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- 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000
- INDOXXI
- Support dengan like & share :)
- 1
- 00:00:37,115 --> 00:00:41,551
- Ladies and gentlemen, welcome
- to my underground lair.
- 2
- 00:00:41,619 --> 00:00:43,886
- I have gathered here before me
- 3
- 00:00:43,954 --> 00:00:46,889
- the world's deadliest assassins,
- 4
- 00:00:46,957 --> 00:00:52,596
- and yet each of you has
- failed to kill Austin Powers.
- 5
- 00:00:52,663 --> 00:00:56,483
- That makes me angry, and
- when Dr. Evil gets angry,
- 6
- 00:00:56,551 --> 00:00:59,019
- Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset.
- 7
- 00:00:59,086 --> 00:01:01,938
- And when Mr. Bigglesworth
- gets upset...
- 8
- 00:01:02,006 --> 00:01:04,591
- People die!
- 9
- 00:01:04,659 --> 00:01:05,675
- Aah!
- 10
- 00:01:05,743 --> 00:01:06,943
- Ha ha ha!
- 11
- 00:01:07,011 --> 00:01:08,094
- Aaah!
- 12
- 00:01:08,162 --> 00:01:09,696
- Whoaaaa!
- 13
- 00:01:09,764 --> 00:01:10,931
- Aaaah!
- 14
- 00:01:10,999 --> 00:01:14,785
- Why must I be surrounded
- by frickin' idiots?
- 15
- 00:01:14,852 --> 00:01:16,403
- Aah! Aah!
- 16
- 00:01:16,470 --> 00:01:18,405
- Aaaaaah! Aaaaaah!
- 17
- 00:01:20,808 --> 00:01:24,311
- Mustafa, Frau Farbissina,
- 18
- 00:01:24,379 --> 00:01:28,031
- I spared your lives because I
- need you to help me rid the world
- 19
- 00:01:28,332 --> 00:01:30,250
- of britain's top secret agent,
- 20
- 00:01:30,585 --> 00:01:33,770
- the only man who can stop me now.
- 21
- 00:01:33,838 --> 00:01:36,973
- We must kill Austin Powers!
- 22
- 00:01:43,514 --> 00:01:44,614
- Yeah!
- 23
- 00:02:15,997 --> 00:02:18,865
- Come on, babies. Work
- with me, people. All right.
- 24
- 00:02:18,933 --> 00:02:20,033
- Show me love.
- 25
- 00:02:23,171 --> 00:02:24,972
- Great, babies! Yeah!
- 26
- 00:02:25,957 --> 00:02:27,590
- Oh, behave.
- 27
- 00:02:29,227 --> 00:02:31,361
- Woman: It's Austin Powers!
- 28
- 00:02:31,428 --> 00:02:33,529
- [Women squealing]
- 29
- 00:02:51,633 --> 00:02:54,735
- It's Austin Powers! Aah!
- 30
- 00:03:36,928 --> 00:03:39,029
- [Beep beep]
- 31
- 00:03:46,870 --> 00:03:49,372
- Hello, Mrs. Kensington.
- 32
- 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:51,041
- Hello, Austin.
- 33
- 00:03:51,108 --> 00:03:54,144
- Why don't you ever model
- for me, Mrs. Kensington?
- 34
- 00:03:54,211 --> 00:03:57,647
- You know how Mr.
- Kensington feels about that.
- 35
- 00:03:57,949 --> 00:03:59,700
- Oh, behave.
- 36
- 00:03:59,767 --> 00:04:01,835
- Heh heh heh, yeah!
- 37
- 00:04:01,903 --> 00:04:05,672
- Yeah, baby! Yeah, heh heh heh.
- 38
- 00:04:05,740 --> 00:04:06,673
- Ow!
- 39
- 00:04:06,741 --> 00:04:10,060
- [Musical beeping]
- 40
- 00:04:10,127 --> 00:04:11,894
- Hello, Austin.
- 41
- 00:04:11,963 --> 00:04:15,031
- I'm basil exposition
- with British intelligence.
- 42
- 00:04:15,099 --> 00:04:18,501
- We have just received
- word that Dr. Evil
- 43
- 00:04:18,569 --> 00:04:20,287
- is planning a trap for
- you tonight
- 44
- 00:04:20,354 --> 00:04:23,673
- at the electric psychedelic
- pussycat swinger's club
- 45
- 00:04:23,740 --> 00:04:25,208
- here in swinging London.
- 46
- 00:04:25,276 --> 00:04:27,077
- We'll be there.
- 47
- 00:04:38,789 --> 00:04:40,156
- [Women squealing]
- 48
- 00:04:40,224 --> 00:04:42,342
- Yeah, have a look, baby!
- 49
- 00:04:42,409 --> 00:04:44,027
- Whoo!
- 50
- 00:04:44,095 --> 00:04:45,862
- There you go. Come on, baby.
- 51
- 00:04:45,929 --> 00:04:48,465
- Yeah, yeah!
- 52
- 00:04:48,532 --> 00:04:51,634
- [The strawberry alarm clock
- plays incense and peppermints]
- 53
- 00:04:54,205 --> 00:04:56,906
- Austin, it's a swinging shindig.
- 54
- 00:04:56,974 --> 00:05:00,276
- It's my happening, baby,
- and it freaks me out!
- 55
- 00:05:00,344 --> 00:05:03,079
- Yeah, man!
- 56
- 00:05:03,147 --> 00:05:06,683
- ♪ Little to win,♪
- ♪but nothing to lose ♪
- 57
- 00:05:06,751 --> 00:05:10,387
- ♪ incense and peppermints,
- meaningless finds ♪
- 58
- 00:05:10,454 --> 00:05:13,590
- ♪ turn on, tune in,
- turn your eyes around ♪
- 59
- 00:05:13,657 --> 00:05:17,560
- ♪ look at yourself,
- look at yourself ♪
- 60
- 00:05:17,628 --> 00:05:21,364
- ♪ yeah, yeah
- 61
- 00:05:21,432 --> 00:05:23,633
- Can I get you a drink,
- Mr. Powers?
- 62
- 00:05:23,701 --> 00:05:24,301
- Sure!
- 63
- 00:05:24,368 --> 00:05:27,437
- Austin, we've got
- to look for Dr. Evil.
- 64
- 00:05:27,738 --> 00:05:28,421
- Wait.
- 65
- 00:05:28,489 --> 00:05:30,423
- I've got an idea.
- 66
- 00:05:30,491 --> 00:05:31,491
- Uhh!
- 67
- 00:05:31,559 --> 00:05:34,493
- Austin! Why on earth
- did you hit that woman?
- 68
- 00:05:34,561 --> 00:05:36,395
- Right. Let me show you, baby.
- 69
- 00:05:36,463 --> 00:05:38,397
- That ain't no woman.
- 70
- 00:05:38,465 --> 00:05:40,700
- It's a man, man.
- 71
- 00:05:40,767 --> 00:05:43,336
- [Crowd gasps]
- 72
- 00:05:43,403 --> 00:05:45,037
- One of Dr. Evil's assassins.
- 73
- 00:05:45,940 --> 00:05:47,974
- Man: Look out! He's got a knife!
- 74
- 00:05:53,914 --> 00:05:55,198
- Good work, Mrs. Kensington.
- 75
- 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:56,466
- All right, get up. Get up!
- 76
- 00:05:56,533 --> 00:06:00,419
- Right...Where's Dr. Evil, huh?
- 77
- 00:06:00,487 --> 00:06:01,488
- Where is he?
- 78
- 00:06:01,555 --> 00:06:02,739
- Uhh!
- 79
- 00:06:02,806 --> 00:06:03,807
- [Women scream]
- 80
- 00:06:03,809 --> 00:06:05,091
- There's the bastard.
- 81
- 00:06:07,561 --> 00:06:08,995
- Come on. Let's go.
- 82
- 00:06:09,062 --> 00:06:09,996
- Coming through.
- 83
- 00:06:10,063 --> 00:06:11,631
- Excuse me.
- 84
- 00:06:14,585 --> 00:06:16,853
- I've got you now, Dr. Evil.
- 85
- 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:18,488
- Not this time.
- 86
- 00:06:18,556 --> 00:06:20,990
- Come, Mr. Bigglesworth!
- 87
- 00:06:21,292 --> 00:06:24,310
- See you in the future, Mr. Powers.
- 88
- 00:06:24,545 --> 00:06:26,796
- [Maniacal laughter]
- 89
- 00:06:28,566 --> 00:06:29,665
- My God!
- 90
- 00:06:29,733 --> 00:06:32,085
- He's freezing himself.
- 91
- 00:06:57,928 --> 00:07:00,013
- Basil: And so Dr. Evil escaped
- 92
- 00:07:00,081 --> 00:07:02,515
- and had himself
- cryogenically frozen
- 93
- 00:07:02,583 --> 00:07:05,886
- to return at a time when
- free love no longer reigned
- 94
- 00:07:05,953 --> 00:07:08,521
- and greed and
- corruption ruled again.
- 95
- 00:07:22,803 --> 00:07:24,320
- [Telephone rings]
- 96
- 00:07:24,388 --> 00:07:25,321
- Yes?
- 97
- 00:07:25,389 --> 00:07:26,456
- Commander gilmour?
- 98
- 00:07:26,524 --> 00:07:27,524
- Speaking.
- 99
- 00:07:27,591 --> 00:07:29,526
- Commander, this is
- ritter in sou-west com 3.
- 100
- 00:07:29,593 --> 00:07:31,961
- We have a potential bogey
- with erratic vectoring
- 101
- 00:07:32,029 --> 00:07:33,696
- and an unorthodox entry angle.
- 102
- 00:07:33,764 --> 00:07:36,132
- What are you saying, son?
- 103
- 00:07:36,199 --> 00:07:39,636
- Well, it appears to be
- in the shape of a big boy.
- 104
- 00:07:39,703 --> 00:07:41,638
- Good God... He's back.
- 105
- 00:07:41,705 --> 00:07:44,641
- Well, in many ways, the
- big boy never left, sir.
- 106
- 00:07:44,708 --> 00:07:48,511
- He's always offered the same high
- quality meals at competitive prices.
- 107
- 00:07:48,579 --> 00:07:49,646
- Shut up.
- 108
- 00:07:49,713 --> 00:07:52,314
- Shall I scramble tac
- hq for an intercept?
- 109
- 00:07:52,382 --> 00:07:53,983
- What's its current position?
- 110
- 00:07:54,051 --> 00:07:56,986
- I'm presently tracking
- it over Nevada.
- 111
- 00:07:57,054 --> 00:07:59,355
- Oh, my God! The big boy's gone.
- 112
- 00:07:59,423 --> 00:08:00,623
- Listen, son...
- 113
- 00:08:00,691 --> 00:08:03,793
- I want you to forget
- what you saw here today.
- 114
- 00:08:04,094 --> 00:08:08,181
- Phillips... call
- the president, sir.
- 115
- 00:08:08,248 --> 00:08:11,685
- Prepare the jet,
- bring my overnight bag,
- 116
- 00:08:11,752 --> 00:08:14,987
- and, uh, Phillips, feed my fish?
- 117
- 00:08:15,055 --> 00:08:16,823
- Not too much.
- 118
- 00:08:18,058 --> 00:08:20,894
- I'm off to
- London, eng-a-land.
- 119
- 00:08:25,749 --> 00:08:28,351
- Basil: Powers volunteered
- to have himself frozen
- 120
- 00:08:28,419 --> 00:08:30,520
- in case Dr. Evil
- should ever return.
- 121
- 00:08:30,588 --> 00:08:32,855
- Gilmour: Well, I hope
- your boy's up to it.
- 122
- 00:08:32,923 --> 00:08:35,891
- We don't wanna have to
- bail you guys out again
- 123
- 00:08:35,959 --> 00:08:38,027
- like after w.W.Ii.
- 124
- 00:08:39,796 --> 00:08:42,265
- Basil: This is our celebrity vault.
- 125
- 00:08:53,009 --> 00:08:54,477
- Please.
- 126
- 00:08:54,778 --> 00:08:57,130
- Russian officer: So, who
- is this Austin Powers?
- 127
- 00:08:57,198 --> 00:08:59,299
- The ultimate gentleman spy:
- 128
- 00:08:59,367 --> 00:09:02,268
- Irresistible to women,
- deadly to his enemies,
- 129
- 00:09:02,336 --> 00:09:05,938
- a legend in his own time.
- 130
- 00:09:06,007 --> 00:09:07,940
- Woman over speaker:
- Attention. Stage one:
- 131
- 00:09:08,009 --> 00:09:10,076
- Laser cutting begins.
- 132
- 00:09:12,079 --> 00:09:14,147
- Laser cutting complete.
- 133
- 00:09:25,026 --> 00:09:30,096
- Stage 2: Warm liquid
- goo phase beginning.
- 134
- 00:09:33,334 --> 00:09:36,369
- Warm liquid goo phase complete.
- 135
- 00:09:36,704 --> 00:09:40,790
- Stage 3: Reanimation beginning.
- 136
- 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:45,145
- Reanimation complete.
- 137
- 00:09:45,579 --> 00:09:48,181
- [Coughing]
- 138
- 00:09:48,248 --> 00:09:52,969
- Stage 4: Cleansing beginning.
- 139
- 00:09:57,274 --> 00:09:59,042
- Cleansing complete.
- 140
- 00:10:21,549 --> 00:10:26,352
- Stage 5: Evacuation beginning.
- 141
- 00:10:26,420 --> 00:10:28,488
- [Urinates heavily]
- 142
- 00:10:39,549 --> 00:10:42,268
- [Urination continues]
- 143
- 00:10:52,747 --> 00:10:54,814
- [Urination stops]
- 144
- 00:10:55,599 --> 00:10:57,033
- Evacuation
- comp--
- 145
- 00:10:57,101 --> 00:11:00,703
- [urination resumes]
- 146
- 00:11:05,642 --> 00:11:06,909
- [Urination stops]
- 147
- 00:11:06,977 --> 00:11:08,444
- Evacuation
- com--
- 148
- 00:11:08,512 --> 00:11:09,362
- [trickling]
- 149
- 00:11:09,430 --> 00:11:10,363
- Com--
- 150
- 00:11:10,431 --> 00:11:11,364
- [trickling]
- 151
- 00:11:11,432 --> 00:11:12,365
- Com--
- 152
- 00:11:12,433 --> 00:11:13,666
- [trickling]
- 153
- 00:11:13,734 --> 00:11:15,451
- Evacuation
- com--
- 154
- 00:11:15,519 --> 00:11:17,820
- [urination resumes]
- 155
- 00:11:17,888 --> 00:11:19,955
- [Mumbling]
- 156
- 00:11:22,559 --> 00:11:27,397
- Uh...Uh... Wh-where am I?
- 157
- 00:11:27,464 --> 00:11:30,716
- You're in the ministry of defence.
- 158
- 00:11:30,785 --> 00:11:33,119
- It's 1997.
- 159
- 00:11:33,187 --> 00:11:35,288
- You've been cryogenically frozen
- 160
- 00:11:35,355 --> 00:11:36,322
- for 30 years.
- 161
- 00:11:36,390 --> 00:11:37,857
- Who are these people?!
- 162
- 00:11:37,925 --> 00:11:39,375
- The shouting is a
- temporary side effect of
- 163
- 00:11:39,443 --> 00:11:41,177
- the unfreezing process.
- 164
- 00:11:41,245 --> 00:11:45,814
- Yes. I'm having difficulty
- controlling the volume of my voice!
- 165
- 00:11:45,882 --> 00:11:47,716
- This is commander gilmour,
- 166
- 00:11:47,784 --> 00:11:49,152
- U.S. strategic command,
- 167
- 00:11:49,586 --> 00:11:51,204
- and general borschevsky,
- 168
- 00:11:51,272 --> 00:11:52,088
- Russian intelligence.
- 169
- 00:11:52,156 --> 00:11:55,608
- Russian intelligence? Are you mad?
- 170
- 00:11:55,676 --> 00:11:57,843
- A lot's happened
- since you were frozen.
- 171
- 00:11:57,911 --> 00:12:00,246
- The cold war's over.
- 172
- 00:12:00,681 --> 00:12:04,017
- Well, finally, those capitalist
- pigs will pay for their crimes, eh?
- 173
- 00:12:04,084 --> 00:12:06,035
- Eh, comrades? Eh?
- 174
- 00:12:06,102 --> 00:12:08,438
- Austin... We won.
- 175
- 00:12:08,505 --> 00:12:11,724
- Oh, groovy. Smashing.
- Yay, capitalism.
- 176
- 00:12:11,792 --> 00:12:13,059
- Hello.
- 177
- 00:12:13,126 --> 00:12:14,360
- Hello!
- 178
- 00:12:14,428 --> 00:12:17,263
- Mr. Powers... the
- president's quite concerned.
- 179
- 00:12:17,331 --> 00:12:19,365
- We've got a madman on
- the loose in Nevada.
- 180
- 00:12:19,433 --> 00:12:21,584
- Dr. Evil.
- 181
- 00:12:21,651 --> 00:12:23,252
- When do I begin?
- 182
- 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:24,287
- Immediately.
- 183
- 00:12:24,354 --> 00:12:26,389
- You'll be working
- with miss Kensington.
- 184
- 00:12:26,457 --> 00:12:28,624
- Mrs. Kensington!
- 185
- 00:12:28,692 --> 00:12:32,695
- Austin, Mrs. Kensington
- has long since retired.
- 186
- 00:12:32,762 --> 00:12:36,865
- Miss Kensington is her daughter.
- 187
- 00:12:36,933 --> 00:12:38,501
- Ah, here she is.
- 188
- 00:12:41,271 --> 00:12:45,674
- Vanessa is one of our top agents.
- 189
- 00:12:50,231 --> 00:12:53,666
- My God, Vanessa's
- got a fabulous body...
- 190
- 00:12:53,734 --> 00:12:56,936
- And I bet she shags like a minx.
- 191
- 00:12:57,921 --> 00:13:01,023
- How do I tell them that because
- of the unfreezing process,
- 192
- 00:13:01,091 --> 00:13:03,192
- I have no inner monologue?
- 193
- 00:13:04,928 --> 00:13:08,898
- I...Hope I didn't say
- that out loud just now.
- 194
- 00:13:08,966 --> 00:13:11,601
- Heh heh heh...
- 195
- 00:13:13,103 --> 00:13:17,206
- Mr. Powers, my job is to
- acclimatize you to the nineties.
- 196
- 00:13:17,274 --> 00:13:19,509
- You know, a lot's
- changed since 1967.
- 197
- 00:13:19,576 --> 00:13:22,778
- No doubt, love, but as long
- as people are still having
- 198
- 00:13:22,846 --> 00:13:26,315
- promiscuous sex with many anonymous
- partners without protection,
- 199
- 00:13:26,383 --> 00:13:30,119
- while at the same time experimenting
- with mind-expanding drugs
- 200
- 00:13:30,187 --> 00:13:32,288
- in a consequence-free environment,
- 201
- 00:13:32,356 --> 00:13:34,457
- I'll be sound as a pound.
- 202
- 00:13:38,479 --> 00:13:41,080
- Danger Powers--
- personal effects.
- 203
- 00:13:41,148 --> 00:13:44,183
- Actually, my name is Austin Powers.
- 204
- 00:13:44,618 --> 00:13:46,252
- It says here "name--
- danger Powers."
- 205
- 00:13:46,319 --> 00:13:48,821
- No, no, no, no, no.
- 206
- 00:13:48,889 --> 00:13:51,157
- Danger's my middle name.
- 207
- 00:13:52,226 --> 00:13:55,128
- Ok. Austin
- danger Powers--
- 208
- 00:13:55,195 --> 00:13:58,297
- one blue crushed velvet suit...
- 209
- 00:13:58,365 --> 00:13:59,298
- Hey, all right.
- 210
- 00:13:59,366 --> 00:14:01,033
- One frilly lace cravat...
- 211
- 00:14:01,101 --> 00:14:02,101
- There it is.
- 212
- 00:14:02,169 --> 00:14:05,504
- One silver medallion
- with "male" symbol...
- 213
- 00:14:05,572 --> 00:14:08,340
- One pair of Italian boots...
- 214
- 00:14:08,408 --> 00:14:09,508
- Buon giorno, boys.
- 215
- 00:14:09,576 --> 00:14:11,177
- One vinyl record album:
- 216
- 00:14:11,245 --> 00:14:13,379
- Burt bacharach plays his hits...
