Thread 35: Stories 1-15

Thread 35 archive: http://archive.heinessen.com/mlp/thread/19037167
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>29
"MM"
'Trixie'
[Zecora]
~~~

>...So, uh, should we go?

"I don't think he was calling us."

'THAT BASTARD IS STEALING MY SCHTICK!'

[I do not want to be presumptuous about your skills, but I do not think you are the one who originally used these fires for thrills.]

'I was spelling stuff with fire before you were even born!'

"Pretty sure we're all older than you... maybe... Niney, how old are you-"

*POP!*

"OW!"

>You never ask an infiltrator his age! It implies we are getting old, and it's hard for an infiltrator to 'perform' when he is older, which means you're saying I'm about to die and I DON'T WANT TO DIE LIKE THAT!

"...Uh...sorry?"

>You should be! I am in my prime virility of life! Bring unto my a princess so fair, I will prove it in front of all those who wish to see!

'So, what, you're an exhibitionist now?'

>Some ponies like that!

[So are we going towards the flames? I wish you would make up your mind instead of whining like screeching trai-]

>Yes! Fine! Whatever!

[...Don't you cut me off.]

>...
"..."
'...'

>S-sorry....

[Good.]

"...Did anyone else just-"

>'YES.'

"Just checking."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Attendant
"???"
~~~~

>SIR! Please, no running!

"BUT IT'S FIRE! IN THE SKY! SPELLING STUFF!"

>...

"IT"S MAGIC FIRE!"

>...

"MAGIC FIRE I WILL GET TO USE TO SET FIRE TO MYSELF!"

>...You ever worry you have a problem, man?

"Yeah, I'm not on fire right now! That's a HUGE problem, but I'm working on it!"

