Just Like Me

>A light fog coils around your feet as the sun lazily warms your back. It feels soothing against the cold nip in the morning air as you unlock the door to your shop.
>"Anonymous?"
>Looking over your shoulder you notice a small mare with a white coat and purple mane standing there panting.
"Yeah?"
>"The Princess has an urgent summons for you."
>Your stomach drops like an anvil because this has never happened before. Sure, you've been up to the castle on invitation but never anything urgent.
"Like a drop everything and come now kind or urgent?" The mare nods, "What's wrong?"
>"I don't know, I was sent to find you right away. Follow me."
>Before you can say anything else, the mare starts to run off toward the castle so with an unsteady step you follow.
>You're led through a small maze until you arrive just outside the throne room where both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna stand. And Twilight.
"Your highnesses, and Twilight," who glares at you while you try to catch your breath, "What's happened?"
>The three exchange cautious glances then Princess Celestia clears her throat.
>"Princess Twilight," she says pointedly, "Has found a second... Anonymous."
>The statement runs through your head a few times as you try to understand it but it just doesn't go.
"A second Anonymous? What? How can there be two of me?"
>"Uh, well, he's not you. You see, we just call any new specimen 'anonymous' until we can learn more about it. It's a science thing," Twilight adds in that haughty 'I know more than you' tone of voice.
"Was that seriously where my nickname came from? Twilight... That is the stupidest science thing I have ever heard of."
>Her glare returns with a greater intensity that it startles you for a second.
>"It's another human," Luna finally explains.
"What?"
>Your first thought is a woman but then, it has been so long you can't accurately remember what they look like.
>Sure, when it gets to be so long you knew you'd forget individual faces but forgetting an entire gender still messes with you.
>The best you're able to picture now is a version of you with long hair and man-boobs.
>Which raised a different set of problems.
>Then you think of Rarity and begin to feel bad.
>And then, you realise you're probably going to have to explain why you're fucking a horse now.
>You hope this new human is understanding. Maybe you could explain it away as one of those stranded island cases.
>Like, "Hey, give me a break. You saw Castaway right? Tom Hanks would have been prepared to fuck a rock with a hole in it after that long."
>It needs work.
>Your stomach twists and turns in knots to the extent that you feel like you need to throw up.
>Shit, and you're going to have to deal with getting them to adjust. You can't even remember how long it took you to get used to everything.
>"Anonymous?" Celestia says in a way that suggests she was repeating herself.
"Sorry. I, uh... was thinking. How are they doing?"
>"Shaken a little. I've been helping him adjust as best I can." replies Twilight.
>"Anonymous, he came out of the Everfree too."
>You nod. It's all you're able to manage right now.
>Then you recall hearing him and swear a few times in your head.
"Well, can I meet him?"
>They all nod and step aside for you to walk in.
>Your hand pauses over the door, hesitating.
>Twilight steps beside you and gives a warm smile, "He seems nice."
>You feel a little comforted and for once are glad for the purple menace to be around but at the same time don't want her to feel like you're on the path of friendship with her and so, you poke your tongue at her.
>This makes you laugh which goes a little way to easing the tension and also makes Twilight pout. Which also helps.
"Okay," you say to yourself and push.
>The doors swing open and there stands, a little awkwardly looking around, another human.
>Just like you. Though a little chubbier, younger, his clothes are plain, and paler skin. But just like you. Human.
>There's a flutter of butterflies in the pit of your stomach as he turns around to face you.
"Holy shit, there really is another human."
"Yeah... I'm--"
>You're cut off by him wrapping you up in a great bear hug.
>Part of you already disliking him but at the same time enjoying the physical touch of another human.
>How many years has it actually been? The number escapes you.
>"Anonymous, meet Anonymous," Twilight interrupts.
"Anonymous," the other chuckles, clearly confused.
"It's a stupid thing they do. They call something they don't know, Anonymous, until they know more about it." you tell him, just regurgitating the face you only just found out a moment ago.
"So, there's really no other humans but us?"
>You nod.
"And I've been here for a... Long time too."
>He nods grimly, sympathy written clearly on his face that feels almost like a comfort.
"I can't imagine. I mean, I'm barely adjusting right now," he laughs nervously, "Everything is so strange here."
"You get used to it. In a 'everything is strange' kind of way."
"Guess you kind of have to," he smiles, the uncomfortable laugh escaping once again.
>"So, we need to sort out this Anonymous thing. We can't just call you both Anonymous."
"You've been calling him Anonymous?"
>"For science," the purple turd nods.
>You roll your eyes.
"I thought it was just going to stick as a nickname, but I guess not anymore."
>He seems a little deflated at this.
"We could just use your name."
"Of course. I just... New world, new identity kind of had me excited you know? I wanted to be like Marty McFly telling everyone I was Clint Eastwood."
>You stare at him, puzzled.
>He looks at you, shocked.
"You've never seen Back to the Future? It's a classic!"
"I have been here for a long time."
>Then he seems to notice the grey in your beard and hair for the first time.
>You just nod at him as he seems to finally understand.
"Wow. I really can't imagine what that's like."
>All you manage is a shrug. Which kind of annoys you as it seems so dismissive.
"It's just my life now, you know?"
>"Anyway," interrupts Twilight, "We need to work out what to call the new Anonymous."
"Well, it's not Clint Eastwood. You look nothing alike."
>He laughs heartily.
"Anonymous 1 and Anonymous 2," you add so Twilight can't add whatever dumbass suggestion she's got.
"I really don't want to be doing Bananas in Pyjamas bits."
>"Bananas in Pajamas?" you ask in unison with Celestia and Luna.
>It startles you a bit as you actually forgot they were even in the room.
"Oh, right. I guess I'll have to watch those kind of references if I don't want to be explaining myself till the end of time."
>You chuckle a little. It's interesting to see him have his own little difficulty that you never did. Though, something like not talking about whatever tv show or video game this kid likes is a rather small one.
>"We could always use a word like Anonymous?"
"Or, his name?" You repeat.
"Nah, i want a nickname," the new guy beams."
>"Incognito," suggests Twilight with a tone of finality.
"I like it," he replies.
"Really?"
"What, you don't?"
"Well, Anonymous always sounds odd but Anon works. Not really the case with Incognito. Incog? Cog? They sound just as odd. Plus--"
>"Incognito works great, thank you very much."
>You open your mouth to start shit with the purple nurple but Celestia steps in.
>"If Incognito likes that as his nickname, then that's what we'll go with."
>You roll your eyes but don't push it any further.
>Besides, Celestia is giving you that look that says you need to get along with Twilight. While that would normally be too complex a meaning to decipher from someone's face, you've seen it enough times to recognise it immediately.
>"We thought it best that he would stay with you," Luna finally adds to the conversation.
"What?"
>"You're the only human. It would probably be easier for him to adjust to things if he were near someone of his own kind."
>While they make a good point, you feel uncomfortable letting some stranger you just met into your house.
>"After all, Rarity will be visiting you in a few days. Saves her going back and forth."
"Who is Rarity?"
>You glare at her who gives her own poke of the tongue before Celestia steps in to give a stern look in Twilight's direction.
"She's the one who makes my clothes."
>There's a pause as the ponies seem to wait for you to continue the explanation but Incognito doesn't notice.
>"So, him staying with you is alright?" Luna asks.
>You hesitate. Something Incognito does pick up on.
"I mean... If you don't want to, I should be able to find some place."
"No. No, it's fine. I have a spare room after all," you resign.
>Incognito seems to brighten up before he gives you a hefty whack on the back.
"I'm looking forward to it buddy."

