Johnny English Strikes Again

1
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,126
Oh, bollocks.

2
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:36,797
We've got a problem.

3
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,467
A cyber attack?
Yes, Prime Minister.

4
00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:42,471
Took me two bottles of wine

5
00:01:42,561 --> 00:01:45,394
and half a packet of sleeping
pills to finally nod off.

6
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:50,016
And you wake me because some fat-fingered
hacker's pinched your PIN number?

7
00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:51,855
Well, it's a little more serious
than that, Prime Minister.

8
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,856
Hmm?
The identities of every one

9
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,938
of our serving agents have been exposed.

10
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:57,985
What?

11
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,109
Who's doing this?
We're not sure, ma'am.

12
00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:03,033
So one week before I host
my first G12 Summit,

13
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,330
Britain's entire security apparatus
has been taken down

14
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:06,824
and you know absolutely nothing?

15
00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:09,660
That does pretty much sums up
the situation, ma'am, yes.

16
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:11,662
Well, you better get someone on
it and find me some answers!

17
00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:13,964
Yes, but that's the problem.
We don't have any agents left.

18
00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,086
They've all been outed.

19
00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:17,585
So bring back an old one!

20
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:35,486
All units, this is Juliet Echo.
Stand by for target coordinates.

21
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:41,985
Target acquired.
Repeat, target acquired.

22
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,801
Now then, what have we here'?

23
00:03:05,102 --> 00:03:06,217
Sorry, sir.

24
00:03:06,395 --> 00:03:07,977
Never mind, Baggaley.

25
00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:11,101
Your concealment and camouflage
work is definitely improving.

26
00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:12,314
Thank you, sir.

27
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:13,516
Come on.

28
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,521
You, too, lbadulla.

29
00:03:15,654 --> 00:03:18,817
Excellent. That is
a first-class man-trap.

30
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,365
Six house points.
Yes!

31
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,327
Right, let's get back
to school before matron

32
00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:26,654
notices you're missing.

33
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:29,410
And don't worry, there aren't
any more booby traps.

34
00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:34,586
Apart from this one, of course.

35
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:50,811
Mr. English?

36
00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:52,596
We haven't seen him, sir.

37
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,181
Huh.

38
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:58,235
And that's camouflage.

39
00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,152
Hmm.

40
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:07,486
And go.

41
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:09,663
And go.

42
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:11,865
And go.

43
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,998
The welfare of your children
is our paramount concern.

44
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,371
They're never exposed
to any unnecessary risk,

45
00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:18,877
I assure you.

46
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:33,889
I think that's an "F" for your bomb
disposal coursework, Hattersley.

47
00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:37,019
"You're looking particularly
beautiful tonight."

48
00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:40,565
You're looking
particularly beautiful tonight.

49
00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:41,854
<i>Ching!'</i>

50
00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:43,439
Ching!

51
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:48,072
Have a good half-term, sir!
Thank you.

52
00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:43,290
Are you seriously telling me
this is all we've got?

53
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:44,757
Most of them are either dead,

54
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:47,678
having hip operations or
recovering from prostate surgery.

55
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:50,756
<i>Okay.</i>

56
00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:55,136
Before your briefing, we'll need you
to re-sign the Official Secrets Act.

57
00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:56,433
Thank you.

58
00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:57,850
Thank you.

59
00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:58,931
Thank you.

60
00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:00,932
Thank you very much.

61
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,602
Any of you
gentlemen remember this?

62
00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:07,610
Ooh, the Mont Blanc Blaster. Haven't
seen one of those for years.

63
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:12,533
Take the cap off and, if memory serves,
you've 20 seconds to replace it

64
00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:15,497
or it detonates with the force
of a stun grenade.

65
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,310
Thank you.

66
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:42,350
Teas on the left, gentlemen.

67
00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:44,442
And coffees on the right.

68
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:45,944
Excellent.

69
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:49,030
Oh, damn it, I forgot my pills.

70
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,316
Here, have some of mine.

71
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,995
Scotch whisky, single malt?

72
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:56,955
Thank you very much.

73
00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:59,158
Coffee.
Oh.

74
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,493
Here, let me help you with that.

75
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:07,882
Tea?

76
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:16,138
Ooh, this one just needs
a little top-up of hot water.

77
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,226
I'll be right back.

78
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,347
Man's a divot
of the first order.

79
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,774
Someone should put him out of his misery.

80
00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:27,941
Along with
whoever furnished this room.

81
00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:35,198
Oh!

82
00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:39,490
Ah, good morning.
Sorry to keep you.

83
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,202
Are the others here?

84
00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:44,745
Um...

85
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,001
Oh.

86
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:54,717
They, um... They nodded off.

87
00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:56,256
Right...

88
00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:58,805
And who are you exactly?

89
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,393
English.

90
00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:03,063
- Johnny English.
- Well...

91
00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:06,016
"English..."

92
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:08,818
You'll leave immediately.

93
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,987
My people will give you
the full briefing en route.

94
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:12,405
Oh, is there anything you need?

95
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:16,201
Yes, nerve gas nasal spray,
a type-four exoskeleton...

96
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,240
You should probably start a list.

97
00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:21,786
And a garroting watch, with a rubber
strap, not the steel bracelet

98
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:25,252
because the links get caught in
the little hairs on my wrist.

99
00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:27,670
Oh, and I'll also need a Bough.

100
00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:29,706
What's a Bough?

101
00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:32,084
Sir!

102
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:36,012
Wonderful to see you!

103
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:39,933
Yes, all right, Bough.
We're going on a mission, not a honeymoon.

104
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,768
Yes, of course, sir.

105
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:45,435
Ah. I think it's the pin of your
buckle, sir. It's caught on my jumper.

106
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,731
Yes, I can see what's wrong, Bough.

107
00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:50,064
If you go to your left
and I'll go to my right.

108
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:54,691
I'm sorry, no, if you go to
your right and I'll go to my left.

109
00:08:56,745 --> 00:09:00,283
No. If I go clockwise
and you go anti-clockwise...

110
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:02,739
Er, no, I think that's
making it worse, sir.

111
00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:05,246
Hmm. I'm surprised that didn't work.

112
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:13,671
Good morning, sir. I have your
agent activation pack here.

113
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,881
Department-issue smartphone.

114
00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:20,261
580-megapixel camera,
4.7-inch retina HD display.

115
00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:25,346
Hmm-hmm. Ingenious. And what
does it shoot? Poison darts?

116
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:29,691
It doesn't shoot anything.
It's a phone.

117
00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:32,189
There's a Twitter handle,
Instagram feed

118
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,271
and secure login for the
department Uber account.

119
00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:35,355
What's he on about, Bough?

120
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:37,566
I need a weapon.
Not a box of gobbledygook.

121
00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:40,118
I think, uh, what Agent English

122
00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:42,492
is getting at, sir,
is all this is highly trackable.

123
00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:46,159
But since we're dealing with a very
sophisticated, digital target,

124
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:50,837
we might be less visible if we took
a more analog, low-tech approach.

125
00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:53,590
Exactly.

126
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:56,342
I see.

127
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:58,674
Is there anything else
I can get you?

128
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,430
A gun.

129
00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:06,140
We don't really do guns anymore.

130
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:08,105
Just get him a gun.

131
00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:09,811
Right, a gun.

132
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:19,532
Right. Haven't actually done
one of these before.

133
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:22,819
"It is my obligation under section 14

134
00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:24,700
"of the Health and Safety
Directive to inform you

135
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:27,453
"that the equipment with which
you are about to be issued

136
00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:29,455
"can cause injury and bodily harm.

137
00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:36,000
"Furthermore, any agents with nut allergies

138
00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:37,209
"should be aware
that traces of cashew oil..."

139
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:38,634
Thank you.

140
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:42,677
Right' transport.

141
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,516
So, take any hybrid you want.

142
00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:05,654
I'll take this one.

143
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:08,953
Oh, don't be ridiculous, English.
This car is a relic.

144
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:11,831
Drinks petrol, leaks oil
and has no passive,

145
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:13,582
let alone active safety features.

146
00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:15,209
Do you know what else
it doesn't have, sir'?

147
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:18,042
Satellite navigation
or a single computer chip.

148
00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:21,379
Making it completely invisible
to a digital enemy.

149
00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:25,473
The equipment
Agent English requested, sir.

150
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:26,766
Thank you.

151
00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:29,682
Phone, Bough?
Yeah.

152
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:36,068
That hi-tech villain of yours
will never see us coming.

153
00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:55,420
Let's see
what they've given us.

154
00:11:56,132 --> 00:12:00,842
Exoskeleton, exploding cotton
buds, the old shoebox inflatable.

155
00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:02,135
Hmm.

156
00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:07,466
Ooh, what are these?
Instant Release Super High Energy Pills.

157
00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:11,804
Like sticking your fingers in an
electric socket. Highly recommended.

158
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:15,850
Right, so, the red ones must be
the Total Knockout Sleeping Pills.

159
00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:17,066
Correct.

160
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:19,440
Hmm. Probably worth labeling these.

161
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:20,565
On.

162
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:23,069
Look, sir.
Sweeties.

163
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,158
Ooh.

164
00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:27,444
Hang on a minute.

165
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,412
I always did love a jelly baby.

166
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:32,582
I wouldn't if I was you, Bough.
"Jelly" is short for gelignite.

167
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,376
One bite and it'll take
the top of your head off

168
00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:36,123
along with the roof of the car.

169
00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:38,455
So, what does this do?

170
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,583
It's a mixtape, Bough.

171
00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:48,677
- So, destination?
- South of France, sir.

172
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,759
That cyber attack
seems to have been launched

173
00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:53,311
from the Wi-Fi signal
of a hotel in Antibes.

174
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:41,355
Sir? Sir, I've just had
a fax through from HQ.

175
00:13:41,779 --> 00:13:44,897
Background checks on all the guests
that accessed the Wi-Fi network.

176
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:47,107
You see'? Who needs email?

177
00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:54,114
Um...

178
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,540
One name has raised
a red flag, sir.

