Username: Ghost-Quartet

a-ha - Take On Me: 0 Why does society continue to insist that this song is anything other than absolute dog sh*t? This is like, “Africa/Bohemian Rhapsody” levels of overrated. It’s the worst kind of song: it sounds annoying but old people love it so you’re gonna hear it everywhere and it’s catchy enough that it’ll haunt you even after it’s mercifully over. This is useful as an example of a Major 7th interval and nothing else.

ABBA - Dancing Queen: 10 https://positivewlwvibes.tumblr.com/post/181095452809/can-you-imagine-how-fuckong-nuts-straight-people

ABBA - Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight): 10 I’m pretty sure that seeing the first Mama Mia movie in theaters was what made me gay. This song is so iconic I knew all of the words to it after hearing it like once, I remember when I was in middle school someone put this on while we were just sitting around in show choir and everyone lost their minds! There’s just so much drama here, you can relate to it whether you need a man or not. (And just to be clear, I need a man.)

Bastille - Pompeii: 4 This didn’t deserve to win its rate, it’s just noise. I hate this guy’s voice and the mindless, droning production, but I do have to give points for originality because it is unique I guess (though not in the scope of their discography). I’ll always associate this song with “Safe and Sound” by Capital Cities (I might be messing up the timeline but they were big around the same time, right?) due to the similar lyrical themes and musical structures and that song just walks all over this one with six inch heels.

Beyoncé - Crazy In Love (feat. Jay-Z): 8.7 When I did my tragically ignored [Playlist for the End of the World thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/popheads/comments/gwni9a/a_playlist_for_the_end_of_the_world_what_would/) and asked people what songs they would save if humanity was about to be destroyed, like three different people said this song because it’s just that damn good. It loses some points for me because the go-go influenced production (hi Amerie) and some of the lyrics are very clearly dated, but you can’t keep a good song down! I also love the version from the *Fifty Shades* films, it’s always cool when a song can work equally well as both an uptempo dance jam and a searing ballad.

Bleachers - Don't Take The Money: 7.9 Jack Antonoff looks so punchable and I wish I could hate this but it’s actually pretty good. I get what Jack Antonoff means when he says he wants a female voice though, the whole time I was listening to this I was like “Betty Who would murder this track.”

Calvin Harris - Slide (feat. Frank Ocean & Migos): 9 Back in 2017 when this came out (what a year) I remember everyone absolutely lost their minds over it and everyone was BEGGING Calvin Harris to make it a single, and somehow despite all that buzz I never actually listened to it? I should have though because this is great! There’s such a specific mood here, the sort of “summer bummer / too cool to sound enthusiastic” thing that every autotuned hip-pop-rap boy chases but can’t quite manage to nail like these guys did. This song just melts all over your brain.

Carole King - I Feel The Earth Move: 10 Gave this my eleven when we rated it the first time around and while it won’t be getting it this time, I think it was a worthy recipient; the cherry on top of one of the best albums ever recorded. I love the way the piano almost sounds likes an earthquake, as if the music is conjuring up the feeling of the earth shaking beneath her feet.

Caroline Polachek - So Hot You're Hurting My Feelings: 8.5 I gave this my eleven when we rated it but time has kinda dulled the shine on it, it’s still good but I find myself visiting it (and Caroline in general) pretty infrequently. It’s fun to see an artist have such a strong sense of humor while still taking their music seriously and the bridge is iconic but I have to be in a really specific mood for this kind of music.

Doja Cat - Boss Bitch: 7 Love the maniacal energy and all of the quotable lines but when you stack this up against everything else in the rate… eh.

Donny Osmond - I'll Make A Man Out of You: 6 I loved this song so much as a kid but as I’ve matured it’s just started to sound more obnoxious than anything else. I dunno, maybe one too many overzealous Disney loving theatre kids have ruined this with their spontaneous singalongs.

Estelle - American Boy (feat. Kanye West): 11 One of my favorite memories from college was being at my friend’s birthday party (we were housemates so it was in my house) and like an hour into this party, when everyone was buzzed enough to be happy but not drunk enough to be messy, this song came on. EVERYONE in the party absolutely lost their minds and everybody knew all the words and they sang along to it together, I don’t think I’ve ever seen such pure joy radiating off of a group of people. This song is timeless and basically flawless, I’d love to see it win another rate. Also I’ve become more and more of an Estelle fan with time, I think she’s a class act with a fantastic discography that goes heavily underrated by music fans and I’d encourage everybody to dig into the album this came from and the followup because they’re both great.