>...They don't pay me enough for this shit.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
"Celestia"
~~~

>Alright, fan out. The moment you see her, you have full permission to sit on her until I reach you.

"You realize you're essentially condemning your wife to a brief smothering death, right?"

>She has her immortality, she'll be fine.

"Mmm... what if it's 18?"

>Oh, come on. Like 18 is really going to disguise herself as Cadence to hand out cotton candy...

"..."

>What benefit is that beside public opin- okay yeah, she might know Cadence is running around and trying to salvage her reputation..

"Really?"

>Not the first time...

"...Give her back."

>What?

"Give her back! Come on, you can't take the TWO really useful changelings, and Chrysalis won't let 42 work for me!"

>I'm not giving you 18.

"I need someone else to do the paperwork, Applejack is going to blow out at this rate!"

>You could teach your sister.

"Luna couldn't fill out a form to requisition a fuck to give, let alone hand them out freely."

>Sorry, she doesn't want to leave.

"Then at least take the rest of the ballroom!"

>And put them where? I've already got a population problem!

"B-"

>Don't say my ballroom!

"...Closet?"

>...

"...Just go find wifehorse."

>Speaking of, I don't think Cadence would go for more changelings in the Empire, especially not the castle. I mean, maybe if she was okay with it.

"Clearly, I need to marry you and request it!"

>...

"...why do you just look sad now?"

>Because I just realized that would have worked, and I now worry if I'm a doormat when it comes to Cadence-

"Yes."

>...

"You absolutely are. You are pure doormat when it comes to her. She gets doe-eyed and you melt like butter."

>I am no-

"...'

>...I'm going to go find Cadence now.

"You do that."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>32
"Dream!Chrysalis"
{Other!32}

32 looked across the throne room at Chryaslis, his blood running cold as the changeling queen regarded him with a mixture of detached amusement and utter disdain.

"And here you stand, in MY throne room, an ant looking upon the glory of a whale, a parasite finally able to see its host. You sicken me."

32 sighed and began to walk towards her.

"What is it you intend, little drone? To finish what you started? To kill me? We know you are of little match for me in truth."

He kept walking, the changeling warriors on either side of him began to hum lowly, a harmony underscoring the Queen's speech.

"Vengeance, you seek vengeance. For who? Who really? Your comrades in the caves? They meant nothing, just like you. For 88? She was a traitor like you, if she had a shred of loyalty she would have revealed her true gender and submitted herself to execution."

32 did not answer, he continued to walk.

"Or is it that you seek to avenge that pony. What was his name? Brass? Brick? I can't recall, he mattered so little. What was he to you, hm? A friend? A student? A prospective lover? Oh yes, you have a history of loving ponies, don't you?"

The changelings began to stomp their hooves on the floor.

"Baltimare, that...Equinologist."

32's teeth gritted. Keep. Walking.

"Yes, I don't think you even remember him, really. You don't remember his name. It was all so simple, wasn't it? Disguise yourself as a mare, woo him, find his research, destroy it, kill him. But then again I've come to expect you to fail even the simplest tasks."

It felt as though the throne room was...elongating. He picked up his pace.

"You lived with him, engaging in the life of a society wife. You attended his academic soirees, read his books, and took his love. But you came to love him back, didn't you? As time wore on, you began to delude yourself, you thought the Hive had forgotten about you, that you slipped through the cracks and could live a lie for as long as you could."

He closed his eyes.

"But we found you. You woke one night, felt a chill on your spine, walked out onto that back porch...and you saw the eyes. The eyes glaring at you, telling you a simple message. 'Times up.'"

32 bent his head down, he had to keep going, the stomping was growing faster in rhythm.

"You burned it all. All of his research into different possible pony species, and then you ran off into the night to rejoin us. You didn't kill him, no...no I had to send someone else to do that. But I was merciful for you being late and only getting the job half-done, I assigned you to a squad of eleven, thinking being around my loyal soldiers would mold you. My but wasn't I...hmm..."

32 sped up, he was almost running now.

"A thought occurred to me...how many years ago was that? Quite a few I imagine. Many, even. Yesss...yes, I remember now. A child."

Faster.

"Always coming to visit, always getting underhoof in such a delightfully scampish way. Couldn't go a day without a black eye or some little cut. And he'd always have on that silly..."

Faster!

"...little..."

FASTER!

"Helmet."

He lost his footing as carpet turned to stone, causing him to fall on his face.

"Ha! You should see yourself, curled up in pain, cringing at the facts. Poor 32...so which was it? Did you take him under your wing as some kind of apology...or were you merely updating to the latest model?"

32 stood, the stomping and hum ceased. He looked at Chrysalis not but a few yards away.

>...your majesty. I apologize.

"Hm? Oh we're far too late for tha-"

32 began walking forward again, full of purpose.

>I apologize, but I REALLY don't have time to debate with a third-rate imitation. He didn't even get your speech patterns right!

"What are you-!?"

He glared her in the eyes...then hauled off and smashed his hoof into the face of the warrior on his left. In an instant it was all gone, the throne room, the Queen, the warriors-well...not ALL the warriors...

32 stood over the sprawled out changeling on the ground, fangs bared.

>Reveal yourself.

A flash of green fire engulfed the prone changeling, revealing 32's other half, slowly standing.

{How...}

>I had you down for the type of pompous ass to LITERALLY put yourself at the Queen's side. Now...

32's eyes narrowed.

>Let's finish this.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Twilight
"Dash"
'Pinkie'
[Fluttershy]
~~~~~

>Will you come on!

"Magical dragging is not necessary! Back me up here!"

'WHEEEEE!'

[...yay.]

"TRAITORS!"

>But Spike is trying to get me to come over this way!

"You didn't care about the fireball!"

>...What fireball?

'There was a fireball?'

[I missed it too...]

"How the heck did you guys miss the GIANT FREAKING FIREBALL!?"

>...uh... and you didn't go off to check?

"Nah, looked like Queen Bitch's fireball, which meant either she was about to get her ass kicked or I could finally arrest her or something."

>...Dash, I think you have a problem.

"She's so fucking annoying!"

>She's not even in the same country as you most of the time!

"So? Have you ever had to put up with her for more than an hour? Then you understand."

>...You're just bitter she made those Changelings beat you up back at the wedding, huh?