179
00:13:57,337 --> 00:14:00,250
Sebastian Lynch, ex-Army
and Military Intelligence.

180
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:03,339
Now selling his services
to the highest bidder.

181
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:06,296
Where do we find him?
Directly ahead, sir.

182
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:11,181
He's got an 8:00 reservation
at the Cote de Roc restaurant.

183
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:24,987
The problem's going to be getting
close enough for a full surveillance, sir.

184
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:27,150
Not necessarily.

185
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:47,049
Oh, darling, I've just
gotta get this. Two seconds.

186
00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:51,972
Simple plan, two parts. You provide
the distraction, I'll get the phone.

187
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:54,390
Yes, sir.
And from now on,

188
00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:59,730
perhaps we
should sound like French waiters.

189
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,267
French waiters?

190
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:05,393
<i>Yees.</i>

191
00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:08,109
Go on.

192
00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:15,908
Are you finished now, Sebastian?

193
00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:18,698
Bread roll?

194
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,041
Yes, thank you.

195
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,377
Excellent choice, madame.

196
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,251
Good evening.

197
00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:27,424
How are you?

198
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:30,710
Bread roll, sir'?

199
00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:32,258
Yes. Thank you.

200
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:38,556
One second.

201
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:40,766
Excuse me, would you mind?

202
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:43,814
Oh, yes. Evening.

203
00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:45,483
Evening.

204
00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:01,165
Thank you.

205
00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:16,594
Where's my phone?

206
00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:19,634
That is your phone.

207
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:23,563
Ooh.

208
00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:29,227
Thank you.

209
00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:31,566
<i>Monsieur.</i>

210
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:36,030
The, uh, shell on my wife's lobster,
could you remove it, please?

211
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,408
<i>Yees.</i>

212
00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:42,119
Uh... Um...

213
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:43,537
Hmm.

214
00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:49,835
Let me crack it for you.

215
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:05,020
Ow!
Oh!

216
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:06,977
Ow!

217
00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:39,593
Hello?

218
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:44,974
Steve, I'll have to
call you back. Call you back.

219
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,473
Give me a sec. Hang on.

220
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,438
What is going on?

221
00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:56,986
Sebastian, don't get involved.

222
00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:01,660
Ah.

223
00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:08,334
- What is he doing?
- I don't know. He's a fool.

224
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,004
There we are.

225
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,465
<i>Voila.</i>

226
00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:24,092
Hmm. Bon appétit.

227
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:30,349
I will talk to the manager.
I will talk to the manager.

228
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,617
Textbook, Bough.

229
00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,915
Just holiday snaps, sir.

230
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,039
Wait a minute, this photo.

231
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:55,131
It was taken the same day our villain
accessed the Wi-Fi, and look.

232
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:57,758
Scarcely 50 feet from shore.

233
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:00,920
Whoever was on that yacht

234
00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:03,757
could easily have used
the hotel's Wi-Fi,

235
00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:07,014
sent that signal
and then just sailed away.

236
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:12,228
I think it's time
we paid the Dot Calm a visit.

237
00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:25,945
<i>Algorithms.</i>

238
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:28,247
<i>We are surrounded by them.</i>

239
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:30,496
<i>Algorithms run our lives,</i>

240
00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:35,046
<i>choose our TV shows, stream our music.
Even find us a date.</i>

241
00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:38,834
I know this chap, don't I?

242
00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:42,212
Yes, he's that Silicon Valley
billionaire who dated a Kardashian.

243
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:45,014
Two Kardashians and a Black-Eyed Pea.
Keep watching.

244
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:48,427
<i>But supposing there was an
algorithm for an entire country.</i>

245
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:52,105
<i>A single algorithm that could be
applied to every one of its problems.</i>

246
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:56,522
<i>A single algorithm that could take
a second-rate nation and make it</i>

247
00:19:57,071 --> 00:19:58,937
<i>world class.</i>

248
00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:02,694
<i>Every nation is awash with data.</i>

249
00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:08,030
So now, more than ever, we need to put
that data to work for the people.

250
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:11,408
These few lines of code will
deliver the kind of change

251
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:14,286
they have been dreaming of
their entire lives.

252
00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:17,460
<i>I am Xander. I love data.</i>

253
00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:22,419
He's so clever.

254
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:25,468
He's young, he's sexy,
he's insanely successful.

255
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:28,557
Just the qualities we need
people to associate with me.

256
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:30,930
Yes, Prime Minister.

257
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,555
And they will do when he
starts working with us.

258
00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:36,274
But why would a Silicon Valley
billionaire work with us?

259
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:39,110
Just get him into Number 10
and let me work on him.

260
00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:40,607
Yes, ma'am.
Go on.

261
00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:44,774
Oh, God, now what?

262
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:46,817
There's been another
attack, Prime Minister.

263
00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:48,243
Oh!
Air Traffic Control.

264
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:51,781
Someone's rerouted every
flight in Europe to Luton.

265
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:53,999
For God's sake, tell me the
agent you've got in the field

266
00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:55,835
is making some progress?

267
00:21:05,306 --> 00:21:08,298
So, how are we gonna find
the location of that yacht, sir?

268
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:11,768
Very easily, Bough.
We ring MI7.

269
00:21:16,025 --> 00:21:19,359
Hello, hello? Yes, I need the
location of a boat called...

270
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:26,820
Hello? Hello, yes.
A boat called the Dot Calm.

271
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:29,698
Yes, it's a play on words.
Yeah.

272
00:21:30,039 --> 00:21:31,029
Where?

273
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,712
Looks about half a mile out, sir.

274
00:21:40,758 --> 00:21:42,999
Do we wanna try and swim it or...

275
00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:46,548
No, Bough. This is a job for
the shoebox inflatable.

276
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,296
No, don't open it in the car, sir!

277
00:21:54,814 --> 00:21:57,806
Can you reach your door handle?

278
00:22:00,236 --> 00:22:01,818
No, sir.

279
00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:04,653
I'll try my side.

280
00:22:22,049 --> 00:22:26,043
Right, Bough, our aim is to get
on board without anyone noticing.

281
00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:28,256
And how are we gonna do it?

282
00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:30,839
Magnetic boots.
Brilliant, sir.

283
00:22:31,725 --> 00:22:33,136
Simple mechanism.

284
00:22:33,269 --> 00:22:36,387
Left switch activates left boot.
Right switch activates right.

285
00:22:37,106 --> 00:22:38,938
Okay, let's go.

286
00:22:53,831 --> 00:22:59,326
Remember, the absolutely vital
element of this mission is surprise.

287
00:23:21,025 --> 00:23:22,766
Now, you have to get up
pretty early in the morning

288
00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:25,018
to outwit British Intelligence.

289
00:23:31,201 --> 00:23:32,282
Quick!

290
00:23:39,460 --> 00:23:41,292
Good evening, gentlemen.

291
00:23:42,588 --> 00:23:44,579
Shall we start with your names?

292
00:23:45,716 --> 00:23:48,674
Clearly you have no idea
who you're dealing with.

293
00:23:49,678 --> 00:23:52,010
That's why I'm starting with your names.

294
00:23:52,556 --> 00:23:54,422
Actually, would you mind
coming down here?

295
00:23:54,558 --> 00:23:57,220
It's really hard to have
a conversation like this.

296
00:23:58,604 --> 00:24:00,265
I have a better idea.

297
00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:09,654
It's no good, it won't move, sir.

298
00:24:10,449 --> 00:24:12,360
We'll see about that

299
00:24:12,493 --> 00:24:14,825
Low-intensity exploding cotton bud.

300
00:24:18,666 --> 00:24:21,203
That's quite a powerful charge
for such a small space, sir.

301
00:24:21,293 --> 00:24:22,704
Oh, nonsense.

302
00:24:24,964 --> 00:24:27,126
There will just be a slight pop.

303
00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:38,053
Shall we locate the hold and
look for the source of that signal?

304
00:24:38,143 --> 00:24:42,137
I think we should locate the hold
and look for the source of that signal!

305
00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:46,645
Come on!

306
00:24:58,539 --> 00:25:01,031
I'd say we have our villain, Bough!

307
00:25:01,166 --> 00:25:03,328
You need to keep
your voice down, sir.

308
00:25:04,211 --> 00:25:06,202
And we're not going to lose him.

309
00:25:19,727 --> 00:25:21,968
Hand me the sherbet fountain.

310
00:25:24,481 --> 00:25:27,473
Three sucks and the location
transmitter is activated.

311
00:25:27,568 --> 00:25:31,357
This gin palace will show up
as a hostile from 30,000 feet.

312
00:25:31,905 --> 00:25:32,940
Hmm.

313
00:25:39,830 --> 00:25:42,663
This is now an enemy target.

314
00:25:48,088 --> 00:25:49,749
Aniseed balls.

315
00:26:04,855 --> 00:26:08,098
If you'd wanted to kill me, you
would have already done so.

316
00:26:11,528 --> 00:26:13,360
Till we meet again.

317
00:26:21,497 --> 00:26:22,658
Ow!

318
00:26:27,252 --> 00:26:29,539
Well, that was sooner than I expected.

319
00:26:33,383 --> 00:26:36,466
<i>Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.</i>

320
00:26:40,015 --> 00:26:41,881
<i>Who do you think she is, sir?</i>

321
00:26:41,975 --> 00:26:44,637
Well, if she's not
the owner of that yacht,

322
00:26:44,728 --> 00:26:46,184
then she knows who is.

323
00:26:47,314 --> 00:26:49,806
Either way, she's the key to this case.

324
00:26:52,152 --> 00:26:55,190
Is it true you were teaching, sir?
Before all this blew up?

325
00:26:56,490 --> 00:26:58,731
If by "teaching" you mean

326
00:26:58,867 --> 00:27:03,828
scouting for potential intelligence
operatives then yes, I was.

327
00:27:03,914 --> 00:27:04,995
Hmm.

328
00:27:05,082 --> 00:27:09,747
I actually got married, sir.
I don't know if you heard.

329
00:27:11,338 --> 00:27:12,328
No.

330
00:27:13,006 --> 00:27:14,337
Hmm.