Evanescence - Bring Me To Life: 8 I lost my mind because I was like “oh my god it’s the song from [that Bionicles commercial](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaLX6pRtM8I)” and it turns out that’s a completely different song but this song is still good. This basically defined an entire genre, if not an entire subculture, and it’s an important artifact of the ‘00s. Also the shitpost better be the Goofy version.

FKA twigs - Cellophane: 10 I don’t even want this to win but giving it less than a ten just feels wrong, this is just a masterpiece on every level

Girls' Generation - Genie: 5 To this day I’m confused that this was the winner of that rate, there were SO many good songs in it and this is so “meh.” That said the “I’m genie for you boy” line is annoyingly catchy, I find myself saying it a lot.

Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive: 7 This is iconic and I would say that I like it but I don’t know, it’s one of those songs where the more I dig into the genre that spawned it the more the shine wears off for me. Like when this is the only disco song you know it’ll make you lose your mind but once you actually listen to some Diana Ross and Donna Summer it just kinda becomes another hit on the list. I’m also still kinda bothered by the tempo of this song because you can’t quite dance to it but it’s not a ballad so I’m unsure how my body is supposed to respond.

Hanne Mjøen - Strangers: 7.5 I was like “what rate did this win” and so I looked it up and it was Worldvision and I was a participant in that. Oops. So of the songs we rated I do NOT remember this one but it isn’t bad! It’s got a nice build to it and it really justifies its run time, though I do wish it got the point a little faster.

Janelle Monáe - Make Me Feel: 9 Still thinking about how *Antebellum (2020)* made me feel, which was frustrated.

Justin Timberlake - Mirrors: 3 Okay so now I finally have a name and a face to put to that song that I heard on the radio all the time as a kid that I hated. Cool. This is one of those songs where I think I’d like it if it were sung by, like, Leona Lewis or someone, but I just don’t think that Justin has the voice to pull this off. He sounds whiny and the tinny production doesn’t help, plus this does not need to be anywhere near as long as it is.

Kate Bush - Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God): 7 So now I finally have context for all of the memes my Kate Bush loving mutuals post on tumblr, great! This is a cool idea for a song and it sounds pretty but I wish it had more of a build/climax, for a song about running up a hill it’s pretty flat. Maybe that’s the point and I’m just stupid though.

Katy Perry - Hot N Cold: 8.5 *One of the Boys* is probably the Katy album I listen to the most but I low-key skip this one most of the time, it feels painfully dated. Although it was ahead of its time on the whole ‘80s revival thing its take on the sound was kinda rudimentary and the language/casual misogyny didn’t age well at all, but it’s still kinda a banger.

Kesha - C'Mon: 10 One of the first pop songs I ever really fell in LOVE with and it still holds a special place in my heart to this day. I think we’ve all had one or two great nights out with our friends where we were just carefree and happy and even the most mundane things felt like part of some grand adventure just because you were all doing it together and this song really captures that. I think a big part of what made her connect with her audience so well is that she makes a night out with your friends sound like the most important thing in the universe; she treats all of the stupid little details with such reverence that you can’t help but feel nostalgic for all the silly little moments from your life that, with the context Kesha provides, might have actually been magic all along.

Lady Gaga - Poker Face: 7 Throwback to me hearing this on the radio as a kid and thinking Lady Gaga was black. I have nostalgia for this song because I did really like it as a kid but everything about Gaga’s discography afterwards just makes it sound so cheap and thin. Like I can’t go back to this after *Born This Way* and *ARTPOP* showed us Gaga’s true potential.

Lady Gaga - The Edge of Glory: 10 I don’t even need to say anything, if you have ears you know this song is good.