"NEVER APOLOGIZED! NEVER ONCE! FUCK ALLLLL KINDS OF HER!"

>So, what happened to the fireball?

"Shield bubble, I think?"

>Oh, thank goodness.

"Yeah, thank goodness your brother was there with a leash, and not the kind she wants."

>...ew...

'Oh come on, I'm sure your brother doesn't have that kind of a leash.'

>...eewwww...

[And he'd only ever use it on Cadence if he did-]

>EWEWEWEWEWEWWWWWW! IT'S IN MY BRAIIIIIIN! I CAN SEE IT IN MY BRAIIIII-... that is actually pretty inventiv-EEWWWWWWWWWW

"She makes this too easy, I swear."

'No challenge at all.'

[I actually feel bad for her, I know what that version of me would look like...]

"..."
'...'

>"'EWWWWWWWWW"'!

[Sorry...]
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>Chrysalis
"18"
'Mane-Iac'
{Poindexter}
[Various]
~~~~

"This isn't awkward at all."

>Shut up, this is hilarious.

[Wow, lady, your Mane-Iac costume is AMAZING!]

'AHHHAHAHAHHAHAH! I KNOOWWWW!'

[Jeeze! She even got the laugh down!]

[How is she making the hair move so perfectly!?]

[TEACH ME PONY-SAMA!]

[Move you freaking weeaboo griffon!]

[DO NOT IMPEDE MY HONOR!]

[That leotard is just spot on, even!]

'AHAHAHAH!... everyone keeps using that word, and I have no idea what it means!'

[Even the voice is perfect!]

[How the hell would you know? It's a comic book!]

{Actually, she did have a voice in the power ponies radio play-}

[SHUT UP NERD!]

[Silence, gaijin pony, or I shall use the greatest weapon in history to-GAH!]

'AHHHHAHAHAHHA! YOU WISH TO FACE MY FRREEEEEEIIIIND, POINDEXTER!? THEN I SHALL FIIIIIIGHTAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!'

[...I'm good.]

'AHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHA... I mean, okay! I know no means no for fighting!'

>Told you, that griffon totally wet himself.

"She's going to get arrested."

>Mind control! I have it.

"...Isn't that illegal-"

>AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH

'OH! ARE WE LAUGHING!? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAAHAHHAHAH!'

>'AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH!'

"...And you want to be a part of this."

{I know, isn't she amazing? That laugh is heavenly.}

"..."

{...Maney, not... not Chrysalis.}
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chrysalis
"Cheerilee"
'77'
-Spike-
[DT]
{SS}
~~~
"Uh, oh. Chrysalis is coming this way."

'What's wrong with that?'

"She's pretty sore about losing the costume contest to me."

-We could just tell her to sod off.-

"Nah, funnier this way."

Cheerilee rushes off into a bathroom

>Hey, -Uhhh...

'Can't think of a 'jack' related name for me?'

>Yeah...

'You know, you should really just giv-'

>Oh, hey, 18! Thank the hivemind your here, have any of you seen Cheerilee? That bitch upstaged a me, a changeling queen in a costume contest!

"I just saw her going into the bathroom."

>Thanks. Don't worry, 77, I don't plan on hurting her, but I might make her wet in a way you'll find unpleasant.

Chrysalis grabs a hose and walks off

-Hey, 18, about earlier I wanted to say-

"Spike, it's me."

[Ms. Cheerilee?]

"The one and only."

Cheerilee takes out her changeling contacts and the cadence wig

{Holy shit!}

'You should have seen her pose as the Queen.'

[Had to be awkward]

'You have no idea.'

{So, you bullshitted her for now, she's gonna come back you know- What the hell?!}

Cheerilee is now dressed as 42

"Way ahead of you."

