Kinderquestria: Toast Synthesizer! [Complete]

Jan 31st, 2020
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
text 26.00 KB | None | 0 0
  1. >"Anon, please! You must awaken this instant!"
  2. "Mmmmmmmmmmmmm" you let out a low moan
  3. >"Anon this is serious! Your assistance is gravely needed!"
  4. >You feel something beginning to slowly pull your blanket from your body
  5. >You quickly reach down and pull against whatever is trying to steal your warm blanket away from you
  6. "Uggghhhhh let me sleep!" you say groggily
  7. >"Unfortunately we can not Anon. There are important matters in which your expertise is needed! Canterlot and maybe all of Equestira may be in great danger!" With that, Luna rips the blanket from your body and you are assaulted by the cold night air
  8. >That fucking horse not only took your blanket, but she also came through the window and left it open
  9. >You open your eyes slightly and give the best death stare you can while being as sleepy as you are
  10. >Lunas standing next to your bedside while also holding your blanket in her magical grasp
  11. >You can see the moon hanging high through the window Luna had left open
  12. >Grasping your pillow firmly and pulling over your face, you turn away from moon horse
  13. "Whatever it is Luna, it can wait till tomorrow." you say through your pillow
  14. >This obviously doesnt please the night princess as you hear her let out a horsy sigh
  15. >"Unfortunately it can not wait till tomorrow Anonymous! Come we leave immediately!"
  16. >She better not be planning on-
  17. >Suddenly a brief magic aura surrounds your body and a loud pop sounds around you
  18. >In less than a seconds, the comfy bed you had been laying upon was replaced with a hard cold marble floor
  19. >"We have arrived Anon! Come, let us make haste!"
  20. >Yup, she teleported you to the fucking castle
  21. >God damn it
  22. >You begrudgingly pull your pillow away from your face and are instantly assailed with the strong smell of something being burnt
  23. >You look around and see you are indeed inside the castle, but there is a lot more smoke wafting around then usual
  24. >Standing up while rubbing some crust out of your eye, you turn to Luna
  25. Still somewhat drowsy you ask "Luna, what's with all the smoke in here and what's that smell?"
  26. >"There is no time to explain Anon! Quickly, my sister and her pupil await our presence!"
  27. >You can feel Luna's magic surround you again and suddenly you are lifted up off the ground and onto her back
  28. >Guess your going horse back riding
  29. >You have to somewhat lift your legs a bit so they dont drag across the ground
  30. >Though usually you hate being magic handled, you are still just a bit to drowse to voice your irritation
  31. >Espically considering how soft Luna is.
  32. >Having felt you get into a somewhat stable riding position on her, Luna takes off down the hall towards some unknown destination
  33. >You cant help, but lean forward and rest your head on the back of her neck
  34. >As Luna gallops, you feel your eyes continue to grow heavy
  35. >You slowly close your eyes
  36. >You only just wanna rest them for a moment
  37. >As soon as you close your eyes, you can feel a hoof nudging your shoulder
  38. >Your eyes shoot open and meet with a slightly concerned looking Celestia
  39. >"We have arrived Anon." Luna states
  40. >"Sorry to call you here so late Anonymous." Celestia says sheepishly "There is a bit of a situation that requires your skillset and knowledge."
  41. >You lift your head off of Luna's neck and wipe away the small amount of droll that had accumulated on your cheek
  42. >You glance down and see a small little damp patch on Luna's neck
  43. >Oops, hopefully she doesn't care to much
  44. >You dismount Luna and as soon as you do you are greeted with a small pink bunny running up to you
  45. >"Ah Anon! Its good to see you again! I didnt know you were the last resort the princess's had been talking about!"
  46. >Oh wait, thats not a pink bunny, its just purple smart in her cute little pyjamas
  47. >Looks like you weren't the only one the princess had kidnapped tonight
  48. You bend down and ruffle Twilight's bunny ears "Hey Twi, hows it going?"
  49. >While you were greeting Twilight, behind you Celestia and Luna were quietly bickering between each other
  50. >"Why didnt you just teleport the both of you here right away, carrying him here on your back was less than necessary!"
