tazz eh

CCU: Alrighty then.
CCU: With H|M off...
CCU: Time to decide who gets the prize.
CCU: Monitor attack from ire; Numberwang from Crystal; the Dirt block from the new guy; Star's mechanically-ordained counterattack damage; Piono's straight-up barrage; or some other attack | forgot about!
CCU: |t's one of those five, |'ll be honest.
CAC: "roll a d5"
CAC: "then subtract 4 from the result, with a lower limit of 1"
CAC: "i'm 1"
CCU: Piono's just a freaking OP overdose, so no.
CCU: He's out easy.
CCU: So that's 4.
CAC: But yeah, it'll be a hard decision.
CCU: Crystal would have easily won this if his post didn't go overboard on length.
CAC: Oh, we're using Length rules now?
CCU: Ξrr.
CCU: to a degre.
CCU: *Degree.
CCU: |'d prefer for people to not think length = creativity.
CCU: ΞRgo the Dirt Block still actually being in the running despite this being the final four.
CAC: canon changed reality slightly!
CCU: Granted, long attacks earn points for effort but |'m going to be looking for the difference between creativity and just hitting a guy really really hard.
CCU: ...THRΞΞ RΞMA|N...
CCU: ...MAKΞ THAT TWO...
?GG: I almost feel lıke ıt'd be unfaır to count star
?GG: sınce he wasn't even tryıng to get ıt
CCU: ...W|NNΞR FOUND.
?GG: oh?
CCU: Yep.
?GG: I see.
CCU: |'m going to put that up before ANYTH|NG else.
CAC: *drum roll reserved for post*
CCU: No damage tallys or jack.
?GG: and the wınrar ıs.......
CCU: PARTDOP.
CCU: Can't evne fulldop.
CCU: Just crossed Star out of the equation.
CCP: the ωinrαr is eχtrαcting α file
?GG: ha
CCP: pleαse ωαit for eχtrαction to finish
?GG: I mean ıf I was guessıng based on what I thınk I know of you...
?GG: I'd guess ıt to be jyanpu.
?GG: ınterestıngly they don't even state that the dırt block does hıt uzı, they ımply ıt's headed ın theır dırectıon
CCU: Mph.
CCU: |'m keeping my hand quiet.
CAC: *dirt impacts*
CAC: "150 damage!"
?GG: ha
CAC: "PLOT TWIST: Jyanpu is actually an Omega+, too"
CCP: inβ4 uzi hαs 150 αrmor
CAC: "Somehow."
?GG: "one damage due to armor"
CAC: dopdone
CCU: PARTDOP.
CCU: |re is out, and so is Piono.
CCU: | presume more salt incoming?
CAC: *refreshes furiously*
CAC: yep
CCU: | already beat you there.
CAC: salt crit please
CCU: Hyper-Ultra-Super-Megagod of Absolute Saltue.
CCU: | salute you for your absolute saltiness that goes well beyond infinity.
CCU: FY|.
CCU: These don't account for when they were crossed out of the equation.
?GG: anyways my predıctıon stands
?GG: want to bet on ıt, ıre?
CAC: eventually i'll probably end up piercing the heavens and somehow destroy the world
CAC: with my new found salt
CAC: SPEAKING OF DESTROYING THE WORLD
CAC: I THINK I KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THE BOOST RINGS.
CCP: ire pleαse stop spαmming sαlt the lαst time you sαlted the pz side tooκ 27000 dαmαge
CCU: H|S SALT |S THΞ SALT THAT P|ΞRCΞS THΞ HΞAVΞNS
?GG: who the hell do you thınk he ıs
CCP: oκ, there is only one solution too this sαlt issue
CAC: good, i'm glad that we're all quoting that now.
CCU: TOO TH|S
CCP: convert sαlt.eχe into sαlt.dog
CCU: YOU FOOL DON'T DO |T
CCU: THAT SHΞΞR AMOUNT OF .DOG W|LL K|LL US ALL
CCP: muαhαhαhhαhαhα
CCU: NOAKDPO|UA|UOYV|UADFY|UPAF|UOYA|UOYA|UOFY
CCP: MUAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH
?GG: ...
?GG: ıf you dog ı'm akıckıng you from memo
?GG: 
CAC: Can I summon 2 200k totally harmless [???] Boost Rings?
CCW ceased responding to memo.
CCP: Also i αm ticκ off thαt cαnon used α spice αttαcκs thαts my joβ he is disrupthing the ωαr βetωeen spice αnd sαlt
CCP: irecreeper, our sαlt/spice rivαlly is legit rite???????? 
