567
Who's going home?

1821
01:22:26,734 --> 01:22:28,653
Going home, home...

1822
01:22:29,195 --> 01:22:30,655
Rell... No! Why!

1823
01:22:30,821 --> 01:22:31,864
He's got Keanu!

1824
01:22:32,031 --> 01:22:33,407
He's got Keanu!

1825
01:22:33,866 --> 01:22:35,159
Where'd he go?

1826
01:22:35,326 --> 01:22:36,410
Let's go.

1827
01:22:37,036 --> 01:22:39,080
I got you, Iglesias. Here we go. Okay.

1828
01:22:39,246 --> 01:22:40,539
Manny, open the car. Open the car.

1829
01:22:41,040 --> 01:22:42,083
I got Iglesias.

1830
01:22:42,708 --> 01:22:43,709
BACON: Go, go, go.

1831
01:22:43,876 --> 01:22:45,002
CLARENCE: Where are you going?

1832
01:22:45,169 --> 01:22:46,879
- Your house!
- My house?

1833
01:22:48,631 --> 01:22:50,049
What are you doing?

1834
01:22:51,008 --> 01:22:52,093
What? Rell!

1835
01:22:52,259 --> 01:22:54,553
Rell, you can't drive!

1836
01:22:56,097 --> 01:22:57,848
Unbelievable. What...

1837
01:23:13,864 --> 01:23:15,282
(TIRES SCREECHING)

1838
01:23:15,491 --> 01:23:16,492
(MEOWS)

1839
01:23:16,742 --> 01:23:18,077
- I'll shoot you!
- Oh, fuck!

1840
01:23:18,244 --> 01:23:20,246
You ain't gonna fuckin' shoot the driver!

1841
01:23:20,413 --> 01:23:21,664
BACON: What are you doing?

1842
01:23:21,831 --> 01:23:22,873
Oh, shit!

1843
01:23:23,040 --> 01:23:24,583
Yeah, motherfucker!

1844
01:23:24,750 --> 01:23:25,918
BACON: Oh, fuck! Look out!

1845
01:23:26,085 --> 01:23:27,837
I don't even know how to fuckin' drive!

1846
01:23:29,922 --> 01:23:31,590
CLARENCE: <i>I'm coming, Rell!</i>

1847
01:23:31,924 --> 01:23:33,217
- (GEARS GRINDING)
- Oh, fuck!

1848
01:23:33,384 --> 01:23:35,219
Why did I grab a stick shift?

1849
01:23:35,428 --> 01:23:36,762
(GRUNTING)

1850
01:23:37,638 --> 01:23:38,764
Whoa...

1851
01:23:42,893 --> 01:23:44,270
(SCREAMING)

1852
01:23:45,146 --> 01:23:46,272
Oh, shit!

1853
01:23:47,940 --> 01:23:48,941
Fuck, yeah!

1854
01:23:49,108 --> 01:23:50,109
BACON: Oh, shit!

1855
01:23:50,276 --> 01:23:51,277
(HONKING)

1856
01:23:52,611 --> 01:23:53,779
CLARENCE: Oh...

1857
01:23:53,946 --> 01:23:55,489
Sorry! I'm sorry.

1858
01:23:55,990 --> 01:23:58,325
Oh, my God! (EXCLAIMING)

1859
01:23:58,826 --> 01:23:59,827
Okay, here he is.

1860
01:23:59,994 --> 01:24:01,662
You're not getting away from me!

1861
01:24:01,829 --> 01:24:03,789
Red light! Coming through the red light!

1862
01:24:06,208 --> 01:24:07,293
Yo!

1863
01:24:07,460 --> 01:24:08,794
(RELL SHOUTING)

1864
01:24:10,004 --> 01:24:11,088
Whoo!

1865
01:24:11,255 --> 01:24:13,007
Oh, my God, Rell! What are you doing?

1866
01:24:13,174 --> 01:24:14,341
Right now. Turn around.

1867
01:24:14,508 --> 01:24:15,676
- (GROANS)
- (SHOUTS)

1868
01:24:15,843 --> 01:24:16,969
Shit!

1869
01:24:19,513 --> 01:24:21,474
(SHOUTS) Fuck!

1870
01:24:21,974 --> 01:24:23,142
You okay, Keanu?

1871
01:24:23,350 --> 01:24:24,393
(MEOWS)

1872
01:24:27,563 --> 01:24:29,774
Why are we going through red lights?
I'm sorry! Sorry!

1873
01:24:32,026 --> 01:24:33,319
(BOTH GRUNTING)

1874
01:24:35,321 --> 01:24:37,156
I can't fuckin' hear
what you're saying, bro!