  51. >"Well I feel that it was necessary dear sister! I wanted to give Anon time to adjust to the ever-growing smoke clogging up the castle. To just have him assaulted by it with no warning surely wouldn't do him any good now would it!?
  52. >Celestia rolls her eyes "Please, we both know that you were just wanted feel h-"
  53. >You clear your throat
  54. "You guys wanna let me know why you brought me all the way here?"
  55. >Both of the princesses nervously look away
  56. >Its only when Luna gives Celestia a slight elbow in the side does one of them start talking
  57. >"W-well Anon, as you have noticed the castle is a bit smokier than usual as well as somewhat of a light burning odour lingering in the air."
  58. "Yeah that much is pretty obvious, where exactly is all this smoke coming from anyways?"
  59. >Celestia points a hoof over to a door thats not but a couple of feet away
  60. >You are able to see smoke coming out the bottom of the door and pillowing up into the air
  61. "Ah I see, what's in there?"
  62. >Luna steps up "That is where the kitchen is located Anonymous, it is where all our meals for the day are prepared by Canterlot's finest chefs."
  63. >"As well as all of our snacks." Celestia chips in
  64. >"Yes our snacks as well Anonymous."
  65. >You rub your face, trying to get some more of the tired out
  66. "Right, kitchen, meals, chefs, snacks, got it. Did someone leave the oven on or something?"
  67. >Celestia sighs "If only it were that simple my dear Anonymous."
  68. >Luna shakes her head "Yes, if it were that simple, we would simply turned the oven off or banish it to Tartarus, one of the two. The matter at hand requires a more careful in-depth solution. Not even my sister's pupil, Twilight Sparkle could fix our problem."
  69. >Twilight hears this and slightly lowers her head "I'm sorry princesses, I tried everything I could think of, but none of my solutions worked! None of the spells I cast seemed to have had any effect either. Im sorry I let you down."
  70. >Celestia walks over to Twilight and puts a wing around her "You did not let us down Twilight, we know you tried your best. Its just that this situation lies beyond our realm of understanding. If anyone should be sorry it should be me and my sister for causing this mess."
  71. >Twilight brightens up a bit and returns Celestia's embrace
  72. >How heartwarming
  73. >You let a yawn
  74. "That's nice and all, but I still dont get what the problem is and what exactly you want me to do about it."
  75. >Celestia glances to Luna and Luna gives her a slight nervous nod
  76. >Celestia begins "Well Anonymous, maybe it would be better if we explained our uhhhh....situation first"
  77. "Im all ears, and so is Twi." You reach down and scoop up the bunny ears on Twilight's pyjamas with one hand and give them a playful tug
  78. >"Hey! Anon! Dont!" Twilight lets out a giggle and tries to bat your hand away with a hoof.
  79. >"Very well, allow me to explain." Celestia turns around and looks out a nearby window that offers a view of Canterlot. "As you may have guessed Anonymous, ruling the nation of Equestria is a very demanding task for me and my sister and its filled with many responsibilities. Many of these responsibilities include such things as raising and lowering the sun and the moon, as well as other things like conducting meetings with foreign dignitaries, signing trade agreements, ribbon-cutting ceremonies, ensuring there is always glitter available for ponys to use in arts and crafts, and planning festivals as well as many other tasks that I could go on about, but for the sake of time I wont bother. What I'm trying to get at is that there is very little time for me and my sister to use as we please. In order to ensure all our royal duties are taken care of, we must adhere to a strict schedule. Our days are always planned ahead for us and everything is scheduled to ensure our time is used most-"
  80. >Luna interrupts Celestia "But that's not the worst of it Anonymous! Sometimes we even have to skip our designated snack times in order to ensure our duties are fulfilled in a timely manner! It is truly awful Anonymous, but yet is sometimes unfortunately necessary." Luna woefully dips her head down
  81. >Twilight gasps in shock "Skip snack time!? That's awful princess! I can't imagine how horrible that must be! I'm sorry you have to go through such things for our sake!"
  82. >Strict schedule huh?
  83. >You wonder where "breaking into your house and going through all your things while your not home" falls into that schedule
  84. >At first you thought it was Pinkie doing it again, but when you started finding long flowing magical hairs on your clothes and framed pictures of the moon hanging on your wall, you had started to suspect that it wasn't Pinkie this time, besides, Pinkie doesn't have long flowing magical hair. Hers is pink and curly, and if you find anymore pink and curly hairs on your toothbrush, you and Pinkie are gonna have words.
