12 oz Mouse script: S2E04_StarWarsVII

Episode 11: "Star Wars VII"
transcribed: sleep_maps


int. roostre's basement, fitz and skillet.

FITZ: there's enough guns down here to take out a town about.... well about this size.
SKILLET: *squeaking in excitement*
FITZ: radio.  clock radio.  and a map.  a map radio with a clock.  what does that mean?
SKILLET: *squeaks*
voice of roostre: "he's my homin dog.  got a sense of...radar and quasnit."

overhead door starts to shake.

FITZ: the music knows we're down here.

skillet runs over to a new door.  he presses the button and it opens to a ship bay.  int. shark car.

RBM: your car sucks... maybe if I throw money at it, it will start.

fitz looks in and sees a corndog rocketship.

FITZ: grab every gun. but leave those.
SKILLET: *squeaking in excitement*

skillet starts loading the guns into the corndog ship.  fitz lights up a cigarette, smokes nearly all of it, and throws it into the pile of bombs.  roostre's house blows up.  the corndog ship takes off.  ext. street.  shark's car slowly rolls down the street, sharkian nights plays in the background.  the car starts sputtering and smoking.  int. car.  shark tries to repeatedly start the car.

SHARK: come on baby, come on baby.  yeah.  come on baby.  crank it up.  oh come on baby.  why are you not doing it?
RBM: i think this piece overheated.
SHARK: i think you should shut up.
RBM: keep trying, maybe you'll get it this time.
SHARK: come on sweetheart *tries to start car again*
RBM: ha, oh look it didn't start again.
SHARK: come on baby. *tries again to start car*
RBM: your car sucks.  maybe if i throw money at it, it will start.
SHARK: yeah uh...are you a mechanic?  cuz i'm not.  but still shut up. *starts car again*
RBM: i should have expected this from your poor ass.
SHARK: i'm trying to start the car.  *rbm exits car* where are you going?

rbm gets out of car.  ext. street

RBM: to buy a harmonica... a very rich harmonica.
SHARK: so you're just gonna leave? not cool.
RBM: i just feel ever so inclined to buy a harmonica... made of gold... encrusted in diamonds... then dipped in gold... and rolled around in more diamonds.  it's deadly to vampires you know?  or is it werewolves?  i forget which, they're both poor.
SHARK: you are not helping this situation. *starts car again, sputters and smokes

int. harmonica shop rbm looks at harmonicas, all the same.  int. shark's car

SHARK: alright okay, this is the one, this is the one.  50th times a charm.  *tries again*  would you please start car?

int. harmonica shop

RBM: look at all those harmonicas. hmm. hmm

int. shark's car

SHARK: *starting car again*.  come on, i know you want to.  start for me, *breathes in* i'm touching your little button *tries to start car again, sputters then dies.*

int. harmonica shop

RBM: I equate harmonicas to the blues.... and the blues to the poor, but I still want one.

ext. street, car fails to start again.  int. harmonica shop again.  rbm looks up at harmonicas.

RBM: i had no idea there would be this many harmonicas.

int. shark's car

SHARK: come on, come on.  i know you want to.  *car repeatedly turns over* for the love of me turn on.  *closes eyes*.  alright, now okay, now we're close.  i can feel that.  this is it.  this is the one.  you barely piece of suckass car.

int. harmonica shop

RBM: i could afford to buy all these, but i just want one.  the best one.

int. shark's car

SHARK: please start.  you're making a fool of me.  i don't even know what i'm hearing.

int. harmonica shop

RBM: i don't even know how to play a harmonica.... but I want one

ext street, shark's car sits there.  lightning strikes, then rain begins to fall.  int. harmonica shop, rbm just stares towards camera.  int. shark's car, rain falls in.

SHARK: ah, okay, i'm just gonna barely touch the key, no no, not yet.  just ease into it.  just lightly rubbing the key with my fin.  i'm just gonna barely touch the key, you won't even know i'm doing it.  just lightly caressing the key, and start!  *tries again, car keep sputtering*  come on, why are you not doing it?  come on.  come on.  perfect, that's great.

ext street. rbm returns to car.

RBM: oh look, i'm back.
SHARK: did you buy a harmonica?
RBM: did you get the car started?
SHARK: did you get your harmonica started?

lightning strikes, then more rain falls.

end

post credits: roostre's house is smoking.