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- >"Anon... Anon, it's time to get up, Hon."
- >You groan, trying to ignore the voice that was trying to get you up
- >You were barely conscious but even you knew that right now (whatever time it was) was no time to get up
- >Dreamland still had so many wonders that you wanted to explore
- >And to do anything other than that was heresy of the highest order
- >And papa didn't raise no heretic
- >Your tormentor giggles as you roll over and nuzzling into your pillow
- >"Come on, sleepyhead. You gotta go to work."
- >You tense as you feel something warm and soft pressing itself against the back of your neck
- >"So rise and shine! Bonnie's making breakfast again and she wants us down in the kitchen soon."
- >While a reasonable man would have thought over the mystery person's proposal you weren't a reasonable man
- >Like at all
- >So FUCK that
- >Grumbling again you curl into a ball, wrapping your blankets firmly around you
- >Though you didn't say anything you were sure your modest counterproposal was heard loud and clear
- >Whoever was harassing you could come back in... two or three hours if he or she really wanted to talk business...
- >Your grumbling became a little louder when you felt a pair of furry hooves wrap around your middle and gently tug you
- >"Come on, Nonny."
- >The back of your neck was once again kissed
- >"Come on, Hon."
- >You felt a pair of soft lips graze your cheek
- >"Early to bed, early to rise, Fingers."
- >With each kiss your tormentor keeps gently but firmly tugging on your blankets
- >Though you try to resist you're too tired, and slowly but surely you find yourself being pulled out of your little sleep ball
- >And that was bad
- >You liked going into your little sleep ball
- >It kept you warm and made you feel safe
- >Like an armadillo
- >A sexy armadillo
- >Your tired mind chugs along, trying to figure out how to solve this dilemma
- >Though it takes a minute a thought comes, and with a grunt you roll around and wrap your arms around your attacker in a classic snuggle sleeper hold
- >You hear another giggle as you nuzzle against a soft, furry chest, thin mints assaulting your nose as you try to settle yourself
- >"Stop being so silly and get up, Nonny." the mystery pony said, patting the top of your head
- >You just hug harder, hoping that your attacker would get the idea and fall asleep
- >Sleep was good
- >Sleep solved every problem
- >The world would be a better place if everyone just went to sleep
- >Though you had thought that your snuggle-based attack was a masterful stroke of genius there was one major flaw in its defense
- >And to your horror your opponent was about to use that to her advantage
- >You make a face as you're pulled upwards and your cheeks are squeezed
- >"Come on, Nonny! Let's get a move on, Nonny!" you attacker sing-songed, kissing your nose
- >You tried to move away but hooves firmly held your face in place as the kissing assault continued
- >Not a single bit of your face was left untouched either
- >Cheeks, nose, chin, forehead, lips, your attacker kissed these and more without mercy
- >The monster
- >Though you did your best to ignore it you soon found yourself fully awake
- >And with a few more kisses your found one of your eyes slowly cracking open to see Lyra, her golden eyes shining and her mane all messy, looking at you with a smile
- >"There we are," she cooed, giving you a peck on the lips
- >Begrudgingly you returned the kiss, leaning forward and pressing your nose against your marefriend's
- "I don't wanna get up," you mumble, your voice thick with sleep
- >Lyra nuzzles you
- >"I know you don't want to, Hon, but you gotta," she says, one of her hooves rubbing your back
- >Lyra rubs her nose against yours and her smile turned mischievous
- >"Why don't the two of us have a little fun to REALLY help you wake up?~" she cooed, her hoof leaving her back and slowly traveling downward
- >Nope
- >Nope!
- >None of that!
- >Both of your eyes snap open as you grabbed your marefriend's hoof
- "If we start doing that I'm going to get yelled at for being late again," you say with a yawn
- >A whine escaped Lyra's throat as she rubbed herself against you
- >"Oh come on! It'll be a quicky, I promise."
- >Lyra tried to lean in for a kiss but you beat her to the punch, leaning up and kissing her forehead
- "Not right now, Hon. Like you said I gotta get up for work and shit."
- >Quickly rolling out of your bed you hop to your feet and make the trek to your bathroom
- >Though it STILL felt weird that you turned down sex it was something that you had needed to do on an almost regular bases
- >It had been a couple of months since you started "dating" Lyra and Bonnie Buns, and it had honestly been... something
- >Your house had girly shit all through it and the smell of candy and thin mints was on everything,
- >You included
- >Your bathroom had been renovated and a big ass bathtub had been put in
- >Your mornings were now filled with even more hugs and kisses and nuzzles and blowjobs than before
- >And all of it was starting to feel... normal
- >Welcomed even
- >Flipping on your bathroom light you quickly turn on your shower, grab yourself a toothbrush, rip off your PJ's, and hop into the shower so you could wash yourself and brush your teeth
- >You were multitasking like a motha fucker
- >"Monkey! Hurry up in there before your eggs get cold!"