-----

"Oh, wow. You live on top of a cafe?"
"Hm? Oh, yeah. It's more of a tea shop most days." Your reply is a little stilted, disjointed after the entire walk over was spent in silence.
>Incognito, Incog, Cog, he seemed to just be taking things in at the moment. Almost looking overwhelmed a few times.
>You feel a responsibility to check in on him but at the same time are at a bit of a loss for what to say.
>Nothing really comes to mind when you try to think about what might have helped you when you first arrived. Everything is just so foreign by comparison after all.
"Is it any good?"
You shrug, "It might be a small place but I get quite a few customers, mostly regulars."
"Wait, it's yours?"
>You simply nod as Incognito stares blankly at the place.
"The Crow's Laugh? Kind of a hipstery name, don't you think?"
"I didn't name it."
"Huh... Who did then?"
"There's a whole story there. Maybe I'll get into it another time."
>As you look over your shoulder, you notice him looking a little dejected.
>You let out a sigh then are about to say something when you notice something in the corner of your eye.
"Moon Dancer?" You ask as the mare pokes her head out.
>"I was wonder what took you so long," she replies then notices Incognito with a wide-eyed shocked, "There's two of you."
"This is... Incognito. Incognito, this is Moon Dancer."
>"Incognito?"
"Her Royal Highness Twilight's idea."
>Moon Dancer nods, catching on to quite a lot with such a small statement.
"She works for me here and spends pretty much every bit I give her on books," You tell Incognito to try and bring him into the conversation.
>He waves and Moon Dancer waves back, still somewhat in a daze.
>You unlock the door and let the two in before following after.
>The Crow's Laugh is a cosy shop. Wooden flooring and furnishings, leather seating, and warm yet dim lighting reminds you more of a classic Irish Pub at times.
>At first it was like there was a bit of home with you and it worked for marketing quite well too.
>The ponies figured this was what all cafes back on Earth were like and you weren't about to correct that.
"Celestia used that term too, bit?"
"The currency here. Which reminds me, are the princesses giving you an allowance or something?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Just making sure, they gave me one when I first got here. Look, Moon Dancer. I'm probably going to close up after lunch I think but because it's short notice I'll give you a day's wage."
>"You're the best Anon."
"Don't you forget the next time I ask you stay back for a little bit."
>"I won't. I won't."
>You know she will but you don't push it. Moon Dancer is easy going enough when it comes to all the workers you've had.
"If you want, I could help out?"
"I don't really need an extra set of hands. This is a small shop after all, but I guess. You know how to make tea or coffee?"
"Not professionally."
"Can you cook?"
"Heh, wasn't much of a chef back home. Instant food stuff, you know?"
>"Me too," chuckles Moon Dancer.
"You're on dishes then," you sigh.