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Non-canon
>Spike
"Chrysalis"
~~~
We join our hero in the bathroom

And promptly dosed with hose water

>Gah! What the hell?

"Eat it, ya little shit! This is revenge!"

>Gah! Don't you know, dragons melt from water exposure!

"Oh, shit, seriously?"

>No. Seriously, no one has any idea what we dragons can do besides be immune to poison. ... Well shit, you made the toilet paper all soggy?

"Oh, damn... Well now I feel like less of a bitch and more like just a douche."

>There's a difference?

"Of course there is! I mean, seriously, ruining toilet paper for people on the crapper? That's unforgivable, even for me."

>Well, the stalls come with a spare roll that's housed in plastic.

"Whew, my conscience is clear. Suck water, ya little shit!"

>So glad this place is new and I already flushed...

"And while you're stuck there, I'm going to lecture you on the finer differences between being a Bitch and being a Douche. It all began with when Queen Bitch of the Universe the First had a sister who somehow ascended and wanted to distinguish herself from her superior sister..."

>Ugh... Just kill me...

"...And thus, disguised as a guy and infiltrated pony university frats and invented the beer bong. And then..."
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Non-canon
"Twilight"
>Chrysalis
~~~
The two are pouring over a tablet

>Hmmm... Okay and this one says... 'My hovercraft is full of eels'?

"Chrysalis, can you please be serious."

>I am! I kid you not this is Scorpina's hive dialect for 'my hovercraft is full of eels'

"Seriously? Hovercrafts didn't exist then!"

>Well the concepts of hovering and 'craft' like vague form of carriage or boat did. It's a vague term and craft is the best word.

"Huh... You wondering why this tablet would say something like that?"

>Scorpina was kind of a troll.

"So... You think the last passage you translated was not about demolition buildings"

>Well 'get wrecked' is addressed specifically to the reader, so I guess it's just her trying to have the last word.
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>Cadence
"???"
~~~

>Doo do do do doooo! Do do do do DOOOOOO! DO-

"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS LOVING IN THIS WORLD! Sing something else! ANYTHING ELSE!"

>I don't know any other sneaking songs!

"Then sing a non-sneaking song! ANYTHING!"

>...Chitty chitty bang bang, chitty chitty bang bang we love you! Ooh! Ooh! Chitty chitty bang bang-

"BULLSHIT!"

>....

"HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT!?"

>What do you mean? I love that movie! I watched it all the time back when I babysit Twilight, I could sing the whole thing by heart!

"...movie?"

>Yeah!... Wait, if you're not talking about the movie, how do you know it?

"...the musical?"

>I loved the musical too!

"That was pure luck... so, do you have any idea who made those films?"

>Nope, written by a ghost writer. Who knows who wrote that...

"Oh, don't worry... I'll find out."

>Cool! Tell me when you do!

"..."

>...what?

"Paint chips are not edible, you should know."

>So much anger issues. Just... so many problems. You need to relax. Sing it with me! Chitty chitty bang bang-

"I WILL EAT YOUR THROAT!"

>...

"...A-hem..."

>Did you just glow?

"No."

>Oh, okay, just wanted to double check.

"..."

>...The sky flickered red-

"It was nothing."

>...

"...Nothing at all..."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Applejack
“Rarity”
‘Jetset’
[Actarius]
{JJ}
(Arana)
~???~
~~~~~

[JJ, will you get off the ground already? We need to get as far away from- OOF!]

(WOOOO-)

{Huh.}

(-OOOOW! Did a pony just tackle Acty into that pond over there?)

{Correction. I think that pony was FLUNG at Acty. Like, punted almost. Did you see the way he arched through the air like- GAH!}

Another screaming stallion collided full-force with JJ, sending them both tumbling back and leaving a very excited Arana spinning around in her trenchcoat.

(I- hey, guys! I wanna join to! Is this a ride? Is it my turn next? Where do I stand? Here? Orrrrr is it here?)

Caught up in hopping about, trying to find where the ‘ride’ started, Arana didn’t notice the cloaked pony slowly approaching until his shadow loomed over her.

She blinked, trenchcoat rustling nervously.

(U-um… who are y-)

A sudden gust threatened to upend her coat when Applejack and Rarity rushed past, completely oblivious.

(Hey, wasn’t that…?)