Lana Del Rey - Young And Beautiful: 8.5 Was really into this song back in college but maybe I overplayed it because I’m kinda over it. I love the drama of it though, Lana’s sound feels at home on soundtracks and I hope she keeps making this work a priority because it’s good for her. Also [the situation with this song not being nominated for the Oscars was very interesting and actually taught me a lot about the failures of the Academy.](https://time.com/11728/lana-del-rey-young-and-beautiful-oscar-snub/)

Little Mix - Touch: 10 Oh gosh, I feel like I keep saying “this is one of the first pop songs I really fell in love with” in this rate but it’s true, this is such a walk down memory lane. This is one of my few winning elevens so I went back and dug up my initial thoughts on it and here’s my favorite part: “When this song starts it’s like Leigh-Anne is slamming the door open and grabbing you by the throat and then the girls just take turns throwing you around the room, and you love every second of it. The lyrics are sexy and fun, the energy is overflowing, and that legendary chorus over that speaker pounding bass is just *it*.”

Lizzo - Juice: 9 Just gonna tell this story again because I love it so much: I found Lizzo through YouTube after *Coconut Oil* dropped and I was so excited that when I went to rehearsal for the show I was in that night I pulled out my headphones, put them in my friend’s ears, and was like “you have to listen to this” and then played “Good As Hell” and her jaw literally dropped and she looked at me and she said, and I quote, “who is this goddess?” I was so thrilled when “Juice” came out and it got such a positive reception because I was like “this is it, this is the moment she breaks through!” It wasn’t, of course, that moment came later, but it was the moment that the TRUE pop fans finally hopped on the Lizzo train and it’s been such a thrill ride since.

Lorde - Supercut: 10 It’s been memed to death at this point but *Melodrama* is a genuinely great album and this is by far my favorite song. It’s such a brilliant climax to the arc of the album, we’ve seen her replay this broken relationship all night and now comes the moment of clarity when she finally confronts what she’s been doing and as the memories scroll past she finally overcomes/accepts everything for what it was and this frees her to move forwards into “Perfect Places.” I have fond memories of riding my bike around the city at night after my first breakup and blasting this song. Actually… are those fond? It’s a bop regardless.

Mariah Carey - A No No: 9 I love this song but I kinda ruined it for myself by listening to [the Shawni remix](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAl7ktjKviU) so much because now the song feels incomplete without her, kinda like Nicki Minaj on “Up Out My Face.” Still a good song but I know what it’s like when it sounds GREAT.

Mariah Carey - All I Want For Christmas Is You: 10

Mariah Carey - We Belong Together: 8 This is good but honestly it falls somewhere in the middle of the tiers of Mariah’s hits, she has many more songs that are better than this. Still, all Lambs owe this song special reverence for being the thing that more or less saved Mariah’s career/reputation so instead I’ll just say WE BELONG TOGETHERRRRRRRRRR~~~~~~~~~

Marina - Froot: 10 I liked this one when we initially rated it but as time has gone on I’ve come to REALLY like it! The way she combines themes of youth, time, beauty, and consumption, implying that her sexuality and her appeal are inextricably linked to time and that she’ll rot if someone doesn’t claim her but to claim her is to consume her and leave her broken regardless, and then to play these ideas out against a relentlessly cheerful and almost nauseatingly sweet musical backdrop… it’s very interesting and it always gets the wheels in my head turning.

Mitski - Your Best American Girl: 8.5 As an Asian person I love that Mitski wrote this but I was raised by my white father so I can’t say that I especially relate. Still, this song was a seismic shift in the music world and I hope Mitski’s star just burns brighter and brighter.

Niall Horan - On The Loose: 7 Niall winning the 1D solos rate was a pleasant surprise and I think he deserved it but when you stack this song against everything else here… Day 1? He’s just gotten hotter and hotter though (…musically… …of course…) and I hope we rate *Heartbreak Weather* at some point.

Nintendo - Mii Channel Theme: 10 This is an unironic ten. I’ve always absolutely adored the aesthetic of the Wii/Mii era, the imagery of all of these polygonal people and places just rising out of the sterile white void fascinates me in a way I can’t really explain, I had several of the generic Wii games like Wii Sports Resort or Wii Play and I would spend hours poking around in them intentionally ignoring the gameplay and exploring as much of the edges of these worlds as I could, hoping to uncover some kind of secret I never did find. The unique “elevator music for the entire universe” sound of the Mii theme is a huge part of this appeal, despite being glorified muzak it’s instantly distinctive (like, can you think of any actual music that really sounds like this?) and memorable and it sets the tone perfectly. I’m so pleased it’s gotten a second life as a piece of meme music so it can live beyond the now tragically discontinued Wii.

