utena ep 5 analysis response

the thing about the ending to episode 5 is that it shows that the feeling miki was looking for, that was in him all along. it is his own feeling of being with someone, of having that shining thing in his life, that lets him play the sunlit garden the way he remembers it.

i don't think he's going to stop being so fucked until he realizes this, that it's in himself all along. until then, he'll just continue to project that ideal onto other people, and pursue them in toxic and harmful ways.