- 217
- 00:14:13,446 --> 00:14:14,781
- Hey, Burt!
- 218
- 00:14:14,848 --> 00:14:20,603
- One Swedish-made...
- Penis enlarger pump...
- 219
- 00:14:21,804 --> 00:14:23,039
- That's not mine.
- 220
- 00:14:23,106 --> 00:14:27,910
- One credit card receipt for
- Swedish-made penis enlarger
- 221
- 00:14:27,977 --> 00:14:29,912
- signed by Austin Powers...
- 222
- 00:14:29,979 --> 00:14:32,381
- I'm telling you,
- baby, that's not mine.
- 223
- 00:14:32,449 --> 00:14:36,585
- One warranty card for
- Swedish-made penis enlarger pump
- 224
- 00:14:36,653 --> 00:14:38,587
- filled out by... Austin Powers...
- 225
- 00:14:38,655 --> 00:14:40,622
- I don't even know what this is.
- 226
- 00:14:40,690 --> 00:14:43,092
- This sort of thing
- ain't my bag, baby.
- 227
- 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:45,627
- One book: Swedish-made
- penis enlarger pumps and me:
- 228
- 00:14:45,695 --> 00:14:49,898
- (This sort of thing
- is my bag, baby)...
- 229
- 00:14:49,966 --> 00:14:52,301
- By...Austin Powers.
- 230
- 00:14:52,369 --> 00:14:55,137
- Uh...Just sign the form.
- 231
- 00:14:55,205 --> 00:14:57,223
- Ok, don't get heavy,
- man, I'll sign it,
- 232
- 00:14:57,291 --> 00:14:59,958
- just to get things
- moving, you know.
- 233
- 00:15:00,026 --> 00:15:01,727
- You're all right, baby.
- 234
- 00:15:01,795 --> 00:15:03,996
- Listen, Mr. Powers.
- 235
- 00:15:04,331 --> 00:15:06,082
- I look forward to working with you,
- 236
- 00:15:06,149 --> 00:15:08,817
- but do me a favor and
- stop calling me "baby."
- 237
- 00:15:08,885 --> 00:15:12,354
- You can address me
- as... Agent Kensington.
- 238
- 00:15:12,422 --> 00:15:13,655
- Oh, come on.
- 239
- 00:15:15,092 --> 00:15:16,992
- All right, then... Vanessa.
- 240
- 00:15:17,060 --> 00:15:18,760
- Was that so hard?
- 241
- 00:15:19,896 --> 00:15:22,364
- Now come along. We have
- to leave immediately.
- 242
- 00:15:22,432 --> 00:15:25,334
- We preserved your private
- jet just as you left it.
- 243
- 00:15:25,402 --> 00:15:27,169
- It's waiting at Heathrow airport.
- 244
- 00:15:27,237 --> 00:15:30,206
- My jumbo jet! Smashing, baby!
- 245
- 00:15:30,273 --> 00:15:31,840
- Oop...Sorry.
- 246
- 00:15:32,742 --> 00:15:34,009
- Mr. Powers?
- 247
- 00:15:37,614 --> 00:15:39,181
- Quickly.
- 248
- 00:15:39,249 --> 00:15:41,517
- Quickly. Come on, lad. Let's go.
- 249
- 00:15:55,749 --> 00:15:59,001
- Dr. Evil: Gentlemen, welcome
- to my underground lair.
- 250
- 00:15:59,069 --> 00:16:02,288
- It's been 30 years, but I'm back.
- 251
- 00:16:02,355 --> 00:16:04,490
- Everything's gone perfectly to plan
- 252
- 00:16:04,558 --> 00:16:06,625
- except for one
- small flaw--
- 253
- 00:16:06,693 --> 00:16:09,962
- due to a technical error
- by my henchman Mustafa,
- 254
- 00:16:10,029 --> 00:16:14,083
- complications arose in
- the unfreezing process.
- 255
- 00:16:14,518 --> 00:16:16,602
- But my design was perfect.
- 256
- 00:16:16,669 --> 00:16:19,671
- Look what you did
- to Mr. Bigglesworth!
- 257
- 00:16:20,690 --> 00:16:24,326
- But, Dr. Evil, we were
- unable to anticipate
- 258
- 00:16:24,394 --> 00:16:27,563
- feline complications to
- the reanimation process--
- 259
- 00:16:27,631 --> 00:16:28,865
- silence!
- 260
- 00:16:28,932 --> 00:16:30,649
- Aah!
- 261
- 00:16:30,717 --> 00:16:34,536
- Aaaaaaaaah!
- 262
- 00:16:36,940 --> 00:16:39,191
- Let this be a reminder to you all
- 263
- 00:16:39,259 --> 00:16:42,161
- that this organization
- will not tolerate failure.
- 264
- 00:16:42,229 --> 00:16:47,383
- [Mustafa moans in agony]
- 265
- 00:16:47,450 --> 00:16:51,170
- Gentlemen, let's
- get down to business.
- 266
- 00:16:51,238 --> 00:16:54,807
- [Mustafa moans in agony]
- 267
- 00:16:54,875 --> 00:16:57,042
- We've got a lot of work to do.
- 268
- 00:16:57,110 --> 00:16:58,778
- Mustafa: Someone help me!
- 269
- 00:16:58,845 --> 00:17:02,881
- I-I'm...Still alive, only
- I'm very... Badly burned.
- 270
- 00:17:04,751 --> 00:17:06,252
- Some of you I know,
- 271
- 00:17:06,319 --> 00:17:08,854
- some of you I'm meeting
- for the first time.
- 272
- 00:17:08,921 --> 00:17:12,224
- Mustafa: Ah-ah! Hello
- out there! Anyone!
- 273
- 00:17:12,659 --> 00:17:13,893
- Could someone call an ambulance?
- 274
- 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:16,295
- I'm in quite... A lot of pain.
- 275
- 00:17:16,362 --> 00:17:18,597
- Ok, you've all been
- gathered here to form--
- 276
- 00:17:18,665 --> 00:17:21,600
- ohhh! Excuse me.
- 277
- 00:17:21,668 --> 00:17:23,302
- Yes. He's down there.
- 278
- 00:17:23,370 --> 00:17:27,105
- No, not dead--
- burned. Badly.
- 279
- 00:17:28,875 --> 00:17:29,941
- Yes.
- 280
- 00:17:31,044 --> 00:17:31,943
- Right.
- 281
- 00:17:32,011 --> 00:17:33,279
- Mustafa: If somebody
- 282
- 00:17:33,346 --> 00:17:35,481
- could open the retrieval
- hatch down here,
- 283
- 00:17:35,549 --> 00:17:36,615
- I could get out.
- 284
- 00:17:36,683 --> 00:17:38,450
- See, I designed
- this device myself--
- 285
- 00:17:38,518 --> 00:17:40,619
- [hatch opens] Oh! Hi. Good.
- 286
- 00:17:40,687 --> 00:17:42,621
- I'm glad you found me. Listen...
- 287
- 00:17:42,689 --> 00:17:43,955
- I'm very badly burned,
- 288
- 00:17:44,023 --> 00:17:45,457
- so if you
- could just--
- 289
- 00:17:45,525 --> 00:17:47,159
- [gunshot]
- 290
- 00:17:47,227 --> 00:17:48,827
- You shot me!
- 291
- 00:17:48,895 --> 00:17:50,296
- Ok, moving
- along--
- 292
- 00:17:50,363 --> 00:17:52,130
- you shot me right in the arm!
- 293
- 00:17:52,199 --> 00:17:53,131
- Why
- did--
- 294
- 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:54,300
- [gunshot]
- 295
- 00:18:03,260 --> 00:18:04,860
- [Retrieval hatch closes]
- 296
- 00:18:04,928 --> 00:18:06,062
- Right.
- 297
- 00:18:06,129 --> 00:18:08,931
- Let me go around the table
- and introduce everyone.
- 298
- 00:18:08,999 --> 00:18:14,070
- Frau Farbissina: Founder of the
- militant wing of the salvation army.
- 299
- 00:18:14,504 --> 00:18:17,607
- Random task: Korean ex-wrestler,
- 300
- 00:18:17,674 --> 00:18:20,676
- Evil handyman extraordinaire.
- 301
- 00:18:20,744 --> 00:18:24,096
- Random task, show them what you do.
- 302
- 00:18:34,190 --> 00:18:36,441
- [Neck cracking]
- 303
- 00:18:37,944 --> 00:18:38,944
- Patty o'brien:
- 304
- 00:18:39,011 --> 00:18:41,113
- Ex-Irish assassin.
- 305
- 00:18:41,180 --> 00:18:43,299
- His trademark-- a
- superstitious man,
- 306
- 00:18:43,367 --> 00:18:46,785
- he leaves a tiny keepsake
- from his good luck bracelet
- 307
- 00:18:46,853 --> 00:18:48,653
- on every victim he kills.
- 308
- 00:18:48,721 --> 00:18:51,173
- Scotland yard would
- love to get their hands
- 309
- 00:18:51,241 --> 00:18:53,643
- on that piece of evidence.
- 310
- 00:18:53,710 --> 00:18:56,695
- [Irish accent] Yeah, they're
- always after me lucky charms.
- 311
- 00:18:56,763 --> 00:18:59,331
- [Tittering]
- 312
- 00:18:59,766 --> 00:19:01,166
- [Chortling]
- 313
- 00:19:01,234 --> 00:19:05,470
- What? Why's everyone always
- laugh when I say that?
- 314
- 00:19:05,538 --> 00:19:08,090
- They are after me lucky charms!
- 315
- 00:19:08,158 --> 00:19:09,875
- What?
- 316
- 00:19:09,943 --> 00:19:13,312
- [German accent] It's a
- television commercial...
- 317
- 00:19:13,380 --> 00:19:15,697
- With this cartoon leprechaun,
- 318
- 00:19:15,765 --> 00:19:18,000
- and all of these childrens
- are trying to chase him--
- 319
- 00:19:18,068 --> 00:19:19,902
- "hey, leprechaun man!
- 320
- 00:19:19,970 --> 00:19:22,622
- Won't you give your lucky charms?"
- 321
- 00:19:22,689 --> 00:19:23,839
- Oh, and there's always
- 322
- 00:19:23,907 --> 00:19:26,008
- these little, tiny
- bits of marshmallows
- 323
- 00:19:26,075 --> 00:19:27,676
- just stuck right in the cereal
- 324
- 00:19:27,744 --> 00:19:29,678
- so that when the kids
- eat them, they think,
- 325
- 00:19:29,746 --> 00:19:31,981
- "oh, this is candy.
- I'm having fun!"
- 326
- 00:19:35,251 --> 00:19:37,669
- Finally, we come to
- my number-two man.
- 327
- 00:19:37,737 --> 00:19:40,005
- His name:
- 328
- 00:19:40,073 --> 00:19:41,307
- Number Two.
- 329
- 00:19:41,374 --> 00:19:44,343
- For 30 years, number
- Two has run virtucon,
- 330
- 00:19:44,411 --> 00:19:47,513
- the legitimate face
- of my evil empire.
- 331
- 00:19:49,316 --> 00:19:52,334
- Dr. Evil, over the last 30 years,
- 332
- 00:19:52,402 --> 00:19:55,103
- virtucon has grown
- by leaps and bounds.
- 333
- 00:19:55,171 --> 00:19:59,975
- About 15 years ago, we
- changed from volatile chemicals
- 334
- 00:20:00,410 --> 00:20:03,045
- to the communications industry.
- 335
- 00:20:03,113 --> 00:20:06,165
- We own cable
- companies in 38 states.
- 336
- 00:20:06,233 --> 00:20:08,834
- We own a steel mill in Cleveland,
- 337
- 00:20:09,302 --> 00:20:12,388
- shipping in Texas, oil
- refineries in Seattle,
- 338
- 00:20:12,455 --> 00:20:13,805
- and a factory in Chicago
- 339
- 00:20:13,873 --> 00:20:16,675
- that makes miniature
- models of factories.
- 340
- 00:20:16,743 --> 00:20:19,011
- Naturally, yes.
- 341
- 00:20:19,078 --> 00:20:20,146
- Gentlemen...
- 342
- 00:20:22,582 --> 00:20:24,150
- I have a plan.
- 343
- 00:20:28,087 --> 00:20:29,321
- [Meow]
- 344
- 00:20:34,093 --> 00:20:36,162
- It's called blackmail.
- 345
- 00:20:36,229 --> 00:20:38,831
- As you know, the
- royal family of britain
- 346
- 00:20:38,899 --> 00:20:41,500
- are the wealthiest
- landowners in the world.
- 347
- 00:20:41,567 --> 00:20:45,604
- Either the royal family pays us
- an exorbitant amount of money,
- 348
- 00:20:45,672 --> 00:20:48,874
- or we make it seem
- that prince Charles
- 349
- 00:20:48,942 --> 00:20:50,659
- has had an affair
- outside of marriage,
- 350
- 00:20:50,726 --> 00:20:54,696
- and therefore...
- Would have to divorce.
- 351
- 00:20:55,765 --> 00:20:57,299
- Ahem.
- 352
- 00:20:57,367 --> 00:20:59,368
- Prince Charles did have an affair,
- 353
- 00:20:59,436 --> 00:21:02,237
- he admitted it, and
- they are now divorced.
- 354
- 00:21:02,305 --> 00:21:03,539
- Right. Ok, people,
- 355
- 00:21:03,606 --> 00:21:06,091
- you have to tell me
- these things, all right?
- 356
- 00:21:06,159 --> 00:21:09,711
- I've been frozen for 30 years, ok?
- 357
- 00:21:09,779 --> 00:21:12,047
- Throw me a frickin' bone here.
- 358
- 00:21:12,114 --> 00:21:16,235
- I'm the boss. Need the info.
- 359
- 00:21:16,303 --> 00:21:18,070
- Ok, no problem.
- 360
- 00:21:18,137 --> 00:21:19,672
- Here's my second plan:
- 361
- 00:21:19,739 --> 00:21:21,039
- Back in the sixties,
- 362
- 00:21:21,107 --> 00:21:23,041
- I developed a
- weather-changing machine,
- 363
- 00:21:23,109 --> 00:21:27,313
- which was, in essence, a sophisticated
- heat beam which we called a "laser."
- 364
- 00:21:27,380 --> 00:21:30,482
- Using these "lasers,"
- we punch a hole
- 365
- 00:21:30,550 --> 00:21:32,884
- in the protective
- layer around the world,
- 366
- 00:21:32,952 --> 00:21:36,054
- which we call the "ozone" layer.
- 367
- 00:21:36,122 --> 00:21:39,808
- Slowly, but surely,
- ultraviolet rays would pour in,
- 368
- 00:21:39,875 --> 00:21:42,561
- increasing the risk of skin cancer.
- 369
- 00:21:42,628 --> 00:21:49,902
- That is unless... the world
- pays us... A hefty ransom.
- 370
- 00:21:51,504 --> 00:21:52,905
- Ahem.
- 371
- 00:21:54,473 --> 00:21:58,376
- That also... already has happened.
- 372
- 00:21:58,444 --> 00:21:59,878
- Shit.
- 373
- 00:22:01,748 --> 00:22:04,149
- Oh, hell, let's just
- do what we always do--
- 374
- 00:22:04,217 --> 00:22:07,786
- hijack some nuclear weapons and
- hold the world hostage. Good.
- 375
- 00:22:07,854 --> 00:22:09,855
- Gentlemen, it's
- come to my attention
- 376
- 00:22:09,923 --> 00:22:12,191
- that a breakaway Russian
- Republic-- kreplachistan--
- 377
- 00:22:12,258 --> 00:22:14,526
- is about to transfer
- a nuclear warhead
- 378
- 00:22:14,594 --> 00:22:16,895
- to the united
- nations in a few days.
- 379
- 00:22:16,963 --> 00:22:18,496
- Here's the plan:
- 380
- 00:22:18,564 --> 00:22:23,869
- We get the warhead, and we
- hold the world ransom for...
- 381
- 00:22:23,937 --> 00:22:27,305
- $1 million!
- 382
- 00:22:27,373 --> 00:22:29,157
- Ahem.
- 383
- 00:22:30,577 --> 00:22:32,561
- Don't you think we should maybe ask
- 384
- 00:22:32,629 --> 00:22:34,563
- for more than a million dollars?
- 385
- 00:22:34,631 --> 00:22:38,601
- A million dollars isn't exactly
- a lot of money these days.
- 386
- 00:22:38,668 --> 00:22:42,220
- Virtucon alone makes
- over $9 billion a year.
- 387
- 00:22:42,288 --> 00:22:43,689
- Really? Mm-hmm.
- 388
- 00:22:43,757 --> 00:22:45,891
- That's a lot more.
- 389
- 00:22:45,958 --> 00:22:47,393
- Ok, then.
- 390
- 00:22:47,460 --> 00:22:51,229
- We hold the world ransom for...
- 391
- 00:22:51,297 --> 00:22:55,567
- $100...Billion!
- 392
- 00:22:59,656 --> 00:23:02,057
- Pretty groovy jumbo jet, eh?
- 393
- 00:23:02,125 --> 00:23:04,226
- When you see this jet a-rockin',
- 394
- 00:23:04,293 --> 00:23:06,495
- don't come a-knockin', baby! Yeah!
- 395
- 00:23:06,563 --> 00:23:09,031
- I'm going to need you to
- sign these release forms.
- 396
- 00:23:09,098 --> 00:23:09,999
- Release forms?
- 397
- 00:23:10,066 --> 00:23:12,017
- Yes. You're not officially working
- 398
- 00:23:12,084 --> 00:23:13,318
- for ministry of defence,
- 399
- 00:23:13,386 --> 00:23:15,687
- and these forms indemnify
- the ministry against any...
- 400
- 00:23:15,755 --> 00:23:18,174
- Mishaps that may occur
- in the line of duty.
- 401
- 00:23:18,241 --> 00:23:20,176
- Mishaps? But isn't that what being
- 402
- 00:23:20,243 --> 00:23:24,463
- an international man
- of mystery's all about?
- 403
- 00:23:24,531 --> 00:23:29,218
- Ok. "Name." Austin...
- Danger Powers.
- 404
- 00:23:29,286 --> 00:23:31,904
- "Sex." Yes, please!
- 405
- 00:23:31,971 --> 00:23:33,906
- How does a hot chick like you
- 406
- 00:23:33,973 --> 00:23:37,159
- end up working in the
- ministry of defence?
- 407
- 00:23:37,226 --> 00:23:39,411
- Oh. Well, I went to Oxford,
- 408
- 00:23:39,479 --> 00:23:41,680
- where I excelled
- in several subjects,
- 409
- 00:23:41,748 --> 00:23:44,516
- but I ended up specializing
- in foreign languages.
- 410
- 00:23:44,584 --> 00:23:46,184
- I really wanted to travel.
- 411
- 00:23:46,252 --> 00:23:48,587
- You know, sort of see the world?
- 412
- 00:23:48,655 --> 00:23:49,438
- That's fascinating, Vanessa.
- 413
- 00:23:49,506 --> 00:23:51,807
- Listen, why don't we
- go in the back and shag?
- 414
- 00:23:51,874 --> 00:23:53,091
- What?
- 415
- 00:23:53,159 --> 00:23:54,343
- I've been frozen for 30 years.
- 416
- 00:23:54,411 --> 00:23:56,812
- I've gotta see if my bits
- and pieces are still working.
- 417
- 00:23:56,879 --> 00:23:58,113
- Excuse me?
- 418
- 00:23:58,181 --> 00:23:59,715
- My wedding tackle.
- 419
- 00:23:59,782 --> 00:24:00,749
- I'm
- sorry--
- 420
- 00:24:00,817 --> 00:24:03,419
- my meat and 2 veg,
- my twig and berries.
- 421
- 00:24:03,486 --> 00:24:05,387
- Hello, lads, you still awake?
- 422
- 00:24:05,455 --> 00:24:06,605
- Mr. Powers, please.
- 423
- 00:24:06,673 --> 00:24:07,539
- I'd appreciate it
- 424
- 00:24:07,606 --> 00:24:09,875
- if you could concentrate
- on our mission
- 425
- 00:24:09,943 --> 00:24:12,577
- and give your libido a rest.
- 426
- 00:24:13,512 --> 00:24:15,747
- Can I, uh...
- 427
- 00:24:15,815 --> 00:24:17,883
- Can I show you something?