331
00:27:14,550 --> 00:27:16,132
Yeah, Lydia.

332
00:27:16,218 --> 00:27:17,253
Lovely girl.

333
00:27:21,014 --> 00:27:23,676
You never think about
getting hitched yourself, sir?

334
00:27:24,935 --> 00:27:29,429
This is no life for a married man, Bough.
The danger, the constant travel.

335
00:27:29,523 --> 00:27:30,604
Here you go, sir.

336
00:27:30,691 --> 00:27:32,682
More Lydia's life than mine, sir.

337
00:27:34,153 --> 00:27:35,439
She's in the Navy, you see.

338
00:27:36,405 --> 00:27:37,566
What, as a cook'?

339
00:27:38,407 --> 00:27:41,616
Or some kind of seagoing secretary or...

340
00:27:41,702 --> 00:27:44,569
Oh, no, sir. She's the captain
of a nuclear submarine.

341
00:27:45,914 --> 00:27:47,245
Oh, right.
Hmm.

342
00:27:49,668 --> 00:27:52,410
Do you think we should get some
petrol for the Aston, sir?

343
00:27:53,881 --> 00:27:58,125
No. An Aston Martin is
surprisingly economical, Bough.

344
00:28:00,179 --> 00:28:03,171
Besides, it looks like
we're in business.

345
00:28:17,237 --> 00:28:18,398
Come on.

346
00:28:25,621 --> 00:28:27,578
Looks like an electric car, sir.

347
00:28:27,664 --> 00:28:30,122
Yes, and sounds like
a nose hair trimmer.

348
00:28:32,252 --> 00:28:33,834
A bunch of triple-A batteries

349
00:28:33,921 --> 00:28:36,538
is no match for old-fashioned
British horsepower.

350
00:28:58,070 --> 00:29:01,438
Look at her cornering.
Seems so effortless, doesn't it, sir?

351
00:29:40,821 --> 00:29:42,403
Arm the missile.

352
00:29:42,489 --> 00:29:43,604
The what?

353
00:29:43,699 --> 00:29:45,940
The missile, Bough, the one
with the tear gas warhead.

354
00:29:46,034 --> 00:29:48,571
But they're just cyclists, sir.
We'll get past in a minute.

355
00:29:48,662 --> 00:29:49,823
They're French cyclists, Bough,

356
00:29:49,955 --> 00:29:52,663
and they're obstructing
Her Majesty's Secret Service.

357
00:30:00,507 --> 00:30:01,838
Wiper stalk is armed, sir.

358
00:30:11,143 --> 00:30:12,133
<i>Sorry.</i>

359
00:30:12,602 --> 00:30:14,889
<i>Terribly sow.
We do apologize.</i>

360
00:30:15,022 --> 00:30:17,184
<i>Stop it, Bough,
you'll only encourage them.</i>

361
00:30:32,706 --> 00:30:35,368
What are we gonna do now, sir?
Patience, Bough.

362
00:30:35,917 --> 00:30:38,830
Driving like that, her battery
will be dead any moment.

363
00:30:38,962 --> 00:30:42,205
And she'll roll to a humiliating stop.

364
00:31:01,485 --> 00:31:05,069
Bough, it is your job to keep
an eye on the fuel gauge.

365
00:31:12,746 --> 00:31:14,908
Very impressive driving, Mr...

366
00:31:16,625 --> 00:31:17,706
Golightly.

367
00:31:18,752 --> 00:31:20,868
Basil Golightly.

368
00:31:23,256 --> 00:31:25,873
And you're rather useful yourself, Miss...

369
00:31:26,551 --> 00:31:29,589
Bhuletova.
Ophelia Bhuletova.

370
00:31:29,763 --> 00:31:31,003
Hmm.

371
00:31:31,098 --> 00:31:32,839
And this is...

372
00:31:33,225 --> 00:31:34,215
Colin.

373
00:31:35,852 --> 00:31:38,014
I thought we were using fake names.

374
00:31:38,939 --> 00:31:40,680
That is a fake name.

375
00:31:43,527 --> 00:31:44,858
Oh, right.

376
00:31:46,863 --> 00:31:48,729
Yes, this is Colin,

377
00:31:49,991 --> 00:31:51,106
and I'm...

378
00:31:55,288 --> 00:31:56,403
"Dasil."

379
00:31:56,873 --> 00:31:57,863
Dasil.

380
00:31:58,291 --> 00:31:59,281
Basil.

381
00:32:00,544 --> 00:32:02,751
Well, Basil,

382
00:32:03,380 --> 00:32:04,962
maybe there is a simpler way of doing this.

383
00:32:05,757 --> 00:32:07,168
Over a drink perhaps?

384
00:32:07,259 --> 00:32:09,626
Well, that would be lovely.

385
00:32:09,719 --> 00:32:14,384
- Shall we say the bar at the Hotel
de Paris in Cagnes-sur-Mer? -00?

386
00:32:14,474 --> 00:32:16,556
Mmm. It's a date.

387
00:32:21,940 --> 00:32:22,930
Well,

388
00:32:23,525 --> 00:32:27,689
I think my "running out of fuel"
ruse worked pretty well.

389
00:32:28,113 --> 00:32:29,319
Mmm.

390
00:32:33,076 --> 00:32:34,157
What?

391
00:32:34,327 --> 00:32:36,694
Er, junior doctors. They've confirmed
they are going on strike

392
00:32:36,788 --> 00:32:38,574
and the tube drivers are
coming out in support.

393
00:32:38,665 --> 00:32:41,498
Oh, God. Leader of the Opposition, has
he come round from his heart surgery?

394
00:32:41,585 --> 00:32:42,620
Yes, Prime Minister.

395
00:32:42,711 --> 00:32:45,829
Oh, Jesus Christ, when will something
go right for me? What do you want?

396
00:32:46,631 --> 00:32:48,668
They've hit us again, Prime Minister.

397
00:32:49,217 --> 00:32:51,709
Huh? Hacked into the Central
Traffic Control System.

398
00:32:52,012 --> 00:32:55,425
Yes, they've turned every
traffic light in London to red.

399
00:32:58,059 --> 00:32:59,675
Where's my bloody drink?

400
00:33:00,437 --> 00:33:02,804
You've got to be joking?
Vodka tonic, no ice, no tonic.

401
00:33:02,898 --> 00:33:05,435
Yes, ma'am. Oh, and Mr.
Volta has arrived, ma'am.

402
00:33:09,946 --> 00:33:12,563
Mr. Volta, welcome to Downing Street.

403
00:33:12,699 --> 00:33:15,782
I have read so much about
this wonderful building.

404
00:33:15,911 --> 00:33:19,404
Is this the stone triple staircase
designed by William Kent?

405
00:33:19,539 --> 00:33:22,702
Um, yes, it probably is.
I can't swear to it.

406
00:33:22,834 --> 00:33:25,371
- Can we do a quick...
<i>- Needs</i> Photoshop.

407
00:33:25,462 --> 00:33:27,954
Oh!
This way. Hmm.

408
00:33:28,089 --> 00:33:29,875
I am horribly late, I do apologize.

409
00:33:30,008 --> 00:33:32,796
It's the traffic, it's the one thing
I don't love about London.

410
00:33:32,928 --> 00:33:35,340
Yes, well, I must admit
we are having a slight problem

411
00:33:35,430 --> 00:33:37,341
with the lights at the moment.
Nothing major.

412
00:33:37,474 --> 00:33:40,466
If you wanted, I could take a look?
It is kind of what I do.

413
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:43,177
I think it's actually a little
bit more complex than...

414
00:33:43,313 --> 00:33:46,681
Xander, get a web address for
London's traffic control center.

415
00:33:47,359 --> 00:33:51,068
<i>Here is the login page, Jason.
Do you have a password?</i>

416
00:33:53,532 --> 00:33:54,693
Um...

417
00:33:57,827 --> 00:34:00,660
I won't tell if you won't.
Right you are.

418
00:34:01,957 --> 00:34:05,575
<i>Bypassing security.
Security bypassed.</i>

419
00:34:05,669 --> 00:34:06,659
Oh, that's terrific.

420
00:34:08,046 --> 00:34:11,209
Someone is hacking you.
Oh, I don't think so.

421
00:34:11,550 --> 00:34:15,384
Denied service attack.
Yeah, primitive but effective.

422
00:34:16,513 --> 00:34:19,881
You know what we could try,
rerouting all service requests

423
00:34:19,975 --> 00:34:22,091
to our server farm in Nevada.

424
00:34:23,103 --> 00:34:24,389
Um...
I...

425
00:34:25,647 --> 00:34:27,388
<i>Rerouting, Jason.</i>

426
00:34:27,482 --> 00:34:29,223
<i>Rerouting complete.</i>

427
00:34:33,530 --> 00:34:35,271
Crikey.

428
00:34:36,908 --> 00:34:39,900
So, what was it you wanted
to talk to me about?

429
00:34:40,245 --> 00:34:42,361
You, Jason.

430
00:34:43,540 --> 00:34:44,871
Get out.

431
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:46,536
I want to talk about you.

432
00:35:01,016 --> 00:35:03,883
Excellent, Bough.
Nearly there.

433
00:35:04,769 --> 00:35:06,225
Nearly there.

434
00:35:06,354 --> 00:35:09,346
This is actually a really
nice hotel, Bough.

435
00:35:10,108 --> 00:35:12,975
I'm turning to the right.

436
00:35:25,999 --> 00:35:29,958
Shall one of us keep Miss Bhuletova busy
while the other searches her room, sir?

437
00:35:30,170 --> 00:35:34,164
Good idea, Bough.
Alert me if you find anything.

438
00:35:56,321 --> 00:35:57,482
Mr. Golightly.

439
00:36:00,492 --> 00:36:01,482
Oh...

440
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:03,195
Indeed.

441
00:36:04,204 --> 00:36:07,287
I thought perhaps you weren't coming.
On the contrary.

442
00:36:07,457 --> 00:36:10,074
Wild horses couldn't keep me away.