‘…’

It was almost painfully baffling to recall that, less than an hour ago, he’d actually given his allegiance to the orange mare racing ahead.

Nevertheless, he had a mission to complete.

‘You’ve given us quite the runaround, Spiderling, but unfortunately all games must come to an en-’

A chilling voice crept over Jetset’s shoulder.

~Excuse me but I’m going to need you to take your hoof off of her.~

And then his world flipped violently. Swirls of trees, of the sky, of the park itself whizzed by in a nauseating blur as he spun without a prayer of control. Instinctively, he hunched into a protective ball, which lessened the pain that came with crashing into a balloon stand with all the force of being shot from a canon.

Screams.

A barrage of them, worried voices.

A trickle of blood down Jetset’s face.

A tongue to swipe at it followed by a slow, intrigued grin.

‘Hm. Almost forgot I could bleed it’s been so long. …Interesting.’

~~~~

>How we lookin’, Rars, we still on the right path?!

“Naturally! My sunglasses tell no lies, darl-… wait! Wait, wait, wait! About face, about face, we overshot her somehow!”

>…Consarnit, Rars, how ‘bout next time? Leave the science tuh’ Twi’, yeah?

“Oh shut up.”

{OUCH!}

>Oops… sorry ‘bout that, Juggleme, didn’t see ya there… lyin' on the ground. Why’re y’all on the ground?

{Forget about that! You remembered my name!}

>Well... yeah. Outside uh’ yer’ Queen, y’all are mah responsibility after all.

{…}

“…Is he crying?”

{So… h-happy….}

“Awww, poor thing.”

>We’ll deal wit’ it later, we gotta get back tuh’ Jet an’-

[OW!]

>Oh fer’ the love of… really? An’ jus’ what’re you doin' on the- no, forget it! No time!

Actarius struggled back to his hooves alongside JuggleJack.

[N-no time for what, Princess?]

>We’re lookin’ ‘fer Arana, ya seen her?

{You mean the Changeling with spider legs and overall cheerful demeanor despite her horrific past and soul-crushing parentage? No, not seen hide or hair of her.}

>…

“…”

{…Okay, bad time for jokes? Bad time for jokes. Roger, got’cha, please don’t kill me.}

“Tempting!”

[Leave him to me, but first thing’s first. Arana, right? Before we got blasted back with those pony projectiles, something you’ll explain on the way I’m guessing, we were standing over there.]

>Lead on, go go go!

~~~~

It happened so quick that Arana missed it, and she hadn’t even blinked! One second, that odd mare was behind the cloaked unicorn and then the next… he was flying without wings!

Arana’s gaze lowered to the mare standing within spitting distance of her and she subconsciously moved to further hide her spider legs, which only caused the most eye-drawing rustle within her tattered trenchcoat.

She didn’t know who this pony was but Applejack had once told her that the way to quick acceptance began with good manners.

(H… hello, my name is-)

~Arana.~

(No, it’s- wait, uh… yeah, you’re right, yeah it is! My name is Arana! And what’s yours?)

The mare only stared. Intensely. So intensely that Arana began to feel uncomfortable, her outstretched foreleg beginning to fall. But then a small bag of popcorn filled the space of her hoof.

(Huh?)

~It’s a hot day… so have a snack.~

And this time when Arana blinked, utterly confused, the mare was gone, popcorn machine and all.

The sound of rapidly approaching hooffalls kept her from pondering just what had happened when twin pairs of arms wrapped themselves around her and gave a tight squeeze.

>”ARANA!”

>Girl, y’all nearly gave us a goldarn heart attack!

“Where have you BEEN?!”

Poof.

That was the sound of that strange meeting being blown from Arana’s mind under the barrage of love she felt washing over her.

(Princess Applejack! Rarity! What- who- how- when’d you two get here?)

>You lil’ troublemakin’ ticklebug, if’n ya ever do somethin’ like that again….

But whatever annoyance Applejack had nursed faded like the morning mist as she nuzzled the little Changeling with a sigh of relief.