- "I just got in the fucking shower!" you yell, spitting out a mouthful of toothpaste. "It's going to take a little bit."
- >Through your bathroom door you could hear a snort
- >"You know your boss wouldn't yell at you for being late if you didn't roll around your bed for twenty minutes being a baby right?"
- >Blinking slowly, still trying to get the sleep out of your eyes, you frown
- "Fuck off and just wait a minute for the fucking eggs!"
- >"Nope, I'm making them now! If you get them cold you're getting them cold!"
- >...Fucking Bonbon...
- >Over the last month you had managed to read all of the books that Twiggles had given you
- >And boy did you learn some shit
- >While you kind of knew that most ponies practiced the whole polygamy thing you REALLY didn't know in depth it went
- >Or who weird it got
- >Apparently mares grouped themselves into little herds and tried to go and get themselves a man
- >If they did get a horse man they had to go ahead and "mark" him
- >And they did this different ways
- >For earth ponies they fucked the male until he passes the fuck out, just like what Bonbon did to you
- >For unicorns the mares sit on the males horn
- >Though you didn't have a horn Lyra sure as hell made do
- >And for Pegasi...
- >Well, who the fuck cares about bird horses?
- >...Fucking bird horses...
- >...Playing around in your fucking bird baths...
- >After the mares went ahead and got their stank on their guy now they had to go ahead and keep him
- >Which explained Bonbon's aggression
- >And Lyra's sudden and aggressive change of character
- >Mares that didn't have a herd or mares that were in a herd but didn't have a stallion became more flirtatious to any newly-marked stallions, either hoping to steal him away from his herd or get him to add the mares to his herd
- >Which explained a hell of a lot of things when you read it actually
- >Roseluck wasn't the only little horse that tried to make the moves on you whenever Lyra or Bonbon weren't around
- >Cheerilee had made a pass at you, as did some of the nurse horses and even a unicorn or two
- >Some of them were subtle about it
- >Others... not so much
- >A few of the bird horses tried to make a pass at you but those little niggas knew you weren't too fond of them
- >...The little fuckers knew what they did...
- >So mares flirting with you wasn't that big of a deal
- >And, after a hell of a long talk between you, Bonnie, and Lyra, it was made into an even smaller deal
- >The couple of days after that little thunderstorm had been... kinda rough honestly
- >Lyra and Bonbon had been terrified that you were going to dump them and you were (kinda) scared that you were going to lose your favorite little horses
- >None of you wanted another fight
- >And none of you wanted to just blow up on the other because of something that one of you didn't understand
- >So yeah...
- >For a while it wasn't all that fun
- >But, as stated before, you had one hell of a heart to heart with the little mares
- >You talked, they talked, both sides explained things (things that you understood a little more after finishing those books) and everyone came away from it better equipped to deal with this situation
- >Though they were still a little protective of you both of your marefriends eased off considerably, and they even made it a point to leave you alone every once in awhile
- >And you made it a point to get a little more touchy feely, huggy kissy with them whenever you could
- >There might have been a bump along the road here and there but that was alright
- >Now the three of you were in this together
- >And you couldn't be happier about it
- >Quickly finishing your shower and getting dressed you hurry down the stairs and into the kitchen
- >Like it had since Bonbon and Lyra "moved in" the smell of delicious breakfast foods greeted you right as you stepped in the room
- >You could see Bonbon, wearing her adorable little cooks apron, finishing up a plate of eggs and pancakes
- >"You're lucky that the first batch of these got burnt," she said, not turning her head as you walked over to the table. "If I would have had my way you'd be eating cold eggs and Lyra and I would have eaten all of the pancakes."
- >You couldn't help but roll your eyes at that
- "You burned the eggs seven times in a row?" you asked, mirth in your tone. "Christ isn't that something..."
- >Bonbon stiffens at the jab
- >"If you don't shut your bucking mouth I'm gonna spit in these eggs!" she threatens, spinning around to glare at you
- >You smile when you see a blush on the little mare's face but you don't say anything
- >It was way too early to get into it right now
- >Seeing that you weren't going to say anything else Bonnie turns back around with a snort
- >"...You're a butt."