443
00:36:10,835 --> 00:36:11,950
<i>Madame? Monsieur?</i>

444
00:36:12,504 --> 00:36:14,415
Evening. What would you like?

445
00:36:15,131 --> 00:36:18,749
I'm feeling a little homesick tonight.
I'll have a Moscow Mule.

446
00:36:22,305 --> 00:36:24,637
And I'll have a London...

447
00:36:24,974 --> 00:36:26,965
Lemming, please.

448
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:30,352
I'm not sure, what...

449
00:36:31,648 --> 00:36:34,982
It's, uh, gin, vodka,

450
00:36:36,444 --> 00:36:37,775
armagnac,

451
00:36:38,530 --> 00:36:39,816
sherry,

452
00:36:40,490 --> 00:36:42,982
with just a little bit of Parmesan.

453
00:36:49,165 --> 00:36:52,874
So, what brings you to
the South of France, Miss...

454
00:36:52,961 --> 00:36:54,372
Bhilli... Bholly...

455
00:36:54,462 --> 00:36:55,668
Bhuletova.

456
00:36:56,172 --> 00:36:57,537
Bhuletova.

457
00:36:57,882 --> 00:36:59,668
I'm just visiting
a friend of mine.

458
00:36:59,759 --> 00:37:00,874
Hmm.

459
00:37:03,930 --> 00:37:07,173
And would this friend be
the owner of the Do! <i>Calm?</i>

460
00:37:08,351 --> 00:37:09,432
Hmm.

461
00:37:09,519 --> 00:37:10,725
Yes, he would.

462
00:37:16,526 --> 00:37:18,358
And what about you,

463
00:37:18,445 --> 00:37:19,435
Basil?

464
00:37:19,612 --> 00:37:21,944
Oh, I'm just here on business.

465
00:37:22,198 --> 00:37:25,190
Although, it's rapidly
turning into pleasure.

466
00:37:29,289 --> 00:37:31,030
Ooh! I love these.

467
00:37:36,254 --> 00:37:37,460
They're really hot.

468
00:37:46,514 --> 00:37:48,175
Are you all right?

469
00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:49,931
Yes, fine.

470
00:37:58,985 --> 00:38:00,020
Hmm.

471
00:38:06,493 --> 00:38:07,574
Cheers.

472
00:38:08,036 --> 00:38:11,199
I'm not sure I've ever met
a man quite like you, Basil.

473
00:38:12,207 --> 00:38:14,539
Let me clear up
the uncertainty for you.

474
00:38:15,168 --> 00:38:16,533
You haven't

475
00:38:30,767 --> 00:38:35,182
I'm sorry, Basil. I have to get up
really early tomorrow morning.

476
00:38:35,563 --> 00:38:37,099
<i>Oh, that' s a shame.</i>

477
00:38:47,659 --> 00:38:49,320
How did you get on, sir?

478
00:38:49,452 --> 00:38:52,114
Oh, gosh, what a wonderful
woman, Bough. Wonderful.

479
00:38:52,247 --> 00:38:53,237
Right.

480
00:38:53,373 --> 00:38:55,239
Charming. Intelligent.

481
00:38:55,333 --> 00:38:59,042
Lovely sense of humor. And
obviously entirely innocent.

482
00:38:59,170 --> 00:39:02,288
Although, I broke into her room and
she does have three passports, sir.

483
00:39:02,382 --> 00:39:05,215
Romanian, Bulgarian, Russian.
Different name in each.

484
00:39:05,844 --> 00:39:08,211
So she's been married to
three different people.

485
00:39:08,346 --> 00:39:10,337
Not unusual in this day and age, Bough.

486
00:39:10,473 --> 00:39:13,340
And I also found some garroting
wire and two boxes of ammunition.

487
00:39:13,434 --> 00:39:18,270
Well, single woman, traveling
alone, you can't be too careful.

488
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:22,398
You don't think
she might be a spy, sir?

489
00:39:22,861 --> 00:39:24,772
A spy?

490
00:39:25,530 --> 00:39:28,272
I think I know
what a spy looks like, Bough.

491
00:40:14,412 --> 00:40:15,743
Oh.

492
00:42:29,088 --> 00:42:30,374
Oh!

493
00:42:59,118 --> 00:43:00,233
Ah.

494
00:43:25,728 --> 00:43:26,718
Sir?

495
00:43:27,021 --> 00:43:28,011
Sir!

496
00:43:29,357 --> 00:43:31,348
I just got off the phone
to P in London.

497
00:43:31,442 --> 00:43:32,932
He's found out who the
owner of that yacht is.

498
00:43:33,027 --> 00:43:34,017
Jason Volta.

499
00:43:34,112 --> 00:43:36,319
The world's most powerful
Internet billionaire, sir!

500
00:43:36,405 --> 00:43:37,770
And he's in London, right now.

501
00:43:37,865 --> 00:43:41,278
The Prime Minister is personally
negotiating a trade deal with him.

502
00:43:42,286 --> 00:43:43,868
Well, what are we waiting for?

503
00:44:15,111 --> 00:44:17,944
Do you think we might
slow down a little, sir?

504
00:44:18,739 --> 00:44:19,820
What?

505
00:44:21,993 --> 00:44:23,404
Never mind!

506
00:44:29,208 --> 00:44:31,449
<i>With what appears to be
another cyber attack,</i>

507
00:44:31,544 --> 00:44:32,830
<i>pressure is mounting on the Prime Minister.</i>

508
00:44:32,962 --> 00:44:34,919
Every train in England?
Yes, sir.

509
00:44:35,006 --> 00:44:38,089
They' re all trying to terminate
at Bristol Temple Meade.

510
00:44:41,304 --> 00:44:42,339
Morning, sir!

511
00:44:42,430 --> 00:44:44,512
You see this, English?
Yes!

512
00:44:45,433 --> 00:44:46,423
Please.

513
00:44:47,226 --> 00:44:48,557
Ooh!

514
00:44:49,145 --> 00:44:51,603
Tell me you've got something
I can take to the Prime Minister.

515
00:44:51,689 --> 00:44:54,681
Would the name of the man
responsible do, sir?

516
00:44:55,026 --> 00:44:56,608
Excellent, English, yes.

517
00:44:57,236 --> 00:44:59,523
It's Jason...

518
00:45:09,707 --> 00:45:12,165
Volta, sir. Jason Volta.

519
00:45:12,585 --> 00:45:13,575
What?

520
00:45:13,753 --> 00:45:16,336
You're accusing the PM's
knight in shining armor?

521
00:45:16,422 --> 00:45:18,254
I'd need hard evidence.

522
00:45:25,389 --> 00:45:26,720
Which...

523
00:45:27,475 --> 00:45:29,967
is why Agent English is proposing

524
00:45:30,061 --> 00:45:32,598
a penetration of Volta's
country estate in Surrey.

525
00:45:32,813 --> 00:45:37,057
Yes, yes, yes, yes...

526
00:45:37,151 --> 00:45:39,483
Well, do what you have to do, English.

527
00:45:39,862 --> 00:45:41,853
But for God's sake,
be discreet about it.

528
00:45:42,073 --> 00:45:44,110
Oh! Oh.

529
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:45,235
Good.

530
00:45:45,326 --> 00:45:46,407
Oh. Oh.

531
00:45:52,667 --> 00:45:54,374
"Virtual reality"?

532
00:45:54,502 --> 00:45:55,492
That's right, sir.

533
00:45:55,586 --> 00:45:57,918
P's built a computer model of
the inside of Volta's mansion.

534
00:45:58,005 --> 00:46:02,966
When you put on this headset, it will look
and feel <i>as</i> if you are inside the house.

535
00:46:03,052 --> 00:46:06,511
You'll be able to open and close doors,
walk up and down staircases,

536
00:46:06,597 --> 00:46:09,385
completely familiarize
yourself with its layout.

537
00:46:09,475 --> 00:46:12,718
This floor moves in any direction.
So you can walk...

538
00:46:13,980 --> 00:46:17,393
You can walk as far as you
want in the virtual world

539
00:46:18,150 --> 00:46:20,608
without ever actually leaving this room.

540
00:46:20,987 --> 00:46:22,022
One thing though, sir.

541
00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:24,946
The experience can be very disorientating.

542
00:46:25,032 --> 00:46:26,238
It's completely immersive

543
00:46:26,325 --> 00:46:29,363
and some people lose all track
of their actual surroundings.

544
00:46:29,453 --> 00:46:32,662
I think we can pretty much
guarantee that's not gonna happen.

545
00:46:32,999 --> 00:46:35,331
I'll just need you to sign the
health and safety releases.

546
00:46:35,668 --> 00:46:38,376
Would you excuse me
while I find an iPad.

547
00:46:39,380 --> 00:46:42,668
Oh, go with him, Bough. If we don't
chivvy him along we'll be here all day.

548
00:46:48,723 --> 00:46:49,963
Hmm.

549
00:47:10,161 --> 00:47:11,322
Ah.

550
00:47:33,392 --> 00:47:34,382
Watch out!

551
00:48:02,671 --> 00:48:04,457
Door closing.

552
00:48:05,091 --> 00:48:06,422
<i>Going down.</i>

553
00:49:07,153 --> 00:49:08,314
Hey!

554
00:49:23,794 --> 00:49:25,376
I'm sorry, sir,
but you're going to have to leave.

555
00:49:25,713 --> 00:49:26,748
Ow.

556
00:49:27,047 --> 00:49:28,082
Ow.

557
00:49:51,739 --> 00:49:54,857
So, we'll shortly
be arriving at Admiralty House.

558
00:49:54,992 --> 00:49:58,906
And, er, that actually used to be
Oliver Cromwell's own house. Um...

559
00:50:00,706 --> 00:50:02,037
Uh...

560
00:50:02,166 --> 00:50:05,659
And then we'll be going to
Horse Guards Parade.

561
00:50:08,422 --> 00:50:10,208
Perhaps you'd like to sit down, sir?

562
00:50:12,968 --> 00:50:14,834
Hey, whoa!

563
00:50:19,475 --> 00:50:20,886
I've got them!