CAC: yesy
?GG: ha
CCP: conclusion:
CCP: cαnon must die
?GG: meanwhıle battlefury has already lost the cat/dog fıght
?GG: I wnı
CCP: ωhαts α ωni
?GG: and sınce ı'm on ıre's sıde that means that he wnıs
?GG: agaın
?GG: 
CCP: Enjoy your ωni i suppose.
CAC: [???] Wni
?GG: ıt's a cag card
?GG: "ı wnı agaın"
CAC: HP: 100,000
CCP: Superchαrged ωith α fusion of cαt αnd dog 
?GG: ıt's 99% cat
CCU: OH GOAT NO
CAC: lAl oWrds usMt eB nAmgraas
CCU: |T'S CATDOG
?GG: ha
CCP: Cαtdog!
CCU: HALF CAT
CCU: HALF DOG
CCU: ALL
CCU: SOMΞTH|NG
CCU: ΞVΞN WORSΞ THAN BΞFORΞ
CCP: ALL MUMBLING ABAMINATION!
CCU: 
CCU: Hrm, i'll admit.
CCU: Between the final two |'m actually still kind of stuck.
CCP: Why don't you flip α coin 
CAC: "I should make a leveling system that scales solely on how many spoils i've missed."
CCP: *cue me steαling αll of ire's rightful spoils*
CAC: "100k bonus damage a hit!"
CCP: *uses α 50 chαrge αnd α pocκet timeline to roll 50 pαrαdoχ dices tαrgeted αt irecreepeer*
CAC ceased responding to memo.
CURRENT anotherCreeper [CAC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAC: Have you made your decision yet?
?GG: ı'm tellıng you man
CCU: PARTDOP.
CCU: The winner is Jyanpu!
?GG: yyyyup
?GG: wow
CCP: LE GASP
?GG: what a surprıse
CCU: | figure that giving the newcomer a spoil might make him feel like he'll stick.
CAC: w h o a
?GG: thıs wasn't predıctable
?GG: at all
CCU: Plus, on a re-read, | didn't feel like Crystal actually really had the kick | was looking for.
?GG: also has anyone seen topazıan
?GG: cough
CAC: "cool, I can salt my salt by a power of 3"
CCU: | felt |re's was too bashy.
CCU: Ohterwise the creepy factor might have done it.
CCU: RΞally it was a tight one between you fhree, tigher than you know.
CAC: rip me
CAC: "time to write a fifty-page salt essay to obliterate Chara despite Chara being unable to be killed"
?GG: ha
CCU: Really though, it probably would have been either Crys or you if it wasn't for the fact that Jyanpu was a total new guy.
?GG: no don't pls
?GG: and yeah that's what I fıgured
?GG: :/
CCU: | want NΞW people interested.
CAC: but yeah, can I summon 2 200k HP Boost Rings? They're [???] aligned, and totes harmless.
CAC: with the Boost Ring charge.
CCU: ...
CAC: They won't be doing anything. For a long time.
CCU: |'d say that if they're sharing the same HP bar than yes.
CCU: ...Oh.
CCU: OK then.
CCP: inβ4 the 4 hαs 44,444 hp, or 4^4
CCU: Go ahead with that.
CCU: Full HP as intended.
CCU: 200K each.
CCP: It divides αttαcκs βy four.
CCU: |'m retiring from dopping today, gnight.
CCU: LΞ VAN|SH!!!
CCU ceased responding to memo.
CCP: I see cαnon is αlso here.
CAC ceased responding to memo.
?GG: anyways ı'm just :/ about that
CCP: ωhelp, i hαve to edit my αttαcκ to smαsh in cαnons fαce MOAR
CCP: infuse her ωith tons of sαlt to nullify her spice poωers
?GG: "smash ın the newb"
?GG: "ı'm bıtter"
CCP: perhαps convert her soul into α .dog file
?GG: even though I shouldn't really be
?GG: but ugh
?GG: look there are good reasons to do thıs shıt but ıf ıt
CCP: Well, i suppose the spoil is nice, βut 2 dαmαge is κindα meh
?GG: 's a contest you don't fuckıng gıve the trophy to someone who meandered onto stage
?GG: wıth a rock
?GG: that's lıke patrıck wınnıng the fuckıng snaıl race
CCP: Personαlly, i thinκ the contest should hαve just mαde sure the βest αttαcκ hit αnd deαlt the most dαmαge.
CCP: The other αttαcκs αctuαlly strong enough to hit βut not to ωin should hαve just deαlt 1 or so dαmαge
CCP: αs compensαtion