“So… you’ve just been with these two, dear? All this time?”

(Mmmmhm! They’ve been takin’ me on all sorts of rides! Even the ones that made JJ sick!)

{Sure, tell the whole world, Arana. Not like I’ve got much dignity l-… Hey… who’s that?}

Staggering slightly, Jetset approached the small group, a hair-thin crack in the right lens of his shades clearly visible. As was the dried strip of blood.

“Oh my word… Jet, dear, what happened to you? You look a fright!”

He passed by Rarity without a word and approached Arana, ignoring Actarius who tensed up almost protectively.

‘And… mission accomplished.’

The concussion took him less than three seconds later and he fell limp against Jugglejack.

{What the…?}

>Boy must’ve run himself ragged lookin’ for ya, Ara’.

(Really…?)

[His pony-chucking is testament to that.]

The sarcasm was lost on Arana who gave Jetset’s unconscious form a hug.

(Thank you, Mr. Jet!)

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Cadence
"???"
~~~~

Seconds earlier.

>It's a beautiful dayyy and I can't... Oh, hey look, ponies are flying-ACK!

"Please tell me that was you choking on your own bile and drowning."

>NO NO NO! Other way! Go around! I can't let Applejack see me!

"Well, that's just a..."

>Hey, you okay?

"..."

Without another word, she stepped forward.

>Oh, okay! I'll, uh, I'll be right here when you get back!... Hiding... just next to the dumpster here...

The other mare did not respond. No need to.

She had something else she needed to do...
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>2
"???"
'???'
[???]
{???}
~??~
~~

Sitting in the middle of the path between the concessions, a changeling was pondering.

>This ain't workin'! I need ta' find where Shiny and Auntielestia and Caddy went, but how am I s'posed ta' find the ponies of the pockylypse!

She poked a hoof to her chin, and thought... thought... thought...

>...Ah'm gonna need some backup on thissun!

She closed her eyes, letting herself drift away from reality, the sounds and sensations around her becoming a blur that melded together like melted ice cream. The prickling sensation of the day's air faded away, and was instead replaced by the imaginary hum of an air conditioner.

Her eyes snapped open, and no longer was she in the land of parties and fun, but instead in the stuffy, dry location of an office building. She sat at the head of a massive oak table, cheeks puffed out in her best attempt to make a stern face.

She slammed her hoof down on the imaginary wood, getting the attention of the other occupants lined up along the side of the table. Four other faces so familiar.

Mostly because they were her face.

>This here princess meeting is now commin' ta' order!

As one, they looked to her, barely able to pry their glances off whatever toys they had in front of them. One of them, a version of herself with a pink business suit that was literally painted on, groaned in annoyance.

“Do we have ta?”

A stapler flung across the table, landing right between the lazy filly's eyes. Opposite to her, a version of herself with a business suit that looked like it had been scribbled on with a black sharpie, smirked cockily and banged her hoof on the table.

'HAH! Right 'tween the eyes-OW!'

The version of herself sitting next to the stapler-thrower, one that had white sparkly stickers and the occasional rainbow kind plastered all over her in the vague shape of a suit, completely ignored the glare sent her way in response to the nose-flicking.

[We've gotta focus! It's an important meetin'!]

Across from her, one with a purple blanket wrapped around her in the vague shape of a suit smiled and nodded.

{Right! We gotta be smart fer' her!}

[What's this about, Two?]

She sighed, solemnly tilting her head.

>Well, Two. As you all know, we're currently lookin' fer Shiny, which is the super important.

All of them nodded enthusiastically, not a single disagreement among them.

>But we ain't got no way ta' reach 'em! How're we s'posed ta' find him, if we can't even make it past page two o' that one detective book!

“It's super hard though!”

'It's only hard cause yer' so dumb.'

“YER DUMB!”

[Nobodies dumb, okay! It's just a really hard book!]

{Right, even smarties have a problem with hard books, and it's super hard!}

>So what're we s'posed ta' do!?

The meeting pondered, and pondered, and pondered.

'...Fire? Can we set fire ta' somethin'? That normally works!'

>No, if we did that then ponies might think WE'RE ponies of the pockylypse, and then we have ta' go ta' jail like Thuntainia or that sword wizard.

“Shiny wouldn't let 'em take us ta' jail!”

{But he might have ta' get his pail like Not-Mom does fer 56 when ponies complain when he grabs their booties and he gets locked up, and then he'll be grouchy all day like she is.}

“I'd be grouchy too if I had to give up my pail too.”

>Yeah, none of us wanna give up our pail, so no fires.

[Can we ask an adult?]

>We don't know any of 'em, they might be ponies of the pockylypse in disguise!

“THOSE JERKS!”

>So, who can we go ta', in order ta' find out where Shiny is?

They all scrunched their faces, wracking their brains in a frenzy. To their horror... nothing came to them.

“IT'S HOPELESS!”

They all descended into a panic, screeching and flailing and tossing their toys every which way. The one in the purple suit curled up on the floor and started sucking on her hoof. The one in the pink simply fell to the ground in noisy tears, the one in the white just started banging her head against the desk, and the one in black grabbed her stapler and just started firing off randomly.

>COME ON! STOP! STOP IT! WE GOTTA FIGGUR SOMETHIN' OUT! COME ON GUYS WE GOTTA-

A sudden static crackling made them all jump, the tiny little speaker in the middle of the table letting out a loud pitched noise and igniting to life.

~Welll...~

The voice wasn't her own. This one was male, older, more familiar, more... safer.

*His* voice.

~If you can't ask just any adult, why not go find an adult you can ask?~

>That's the problem! Ah' can't find anyone Ah' know, and if I did they can't call you!

~Hmmm, well, if you can't call me, why don't you call someone else with me?~

>But tha' only pony with you is Auntielestia! How am I s'posed to...

Slowly, she felt that thought take flight in her brain.

>Call Auntielestia... CALL AUNTIELESTIA! THAT'S IT! It don't matter where you are, cause I gotta way ta' reach you! I just gotta...

The boardroom and all of it's occupants were swept away like smoke, and she was back in Partyland.

>I GOTTA GET SPIKE!

Briefly, she began to wonder how she would find him.

Then she noticed the flaming letters still in the sky.

>...Well, that's conv... convere... that's cool!

Chipperly, she tore off once more, bowling down ponies without a care yet again, a new drive in her step and marchmalley good feeling in her heart.

Unfortunately, the helmeted one still lost not far behind her had... less happy thoughts flowing through her mind at the moment.

Very... very unhappy thoughts.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Spike
"DT"
'SS'
(77)
~~~
(Spike, may I ask why you're still in that dress?)

