Our story begins with a group of adventurers living in the medieval kingdom of Larion. The kingdom is filled with small villages and thatched cottages and has been relatively peaceful until now. The adventurers are on a quest to find the magical staff of Zalos. They walk through the forest and notice a band of mountain dwarves. The dwarves are friendly and offer them food and drink. Then one of the dwarves turns to them and says, "The king desires your presence, if you would come with me."
Following the dwarf out of the gathering they notice a short but heavy set man sitting on a throne.
Elven assassins appear from the shadows.
The dwarves instantly charge them. The adventurers draw their weapons and do likewise.
"Who sent you?" the king asks in a raspy voice.
"No one."

> Serena says "Yo homies."
"Sorry, but I don't know you and even if I did I wouldn't want to fight you."
"You will pay for your insolence. I'll kill you and every man here and take the kingdom."

> Mickey D. says "burger delivery"
"Hold your horses King, I'm sure there's another way to deal with this." You say.
"Seconding that." Third speaker joins the conversation.

> Sir Lancelot says "Brothers, to arms!"
The assassins suddenly disappear.
"Guess that answers one of my questions." You say.
"How many of you are there?" the king asks.
"22, counting the magician.

> Serena says "We got burgers yo."
"Wise move." The king says, "We have enough problems keeping these bearded buffoons in line without having to worry about a damn McDonald's as well."
"Alright, Alright, alright!""Oh yeah, those." The king says.

> Mickey D. says "Hey King, did you want fries with that?"
"This will be settled tonight. Prepare the jails." The king orders, "I'll get my Blades to deal with this."
"Alright, alright!
The elves shoot their daggers at the dwarves, but most miss because of the surprise. The dwarves swing wildly with their axes, and some elves attempt to stab them, but they mostly miss as well.

> Mickey D. stab king with spatula.
You attempt to stab the king with the spatula, but miss due to the surprise.
You and Second speaker duck when you see the dwarves begin to charge your direction.

> Serena says "That'll be twenty dollars and 35 cents plus tip."
You dodge the oncoming axe of a dwarf and grab his hand stopping him in his tracks. You then pull the dwarf towards you and head-butt him. He falls to the ground.

> Sir Lancelot stabs the Dwarven King through the chest with his greatsword.
You dodge the swing of a battle-axe, but cannot get out of the way in time and the blade nicks your side.
The King is then stabbed through the chest by Sir Lancelot.
"Shit!" you yell and charge Sir Lancelot.
You grab his arm and attempt to pull him off, but he is too strong.

> Serena cast a wall of flame to engulf all of the dwarves.
Fifty dwarven heads are seen rolling in the street as the flames and smoke clears. The king is still alive, but severely wounded. He pleads with you to spare him his remaining dwarven brethren.

> Mickey D. steal the gold.
"Alright, alright! Shit." You say grabbing the bags of gold.
"Alright, Alright!"
You leave the king and run away with the bags of gold.

> El Presidente farts.
"I'll get you yet, bastards." The king says.
"King, we need to go." You say picking him up.
"I'll get you, batwings! Mark my words!"

> Sir Lancelot says "Die, manlet! You don't belong in this world!"
Second speaker is suddenly kicked in the shin by a dwarf. He then attempts to roll away from the dwarves holding him at bay with his axe.
You open the door to the El Alfa.

> Serena says "No mercy."
"Alright, Alright!" You yell and step on the gas.
The car sputters and groans as you try to drive it.
"Come on!"
The car sputters and dies.
Dwarves rush to the car, and one of them is about to break the window before another dwarf stops him. You put the car in reverse, but then the car stops suddenly. You smash your head into the dashboard in frustration.

> Mickey D. says "bros we need to escape to the McChopper"

"Alright you meat shields let's do this"
You open the door and motion for the king to get out. He does so slowly. The elves leave the car behind and surround the dwarven warriors.
An enormous ogre emerges from a side street and begins to smash a drum. The other onlooking dwarves cheer him on.
"Time to dance." You say and drop the king.
You motion for the elves to surround the king.

> Serena says "What the fuck is an El Aifa, Sir Lancelot?"
You grab the king's arm.
"Your guards can't protect you, King! Now come with me, or else I'll kill you right here!"
El Aifa repentinamente aparece en la escena, and he is looking at the elves.
"Por favor, no lo hagáis. Mi vida no vale nada."

> Sir Lancelot kill the spic.
You raise your sword and swing. The sword cleaves through El Aifa's head, and he falls to the ground. The other onlookers are either horrified or disgusted by what just happened.
"Look out!"

> Serena says "I don't speak Italian."
The king is successfully kidnapped as the elves surround him and his guards.
You grab your gun, but are stopped by a dwarf with an axe to your head.

> Mickey D. throw pocket salt into the King. Everyone knows the weakness to pointy-eared manlets is sodium.