564
00:50:25,564 --> 00:50:29,523
However, the agent we have on this mission
is confident he's making major progress.

565
00:50:29,610 --> 00:50:32,398
And, uh, yes, we have a potential
suspect, he's been identified.

566
00:50:32,905 --> 00:50:36,899
And further covert
investigations are now ongoing.

567
00:50:38,202 --> 00:50:39,408
Yes, quite.

568
00:50:39,662 --> 00:50:42,575
So I expect to have more
to announce on this front

569
00:50:44,333 --> 00:50:45,494
shortly.

570
00:50:59,390 --> 00:51:00,551
Oh.

571
00:51:01,433 --> 00:51:02,423
Sir?

572
00:51:02,518 --> 00:51:03,633
Mmm?

573
00:51:03,727 --> 00:51:06,560
Is everything all right, sir?
Yes, I've done it, Bough.

574
00:51:06,814 --> 00:51:09,556
Child's play. Don't know
what all the fuss was about.

575
00:51:23,163 --> 00:51:25,154
<i>Pleasure to see you again, Prime Minister.</i>

576
00:51:26,792 --> 00:51:29,705
It's a hologram. Apparently
you just speak to it normally.

577
00:51:31,380 --> 00:51:33,542
The pleasure's all mine.

578
00:51:33,632 --> 00:51:37,500
Hate to rush you, but was there
something in particular you needed?

579
00:51:37,595 --> 00:51:40,257
Actually, I was just calling really to see

580
00:51:40,347 --> 00:51:44,386
if you had had a chance
to think things over.

581
00:51:44,643 --> 00:51:45,633
<i>I have.</i>

582
00:51:48,147 --> 00:51:51,731
But the thing is, Fiona, I just don't
really do other people's security.

583
00:51:51,817 --> 00:51:55,185
<i>Not that I don't want to.
But your infrastructure is old.</i>

584
00:51:55,529 --> 00:51:57,190
Plus the only way I could keep
you secure in the meantime

585
00:51:57,281 --> 00:52:00,819
would be by storing all your
data on my own servers.

586
00:52:00,909 --> 00:52:03,025
<i>Obviously, that would be...
Yes. Jason,</i>

587
00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:07,079
what I really want to do is announce
this tie-up at the G12 meeting.

588
00:52:07,958 --> 00:52:10,290
<i>Do we have a deal?</i>

589
00:52:19,470 --> 00:52:21,131
Good luck, sir.

590
00:52:39,823 --> 00:52:40,813
Hey.

591
00:52:40,991 --> 00:52:41,981
Sir?

592
00:52:42,076 --> 00:52:44,568
I said to get the chopper ready.
Right there.

593
00:52:44,662 --> 00:52:45,868
Sir. Right away, sir.

594
00:52:46,038 --> 00:52:47,244
Thank you.

595
00:52:47,456 --> 00:52:49,038
- Tyler, come in.
- Copy.

596
00:52:49,458 --> 00:52:51,415
Tyler, can you prepare
the chopper now?

597
00:52:51,543 --> 00:52:54,331
<i>We?! have everything</i> ready
<i>for you in</i> a <i>couple of minutes.</i>

598
00:53:25,661 --> 00:53:28,653
We can't keep meeting
like this, Mr. Golightly.

599
00:53:28,747 --> 00:53:30,078
Oh, yes.

600
00:53:30,165 --> 00:53:33,123
Or do you want to end this charade
and tell me your real name?

601
00:53:33,419 --> 00:53:34,955
Go.

602
00:53:37,881 --> 00:53:41,749
There's so much you don't understand about
this world you've got caught up in.

603
00:53:42,845 --> 00:53:46,213
Spare me the idiot act.
You're British Secret Service.

604
00:53:47,433 --> 00:53:51,176
Impressive work in France, by the way.
When did you realize I was a spy, too?

605
00:53:52,688 --> 00:53:55,976
Oh, pretty much straight away.

606
00:53:56,859 --> 00:53:57,894
Hmm.

607
00:54:00,279 --> 00:54:04,273
I've spent two years undercover.
Simple operation until you showed up.

608
00:54:04,491 --> 00:54:06,232
And I like to keep things simple.

609
00:54:07,119 --> 00:54:08,985
"Simple" is my middle name.

610
00:54:13,250 --> 00:54:15,116
It would seem you've got
a choice to make.

611
00:54:17,755 --> 00:54:21,669
Temporary suspension of hostilities?
A short-term partnership?

612
00:54:22,843 --> 00:54:24,004
Agreed.
Hmm.

613
00:54:30,642 --> 00:54:31,803
Hmm.

614
00:54:31,977 --> 00:54:34,935
Politicians are even more
gullible than venture capitalists.

615
00:54:35,022 --> 00:54:36,012
<i>That is correct.</i>

616
00:54:36,106 --> 00:54:37,312
Get me a copy of the target list.

617
00:54:37,649 --> 00:54:39,981
We'll hit them once more
just to be on the safe side.

618
00:54:40,527 --> 00:54:43,645
Give me your phone.
You don't have a phone?

619
00:54:43,781 --> 00:54:46,148
A phone will give anyone
your precise location.

620
00:54:46,241 --> 00:54:48,903
And yet they're so useful
for making phone calls.

621
00:54:48,994 --> 00:54:51,361
Excellent.
I'm not phoning anyone.

622
00:54:52,122 --> 00:54:55,035
I'm gathering evidence.

623
00:54:56,919 --> 00:55:00,753
<i>The target fist, Jason. Four
iconic central London landmarks.</i>

624
00:55:00,881 --> 00:55:02,963
<i>Make your selection.
Number three.</i>

625
00:55:03,091 --> 00:55:04,923
<i>The London Eye.</i>

626
00:55:06,178 --> 00:55:11,389
<i>This cyber attack could potentially
impact 16,600 visitors.</i>

627
00:55:16,730 --> 00:55:19,222
I Found him snooping around upstairs.

628
00:55:20,317 --> 00:55:22,228
And who are you exactly?

629
00:55:22,361 --> 00:55:23,817
I'm not telling you anything.

630
00:55:23,904 --> 00:55:24,939
Hmm.

631
00:55:25,989 --> 00:55:28,151
<i>Face recognition
software launched.</i>

632
00:55:28,492 --> 00:55:31,951
<i>Johnny English is a geography
teacher from Lincolnshire.</i>

633
00:55:32,412 --> 00:55:36,246
Rather heavily armed for a lesson
on European capitals, Mr. English.

634
00:55:38,752 --> 00:55:39,958
Any thoughts, sweetheart?

635
00:55:40,963 --> 00:55:42,874
He's British Intelligence.

636
00:55:44,174 --> 00:55:46,336
And there you have it,
two words that have

637
00:55:46,426 --> 00:55:49,339
no right being
in the same sentence together.

638
00:55:49,721 --> 00:55:52,713
Do you really think
I came here alone?

639
00:55:53,100 --> 00:55:56,388
I have a team of crack
operatives out there, right now,

640
00:55:56,478 --> 00:55:57,968
just waiting to strike.

641
00:55:58,063 --> 00:55:59,349
Uh-huh.

642
00:56:04,444 --> 00:56:05,479
<i>Sir!</i>

643
00:56:08,699 --> 00:56:10,986
What has happened to this country?

644
00:56:11,118 --> 00:56:13,826
How is it possible that
less than a century ago

645
00:56:13,912 --> 00:56:16,904
the British Empire ruled
a quarter of the globe

646
00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:20,624
and now it's relying on someone

647
00:56:21,795 --> 00:56:24,207
like you?

648
00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:29,795
Hey! Stop!

649
00:56:31,138 --> 00:56:32,128
Stop him?

650
00:56:46,069 --> 00:56:47,059
Go.

651
00:56:55,537 --> 00:56:56,948
- Close the gates.
- Yes, sir.

652
00:57:07,841 --> 00:57:09,172
Help! Stop!

653
00:57:09,259 --> 00:57:11,626
Obstacle directly ahead, Mrs. Trattner.

654
00:57:11,762 --> 00:57:15,676
Check your mirrors and
bring the car to a stop.

655
00:57:18,018 --> 00:57:19,725
Er, excuse me. Hey.

656
00:57:21,730 --> 00:57:22,720
Thank you.

657
00:57:26,318 --> 00:57:27,308
Drive!

658
00:57:29,613 --> 00:57:30,603
Excuse me.

659
00:57:30,697 --> 00:57:32,438
What...
What do you think you're doing?

660
00:57:32,532 --> 00:57:35,115
Excuse me!
You are not a qualified instructor.

661
00:57:44,294 --> 00:57:46,535
But what about my instructor?
Turn left.

662
00:57:46,630 --> 00:57:47,665
Oh.

663
00:57:48,548 --> 00:57:49,583
Turn right.

664
00:57:54,012 --> 00:57:56,549
For future reference,
I'm on your left.

665
00:57:56,890 --> 00:58:00,383
Please, stop.
I can't do this anymore!

666
00:58:04,773 --> 00:58:06,355
I can't see anything now!

667
00:58:06,858 --> 00:58:07,848
Good.

668
00:58:19,538 --> 00:58:21,495
When I say "go,"
turn sharp right.

669
00:58:21,581 --> 00:58:22,787
Uh-huh.

670
00:58:26,586 --> 00:58:28,827
Three, two, one.

671
00:58:29,339 --> 00:58:30,329
Go!

672
00:58:33,593 --> 00:58:35,504
And straighten up,
straighten up, straighten up.

673
00:58:35,595 --> 00:58:36,801
<i>And go!</i>

674
00:58:37,597 --> 00:58:38,587
Let's go, let's go.

675
00:58:47,399 --> 00:58:49,310
Oh, now just bear left a little.
Good.

676
00:58:49,735 --> 00:58:51,100
Straighten up, straighten up.

677
00:58:55,574 --> 00:58:56,564
Good!

678
00:59:00,704 --> 00:59:02,991
Well, that was very good, Mrs. Trattner.

679
00:59:05,751 --> 00:59:07,958
I think you made some
real progress today.