OutKast - Hey Ya!: 6.5 Objectively this song is good but also it gives me an anxiety attack.

Paramore - Brick By Boring Brick: 4 this won something?

Paramore - Still Into You: 6.5 I think I am still a bit scared of the rock aspects of this song that keep me and I’m not usually a huge fan of acoustic covers of songs but the acoustic version of this song that Ashley Tisdale did with her husband really elevated the song for me and helped me understand the lyrics/bones of the song a bit more so I would say that I like it a bit.

Red Velvet - Russian Roulette: 10 I’m forever obsessed with this song. The icy beats, the cutesy but detached vocals, the intriguing interplay of innocence with violence, this straddles the line between mainstream appeal and absolute weirdness so perfectly and it’s exactly what we need more of in pop music. It’s a shame that it’s looking like Red Velvet won’t be around for much longer to be the ones to bring it to us but you can pry their discography from my cold dead hands.

Robyn - Dancing On My Own: 10 One of the Pandora stations at my work has a dance remix of the Callum Hood version of this song in its rotation and I’m like wow… a dance version of “Dancing On My Own?” Imagine that. If only someone had thought to record that. :/ Anyways this is an eternal dance floor classic, sacred to the gays, the holy grail of poptimism, yada yada y’all know the drill at this point.

Selena Gomez & The Scene - Naturally: 8.5 Of Selena’s hits with The Scene this isn’t my favorite but it’s still a pretty good song. I don’t think anyone expected a teenybopper pop star like Selena Gomez to release such a simmering, surprisingly sophisticated electro pop song but she really did that! Also I still really want the dress that she wears in the video, I tried looking it up on a bunch of blogs and I can’t find it anywhere so it must have been custom and I’m forever sad. I don’t even wear dresses but she looks so cute in it.

Sigrid - Strangers: 5 Maybe it’s just that my tastes have shifted but this kind of sweeping synthpop has kinda started to sound empty to me, it’s like all of the noise and cavernous production is trying to compensate for soul that just isn’t there. It’s something that’s always kept me from connecting with Sigrid’s music in general, her songs are technically flawless but there’s just something missing, I don’t really get a lot of heart. Don’t come at me stans!

Taylor Swift - Enchanted: 5 This is possibly the rate winner I have the most negative feelings towards, there were SO MANY good songs in this rate that would have made for amazing winners and y’all selected… this? I can’t bring myself to hate it as a song because it is decently cute but like all of the songs on this album it’s just too damn long and not consistently interesting.

The 1975 - The Sound: 8 I love songs that are examples of themselves, if that makes sense? Like lyrically the song is about how they know what this person sounds like and so then we as the listeners can infer that the sounds we’re hearing in the instrumental break of this song are meant to evoke what they’re hearing and it’s pretty nice! This is one of the few songs in the rate I hadn’t heard before but I like it.

The Weeknd - I Feel It Coming (feat. Daft Punk): 9 Take that men who say women don’t orgasm. I had never paid much attention to this song before but after two listens I found myself singing along to this, it’s just so slick and sexy. He crushed this.

Tove Lo - Disco Tits: 10 The hook of this song just gets caught in my head at the most random times! There’s something special about this song to me, it always puts me in an altered state of mind somehow. It makes me feel… not quite *bestial* but it makes me feel unhinged, like I’m coming apart at the seams and my jaw is barely hanging on to the rest of me and all I can do is lumber my flesh vessel around to the music. Maybe I’m just a weirdo but it’s a unique sensation at least.

Tove Lo - Habits (Stay High): 8 It’s so weird to listen back to Tove’s early work because she’s trying to project the image that she’s some kind of vocal powerhouse (something a lot of artists do on their debuts) and I’m glad she found her more subdued sound later in her career. This is still a total banger though!

Whitney Houston - How Will I Know: 6 I’m grading on a curve here and if we’re being honest I don’t really enjoy this song compared to most of the songs here. It’s good, yes, but it’s not the Whitney song I reach for when I have an itch I need to scratch.

Years & Years - All For You: 8 I’m always going on and on about how this sub should support queer artists but at the same time I didn’t do this rate and I have no thought on this :skull:

Zedd - Clarity (feat. Foxes): 7 The drop of this song is so damn good but the rest of it is kinda empty?

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