-----

>The day goes by... Not as badly as you thought.
>Moon Dancer and Incognito spent half the day talking. Mainly about their own pop culture from what little you heard.
>It was good that Incog seemed to be making fast friends so you decided to let it slide today.
>Ponies that noticed it were naturally very curious, so you answered a few of the same questions to everyone before shuffling to the next customer.
>"Is it really another human, like you?"
>"What's he like?"
>"How did he get here?"
>"I bet you're excited to have another of your kind around, right?"
>"So, what's his name?"
>With the news spread around town like a disease, the lunch hour rush was one of the biggest rushes you've had since your first few days here.
"Wow. A lot of ponies wanted to know about me."
>You take a seat opposite Incognito and had him a sandwich. He thanks you before taking a bite.
"Oh, there's no peanuts in here, is there?"
>You look up in shock as you realise where this is headed.
"No. You allergic?"
>He nods before taking another bite.
"Don't you think that's the kind of thing you should mention before chowing down."
"Slipped my mind. It's been a day after all."
>You give him that much.
"Anything else I should know?"
"Nah. No other allergies and I'm not picky about food."
>You nod then the two of you eat quietly for a little while.
"That's just Canterlot, by the way." Incognito looks at you in confusion so you add, "The attention. You're the new interesting thing going on. It'll die down some in a bit."
"Shame. I've never been the centre of that much attention."
"I'm sure if you play your cards right, you could keep it going. You know, interesting fact about yourself or humanity here, captivating story every so often."
"Look at me, I'm hardly the type that's lead an interesting life so far."
>The two of you share a light-hearted chuckle before going silent, the self-deprecating joke sounding a little too sincere to be anything but awkward.
>It carries on for a little while before Incognito speaks up.
"So, what has it been like for you?"
>You look up with a curious expression, unsure of what answer he's looking for.
"Being here. No humans. Nothing but ponies."
"Ah, well, it took a lot to adjust to. If I'm being honest, I thought I was insane the first day."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I didn't say much to any one at first. But I came around."
"What was the hardest change you had to get used to?"
>You lean back and exhale deeply.
>While part of you does want to go into the actual difficulties you went through, some of them feel personal and the conversation sounds a little light-hearted so far.
"Nicotine withdrawl."
"They don't have them here?"
"Actually they do. I just didn't know that, at least, not until I'd basically quit."
"That's gotta suck," Incognito laughs mid-chew.
>You do your best to ignore it and push the photographic memory of half chewed food flying about.
"But, seriously."
"Serious?"
>Again you let out a sigh as you decide to let it out.
>Incog is hardly someone you're close to so it's not as if his disapproval will do anything and part of you already feels like you're trying to hide the fact. Which leads you down an emotional complex filled with guilt.
"Okay, so, I've been here for a long, long time."
>Incog nods.
"I mean long."
>He nods again as he chews.
"I'd made a few friends and all but naturally, I was still pretty lonely. No other humans about and to make things worse, I couldn't remember what a girl looked like."
>Incog chokes on his food. He instantly begins to cough and splutter, his face turning a shade of pink as you dart off and return with a glass of water.
"Woah. Sorry, I just. Was not ready for that... Are you serious?"
"Yeah. I mean, I remember the general idea--shape of women but a face? Couldn't picture one. The body proportions were never quite right in my head. It was like a blurry image."
>Incog leans back. His mind completely beyond repair for a time.
"I can't even process that. Shit, that will probably be me after a while."
"Never know," you try to say diplomatically, knowing full well that it likely will.
"Then how were you... You know. Handling things?"
>Incog's face is a little uncomfortable asking but it's clear curiosity blazed ahead of his brain or mouth in asking that one.
"I, Uh."
>You open your mouth a few times to try and speak but your voice catches each time.
>Then slowly, Incog's eyes widen in understanding.
"WHAT?! You've fucked some of the ponies, haven't you?"
"SH! Would you?" you shush him in a harsh whisper, "Seriously? Do you have to ask it like that?"
"You have, haven't you."
>You nod.
>Part of you feels a little cowardly for being unable to vocally admit it but there is something about having to admit to another member of your species that you fucked a horse that's really uncomfortable.
>Even if you barely know the other human.
>But Incog doesn't really look that disgusted.
>In fact, he is sporting a massive grin that looks about to tear his jaw off the hinges as he looks at you with a... Look of pride?
"Shit. This is amazing. You know, when I first got here, the first thing I thought was that I'd like to try and fuck one of those horses."