680
00:59:09,546 --> 00:59:11,002
<i>You're not hearing me, English.</i>

681
00:59:11,089 --> 00:59:14,081
<i>Given the Prime Minister's new friendship
with Volta, the situation has changed.</i>

682
00:59:14,176 --> 00:59:18,795
But the facts haven't, sir.
That attack is Volta's responsibility.

683
00:59:18,889 --> 00:59:21,347
According to you,
but not according to anyone else.

684
00:59:21,433 --> 00:59:22,844
Is he here yet?

685
00:59:23,477 --> 00:59:25,844
Good afternoon, Prime Minister.
So, this is, uh...

686
00:59:26,104 --> 00:59:28,892
English, Prime Minister.
Johnny English.

687
00:59:29,191 --> 00:59:31,683
What exactly do you have
to say for yourself?

688
00:59:31,985 --> 00:59:33,726
Rather a lot, actually.

689
00:59:34,029 --> 00:59:37,613
However, men like me don't deal
in prevarication, Prime Minister,

690
00:59:37,699 --> 00:59:39,360
so let me get straight to the point.

691
00:59:39,451 --> 00:59:42,694
Jason Volta is the man
behind these attacks.

692
00:59:42,788 --> 00:59:45,371
And I have the evidence to prove it.

693
00:59:46,416 --> 00:59:50,125
I managed to record this
inside Volta's country lair.

694
00:59:50,253 --> 00:59:51,743
But I should warn you, Prime Minister,

695
00:59:51,880 --> 00:59:55,794
that what you're about to see
is evil incarnate.

696
00:59:57,803 --> 00:59:59,009
Hmm.

697
01:00:01,223 --> 01:00:04,181
<i>Here we are
at Fifi's third birthday!</i>

698
01:00:04,267 --> 01:00:06,508
<i>And it's</i> a <i>very exciting day!</i>

699
01:00:08,313 --> 01:00:11,055
<i>Hip hip, hooray!
Hip hip, hooray!</i>

700
01:00:12,109 --> 01:00:15,272
<i>Happy birthday to you</i>

701
01:00:16,446 --> 01:00:20,280
<i>Happy birthday to you</i>

702
01:00:21,660 --> 01:00:22,650
Thank you.

703
01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:25,532
Can I just ask,
what is wrong with you?

704
01:00:26,832 --> 01:00:29,199
The country is in
a state of complete chaos.

705
01:00:29,292 --> 01:00:30,453
The press is wetting itself,

706
01:00:30,544 --> 01:00:32,501
and the only person
capable of saving us

707
01:00:32,587 --> 01:00:34,828
is the man you're accusing of high treason.

708
01:00:35,799 --> 01:00:39,087
I was in the room myself when
he gave the order, Prime Minister!

709
01:00:39,219 --> 01:00:40,425
But there was a...

710
01:00:40,512 --> 01:00:42,094
Do you know what I was
in the room with, English?

711
01:00:42,222 --> 01:00:43,838
Your file, which I've read,
in its entirety,

712
01:00:43,932 --> 01:00:44,967
and I have a few questions.

713
01:00:45,100 --> 01:00:46,636
Did you or did you not burn

714
01:00:46,726 --> 01:00:49,184
the Cote de Roc restaurant in
Antibes to the ground?

715
01:00:49,271 --> 01:00:50,352
Um...

716
01:00:50,438 --> 01:00:52,805
And did you or did you not
fire a guided missile

717
01:00:52,941 --> 01:00:54,557
at a peloton of French cyclists?

718
01:00:55,110 --> 01:00:56,100
Well...

719
01:00:56,236 --> 01:00:57,647
Before commandeering
an open-top bus

720
01:00:57,779 --> 01:00:59,895
and tossing the tour guide
off the top deck,

721
01:01:00,031 --> 01:01:02,238
and then assaulting an 82-year-old
grandmother in a sandwich shop

722
01:01:02,367 --> 01:01:04,608
before battering the employee
of said sandwich shop

723
01:01:04,703 --> 01:01:06,614
with two organic
sourdough baguettes?

724
01:01:07,747 --> 01:01:09,488
Uh, I don't remember the...

725
01:01:09,624 --> 01:01:12,707
Do you have any idea
how hard it is to be me?

726
01:01:14,296 --> 01:01:15,912
- Uh...
- Hmm?

727
01:01:16,840 --> 01:01:18,831
Do you have even
the foggiest notion

728
01:01:18,967 --> 01:01:22,460
of how virtually impossible
it is to get anything done

729
01:01:22,596 --> 01:01:27,261
in the face of events
and facts and voters

730
01:01:27,392 --> 01:01:30,510
and that tsunami of tosspots
we call "the national press"?

731
01:01:30,645 --> 01:01:33,979
Finally I get the chance to do
something good for my country,

732
01:01:34,065 --> 01:01:35,305
and what happens?

733
01:01:35,442 --> 01:01:38,025
The universe sends me you.

734
01:01:39,779 --> 01:01:41,315
Well, do you know what I say?

735
01:01:41,406 --> 01:01:44,319
I say, up the universe's arse!

736
01:01:44,451 --> 01:01:46,488
And do you know what else I say?
You're fired.

737
01:01:46,578 --> 01:01:48,615
With immediate effect.
Now get out!

738
01:01:48,997 --> 01:01:53,036
And make sure I never clap eyes
on that imbecile ever again!

739
01:02:35,001 --> 01:02:36,833
What are you doing, sir?

740
01:02:37,921 --> 01:02:41,039
What do you think I'm doing, Bough?
I'm going home.

741
01:02:41,424 --> 01:02:43,836
But the Prime Minister is
finalizing her deal with Volta.

742
01:02:43,969 --> 01:02:47,212
She's taking him to the G12 Summit
in Scotland as her special guest.

743
01:02:47,347 --> 01:02:51,341
It's over, Bough. And there's
absolutely nothing we can do about it.

744
01:02:52,060 --> 01:02:54,722
But, sir, I have a plan.

745
01:02:55,105 --> 01:02:56,891
Remember my wife?

746
01:03:05,782 --> 01:03:07,068
Clear your baffles.

747
01:03:07,784 --> 01:03:09,570
What?
Mind your head, sir.

748
01:03:09,661 --> 01:03:10,742
Ow!

749
01:03:13,832 --> 01:03:15,072
This says we're sinking.

750
01:03:18,753 --> 01:03:23,623
She's old and a little rusty, but she can
put on a hell of a fireworks display.

751
01:03:40,525 --> 01:03:42,311
Excellent work, Commander.

752
01:03:42,610 --> 01:03:45,398
Jeremy has always spoken very
highly of you, Agent English.

753
01:03:46,573 --> 01:03:47,563
Who?

754
01:03:49,492 --> 01:03:50,653
Oh.

755
01:03:50,744 --> 01:03:52,405
Oh, yes, yes.

756
01:03:54,289 --> 01:03:56,405
I'm no fan of the pen pushers myself, so

757
01:03:56,499 --> 01:03:58,456
when orders came through
stationing us here for the Summit,

758
01:03:58,543 --> 01:04:00,955
well, I thought a lift was
the least I could do.

759
01:04:01,296 --> 01:04:03,207
Right, let's get a move on, Bough.

760
01:04:04,632 --> 01:04:06,373
Oh, if you wouldn't mind
keeping your mobiles off

761
01:04:06,468 --> 01:04:07,799
until you're well clear, gentlemen.

762
01:04:07,886 --> 01:04:10,378
The launch systems on the
missiles are a bit 1980s.

763
01:04:10,472 --> 01:04:13,214
Gets a tad twitchy around
microwave radiation.

764
01:04:13,350 --> 01:04:17,344
No problem there, Commander.
We're doing this mission old-school.

765
01:04:27,489 --> 01:04:29,150
This spot is perfect.

766
01:04:30,742 --> 01:04:32,073
Come on.

767
01:04:47,592 --> 01:04:48,582
Sorry, sir.

768
01:04:48,676 --> 01:04:50,132
Come on, come on...

769
01:04:52,013 --> 01:04:53,754
Right, Bough.
Our mission here is simple.

770
01:04:53,932 --> 01:04:57,300
Gain access to Volta's bedroom
and take him out.

771
01:04:57,727 --> 01:04:59,343
How are you going to
get up there, though, sir?

772
01:05:00,063 --> 01:05:03,351
A walk in the park for the exoskeleton.

773
01:05:09,823 --> 01:05:12,861
Remotely operated
neoprene bodysuit.

774
01:05:12,992 --> 01:05:15,905
Increases the wearer's
strength 100 times.

775
01:05:16,287 --> 01:05:19,575
Right, power it up. Stick in
the floppy disk and let's go.

776
01:05:27,882 --> 01:05:28,872
Just...

777
01:05:45,358 --> 01:05:46,564
Crikey, sir!

778
01:06:03,001 --> 01:06:04,833
When will the weapon be ready?

779
01:06:04,961 --> 01:06:08,579
<i>As soon as the Prime Minister
signs the agreement, tonight.</i>

780
01:06:08,715 --> 01:06:10,046
How do I fire it?

781
01:06:10,175 --> 01:06:12,758
<i>Press once and the attack is launched.</i>

782
01:06:13,011 --> 01:06:16,470
<i>After which, the data of every G12 country</i>

783
01:06:16,598 --> 01:06:20,091
will be transferred to the
servers onboard the Dot Calm.

784
01:06:20,185 --> 01:06:21,175
Perfect.

785
01:06:22,854 --> 01:06:23,935
Ah.

786
01:06:25,356 --> 01:06:26,346
Cheers.

787
01:06:34,782 --> 01:06:38,070
You're working for Russian Intelligence
and you have been from the start.

788
01:06:38,578 --> 01:06:41,320
Which is why I've taken an antidote
to the poison you keep in your ring,

789
01:06:41,414 --> 01:06:43,075
and which you've poured into this drink.

790
01:06:44,834 --> 01:06:47,121
And removed the firing pin
from that pistol.

791
01:06:55,970 --> 01:06:57,927
Everyone has to make a life
for themselves.