1875
01:24:38,032 --> 01:24:39,658
Listen to me!

1876
01:24:40,451 --> 01:24:41,952
RELL: Oh, shit!

1877
01:24:45,915 --> 01:24:46,916
Oh!

1878
01:24:48,542 --> 01:24:50,169
That fuckin' hurts!

1879
01:24:50,336 --> 01:24:51,337
Okay, okay.

1880
01:24:53,172 --> 01:24:54,465
(KEANU MEOWS)

1881
01:24:55,174 --> 01:24:56,175
Keanu!

1882
01:24:56,675 --> 01:24:58,177
<i>- Come here.</i>
- (MEOWS)

1883
01:24:58,344 --> 01:24:59,887
Come here, Keanu.

1884
01:25:00,054 --> 01:25:01,847
<i>Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!</i>

1885
01:25:03,015 --> 01:25:04,517
- You come here!
- Fuck!

1886
01:25:04,683 --> 01:25:06,477
BACON: <i>I'ma punch you in the head.</i>

1887
01:25:06,644 --> 01:25:08,020
(SHOUTING)

1888
01:25:08,187 --> 01:25:09,522
(MEOWING)

1889
01:25:10,356 --> 01:25:12,149
(BOTH GRUNTING)

1890
01:25:17,279 --> 01:25:18,447
Ah...

1891
01:25:20,908 --> 01:25:21,909
Oh...

1892
01:25:22,076 --> 01:25:24,161
- (LAUGHING) Yes! Yes!
- Get him off me!

1893
01:25:24,328 --> 01:25:26,330
- (BACON GROANING)
- Get that bitch, Keanu!

1894
01:25:28,707 --> 01:25:31,043
Oh, shit!

1895
01:25:33,754 --> 01:25:34,797
RELL: Oh!

1896
01:25:49,770 --> 01:25:51,021
(GROANS)

1897
01:25:51,730 --> 01:25:52,898
Oh...

1898
01:25:53,858 --> 01:25:55,234
Fuck.

1899
01:25:57,695 --> 01:25:58,946
(GRUNTING)

1900
01:26:00,239 --> 01:26:01,699
(GROANING IN PAIN)

1901
01:26:02,575 --> 01:26:03,742
Fuck.

1902
01:26:06,745 --> 01:26:07,746
Oh...

1903
01:26:08,873 --> 01:26:10,374
Keanu!

1904
01:26:11,876 --> 01:26:13,252
Oh, man.

1905
01:26:14,378 --> 01:26:15,588
(GRUNTS)

1906
01:26:18,174 --> 01:26:19,425
Of course you're alive.

1907
01:26:22,219 --> 01:26:23,262
What?

1908
01:26:23,429 --> 01:26:25,806
You got a-fuckin'-nother gun in your ass?

1909
01:26:25,973 --> 01:26:27,224
What?

1910
01:26:29,894 --> 01:26:30,936
Shit!

1911
01:26:31,103 --> 01:26:34,899
Who the fuck taught you how to drive,
you bad-driving bitch?

1912
01:26:35,316 --> 01:26:36,901
I don't drive.

1913
01:26:39,820 --> 01:26:41,113
He does.

1914
01:26:41,947 --> 01:26:43,282
(TIRES SCREECHING)

1915
01:26:43,449 --> 01:26:45,743
- Oh... (LAUGHS)
- CLARENCE: Whoo!

1916
01:26:45,951 --> 01:26:47,244
(SCREAMING)

1917
01:26:48,495 --> 01:26:51,165
RELL: That's my cousin!
CLARENCE: I got him!

1918
01:26:51,332 --> 01:26:53,626
Clarence, you did it, man!
Fuck, you did it, cuz!

1919
01:26:53,792 --> 01:26:55,294
That was so fuckin' badass!

1920
01:26:55,461 --> 01:26:56,629
Oh, thanks, man.

1921
01:26:56,795 --> 01:26:59,131
- I can't find Keanu!
- Keanu! Shit!

1922
01:26:59,590 --> 01:27:00,633
God, ow.

1923
01:27:00,799 --> 01:27:02,635
What the fuck is wrong with you?

1924
01:27:02,801 --> 01:27:05,179
Trying to kill me with my kid's car!

1925
01:27:05,846 --> 01:27:07,223
No.

1926
01:27:07,765 --> 01:27:09,934
I'm unkillable.

