Liby Noire [Liby][/tlvg/]

You might be asking yourself, “Liby Loud. How do you get yourself into these wacky situations?” If only I knew, kid. If only I knew.

But here I am; gagged, bound, tied to a chair, and all because I could never say ‘no’ to a pretty face and some long legs.

Okay. That doesn’t sound that wacky. Sounds like I’m gonna be in an Amber Alert, but, trust me, if you were there? Wacky. To make sense of it all, I need to start from the beginning.

///
Knock. Knock.

“Yeah?” I look up from a cold glass of chocolate milk, on the rocks. Soaking my misery, there hasn’t been a client in a month.

“Honey, there’s a boy at the door.” My secretary says through the door.

“Send him in!” I shout, a bit too excitedly. “Ahem. Send him in, doll face.”

“Ooo! Should I bring up snacks?” She says.

“No, Mom! He’s a client.” I says, taking a sip on my drink to calm the nerves.

“Okay, sweetie. Don’t forget that I have that show tonight.” She says, ugh, I wish she would just do her job.

“Okay, let my client in.” I say, she’s testing my nerves and they’re C averages.

“Uncle Lincoln is gonna swing by and cook dinner. Okay?” God above.

“Okay!” I seeth, it doesn’t matter a lick to me.

“Alright, dear. Have fun.” Finally, she does what I ask her to.

A few minutes and the rest of the glass of choco later, this tall glass of milk is shyly peeking through my door. Long lashes, blonde locks, and a shiner the size of a door knob.

“Jeez, kid, you’re looking rough. What? Jump into a pile of leaves centered on a hydrant?” I say.

“Liby, I got jumped. I think it was the Cookie Cartel. Could you do something about it?”

“Lyle, please, I don’t smack the bow out of your hands. Play along.” He rolls his eyes, but he knows I’m in control here.

“Fine. What? Am I like a dock worker or something?” He asks, flipping his hair over his shoulder.

“No. No. I was thinking like a femme fatale.” I frame up the shot with my thumbs and fingers, yeah, looks real good.

“What? A chick!?” His voice cracks.

“Not necessarily.” I reply and then start to explain. “I mean, I could get you like a Jessica Rabbit dress and- you know what? Never mind.” He doesn’t want to go that far. And I respect that.

Lyle sighs and puts his head in his hands. One. Two. Three. He looks up. “Liby, you gotta protect me. I’m sure their after me for my connections to the Scout Scouts! They know we’re selling popcorn next month and they want to wipe out the competition.”

“I’ll look into it, doll face. Forget my usual fee, just pay expenses, a beauty like you shouldn’t have to fear for her life.” I say as I walk around my desk. “I’ll get to the bottom of this.”

“I’m counting on you, detective.” He says as he turns and looks over his shoulder.

“See? That wasn’t so bad.” I say, breaking character.

“I feel dirty and used.” He sticks his tongue out as if he bit a pill. “You’re really gonna take care of this?”

“Yeah, Yeah. Meant the thing about the expenses though. I’ll have receipts, so don’t worry.” I assure him.

“Ugh.” There goes that eye roll.

Damn, I thought I could get him in that dress. But that would have to wait, now, it was time to beat some bricks. First stop? My main contact with the cookie dealers in town, Leia Loud. A pint-sized packet of peanutbutter cookies and a pissy attitude, but she knew what was up and what was down in the seedy underbelly of cookie distribution. I was just gonna have to ask for a receipt, because her ‘advice’ didn’t come cheap. Or easy.

///
I cross town on my '18 7-speed, cherry red, taking Maple onto Cottonwood, heading for Aunt Lola's, she lives on the rich side of town. Because, of course, she does. I lock up my bike on the gate that surrounds her neighborhood, then I walk over to the intercom and punch in her extension. It rings a few times, but then I hear a husky voice on the other end.

"Hello?" My aunt asks.

"Aunt Lola? It's me, Liby." I say, hunching awkwardly towards the intercom.

"Oh. Luan's girl. What do you want with me?" She says, the sound of a martini shaker can be heard.

"I was wondering if Leia was there. So, we could play." There's a moment of silence.

"Leia? Leia?" Lola seems to shout away from the intercom. "I don't think she's here. She's probably with her little friends."