  85. >They even replaced a few of your rugs, towels, and pillowcases with ones that have the sun and moon emblazoned on them.
  86. >Like you wouldn't notice
  87. >You already tired asking them to stop, but they insist they know nothing about it
  88. "Oh yeah, strict schedule, sounds rough." you say in monotone
  89. >Luna dramatically falls over to you and wraps her hoofs around your stomach while slowly sliding down onto the floor. "It truly is dear Anonymous! But we endure for the sake of our subjects!"
  90. >Celestia doesn't look to pleased seeing Luna cling onto you.
  91. >Celestia points her horn towards her sister and envelops her in a yellow aura.
  92. >She begins to pry Luna off of you, and after a few forceful tugs she tears Luna away and stands her up right next to her. Luna taunts her sister by sticking her tongue out, but Celestia just rolls her eyes and turns back to you
  93. >"Yes, everything my sister had said is true, until recently that is..."
  94. You raise an eyebrow "Oh? What changed?"
  95. >"Wellllll..." Celestia looks away with a slight hesitation in her voice, but then turns back to you. "Through means of our own we had....recently came into the possession of an otherworldly artefact that is capable of many great feats. The functions of this....artifact....has given us the ability to partake in a joyous quick snack time without having to worry about such things like time."
  96. "Whoa that actually sounds pretty interesting! Is it like a staff that speeds things up or a watch that can stop time?" you say with genuine curiosity
  97. >"Ummmmm not quite Anonymous, its more of a-"
  98. >Luna chimes in again cutting Celestia off a second time causing Celestia to give her a displeased frown, but Luna seems to ignore her "It is a magical box that instantly bakes whatever you put inside! It is truly a marvellous device Anon! It has provided us with many quick snacks in the most dire of times! We have officially dubbed it "THE TOAST SYNTHESIZER"! A truly magnificent sounding title wouldn't you agree Anon?!"
  99. "Oh yeah, sounds pretty magnificent."
  100. >Celestia turns away and huffs quietly "I prefer to call it the "Easy Bake"."
  101. >"It truly is Anon! Just the other day we converted a whole loaf of bread into delicious crunchy toast!" Luna wears a somewhat dopey smile while reminiscing about her toast
  102. "Ok, that's neat I guess, but what I wanna know is how is your toast synthesizer related to all this smoke flooding the castle, did it break or something?"
  103. >Celestia nods her head "That appears to be the case dear Anonymous, and we still aren't exactly certain as to what caused it to release all this smoke into the air either. Me and Luna had been using it like we always have. I had been making my bedtime snack while Luna had been making her beginning of the day snack. We each loaded a slice of bread in each slot and activated the device like we always do, but for some reason the strange artefact never released our snacks and instead started dispensing this horrid smoke into the air." Celestia raises a hoof to wave some smoke away from her face. "We have tried everything we could think of to make it stop, but nothing we do seems to have any effect on it."
  104. "Well that stinks, but im not sure exactly what you want me to do about it. I mean if none of your magic seemed to work and none of little Twiggles book smarts seemed to help, I cant see how I could have any chance of fixing it. I don't necessarily dabble in fixing magical objects"
  105. >Celestia and Luna give each other a nervous look and then look back to you.
  106. >Celestia forces a smile "Y-you think to little of yourself my VERY dear Anonymous! You are quite the smart and resourceful stallion! My sister and I have the utmost confidence that someone of your level of intellect and cunning is more than capable of being able to assist us with our problem!"
  107. >Luna pipes up while wearing her forced smile "Indeed! We have seen the way you operate the strange devices in your home with such style and grace! Surely a stallion as nice and charming as yourself can use their proficiency with such strange devices help us with our situation!"
  108. >Style and grace? Does she mean like when you cook food in your microwave and vacuum the floor? Also going off what she just said, it might not be a bad idea to buy some curtains
  109. You take a hand and begin to rub the back of your neck "I mean I guess I could take a look at your synthesizer thingy, but im still not sure what much I can do about it."
