N/a/meless Knight 2 - Corrections

A small bottle of holy water from the local church which is “ward-off evil guaranteed”. Check. Some onion. Check. A silver cross. Check. A bag of salt. Wait. Am I fighting a vampire? No, but… Hmmm. The contract did say something like “eldritch monster”. So… Well. They are all the same. Should things turn bad, I will just run away like usual.

With nothing else to care about, I leave my room.

Noon is starting to near, so the sun needs a little more time to reach the middle. East. The right side of East is South. The opposite is North. Well, let us see the contract again. The castle is located next to the Red River… If I remember it correctly, it should be somewhere South-West from here. Alright.

“NAM-SAN YOU BASTARD! You did not pay the rent and now you're trying to run away!? Do you believe that I'll kill you if you do that!?” – a thick middle aged women with a big bag with various cooking material cries.

I immediately do the ‘no-no’ gesture as I take the contract out and point at it.

“Ooh. I see. Finally got your lazy ass some work to do, huh? Good luck with that. Also, remember to clean your room when you get back, won’t you? Maybe under that helmet of yours, a nose doesn’t exist, but for me and the others. We. Cannot. Stand. The. Smell.” – she emphasizes her last words.

I nod continuously.

“Just don’t get yourself killed.” – the woman mumbles as she turns away. “I need someone with a big ”

I wave and let out a slight sigh afterwards. Her name is Clair. She is the owner of the inn that I am renting a room in. She… is sometimes over-protecting, over-caring and annoying, but she is a good woman after all. Just like my mom. My mom… I wonder how I can… Screw it. I will buy Clair a tuna fish when I get back. I do not understand the reason, but I do know it's her favourite kind of food to cook and eat.

As I get out of town, I can find the Red River with ease. The word ‘Red’ in its name is exaggerated since its color is a slight pink at best, but well… overall, it’s just a name. The Red River is in my sight and so is the castle. Alright. Here comes the problem. I  think that I can swim, but swim with armour? No. “When there’s a will, there’s a way”, they said. The castle is next to the river, therefore, the bridge should be somewhere nearby.

I continue strolling around the river bank. In the end, it doesn’t take me too long to find an old and moss-covered wooden rope bridge. If I have a choice, I absolutely will not walk on the bridge, since I feel like it could break the moment something weighing more than a cat steps on it. Alright. I close my eyes, take a deep breath and then let it go. I should fight everything on my own.

I put half of my foot on it. The bridge doesn’t creak as much as I anticipated. Slowly and firmly, I carry on. When I am in the middle of the bridge, without any indication, the rope breaks.

“Well. Fuck.”

That’s all I can think of. It's the same as the present. A small brick hits my head. Oh my dear helmet. You are really great. The only thing that you cannot do is boost my luck, can you?

“TAKE MY HAND, NA-SAN, NEKO!!” – Sakura cries.

As if I have any other choice. You are going to use some magic that you have just pulled from your ass, aren't you?

I am never wrong, as always. In the blink of an eye, or even faster, the three of us appear at a great, green grass-covered plain. It seems like nothing is threatening us… At least for now.

“You see, Na-san, Neko!? I am a genius. Who else can…” – Sakura starts boasting about her ‘magical ability’ already. Meanwhile, I silently lay on the ground without the intention of getting up and continue staring at the blue flawless sky. I am as pathetic as ever, huh?

After a while of struggling with nearly twenty kilograms of water-soaked armour, I finally crawl upon the riverbank. At least the water is clean. Weapons and stuff are still here. Holy water is mixed with a little river water. Does it decrease the effectiveness? God knows.

Finally, here is the castle. It looks old and time-worn enough. I walk into the front yard. Behind me, in the place that it supposed to have a door to stop thieves and burglars, or at the very least, prevent the place from being a stray animal’s playing place, there is nothing. Windows are shattered into small pieces and scattered everywhere. Wild grass and moss make this place their home, putting their roots deep into any crack that they can find.

Well, luckily, it’s not like they will pay me to clean the castle.

Some cats run as they see me. They look well-fed. You are lucky, cats. The next time you run into me, you will be as good as dead. I happen to know this Chink guy who is extremely good at cooking, and you know what his speciality is? Dog and cat meat.

Wait. What the hell is this Chink, Niponese and Moonrune that I have mentioned? How do I explain this…?

To put it in short, the continent is called Clichette. The common language is Niponese. The name of a race is Chink and Moonrune is an old kind of character. Not so clear, but… Well. To be more clarified, we have two big areas named East and West, people are called Easterner and Westerner respectively. Eastern races includes Chinks, Gooks, Nips and something else that I cannot remember. Western races include Slavs, Aryans and some others that I can't even be bothered caring about.

As for me… Well. I am an Aryan master race. Deep down, I don’t think Eastern races are even the same being as me. But outside, let’s pretend that we do not care about races at all.

Continuing my adventure…

Inside the castle, there is nothing but dust and garbage after a little explore of mine. I can find anything but a living creature. As I take my time, the blue sky slowly turns purple and the sun sets.

The stars are winking and gentle winds are blowing. My ears catch nothing but cats’ cries. It seems like they are asking for food. Stupid cats. I did tell you that I happen to know this Chink guy, didn’t I? His name… Hmmm. I can recall the Moonrunes 衫菁王… It should be something like Shan Jing Wong… Is there something wrong here? I think… No.

I return to the front yard.

I am dazed by the creature that is standing there.