1927
01:27:10,935 --> 01:27:12,061
(GUNSHOTS FIRING)

1928
01:27:12,228 --> 01:27:13,395
(SHRIEKS)

1929
01:27:18,984 --> 01:27:20,236
CHEDDAR: <i>What the fuck?</i>

1930
01:27:20,986 --> 01:27:24,365
Blips was supposed to run this game, man.

1931
01:27:24,531 --> 01:27:26,033
We supposed to own this city.

1932
01:27:26,200 --> 01:27:28,827
And y'all fuckin' ruined it.
Y'all fucked everything up.

1933
01:27:29,370 --> 01:27:30,621
<i>I lost my money.</i>

1934
01:27:30,788 --> 01:27:32,665
<i>I lost my cat.</i>

1935
01:27:33,457 --> 01:27:34,792
I still gotta get mines, though.

1936
01:27:34,959 --> 01:27:36,168
The only way I know how.

1937
01:27:36,335 --> 01:27:37,670
Cheddar!

1938
01:27:38,128 --> 01:27:39,296
You're under arrest.

1939
01:27:40,297 --> 01:27:42,174
BOTH: What?

1940
01:27:42,841 --> 01:27:44,385
Bitch, you ain't no fuckin' cop.

1941
01:27:44,551 --> 01:27:45,844
Oh, yes, I am a fuckin' cop.

1942
01:27:46,011 --> 01:27:47,721
<i>Put your weapon down.</i>

1943
01:27:52,059 --> 01:27:53,143
Now drop your weapons!

1944
01:27:53,644 --> 01:27:54,853
Trunk, drop it.

1945
01:27:56,146 --> 01:27:57,356
On the ground?

1946
01:27:57,523 --> 01:27:59,525
Yes, motherfucker, on the ground.

1947
01:27:59,900 --> 01:28:01,026
Stitches,

1948
01:28:01,402 --> 01:28:02,528
<i>drop it.</i>

1949
01:28:02,695 --> 01:28:03,862
Yeah.

1950
01:28:06,365 --> 01:28:07,408
Bud.

1951
01:28:08,075 --> 01:28:09,868
Not you, C.

1952
01:28:11,078 --> 01:28:12,871
You gonna kill me?

1953
01:28:14,373 --> 01:28:16,875
<i>All this Bliptown family shit?</i>

1954
01:28:17,042 --> 01:28:18,377
It's over.

1955
01:28:26,093 --> 01:28:27,511
Cheddar, you're under arrest.

1956
01:28:27,678 --> 01:28:29,346
Put your hands up.

1957
01:28:29,513 --> 01:28:31,557
(SIREN WAILING IN THE DISTANCE)

1958
01:28:31,724 --> 01:28:33,559
I will shoot you.

1959
01:28:36,895 --> 01:28:38,981
Don't turn your back on me.

1960
01:28:40,899 --> 01:28:42,067
Fuck you, bitch!

1961
01:28:50,659 --> 01:28:51,744
Get your hands up!

1962
01:28:51,910 --> 01:28:53,746
- I'm a cop!
- Hands up!

1963
01:28:53,912 --> 01:28:55,414
- I'm a cop!
- Get on the ground!

1964
01:28:55,581 --> 01:28:57,082
OFFICER: <i>Get on your knees.
Hands behind your head.</i>

1965
01:28:57,249 --> 01:28:59,251
- Let me see 'em!
- Now!

1966
01:28:59,585 --> 01:29:00,961
On your knees!

1967
01:29:01,128 --> 01:29:02,463
<i>Now! On your knees!</i>

1968
01:29:03,964 --> 01:29:05,883
(KEANU MEOWING)

1969
01:29:12,765 --> 01:29:14,266
Keanu!

1970
01:29:15,434 --> 01:29:16,602
(GROANING)

1971
01:29:20,606 --> 01:29:21,940
Go get him, Rell.

1972
01:29:22,107 --> 01:29:23,984
It's me. You all right?

1973
01:29:24,151 --> 01:29:26,028
Are you hurt? Are you hurt?

1974
01:29:32,326 --> 01:29:33,577
I love you.

1975
01:29:34,912 --> 01:29:36,580
We're gonna go home.

1976
01:29:39,291 --> 01:29:41,668
All right. We're good. We're gonna go.

1977
01:29:47,383 --> 01:29:48,384
SPENCER: What?

1978
01:29:48,550 --> 01:29:50,469
- Wait, no. Stay in the car!
- Why? What's going on?

1979
01:29:50,636 --> 01:29:52,304
Because there's a bunch
of dead people out here, that's why.

1980
01:29:52,513 --> 01:29:54,139
- (GROANS)
- (HANNAH SCREAMS)

1981
01:29:54,306 --> 01:29:57,101
- Honey! You punched him in the face!
- Yeah.