  110. >You suddenly feel a hoof poke the side of your calf
  111. >You look down and see Twilight staring at you with a smile that isnt forced, but genuine
  112. >"Dont worry Anon! I think you can do it!" she says wholeheartedly
  113. >Damn you Twiggles, being so cute and sweet in your bunny pyjamas!
  114. >You kneel down and ruffle Twilight's bunny ears a second time
  115. "Thanks, Twi, I'll see what I can do."
  116. >You begin making your way towards the door to the kitchen
  117. >Smoke is still steadily pillowing out from the bottom of the door
  118. >You put a hand on the door and gently push it open
  119. >Smoke begins to spill out of the open doorway
  120. >You take a few steps into the kitchen and close the door behind you
  121. >The kitchen is filled with fog-like smoke
  122. >It wasn't so thick that you couldn't breath, fortunately, but it did somewhat obscure your vision while also having a smell to it that made you certain that you will have to wash your clothes and take a shower to get the smell off of you
  123. >You make it a point to find the nearest window and open it so that way the smoke won't flood the castle as intensely as it has been
  124. >Really something Celestia and Luna should have done in the first place
  125. >You find a small rectangle window located above the sink and push it open, allowing the smoke somewhere else to escape to
  126. >As the smoke exits through the window, your able to see the surrounding kitchen a bit better
  127. >Deffinetly not as big as you would expect a royal kitchen to be
  128. >You were expecting like six ovens, a bunch of sinks, and at least 4 huge fridges, but what you see is actually a bit more modest than that
  129. >Its like your in the kitchen of a diner
  130. >Theres more than the regular kitchen, but less than what someone with a lot of money back on earth would have
  131. >Now that you think about it, the chef poners probably dont need a lot of extra cooking appliances to make what they consider to be fancy food
  132. >Cant say you have ever seen a pony make anything more complicated than a grilled cheese
  133. >Not counting pastries and baked goods of course
  134. >Pinkie has made some cakes before that you are certain defy both culinary and scientific laws
  135. >Out of the corner of your eye, you notice two peculiar looking refrigerators
  136. >Must be their personal fridges
  137. >One has a crude crayon drawing of the sun plastered on the door, while the other has a canvas painting of the moon hanging on its door
  138. >You wonder which princess owns which fridge
  139. > You're tempted to peep on the contents of the princess's fridges, however, you were sent in here for a reason. Now is not the time to poke fun at the princesses based on what they have inside their respective refrigerators
  140. >Aw what the hell
  141. >You grab the handle of the sun refrigerator and pull the door open
  142. >Inside you see shelves full with half-eaten confections as well as a big jug of orange juice laying on the top shelf
  143. >All the sweets show signs of various methods of consumption
  144. >Some have had bites taken from them, some had their frosting licked off, while others had shown signs oh having had a hoof tip dragged along the top
  145. >Some of the sweets are starting show signs of age as some of the cakes are beginning to lose moisture and are starting to crumble
  146. >Celestia should really finish her food
  147. >You take out the jug of orange liquid and remove the cap
  148. >This will be part of your service fee for coming here in the middle of the night
  149. >You take a generous gulp from the bottle, replace the cap and put it back in the fridge
  150. >Ah, its a bit sweeter than normal OJ, almost makes you feel like your drinking Sunny D, but the flavour is just a bit off when compared to the real stuff
  151. >Slightly pulpy and not as sweet, but not to far away from what you remember
  152. >You let out a small sigh
  153. >You miss earth food sometimes
  154. >You reach for the handle of the moon fridge and pull it open
  155. >As soon as the fridge cracks open you are assailed by a foul odour that completely blocks out the smell of the smoke
  156. >You recoil slightly and can only stand to look inside the fridge for a few moments before you have to close it because of the stench
  157. >It was filled to the brim with many different kinds of cheese, some covered and some uncovered, as well as what you believe was a single jar of grape jelly on the bottom shelf
  158. >Jesus Christ Luna
  159. >Some of that cheese looked like it was pulsating
  160. >She really needs to clean some of that shit out
  161. >You swear some of that stuff in there was definitely not safe for consumption
  162. >As you contemplate Luna's fridge cheese, you notice a small little cylinder on the floor
  163. >It was a small cheese wheel that must of fell out of the fridge
  164. >You were about to reach down and pick it up, but as soon as you kneel down, the cheese wheel seemed to let out a little hissing noise and quickly skittered underneath Luna's fridge
  165. >Ok, that's about enough excitement for today
  166. >You quickly stand and back away from Luna's fridge
  167. >Your gonna find where the smoke is coming from and deal with it so you can get the hell out of this kitchen
  168. >You quickly scan the contents of the kitchens counters and find nothing but a bunch of half-empty cookie jars, and boxes of sugary cereal
  169. >Where the hell is all this smoke coming from
  170. >Wait....