- "You weren't saying that last night," you snark right back, taking a drink of the juice that was oh so thoughtfully laid out for you
- >Turning back around Bonbon walks toward you with eggs and pancakes held in her hoof and mouth
- >"How long are you supposed to work today?" she asked, ignoring your comment completely
- >You shrug as she sets the plates down and takes off her apron
- "It depends on how big the shipment is today," you say as you help yourself to a plateful of eggs. "The last couple of days we've been getting pretty light loads so I shouldn't be there too long."
- >Though the answer doesn't seem to please the little mare she nods, hopping up into your lap and making herself comfortable
- >"...Alright, make sure to hurry home..." she said, wrapping her hooves around your neck and nuzzling you
- >A veteran to the earth pony's affection you nod and give her a kiss as she continued to wiggle in your lap
- >If you didn't know any better you'd think that she was trying something here...
- "Thanks for cooking breakfast again, Bonnie."
- >You swear to god that Bonbon nearly giggles at that, the candy mare giving your neck a kiss
- >"If I didn't cook in the mornings nopony would get anything for breakfast."
- >Her hoof grabs you hand and starts to play with your fingers
- >"You'd think that with these wigglers of yours you'd be able to do more than buck all."
- >Spinning around Bonbon presses her back against your chest and picks up your fork
- >"Come on, we both have to go to work soon..."
- >As Bonnie started to dig into YOUR food Lyra came in with a vial...
- >Wait a fucking second...
- "I fucking KNEW you guys were putting something in my food," you grumble as Lyra sets the little glass vial filled with grey... stuff down in front of you
- >Bonbon's eyes widened
- >"H-Hon, what t-the BUCK are y-you doing s-showing the m-monkey that?!" she demanded
- >You swatted Bonbon right on the cutiemark
- >The mare yelped in surprise, launching herself about a foot into the air before landed right back into your lap
- "No, the better fucking question is why you two little niggers are putting shit into my food without telling me."
- >Lyra idly kicks at the floor as Bonbon glares up at you angrily
- >"W-We were going to tell you eventually," Lyra said. "A-And it's not anything bad..."
- >"T-THAT BUCKING H-HURT YOU--"
- SLAP!
- >Bonbon yelps again as you slap her on the other cutiemark
- "And what IS this?" you asked
- >You know...
- >You should probably be a hell of a lot madder about all of this...
- >Lyra keeps her gaze firmly on the table
- >"Well... Me and Bonnie noticed that if we rutted you too much you wouldn't cum a lot. So we went and asked Zecora if she had something to help with that..."
- >Biting her lip, harpbutt looked up at you
- >"We saw all of those books you were hiding under the bed, Fingers, and me and Bonnie wanted to say... sorry for being so secretive and stuff."
- >Though she still looks pissed Bonbon bites her lip as her ears flick back and forth
- >Just like Lyra had been she was firmly keeping her gaze on the table
- >Nuzzling her marefriend's side, Lyra places a hoof on your leg
- >"You deserve better than that... So we're sorry... about putting things in your food and being pushy and stuff....... Please don't leave..."
- >...
- >...
- >...
- >Wow
- >Was she really that beat up about putting shit into your food so you'd cum more?
- >If anything you were confused as to why they just didn't ask you to start taking the stuff
- >If they weren't happy with your loads and there was something to fix that then you were fine with taking something
- "So WHY didn't you guys tell me about this?"
- >Lyra kicked at the floor again
- >"...We didn't want you to be mad at us..."
- >Your nose scrunches up
- >Mad?
- >Why would you--
- >...Oh
- >Looking down at Bonbon you noticed that she was shaking slightly
- "You guys thought that if you told me about this then I might dump you..."
- >You knew that both Lyra and Bonnie were still kind of dancing on eggshells around you but you had no idea that they were THIS scared about pissing you off...
- >Not waiting for an answer you wrap your arms around Bonbon and pull her against your chest
- >You kiss the back of her head as she sniffled
- "Hey, hey, none of that, Bonnie," you murmured, rocking her back and forth. "I already told the two that I wasn't going anywhere."
- >You look at Lyra and smile
- >Seeing that you weren't upset she smiled back
- >Bonbon held onto your arm as you just quietly held onto her whispering encouragements
- >"S-So you're not mad?"
- >You look at the little vial of grey... stuff that had managed to turn a perfectly normal morning into one where Bonbon nearly had a panic attack
- >Grimacing slightly you reach over and grab the bottle
- >Lyra and Bonbon watch with wide eyes as you pull out the cork with your teeth and start chugging the stuff
- >Lyra gasped
- >"A-Anon! Wait!"
- >You make a face as you drain the bottle
- "...Fuck does that taste funny..." you grumble, licking your lips
- >You look at your marefriends and notice that they're looking at you like you just did something really, really stupid
- "...What?"