792
01:06:58,223 --> 01:07:00,339
It's just sad that yours is

793
01:07:01,434 --> 01:07:02,469
over.

794
01:07:02,560 --> 01:07:03,641
Hmm.

795
01:07:03,728 --> 01:07:07,016
Fresh from my 3D printer.
Hundred percent plastic.

796
01:07:10,235 --> 01:07:11,896
And 100% deadly.

797
01:07:13,071 --> 01:07:14,982
Killing me won't save you.

798
01:07:15,907 --> 01:07:16,897
Don't bet on it.

799
01:07:21,663 --> 01:07:24,030
Seriously, this cannot be happening.

800
01:07:24,249 --> 01:07:26,115
Oh, but it is.

801
01:07:27,168 --> 01:07:28,329
Drop the gun.

802
01:07:29,254 --> 01:07:30,585
Get your hands in the air.

803
01:07:31,548 --> 01:07:32,538
And you.

804
01:07:40,640 --> 01:07:41,926
There's no time for this, Johnny.

805
01:07:42,809 --> 01:07:44,265
Oh, it isn't possible.

806
01:07:44,352 --> 01:07:47,094
You cannot be working
with this English idiot!

807
01:07:47,188 --> 01:07:50,601
Save the pillow talk for
your prison cell, Volta.

808
01:07:50,942 --> 01:07:54,776
Are you inside, sir?
Yes, yes, Bough, you can power down.

809
01:07:55,154 --> 01:07:56,986
Everything is under control.

810
01:07:57,949 --> 01:07:59,280
Shut down.

811
01:08:23,850 --> 01:08:26,262
An historic venue
for an historic meeting.

812
01:08:26,352 --> 01:08:30,266
The delegates from each G12 member
nation will have their own priorities...

813
01:08:41,618 --> 01:08:43,154
How do we get in now, sir?

814
01:08:51,919 --> 01:08:53,580
What's the plan?

815
01:09:28,665 --> 01:09:30,076
Hey, you!

816
01:09:30,750 --> 01:09:31,831
Hey!

817
01:09:47,892 --> 01:09:50,680
Thank you very much. I hope
you have everything you need.

818
01:10:07,578 --> 01:10:08,784
Ow!

819
01:10:09,038 --> 01:10:10,574
On behalf of the United Kingdom,

820
01:10:10,707 --> 01:10:14,245
may I welcome you here today to
this ancient meeting chamber

821
01:10:14,377 --> 01:10:16,664
where the great Scottish clans

822
01:10:16,796 --> 01:10:20,539
once settled their differences
and forged new alliances.

823
01:10:21,300 --> 01:10:23,507
A place I have specifically chosen

824
01:10:23,594 --> 01:10:26,803
in order to make
a very special announcement.

825
01:10:27,807 --> 01:10:28,797
Sir?

826
01:10:30,101 --> 01:10:34,060
- Are you all right, sir'?
- No, I'm not all right. Get me up, Bough.

827
01:10:37,775 --> 01:10:41,313
It's very heavy, sir.
I know how heavy it is, Bough.

828
01:10:44,240 --> 01:10:45,947
We've got to get to the conference...

829
01:10:47,869 --> 01:10:50,076
To the conference room before Volta...

830
01:10:51,789 --> 01:10:53,996
Before Volta triggers his weapon.

831
01:10:55,543 --> 01:10:59,332
And so, with my signature
on this agreement...

832
01:11:01,048 --> 01:11:03,130
it gives me great pleasure, oh,

833
01:11:03,217 --> 01:11:07,927
to welcome to you my guest,
my friend, Jason Volta.

834
01:11:10,850 --> 01:11:14,184
<i>Standing
by to launch attack, Jason.</i>

835
01:11:14,479 --> 01:11:16,641
Damn it, get me out of this stuff.
Johnny?

836
01:11:16,773 --> 01:11:18,764
- I can't see the join, sir.
- It's the clasp.

837
01:11:18,900 --> 01:11:21,858
Release the clasp and the top
and the bottom separate.

838
01:11:23,821 --> 01:11:25,778
Must have jammed
when you fell over, sir.

839
01:11:25,948 --> 01:11:27,985
For goodness sake.
Wait. Try this.

840
01:11:34,874 --> 01:11:36,865
That is quite a lot of oil, sir.

841
01:11:37,960 --> 01:11:40,372
Oh, come on!
Come on, come on...

842
01:11:41,506 --> 01:11:45,215
Can you imagine what the world would
look like if it was run by Apple?

843
01:11:46,677 --> 01:11:49,089
Or Google? Or...

844
01:11:49,639 --> 01:11:50,720
Me?

845
01:11:53,976 --> 01:11:56,058
Do you think
you'd have failing schools?

846
01:11:56,813 --> 01:11:59,145
Do you think you'd have endless
waiting in your hospitals?

847
01:11:59,232 --> 01:12:00,222
No.

848
01:12:00,316 --> 01:12:03,058
Think you'd have such long
lines in your airports?

849
01:12:03,194 --> 01:12:04,730
- No.
- No.

850
01:12:05,071 --> 01:12:09,486
No, because all of these are
simple data management problems.

851
01:12:09,617 --> 01:12:12,279
And people like me,
we love data.

852
01:12:13,037 --> 01:12:15,699
We live for data.

853
01:12:16,123 --> 01:12:17,830
Ha!
My...

854
01:12:17,959 --> 01:12:20,291
Do you know
what I live for, Volta?

855
01:12:20,378 --> 01:12:21,368
God.

856
01:12:21,462 --> 01:12:26,832
Eliminating the threat that lying
villains like you pose to this country.

857
01:12:27,134 --> 01:12:28,340
Oh, for God's sake.

858
01:12:28,636 --> 01:12:30,172
Who is he?

859
01:12:30,346 --> 01:12:31,757
Arrest this whack job.

860
01:12:31,889 --> 01:12:34,972
The only person ordering an
arrest around here will be me.

861
01:12:35,768 --> 01:12:38,135
There's no cause for concern,
ladies and gentlemen,

862
01:12:38,271 --> 01:12:42,936
you are now in the capable hands
of Her Majesty's Secret Service.

863
01:12:43,276 --> 01:12:47,941
And you, my friend, are in for
an uncomfortable ride.

864
01:13:04,463 --> 01:13:05,794
Where was I?

865
01:13:07,258 --> 01:13:08,999
Living for data.

866
01:13:09,385 --> 01:13:10,466
Exactly.

867
01:13:11,804 --> 01:13:16,799
My algorithms can solve every one of your
problems as long as I have one thing.

868
01:13:16,893 --> 01:13:17,974
Control.

869
01:13:18,644 --> 01:13:21,978
And that is what you are about
to give me now.

870
01:13:22,607 --> 01:13:24,769
Jason, I wonder
if you could just clarify...

871
01:13:24,859 --> 01:13:25,940
Shut up.

872
01:13:26,485 --> 01:13:27,725
Now, hold on.

873
01:13:29,071 --> 01:13:30,732
<i>Castle now locked down</i>

874
01:13:31,782 --> 01:13:34,023
<i>and under your control, Jason.</i>

875
01:13:35,995 --> 01:13:38,407
The agreement this ignoramus just signed

876
01:13:38,497 --> 01:13:41,159
didn't just give me access
to all the UK's data.

877
01:13:41,292 --> 01:13:45,251
It also gave me access to a
junction box, in North Ayrshire

878
01:13:45,379 --> 01:13:47,916
that connects
the entire World Wide Web.

879
01:13:48,215 --> 01:13:53,881
Disable the fiber-optic cables in that box
and the Internet will cease to exist.

880
01:13:55,181 --> 01:13:57,764
Johnny? Are you okay?

881
01:14:05,107 --> 01:14:07,940
Have you got a phone?
We need to call for backup.

882
01:14:08,027 --> 01:14:10,985
There's no time for backup.
I'm going after Volta.

883
01:14:11,072 --> 01:14:12,779
And don't lose that one!

884
01:14:13,824 --> 01:14:17,738
Do you understand what it means
if I turn the Internet off?

885
01:14:17,954 --> 01:14:22,289
Cities will go dark.
Planes will fall out of the sky.

886
01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:26,459
Trains will collide.
Law and order will break down

887
01:14:26,545 --> 01:14:29,412
and the world as you know it
will be over.

888
01:14:30,132 --> 01:14:32,749
Show, don't tell, right?

889
01:14:36,555 --> 01:14:38,546
<i>Initiating attack, Jason.</i>

890
01:14:39,475 --> 01:14:41,466
<i>Taking control of junction box.</i>

891
01:14:42,603 --> 01:14:47,473
<i>Suspending Internet and electricity
supply across Britain and Europe.</i>

892
01:14:48,526 --> 01:14:50,938
<i>Stage one of attack complete.</i>

893
01:14:51,445 --> 01:14:54,733
Ladies and gentlemen.
I can stop the attack

894
01:14:54,824 --> 01:14:58,317
as long as each of you signs the same
agreement as the Prime Minister,

895
01:14:58,411 --> 01:15:00,402
giving me complete control.

896
01:15:01,330 --> 01:15:02,741
Your call.

897
01:15:03,582 --> 01:15:06,370
<i>Welcome to British Intelligence.
Get me Pegasus!</i>

898
01:15:06,794 --> 01:15:10,537
<i>For MI5, press one.
For MI6, press two.</i>

899
01:15:10,965 --> 01:15:13,297
<i>For MI7, press three.</i>

900
01:15:19,890 --> 01:15:23,053
<i>Eight G12 signatures now acquired.</i>

901
01:15:24,103 --> 01:15:26,686
Signal the chopper,
we're almost done here.

902
01:15:27,106 --> 01:15:28,892
For accounts, <i>press</i> five.

903
01:15:28,983 --> 01:15:31,315
<i>For childcare services, press six.
Oh, come on!</i>

904
01:15:31,444 --> 01:15:33,776
<i>For more options, press seven.</i>

905
01:15:36,323 --> 01:15:37,313
What?