"Is there something you want to confess?"

>I dunno, I'm just pretty secure in my sexuality to not really be bother by wearing women's fashion. Not much different than what I used to do when I'd sneak into Celestia or Twilight's drawers as a kid. A young kid I mean.

'I'm weirdly wishing I had seen that.'

"Me too."

(Well, to change the subject a bit... How is that fire remaining in the sky when you're not maintaining it?)

>I am maintaining it through my mind. Once I make a fire I can psychically control it.

('"Really?"')

>Actually no. It's a bit hard to explain, I just put 'more of myself' into that one, so it should burn for a good while after we finish with lunch. I'd say about forty five minutes.

(When did you learn this technique with your flames?)

>It's magic, I ain't gotta explain-

PUNCH!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NON-CANON
>2
"Twi"
~~~

>AUNTIE TWILIGHT! AUNTIE TWILIGHT!

"What is it sweetie?"

>Can someone make me pregnant?

"...."

*BOOM!*

>HOLY MARCHMALLEYS IN THE SKY HER HEAD A'SPLODED! IT'S GONE! IT'S JUST GONE!...NOBODY IS GONNA BELIEVE THIS!

~~~~Later~~~~

>I just asked her if someone could get me pregnant and her head-

*BOOOOMBOOOOMBOOOMBOOOM*

>IT KEEPS HAPPENIN'! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
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