"Ah." That's gonna be a problem. "They usually hang out at the park, right? On Maple?"

"I believe so." She says. "Is that all you need? I have a guest and- hey, calm down there."

"Yeah, yeah, we're good. Thanks, Aunt Lola." I say as I turn away. Yeesh.

"No problem, dear. Now, you get those-" I hear from the intercom before it clicks.

///

Back up Cottonwood and back down Maple. I was hoping to catch Leia alone, she's not soft on her own and she's never owed anything to anyone. When she's around her girls though, she doesn't give an inch, ever. I'm not sure if that's because she thinks she can't without being dethroned or she is that loyal to them. This was going to be a headache at best, a concussion at worst.

I pull up to trouble as Leia and her gang are shouting at some girls, near the monkey bars. Leia is at the front, getting in the face of one of the girls. I jump off of my bike and hit the ground running towards them.

"I'm gonna knock the rest of your teeth out, if you don't-" Leia says as she pokes her opponent's chest.

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's the issue here?" I say as I come up to the edge of their scuffle.

"Why don't you ask them? They're the ones who came up and started talking-" Leia turns to me. "What the heck are you wearing, Liby?"

She is referring to my sick fedora and trench coats, of course. I'm about to explain this, when the other girl takes that moment to take a swing and send Leia to the ground. Then Bedlam breaks out. Marcy and Gwen, the brains and the muscle respectively, leap on their match and get to work. Shit. I hesitate for a second, but I'm not letting my cousin get wrecked because of me. I push the other girl off from her pin and pull Leia up from the ground, she takes a wild swing at me.

"Hey, hey! Leia, chill out." I say as I dodge back.

"Crap!" She hisses as she realizes her mistake and turns and descends on the girl I pushed down.

"I give. I give!" The girl screams.

"Not good enough." Leia says as she establishes her pin and start twisting the girl's braid.

"Ow! Ow! What do you want?" She cries.

"Cash. Now. Or this french braid is coming out like a clump!" Leia says coldly, letting the twist relax.

"I got 4 dollars." She says as she tries to catch her breath.

"Which pocket?" Leia gives a quick twist.

"Front left!" The girl shouts. Leia snakes her hand into the girls overall pocket. Four crumpled dollars.

"Good. Now get lost!" Leia says as she stands up and kicks sand up at the girl. "Marsha. Gwen. We're good!"

I look over and Marsha and Gwen's girls are beaten bloody, scraps and bruises, all over. I didn't even hear a shout. They stand up and form back on their leader, Leia hands the cash to Marsha who then whispers the total. Leia nods.

"Get out of here. I don't want to see you around here anymore." Leia says and the girls run off. She then turns to me with a pissed off look and bruised cheek. "What the fudge do you want, Libs?"

"Candy cigarette? This might take a while." I say, holding a packet of candy out for her.

"Fine." She says as she takes three and hands two to her friends, they take them. Marsha tucks it away and Gwen chomps down on it, while Lola puts it between her lips.

"Lyle shows up to my house with a shiner like a doorknob. He says it's Cookie Cartel trying to muscle in on Scout Scout territory. I figured you might have some insight, I don't think anyone has sold as many cookies as you, short of Mrs. Fields. Then I show up and you're about to rumble with three girls? Do you know them?" I pretend to take a drag and blow some smoke.

"Nah, I don't know them. You think they were CC?" Leia looks to her friends.

"They could have been. They seemed acutely aware of who you were." Marsha says, before shrugging.

"Yeah!" Gwen jumps in. "They were talking a lot shit about Leia and us, they had to have been Cartel."

"We're not really being very helpful." Leia says, biting off some of the candy. "But I think I might know someone who does."

"Thanks, I appreciate it." I say, pulling out a fresh cigarette.

"Talk to Aunt Lana, she was head of our Den when I was running with CC. She would know if anything is going on." Leia says, spitting out the cigarette. "These things suck, by the way."

"Yeah, but they look cool." I say as I turn away. "Thanks for the lead."

"They look stupid!" Marsha shouts after me.

"Nuh-uh!" I say over my shoulder as I pick up my bike and head off for my Aunt Lana's house. The autumn air begins to chill for the afternoon.