mrkillwolf666

Lucifer and fig newtons part 1

Aug 20th, 2021 (edited)
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  1. from /hhg/ Helluva Hotel general #806
  2. h ttps://desuarchive.org/trash/thread/41027959/#41029184
  3. --------
  4. reminder for non-heretics:
  5. the forbidden fruit wasn't an apple
  6. there's only one leader of hell
  7. jesus seals off the divide between heaven and hell forever on judgement day
  8. blitzo will never get that white sht washed off
  9. -
  10. >the forbidden fruit wasn't an apple
  11. Then it was a Banana
  12. -
  13. It's been well-argued that the forbidden fruit was a fig, hence why A and E immediately covered themselves with a fig leaf after gaining knowledge of good and evil. The use of the apple in western christian iconography stems from the fact that at one point "apple" was a catchall term for all sorts of fruit, which is why we call it a pineapple. In the language of the day, that basically meant "a fruit that's shaped like a pinecone"
  14. Related viewing:
  15. h ttps://youtu.be/_o7Oq-OjKu8
  16. -
  17. Nah, it was an apple, stop coping
  18. -
  19. No, it was a fig. You know how I know for sure? Fig Newtons. Those things are proof that the devil exists. They are irrefutable evidence of a malevolent fundamental force that delights in the suffering of man. When you get to Hell, Lucifer is there to greet you personally, and he offers you a "cookie" to lull you into a false sense of security, only to then reveal that said "cookies" are in fact Fig Newtons, which he then forces you to eat.
  20. -
  21. guess I really am a demon because I love fig newtons
  22. -
  23. >T. Lucifer
  24. -------
  25. >Lucifer unironically loves fig newtons
  26. >Especially when the box has been left open and they're kind of stale and the jam exposed on the ends has a weird skin on it
  27. >The War In Heaven and The Fall were all actually rooted in Lucifer having terrible taste in snacks
  28. -
  29. >the real fall happened when he was arguing with g-d over this
  30. >they decided to settle it with a human tie breaker
  31. >gave adam and eve fig newtons
  32. >they liked it
  33. >fall.jpg
  34. -------
  35. we're all demons, how obvious it is just depends on how much you pretty up you and your life
  36. -
  37. >we're all demons, how obvious it is just depends on how much you pretty up you and your life
  38. -
  39. Do angels stay on the Internet too?
  40. -
  41. Angels touch you in your sleep and whisper filthy things in your ear. That's where wet dreams come from
  42. -
  43. >Angels touch you in your sleep and whisper filthy things in your ear
  44. Fake and Gay, Angels are against that sht
  45. -----------------------
  46. Does Luci enjoy pushing the worst in others?
  47. Charlie likes to push the best in people, so it would only make sense that her father would try to do the opposite.
  48. People being nice to each other probably makes him angry and irritable. People being happy in general upsets him.
  49. -
  50. I think he only enjoys pushing his theme park, visit Lu Lu World today, only 200 dollars per ride.
  51. -
  52. Its 100 and a handy if you're good at it
  53. -
  54. It's free forever if you give him your eternal soul. That's actually how he gets most of his souls these days. It's still a lot cheaper than going to Disneyland, plus pledging your soul to the Prince of Lies and eternal enemy of YHWH doesn't have the same slimey, dirty feeling of handing over your money to the company responsible for the new Star Wars trilogy.
  55. -
  56. Can he travel to Earth anytime he wants to steal people's appearances and frame them for various crimes? Imagine if he took over your body and started going on a killing spree, then going away at the last moment and letting you take the blame for his nefarious actions.
  57. -
  58. He can but since mass surveillance has taken over in most modern countries its getting harder and harder since alibi's are easier to obtain, potentially breaking the facade.
  59. -
  60. I would love a villain with shapeshifting abilities does this. You know someone is truly evil when they are willing to blame their evil acts on someone else and potentially ruining their reputation. The only example I can think of would be the villain from the anime Gatchaman Crowds. And maybe Kevin Levin from Ben 10 (before he got redeemed).
  61. ------------
  62. >the real reason why he's so distant with his daughter is because he's completely inundated with souls that he doesn't know what the fuk to do with since he opened his park for the cost of a soul
  63. >literally enough souls packed into the park to wipe out heaven and it's growing exponentially
  64. >they can't leave the park
  65. >so he's constantly drilling tunnels further and further down for soul housing
  66. >judgement day rolls around
  67. >he's stuck in tunnel #583723 constructing a new housing complex and none of heavens or hells forces know where he is
  68. ------------
  69. My knowledge of religion is limited but I have to wonder if Lucifer might be against intentionally forcing people into performing horrid acts. If Heaven is about blind obedience then would Lucifer champion individuality and rebellion?
  70.  
  71. He may be fully willing to leave the cards on the table and encourage people to indulge in their more base instincts, but he may never force someone to do so.
  72. -
  73. Per the pop-religion version of the general story, Lucifer (in the form of a snake) talked Eve into eating the apple, he didn't force her. There are related religions wherein a Lucifer-adjacent figure specifically disobeys a God-adjacent figure when all of his brothers are bending over backwards because he knows that what God really wants is for him to do what's right rather than blindly obey.
  74. ---
  75. How much hate will the show get from religious folks if Lucifer turns out to be the good guy and all the angels & God are evil?
  76. -
  77. As much hate as its already getting from them.
  78. -
  79. none since the evangelical crowd that would complain is dying from coof-19
  80. Lil NasX got a comparative whimper considering his music video showing him descending to Hell and being gay.
  81. -
  82. >tfw I don't know who that is and never heard of the video
  83. Is it because I live in the desert and don't have a TV anymore or am I just a boomer now?
  84. -
  85. I mean, that's just like, basic btch gnosticism.
  86. ------------
  87. I get the feeling that Vivziepop is going to go down that route rather than making the situation more morally grey
  88. -
  89. I think the CHERUB episode kind of sucked as a whole, but it did give me some hope that we might see some degree of haze on the moral compass.
  90.  
  91. >Lipton is already damned, the second he's dead he's getting on the express elevator to Hell
  92. >People in Heaven send CHERUB down to earth anyway to try to keep him alive. We know these people are mortal souls and not Heaven-born angels because its mentioned that the reason they want him protected from harm is because they benefited from his inventions in life
  93.  
  94. So, in spite of the fact that Heaven sends down an army of murderangels like clockwork to butcher the damned en masse, there are also people up in Heaven who are willing to to intervene in the living world to protect someone who is going straight to Hell to just sit there and wait until he ends up impaled on the business end of an exterminator's pike. That implies Heaven isn't unified in its agreement that the denizens of Hell just need to be culled and there's no two ways about it.
  95. -
  96. >>41032001
  97. The Daughter of Lucifer, the king of Hell, being a very nice and upstanding individual is already an interesting twist, I'd not be so quick to assume that Viv will stray away from an interesting position.
  98.  
  99. >>41032167
  100. Agreed, the Cherub episode was pretty bad but at the very least it gave us some glimmer that Heaven is not a one-note deal of being a shtty place to be or too righteous for their own good.
  101.  
  102. I am still dissapointed that the first real "angelic" designs we've seen are oversized pets and baby cherubs, but there's always still hope.
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