> El Presidente says "ay caramba"
The king is shaking and crying as you kneel down to him.The dwarves cheer as the king begins to cry and squirm.

> El Presidente anally rapes the king.

Alleluya santa maria madre de dios

> Serena says "What's with the italian dwarves?"
The king begins to scream in pain as his face is pulled into the ass of an "ogre". The king is left in a coma due to the severe brain trauma. por favor salvame.
You grab the king's anal beads and begin violently twisting them. The king screams in excruciating pain as blood begins to pour from his ass.
"Ay! Ay! Ay!"
The dwarves hold the king down as a dwarf holds a burning torch to his face.
"Ahhh!" the king screams as the flesh on his face begins to burn.

> Mickey D. kick the King's royal nuts.

"You'll never take us alive!"
"Your King is a fucking pussy!"
The two elves attempt to run away, but are shot in the back by dwarven snipers.

> Sir Lancelot says "Time for a fucking crusade"
You motion to your men to fire upon the crowd, but the elves dodge. One of them even throws a knife into one of your men before running away.
The dwarven armies

> Mickey D. make burgers from the king's flesh.
 begin to cheer as they see the chaos.
"Fuck this. Let's kill these fuckers." You say.
You motion to have all of your men fire upon the fleeing elves, but you are too slow.The dwarves hold the king down while a human fills a bun with the king's flesh.
"Eat up guys, we need to make the trek back to our campsite soon."

> Mickey D. says "delicious"
The journey back to the campsite is filled with laughs and stories. The meat of the king was surprisingly delicious. After several hours you finally arrive at the campsite.

> Serena says "Yo, lemme get some of those."
The group stops and you approach the corpses of the elves, which have been stripped clean. You begin to strip and search one of them for good measure.
"Well, at least they're easy on the eyes."
The king is dead and his guards have already been eaten, so you make your own way back to your campsite. You take time for a little sexual activity before getting ready for sleep.

> Serena says "OH YES!"
You find a secluded spot and begin performing fellatio on the king's corpse. What you weren't expecting is to have him suddenly begin breathing heavily, and start convulsing.

> Mickey D. says "hey what the fuck Serena"
He begins to shudder as he starts to fart, breaking your concentration.

> Serena says "I'M GONNA GIVE YOU THE RIDE OF YOUR LIFE KING!"
Your eyes widen as you stare at the king's corpse, still shivering and shaking.
"Fuck!" You say as you watch the fucked up scene unfold before your eyes.
The king suddenly begins vomiting up blood.

> Sir Lancelot says "The king has turned into an undead!"
The vomit is replaced by black blood as the king continues to shudder. You notice his eyes begin to bulge and rot and shrivel.
Mickey cannot believe what he is witnessing
Suddenly, Hitler walks in
The lich king.
"Mon Dieu! Mon Dieu!"
With a final burst of energy the king's corpse splits in half and falls over. It was replaced by an abomination. and gives you a high-five.
"Hey man, didn't expect to see you here. Thought you were in the next town over torturing some witches or something." looks at you and lets out a horrible shriek, causing your bones to shatter.
"FUCK!" You say as you begin to feel the pain of your spine shattering.
"Oh shit what's going on!"

> Serena says "OH SHIT HITLER!"
"He's an undead! And far more powerful than any of us."
You attempt to get up, but find yourself incapable of movement.
"Ah, c'est la vie."
Yog-sothoth appears and begins speaking in a language you do not understand.
"C'est l'endroit ou je veux que ça se termine."

> Mickey D. realize Serena is pregnant. Don't worry Mickey D. checked.
"Nah, it's cool Sere. You're fine baby."
You look up at the sky as you die, and hope that you get to go to a better place.

> Serena says "Rest in piece."
Thank you for reading

> Sir Lancelot beheads Hitler.
The world ends, and we win.

> Serena says "I quite enjoyed that."
You are carried away to your new life.

> Mickey D. says "I just wanted to make burgers man"
THE END

> Serena says "KIno"
Well, I hope you enjoyed it. Please remember to rate and comment!

> Sir Lancelot says "damn"
Thanks for reading!

> Sir Lancelot leaves.


> Mickey D. says "fucking LEL, story of the year"
"I just wanted to make some damn burgers"

> Serena says "top fucking kek"
"This story of the year should be required reading in every high school English class"
"I just wanted to make some damn burgers"
Please rate and comment!
Like and subscribe if you enjoyed the story!
The gang is then transported into the 21st century and find themselves in an IKEA store.
"Man, I still can't get my head around this." You say as you look at all the different pieces of furniture.
"I guess we should start building our new house?" Charlie says.

> Mickey D. says "who the fuck's Charlie"
"You don't know who Charlie is?" You ask.
"No...should I?"
"He's your best mate from back home."
"Oh, right.