- >Bonnie and Lyra look at each other
- >"Zecora told us to only give you a teaspoon a day," Lyra says slowly, as if she was still trying to get over the fact that you up and drank all of the zigger juice
- >"...You just drank fifty doses worth of that potion you bucking dummy," Bonbon adds, now clearly over her little episode
- >You shrug
- "Eh, I'm sure I'll be fine," you say dismissively, giving Bonbon's cheek a kiss. "So, now both of you know I'm not mad. So no more crying now alright?"
- >You sigh in relief when your marefriends nod
- >...Thank god
- >You didn't want to have another hyper emotional day...
- >"And we promise not to do anything else to you without you knowing, Fingers," Lyra promises
- >Bonbon scooches around until she was sitting sideways in your lap
- >"Yeah... We're really sorry and we won't do it again, Anon," the candy mare says, wrapping her hooves around your neck and kissing your cheek
- >You couldn't help but grin, your hands traveling down to Bonbon's rump
- "I'm getting anal from one of you when I get home."
- >You couldn't help but smile when the looks of calm and tranquility on your marefriend's faces turned into looks of outrage and shock
- >Delicious, delicious shock
- >"WHAT?!" they both cried in unison
- "Yep, you both owe me anal now as an apology," you say, giving Bonnie's buns a squeeze
- >The mare blushes with a squeak and hops out of your lap
- "And you're going first, Bonnie."
- >Oh
- >The look that Bonbon gave you
- >...
- >...
- >...
- >Ohhhhh...
- >You wish you could have taken a picture of it
- >You were going to play with yourself with that look in your mind
- >"I, you, but, we--"
- >Bonbon looks over at Lyra, whose face was so red that she could have probably started a fire, before looking back at your quietly cackling ass
- >You could tell that she was trying, TRYING, to figure out how to tell you to fuck off
- >Ponies, for some reason or another, weren't into the whole anal thing from what you've been told
- >Like so much so that it was kind of taboo to even TALK about
- >And, while you weren't usually into that kind of thing, you were curious
- >What would it be like fucking a pony in the ass?
- >You had two marefriends
- >They had two asses
- >So why not find out for science's sake if nothing else?
- >And at the very least, if it sucked, you could always make some ass jokes at your mares expense for a while
- >You cross your arms and sit back into your chair as Bonbon shimmers and babbles before she sighed
- >"...F-Fine," she grumbled with a blush, looking down at the floor in embarrassment. "But just because I want your dumb flank to know how sorry I am..."
- >Emboldened by her marefriend, Lyra nodded
- >"W-We'll do it, N-Nonny!"
- >You know
- >You should probably feel a little bad about twisting your marefriend's legs like this
- >But--
- >Ohhh!
- >Bonbon was making that face again!
- >AWWWWWWWWW YYYYYYYEEEEEEESSSSSSHHHHHHH!!!!
- >Grinning (and trying to hide that fact that you were VERY much erect) you stood up
- "Alright! Fantastic! You gals make sure to buy some lube!"
- >Your grin widens as they both flinched
- "I'm gonna go to work!"
- >Kneeling down you wrap your arms around Bonbon
- >"I bucking hate you so much right now..." she grumbled, wrapping her hooves around your neck after a minute
- >You try to reach over to give her rump another squeeze but she swatted your hand away
- >Kek
- "I love you too, Hon," you say, kissing her cheek
- >You break the hug and walk over to Lyra
- >She smiles weakly at you, getting up onto her back legs and wrapping her hooves around your neck
- >"Have a good day, Nonny," she said, kissing your cheek
- >Still grinning like a fucker of mothers you give Lyra and Bonbon one final goodbye before you moonwalk out of the kitchen
- >Aw yeah!
- >You're tearing up that ass tonight!
- >In a far better mood than you had been a few minutes ago you throw on your shoes, throw open your door, and--
- >"HI ANON!"
- >...
- >...
- >...
- >Nope
- >Your face loses it's grin
- >The happiness drains from you
- >And, now the picture of solemness, you close the door and lock it
- >...Welp
- >It looks like you weren't going to work today...
- "Lyra! Lock that kitchen door please!"
- >Lyra pokes her head out of the kitchen
- >"What did you say, Anon?" she asked in confusion
- >You calmly look out the window
- "Go and lock the door for me, hon," you say. "And prop a chair up against it for good measure."
- >Though Bonbon and Lyra look confused when you walk back into the kitchen and grab a chair you ignore it
- >Alright
- >You couldn't hear anyone fucking around upstairs
- >That meant she wasn't in the house yet...
