Anon- When in dubt rub garlic on the vampire

I was only 14 when i got my first Ruger, It was a 10/22.

I remember when my father gave me the gun for my birthday.
He had a strange grin and merley said

"Welcome to the family."

Looking back at his behavior it should have been obvious what was going on.
I didnt know about Giest at the time let alone that some of them were vampires.
Still i wouldnt find out untill a month later.

Thats when i saw my ruger for the first time.

She was short proabbly around 5 foot 1. She didnt have much in the way of curves and wore a simple black and red dress that was emblazoned with the ruger logo.
Her hair was snow white and her eyes were blood red, and her ears were pointy.
She had an attractive face that screamed european noblity with its sharp curves and angular nature.
Her skin was so light it almost seemed to glow underneth the florecent lights of my room.

Suffice to say i was immediately bewitched.

I named her sarah unaware of her true nature. Slowly but surely i became more enraptured by her. Spending all of my money on ammunition and acessories.

With in less then two months time i was her servant.
Anything she asked me to do i did.

In return i could be with her.
Oh i still remember the first time she pulled me close i could feel her breath on my neck and then two sharp pin pricks.

The feeling was odd, I could feel the precious blood flowing from my neck and an inital coldness , but then it was replaced with an opium like daze.

Suffice to say i let her have her way with me. I never questioned what she was doing , all i knew was that she was my rifle and what she did felt good.

A few months of this passed. I was completly under her thumb. Then she suggested that shevwanted a sister.
Sadly i didnt have the money so i took up a job at the mcdonalds it was minimum wage but it paid.

Once i had 3 k she took the money and went online.
She said she wanted a big sister so she purchased an african hawk eye in .416 Ruger.

She also bought an SR 762.

The rest of the money went towards match grade ammunition.

When the two new rifles arrived it was a drab and stormy day. Which was odd as the weatherman said we were supposed to be experiencing a high pressure system fueled by dry air from the midwest.

When i recived the packages from the delivery man he looked shaken as if he had seen an untold horror that was to never be spoke of. As i took the two boxes from i could barely contain my excitement at the thought of having two more family members.

Shara insisted that i only open the boxes under candle light and make a blood offering to the new rifles.

I took out my pocket knife and sliced open the palm of my hand letting the blood flow freely over the rifles.

Sarah chanted something in an arcane tongue that i couldnt understand. But suddenly her hair started to float as if there was an updraft and the candles sputtered and went out.

The blood i had spilled on the rifles disappeared as it was semingly absorbed into them.
They thirsted for the life force of humans and that i did provide.

I was bleeding until my vision got dark and narrow. I was transfixed on completing the ritual.

As I fell to my knees from exhaustion, sarah walked up holding a can of Hoppes gun oil and sprinkled it onto the rifles.

There was a sudden flash of lightning and a deafening boom.

Before me stood two powerful lords of darkness.

The hawkeye towered over me at 7feet 9 inches. Her hair reached down to her waist and was jet black with a faint shimmer of red. Her eyes however were golden and shone with such intensity that they casted a faint glow in the room.

Her dress was black and elegant. The lace work spoke of untold hours of craftsmanship.
But her cape was the real show stopper.

The fabric on the exterior was darker then the kansas night sky, and had the Ruger logo in a repeating pattern. The logos seemed to flow down the cape as if they were raindrops that were falling.

But she was not alone.

The SR 762 was the lesser in stature but still impressive. She gave off an aurora of intimidation. Her yellow eyes shone with predatory intent. Which was only partially concealed by her silver hair that obsucred half her face.

She still towered over me at 6 foot 2 inches. Unlike the others she did not wear a dress but a black combat uniform with a plate carrier. All of her gear had the Ruger R emblazoned in a small red logo.

She walked up to me and put her hand on my head before saying.

"You should be honered to be surounded by such power. "

I can still remember the grin she flashed at me revealing her fangs.
It was a look that a lion would give a Gazzel.

Although i was too enraputured to see any danger. I merley smiled at her. She was my lord and i was but a pawn. Who was i too recive such affection from such a superior being.

At this point my fatigue over took me and i passed out the last thing i heard was.

"He shall be a fun one. I deffinitly like the smell of this pet."

Suddenly a knock came on the front door and i oppened it up. It was the mail man.
He was holding an envelope adressed to my house.

I smilled st him saying
"Hi frank hows your day going?"

He laughed and responded.

"Oh the same as always anyway i cant stop to talk I will see you at the bar later."

As he walked away i opened the envelope.

It was a rather curtious but forcefull message requesting that i stop posting lies about Rugers being vampires on line and it had the webadress with the relevant posts.

As i looked it up i couldnt help but to laugh knowing that one of my rifles had proabbly posted this fanfiction on line.

For some reason they have recently become enamored with the idea of being vampires. Going so far as having me make non alcoholic blood Marie's. And cutting garlic from their food.

Mabey i shouldnt have shown them Hellsing ultimate.


I merley sighed.

I then shouted loudly to gain the rifles attention.

"Girls come here we need to have a talk."

I heard three sets of feet scampering on the floor and suddenly before me stood the rifles.

All of them were wearing some type of vampire cosplay gear. Sarah dressed up as Seras, and then we had Rebeca my african hawk eye dressed up as a female version of alucard. And last but not least my sr 762 Maggie who was dressed up as the vampire from magi poken 3.

I looked at the rifles and sighed.

"What did i tell you girls about writing fanfiction on weapons fourms?"

Immediately they looked crestfallen.
Sarah nervously played with her hair.

Suddenly Rebeca spoke up in some bizzare accent she made up a few weeks ago.

"You silly human you cannot control us. We are the lords of darkness."

I could only laugh the only lords they were of was being a weeaboo.

After i recovered from my fit of laughter i said sternly.
"Come on you guys got me banned from the AR 15 posting board with your roleplaying antics and suggesting that Rugers hungered for the blood of their owners. "

As I said this I focused my gaze on Sarah.

"And you, seriously posting erog about vampires in the comment section of the Box of truth website. Come on."
Suddenly Maggie spoke up her fake plastic fangs slide slightly every time she spoke.

"But master how else will we defeat the protectors of light?"

Oh dear god these guns were going to kill me with humor.

I tried to keep a stright face.

" I told you to stop calling me master its creepy. My name is anon. Also I am not Dracula or the dark lord.. Or batman despite the fact that my job as a park ranger has me monitering bat populations and working at night often."

Sarah gasped.
"Our master has been taken over by the forces of light. We must drive out their mind control from him."

Suddenly the began making arm motions and strange noises.

I could only hang my head and mutter.
"This will be a long day."