  171. >Hold on a moment...
  172. >You find that one countertop has a larger build-up of cereal boxes and cookie jars when compared to the rest of the kitchen
  173. >The smoke seems to be noticeably denser in this section of the kitchen as well
  174. >You brush aside some of the cereal boxes and find something that you believe to be the source of all this smoke
  175. >The cereal boxes were covering up the toast synthesizer thingy the princesses were talking about, and they also seemed to have thrown a towel over it for some reason
  176. >Is it sensitive to light or something?
  177. >Seems like putting a towel over it would be a bit fire hazard if it uses any sort of heating implements
  178. >You shrug
  179. >You dont really get magic, your sure they know what they are doing
  180. >You lift up the towel to get a good look at the otherworldly artefact
  181. >Wait.....
  182. >Thats not an otherworldly artefact
  183. >..............
  184. >Its a toaster
  185. >..............
  186. >But its not just any toaster
  187. >..............
  188. >Its your toaster
  189. >..............
  190. >The same toaster that mysteriously disappeared from your house a few months ago
  191. >They stole your toaster from your house, without telling you
  192. >..............
  193. "Those......those.......
  194. >As much as you would like to yell all kinds of profanity you fortunately are able to resist the urge
  195. >You have long abandoned such vocabulary since coming to Marshmellow horse land
  196. >Ponys here cant handle such vulgar language and there are even repercussions with the law for even the tamest of "bad words"
  197. >Just because you dont voice your discontent doesnt mean your not furious however
  198. >You are actually very displeased with this series of events
  199. >You thought your toaster was gone forever when it went missing
  200. >Do they even understand how many toastless mournings you have had to endure?
  201. >One thing your certain of is that words will be had
  202. >But first you gotta fix this hunk of junk
  203. >You inspect your toaster and immediately find the problem
  204. >The slider was stuck and they had the damn thing turned up to "9"
  205. >Your toaster has a nasty habit of getting stuck when the slider is pushed down to far
  206. >They are lucky to have not encountered this problem sooner
  207. >You unplug the toaster from the tiny weird little crystal generator they had it hooked up to and then yo begin to wiggle the slider side to side
  208. >After a few moments of some good wiggling, the toaster harshly ejects its contents straight up into the air and onto the kitchen floor
  209. >Whatever they had originally put inside your toaster is now unrecognizable as it seems to have morphed into a hard lump of smoking charcoal
  210. >The smoke in the immediate area begins to dissipate as you make your way out of the kitchen with toaster in hand
  211. >You push open the door and see a deathly nervous Celestia and Luna as well as an obliviously happy albeit somewhat tired Twiggy Sparks
  212. >Both of the princesses freeze when they see you walk out of the kitchen with your toaster
  213. >Celestia immediately takes action and begins to shower you with praise "Ah! A-Anon! You stopped the smoke! We knew you could do it! You have outperformed even us in this arduous task! You have proved yourself to be the most capable human!"
  214. >Luna joins in "Indeed! W-we must celebrate your victory! A....uhhhh....a banquet! Yes, a banquet In your honour!
  215. >They stare at you hoping they are spared your wrath, but you will not be won over by their honeyed words
  216. >You turn to Twilight
  217. "Twilight, could you go grab me a glass of water from the kitchen? All this smoke is making my throat dry
  218. >Twilight lets out a small yawn "Sure Anon, I'll be right back."
  219. >Twilight disappears into the kitchen behind you and you look back to the princesses
  220. >They must have noticed your displeasure just from the look on your face as they seem to shrink upon meeting your disapproving gaze
  221. >Surprisingly Luna speaks "A-Anon, before you say anything I just wanted you to know that.......IT WAS CELESTIA'S IDEA TO TAKE IT!"