1982
01:29:57,267 --> 01:29:58,352
You punched him in the face.

1983
01:29:58,519 --> 01:30:00,104
I need you to fuck me right now.

1984
01:30:00,270 --> 01:30:01,855
Okay. Stay in the car!

1985
01:30:02,022 --> 01:30:03,982
Right now. Stay in the car.

1986
01:30:04,149 --> 01:30:05,234
- (GRUNTS)
- Oh, yes!

1987
01:30:14,159 --> 01:30:15,828
DETECTIVE MANK:
Well, this was a fuckin' mess.

1988
01:30:15,994 --> 01:30:17,162
Tell me about it.

1989
01:30:17,329 --> 01:30:18,831
RELL: Hey, I know you need this back.

1990
01:30:18,997 --> 01:30:20,290
He's keepin' his.

1991
01:30:20,457 --> 01:30:22,126
- Rell.
- You're doing good work.

1992
01:30:22,292 --> 01:30:24,503
We need to talk about
a few things before you go.

1993
01:30:24,670 --> 01:30:26,338
But first let me introduce you
to Officer Galloway

1994
01:30:26,505 --> 01:30:27,840
and Officer Dunn.

1995
01:30:28,006 --> 01:30:29,425
Oh, snap!

1996
01:30:29,883 --> 01:30:31,635
Right. You're alive.

1997
01:30:31,802 --> 01:30:33,679
- Sorry about that.
- RELL: Yeah.

1998
01:30:33,846 --> 01:30:35,764
I had a fantastic time.

1999
01:30:36,223 --> 01:30:37,224
That's weird.

2000
01:30:37,391 --> 01:30:38,642
BOTH: Mmm-hmm.

2001
01:30:38,851 --> 01:30:40,769
- What about Anna Faris?
- Well, she's still alive.

2002
01:30:40,936 --> 01:30:43,188
We hire celebrities all the time
to help us with cases.

2003
01:30:43,355 --> 01:30:45,149
Like Shaq or Steven Seagal.

2004
01:30:45,315 --> 01:30:46,859
No shit.

2005
01:30:47,025 --> 01:30:50,737
I'm gonna let you two
talk about that other thing.

2006
01:30:50,904 --> 01:30:52,030
Mmm.

2007
01:30:54,741 --> 01:30:56,493
"That other thing"?

2008
01:30:56,910 --> 01:30:58,912
Ooh. I like the sound of that.

2009
01:31:00,330 --> 01:31:03,709
So, what, do you need me for some kind of
top-secret mission or something?

2010
01:31:03,876 --> 01:31:06,795
No. No top-secret missions goin' on.

2011
01:31:06,962 --> 01:31:09,006
But we need to talk about your behavior.

2012
01:31:10,048 --> 01:31:11,717
You know I just wanted my cat back.

2013
01:31:11,884 --> 01:31:13,510
I know. And you got him.

2014
01:31:13,677 --> 01:31:15,429
Keanu's a cutie.

2015
01:31:17,347 --> 01:31:18,724
Damn, Hi-C.

2016
01:31:18,891 --> 01:31:20,893
Parker. Trina Parker.

2017
01:31:21,393 --> 01:31:23,020
Trina Parker.

2018
01:31:25,230 --> 01:31:26,565
I kind of liked Hi-C.

2019
01:31:26,732 --> 01:31:28,734
Well, she kind of liked you, too.

2020
01:31:31,111 --> 01:31:32,946
Well... Ow.

2021
01:31:34,907 --> 01:31:36,450
Maybe we should go somewhere.

2022
01:31:38,744 --> 01:31:40,579
Maybe we should.

2023
01:31:40,746 --> 01:31:42,414
Right to jail.

2024
01:31:42,956 --> 01:31:44,458
Whoa...

2025
01:31:45,250 --> 01:31:46,335
Mmm-hmm.

2026
01:31:46,543 --> 01:31:48,128
That makes sense.

2027
01:31:48,295 --> 01:31:50,380
Broke a lot of laws, probably.

2028
01:31:50,547 --> 01:31:52,925
Don't worry. I'll testify on your behalf.

2029
01:31:53,091 --> 01:31:55,135
- Watch him for me?
- I will.

2030
01:31:56,220 --> 01:31:57,262
And just remember, Rell.

2031
01:31:57,429 --> 01:31:59,097
There's consequences to your actions.