- 428
- 00:24:17,951 --> 00:24:22,287
- ♪ If you're feeling
- sad and lonely ♪
- 429
- 00:24:22,355 --> 00:24:25,958
- ♪ there's a service
- I can render ♪
- 430
- 00:24:26,025 --> 00:24:29,928
- ♪ tell the one who
- loves you only ♪
- 431
- 00:24:29,996 --> 00:24:32,164
- ♪ I can be so warm
- and tender... ♪
- 432
- 00:24:32,232 --> 00:24:36,034
- I won't bite...Hard.
- 433
- 00:24:40,573 --> 00:24:41,974
- All right.
- 434
- 00:24:43,542 --> 00:24:47,212
- Let me ask you a
- question, and be honest.
- 435
- 00:24:48,214 --> 00:24:49,181
- Oh!
- 436
- 00:24:49,249 --> 00:24:50,815
- Do I make you horny?
- 437
- 00:24:50,884 --> 00:24:52,084
- Randy?
- 438
- 00:24:52,151 --> 00:24:55,453
- Do I make you horny,
- baby? Yeah, do I?
- 439
- 00:24:55,521 --> 00:24:58,641
- I hope this is part of
- the unfreezing process.
- 440
- 00:24:58,708 --> 00:25:01,059
- Oh, turbulence! Oh, look at that!
- 441
- 00:25:01,127 --> 00:25:03,829
- Oh, turbulence! Oh, I've gone over!
- 442
- 00:25:03,897 --> 00:25:05,497
- Oh, I fell over again!
- 443
- 00:25:05,565 --> 00:25:08,634
- Oh! Mr. Powers!
- 444
- 00:25:08,701 --> 00:25:10,619
- I will never have
- sex with you, ever!
- 445
- 00:25:10,687 --> 00:25:12,454
- If you were the last man on earth
- 446
- 00:25:12,522 --> 00:25:14,456
- and I was the last woman on earth
- 447
- 00:25:14,524 --> 00:25:16,125
- and the future of the human race
- 448
- 00:25:16,192 --> 00:25:18,627
- depended on our having
- sex simply for procreation,
- 449
- 00:25:18,695 --> 00:25:21,196
- I still would not
- have sex with you.
- 450
- 00:25:21,264 --> 00:25:24,182
- What's your point, Vanessa?
- 451
- 00:25:27,871 --> 00:25:32,207
- ♪ Don't be afraid,
- you can call me ♪
- 452
- 00:25:32,275 --> 00:25:35,594
- ♪ maybe it's late,
- but just call me ♪
- 453
- 00:25:35,662 --> 00:25:40,316
- ♪ tell me and I'll be around ♪
- 454
- 00:25:40,383 --> 00:25:41,717
- Yeah!
- 455
- 00:25:41,785 --> 00:25:44,235
- Remember when we froze your semen?
- 456
- 00:25:44,303 --> 00:25:47,005
- You said if it didn't look
- like you were coming back,
- 457
- 00:25:47,072 --> 00:25:49,474
- we should try to make you a son
- 458
- 00:25:49,542 --> 00:25:51,009
- so that a part of you
- could live forever.
- 459
- 00:25:51,077 --> 00:25:52,278
- Oh, sure.
- 460
- 00:25:52,345 --> 00:25:54,029
- Well, after a couple of years,
- 461
- 00:25:54,096 --> 00:25:57,599
- we...Got a little impatient.
- 462
- 00:25:57,667 --> 00:26:02,070
- Dr. Evil, I want
- you to meet your son.
- 463
- 00:26:02,138 --> 00:26:03,289
- My son?
- 464
- 00:26:03,356 --> 00:26:04,706
- Ja.
- 465
- 00:26:04,774 --> 00:26:07,543
- Scott!
- 466
- 00:26:07,610 --> 00:26:10,979
- [Grunge rock playing]
- 467
- 00:26:14,751 --> 00:26:16,501
- Hello, Scott.
- 468
- 00:26:16,569 --> 00:26:18,303
- Hi.
- 469
- 00:26:18,370 --> 00:26:19,938
- I'm your father...
- 470
- 00:26:21,173 --> 00:26:23,608
- Dr. Evil.
- 471
- 00:26:25,545 --> 00:26:27,612
- I haven't seen you my whole life,
- 472
- 00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:29,448
- and now you come back
- 473
- 00:26:29,515 --> 00:26:31,950
- and just expect a relationship?
- 474
- 00:26:32,017 --> 00:26:33,718
- I hate you.
- 475
- 00:26:36,689 --> 00:26:37,989
- What?
- 476
- 00:26:38,057 --> 00:26:40,492
- Could I have a hug?
- 477
- 00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:42,394
- No.
- 478
- 00:26:42,462 --> 00:26:43,812
- Give me a hug. No way.
- 479
- 00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:45,480
- Come here. I'm not
- coming over there.
- 480
- 00:26:45,548 --> 00:26:46,748
- Let's go. Forget it.
- 481
- 00:26:46,816 --> 00:26:48,684
- Pronto. What are you doing?
- 482
- 00:26:48,751 --> 00:26:52,153
- I'm with it. I'm hip.
- 483
- 00:26:52,221 --> 00:26:54,990
- ♪ Dukka-dukka, dukka-dukka,
- dukka-dukka, dukka-dukka ♪
- 484
- 00:26:55,058 --> 00:26:57,659
- ♪ dukka-dukka, dukka-dukka,
- dukka-dukka, dukka-dukka ♪
- 485
- 00:26:57,727 --> 00:27:01,196
- ♪ dukka-dukka, dukka-dukka,
- dukka-dukka, dukka-dukka ♪
- 486
- 00:27:01,263 --> 00:27:02,497
- ♪ haa!
- 487
- 00:27:05,935 --> 00:27:08,503
- Don't look at me like
- I'm frickin' frankenstein.
- 488
- 00:27:08,571 --> 00:27:10,005
- Give your father a hug.
- 489
- 00:27:10,073 --> 00:27:12,207
- You're--hey,
- don't touch me!
- 490
- 00:27:12,274 --> 00:27:14,509
- Hug...Hug...Hug...
- 491
- 00:27:14,577 --> 00:27:17,762
- Get away from me,
- you lazy-eyed psycho!
- 492
- 00:27:33,279 --> 00:27:36,915
- Austin: Viva Las Vegas, baby! Yeah!
- 493
- 00:27:44,490 --> 00:27:48,227
- Whoa. Whoo! Whoo!
- 494
- 00:27:48,294 --> 00:27:49,661
- Welcome to Las Vegas, sir.
- 495
- 00:27:53,065 --> 00:27:54,199
- So...
- 496
- 00:27:54,267 --> 00:27:56,702
- Which side of the bed do you want?
- 497
- 00:27:56,769 --> 00:27:59,371
- You're sleeping on
- the sofa, Mr. Powers.
- 498
- 00:27:59,439 --> 00:28:02,624
- In fact, I'd like to take
- this opportunity to remind you
- 499
- 00:28:02,692 --> 00:28:04,376
- that the only reason
- we're sharing a room
- 500
- 00:28:04,443 --> 00:28:05,543
- is to keep up the context
- 501
- 00:28:05,611 --> 00:28:07,261
- that we're a married
- couple on vacation.
- 502
- 00:28:07,329 --> 00:28:08,697
- Right.
- 503
- 00:28:08,764 --> 00:28:11,766
- Should we shag now,
- or shall we shag later?
- 504
- 00:28:11,834 --> 00:28:12,900
- How do you like to do it?
- 505
- 00:28:12,968 --> 00:28:14,669
- Do you like to wash up first,
- 506
- 00:28:14,737 --> 00:28:17,422
- you know, top and
- tails, whore's bath?
- 507
- 00:28:17,490 --> 00:28:18,924
- Personally, before I'm on the job,
- 508
- 00:28:18,992 --> 00:28:20,225
- I like to give my undercarriage
- 509
- 00:28:20,293 --> 00:28:22,995
- a bit of a
- how's-your-father.
- 510
- 00:28:24,197 --> 00:28:25,397
- I'm just joking, Vanessa.
- 511
- 00:28:25,464 --> 00:28:27,782
- I'm just trying to get a
- rise out of you, that's all.
- 512
- 00:28:27,850 --> 00:28:29,684
- For shits and giggles.
- 513
- 00:28:29,752 --> 00:28:31,653
- Let's unpack.
- 514
- 00:28:37,926 --> 00:28:39,661
- Gor blimey...
- 515
- 00:28:39,728 --> 00:28:41,296
- Nude alert!
- 516
- 00:28:55,595 --> 00:28:57,396
- How did this get in here?
- 517
- 00:28:57,463 --> 00:28:59,598
- Somebody's playing a prank on me.
- 518
- 00:28:59,666 --> 00:29:02,401
- Honestly, it's not mine.
- 519
- 00:29:02,835 --> 00:29:04,602
- Hey, Americans, yeah!
- 520
- 00:29:04,670 --> 00:29:06,405
- Enjoy that wine.
- 521
- 00:29:06,472 --> 00:29:07,672
- Hey, there you are.
- 522
- 00:29:07,740 --> 00:29:09,074
- Hi. Do I know you?
- 523
- 00:29:09,142 --> 00:29:10,943
- No, but that's where
- you are. You're there.
- 524
- 00:29:11,010 --> 00:29:13,111
- Hey, viva Las Vegas, baby.
- 525
- 00:29:13,179 --> 00:29:14,179
- Hey...
- 526
- 00:29:14,247 --> 00:29:15,180
- Ok, Austin...
- 527
- 00:29:15,248 --> 00:29:16,214
- Yes.
- 528
- 00:29:16,282 --> 00:29:17,515
- Austin, there's a
- company in Las Vegas
- 529
- 00:29:17,583 --> 00:29:18,850
- called virtucon
- 530
- 00:29:18,918 --> 00:29:21,353
- which we think may
- be linked to Dr. Evil.
- 531
- 00:29:21,421 --> 00:29:23,188
- Plenty of the virtucon executives
- 532
- 00:29:23,256 --> 00:29:25,090
- are gambling in this casino.
- 533
- 00:29:25,158 --> 00:29:27,025
- Smashing. Let's go.
- 534
- 00:29:27,092 --> 00:29:28,560
- Look. There's one over there.
- 535
- 00:29:28,628 --> 00:29:30,411
- Changing 1,000.
- 536
- 00:29:30,479 --> 00:29:31,913
- Hello.
- 537
- 00:29:31,981 --> 00:29:33,414
- Excuse me.
- 538
- 00:29:36,519 --> 00:29:38,553
- Do you mind if I join you?
- 539
- 00:29:38,621 --> 00:29:40,589
- Not at all.
- 540
- 00:29:41,907 --> 00:29:43,341
- Dealer: The game is
- Blackjack, gentlemen.
- 541
- 00:29:43,408 --> 00:29:45,960
- $10,000 minimum bet.
- 542
- 00:29:46,028 --> 00:29:48,597
- King for you, sir, and a 3 for you.
- 543
- 00:29:51,033 --> 00:29:52,483
- 17?
- 544
- 00:29:59,842 --> 00:30:01,426
- Hit me.
- 545
- 00:30:01,494 --> 00:30:03,962
- You have 17, sir.
- 546
- 00:30:04,030 --> 00:30:06,197
- I like to live dangerously.
- 547
- 00:30:10,086 --> 00:30:12,387
- 4. 21.
- 548
- 00:30:18,828 --> 00:30:19,645
- 5.
- 549
- 00:30:22,398 --> 00:30:25,183
- I'll stay.
- 550
- 00:30:25,250 --> 00:30:27,969
- I suggest you hit, sir.
- 551
- 00:30:30,023 --> 00:30:33,358
- I also like to live dangerously.
- 552
- 00:30:33,426 --> 00:30:35,193
- Dealer: As you wish, sir.
- 553
- 00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:40,515
- 20 beats your 5.
- 554
- 00:30:40,583 --> 00:30:42,350
- I'm sorry, sir.
- 555
- 00:30:42,418 --> 00:30:44,570
- Well, I won't lie to you.
- 556
- 00:30:44,637 --> 00:30:47,489
- Cards are not my bag, baby.
- 557
- 00:30:47,557 --> 00:30:51,309
- Allow myself to introduce...
- 558
- 00:30:51,376 --> 00:30:53,578
- Myself.
- 559
- 00:30:53,645 --> 00:30:56,414
- My name is Richie Cunningham,
- 560
- 00:30:56,481 --> 00:30:59,417
- and this is my wife Oprah.
- 561
- 00:31:01,036 --> 00:31:03,254
- My name is Number Two.
- 562
- 00:31:03,322 --> 00:31:05,390
- This is my Italian
- confidential secretary.
- 563
- 00:31:05,458 --> 00:31:07,092
- Her name is alotta...
- 564
- 00:31:07,159 --> 00:31:09,861
- Alotta Fagina.
- 565
- 00:31:10,646 --> 00:31:11,880
- Come again?
- 566
- 00:31:11,948 --> 00:31:14,165
- Alotta Fagina.
- 567
- 00:31:14,233 --> 00:31:15,383
- Ah, I'm sorry. I'm
- just not getting it.
- 568
- 00:31:15,451 --> 00:31:19,487
- It sounded like you said
- your name was a lot of, uh...
- 569
- 00:31:19,555 --> 00:31:20,956
- Never mind.
- 570
- 00:31:23,759 --> 00:31:26,427
- What exactly do you
- do, Mr. Number Two?
- 571
- 00:31:26,495 --> 00:31:27,929
- That's my business.
- 572
- 00:31:27,997 --> 00:31:29,280
- Oh.
- 573
- 00:31:29,348 --> 00:31:30,115
- Now, if you'll excuse me,
- 574
- 00:31:30,182 --> 00:31:33,719
- I have to go to the
- little boys' room.
- 575
- 00:31:33,786 --> 00:31:35,871
- You keep your eye
- on the Italian bird.
- 576
- 00:31:35,938 --> 00:31:39,091
- We'll rendezvous back
- at the hotel suite.
- 577
- 00:31:55,241 --> 00:31:57,142
- You didn't happen to see...
- 578
- 00:31:57,210 --> 00:31:59,611
- Anything at all.
- 579
- 00:31:59,679 --> 00:32:01,730
- Ah. Sorry.
- 580
- 00:32:14,527 --> 00:32:15,660
- Ow!
- 581
- 00:32:15,728 --> 00:32:16,794
- Howdy.
- 582
- 00:32:20,065 --> 00:32:22,033
- [Coughing]
- 583
- 00:32:22,101 --> 00:32:23,201
- Whoo!
- 584
- 00:32:23,268 --> 00:32:26,104
- That is one crazy getup
- you got there, fella.
- 585
- 00:32:26,171 --> 00:32:27,438
- Oh, thank you.
- 586
- 00:32:27,507 --> 00:32:28,940
- Are you in the show?
- 587
- 00:32:29,008 --> 00:32:31,342
- Uh, no. Actually, I'm English.
- 588
- 00:32:31,410 --> 00:32:34,345
- Whew. I'm sorry.
- 589
- 00:32:34,413 --> 00:32:36,180
- Right.
- 590
- 00:32:45,124 --> 00:32:46,858
- Hey, partner?
- 591
- 00:32:46,925 --> 00:32:48,560
- Have a good one.
- 592
- 00:32:48,628 --> 00:32:49,761
- Ok.
- 593
- 00:33:03,893 --> 00:33:05,994
- Ughhh...
- 594
- 00:33:06,061 --> 00:33:09,964
- Ughhh...
- 595
- 00:33:10,032 --> 00:33:13,167
- Ughhh...
- 596
- 00:33:13,235 --> 00:33:14,335
- Hey, partner, come on,
- 597
- 00:33:14,403 --> 00:33:15,437
- you gotta relax. Don't force it.
- 598
- 00:33:15,504 --> 00:33:17,972
- Gonna blow out your
- o-ring, drop a log.
- 599
- 00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:20,608
- Ughhh...
- 600
- 00:33:22,227 --> 00:33:26,197
- [Whistling]
- 601
- 00:33:31,119 --> 00:33:35,924
- Who does Number Two work for?
- 602
- 00:33:35,991 --> 00:33:40,194
- Who does Number Two work for?
- 603
- 00:33:40,262 --> 00:33:43,064
- That's right, buddy. You
- show that turd who's boss.
- 604
- 00:33:46,101 --> 00:33:47,953
- Hey...Hey, just grab
- ahold of something,
- 605
- 00:33:48,020 --> 00:33:50,689
- bite your lip, and
- give it hell. Come on.
- 606
- 00:33:50,756 --> 00:33:53,157
- We're gonna get through this.
- 607
- 00:33:53,225 --> 00:33:55,460
- [Gurgling]
- 608
- 00:33:57,296 --> 00:33:58,546
- Hey, that sounds pretty nasty.
- 609
- 00:33:58,613 --> 00:34:00,882
- How about a courtesy
- flush over there?
- 610
- 00:34:00,950 --> 00:34:02,383
- [Flushes toilet]
- 611
- 00:34:09,242 --> 00:34:11,409
- Jesus Christ, boy.
- 612
- 00:34:11,477 --> 00:34:13,995
- What did you eat?
- 613
- 00:34:24,206 --> 00:34:25,607
- Gentlemen,
- 614
- 00:34:25,674 --> 00:34:28,009
- the warhead is ours.
- 615
- 00:34:28,076 --> 00:34:32,881
- Patch me through to the united
- nations security secret meeting room.
- 616
- 00:34:32,948 --> 00:34:34,549
- [Beep]
- 617
- 00:34:34,617 --> 00:34:37,168
- Gentlemen, my name is Dr. Evil.
- 618
- 00:34:37,236 --> 00:34:40,972
- In a little while you'll notice
- that the kreplachistani warhead
- 619
- 00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:42,707
- has gone missing.
- 620
- 00:34:42,775 --> 00:34:44,008
- If you want it back,
- 621
- 00:34:44,076 --> 00:34:47,279
- you're going to have to pay me...
- 622
- 00:34:47,346 --> 00:34:50,348
- $1 million!
- 623
- 00:34:50,416 --> 00:34:52,751
- [Laughter]
- 624
- 00:34:52,818 --> 00:34:54,068
- Ahem.
- 625
- 00:34:56,805 --> 00:34:58,506
- Sorry.
- 626
- 00:34:59,692 --> 00:35:02,327
- $100 billion.
- 627
- 00:35:02,395 --> 00:35:03,895
- Oh! Oh!
- 628
- 00:35:03,962 --> 00:35:05,547
- Gentlemen, silence.
- 629
- 00:35:05,614 --> 00:35:08,315
- Now, Mr.
- Evil--
- 630
- 00:35:08,383 --> 00:35:09,517
- Dr. Evil.
- 631
- 00:35:09,585 --> 00:35:11,753
- I didn't spend 6 years
- in evil medical school
- 632
- 00:35:11,820 --> 00:35:14,488
- to be called mister,
- thank you very much.
- 633
- 00:35:14,557 --> 00:35:17,258
- It is the policy of
- the united nations
- 634
- 00:35:17,325 --> 00:35:20,194
- not to negotiate with terrorists.
- 635
- 00:35:20,262 --> 00:35:22,513
- Really?
- 636
- 00:35:22,581 --> 00:35:23,915
- So long.
- 637
- 00:35:28,270 --> 00:35:29,487
- [All talking]
- 638
- 00:35:30,790 --> 00:35:33,424
- Gentlemen, in exactly 5 days
- 639
- 00:35:33,492 --> 00:35:37,862
- we will be $100 billion richer.
- 640
- 00:35:37,930 --> 00:35:40,031
- Heh heh ha ha ha...
- 641
- 00:35:40,099 --> 00:35:42,500
- Ha ha ha ha ha!
- 642
- 00:35:42,568 --> 00:35:45,203
- Ha ha ha ha ha...
- 643
- 00:35:45,270 --> 00:35:47,972
- Ho ho ha ha ha ha hah!
- 644
- 00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:50,341
- Ha ha ha ha ha...
- 645
- 00:35:50,409 --> 00:35:52,476
- Ha ha ha ha ha...
- 646
- 00:35:52,544 --> 00:35:54,412
- Ha ha ha ha ha...
- 647
- 00:35:54,479 --> 00:35:56,748
- Ha ha ha ha ha...
- 648
- 00:35:56,816 --> 00:35:58,917
- Ha ha ha ha ha...
- 649
- 00:35:58,984 --> 00:36:01,219
- Ha ha ha ha ha...
- 650
- 00:36:01,286 --> 00:36:03,188
- Uh, ha ha ha ha...
- 651
- 00:36:03,255 --> 00:36:05,256
- Heh heh heh heh...
- 652
- 00:36:05,324 --> 00:36:06,657
- Uh, ha ha ha...
- 653
- 00:36:06,726 --> 00:36:08,459
- Ooh, Whoo...
- 654
- 00:36:08,527 --> 00:36:09,861
- Uh, heh heh...
- 655
- 00:36:09,929 --> 00:36:13,564
- Uh, heh...
- 656
- 00:36:13,632 --> 00:36:14,983
- Hello, mummy?
- 657
- 00:36:15,050 --> 00:36:17,118
- Oh, hello, Vanessa.
- 658
- 00:36:17,186 --> 00:36:18,920
- And how's Austin?
- 659
- 00:36:18,988 --> 00:36:20,822
- He's asleep.
- 660
- 00:36:20,890 --> 00:36:22,390
- You didn't.
- 661
- 00:36:22,457 --> 00:36:23,557
- No!
- 662
- 00:36:23,625 --> 00:36:25,860
- I made him sleep on the sofa.
- 663
- 00:36:25,928 --> 00:36:28,897
- Vanessa, I'm proud of you.
- 664
- 00:36:28,964 --> 00:36:29,931
- Why?
- 665
- 00:36:29,999 --> 00:36:32,600
- Because you've managed to resist
- 666
- 00:36:32,668 --> 00:36:34,502
- Austin Powers' charms.
- 667
- 00:36:34,569 --> 00:36:36,971
- Oh, well, God knows
- he tried, mummy.
- 668
- 00:36:37,039 --> 00:36:39,573
- I actually had to end up
- being rather firm with him.
- 669
- 00:36:39,641 --> 00:36:42,844
- What about his teeth?
- It's really bizarre.
- 670
- 00:36:42,912 --> 00:36:44,796
- Darling, you have to understand,
- 671
- 00:36:44,863 --> 00:36:47,365
- in britain in the sixties,
- 672
- 00:36:47,433 --> 00:36:49,034
- you could be a sex symbol
- 673
- 00:36:49,101 --> 00:36:50,501
- and still have bad teeth.
- 674
- 00:36:50,569 --> 00:36:51,669
- It didn't matter.
- 675
- 00:36:51,737 --> 00:36:53,204
- Did you ever?
- 676
- 00:36:53,272 --> 00:36:55,907
- Me? No, of course not.
- 677
- 00:36:55,975 --> 00:36:57,842
- I was married to your father.
- 678
- 00:36:57,910 --> 00:36:59,744
- Did you ever want to?
- 679
- 00:36:59,812 --> 00:37:02,547
- Austin is very charming,
- 680
- 00:37:02,614 --> 00:37:04,782
- very debonair.
- 681
- 00:37:04,850 --> 00:37:07,285
- He's handsome, witty,
- 682
- 00:37:07,353 --> 00:37:09,520
- has a knowledge of fine wines.
- 683
- 00:37:09,588 --> 00:37:10,988
- Women want him,
- 684
- 00:37:11,056 --> 00:37:13,091
- and men want to be him.
- 685
- 00:37:13,158 --> 00:37:16,594
- He's every bit an
- international man of mystery.
- 686
- 00:37:16,662 --> 00:37:19,130
- Yeah, well, you didn't
- answer my question, mummy.
- 687
- 00:37:19,198 --> 00:37:21,333
- I know.
- 688
- 00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:23,634
- Let me just
- say this--
- 689
- 00:37:23,702 --> 00:37:26,304
- Austin was the most loyal and...
- 690
- 00:37:26,372 --> 00:37:29,441
- Caring friend I ever had.
- 691
- 00:37:29,508 --> 00:37:32,510
- I will always love him.
- 692
- 00:37:32,578 --> 00:37:34,545
- Oh...Ohh...
- 693
- 00:37:34,613 --> 00:37:35,981
- Do you want to speak to him?
- 694
- 00:37:36,048 --> 00:37:38,432
- No. It's been too long.
- 695
- 00:37:38,500 --> 00:37:39,951
- Ok, well, I'm going
- to have to go, mummy,
- 696
- 00:37:40,019 --> 00:37:41,186
- but I love you.
- 697
- 00:37:41,253 --> 00:37:42,587
- Ciao, darling.
- 698
- 00:37:48,227 --> 00:37:50,795
- A limo's just pulled up.
- 699
- 00:37:50,863 --> 00:37:52,497
- Let me see.
- 700
- 00:37:54,666 --> 00:37:56,284
- That's Dr. Evil's cat.
- 701
- 00:37:56,352 --> 00:37:57,318
- How can you tell?
- 702
- 00:37:57,386 --> 00:37:59,387
- I never forget a pussy...
- 703
- 00:37:59,455 --> 00:38:00,554
- Cat.
- 704
- 00:38:02,958 --> 00:38:06,211
- Oh, no. He's gone away.
- 705
- 00:38:07,929 --> 00:38:09,731
- My God, Vanessa,
- 706
- 00:38:09,798 --> 00:38:12,433
- you are so incredibly beautiful.
- 707
- 00:38:13,352 --> 00:38:14,319
- Oh...
- 708
- 00:38:14,387 --> 00:38:15,653
- That's it...Yes...
- 709
- 00:38:15,721 --> 00:38:16,804
- Yes...Yes...
- 710
- 00:38:16,872 --> 00:38:18,339
- Come on, darling,
- 711
- 00:38:18,407 --> 00:38:21,809
- I'm gonna take you out
- for a night on the town.
- 712
- 00:38:21,877 --> 00:38:23,861
- [Piano plays]
- 713
- 00:38:32,171 --> 00:38:35,306
- Ladies and gentlemen,
- Mr. Burt bacharach.
- 714
- 00:38:35,374 --> 00:38:37,909
- ♪ What the world
- 715
- 00:38:37,976 --> 00:38:39,944
- ♪ needs now
- 716
- 00:38:40,012 --> 00:38:41,712
- ♪ is love
- 717
- 00:38:41,780 --> 00:38:44,249
- ♪ sweet love
- 718
- 00:38:44,316 --> 00:38:47,218
- ♪ no, not just for some
- 719
- 00:38:47,286 --> 00:38:51,156
- ♪ but everyone
- 720
- 00:38:51,223 --> 00:38:53,741
- ♪ what the world
- 721
- 00:38:53,809 --> 00:38:55,910
- ♪ needs now
- 722
- 00:38:55,978 --> 00:38:57,678
- ♪ is love
- 723
- 00:38:57,746 --> 00:39:00,214
- ♪ sweet love
- 724
- 00:39:00,282 --> 00:39:04,585
- ♪ no, not just for some ♪
- 725
- 00:39:04,653 --> 00:39:06,421
- ♪ but for...
- 726
- 00:39:06,488 --> 00:39:12,493
- [Up tempo] ♪ everyone
- 727
- 00:39:38,737 --> 00:39:39,303
- oh, yeah.
- 728
- 00:39:39,371 --> 00:39:40,671
- Oh, go on, Austin, get on with it.
- 729
- 00:39:40,739 --> 00:39:41,672
- I'm gonna do it...
- 730
- 00:39:41,740 --> 00:39:43,006
- Do it a bit.
- 731
- 00:39:43,074 --> 00:39:46,410
- Oh, go on...Yes!
- 732
- 00:39:46,478 --> 00:39:47,411
- Oh...
- 733
- 00:39:47,479 --> 00:39:49,146
- Right hand green!
- 734
- 00:39:49,214 --> 00:39:51,649
- Oh, no, no... Aah!
- 735
- 00:39:53,818 --> 00:39:55,686
- You all right?
- 736
- 00:39:55,754 --> 00:39:57,321
- You all right? Oh, you know what?
- 737
- 00:39:57,389 --> 00:39:59,741
- Wait a tick. I forgot
- something in the lobby.
- 738
- 00:40:01,042 --> 00:40:03,844
- Why don't I take the stairs?
- 739
- 00:40:07,682 --> 00:40:11,785
- Why take the stairs when
- I could take the escalator?
- 740
- 00:40:16,425 --> 00:40:20,694
- Why take the escalator when
- I've got a perfectly good canoe?
- 741
- 00:40:20,762 --> 00:40:23,597
- Ha ha ha!
- 742
- 00:40:23,665 --> 00:40:24,932
- I know
- what--
- 743
- 00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:26,867
- I'll take the elevator.
- 744
- 00:40:31,106 --> 00:40:32,073
- Austin.
- 745
- 00:40:32,141 --> 00:40:33,207
- Yes?
- 746
- 00:40:33,275 --> 00:40:36,110
- Come have some champagne with me.
- 747
- 00:40:36,178 --> 00:40:37,762
- Ok.
- 748
- 00:40:37,829 --> 00:40:40,331
- Oh, I tripped. Oh...
- 749
- 00:40:40,399 --> 00:40:42,833
- You know, I haven't had
- this much fun since college.
- 750
- 00:40:42,901 --> 00:40:44,435
- Well, I'm sorry.
- 751
- 00:40:44,503 --> 00:40:45,670
- Why?
- 752
- 00:40:45,737 --> 00:40:48,923
- I'm sorry that bug up
- your ass had to die.
- 753
- 00:40:52,327 --> 00:40:54,028
- Always wanting to have fun, Austin.
- 754
- 00:40:54,096 --> 00:40:55,596
- That's you in a nutshell.
- 755
- 00:40:55,664 --> 00:40:56,931
- No. This is me in a nutshell.
- 756
- 00:40:56,998 --> 00:40:58,832
- Help! I'm in a nutshell!
- 757
- 00:40:58,900 --> 00:41:01,169
- How did I get into this nutshell?
- 758
- 00:41:01,236 --> 00:41:03,371
- Look at the size of this
- bloody great big nutsh--
- 759
- 00:41:03,439 --> 00:41:06,140
- what sort of shell
- has a nut like this?
- 760
- 00:41:06,208 --> 00:41:08,242
- This is crazy.
- 761
- 00:41:08,310 --> 00:41:10,178
- Yes. Look at you.
- 762
- 00:41:10,245 --> 00:41:11,412
- No.
- 763
- 00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:12,447
- You're smashed.
- 764
- 00:41:12,514 --> 00:41:13,414
- No, I'm not.
- 765
- 00:41:13,482 --> 00:41:14,415
- Yes, you are.
- 766
- 00:41:14,483 --> 00:41:15,616
- No, I'm not. I'm the sensible one.
- 767
- 00:41:15,684 --> 00:41:18,519
- I'm always the designated driver.
- 768
- 00:41:20,889 --> 00:41:21,922
- Oh, kiss me.
- 769
- 00:41:21,990 --> 00:41:23,091
- I can't, darling.
- 770
- 00:41:23,158 --> 00:41:24,058
- Why not?
- 771
- 00:41:24,126 --> 00:41:25,460
- 'Cause you're drunk.
- It's not right.
- 772
- 00:41:25,527 --> 00:41:26,427
- No, I'm not drunk.
- 773
- 00:41:26,495 --> 00:41:27,695
- I'm just beginning to see
- 774
- 00:41:27,762 --> 00:41:29,863
- what my mummy was talking
- about all those years ago.
- 775
- 00:41:29,931 --> 00:41:31,365
- I can't.
- 776
- 00:41:31,433 --> 00:41:33,534
- Ohh...
- 777
- 00:41:33,602 --> 00:41:34,569
- All right, well,
- 778
- 00:41:34,636 --> 00:41:36,237
- tell me all about my
- mummy in the sixties.
- 779
- 00:41:36,305 --> 00:41:37,972
- I'm dying to know
- what she was like.
- 780
- 00:41:38,974 --> 00:41:41,442
- She was very groovy.
- 781
- 00:41:44,279 --> 00:41:46,847
- Your dad loved her very much.
- 782
- 00:41:49,251 --> 00:41:51,352
- If there was one
- other cat in this world
- 783
- 00:41:51,420 --> 00:41:52,520
- that could have loved her
- 784
- 00:41:52,588 --> 00:41:55,055
- and treated her as
- well as your dad,
- 785
- 00:41:55,124 --> 00:41:58,058
- well, it was me.
- 786
- 00:41:58,127 --> 00:42:00,428
- But unfortunately...
- 787
- 00:42:00,496 --> 00:42:02,196
- For yours truly...
- 788
- 00:42:05,434 --> 00:42:07,535
- That train has sailed.
- 789
- 00:42:11,773 --> 00:42:13,508
- Vanessa?
- 790
- 00:42:13,575 --> 00:42:16,244
- Vanessa, hello?
- 791
- 00:42:16,311 --> 00:42:18,179
- Come on, roll over.
- 792
- 00:42:18,247 --> 00:42:19,747
- Sleepytime.
- 793
- 00:42:21,250 --> 00:42:24,902
- [Musical beeping]
- 794
- 00:42:24,969 --> 00:42:26,404
- Ok, Austin needs his hand back.
- 795
- 00:42:26,471 --> 00:42:28,406
- [Musical beeping]
- 796
- 00:42:30,075 --> 00:42:32,760
- [Musical beeping]
- 797
- 00:42:32,827 --> 00:42:34,996
- [Telephone speed dials]
- 798
- 00:42:35,063 --> 00:42:36,314
- Computer: You've got mail!
- 799
- 00:42:37,399 --> 00:42:38,899
- Hello, Austin.
- 800
- 00:42:38,967 --> 00:42:41,619
- This is basil exposition
- from British intelligence.
- 801
- 00:42:41,686 --> 00:42:43,787
- Now, I want you to find out
- 802
- 00:42:43,855 --> 00:42:48,292
- what part virtucon plays in
- something called project vulcan.
- 803
- 00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:51,695
- I'll need you to go to alotta
- fagina's penthouse immediately.
- 804
- 00:43:08,096 --> 00:43:09,397
- Ahh...
- 805
- 00:43:19,775 --> 00:43:21,241
- Hello, hello.
- 806
- 00:43:22,394 --> 00:43:23,995
- [Click click]
- 807
- 00:43:26,564 --> 00:43:28,215
- Yes, yes, ok, great.
- 808
- 00:43:32,153 --> 00:43:34,087
- Project vulcan.
- 809
- 00:43:34,155 --> 00:43:36,223
- Yeah, ok.
- 810
- 00:43:36,291 --> 00:43:37,675
- Cheeky, huh? Yeah.
- 811
- 00:43:37,742 --> 00:43:39,343
- Come on, baby, give it to me.
- 812
- 00:43:39,411 --> 00:43:40,661
- Yes, yes, yes,
- 813
- 00:43:40,729 --> 00:43:42,062
- no, no!
- 814
- 00:43:42,130 --> 00:43:43,514
- [Footsteps]
- 815
- 00:43:49,487 --> 00:43:51,439
- You seem surprised to see me,
- 816
- 00:43:51,506 --> 00:43:53,057
- miss fagina.
- 817
- 00:43:53,125 --> 00:43:57,862
- What do you want,
- Mr...Cunningham, was it?
- 818
- 00:43:57,930 --> 00:44:00,698
- Your boss--
- Number Two--
- 819
- 00:44:00,765 --> 00:44:05,937
- I understand that cat's involved
- in big underground drills.
- 820
- 00:44:06,004 --> 00:44:07,939
- How did you know?
- 821
- 00:44:08,006 --> 00:44:09,756
- I didn't, baby.
- 822
- 00:44:09,824 --> 00:44:12,159
- You just told me.
- 823
- 00:44:12,227 --> 00:44:14,761
- We can talk about business later.
- 824
- 00:44:14,829 --> 00:44:17,531
- Let me slip into
- something more comfortable.
- 825
- 00:44:17,599 --> 00:44:19,700
- Oh, behave.
- 826
- 00:44:19,767 --> 00:44:22,002
- ♪ The look
- 827
- 00:44:22,070 --> 00:44:24,105
- ♪ of love
- 828
- 00:44:24,172 --> 00:44:26,607
- ♪ is in
- 829
- 00:44:26,674 --> 00:44:29,477
- ♪ your eyes
- 830
- 00:44:29,544 --> 00:44:30,478
- ♪ a look
- 831
- 00:44:30,545 --> 00:44:32,045
- good God.
- 832
- 00:44:32,113 --> 00:44:34,098
- ♪ Your smile
- 833
- 00:44:34,165 --> 00:44:37,485
- ♪ can't disguise
- 834
- 00:44:39,254 --> 00:44:41,873
- ♪ the look
- 835
- 00:44:41,940 --> 00:44:45,192
- ♪ of love
- 836
- 00:44:45,260 --> 00:44:48,846
- ♪ it says so much more
- 837
- 00:44:48,914 --> 00:44:53,351
- ♪ than words could ever say ♪
- 838
- 00:44:55,637 --> 00:44:58,739
- ♪ and what my heart has heard ♪
- 839
- 00:44:58,806 --> 00:45:03,427
- ♪ well, it takes
- my breath away ♪
- 840
- 00:45:03,495 --> 00:45:06,897
- ♪ I can hardly
- wait to hold you ♪
- 841
- 00:45:06,965 --> 00:45:09,533
- ♪ feel my arms around you ♪
- 842
- 00:45:09,601 --> 00:45:11,302
- Come in...
- 843
- 00:45:11,370 --> 00:45:14,355
- And I'll show you
- everything you need to know.
- 844
- 00:45:14,422 --> 00:45:16,223
- ♪ You've got that
- look of love ♪
- 845
- 00:45:16,291 --> 00:45:18,509
- ♪ that's in
- 846
- 00:45:18,576 --> 00:45:20,961
- ♪ your face
- 847
- 00:45:22,597 --> 00:45:26,167
- ♪ and what my heart has heard ♪
- 848
- 00:45:26,234 --> 00:45:30,654
- ♪ well, it takes
- my breath away ♪
- 849
- 00:45:30,722 --> 00:45:34,358
- ♪ I can hardly
- wait to hold you ♪
- 850
- 00:45:34,426 --> 00:45:37,661
- ♪ feel my arms around you ♪
- 851
- 00:45:37,729 --> 00:45:40,932
- ♪ you've got the look
- 852
- 00:45:40,999 --> 00:45:43,167
- ♪ of love
- 853
- 00:45:43,235 --> 00:45:45,403
- ♪ it's on your face
- 854
- 00:45:45,470 --> 00:45:47,571
- may I wash you?
- 855
- 00:45:47,639 --> 00:45:50,041
- Oh, groovy, baby.
- 856
- 00:46:00,352 --> 00:46:02,987
- Mm, yes...
- 857
- 00:46:03,055 --> 00:46:07,624
- That feels yummy. Ha ha. Mm...
- 858
- 00:46:12,564 --> 00:46:15,466
- In Japan, men come first
- 859
- 00:46:15,534 --> 00:46:17,768
- and women come second.
- 860
- 00:46:17,836 --> 00:46:20,170
- Or sometimes not at all.
- 861
- 00:46:23,041 --> 00:46:25,743
- Care for some sake?
- 862
- 00:46:25,811 --> 00:46:28,045
- Sake it to me, baby.
- 863
- 00:46:31,450 --> 00:46:32,383
- Yes.
- 864
- 00:46:32,451 --> 00:46:34,218
- Kinky.
- 865
- 00:46:34,285 --> 00:46:35,386
- Klinky.
- 866
- 00:46:42,427 --> 00:46:43,861
- Ooh...
- 867
- 00:46:43,928 --> 00:46:44,928
- Ohh...
- 868
- 00:46:44,996 --> 00:46:47,698
- How do you feel, Mr. Cunningham?
- 869
- 00:46:47,766 --> 00:46:52,202
- Mm, I feel extreme relaxation.
- 870
- 00:46:54,506 --> 00:46:55,606
- Oh...
- 871
- 00:46:57,576 --> 00:47:00,310
- How dare you break wind before me?
- 872
- 00:47:00,379 --> 00:47:03,447
- I'm sorry, baby. I didn't
- know it was your turn.
- 873
- 00:47:07,118 --> 00:47:08,452
- Pardon me for being rude.
- 874
- 00:47:08,520 --> 00:47:10,153
- It was not me. It was my food.
- 875
- 00:47:10,221 --> 00:47:11,622
- It just popped up to say hello,
- 876
- 00:47:11,690 --> 00:47:14,358
- and now it's gone back down below.
- 877
- 00:47:14,426 --> 00:47:16,126
- That's beautiful.
- 878
- 00:47:16,194 --> 00:47:17,261
- Thank you.
- 879
- 00:47:18,630 --> 00:47:20,230
- Let's make love,
- 880
- 00:47:20,298 --> 00:47:24,902
- you silly, hairy, little man.
- 881
- 00:47:24,969 --> 00:47:27,170
- I say! Hello, vicar.
- 882
- 00:47:28,573 --> 00:47:32,510
- Ooh. That's the spot, all right.
- 883
- 00:47:32,577 --> 00:47:36,297
- That's the spot right there.
- Look at that, now. Good God.
- 884
- 00:47:41,019 --> 00:47:44,338
- Austin Powers is getting too close.
- 885
- 00:47:44,406 --> 00:47:45,923
- Any suggestions?
- 886
- 00:47:45,990 --> 00:47:47,507
- Jawohl, herr doctor.
- 887
- 00:47:47,575 --> 00:47:49,710
- I have created the ultimate weapon
- 888
- 00:47:49,778 --> 00:47:52,646
- to defeat Austin Powers.
- 889
- 00:47:53,715 --> 00:47:56,516
- Bring in the fembots!
- 890
- 00:47:56,584 --> 00:47:59,687
- [These boots are made
- for walkin' plays]
- 891
- 00:48:05,259 --> 00:48:06,927
- ♪ You keep sayin'
- 892
- 00:48:06,995 --> 00:48:09,830
- ♪ you've got
- something for me... ♪
- 893
- 00:48:11,616 --> 00:48:13,050
- Go, fembots!
- 894
- 00:48:13,117 --> 00:48:15,803
- ♪ ...but confess...
- 895
- 00:48:15,870 --> 00:48:20,074
- These are the latest word in
- android replicant technology.
- 896
- 00:48:20,141 --> 00:48:22,710
- Lethal, efficient,
- 897
- 00:48:22,777 --> 00:48:24,144
- brutal.
- 898
- 00:48:24,212 --> 00:48:26,980
- No man can resist their charm.
- 899
- 00:48:27,048 --> 00:48:28,449
- Send in the guards!
- 900
- 00:48:28,516 --> 00:48:31,652
- ♪ These boots are
- made for walkin' ♪
- 901
- 00:48:31,720 --> 00:48:33,153
- ♪ and that's just
- what they'll do ♪
- 902
- 00:48:33,221 --> 00:48:35,656
- Frau: Kill these women.
- 903
- 00:48:35,724 --> 00:48:39,426
- ♪ These boots are gonna
- walk all over you ♪
- 904
- 00:48:45,166 --> 00:48:47,267
- ♪ are ya ready, boots?
- 905
- 00:48:47,335 --> 00:48:48,119
- [Meow]
- 906
- 00:48:48,186 --> 00:48:49,653
- ♪ Start walkin'
- 907
- 00:48:59,698 --> 00:49:01,699
- quite impressive.
- 908
- 00:49:01,766 --> 00:49:04,502
- Thank you, herr doctor.
- 909
- 00:49:04,569 --> 00:49:09,239
- I like to see girls
- of that...Caliber.
- 910
- 00:49:13,277 --> 00:49:14,712
- By caliber, of course,
- 911
- 00:49:14,779 --> 00:49:17,314
- I mean both the size
- of their gun barrels
- 912
- 00:49:17,382 --> 00:49:19,383
- and the high quality
- of their character.
- 913
- 00:49:19,450 --> 00:49:20,384
- It's 2 meanings.
- 914
- 00:49:20,451 --> 00:49:23,888
- Caliber--it's
- a homonym.
- 915
- 00:49:26,858 --> 00:49:27,925
- Forget it.
- 916
- 00:49:31,546 --> 00:49:32,946
- At ease, boys.
- 917
- 00:49:34,849 --> 00:49:38,752
- Austin, I want to
- show you something.
- 918
- 00:49:38,820 --> 00:49:40,721
- We're going to
- outfit you with this.
- 919
- 00:49:40,788 --> 00:49:41,872
- It looks like a watch,
- 920
- 00:49:41,939 --> 00:49:45,775
- but in fact it's a
- geosynchronous positioning device.
- 921
- 00:49:45,843 --> 00:49:47,211
- Very shagadelic.
- 922
- 00:49:47,278 --> 00:49:50,080
- And then there's this.
- 923
- 00:49:50,148 --> 00:49:51,448
- Ok, let me guess.
- 924
- 00:49:51,516 --> 00:49:52,850
- The floss is garrote wire,
- 925
- 00:49:52,917 --> 00:49:56,353
- the toothpaste is
- plastic explosives,
- 926
- 00:49:56,421 --> 00:49:59,590
- and the toothbrush is
- the detonation device.
- 927
- 00:49:59,657 --> 00:50:00,991
- No, actually.
- 928
- 00:50:01,058 --> 00:50:02,993
- Well, since you've been frozen,
- 929
- 00:50:03,060 --> 00:50:04,528
- there have been fabulous advances
- 930
- 00:50:04,596 --> 00:50:05,929
- in the field of dentistry.
- 931
- 00:50:05,997 --> 00:50:08,231
- W-what do you mean?
- 932
- 00:50:08,299 --> 00:50:09,533
- Nothing.
- 933
- 00:50:09,601 --> 00:50:11,618
- Oh, look, here's basil.
- 934
- 00:50:11,686 --> 00:50:12,586
- Hello, exposition.
- 935
- 00:50:12,654 --> 00:50:13,620
- Austin.
- 936
- 00:50:13,688 --> 00:50:15,956
- Let me bring you up to speed.
- 937
- 00:50:16,024 --> 00:50:18,859
- Dr. Evil has hijacked
- a nuclear warhead
- 938
- 00:50:18,927 --> 00:50:20,161
- from kreplachistan.
- 939
- 00:50:20,228 --> 00:50:22,229
- Only 2 things scare me,
- 940
- 00:50:22,297 --> 00:50:24,531
- and one is nuclear war.
- 941
- 00:50:24,599 --> 00:50:25,800
- What's the other?
- 942
- 00:50:25,867 --> 00:50:26,834
- Excuse me?
- 943
- 00:50:26,902 --> 00:50:28,535
- What's the other
- thing that scares you?
- 944
- 00:50:29,504 --> 00:50:30,871
- Carnies.
- 945
- 00:50:30,939 --> 00:50:31,906
- What?
- 946
- 00:50:31,973 --> 00:50:33,407
- Circus folk.
- 947
- 00:50:33,474 --> 00:50:34,741
- Nomads, you know.
- 948
- 00:50:34,810 --> 00:50:36,576
- Smell like cabbage.
- 949
- 00:50:36,644 --> 00:50:38,378
- Small hands.
- 950
- 00:50:38,446 --> 00:50:40,981
- Oh...Indeed.
- 951
- 00:50:41,049 --> 00:50:43,651
- Perhaps these photographs are
- the last piece of the puzzle.
- 952
- 00:50:43,718 --> 00:50:44,718
- Aha.
- 953
- 00:50:44,786 --> 00:50:47,070
- I've uncovered the
- details of project vulcan.
- 954
- 00:50:47,138 --> 00:50:50,106
- Oh, good God. An
- underground missile?
- 955
- 00:50:50,174 --> 00:50:51,825
- Austin, where did you find these?
- 956
- 00:50:51,893 --> 00:50:54,027
- Austin did some
- reconnaissance work last night
- 957
- 00:50:54,095 --> 00:50:56,597
- at Alotta Fagina's penthouse.
- 958
- 00:50:56,665 --> 00:50:57,665
- Oh.
- 959
- 00:50:57,732 --> 00:51:01,101
- Our next move is to
- infiltrate virtucon.
- 960
- 00:51:01,169 --> 00:51:03,437
- Any ideas?
- 961
- 00:51:03,505 --> 00:51:04,638
- Oh, yes.
- 962
- 00:51:04,706 --> 00:51:07,808
- Virtucon runs a tour of
- its facility every hour.
- 963
- 00:51:07,875 --> 00:51:10,777
- I thought perhaps we could
- disguise ourselves as tourists
- 964
- 00:51:10,845 --> 00:51:13,380
- and do some onsite reconnaissance.
- 965
- 00:51:13,448 --> 00:51:15,115
- Top drawer, Kensington.
- 966
- 00:51:15,183 --> 00:51:18,952
- Oh, uh, Austin, I'd like
- you to meet somebody.
- 967
- 00:51:19,020 --> 00:51:20,521
- This is
- my mother--
- 968
- 00:51:20,589 --> 00:51:21,988
- Mrs. exposition.
- 969
- 00:51:22,056 --> 00:51:23,957
- How do you do?
- 970
- 00:51:24,742 --> 00:51:26,109
- Vanessa: Austin!
- 971
- 00:51:27,178 --> 00:51:28,879
- My God, man, what have you done?
- 972
- 00:51:28,947 --> 00:51:32,115
- That's not your mother.
- It's a man, baby!
- 973
- 00:51:32,183 --> 00:51:33,951
- Get off! Get off! Come on!
- 974
- 00:51:34,018 --> 00:51:36,587
- Why won't this wig come off?!
- 975
- 00:51:36,654 --> 00:51:38,088
- Uhh! Uhh!
- 976
- 00:51:38,155 --> 00:51:39,089
- Austin!
- 977
- 00:51:39,156 --> 00:51:40,557
- Yeah, hold on. Hold on one second.
- 978
- 00:51:40,625 --> 00:51:42,425
- No, no. Let go of my mother!
- 979
- 00:51:42,494 --> 00:51:44,294
- Oh...Oh, mother.
- 980
- 00:51:44,362 --> 00:51:45,562
- Mother, are you all right?
- 981
- 00:51:45,630 --> 00:51:47,798
- Austin, have you gone mad?
- 982
- 00:51:47,866 --> 00:51:49,032
- No.
- 983
- 00:51:49,100 --> 00:51:51,568
- You have a lot of explaining to do.
- 984
- 00:51:51,636 --> 00:51:54,371
- I'm sorry, basil. I
- thought she was a man.
- 985
- 00:51:54,438 --> 00:51:57,140
- Damn it, man, you're
- talking about my mother!
- 986
- 00:51:57,208 --> 00:51:59,009
- Well, you have to admit,
- she is rather mannish.
- 987
- 00:51:59,076 --> 00:52:00,010
- Austin!
- 988
- 00:52:00,077 --> 00:52:01,044
- Well, no offense,
- 989
- 00:52:01,112 --> 00:52:02,412
- but if that is a woman,
- 990
- 00:52:02,480 --> 00:52:05,682
- it does look like she was
- beaten with an ugly stick.
- 991
- 00:52:05,750 --> 00:52:07,784
- Really, Austin.
- 992
- 00:52:12,590 --> 00:52:17,961
- Ok, give in to the beauty of
- your feelings and say the words.
- 993
- 00:52:18,029 --> 00:52:19,629
- Come on.
- 994
- 00:52:19,697 --> 00:52:22,616
- I love you, dad.
- 995
- 00:52:22,683 --> 00:52:26,320
- I love you, too, son.
- 996
- 00:52:30,574 --> 00:52:32,209
- Ok, group,
- 997
- 00:52:32,276 --> 00:52:34,327
- we have some newcomers
- here today with us.
- 998
- 00:52:34,395 --> 00:52:39,366
- Say hello to Scott and
- his father Mr. avil?
- 999
- 00:52:39,433 --> 00:52:41,902
- Evil, actually.
- 1000
- 00:52:43,972 --> 00:52:47,107
- Dr. Evil.
- 1001
- 00:52:47,175 --> 00:52:50,777
- All: Hello, Dr. Evil. Hello, Scott.
- 1002
- 00:52:50,845 --> 00:52:52,479
- Hello, everybody.
- 1003
- 00:52:52,546 --> 00:52:53,947
- So, Scott, why don't
- we start with you?
- 1004
- 00:52:54,015 --> 00:52:57,384
- What brings you here with us today?
- 1005
- 00:52:57,451 --> 00:52:59,303
- Well, I just really met my dad
- 1006
- 00:52:59,371 --> 00:53:00,737
- for the first time 5 days ago.
- 1007
- 00:53:00,805 --> 00:53:03,607
- I was partially
- frozen his whole life.
- 1008
- 00:53:03,674 --> 00:53:05,659
- That is beautiful
- 1009
- 00:53:05,726 --> 00:53:07,928
- that you can admit to that.
- 1010
- 00:53:07,996 --> 00:53:08,812
- He comes back,
- 1011
- 00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:11,115
- and now he wants me to take
- over the family business.
- 1012
- 00:53:11,182 --> 00:53:14,684
- But, Scott, who's going to
- take over the world when I die?
- 1013
- 00:53:14,752 --> 00:53:16,553
- Listen to the
- words he used--
- 1014
- 00:53:16,621 --> 00:53:19,406
- "who's going to take over
- the world when I die?"
- 1015
- 00:53:19,474 --> 00:53:23,710
- It feels like that to some
- of us sometimes, doesn't it?
- 1016
- 00:53:23,778 --> 00:53:26,813
- So what do you want to do, Scott?
- 1017
- 00:53:26,881 --> 00:53:27,514
- I don't know.
- 1018
- 00:53:27,581 --> 00:53:30,150
- I was thinking I like animals.
- 1019
- 00:53:30,218 --> 00:53:31,185
- Maybe I'd be a vet.
- 1020
- 00:53:31,252 --> 00:53:32,820
- An evil vet?
- 1021
- 00:53:32,887 --> 00:53:35,588
- No. Maybe, like,
- work in a petting zoo.
- 1022
- 00:53:35,656 --> 00:53:37,524
- An evil petting zoo?
- 1023
- 00:53:37,591 --> 00:53:39,226
- You always do that!
- 1024
- 00:53:41,696 --> 00:53:44,064
- I just think, like, he hates me.
- 1025
- 00:53:44,132 --> 00:53:46,433
- I really think he wants to kill me.
- 1026
- 00:53:46,500 --> 00:53:49,553
- Now, Scott, we don't want
- to kill each other in here.
- 1027
- 00:53:49,620 --> 00:53:51,521
- We might say that we do sometimes,
- 1028
- 00:53:51,589 --> 00:53:54,023
- but we really don't.
- 1029
- 00:53:54,092 --> 00:53:55,758
- Actually, the boy's quite astute.
- 1030
- 00:53:55,826 --> 00:53:57,861
- I really am trying to kill him,
- 1031
- 00:53:57,929 --> 00:54:00,164
- but so far, unsuccessfully.
- 1032
- 00:54:00,231 --> 00:54:02,899
- He's quite wily like his old man.
- 1033
- 00:54:04,669 --> 00:54:07,571
- This is what I'm talking about.
- 1034
- 00:54:07,638 --> 00:54:10,574
- Ok, well, we've
- heard from you, Scott.
- 1035
- 00:54:10,641 --> 00:54:14,344
- Now, uh, you tell us
- something about yourself.
- 1036
- 00:54:14,412 --> 00:54:17,531
- The details of my life
- are quite inconsequential.
- 1037
- 00:54:17,599 --> 00:54:19,082
- Oh, no, please, please.
- 1038
- 00:54:19,150 --> 00:54:20,917
- Let's hear about your childhood.
- 1039
- 00:54:20,985 --> 00:54:22,819
- Yeah. Come on.
- 1040
- 00:54:25,373 --> 00:54:26,773
- Very well.
- 1041
- 00:54:26,841 --> 00:54:28,808
- Where do I begin?
- 1042
- 00:54:28,876 --> 00:54:31,978
- My father was a
- relentlessly self-improving
- 1043
- 00:54:32,046 --> 00:54:33,780
- boulangerie owner from Belgium
- 1044
- 00:54:33,848 --> 00:54:37,117
- with low-grade narcolepsy
- and a penchant for buggery.
- 1045
- 00:54:37,285 --> 00:54:42,990
- My mother was a 15-year-old French
- prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.
- 1046
- 00:54:43,057 --> 00:54:45,859
- My father would
- womanize, he would drink.
- 1047
- 00:54:45,926 --> 00:54:47,894
- He would make outrageous claims
- 1048
- 00:54:47,962 --> 00:54:50,364
- like he invented the question mark.
- 1049
- 00:54:50,431 --> 00:54:54,334
- Sometimes he would accuse
- chestnuts of being lazy,
- 1050
- 00:54:54,402 --> 00:55:01,174
- the sort of general malaise that only
- the genius possess and the insane lament.
- 1051
- 00:55:01,242 --> 00:55:03,377
- My childhood was typical.
- 1052
- 00:55:03,444 --> 00:55:06,880
- Summers in rangoon, luge lessons.
- 1053
- 00:55:06,947 --> 00:55:10,083
- In the spring, we'd
- make meat helmets.
- 1054
- 00:55:10,151 --> 00:55:15,589
- When I was insolent, I was placed in
- a burlap bag and beaten with reeds.
- 1055
- 00:55:15,657 --> 00:55:17,557
- Pretty standard, really.
- 1056
- 00:55:17,625 --> 00:55:20,244
- At the age of 12, I
- received my first scribe.
- 1057
- 00:55:20,311 --> 00:55:22,079
- At the age of 14,
- 1058
- 00:55:22,147 --> 00:55:25,982
- a zoroastrian named vilma
- ritualistically shaved my testicles.
- 1059
- 00:55:26,051 --> 00:55:28,985
- There really is nothing
- like a shorn scrotum.
- 1060
- 00:55:29,054 --> 00:55:32,322
- It's breathtaking.
- I suggest you try it.
- 1061
- 00:55:32,390 --> 00:55:35,092
- You know, we have to stop.
- 1062
- 00:55:35,160 --> 00:55:38,044
- Vanessa: Austin, can
- I have a word with you?
- 1063
- 00:55:38,112 --> 00:55:40,046
- Of course you may, love.
- 1064
- 00:55:41,782 --> 00:55:44,184
- Look, I know I'm being neurotic,
- 1065
- 00:55:44,252 --> 00:55:48,755
- but I can't shake off this suspicious
- feeling about that Italian secretary.
- 1066
- 00:55:48,823 --> 00:55:50,090
- You know, miss fagina.
- 1067
- 00:55:50,158 --> 00:55:51,992
- I don't want to sound paranoid,
- 1068
- 00:55:52,060 --> 00:55:54,995
- but I've had some bad
- relationships in the past,
- 1069
- 00:55:55,063 --> 00:55:57,564
- and I have been
- known to be jealous.
- 1070
- 00:55:57,631 --> 00:55:58,531
- I'm sorry.
- 1071
- 00:55:58,599 --> 00:56:01,034
- No. Don't be sorry, baby.
- 1072
- 00:56:01,102 --> 00:56:02,819
- You're right to be suspicious.
- 1073
- 00:56:02,886 --> 00:56:04,621
- I shagged her.
- 1074
- 00:56:04,689 --> 00:56:05,822
- What?
- 1075
- 00:56:05,889 --> 00:56:08,725
- I shagged her rotten, baby, yeah!
- 1076
- 00:56:08,793 --> 00:56:12,362
- I don't believe you,
- Austin. She was repellent.
- 1077
- 00:56:12,430 --> 00:56:14,981
- Saucer of milk, table 2. Meowr.
- 1078
- 00:56:15,049 --> 00:56:16,483
- But did you use protection?
- 1079
- 00:56:16,551 --> 00:56:19,386
- Of course. I had my 9mm automatic.
- 1080
- 00:56:19,454 --> 00:56:22,922
- You know I meant
- did you use a condom?
- 1081
- 00:56:22,990 --> 00:56:26,676
- Ha ha ha. Only sailors
- use condoms, baby.
- 1082
- 00:56:26,744 --> 00:56:27,894
- Not in the nineties, Austin.
- 1083
- 00:56:27,962 --> 00:56:29,679
- Well, they should,
- those filthy beggars.
- 1084
- 00:56:29,747 --> 00:56:31,081
- They go from port to port.
- 1085
- 00:56:31,149 --> 00:56:34,318
- Vanessa, don't have a thrombo.
- 1086
- 00:56:34,385 --> 00:56:36,786
- Alotta meant nothing to me.
- 1087
- 00:56:36,854 --> 00:56:38,255
- Well, it means something to me.
- 1088
- 00:56:38,323 --> 00:56:40,790
- Austin, if you want us
- to have a relationship,
- 1089
- 00:56:40,858 --> 00:56:43,594
- you have to get it into your
- head that times have changed.
- 1090
- 00:56:43,661 --> 00:56:46,363
- You can't just go off
- shagging anybody anymore.
- 1091
- 00:56:46,431 --> 00:56:49,682
- And if you could, I wouldn't
- because I'm not like that.
- 1092
- 00:56:49,750 --> 00:56:51,335
- Vanessa...
- 1093
- 00:56:53,120 --> 00:56:55,255
- You're everything to me.
- 1094
- 00:56:55,323 --> 00:56:57,790
- You just don't get it, do you?
- 1095
- 00:56:59,560 --> 00:57:01,027
- Good night, Austin.
- 1096
- 00:57:01,095 --> 00:57:03,129
- Welcome to the nineties.
- 1097
- 00:57:03,197 --> 00:57:05,766
- You're going to be very lonely.
- 1098
- 00:57:27,672 --> 00:57:29,540
- Hey. Check this guy out.
- 1099
- 00:57:31,176 --> 00:57:32,609
- Peace. Peace.
- 1100
- 00:57:32,677 --> 00:57:34,545
- Yeah.
- 1101
- 00:57:39,250 --> 00:57:40,400
- Jimi Hendrix...
- 1102
- 00:57:40,468 --> 00:57:42,536
- Deceased...
- 1103
- 00:57:42,603 --> 00:57:43,553
- Drugs.
- 1104
- 00:57:44,622 --> 00:57:45,722
- Janis joplin.
- 1105
- 00:57:46,990 --> 00:57:48,925
- Deceased, alcohol.
- 1106
- 00:57:48,992 --> 00:57:50,210
- Mama cass.
- 1107
- 00:57:50,278 --> 00:57:53,880
- Deceased, ham sandwich.
- 1108
- 00:58:03,691 --> 00:58:07,126
- [Static]
- 1109
- 00:58:11,866 --> 00:58:18,037
- [Squeaks]
- 1110
- 00:58:18,105 --> 00:58:18,922
- [Pooshh]
- 1111
- 00:58:20,675 --> 00:58:22,075
- Astronaut: Oh, gee, that's great.
- 1112
- 00:58:22,142 --> 00:58:23,577
- Is the lighting halfway decent?
- 1113
- 00:58:23,644 --> 00:58:25,479
- Announcer: Yes, indeed.
- They got the flag up now.
- 1114
- 00:58:25,546 --> 00:58:27,296
- You can see the stars and stripes.
- 1115
- 00:58:27,365 --> 00:58:29,031
- Astronaut: Beautiful.
- Just beautiful.
- 1116
- 00:58:29,099 --> 00:58:32,702
- [Crowd chanting]
- 1117
- 00:58:34,304 --> 00:58:35,972
- Vanessa: Good morning, Austin.
- 1118
- 00:58:36,039 --> 00:58:37,974
- You know, I sometimes forget
- 1119
- 00:58:38,041 --> 00:58:41,644
- you've missed out
- on the last 30 years.
- 1120
- 00:58:41,712 --> 00:58:43,613
- Fall of the Berlin wall,
- 1121
- 00:58:43,681 --> 00:58:45,615
- the first female
- British prime minister,
- 1122
- 00:58:45,683 --> 00:58:47,617
- end of apartheid.
- 1123
- 00:58:47,685 --> 00:58:50,620
- Yeah, and I can't
- believe liberace was gay.
- 1124
- 00:58:50,688 --> 00:58:52,655
- I mean, women loved him.
- 1125
- 00:58:52,723 --> 00:58:55,592
- I didn't see that one coming, no.
- 1126
- 00:58:55,659 --> 00:58:57,628
- Guide: The tour is about to begin,
- 1127
- 00:58:57,695 --> 00:59:00,179
- so if you'll please
- take your seats.
- 1128
- 00:59:00,247 --> 00:59:03,049
- Welcome to virtucon,
- company of the future.
- 1129
- 00:59:03,117 --> 00:59:05,218
- Virtucon is a leading
- manufacturer of many items
- 1130
- 00:59:05,286 --> 00:59:07,754
- you can find right
- in your very own home.
- 1131
- 00:59:07,821 --> 00:59:09,672
- Do you think she's
- prettier than me?
- 1132
- 00:59:09,740 --> 00:59:10,640
- Who?
- 1133
- 00:59:10,708 --> 00:59:12,141
- You know who.
- 1134
- 00:59:12,209 --> 00:59:13,643
- Oh, the Italian bird.
- 1135
- 00:59:13,711 --> 00:59:16,145
- No, baby. She's rancid.
- 1136
- 00:59:16,213 --> 00:59:18,648
- I think you're shagadelic, baby.
- 1137
- 00:59:18,716 --> 00:59:21,017
- You're switched
- on. You're smashing.
- 1138
- 00:59:21,084 --> 00:59:25,488
- We make steel, petroleum
- products, and volatile chemicals.
- 1139
- 00:59:25,556 --> 00:59:28,692
- But don't worry about
- the Italian bird, ok?
- 1140
- 00:59:28,760 --> 00:59:30,694
- She's the village bicycle.
- 1141
- 00:59:30,762 --> 00:59:33,863
- Everyone's had a ride.
- 1142
- 00:59:33,931 --> 00:59:38,668
- On your right, you'll notice a
- door leading to a restricted area.
- 1143
- 00:59:38,736 --> 00:59:40,703
- Only authorized
- personnel are allowed...
- 1144
- 00:59:40,771 --> 00:59:41,971
- Austin: I'll take him.
- 1145
- 00:59:42,039 --> 00:59:43,740
- You take her.
- 1146
- 00:59:55,536 --> 00:59:56,603
- All right.
- 1147
- 00:59:58,606 --> 01:00:00,139
- Let's go.
- 1148
- 01:00:00,207 --> 01:00:03,276
- It's Bolton. We've got a problem.
- 1149
- 01:00:03,344 --> 01:00:04,578
- [Alarm buzzes]
- 1150
- 01:00:04,645 --> 01:00:06,680
- P.A.: Intruders in the complex.
- Intruders in the complex.
- 1151
- 01:00:06,747 --> 01:00:07,947
- Watch out.
- 1152
- 01:00:09,684 --> 01:00:11,451
- Guard: Halt. This way.
- 1153
- 01:00:11,518 --> 01:00:13,386
- Judo chop!
- 1154
- 01:00:15,957 --> 01:00:17,791
- They're coming!
- 1155
- 01:00:17,858 --> 01:00:19,793
- Hang on. I'm going to floor it.
- 1156
- 01:00:19,860 --> 01:00:21,360
- Watch out. Move!
- 1157
- 01:00:21,428 --> 01:00:23,229
- Move! Move!
- 1158
- 01:00:25,550 --> 01:00:26,549
- Careful, Austin.
- 1159
- 01:00:26,617 --> 01:00:31,304
- Nooooo!
- 1160
- 01:00:31,371 --> 01:00:32,305
- Watch out!
- 1161
- 01:00:32,372 --> 01:00:33,306
- Watch out!
- 1162
- 01:00:33,373 --> 01:00:35,775
- Aaaah!
- 1163
- 01:00:35,843 --> 01:00:37,026
- Watch out!
- 1164
- 01:00:37,094 --> 01:00:40,747
- Aaaaah!
- 1165
- 01:00:40,815 --> 01:00:42,682
- Eew. Ohh.
- 1166
- 01:00:42,750 --> 01:00:44,851
- Let's go. Come on, let's go.
- 1167
- 01:00:47,354 --> 01:00:49,623
- Oh! Thank goodness
- we made it, Austin.
- 1168
- 01:00:49,690 --> 01:00:51,891
- All right. Stay very cool, baby.
- 1169
- 01:00:51,959 --> 01:00:53,093
- Ok.
- 1170
- 01:01:16,951 --> 01:01:21,955
- Mr. Powers, welcome
- to my underground lair.
- 1171
- 01:01:22,023 --> 01:01:23,923
- You're just in time.
- 1172
- 01:01:23,991 --> 01:01:26,292
- Enjoy the show.
- 1173
- 01:01:32,182 --> 01:01:36,202
- Gentlemen, I give you the vulcan...
- 1174
- 01:01:36,270 --> 01:01:40,273
- The world's most powerful
- subterranean drill.
- 1175
- 01:01:40,340 --> 01:01:42,058
- Does that make you horny?
- 1176
- 01:01:42,126 --> 01:01:43,527
- Not now, Austin.
- 1177
- 01:01:43,594 --> 01:01:46,530
- So powerful it can
- penetrate the earth's crust,
- 1178
- 01:01:46,597 --> 01:01:48,532
- delivering a 50-kiloton
- nuclear warhead
- 1179
- 01:01:48,599 --> 01:01:51,568
- deep into the liquid
- hot core of the planet.
- 1180
- 01:01:51,636 --> 01:01:56,773
- Upon detonation, every
- volcano on earth will erupt.
- 1181
- 01:01:56,841 --> 01:01:58,575
- [People gasp]
- 1182
- 01:01:58,643 --> 01:01:59,459
- [All talking]
- 1183
- 01:01:59,527 --> 01:02:01,961
- It seems we have no choice
- 1184
- 01:02:02,029 --> 01:02:03,797
- but to pay your ransom.
- 1185
- 01:02:03,864 --> 01:02:06,465
- You have my instructions. Bye-bye.
- 1186
- 01:02:09,336 --> 01:02:10,520
- Check it out, butt-head.
- 1187
- 01:02:10,588 --> 01:02:13,590
- This chick has 3
- boobs. Heh heh heh.
- 1188
- 01:02:13,657 --> 01:02:16,125
- How many butts does she have?
- 1189
- 01:02:18,045 --> 01:02:22,915
- Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
- 1190
- 01:02:22,983 --> 01:02:26,419
- Do you like your quasi-futuristic
- clothes, Mr. Powers?
- 1191
- 01:02:26,487 --> 01:02:29,088
- I designed them myself.
- 1192
- 01:02:41,835 --> 01:02:42,935
- Oww!
- 1193
- 01:02:44,104 --> 01:02:47,006
- Scott! Scott, my boy, how are you?
- 1194
- 01:02:47,074 --> 01:02:48,575
- How was your day?
- 1195
- 01:02:48,642 --> 01:02:49,842
- Well, my friend sweet Jay
- 1196
- 01:02:49,910 --> 01:02:51,544
- took me to that video
- arcade in town, right?
- 1197
- 01:02:51,612 --> 01:02:53,045
- And they don't speak English there,
- 1198
- 01:02:53,113 --> 01:02:55,515
- so Jay got into a fight, and
- he's all, "hey, quit hassling me
- 1199
- 01:02:55,583 --> 01:02:57,483
- 'cause I don't speak
- French" or whatever.
- 1200
- 01:02:57,551 --> 01:02:59,285
- And then the guy says
- something in Paris talk,
- 1201
- 01:02:59,353 --> 01:03:00,920
- and I'm like, "just back off."
- 1202
- 01:03:00,987 --> 01:03:02,271
- And they're all, "get out."
- 1203
- 01:03:02,340 --> 01:03:03,807
- And we're like, "make me."
- 1204
- 01:03:03,874 --> 01:03:05,442
- It was cool.
- 1205
- 01:03:06,444 --> 01:03:08,144
- Fascinating.
- 1206
- 01:03:08,212 --> 01:03:09,946
- What are your plans
- for this evening?
- 1207
- 01:03:10,013 --> 01:03:11,681
- I thought I'd stay in.
- 1208
- 01:03:11,749 --> 01:03:13,383
- There's a good tittie
- movie on skinimax.
- 1209
- 01:03:13,451 --> 01:03:16,669
- And that's how you'd like
- to live your life, is it?
- 1210
- 01:03:16,737 --> 01:03:17,920
- Yeah.
- 1211
- 01:03:18,956 --> 01:03:20,423
- Pretty much, right.
- 1212
- 01:03:20,491 --> 01:03:22,058
- Scott: What?
- 1213
- 01:03:23,176 --> 01:03:24,227
- [Slap]
- 1214
- 01:03:24,295 --> 01:03:25,445
- Ow!
- 1215
- 01:03:28,199 --> 01:03:31,917
- Scott, I want you to
- meet daddy's Nemesis,
- 1216
- 01:03:31,985 --> 01:03:34,420
- Austin Powers.
- 1217
- 01:03:34,488 --> 01:03:35,988
- What, are you feeding him?
- 1218
- 01:03:36,056 --> 01:03:37,490
- Why don't you just kill him?
- 1219
- 01:03:37,558 --> 01:03:41,026
- No, Scott. I have
- an even better idea.
- 1220
- 01:03:41,094 --> 01:03:44,497
- I'm going to place him in
- an easily escapable situation
- 1221
- 01:03:44,565 --> 01:03:47,333
- involving an overly
- elaborate and exotic death.
- 1222
- 01:03:48,902 --> 01:03:50,453
- Scott: Why don't you
- just shoot him now?
- 1223
- 01:03:50,521 --> 01:03:52,622
- I mean, I'll go get a gun.
- We'll shoot him together.
- 1224
- 01:03:52,690 --> 01:03:53,723
- It'll be fun. Bang!
- 1225
- 01:03:53,791 --> 01:03:54,957
- Dead. Done.
- 1226
- 01:03:55,025 --> 01:03:57,494
- One more peep out of you
- and you are grounded, mister,
- 1227
- 01:03:57,561 --> 01:03:59,129
- and I am not joking.
- 1228
- 01:04:02,199 --> 01:04:03,533
- All right. Let's begin.
- 1229
- 01:04:03,600 --> 01:04:08,138
- Dr. Evil, do you really
- expect them to pay?
- 1230
- 01:04:08,205 --> 01:04:10,573
- No, Mr. Powers.
- 1231
- 01:04:10,641 --> 01:04:14,577
- I expect them to die.
- 1232
- 01:04:14,645 --> 01:04:16,913
- Even after they pay me the money,
- 1233
- 01:04:16,980 --> 01:04:22,018
- I'm still going to melt every city
- on the planet with liquid hot magma.
- 1234
- 01:04:23,721 --> 01:04:25,422
- Release the sharks!
- 1235
- 01:04:25,489 --> 01:04:27,957
- Mr. Powers, you'll
- notice that all the sharks
- 1236
- 01:04:28,025 --> 01:04:30,460
- have laser beams
- attached to their heads.
- 1237
- 01:04:30,528 --> 01:04:33,612
- I figure every creature
- deserves a warm meal.
- 1238
- 01:04:34,882 --> 01:04:38,635
- Ahem. Dr. Evil, it's
- about the sharks.
- 1239
- 01:04:38,702 --> 01:04:43,139
- When you were frozen, they were
- put on the endangered species list.
- 1240
- 01:04:43,206 --> 01:04:45,141
- We tried to get some,
- 1241
- 01:04:45,208 --> 01:04:48,478
- but it would've taken months
- to clear up the red tape.
- 1242
- 01:04:48,546 --> 01:04:52,148
- You know, I have
- one simple request,
- 1243
- 01:04:52,216 --> 01:04:54,617
- and that is to have sharks
- 1244
- 01:04:54,685 --> 01:04:57,587
- with frickin' laser beams
- attached to their heads.
- 1245
- 01:04:57,654 --> 01:05:03,275
- Now, evidently my cycloptic colleague
- informs me that that can't be done.
- 1246
- 01:05:03,343 --> 01:05:05,895
- Can you remind me what
- I pay you people for?
- 1247
- 01:05:05,963 --> 01:05:08,665
- Honestly, throw me a bone here.
- 1248
- 01:05:08,732 --> 01:05:10,282
- What do we have?
- 1249
- 01:05:10,350 --> 01:05:12,202
- Sea bass.
- 1250
- 01:05:15,539 --> 01:05:17,707
- Right.
- 1251
- 01:05:17,774 --> 01:05:20,977
- They are mutated sea bass.
- 1252
- 01:05:21,044 --> 01:05:24,114
- Really? Are they ill-tempered?
- 1253
- 01:05:24,181 --> 01:05:24,981
- Absolutely.
- 1254
- 01:05:25,048 --> 01:05:27,550
- That's a start, you know.
- 1255
- 01:05:27,618 --> 01:05:32,388
- All right, guard, begin the unnecessarily
- slow-moving dipping mechanism.
- 1256
- 01:05:33,273 --> 01:05:34,240
- Oh!
- 1257
- 01:05:34,307 --> 01:05:36,609
- Close the tank!
- 1258
- 01:05:37,328 --> 01:05:39,162
- A-aren't you even
- going to watch them?
- 1259
- 01:05:39,230 --> 01:05:40,730
- They could get away.
- 1260
- 01:05:40,797 --> 01:05:43,600
- No, no, no. I'm going
- to leave them alone
- 1261
- 01:05:43,667 --> 01:05:45,635
- and not actually
- witness them dying.
- 1262
- 01:05:45,703 --> 01:05:47,604
- I'm just going to assume
- it all went to plan--what?
- 1263
- 01:05:47,671 --> 01:05:50,640
- I have a gun in my room.
- 1264
- 01:05:50,708 --> 01:05:51,674
- You give me 5 seconds, I'll get it.
- 1265
- 01:05:51,742 --> 01:05:53,643
- I'll come back down here, boom!
- 1266
- 01:05:53,711 --> 01:05:55,378
- I'll blow their brains out.
- 1267
- 01:05:55,445 --> 01:05:56,513
- Scott.
- 1268
- 01:05:57,414 --> 01:06:00,550
- You just don't get it, do you?
- 1269
- 01:06:00,618 --> 01:06:01,818
- You don't.
- 1270
- 01:06:03,654 --> 01:06:04,871
- It's no hassle.
- 1271
- 01:06:04,938 --> 01:06:05,838
- Shh.
- 1272
- 01:06:05,906 --> 01:06:07,539
- Shh!
- But--
- 1273
- 01:06:07,607 --> 01:06:09,292
- all I'm
- say-- shh!
- 1274
- 01:06:09,360 --> 01:06:10,676
- Shh! They're
- gonna get--
- 1275
- 01:06:10,744 --> 01:06:11,677
- I--
- shh!
- 1276
- 01:06:11,745 --> 01:06:12,945
- Shh!
- I'm--
- 1277
- 01:06:13,013 --> 01:06:13,946
- would--
- shh!
- 1278
- 01:06:14,014 --> 01:06:15,248
- Knock knock. Who's there?
- 1279
- 01:06:15,315 --> 01:06:17,116
- Shh!
- 1280
- 01:06:17,184 --> 01:06:18,117
- Shh!
- Look--
- 1281
- 01:06:18,185 --> 01:06:19,618
- let me tell you a little story
- 1282
- 01:06:19,686 --> 01:06:21,187
- about a man
- named--shh!
- 1283
- 01:06:21,255 --> 01:06:22,655
- Shh! Even before you start,
- 1284
- 01:06:22,722 --> 01:06:25,124
- that was a preemptive shh!
- 1285
- 01:06:25,192 --> 01:06:29,695
- Just know that I have a whole
- bag of shh! With your name on it.
- 1286
- 01:06:32,166 --> 01:06:33,365
- Aah!
- 1287
- 01:06:34,301 --> 01:06:35,734
- What's your plan?
- 1288
- 01:06:35,803 --> 01:06:38,838
- First, I plan to soil myself.
- 1289
- 01:06:38,906 --> 01:06:41,640
- Then I'm going to regroup
- and come up with a new plan.
- 1290
- 01:06:41,708 --> 01:06:43,910
- Any thoughts?
- 1291
- 01:06:43,977 --> 01:06:45,061
- Wait a minute.
- 1292
- 01:06:46,163 --> 01:06:49,131
- I always have this
- with me, just in case.
- 1293
- 01:06:49,199 --> 01:06:50,382
- Ok. I get it.
- 1294
- 01:06:50,450 --> 01:06:52,318
- I have bad teeth.
- 1295
- 01:06:52,385 --> 01:06:56,505
- No, Austin. The floss is to
- swing ourselves onto the ledge.
- 1296
- 01:06:56,574 --> 01:06:58,107
- Ohh!
- 1297
- 01:06:58,175 --> 01:06:59,558
- All right. Hold on.
- 1298
- 01:07:01,728 --> 01:07:04,897
- Austin: Got it. Ok. Toothpaste.
- 1299
- 01:07:04,965 --> 01:07:05,832
- Hello.
- 1300
- 01:07:09,753 --> 01:07:10,720
- Judo chop!
- 1301
- 01:07:10,788 --> 01:07:12,822
- Aah!
- 1302
- 01:07:12,890 --> 01:07:15,024
- Hang on!
- 1303
- 01:07:19,145 --> 01:07:20,213
- Hoh!
- 1304
- 01:07:23,817 --> 01:07:25,317
- Judo trip.
- 1305
- 01:07:27,571 --> 01:07:28,805
- No!
- 1306
- 01:07:33,627 --> 01:07:35,294
- Eww! Aw!
- 1307
- 01:07:35,362 --> 01:07:37,697
- Eww!
- 1308
- 01:07:38,599 --> 01:07:39,866
- [Belch]
- 1309
- 01:07:39,933 --> 01:07:43,469
- Not a good time to lose one's head.
