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- (These were directed at me)
- >Your imagination.
- >A quiet room.
- >No distractions.
- >Some soft ambient music. (I used https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pnzd0mB990s)
- >Day Quietude in Equestria
- >You are Anonymous.
- >And this morning is a morning unlike any other.
- >You've been buying sound-baffling foam from Manehatten for weeks now, and your new room is just about done.
- >The basement has been turned into the perfect recording studio.
- >If only you had a microphone...
- >...
- >Oh well, maybe you can just get one of those soundstones from Porchlight Spackle.
- >Those can record sound magically, right?
- >Ah, wait.
- >She's at the spa with Flutterbutt today.
- >No chance of seeing her without also seeing the yellow menace.
- >Hm...
- >Well, you haven't had a day to yourself in a long time, what with Fluttershit storming in every morning.
- >And no one's gonna barge in here anyway.
- >You hid the entrance beneath your couch.
- >There's a secret exit into the bushes behind your house, too.
- >Just in case.
- >Time to shake hands with the pope.
- "Mene mene, tekel u-pharsin."
- >Light flares out from the center of the room as the space in front of you rips itself apart.
- >His Holiness Francis stands before you, a soft and loving smile on his face.
- >"Ah, Anonymous, it is so wonderful to be called here by you."
- >His smile widens, and you see tears form in the corners of his eyes.
- "Your Holiness, m-may I?"
- >"Of course, my son."
- >Pope Francis extends his weathered hand towards you.
- >You grasp it firmly, feeling the strength of his conviction, but also the boundlessness of his love.
- >Tears stream down both your faces.
- >This is what it feels like to meet this guy?
- >You should've done it sooner.
- >The air in the room begins to waver, flowing inward towards His Holiness.
- >"Ah, it would seem that my time here is up. Be well, Anonymous."
- >All you can do is nod and sob at his words.
- >The center of the room grows bright once more, and when it fades, the pope is gone.
- >You can feel his love surging through you.
- >It's time to bless the ponies of this town.
- >You exit through the bushes, and take off towards the spa.
- >Time to give Fluttershy and Porchlight your love.
- >As you approach the spa, you see Purplesmart and Yellowquiet push the doors open.
- >Fluttershy quickly notices your presence, and you see clear liquid splash the ground behind her.
- "Good afternoon ladies. I've come to let you know something very important."
- >You swear you can see hearts in Fluttershy's eyes.
- >Twilight is sweating so much her coat has turned glossy.
- >Ew.
- >Yet you cannot bring yourself to feel repulsed by them.
- >The light of the LORD will cleanse their souls.
- >You whisper the sacred phrase again.
- "Mene mene, tekel u-pharsin."
- >And the light of the LORD erupts from the heavens.
- >You feel an intense heat, more agonizing than the sun could ever be, and then no more.
- >Twilight gasps in awe, and Fluttershy bows reverently.
- "This world is unclean."
- "It must be purged."
- >Spears of light explode from the skies- and are instantly dispelled.
- >You hear a snicker.
- >An unearthly roars resounds across Equestria, shattering windows, hearts, and eardrums alike.
- >A humongous botfly emerges from the ground, and snickers at you.
- >"Foolish human, did you not know what effect calling the pope would have?"
- >"The barriers between worlds were weakened enough for me to slip through, and now Equestria is mine."
- "B-but the LORD will surely-"
- >"The 'lord' you speak of is false. It was me the whole time."
- >"I am Beelzebub, ruler of the leagues of hell, and you are now mine."
- >There is a sudden extreme pain in your head, as though a million minds occupied it simultaneously and were all extinguished together.
- >Some time later...
- >Day ??? in Equestria(?)
- >You don't know how long this has been going on, but it sure seems like forever.
- >You've been balls deep in this pony for something like 6 weeks now.
- >She's drowning in pleasure and her own juices.
- >Greg, your roommate wasn't so lucky. He had to pleasure Applejack's dog.
- >Poor little demon.
- >Beelzebub walks up and pats you on the back, like a father to his son.
- >You are Anonymous, and today wasn't so bad after all.
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