- >Good
- >Quickly walking back to your front door you prop the chair against the door securely
- "Bonnie, there's a crossbow under the sink. Do me a favor and grab it for me."
- >"You have a bucking crossbow?! Why the buck do you have a bucking crossbow?!"
- "Just get me the fucking crossbow... for fuck's sake... and there should be a bolt or two in the drawer under the spoons!"
- ~Ten minutes later~
- >The doors were locked and barricaded
- >The windows were boobytrapped
- >And you checked the basement and the house
- >It was do or die time
- >It was--
- >"So what the buck are you flipping out about?"
- >You look up from your crossbow, which you MAAAAAAAY have gotten through... less than legal means, at Bonbon
- "There's someone outside that I don't very much care for," you say, making sure that your weapon was cocked and readied. "Someone and maybe her husband, who I also don't very much care for."
- >Bonbon's eyes widened in disbelief
- >"And what? You're going to SHOOT them just because you don't like them."
- >You stare at your marefriend for a long, long moment
- "...Just open the door for me, Bonnie."
- >Bonbon, now frowning, looks over at Lyra
- >"Lyra, aren't you going to SAY SOMETHING?!"
- >Harp hoers shrugs
- >"I don't know what's going on but if Nonny thinks that whoever's outside is BAD..."
- >You ignore the rest of the argument, focusing on the door
- >Carefully, with loaded crossbow at the ready, you make your way over to the door
- >Aiming down the sights of your weapon you kick away the chair and unlock the door
- >You breath in
- >You breath out
- >You were lighter than a slice of bread
- >You could shoot the wings off a fly at a hundred yards
- >...
- >...
- >...
- >Alright...
- >With a battlecry you throw open your door and hop through it
- >GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO!
- >Wildly flailing your weapon around you search for anything pink
- >YOU HAD TO SHOOT ANYTHING THAT WAS PINK!
- >SHOOTITRIGHTBETWEENTHEEYES!
- >...
- >...
- >...
- >Where the hell was she?
- >You frown as you look all around your empty front porch and yard
- >Though it looked like there was no one around you knew better
- >She was somewhere
- >Just waiting for you to drop your fucking guard
- >Then BAM! she's get you
- >But not this time!
- >NOTTHISTIME!!!
- "Come out, come out, wherever you are."
- >You step off of your porch, your ears peeled and your head on a swivel
- "I know you're out here you pink pain in the ass. Come out and--"
- >And then you saw it, a flash of pink to your left
- >You tried to turn and fire but she was too fast
- >She was ALWAYS too fucking fast
- >...Goddammit
- >Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, the Princess of Love and the Ruler of the Crystal Empire, tackles you to the ground with a big old smile on that stupid pink face of her's
- >"NONNY!"
- "FUCKING SHIT!"
- >Your crossbow wildly fires off into the air as fucking Cadence knocks you to the ground like a big, stupid, pink puppy
- >Now on your back you try to bash the alicorn with your crossbow but it disappears in a burst of magic
- >Cadence, with a big smile on her face, wrapped her hooves around your neck and pulled you into a bear hug
- >"Oh Nonny! I came as fast as I could!" the Princess of Love said, oblivious to the fact that you were pounding your fists against her sides, trying to beat her off of you
- >Fucking indestructible alicorns
- >"I almost couldn't believe that a big ol' grump like you would let two mares into your heart but it happened!"
- >You try to pull the pink horse off of you big she's too fucking strong
- "LET GO OF ME YOU FUCKING PUTZ!" you snarl
- >Purple eyes regard you as Cadence giggles
- >"I told you that you'd find love, Nonny-kins," she said with a smirk. "I told you but you didn't listen! Now who's the silly one?"
- >You don't know how you did it but with a herculean amount of effort you managed to rip Cadence off of you and stand up
- >"...What the buck is going on here?"
- >Panting like a racehorse you look over and see Bonbon and Lyra were standing on the porch, staring at you in confusion in concern
- >You opened your mouth to reply when you see a flash of white out of the corner of your eye
- >...Goddammit...
- >This time you try to roll away but your new attacker was faster than Cadence
- >So just like last time you were tackled, knocked onto your back and looking up into the sky
- >...For fuck's sake...
- >"Hi Anon!"
- >You look down to be Shining Armor's big stupid horse face
- >"So I heard SOMEPONY'S got himself a couple of marefriends!"
- >...
- >...
- >...
- "I hate you two," you say after a moment, letting your hard thud against the ground. "I hate you two so fucking much."
- >Fucking love hoers...
- >Fucking head cap'n pone...
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