  222. >Celestia recoils with shock and looks at her sister and you in disbelief "WHAT!?" Celestia's shock quickly turns to anger, however "MY IDEA!? YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WOULDNT STOP SHOVING IT IN MY FACE, AND SAYING HOW NICE IT IS, AND BESIDES, I ONLY WANTED TO BORROW IT FOR A FEW DAYS, BUT WHEN I TRIED TO RETURN IT, YOU PRACTICALLY WOULDNT LET GO OF THE DARNED THING!!!"
  223. >"WELL THATS BECAUSE I...I wanted to clean it first...YEAH! It's only right that you clean something after you borrow it!"
  224. >"You? Clean something???" Celestia lets out a mocking chuckle "I have heard a lot of outlandish stories in my time Luna, but that one tops them all!"
  225. >Before either princess could bicker anymore, you decide to intervene
  226. "Ahem!"
  227. >Both the princesses freeze mid-fight and look back to you with wide eyes
  228. >You take a step towards the princesses causing them to flinch
  229. >You raise a finger towards Celestia and glare at her with a stare that could make even fiercest of manticores turn tale and run
  230. "Finish your food! Don't just throw it in the fridge and let it rot! And also cut down on the sweets, they aren't good for you!"
  231. >You turn to Luna with the same serious stare
  232. "Same goes for you Luna! And clean out your fridge......actually just throw it away and get a new one! Understood!?
  233. >The princesses slowly nod their heads in confirmation
  234. >"U-understood Anon!" Celestia says nervously
  235. >"Y-yes! Understood!" Luna squeaks
  236. "And one more thing! Dont EVER take anything from my house without my approval ever again, or else I might have to break out the old rolled-up newspaper!"
  237. >The princesses both jump at your words
  238. >Celestia quickly comments "Th-that wont be necessary Anon!"
  239. >"R-right! Me and Tia both know better now! So there won't be any need for th-th-the...*gulp*....rolled up newspaper!"
  240. "Good."
  241. >As if on cue, Twilight returns from the kitchen with a glass of water in her magical grasp. "Here you go Anon!"
  242. >You quickly drop your angry expression and turn to Twilight with glee
  243. "Ah, thanks Twi! Your a lifesaver!"
  244. >You take the glass of water from her and quickly gulp it down
  245. >You motion it to Celestia who cautiously takes it from you and then you turn back to little Twilight
  246. "Twi, would you like to sleepover at my house tonight? I feel like I might have a bit of trouble going back to bed after all this excitement, but I feel like having a big soft bunny to cuddle will help."
  247. >Twilight jumps with excitement "Of course Anon! I know a bunch of great bedtime stories that I can tell you! It will be lots of fun!"
  248. "Great! And I can make us a delicious toast breakfast in the morning as well." you say while patting the toaster in your arms "Luna, would you mind teleporting me and Twi back to my house?"
  249. >Luna lightly paws the ground with a hoof. " know Anon, I also enjoy bedtime stories and toast breakfasts.....There also isnt much on the royal schedule that would require my attention I'm free......I just thought you should know......"
  250. >You roll your eyes
  251. >You could easily ask "What about the tight schedule you and Celestia were complaining about earlier?" but frankly you're just to tired to even care anymore
  252. "Fine. You can come along."
  253. >"Ah!Excellent!" Luna poofs away for a few seconds and suddenly reappears wearing moon pyjamas
  254. >As you get ready to have Luna take you and Twi home, Celestia lightly clears her throat "I also like toast breakfasts Anonymous......"
  255. You sigh "You can come to Celestia."
  256. >Celestia jumps with excitement and quickly teleports away and reappears with pyjamas of her own
  257. >Luna raises her horn high in the air and encircles everyone with her magical aura "If everypony is ready, let us be off!"
  258. >Welp, you arent really sure if your bed is gonna be able to contain three ponys and a human, cant say this whole princess sleepover was something you had planned, but you suppose there are worse things than having to share a bed with a bunch of horses in pyjamas. At least you have your toaster, and more importantly, your toast.
  259. >FIN
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment