[Satyr] Ace & Hotshot Shorts

Growing up Strong [Ace]

>"Poppa?"
>Turning your head away from the vegetables simmering in the pan, you glance back at your daughter.
>Ace has her hands threaded behind her back, rocking her weight from one leg to the other.
>You find yourself unable to hide your smile as she shifts from side to side, mixed with that uncertain but cheerful grin on her lips.
"What's up, Squirt?"
>The satyr's eyes brighten as you acknowledge her, the unconscious rocking motion quickly changing into a series of short, excited bounces.
>"How did Hotshot get in Momma's belly?"
>A chill rolls down your spine, causing your entire body to lock into place as it passes by.
>The toddler bats her eyes in the most innocent manner she can manage, her grin never once faltering.
>While you and Spitfire had never really worked out exactly how you would explain the question, you both tended to be straight shooters and it was assumed you'd be up front with both of them when they asked.
>Why then, are you hesitating?
>It's not as though she won't find out eventually.
>But those big cinnamon colored eyes of hers, so full of life and innocence, they're practically begging for a little exaggeration.
>A thin sheen of sweat appears on your forehead as you wrestle with what to do next.
>And then, an idea strikes you.
>You'll do it Chinese Restaurant style
"Well, Buddy, all foals start out as a little seed in their Momma's belly."
>"Is that why you told me not to swallow watermelon seeds?"
>You blink in confusion, but thankfully your daughter continues after a short pause.
>"Cause I remember that Momma's belly got re-e-e-e-eally big when Hotshot was inside. Like a watermelon!"
>Smiling, you shake your head and give a short laugh.
"No, not that kind of seed. It's a, special seed that Momma and Poppa share together. And then the Momma takes care of the foal inside of her, and the Poppa takes care of the Momma until the foal is ready to come out."
>Ace sticks out her lower lip in thought as she nods along with your explanation.
>"So, Momma takes care of the baby, like farmers take care of their plants?"
"Mm, that's right."
>You turn back to the vegetables and shift them around, making sure they don't get overcooked.
"Just like a farmer; but once the foal is born, it's up to all of us to make sure that Hotshot grows up big and strong."
>An excited clap echoes up from behind you as Ace grins.
>"Right! It's up to me as big sister to help Hotshot grow up big and strong!"
>You grunt and bob your head a few times, chuckling as you hear your daughter flutter out of the kitchen.
>If Dad was here now, he'd be impressed.
>Speaking with Confidence and Authority, the mainstays of getting your kids to believe every word that comes out of your mouth.
>As you begin to work the peppers over again, a wailing cry comes up from the nursery.
"Of course."
>Grumbling to yourself, you set the pan aside and jog up to the second floor, picking up your pace as the cries become more insistent.
>Once you round the corner, you feel your heart drop.
>Ace looks over her shoulder and grins.
>"I'm helping, Poppa!"
>Hotshot kicks and screams as she continues dumping the contents of the watering can all over his body.
>"Don't worry, he'll be big and strong after this!"
>Burying your face in your hand, you sigh.
>So much for Chinese Restaurant style parenting.


Fortune Cookie Sez: Say what you mean and mean what you say

You'll Rot Your Brain! [Ace & Hotshot]

>It was a pleasant Sunday afternoon in spring.
>The kind of day dedicated to two things.
>Playing outside and napping.
>As the parent, you are indulging in the latter.
>"Poppa?"
>Or rather you were.
>You suppress a groan in the hopes that your daughter will leave you alone.
>Instead, you feel Ace's small hands grab your arm and give you a shake.
>"Poppa..."
>She repeats herself, urgency slipping into her voice.
>Considering you haven't heard a violent crash or scream from her or her brother in the past twenty minutes, it's a safe bet she's got a question to ask.
>One you don't feel like answering at the moment.
>Maybe, if you lie very, very still, she'll...
>"POPPAAAAAA!"
>Your eyes fling open at the war cry coming from your son.
>They snap into focus just in time to see him hurtling at you at the speed of fun; a broad smile splitting his face.
>Even though you try to get your arms up to protect yourself, nothing can stop Hotshot once he leaves the station.
>Crashing into your chest, the boy laughs as you gasp for air.
>His still slightly chubby fingers grip your shirt as he tries to shake you to alertness.
>"Poppa we wanna play vidya!"
>Ugh.
>Where did he learn to call it that?
>Oh, right.
>Finally kick starting your lungs again, you sigh and rub your palm against your face.
"Play video games? But it's such a nice day out..."
>The two children shoot you their best impression of George Costanza.
>At this rate you're going to have to put locks on all your folders.
>Grumbling to yourself, you stand.
>Hotshot flails around for a few seconds, hanging out in the air, before he drops to the ground.
>Both satyrs look up at you with wide grins on their lips.

"All right, all right. Let's get out the game wheel."
>"Woo hoo!"
>"Yes!"
>Ace and Hotshot clench their fists and pump them in unison as you stumble to the closet.
>Meanwhile, your mind is whirring.
>You really need to get these kids out of the house.
>If they stay inside playing games all day, it'll be impossible to put them down for the night.
>That leaves you with only one solution.
>Pulling out the 'game wheel', you grin at the kids.
"All right, who's ready to see what's on the menu today?"
>Hotshot bounces and claps his hands a few times while Ace instinctively shoots her hand up over her head.
>"Ooh! Me, me!"
>You chuckle and push your arm forward a little.
>The wheel clicks at the pegs pass by the ticker.
>As one, you all hold your breath until you finally yank hard on the wheel, sending it spinning about.
>TAKA-TAKA-TAKA-TAKA-TAKA!
>The clear sound rings out in rapid fire as your satyr children clap.
>You smile and wait, listening carefully as the wheel begins to slow.
>Finally, it ticks to a stop.
>Leaning over, you take a look at the winning game, hearing the flutter of wings behind you as your children hover just at the back of your head.
>You turn to them and grin.
"And the game of the day is Zelda: Wand of Gamelon!"
>The color drains from their excited faces.
>They drop to the ground and look at one another before Ace gives a sheepish grin and turns back to you.
>"C-Could we try again?"
>You cross your arms over your chest and smirk.
"The will of the wheel is absolute. The only game allowed to be played in this house is Wand of Gamelon."

>Both children blanch at the thought.
>You decide to deliver the killing blow.
>Reaching down, you place a hand on either of their shoulders and guide them towards the den.
"Now come on you two, I can't -wait- to bomb some Dodongos!"
>That's all it takes.
>The two run screaming from the house, leaving you alone with the wheel.
>Chuckling to yourself, you remove the weight from the wheel and nudge it back into the closet.
"Thanks buddy. I can always count on you to disappoint them."
>Now, back to more important things.
>Stretching out on the sofa, you prop your feet up and close your eyes.
>Just as you begin to drift off, Hotshot's scream rings in your ears.
>"Ace, you cheater! POPPAAAAA!"
>Life.
>Life is suffering.
>Hopping to your feet, you open the door and storm outside into the sunshine, your war cry fresh on your smiling lips.
"Hotshot, mah boi!"
>The satyrs squeal in terror as you stalk towards them.
>Just another not-so lazy Sunday.