2032
01:31:59,264 --> 01:32:00,265
RELL: <i>Hey.</i>

2033
01:32:00,432 --> 01:32:02,184
There's consequences to your actions

2034
01:32:02,351 --> 01:32:05,103
because you gonna be
in trouble in a second.

2035
01:32:05,270 --> 01:32:06,438
- Oh, yeah?
- Hold up. Yeah.

2036
01:32:06,605 --> 01:32:08,273
I'm gonna take you on a date.

2037
01:32:08,440 --> 01:32:10,234
- Okay.
- Ow. I'm shot in the leg. Ow!

2038
01:32:10,400 --> 01:32:11,944
- (CHUCKLES)
- Ow, ow, ow!

2039
01:32:12,319 --> 01:32:14,238
You ready to go, Keanu?

2040
01:32:16,490 --> 01:32:17,991
You're a cutie.

2041
01:32:18,158 --> 01:32:20,786
I can see why he did all of that for you.

2042
01:32:27,793 --> 01:32:29,962
HULKA: (SCREAMING) <i>Help!</i>

2043
01:32:30,128 --> 01:32:31,171
<i>Help me!</i>

2044
01:32:31,630 --> 01:32:32,798
Help me!

2045
01:32:33,131 --> 01:32:34,258
Oh, thank God.

2046
01:32:34,424 --> 01:32:36,134
Yo, kill it! Kill it!

2047
01:32:36,301 --> 01:32:38,929
It hurts so bad, you don't even know.

2048
01:32:42,724 --> 01:32:43,976
(MEOWING)

2049
01:32:44,268 --> 01:32:46,311
RELL: Hasn't even
been that bad, really.

2050
01:32:46,478 --> 01:32:48,146
Clarence and I, having killed
the Allentown brothers

2051
01:32:48,313 --> 01:32:51,483
has us kind of lookin' like
crime heroes or somethin'.

2052
01:32:51,650 --> 01:32:53,735
We don't even have to
change our voice or anything.

2053
01:32:54,945 --> 01:32:57,114
Mostly it's just good to see you.

2054
01:32:57,614 --> 01:32:58,824
I love you, Keanu.

2055
01:32:59,074 --> 01:33:00,158
(MEOWS)

2056
01:33:00,367 --> 01:33:01,618
(PURRING)

2057
01:33:02,160 --> 01:33:03,161
HANNAH ON PHONE:
<i>How much longer?</i>

2058
01:33:03,328 --> 01:33:05,330
Three more weeks, baby.
That's it. 21 days.

2059
01:33:06,623 --> 01:33:07,791
And what are you gonna do to me?

2060
01:33:07,958 --> 01:33:10,210
I'm gonna take this moustache
and I'm just gonna go like...

2061
01:33:10,377 --> 01:33:11,837
Gonna rub it all over your neck.

2062
01:33:12,004 --> 01:33:13,130
- Moustache in here...
- I'm gonna put my 'stache

2063
01:33:13,297 --> 01:33:14,423
right in there. I'm just gonna...

2064
01:33:14,590 --> 01:33:15,799
(BANGING ON GLASS)

2065
01:33:15,966 --> 01:33:17,384
Hey! Quit poundin' on the glass.

2066
01:33:17,551 --> 01:33:19,344
I'm sorry, sir. I apologize.

2067
01:33:19,511 --> 01:33:21,805
That's my wife, though.
That was a love pound.

2068
01:33:26,393 --> 01:33:28,186
- Hey.
- Hey.

2069
01:33:28,562 --> 01:33:29,813
Thanks for watching him.

2070
01:33:29,980 --> 01:33:31,023
No problem.

2071
01:33:31,231 --> 01:33:33,150
He's like one of the family.

2072
01:33:33,734 --> 01:33:36,153
I do have some news for you, though.

2073
01:33:36,320 --> 01:33:37,613
What?

2074
01:33:37,779 --> 01:33:39,781
I took Keanu to the vet.

2075
01:33:41,867 --> 01:33:43,535
He has a rare disease.

2076
01:33:44,161 --> 01:33:45,412
Oh, no.

2077
01:33:46,705 --> 01:33:49,041
He's gonna be a kitten forever.

2078
01:34:12,272 --> 01:34:14,358
CLARENCE: What's going on, motherfuckers?

2079
01:34:15,108 --> 01:34:18,111
Okay. Let's do this.
Let's hold this shit down, guys.

2080
01:34:18,278 --> 01:34:20,364
<i>I'm not fuckin' around.</i>

2081
01:34:20,530 --> 01:34:22,991
- (PRISON DOOR BUZZING)
- You say somethin'?

2082
01:39:45,397 --> 01:39:46,398
English - SDH