- 1310
- 01:07:43,537 --> 01:07:45,004
- Indeed.
- 1311
- 01:07:46,072 --> 01:07:48,508
- That's not the way
- to get ahead in life.
- 1312
- 01:07:48,575 --> 01:07:49,675
- No.
- 1313
- 01:07:50,777 --> 01:07:53,846
- It's a shame he
- wasn't more headstrong.
- 1314
- 01:07:55,015 --> 01:07:57,683
- He'll never be the head
- of a major corporation.
- 1315
- 01:07:57,751 --> 01:07:59,519
- Ok. That'll do. Ok.
- 1316
- 01:08:05,358 --> 01:08:07,593
- Oh, no! What are we gonna do?
- 1317
- 01:08:07,660 --> 01:08:10,179
- Oh, look. There's an
- emergency exit. Go get help.
- 1318
- 01:08:10,247 --> 01:08:12,665
- I'm gonna stay here and
- keep an eye on Dr. Evil.
- 1319
- 01:08:12,733 --> 01:08:14,950
- Ok. I'll hurry back.
- 1320
- 01:08:17,087 --> 01:08:19,489
- Listen, Vanessa.
- 1321
- 01:08:20,573 --> 01:08:23,542
- Whatever happens,
- I want you to know
- 1322
- 01:08:23,610 --> 01:08:27,679
- that I feel really bad
- about that Italian bird.
- 1323
- 01:08:28,916 --> 01:08:31,150
- What I'm trying to say is...
- 1324
- 01:08:31,218 --> 01:08:34,686
- That if you want me
- to be a one-woman man,
- 1325
- 01:08:34,754 --> 01:08:37,323
- well, that's just groovy, baby.
- 1326
- 01:08:37,391 --> 01:08:40,492
- Behave.
- 1327
- 01:09:17,064 --> 01:09:18,497
- Come, everyone.
- 1328
- 01:09:18,565 --> 01:09:21,734
- Let us repair to the main chamber.
- 1329
- 01:09:21,802 --> 01:09:24,870
- Project vulcan is about to begin.
- 1330
- 01:09:28,108 --> 01:09:31,644
- Scott, don't you want to see
- what daddy does for a living?
- 1331
- 01:09:31,712 --> 01:09:32,645
- Blow me.
- 1332
- 01:09:32,713 --> 01:09:34,513
- Excuse me?
- 1333
- 01:09:34,581 --> 01:09:35,648
- Show me.
- 1334
- 01:09:37,084 --> 01:09:38,383
- Ok.
- 1335
- 01:09:49,312 --> 01:09:51,914
- Dr. Evil: Position the vulcan.
- 1336
- 01:10:05,646 --> 01:10:08,147
- Dr. Evil: Bring in the warhead.
- 1337
- 01:10:21,662 --> 01:10:22,828
- Ooh.
- 1338
- 01:10:37,044 --> 01:10:38,577
- Hello, hello.
- 1339
- 01:10:38,645 --> 01:10:40,079
- Hello, Mr. Powers.
- 1340
- 01:10:40,147 --> 01:10:42,248
- Hello, Mr. Powers.
- Hello, Mr. Powers.
- 1341
- 01:10:42,315 --> 01:10:43,733
- Care to have a little fun?
- 1342
- 01:10:43,801 --> 01:10:45,601
- Care to have a little fun?
- 1343
- 01:10:45,669 --> 01:10:46,819
- No, actually, I, uh...
- 1344
- 01:10:46,887 --> 01:10:48,921
- I have to save the world.
- 1345
- 01:10:48,989 --> 01:10:50,422
- Oh. Oh.
- 1346
- 01:10:59,465 --> 01:11:01,967
- Is it cold in here?
- 1347
- 01:11:18,552 --> 01:11:20,002
- Arm the probe.
- 1348
- 01:11:33,700 --> 01:11:35,768
- Yeah...
- 1349
- 01:11:35,836 --> 01:11:36,802
- Yeah...
- 1350
- 01:11:36,870 --> 01:11:40,272
- No! No. No, I've
- got to get Dr. Evil.
- 1351
- 01:11:40,340 --> 01:11:42,775
- I've got to get Dr. Evil.
- 1352
- 01:11:42,843 --> 01:11:45,778
- No, no, no. Um, baseball,
- uh, cold showers.
- 1353
- 01:11:45,846 --> 01:11:47,279
- Baseball. Cold showers.
- 1354
- 01:11:47,347 --> 01:11:49,281
- Give it up, Mr. Powers.
- 1355
- 01:11:49,349 --> 01:11:51,784
- Margaret Thatcher
- naked on a cold day.
- 1356
- 01:11:51,852 --> 01:11:54,519
- Margaret Thatcher
- naked on a cold day.
- 1357
- 01:11:54,587 --> 01:11:55,421
- Man: Right up positions.
- 1358
- 01:11:55,489 --> 01:11:56,555
- Vanessa: Gentlemen.
- 1359
- 01:12:00,861 --> 01:12:02,261
- Let's lock and load.
- 1360
- 01:12:02,328 --> 01:12:05,531
- Man: Right, lads. Hup,
- hup, hup, move, move, move!
- 1361
- 01:12:05,599 --> 01:12:06,616
- Don't go.
- 1362
- 01:12:06,683 --> 01:12:08,384
- Stay with us. Don't go.
- 1363
- 01:12:08,452 --> 01:12:09,284
- Please don't go.
- 1364
- 01:12:09,352 --> 01:12:11,721
- You can't resist us, Mr. Powers.
- 1365
- 01:12:11,788 --> 01:12:14,356
- You can't resist us, Mr. Powers.
- 1366
- 01:12:14,424 --> 01:12:16,258
- Au contraire, baby.
- 1367
- 01:12:16,326 --> 01:12:19,194
- I think you can't resist me.
- 1368
- 01:12:19,262 --> 01:12:21,263
- Woman: ♪ you're the one
- 1369
- 01:12:21,331 --> 01:12:23,766
- ♪ who makes me come runnin' ♪
- 1370
- 01:12:23,833 --> 01:12:28,320
- ♪ you're the sun
- who makes me shine ♪
- 1371
- 01:12:28,388 --> 01:12:32,792
- ♪ when you're around,
- I'm always laughing ♪
- 1372
- 01:12:32,859 --> 01:12:36,796
- ♪ I want to make you mine
- 1373
- 01:12:36,863 --> 01:12:38,798
- ♪ I close my eyes
- 1374
- 01:12:38,865 --> 01:12:41,233
- ♪ and see you before me
- 1375
- 01:12:41,301 --> 01:12:43,536
- ♪ I think I would die
- 1376
- 01:12:43,603 --> 01:12:45,288
- ♪ if you were to ignore me
- 1377
- 01:12:45,355 --> 01:12:47,022
- ♪ have a good see
- 1378
- 01:12:47,090 --> 01:12:50,326
- ♪ just how much I adore you ♪
- 1379
- 01:12:50,394 --> 01:12:51,661
- ♪ I'd get down on my knees ♪
- 1380
- 01:12:51,728 --> 01:12:54,730
- ♪ I'd do anything for you
- 1381
- 01:12:54,798 --> 01:12:59,302
- ♪ I don't want anybody else ♪
- 1382
- 01:12:59,369 --> 01:13:03,556
- ♪ when I think about
- you, I touch myself ♪
- 1383
- 01:13:03,623 --> 01:13:08,126
- ♪ ah-ah-ah, I don't
- want anybody else ♪
- 1384
- 01:13:08,194 --> 01:13:12,431
- ♪ oh, no, oh, no, oh, no
- 1385
- 01:13:12,498 --> 01:13:14,216
- I want you.
- 1386
- 01:13:14,284 --> 01:13:16,468
- I don't want anybody else.
- 1387
- 01:13:16,536 --> 01:13:18,821
- When I think about you,
- 1388
- 01:13:18,888 --> 01:13:20,489
- I touch myself.
- 1389
- 01:13:20,557 --> 01:13:21,890
- Ooh.
- 1390
- 01:13:22,676 --> 01:13:25,077
- ♪ I
- 1391
- 01:13:25,144 --> 01:13:29,699
- ♪ I don't want anybody else ♪
- 1392
- 01:13:29,766 --> 01:13:33,302
- ♪ when I think about
- you, I touch myself ♪
- 1393
- 01:13:33,369 --> 01:13:38,324
- ♪ ah-ah-ah, I don't
- want anybody else ♪
- 1394
- 01:13:38,391 --> 01:13:42,094
- ♪ when I think about
- you, I touch myself ♪
- 1395
- 01:13:42,162 --> 01:13:44,163
- ♪ I touch myself
- 1396
- 01:13:44,231 --> 01:13:45,931
- Austin?
- 1397
- 01:13:45,999 --> 01:13:46,932
- Vanessa!
- 1398
- 01:13:47,000 --> 01:13:50,235
- Uh, it's not what it seems.
- 1399
- 01:13:51,771 --> 01:13:52,905
- At ease, boys.
- 1400
- 01:13:52,973 --> 01:13:54,173
- Likewise.
- 1401
- 01:13:55,808 --> 01:13:57,276
- Vanessa, I can explain.
- 1402
- 01:13:57,344 --> 01:14:00,363
- What happened was I broke
- in trying to get to Dr. Evil.
- 1403
- 01:14:00,430 --> 01:14:03,232
- Then all of a sudden,
- the fembots came by,
- 1404
- 01:14:03,299 --> 01:14:04,800
- and smoke started to come
- out of their jumblies.
- 1405
- 01:14:04,868 --> 01:14:06,769
- So I thought I'd
- work my mojo, right?
- 1406
- 01:14:06,836 --> 01:14:08,437
- To counter their mojo.
- 1407
- 01:14:08,505 --> 01:14:10,756
- We got cross-mojonations, and
- their heads started exploding.
- 1408
- 01:14:10,824 --> 01:14:14,276
- You know, that thing, and I
- ended up in my knickers here,
- 1409
- 01:14:14,344 --> 01:14:15,411
- and then...
- 1410
- 01:14:16,413 --> 01:14:18,347
- Ok, Austin, I believe you.
- 1411
- 01:14:18,415 --> 01:14:19,948
- Now, get dressed.
- 1412
- 01:14:20,016 --> 01:14:21,800
- Smashing, baby.
- 1413
- 01:14:22,635 --> 01:14:23,835
- Onward, boys.
- 1414
- 01:14:27,974 --> 01:14:31,910
- Launching the subterranean probe.
- 1415
- 01:14:35,198 --> 01:14:38,684
- P.A.: Begin initial
- surface penetration.
- 1416
- 01:14:41,822 --> 01:14:47,326
- Subterranean nuclear detonation
- in 3 minutes and counting.
- 1417
- 01:14:47,394 --> 01:14:49,962
- Uhh. Aah!
- 1418
- 01:14:56,769 --> 01:14:58,070
- Man: Watch out!
- 1419
- 01:15:02,042 --> 01:15:03,675
- Man: ♪ there's a man who leads
- 1420
- 01:15:03,744 --> 01:15:04,676
- right front!
- 1421
- 01:15:04,745 --> 01:15:06,011
- ♪ A life of danger
- 1422
- 01:15:06,079 --> 01:15:08,230
- subterranean nuclear detonation
- in 3 minutes and counting.
- 1423
- 01:15:08,298 --> 01:15:12,985
- ♪ To everyone he meets,
- he stays a stranger ♪
- 1424
- 01:15:13,052 --> 01:15:16,038
- ♪ every move he makes
- 1425
- 01:15:16,106 --> 01:15:19,408
- ♪ another chance he takes
- 1426
- 01:15:19,476 --> 01:15:21,142
- oh, I tripped!
- 1427
- 01:15:21,210 --> 01:15:22,911
- Ow! Ow! Ow!
- 1428
- 01:15:22,979 --> 01:15:25,080
- Open the frickin' door!
- 1429
- 01:15:25,147 --> 01:15:28,734
- ♪ Secret agent man,
- secret agent man ♪
- 1430
- 01:15:28,801 --> 01:15:31,653
- P.A.: Probe destruction
- beginning in...
- 1431
- 01:15:31,721 --> 01:15:37,659
- ♪ They've given you a number
- and taken away your name ♪
- 1432
- 01:15:37,727 --> 01:15:38,693
- Aah!
- 1433
- 01:15:38,761 --> 01:15:40,229
- P.A.: 6...
- 1434
- 01:15:40,296 --> 01:15:41,497
- 5...
- 1435
- 01:15:41,564 --> 01:15:42,764
- 4...
- 1436
- 01:15:42,832 --> 01:15:44,416
- 3...
- 1437
- 01:15:44,484 --> 01:15:45,333
- 2...
- 1438
- 01:15:45,402 --> 01:15:47,536
- 1...
- 1439
- 01:15:47,604 --> 01:15:51,590
- Nooooo!
- 1440
- 01:15:54,361 --> 01:15:57,963
- P.A.: Abort. Abort. Abort.
- 1441
- 01:15:58,031 --> 01:16:01,100
- [Cheering]
- 1442
- 01:16:02,803 --> 01:16:04,203
- Now to Dr. Evil.
- 1443
- 01:16:05,205 --> 01:16:07,907
- Din-din.
- 1444
- 01:16:07,974 --> 01:16:10,742
- ♪ I want chicken,
- I want liver ♪
- 1445
- 01:16:10,811 --> 01:16:13,545
- ♪ meow mix, meow
- mix, please deliver ♪
- 1446
- 01:16:14,447 --> 01:16:17,049
- I've got you now, Dr. Evil.
- 1447
- 01:16:17,984 --> 01:16:20,585
- Well done, Mr. Powers.
- 1448
- 01:16:20,653 --> 01:16:24,790
- We're not so different, you and I.
- 1449
- 01:16:24,858 --> 01:16:27,459
- However, isn't it ironic
- 1450
- 01:16:27,527 --> 01:16:30,329
- that the very things
- that you stand for--
- 1451
- 01:16:30,396 --> 01:16:34,399
- free love,
- swinging parties--
- 1452
- 01:16:34,467 --> 01:16:37,236
- are all now in the nineties
- 1453
- 01:16:37,304 --> 01:16:40,672
- considered to be...
- 1454
- 01:16:40,740 --> 01:16:41,773
- Evil?
- 1455
- 01:16:41,842 --> 01:16:43,075
- No, man.
- 1456
- 01:16:43,143 --> 01:16:45,577
- What we swingers
- were rebelling against
- 1457
- 01:16:45,645 --> 01:16:47,546
- is uptight squares like you
- 1458
- 01:16:47,613 --> 01:16:50,582
- whose bag was money
- and world domination.
- 1459
- 01:16:50,650 --> 01:16:52,051
- We were innocent, man.
- 1460
- 01:16:52,118 --> 01:16:55,554
- If we'd known the consequences
- of our sexual liberation,
- 1461
- 01:16:55,621 --> 01:16:57,556
- we would have done
- things differently,
- 1462
- 01:16:57,623 --> 01:17:00,059
- but the spirit would've
- remained the same.
- 1463
- 01:17:00,126 --> 01:17:01,560
- It's freedom, baby.
- 1464
- 01:17:01,627 --> 01:17:02,828
- Yeah!
- 1465
- 01:17:02,896 --> 01:17:03,963
- Face it.
- 1466
- 01:17:04,865 --> 01:17:06,265
- Freedom failed.
- 1467
- 01:17:06,333 --> 01:17:08,533
- No, man, freedom didn't fail.
- 1468
- 01:17:08,601 --> 01:17:12,571
- Right now we've got
- freedom and responsibility.
- 1469
- 01:17:12,638 --> 01:17:14,773
- It's a very groovy time.
- 1470
- 01:17:14,841 --> 01:17:18,344
- There's nothing more pathetic
- than an aging hipster.
- 1471
- 01:17:18,411 --> 01:17:21,046
- All right, baldy.
- Shut your cakehole.
- 1472
- 01:17:21,114 --> 01:17:23,582
- Come on. Let's go. On your bike.
- 1473
- 01:17:23,649 --> 01:17:26,018
- Not so fast.
- 1474
- 01:17:26,086 --> 01:17:29,521
- It seems the tables
- have turned, Mr. Powers.
- 1475
- 01:17:29,589 --> 01:17:32,157
- Go ahead, Austin.
- Don't worry about me.
- 1476
- 01:17:32,225 --> 01:17:35,160
- Hey, I can take my
- sega, right, dad?
- 1477
- 01:17:35,228 --> 01:17:38,764
- It seems the tables have
- turned again, Dr. Evil.
- 1478
- 01:17:38,831 --> 01:17:40,699
- Not really. Kill
- the little bastard.
- 1479
- 01:17:40,767 --> 01:17:41,800
- See what I care.
- 1480
- 01:17:41,868 --> 01:17:44,270
- But, dad, we just had
- a breakthrough in group.
- 1481
- 01:17:44,337 --> 01:17:46,805
- I had the group
- liquidated, you little shit.
- 1482
- 01:17:46,873 --> 01:17:48,340
- They were insolent.
- 1483
- 01:17:48,408 --> 01:17:50,842
- I hate you! I hate you!
- 1484
- 01:17:50,910 --> 01:17:53,111
- I wish I was never
- artificially created in a lab.
- 1485
- 01:17:53,179 --> 01:17:56,448
- Scott, that hurts daddy
- when you say that, honestly.
- 1486
- 01:17:56,516 --> 01:18:01,153
- Ah, Number Two. Your
- timing is impeccable.
- 1487
- 01:18:01,221 --> 01:18:03,488
- Go ahead. Take Mr. Powers away.
- 1488
- 01:18:03,556 --> 01:18:05,274
- No.
- 1489
- 01:18:05,341 --> 01:18:07,059
- What?
- 1490
- 01:18:07,127 --> 01:18:10,462
- Dr. Evil, I've spent
- 30 years of my life
- 1491
- 01:18:10,530 --> 01:18:15,935
- turning this two-bit evil empire
- into a world-class multinational.
- 1492
- 01:18:16,002 --> 01:18:18,703
- I was going to have a
- cover story in Forbes.
- 1493
- 01:18:18,771 --> 01:18:22,524
- But, you, like an idiot,
- wanted to take over the world.
- 1494
- 01:18:22,592 --> 01:18:25,160
- And you don't realize
- there is no world anymore.
- 1495
- 01:18:25,228 --> 01:18:27,128
- It's only corporations.
- 1496
- 01:18:27,197 --> 01:18:28,797
- Silence, Number Two!
- 1497
- 01:18:28,864 --> 01:18:29,748
- No!
- 1498
- 01:18:29,816 --> 01:18:32,751
- [Whining] I've had enough
- of you pushing me around.
- 1499
- 01:18:32,819 --> 01:18:34,119
- [Sobbing]
- 1500
- 01:18:35,555 --> 01:18:37,056
- Mr. Powers...
- 1501
- 01:18:37,123 --> 01:18:39,058
- I have a business proposition
- 1502
- 01:18:39,125 --> 01:18:41,226
- you might find very interesting.
- 1503
- 01:18:42,329 --> 01:18:44,530
- All right. I've had enough.
- 1504
- 01:18:44,597 --> 01:18:46,965
- Whoa!
- 1505
- 01:18:47,033 --> 01:18:49,000
- Aah!
- 1506
- 01:18:49,068 --> 01:18:50,569
- Judo chop!
- 1507
- 01:18:51,805 --> 01:18:53,706
- [Alarm buzzes]
- 1508
- 01:18:53,773 --> 01:18:56,191
- P.A.: The complex
- will self-destruct.
- 1509
- 01:19:01,681 --> 01:19:02,814
- Let's split! Let's go!
- 1510
- 01:19:05,352 --> 01:19:07,753
- This place is gonna blow!
- 1511
- 01:19:10,507 --> 01:19:12,558
- [People shouting]
- 1512
- 01:19:13,409 --> 01:19:15,728
- P.A.: The complex
- will self-destruct.
- 1513
- 01:19:17,831 --> 01:19:19,598
- Come on. Let's go.
- 1514
- 01:19:22,835 --> 01:19:25,437
- P.A.: The complex
- will self-destruct.
- 1515
- 01:19:26,239 --> 01:19:27,205
- This way, Austin.
- 1516
- 01:19:27,273 --> 01:19:28,674
- Come on, baby! It's gonna blow!
- 1517
- 01:19:28,741 --> 01:19:30,742
- Let's go. Move it!
- 1518
- 01:19:30,810 --> 01:19:33,028
- Alley-oop!