906
01:15:38,743 --> 01:15:43,909
<i>Only two further signatures required
to achieve control of G12 nations' data.</i>

907
01:15:44,749 --> 01:15:46,160
<i>All UK data</i>

908
01:15:46,250 --> 01:15:49,038
now successfully transferred
to the Dot Calm.

909
01:15:49,170 --> 01:15:52,663
<i>For Aphrodite, press one.
For Pegasus, press two.</i>

910
01:15:55,217 --> 01:15:56,207
Oh, my God.

911
01:15:56,302 --> 01:16:00,011
<i>Dive the submarine.
Repeat, dive the submarine.</i>

912
01:16:02,808 --> 01:16:04,924
Director's office?
This <i>is</i> Johnny English.

913
01:16:05,061 --> 01:16:09,271
I need to speak to Pegasus immediately.
It's a national emergency.

914
01:16:09,398 --> 01:16:10,888
One moment, please, sir.

915
01:16:12,860 --> 01:16:13,895
This is HMS Vengeance.

916
01:16:14,028 --> 01:16:17,646
We have a full launch code.
Repeat, launch code is locked.

917
01:16:17,782 --> 01:16:19,773
<i>Do I have your permission to fire?</i>

918
01:16:19,909 --> 01:16:22,241
Oh, my God. Could you hold on
one moment, please?

919
01:16:22,369 --> 01:16:24,110
Sir? Sir!

920
01:16:25,081 --> 01:16:26,071
Hello?

921
01:16:26,332 --> 01:16:27,322
<i>Hello?</i>

922
01:16:27,416 --> 01:16:30,534
Sir! HMS Vengeance here.
Do I have your permission to launch?

923
01:16:30,669 --> 01:16:33,582
<i>What? Listen, we have to
call in an attack.</i>

924
01:16:33,672 --> 01:16:34,912
<i>Did you say "attack," sir?</i>

925
01:16:35,007 --> 01:16:37,339
<i>Yes, an attack. Attack.</i>

926
01:16:38,719 --> 01:16:41,381
General quarters,
we are go for launch.

927
01:16:41,514 --> 01:16:43,425
Target coordinates locked, Commander.

928
01:16:43,557 --> 01:16:44,547
Hello?

929
01:16:46,477 --> 01:16:47,512
Hello?

930
01:16:57,947 --> 01:17:00,484
Commander, the
missile is being redirected.

931
01:17:01,325 --> 01:17:03,987
It seems to be locking on
to a new hostile target.

932
01:17:06,622 --> 01:17:07,987
What's a "Sherbet F"?

933
01:17:19,301 --> 01:17:21,417
<i>Oh, no. What was that'?</i>

934
01:17:22,972 --> 01:17:26,010
<i>Dot Calm appears
to be offline, Jason.</i>

935
01:17:26,183 --> 01:17:28,845
<i>The cyber attack
has been halted.</i>

936
01:17:32,898 --> 01:17:34,229
Did you

937
01:17:34,608 --> 01:17:37,191
make a call quite close
to the submarine, sir'?

938
01:17:40,072 --> 01:17:41,187
Um...

939
01:17:41,282 --> 01:17:42,363
Because...

940
01:17:43,367 --> 01:17:44,698
You did it, sir!

941
01:17:45,870 --> 01:17:47,611
Mission accomplished!

942
01:17:48,164 --> 01:17:49,654
Well, exactly!

943
01:17:51,417 --> 01:17:54,500
<i>I am re-evaluating
our options, Jason.</i>

944
01:18:01,010 --> 01:18:02,842
Johnny! Johnny!

945
01:18:02,928 --> 01:18:06,011
Volta is getting away! He's
heading for his helicopter!

946
01:18:06,098 --> 01:18:07,384
No, Bough.

947
01:18:08,601 --> 01:18:10,262
This one's mine.

948
01:18:43,886 --> 01:18:45,547
Careful, sir. Sir?

949
01:18:56,607 --> 01:18:58,268
Last two steps, sir.

950
01:19:03,364 --> 01:19:05,275
Not so fast, Volta!

951
01:19:06,909 --> 01:19:08,991
Is this supposed to scare me, Sir Lancelot?

952
01:19:14,124 --> 01:19:15,364
Take cover, Bough.

953
01:19:22,007 --> 01:19:25,545
Don't worry, he's only got six
bullets in that thing.

954
01:19:29,014 --> 01:19:30,721
And, of course, the thing itself.

955
01:19:33,143 --> 01:19:35,180
You've run out of options, Volta.

956
01:19:36,021 --> 01:19:37,307
Oh, you think you've won?

957
01:19:37,398 --> 01:19:38,604
Mmm.

958
01:19:39,191 --> 01:19:42,229
<i>Rerouting the attack
to our Nevada servers, Jason.</i>

959
01:19:42,861 --> 01:19:46,855
The world's going down, English.
And I'll be the last man standing.

960
01:19:47,491 --> 01:19:50,529
Goodbye, English!
Goodbye, Internet.

961
01:19:51,787 --> 01:19:56,452
I've got it. That's a Gazelle
341 light attack helicopter.

962
01:19:57,042 --> 01:19:59,534
If we can hack into
its operating system,

963
01:19:59,795 --> 01:20:01,786
we can disable the drive function.

964
01:20:02,089 --> 01:20:03,079
Here.

965
01:20:06,927 --> 01:20:11,046
Look at you! You couldn't use that
thing if your life depended on it!

966
01:20:14,018 --> 01:20:15,383
Let's get outta here.

967
01:20:16,103 --> 01:20:17,810
Get this steel bird in the...

968
01:20:23,027 --> 01:20:27,942
<i>Rerouting compiete. Attack data
now installed at our Nevada servers.</i>

969
01:20:28,365 --> 01:20:30,151
<i>Should I initiate?</i>

970
01:20:30,576 --> 01:20:31,566
<i>Jason?</i>

971
01:20:36,248 --> 01:20:38,410
<i>Should I initiate
the new attack?</i>

972
01:20:39,460 --> 01:20:41,952
Initiate this!

973
01:20:42,046 --> 01:20:44,458
Jason.

974
01:20:55,726 --> 01:20:57,057
Well, uh,
ladies and gentlemen.

975
01:20:57,186 --> 01:21:01,054
I think we can all agree, that wasn't
quite the evening we were expecting.

976
01:21:06,403 --> 01:21:08,394
I had hoped to present to you tonight...

977
01:21:08,530 --> 01:21:10,817
Thank you... a vision of
what Britain might be.

978
01:21:11,241 --> 01:21:14,984
But, as it happens, the man who
saved us all this evening,

979
01:21:15,079 --> 01:21:18,617
the man who, I might add,
I personally assigned to this case,

980
01:21:19,249 --> 01:21:21,456
has presented us with
a different kind of vision.

981
01:21:21,543 --> 01:21:25,832
A living embodiment, if you like,
of those fundamental British qualities

982
01:21:25,923 --> 01:21:30,212
that have ensured that our
beloved island nation endures.

983
01:21:30,719 --> 01:21:33,632
Courage under fire,
endless ingenuity

984
01:21:33,722 --> 01:21:35,633
and above all, a quiet

985
01:21:36,266 --> 01:21:38,974
unassailable dignity.

986
01:21:58,122 --> 01:21:59,362
Thank you.

987
01:22:06,547 --> 01:22:07,958
All together.

988
01:22:18,851 --> 01:22:20,558
Welcome back, Mr. English.

989
01:22:20,644 --> 01:22:21,805
Thank you, Headmaster.

990
01:22:21,895 --> 01:22:23,602
Thank you for agreeing
to be our guest speaker.

991
01:22:23,689 --> 01:22:26,477
Now the governors and staff are all
waiting for us in the rose garden.

992
01:22:26,567 --> 01:22:29,480
Yes, if you could just excuse me
for a few minutes, Headmaster.

993
01:22:35,242 --> 01:22:36,232
Oh.

994
01:22:38,120 --> 01:22:39,360
Morning, sir!
Hello, sir!

995
01:22:39,455 --> 01:22:41,696
Welcome back, sir!

996
01:22:45,752 --> 01:22:46,833
Surprise!

997
01:22:47,796 --> 01:22:48,957
Thank you.

998
01:22:50,174 --> 01:22:51,756
Where's Straker?

999
01:22:52,676 --> 01:22:54,462
Here, sir.
Good.

1000
01:22:54,720 --> 01:22:56,631
And, of course, Baggaley.

1001
01:22:57,931 --> 01:22:59,012
That was very good.
Very good.

1002
01:22:59,099 --> 01:23:00,635
All right, gather round,
everyone. Gather round.

1003
01:23:01,894 --> 01:23:03,805
I've got some toys to show you.

1004
01:23:03,896 --> 01:23:05,432
Ooh!
There we go.

1005
01:23:06,523 --> 01:23:08,810
There we are. There we are.

1006
01:23:09,318 --> 01:23:11,400
- Breadstick blowpipe, anyone?
- Me!

1007
01:23:11,487 --> 01:23:12,522
There you go.

1008
01:23:12,613 --> 01:23:14,854
Granny Smith hand grenade?

1009
01:23:15,407 --> 01:23:17,398
And what about a garroting watch?
Here, sir.

1010
01:23:17,493 --> 01:23:18,483
There you go.

1011
01:23:19,870 --> 01:23:21,577
Ooh!
Here, let me take that.

1012
01:23:21,705 --> 01:23:23,992
Don't worry, it's only a mild sedative.

1013
01:23:25,209 --> 01:23:27,701
Oh! That's just
a five-second fuse.

1014
01:23:28,962 --> 01:23:31,579
Yes, all right, we all know
what garroting looks like.

1015
01:23:31,715 --> 01:23:33,706
Whenever you're ready, Mr. English.

1016
01:23:33,842 --> 01:23:36,425
Oh, I'm sorry, Headmaster,
I'll just be one moment.

1017
01:23:36,553 --> 01:23:38,715
Just take those. Thank you.
Ooh.

1018
01:23:39,598 --> 01:23:42,636
Put those away, shall we?
There we...

1019
01:23:43,352 --> 01:23:44,513
Um...

1020
01:23:45,354 --> 01:23:47,186
I always
did love a jelly baby.