- 1519
- 01:19:33,095 --> 01:19:37,483
- Aag. Ohh!
- 1520
- 01:19:37,551 --> 01:19:38,884
- Ooooh...
- 1521
- 01:19:43,222 --> 01:19:45,607
- [Alarm buzzes]
- 1522
- 01:19:53,783 --> 01:19:56,218
- [Bells chime]
- 1523
- 01:19:56,286 --> 01:19:58,353
- [Man laughs]
- 1524
- 01:20:00,589 --> 01:20:02,057
- [Vanessa chuckles]
- 1525
- 01:20:02,125 --> 01:20:03,558
- [Austin groans]
- 1526
- 01:20:03,626 --> 01:20:05,861
- Yeah. Mmm.
- 1527
- 01:20:07,297 --> 01:20:08,697
- [Chuckles]
- 1528
- 01:20:08,764 --> 01:20:11,200
- I love you, Mr. Powers.
- 1529
- 01:20:11,267 --> 01:20:14,870
- And I love you, Mrs. Powers.
- 1530
- 01:20:16,272 --> 01:20:17,706
- [Musical beeping]
- 1531
- 01:20:17,773 --> 01:20:19,541
- Oh, that'll be basil exposition.
- 1532
- 01:20:20,293 --> 01:20:22,227
- Oh, ignore it, Austin.
- Come back to bed.
- 1533
- 01:20:22,295 --> 01:20:24,546
- Duty calls, baby.
- 1534
- 01:20:27,300 --> 01:20:27,983
- [Beep]
- 1535
- 01:20:28,051 --> 01:20:29,218
- Hello, Austin.
- 1536
- 01:20:29,285 --> 01:20:32,771
- Oh, I--I hope I'm not
- interrupting your honeymoon.
- 1537
- 01:20:32,839 --> 01:20:35,474
- No, not at all, basil.
- 1538
- 01:20:35,542 --> 01:20:37,843
- Did you get that fruit
- basket I sent you?
- 1539
- 01:20:37,911 --> 01:20:40,412
- Yes, we did, basil,
- but you sent too much.
- 1540
- 01:20:40,480 --> 01:20:42,915
- I'm gonna have to
- send some to my mother.
- 1541
- 01:20:42,983 --> 01:20:44,750
- Oh, don't forget these.
- 1542
- 01:20:44,818 --> 01:20:45,751
- Oh, thanks.
- 1543
- 01:20:45,819 --> 01:20:47,285
- There you go.
- 1544
- 01:20:47,353 --> 01:20:49,237
- Did you get my other gift?
- 1545
- 01:20:49,305 --> 01:20:50,289
- We did.
- 1546
- 01:20:50,357 --> 01:20:53,659
- Yes, basil, nice rack.
- 1547
- 01:20:53,727 --> 01:20:56,995
- But who in the world
- gave us this drawing?
- 1548
- 01:20:57,063 --> 01:20:58,297
- It's bizarre.
- 1549
- 01:20:58,365 --> 01:21:02,251
- Well, as you know, Dr. Evil
- has escaped in his rocket,
- 1550
- 01:21:02,318 --> 01:21:05,270
- which has disappeared
- from our tracking system.
- 1551
- 01:21:05,338 --> 01:21:06,805
- Oh, dear, hold on. Coffee?
- 1552
- 01:21:06,873 --> 01:21:07,973
- Oh, yes, please.
- 1553
- 01:21:08,041 --> 01:21:09,341
- Ok. Thank you.
- 1554
- 01:21:09,408 --> 01:21:11,010
- Oh, and Vanessa, by the way,
- 1555
- 01:21:11,077 --> 01:21:13,779
- you have been made a full agent.
- 1556
- 01:21:13,847 --> 01:21:15,964
- Oh, that's fantastic,
- basil! Thanks.
- 1557
- 01:21:16,032 --> 01:21:16,999
- Milk?
- 1558
- 01:21:17,066 --> 01:21:18,600
- Oh, yes, please.
- 1559
- 01:21:18,667 --> 01:21:23,405
- And, Austin, her majesty the queen
- informs me that you are to be knighted.
- 1560
- 01:21:23,472 --> 01:21:25,473
- Very shagadelic!
- 1561
- 01:21:25,541 --> 01:21:27,826
- Well, the best of
- luck to both of you!
- 1562
- 01:21:27,894 --> 01:21:29,177
- Thanks, basil.
- 1563
- 01:21:29,245 --> 01:21:31,113
- Good-bye.
- 1564
- 01:21:31,180 --> 01:21:32,330
- You know, Vanessa,
- 1565
- 01:21:32,398 --> 01:21:35,901
- I'll never forget the
- first time I saw you.
- 1566
- 01:21:35,969 --> 01:21:38,253
- You were so incredibly beautiful...
- 1567
- 01:21:39,789 --> 01:21:41,840
- So incredibly sexy...
- 1568
- 01:21:42,942 --> 01:21:44,576
- I knew I had to have you.
- 1569
- 01:21:45,879 --> 01:21:47,612
- Right then and there.
- 1570
- 01:21:49,482 --> 01:21:52,284
- Did you feel the same way?
- 1571
- 01:21:52,351 --> 01:21:54,703
- Actually, I couldn't stop
- staring at your teeth.
- 1572
- 01:21:54,771 --> 01:21:55,737
- Oh.
- 1573
- 01:21:57,273 --> 01:21:58,240
- [Knock on door]
- 1574
- 01:21:58,308 --> 01:22:00,608
- Oh, I ordered some
- champagne. Come in!
- 1575
- 01:22:00,676 --> 01:22:02,477
- Vanessa: Oh, lovely, Austin.
- 1576
- 01:22:02,545 --> 01:22:04,612
- Austin: Right over
- there's fine. Thank you.
- 1577
- 01:22:04,680 --> 01:22:05,280
- Let's go out on the terrace.
- 1578
- 01:22:05,347 --> 01:22:06,247
- It's a beautiful night.
- 1579
- 01:22:06,315 --> 01:22:08,349
- We can look at the stars.
- 1580
- 01:22:08,417 --> 01:22:10,652
- Smashing idea, baby, yeah.
- 1581
- 01:22:10,720 --> 01:22:11,620
- Look at you.
- 1582
- 01:22:11,688 --> 01:22:12,888
- Yeah.
- 1583
- 01:22:12,956 --> 01:22:14,255
- [Neck cracks]
- 1584
- 01:22:14,323 --> 01:22:15,974
- [Gasps] Look out!
- 1585
- 01:22:19,361 --> 01:22:21,830
- That really hurt!
- 1586
- 01:22:21,898 --> 01:22:24,232
- I'm going to have a
- lump there, you idiot.
- 1587
- 01:22:24,300 --> 01:22:27,703
- Who throws a shoe? Honestly.
- 1588
- 01:22:28,771 --> 01:22:30,839
- You fight like a woman.
- 1589
- 01:22:32,592 --> 01:22:37,429
- Ha!
- Ahhhh-ahhhh-ahhhh.
- 1590
- 01:22:37,496 --> 01:22:38,513
- Grr!
- 1591
- 01:22:45,855 --> 01:22:46,705
- Austin.
- 1592
- 01:22:48,441 --> 01:22:50,876
- Honestly, it's not mine.
- 1593
- 01:22:50,943 --> 01:22:52,544
- No, use it.
- 1594
- 01:22:52,612 --> 01:22:54,279
- Uhh!
- 1595
- 01:22:57,250 --> 01:22:59,118
- Uhh!
- 1596
- 01:22:59,185 --> 01:23:01,720
- Uhh!
- 1597
- 01:23:12,232 --> 01:23:13,632
- [Crash]
- 1598
- 01:23:13,699 --> 01:23:15,433
- [Woman screams]
- 1599
- 01:23:15,501 --> 01:23:17,619
- ♪ 'Cause you will
- never show... ♪
- 1600
- 01:23:17,686 --> 01:23:20,188
- Look how beautiful
- the night sky is.
- 1601
- 01:23:20,256 --> 01:23:22,690
- Hey, isn't that the big dipper?
- 1602
- 01:23:22,758 --> 01:23:25,960
- Yeah, and that looks
- just like uranus.
- 1603
- 01:23:26,029 --> 01:23:27,129
- Austin.
- 1604
- 01:23:27,196 --> 01:23:28,497
- Well, you know.
- 1605
- 01:23:28,564 --> 01:23:30,698
- Hey, I've never seen
- that big star before.
- 1606
- 01:23:30,766 --> 01:23:32,300
- Yeah. What is that?
- 1607
- 01:23:35,254 --> 01:23:37,605
- Austin: Good God.
- 1608
- 01:23:41,828 --> 01:23:45,096
- I'm gonna get you, Austin Powers.
- 1609
- 01:23:45,164 --> 01:23:48,867
- It's frickin' freezing
- in here, Mr. Bigglesworth.
- 1610
- 01:23:48,935 --> 01:23:51,537
- [Trembling meow]
- 1611
- 01:23:56,142 --> 01:23:57,476
- ♪ Austin Powers
- 1612
- 01:23:57,543 --> 01:24:00,646
- ♪ he's the man for you
- 1613
- 01:24:07,987 --> 01:24:10,289
- ♪ Austin
- 1614
- 01:24:10,356 --> 01:24:13,958
- ♪ Powers
- 1615
- 01:24:18,598 --> 01:24:19,831
- darling, you look fabulous.
- 1616
- 01:24:19,899 --> 01:24:21,400
- Ok, baby.
- 1617
- 01:24:21,467 --> 01:24:22,734
- All right.
- 1618
- 01:24:22,801 --> 01:24:23,501
- There we go.
- 1619
- 01:24:23,569 --> 01:24:25,687
- Look at that face.
- Show me. Come on.
- 1620
- 01:24:25,755 --> 01:24:27,356
- There. Bit of hair, bit of hair.
- 1621
- 01:24:27,423 --> 01:24:28,840
- Smashing. Ok.
- 1622
- 01:24:28,908 --> 01:24:32,043
- It's coming around
- now. Coming around. Yes.
- 1623
- 01:24:32,111 --> 01:24:34,212
- Yes. Great. Yes. Yes.
- 1624
- 01:24:34,280 --> 01:24:35,797
- Yes. No! No!
- 1625
- 01:24:35,815 --> 01:24:37,615
- No, it's not working!
- 1626
- 01:24:37,683 --> 01:24:39,134
- Go change. There you go.
- 1627
- 01:24:39,202 --> 01:24:41,186
- Can you change her? Is
- that ok? Is that all right?
- 1628
- 01:24:41,254 --> 01:24:42,821
- Very good.
- 1629
- 01:24:42,888 --> 01:24:43,939
- Very good.
- 1630
- 01:24:44,006 --> 01:24:45,189
- And right here.
- 1631
- 01:24:45,257 --> 01:24:47,575
- Right here. Looking right there.
- 1632
- 01:24:47,643 --> 01:24:49,477
- I'm not even looking.
- 1633
- 01:24:49,512 --> 01:24:50,812
- Oh, you're wicked!
- 1634
- 01:24:50,879 --> 01:24:53,898
- You got your mojo working
- overtime, darling. Yeah.
- 1635
- 01:24:53,966 --> 01:24:56,184
- Look. I'm not even
- shooting it. It's insane.
- 1636
- 01:24:56,251 --> 01:24:57,569
- Smashing.
- 1637
- 01:24:57,637 --> 01:25:00,239
- Come on. Can I get a smile?
- 1638
- 01:25:00,306 --> 01:25:01,623
- Ok, come on.
- 1639
- 01:25:01,691 --> 01:25:03,992
- Come on, you boys.
- Get together. Come on.
- 1640
- 01:25:05,344 --> 01:25:06,912
- Ok, good. Lovin' it.
- 1641
- 01:25:06,979 --> 01:25:08,647
- Let's make a Vanessa sandwich.
- 1642
- 01:25:08,714 --> 01:25:10,282
- The winged horn, the winged horn.
- 1643
- 01:25:10,349 --> 01:25:13,201
- Come on, Austin.
- Give it to me. Go. Go.
- 1644
- 01:25:13,269 --> 01:25:15,036
- Oh, behave.
- 1645
- 01:25:15,104 --> 01:25:17,188
- Ok, you're an animal!
- 1646
- 01:25:17,256 --> 01:25:18,223
- An animal!
- 1647
- 01:25:18,291 --> 01:25:20,024
- Yes.
- 1648
- 01:25:22,778 --> 01:25:23,978
- Yes! That's it.
- 1649
- 01:25:24,046 --> 01:25:25,246
- Yeah. Yeah.
- 1650
- 01:25:25,314 --> 01:25:26,698
- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
- 1651
- 01:25:26,766 --> 01:25:28,183
- Just the top of the
- hair. That's all I want.
- 1652
- 01:25:28,251 --> 01:25:29,851
- Born and shoot.
- 1653
- 01:25:29,919 --> 01:25:31,203
- Again. Try it one more time.
- 1654
- 01:25:31,271 --> 01:25:33,371
- And, um, born and shoot.
- 1655
- 01:25:33,439 --> 01:25:35,473
- That's it. Yeah.
- 1656
- 01:25:35,541 --> 01:25:36,825
- Let's go. Come on. Come on.
- 1657
- 01:25:36,893 --> 01:25:38,259
- Come on!
- 1658
- 01:25:38,327 --> 01:25:40,195
- Ignore this. Ignore this.
- 1659
- 01:25:40,262 --> 01:25:41,479
- Ignore me doing this.
- 1660
- 01:25:41,547 --> 01:25:43,448
- ♪ Watch out, someone's
- gonna get me ♪
- 1661
- 01:25:43,515 --> 01:25:45,200
- ♪ I know it's never gonna... ♪
- 1662
- 01:25:45,267 --> 01:25:46,702
- Fabulous, darling.
- 1663
- 01:25:46,769 --> 01:25:49,838
- ♪ That's just the way it
- tends to be these days ♪
- 1664
- 01:25:49,905 --> 01:25:51,123
- ♪ I try, it never...
- 1665
- 01:25:51,190 --> 01:25:52,874
- Go! Go! Go!
- 1666
- 01:25:52,959 --> 01:25:54,276
- ♪ What it gonna get me
- 1667
- 01:25:54,344 --> 01:25:58,013
- ♪ that's just the way it
- tends to be these days ♪
- 1668
- 01:25:58,081 --> 01:26:00,164
- Lord. Lord.
- 1669
- 01:26:00,232 --> 01:26:01,716
- ♪ These days
- 1670
- 01:26:01,784 --> 01:26:03,669
- ♪ these days yes, yes, yes, yes.
- 1671
- 01:26:03,736 --> 01:26:05,520
- Show me the eye.
- 1672
- 01:26:05,587 --> 01:26:07,705
- Yes. Yes.
- 1673
- 01:26:07,773 --> 01:26:09,841
- Yes. No! No! No!
- 1674
- 01:26:09,909 --> 01:26:12,794
- Never get up. Oh, spit!
- 1675
- 01:26:12,829 --> 01:26:14,029
- We'll take you... [Camera breaks]
- 1676
- 01:26:14,096 --> 01:26:15,563
- And we'll go out on the town
- 1677
- 01:26:15,631 --> 01:26:18,199
- and swing, baby. Yeah.
- 1678
- 01:26:24,573 --> 01:26:25,640
- ♪ Missis
- 1679
- 01:26:27,043 --> 01:26:28,309
- ♪ will ya
- 1680
- 01:26:29,711 --> 01:26:31,179
- ♪ make me tea?
- 1681
- 01:26:32,448 --> 01:26:34,916
- ♪ Make love to me
- 1682
- 01:26:34,983 --> 01:26:36,484
- ♪ put on the telly
- 1683
- 01:26:37,786 --> 01:26:39,320
- ♪ to the BBC
- 1684
- 01:26:40,556 --> 01:26:44,159
- ♪ to the BBC,
- yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
- 1685
- 01:26:44,226 --> 01:26:45,360
- ♪ BBC 1
- 1686
- 01:26:45,428 --> 01:26:46,794
- ♪ BBC 2
- 1687
- 01:26:46,862 --> 01:26:48,163
- ♪ BBC 3
- 1688
- 01:26:48,230 --> 01:26:49,297
- ♪ BBC 4
- 1689
- 01:26:49,365 --> 01:26:50,631
- ♪ BBC 5
- 1690
- 01:26:50,699 --> 01:26:51,899
- ♪ BBC 6
- 1691
- 01:26:51,967 --> 01:26:53,501
- ♪ BBC 7
- 1692
- 01:26:53,569 --> 01:26:55,002
- ♪ BBC heaven
- 1693
- 01:26:56,305 --> 01:26:57,605
- ♪ missis
- 1694
- 01:26:58,941 --> 01:27:00,275
- ♪ will ya
- 1695
- 01:27:01,643 --> 01:27:03,111
- ♪ make me tea?
- 1696
- 01:27:04,447 --> 01:27:06,013
- ♪ Make love to me
- 1697
- 01:27:07,349 --> 01:27:09,784
- ♪ put on the telly
- 1698
- 01:27:09,851 --> 01:27:12,103
- ♪ to the BBC
- 1699
- 01:27:12,171 --> 01:27:16,224
- ♪ to the BBC,
- yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
- 1700
- 01:27:16,292 --> 01:27:17,392
- ♪ BBC 1
- 1701
- 01:27:17,460 --> 01:27:18,693
- ♪ BBC 2
- 1702
- 01:27:18,760 --> 01:27:20,095
- ♪ BBC 3
- 1703
- 01:27:20,162 --> 01:27:21,429
- ♪ BBC 4
- 1704
- 01:27:21,497 --> 01:27:22,848
- ♪ BBC 5
- 1705
- 01:27:22,915 --> 01:27:24,215
- ♪ BBC 6
- 1706
- 01:27:24,283 --> 01:27:25,416
- ♪ BBC 7
- 1707
- 01:27:25,485 --> 01:27:26,952
- ♪ BBC heaven
- 1708
- 01:27:50,359 --> 01:27:51,425
- ♪ missis
- 1709
- 01:27:52,561 --> 01:27:54,195
- ♪ will ya
- 1710
- 01:27:55,798 --> 01:27:56,965
- ♪ make me tea?
- 1711
- 01:27:58,433 --> 01:27:59,901
- ♪ Make love to me
- 1712
- 01:28:01,137 --> 01:28:02,837
- ♪ put on the telly
- 1713
- 01:28:03,806 --> 01:28:05,306
- ♪ to the BBC
- 1714
- 01:28:06,508 --> 01:28:10,011
- ♪ to the BBC,
- yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
- 1715
- 01:28:10,079 --> 01:28:11,312
- ♪ BBC 1
- 1716
- 01:28:11,781 --> 01:28:12,697
- ♪ BBC 2
- 1717
- 01:28:12,765 --> 01:28:14,132
- ♪ BBC 3
- 1718
- 01:28:14,200 --> 01:28:15,267
- ♪ BBC 4
- 1719
- 01:28:15,334 --> 01:28:16,734
- ♪ BBC 5
- 1720
- 01:28:16,802 --> 01:28:18,052
- ♪ BBC 6
- 1721
- 01:28:18,120 --> 01:28:19,487
- ♪ BBC 7
- 1722
- 01:28:19,555 --> 01:28:20,855
- ♪ BBC heaven
- 1723
- 01:28:22,057 --> 01:28:23,858
- ♪ BBC peace
- 1724
- 01:28:43,679 --> 01:28:48,349
- ♪ a thousand thundering
- thrills awake me ♪
- 1725
- 01:28:48,417 --> 01:28:52,587
- ♪ facing insurmountable
- odds greatly ♪
- 1726
- 01:28:52,655 --> 01:28:55,756
- ♪ the female of the species ♪
- 1727
- 01:28:55,824 --> 01:28:58,660
- ♪ is more deadlier
- than the male ♪
- 1728
- 01:29:01,397 --> 01:29:03,899
- ♪ shock, shock,
- horror, horror ♪
- 1729
- 01:29:03,950 --> 01:29:05,684
- ♪ shock, shock, horror
- 1730
- 01:29:05,751 --> 01:29:07,568
- ♪ I'll shout myself hoarse
- 1731
- 01:29:07,636 --> 01:29:10,121
- ♪ for your supernatural force ♪
- 1732
- 01:29:10,189 --> 01:29:13,224
- ♪ the female of the species ♪
- 1733
- 01:29:13,292 --> 01:29:16,094
- ♪ is more deadlier
- than the male ♪
- 1734
- 01:29:18,197 --> 01:29:23,201
- ♪ oh, she deals
- in witchcraft... ♪
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